Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction ❯ Saving Grace ❯ Dreams and Awakenings ( Chapter 5 )

Arigatou to those who have reviewed this fic so far. I really do appreciate it. Beth, thank you for the condolences. It has been three months and I still have trouble talking about it but things are getting better. Caramia Shalear Cessiyyess, I am sorry to hear that you know the pain of someone committing suicide personally. That has to be hard to bear, but I am glad you thought I portrayed the emotions well. Mara Jade, Thank you for your condolences. It was hard and that's part of the reason this fic has not been updated. I needed to distance myself or poor Ro' was going to get an even harder time of it than he needed. Smiles. We don't need a traumatized archer, now do we? LadyDragonHeart, Your long wait is finally over. I hope you like this chapter as well. I had a real tough time writing it but I finally got it out. A Person, well I am glad you like it so far. And yeah this is more of a regular het fic than yaoi since I am concentrating on Ro's relationship with Mia and not with Sage. But there is some yaoi or at least shounen ai in the fic. ^_~ I apologize to anyone I have missed but it has been awhile since I last updated and I don't know for sure who else has reviewed. <blushes>

I do so hope this chapter was worth the wait. I think I finally got it where I am happy with it. And I made it a wee bit longer than normal to make up for it being so late. Please enjoy and now the fic.

Lena

CHAPTER 5:

Rowen looked around himself in confusion. He wasn't sure where he was exactly but had a pretty good idea that it wasn't heaven or hell so where? He squinted his blue eyes trying to make out anything in the pitch-black void that surrounded him. His ears strived for any sound, no matter how small, but there was nothing. It was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop, and he felt so light, as if he was floating instead of standing on some unseen surface. Or at least he thought he was standing on something. Kneeling, he tried to touch the ground beneath him, only to meet with air.

Straightening, he began to shiver violently. The space around him felt so unbelievably cold, almost like ice. Rowen wrapped his slender arms about himself in an effort to warm up his freezing body. *Wait a minute. Cold? Since when have I ever been cold?* Rowen couldn't remember a time when he was ever cold. His armor always made him unaware of the cold, so did that mean he no longer had his armor? He could feel himself starting to panic. He didn't want to lose Strata. It was the one thing that had remained constant in his life. Everything else always seemed to be transitory, even the other Ronins. Alarmed, he thought, *where am I?*

"You are where you choose to be, Rowen of the Strata."

Rowen jerked in surprise; he hadn't really expected an answer to be forthcoming. After all, he thought he was alone. He hadn't heard or seen anything to indicate otherwise. So to hear someone speaking to him now was unnerving to say the least. Spinning toward where he thought the voice originated, he called out warily, "who . . . who are you?!"

There was a brief flicker of illumination that receded quickly in light of the darkness, before the other spoke again, but this time the voice came from a different direction. "I am of no importance. What is important is you. Why have you done this to yourself? To your friends?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." Rowen tried to deny his actions.

"Oh really? Is that why your arms are covered in blood?" came the irritatingly calm voice.

Startled, Rowen glanced down at his arms and scowled. He couldn't see anything. "They are not."

"Don't trust your eyes, Strata. You cannot see here, yet. What do your other senses tell you? Am I lying to you or not?"

Rowen glowered. He didn't like this one bit but decided to humor the voice for the moment. Closing his eyes, he touched his left arm with his right hand and froze at the wet sticky feeling. All color drained from his already pale visage as he lifted his hand up to his face, the scent of blood assaulting him in that second. Rowen grimaced as he felt things start to slide away.

"Woah, now. Don't pass out. Your friends would be terribly disappointed if you died in here like this, especially after all that girl did to rescue you."

Rowen scoffed, furiously blinking his blue eyes as he tried to regain his focus on the voice. He was suddenly very tired. And still cold. He could hear his blood dripping onto the unseen ground and it made him light-headed.

"Friends? What friends? All my friends are dead, except for Mia, and I didn't mean for her to find me. I never wanted to hurt her, especially not like this," he whispered bitterly.

There was a slight pause before the voice spoke again causing Rowen to frown. There was something awful familiar about the voice. But for some reason, he couldn't place it. Whose was it? Opening his mouth to say something, he was cut off by the voice asking a question, a question that once more set Rowen's nerves on edge.

"Are you sure they are all dead?"

Rowen blinked. "Well . . . no. I mean technically they are alive, but they don't respond to anything. They are like statues. Something you can touch and feel but no life beats in their chest. It tears me apart each time I see them."

The voice was quiet once more and Rowen began to think it had left him when it finally spoke again. Its voice heavy with an unidentified emotion, as if it had been weighing something in its mind before speaking. The soft rich melodic voice caressed Rowen's skin as he listened to it expound. The warmth of the voice was like listening to a brook babble, and once more the archer was taken by surprise.

"You mean, much like you yourself are right now? How do you think that makes Mia feel? She's been dealing with the same thing you have been, has she not?"

Rowen swallowed hard. He hadn't thought about what this might be doing to Mia. Sure, he had thought about what his death might do to her, but him being a living statue? He never thought that he would survive his suicide attempt, so the thought of him being alive, but not had never even crossed his mind till now. "God, I don't want Mia to have to deal with another statue. Why can't I just die?!!" he cried out in his mind, unconsciously squeezing his bleeding arms.

Drip. Drip.

"Is that what you really want?" came the infuriatingly calm voice that Rowen swore he should know. "Because if it is, I can release you from your torment . . . But beware the consequences of your actions, Strata!"

Rowen bit his lip unconsciously as he tried to think. He felt like his brain was completely filled with Swiss cheese. Lifting a heavy hand to his head, he tried to massage away the headache that was forming there. "What consequences?" he asked tiredly.

The voice laughed slightly before quieting almost immediately. "Why the ones you are even now putting into effect. Look and see . . ." The figure waved an invisible hand in the air and a small mirror appeared in front of Rowen.

A bit nonplused, Rowen eyed the mirror with distrust causing his unknown benefactor to laugh.

"Oh come now, warrior of life. Even I know that the mirror is but part of a dream. It will not harm you."

Sighing, Rowen decided what harm could it do to look? So Rowen did as the voice asked and gasped at the sight that met his sleep addled brain. Reaching outwards, he tried to reach Mia's sleeping form. "Mia . . ." he murmured brokenly.

"She can't hear you. You're not awake. I'm only allowing you to see through your perceptions. You knew that she would be there, waiting. Hence, there she is. You're dreaming, Rowen."

Rowen nodded in understanding. "All right then wise guy. If you are correct then, why can't I see Sage? If this is based on my perceptions, on a dream I am currently having then I want to see Seiji."

The voice paused again. "Ever so watchful, you are. I never could fool you, could I Touma?" The small mirror disappeared into the darkness and a golden light seemed to emanate from the darkness. It took but a moment but to Rowen it seemed a lifetime as the one person Rowen had wanted to hold for three years stepped out of the bleak shadows, a gentle swirling mist clinging to his clothes. His hair shining with a halo of light that made the dark room spin wildly before settling down into a more muted shade of grey.

Rowen's mouth dropped open in shock. Only one person, knew his full real name. "Sage?" he gasped out in shock, surprise and hope.

The shadowy figure stepped out from the depths of Rowen's mind. A gentle glow of pale warm light encased the slender, lithe figure. "Hello Rowen," the other boy said softly, so softly that Rowen had to strain to hear the words as he felt his world being turned upside down.

Sage rushed to Rowen's side as the boy collapsed in his dream. "Rowen!!" he screamed. Falling to his knees beside the blue-haired boy, Sage shook Rowen gently. "Wake up!! Rowen!!"

Groggily, Rowen's blue eyes swam back into focus as he blinked up at Sage. "Wha? What happened?" Sitting up, he tentatively reached out to run a hand over a pale cheek, smearing a bit of blood on the porcelain skin. "You're real . . ." he said in awe.

Sage nodded as he brushed away the slight smear of blood. "I'm as real as you are at the moment." Sage sat down beside the other boy, placing Rowen's head in his lap. "Right now, we are both trapped in limbo. Our bodies are elsewhere but our minds, well we are here. In your dream."

Rowen looked confused. "But how did we get here then?"

Sage ducked his head down. "I could hear you calling for me. I knew you were in trouble and I had to reach you. This was the only way I could manage to do it, trapped as I am. Rowen, you can't give up. We need you to rescue us."

Rowen shook his head. "But . . . but I don't know how too . . ." He hugged himself as another shiver went through him. He could feel himself slipping farther and farther away despite Sage's words.

"You will Rowen. Give it time. I have faith in you, though I am worried about your fainting. Do you really want to die that badly?"

Rowen could only nod tiredly. "I don't deserve to be alive when the others are . . ."

"Are what?!" Sage asked sharply.

Rowen shrugged. "It was my idea to visit the temple and now you all are stuck there. It's my fault."

Sage shook his head and drew the archer into his grasp. "It was no one's fault. We all wanted to go just as much as you did. We just never said anything about it. We let our guard down in the Temple and that's all it took for us to fall victim. But you can set us free Touma. I believe in you, Rowen. What do I have to do to prove that to you?"

Rowen shrugged. "Nothing. I think you just did with that statement."

Sage smiled tightly, his worry for the younger Ronin apparent in his violet eyes. "All right, now Rowen. You already know you are dreaming. That is why your arms are bleeding. You think you deserve this; that you should be punished for failing us in some way but you only fail us if you give up. So don't. Fight it, Rowen. Concentrate on the wounds. They are only phantoms of the real ones which have already been bandaged. I would heal you if I could, but I can't. You must concentrate."

Rowen nodded his head weakly in understanding. Closing his eyes, he fought to focus on the wounds that were giving him grief. After a few moments, he felt a light tingling and gasping he looked down at his arms which were giving off a very faint blue glow. Raising his eyes to Sage, he smiled when he realized it was working. The blood was disappearing as was his chill.

Sage smiled back. "Very good Rowen. Now relax. Let yourself begin to drift. You need to wake up. You can't stay unconscious forever. Mia needs you. I . . .we need you." Sage corrected himself.

Rowen frowned. "I don't want to go. I want to stay here with you."

Sage smiled indulgently, like one would to a small child. Lifting an almost translucent hand, he began to stroke Rowen's cheek tenderly. "But this isn't real. Wouldn't you rather banter with me while awake instead of just in your head?"

Rowen tilted his head to the side, moving into the light caress that Sage was offering. "I guess so . . ." he mumbled.

Sage smiled softly. "Good. Besides I'd hate to be the one to have to tell Mia that you have given up on us. She just might strangle you herself, if you weren't already in the position you are in."

Rowen swallowed hard. "You're right. I wouldn't. She's already angry with me . . ."

Sage smiled sardonically. "And you think I'm not?"

Rowen regarded the swordsman with arched brows. "Are you?"

Sage's violet eyes widened. "Of course I am. I'm very angry at you for doing this to yourself. I know if you put your mind to it you can do anything. So, I guess I don't understand why you seem intent on throwing away your life so recklessly. Fight it, Rowen. Fight for yourself, for Mia, for the others, and for me. I'll see you when you crack the puzzle." Sage started to fade away, terrifying Rowen in the process.

"SAGE!! No!! Don't leave me here, alone. I don't know how to get out of here. Please, Sage! Help me," he cried out as he tried to grab the blonde.

Sage paused and pointed behind Rowen where a steady shaft of light was growing. "There, Rowen. Go through there."

Rowen turned to gaze at the rapidly lighting exit behind him and when he turned around to face Sage again, the blonde was gone. Biting his lip, Rowen turned into the light and immediately felt disoriented as his senses plummeted. He was falling into the world of light.

His body convulsed upon the reentry of his mind. The world was awash in bright colors and his breathing was harsh in his ears. The sounds of several different machines beeping frantically reached his senses and caused a cacophony to go up in his head. Wincing, he tried to shut out the lights and the noise only to feel himself gagging on the tube in his throat. Attempting to raise his hands, he was stunned to find them too heavy to lift. Turning panicking eyes to his right, he saw Mia beginning to wake from the noise of his life support machines.

Mia frowned at the loud ringing. It was way too early to be getting up. Why did she set her alarm this early anyway? Swatting at where she thought her alarm sat, she was surprised to note her hand passing through thin air. Sitting up in confusion, her eyes grew round in comprehension of where she was and that the beeping was most definitely not her alarm clock. Her eyes flew to the bed in which Rowen lay and she nearly fell out of her chair at the hysteria she saw in his blue eyes. Hastily standing, she gripped Rowen's hand in hers. She must have let go sometime during the night.

"Shhh, Rowen. You're safe. Just relax. I'm here. I won't let anything happen to you."

Rowen blinked at her and whimpered low in his throat since he couldn't talk because of the tube.

Mia shot her gaze to the door, wondering why the doctor had yet to arrive in the room. Surely they heard the monitors going off. Deciding to hurry them along, she reached down and pressed the emergency call button on Rowen's bedside. Lightly running her fingers over Rowen's cheek, she smiled gently. "They'll be here in a minute Rowen. Just stay calm. You're going to be all right. I knew you would be." Mia's gaze flew up when she heard the door swing open and the harried looking doctor stepped inside.

"What has happened? What is wrong?" he asked gently but worriedly. Inwardly assuming that the boy had died since the machines were all ringing shrilly. He never bothered to look at what the machines were printing out, and he hadn't been working at the hospital long enough to distinguish the machines' different tones and what they might mean.

Mia smiled through the tears that were coursing down over her cheeks. "Nothing's wrong, Dr. Samuels. In fact, everything is just great. It's just . . . well see for yourself," she stated as she stepped to the side revealing Rowen's pale anxious face.

The doctor came closer and blinked in wide-eyed astonishment. "He's awake. Well I'll be and I bet you want that tube out of your throat huh?"

Rowen nodded his head slightly wincing at the weird sensation the tube was giving him.

Dr. Samuels nodded. "All right then. Let's get that tube out of you." Pausing, he could still hear the shrill scream of the machines. Frowning, he swivelled around, yelling out into the hall, "won't someone shut those blasted things off?!!"

A moment later, a well-rounded matronly nurse shuffled in and hit the off switches on the machines. "Sorry sir. We thought you would do it."

The doctor glared before shaking his head at the woman. "One of these days, sis. I swear."

Mia raised an eyebrow at the two, hiding a smile behind her hand as the nurse came over to assist in removing the tube from Rowen's throat.

Dr. Samuels looked up at her and smiled as well. "Seems you were right about this young man. Now about that tube . . ." he trailed off as he set about removing the tube from Rowen's throat.

A moment later, Rowen breathed a sigh of relief as the tube exited his mouth. Working his jaw experimentally, he wrinkled his nose in distaste as small flashes of pain shot through him. His mouth was sore from the tube. "Mia . . ." he cried out weakly.

"Shhhh, Rowen. I bet your throat is sore. Don't try to talk right now, all right?"

Rowen inclined his head briefly, his eyes meeting the doctors and asking a silent question.

Dr. Samuels was taken back by the intelligence and the sheer determination that shone in the boy's eyes. After coming so close to death at your own hands, he would have thought that the boy's will was broken. That, however, was apparently not the case. Somewhere along the lines, the boy found his will to live again and for that the doctor was grateful. He would have hated to see the young man's life snuffed out so soon.

Smiling at the inquisitive boy, Dr. Samuels introduced himself. "I'm Dr. Samuels, Rowen. I have been put in charge of your case. As you know, you lost a lot of blood from the cuts on your wrists and had to be put on life support because you stopped breathing on your own. Your sister, here has been extremely worried about you."

The only sign that Rowen noticed the doctor's word choice was a slight raising of his eyebrow and a gentle squeeze on Mia's hand. *Sister, huh? Mia, you shouldn't have.*

Mia squeezed his hand back as she stood. Brushing a hand through his loose indigo locks, she gave him a light kiss on the brow. "I'm going to go get you a glass of water. I'll be right back."

Rowen nodded, his eyes never leaving her as she walked out of the room.

Dr. Samuels smiled as his own sister vacated the room. "She is a truly amazing woman, your sister. You have to give her credit. If she hadn't kept a clear head, I doubt you would be here now. In fact I admit it, I am mildly surprised to see you even awake. I didn't think you were going to make it."

Rowen met the doctor's gaze evenly and could see the truth in the man's eyes as to how close he had come to dying. Swallowing hard, he attempted to ask a question. "How . . . ?" he rasped out unsteadily.

"How close?" At Rowen's nod, Dr. Samuels continued, "your brain waves were slowly down. It was almost as if you were giving up." He got up and strode over to one of the machines that had been spitting out information a few moments ago. Pulling the sheet up, he began to study it intently. "It seems that your brain waves began to pick up somewhat about two hours ago but it was not enough to signify an alert. How odd."

"What's odd?" came Mia's voice from the doorway.

Dr. Samuels turned slightly. "Oh. I was just reading Rowen's printouts and the first significant increase in his brain waves occurred right before he awakened."

Mia shrugged as she tilted the water glass up to Rowen's lips, allowing him to drink. "So? Wouldn't that be normal?"

The doctor shook his head. "Well yes and no. True, there should be more significant waves the closer a patient is too waking but there should also be other waves indicating that the patient was waking up. This chart has none of those. It is almost as if he was dying one moment and then the next he was fine and determined to live. I've never seen anything like it."

Mia shrugged again, not understanding it herself but then she had a feeling that Strata had a hand in keeping its bearer alive.

The doctor shook his head again and sighed. "Well, he appears to be doing better. He'll have to stay here for a while longer for observation but I think we can move him to a regular room. How does that sound to you two?"

Mia eyed Rowen's still sickly looking complexion and nodded. "That's fine."

A moment later, Dr. Samuels had Rowen unhooked from all the machines that were monitoring him, leaving the iv in his arm. Carefully they transferred the weak boy to his new room down the hall and to the right of the ICU ward where he began to struggle to keep his eyes open.

Mia smiled as she saw Rowen blinking tiredly but frowned when she saw him shiver slightly. "Ro', are you cold?"

Rowen nodded miserably, his voice still raw.

Mia nodded and asked for two extra blankets, one for herself and one for Rowen. Dr. Samuels gave her the requested blankets and checking Rowen's iv, departed the room, leaving Mia alone with the barely awake boy. Kissing him lightly on the forehead, she said quietly. "Go to sleep Rowen. You need the rest."

Rowen blinked once before succumbing to the demands his body was making of him. His blue eyes slid shut and his breathing evened out as he fell into a deep healing sleep.

Mia bit her lip as she settled in to watch the peacefully sleeping boy. He looked so much younger asleep than he did when he was awake. Settling down in the nearby chair, she propped her feet up on the provided stool and tucked the blanket in around herself, content to watch Rowen as he slept, a small smile playing on her lips.

TBC . . .

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Author's Note: I have no real knowledge about the brain wave patterns that I had Dr. Samuels questioning but that is what makes sense to me, so don't flame me if it is wrong. However, if anyone knows whether that is right or not, I would appreciate it. Arigatou.

Also if you can tell me the answer to what movie the following quote is from, I will write you a fic of your choice as long as it deals with either Ronin Warriors (YST) or Gundam Wing. Here's the quote, *Why throw away your life so recklessly?* And yes I do have a particular movie in mind.