Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction ❯ Silent Love ❯ Silent Love ( One-Shot )

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Yoroiden Samurai Trooper nor anything else, but the fic & idea
Song: Wasted Time
By: Skid Row (Sebastian Bach)
Album: Slave to the Grind
Warnings: This is a Yaoi & Against Song Fic! Concerning Ryo & Shin…

Silent Love
by: wingsofsakon

You and I together in our lives,
Sacred ties would never fray
Then why can I let myself tell lies
And watch you die every day

Ryo shut the door to Shin's room and went to his own. A moment too late and things would never be the same. He shut his door and slid to the floor: catching up with his heart as they reached the carpet.

I saw it in your eyes. I saw it in the way you held yourself towards us. You have fallen my angel. Your grace has turned to black and the clouds are thundering. The ground went barren and the wind has picked up. You need shelter and you won't allow any one to lead you inside. Where's my friend I used to know?

It angers me. The fact you left us and moved in with him. You make me feel like I did some thing wrong. Like it was my fault you left. That the others and I… weren't good enough for you. You left and you took some thing with you from us. All we could do is watch you walk out that door… Thinking that you'd be happier with him. All we could do… is watch and wish that you would get it. That hurt so much.

I think back to the times when dreams were what mattered
Tough talking youth naivete

What were you looking for? Did you find it? Well, did you! Did he make you happy? Did he ravish you with love and tell you he loved you. Did he? Did he tell you that you were beautiful as he traced your body with his fingers? Did he promise that he'd love you forever: until the end of time. Isn't that what you were looking for? You were so blind that you didn't hear a single word we advised to you.

You said you'd never let me down
But the horse stampedes and rages
In the name of desperation

When we picked you up from the hospital. You didn't say a word to us. You didn't let our connection be felt and was cold. That wall you have up is killing us… especially me. Your defenses were up even before we walked into the room. So, we didn't say any thing either. We just brought you home and no doubt… you'll leave again when you're healed. Or are you finally done with him? You aren't even the Shin we used to know any more. You can't live off his love, Shin. You're starving and I can see it. The shine from your soul is gone from behind your eyes. You're just living in a shell that you have disconnected with.

Is it all just wasted time
Can you look at yourself when you think of what you left behind
Is it all just wasted time
Can you live with yourself when you think of what you left behind

I gave you my clothes this time to wear. I saw you change… Why… Why? I should have made you stay. You were in no condition to leave. The bruises… the scars, nicks, scratches and welts. They all have a story don't they. We used to tease you about counting your ribs because you were so thin and lean. We never thought you would actually make that possible. Is that the reason you wouldn't let us touch you? Or is it that you only accept… his touch?

In the darkness: Ryo held himself. Trying his best to fight the reality that seeped into his heart. Grasping tight to the fabric of his sweatpants. Knees resting his head from the silent cries. That seemed to crush his soul. The room seemed to circle him in the stillness. That was so stale it made it hard for him to breathe.

Paranoid delusions they haunt you
Where's my friend I used to know
He's all alone.
He's buried deep within a
carcass searching for a soul

God… God No! How could have that happened? No, this can't be right… it's not. This is all a lie and a dream. Please, let me wake up from this. Let this be a dream, let this be a lie. Some one please tell me it's all right and things are just like they should be. Tell me that I didn't mess up and things went the right way. Tell me that I told him I loved him and he's here. Sleeping under the covers soundly… safely and loves me back. Tell me that he never started dating him and he's only waiting for me. Tell me that he's happy and is well taken care of. Just tell me he's off some where with feelings for me and doing just fine! Tell Me! Some one! Any one… please tell me some thing other than what I know.

Can you feel me inside your heart as it's bleeding
Why can't you believe you can be loved
I hear you scream in agony

I was getting the nerve… I really was. You were so perfect that night. A smile that melted my heart and a laugh that soothed my soul. We touched briefly as we joked, but never let it get more than platonic. At times we doubled over and I could touch you. You were so soft under my hands. I had plans to ask you then. After all it was your birthday… I just hoped I was right. That you felt the same way for me as I thought you did.

I got up from the floor to leave. Looked at you with as much courage as I could find and began to ask.

"Shin… " That was all that would come and I started to panic.
You looked up at me with a half smile and emerald green eyes that sparkled. "What?… " You asked with a gentle voice. It made me lose my thoughts and I couldn't find myself to speak what I wanted.

And the horse stampedes and rages
In the name of desperation

"Nothing… I hope you had a good birthday." I said as I left.

Turning around… in the corner of my eye. I saw you still looking at me strangely. Was that a sign I was right? Did you indeed care for me to? Not that it matters now. A week later you were seeing some one and a month later you moved out. Nothing we said helped change your mind.

Is it all just wasted time
Can you look at yourself when you think of what you left behind
Is it all just wasted time
Can you live with yourself when you think of what you left behind

Now I look at you. I see only a resemblance of who I knew back then. I know some where deep with in the person you are now. There's still a match light of who you were. Some one: kind, gentle, strong and full of courage. Just waiting for a call to come out bursting in flames. But it's so far away that I can't even feel its warmth.

Is it all just wasted time
Can you look at yourself when you think of what you left behind
Is it all just wasted time
Can you live with yourself when you think of what you left behind

If I had said some thing back then. Would you have been where you are now? As a friend I'm here when you need me. Not telling you that I knew he wasn't any good for you. Not telling you that you were weak for not fighting back. Not holding you tight and safe in my arms, as a lover should. I'm just here… here waiting for you. Here, when or if ever you need a form of escape. Here, incase you ever let me see you cry. So, I can wipe away those tears. Here, incase you need a friend or… a new lover.

The sun will rise again
The earth will turn to sand
Creation's colors seem to fade to grey
And you'll see the sickly hands of time will write your final rhyme
And end a memory

Look at what he's done to you! Can't you see what's happened or don't you care? No, I know you better than that. You can see, you know and you feel every thing that has to do with it. It's just that you're… not ready. Not yet… I know walking out that door will be hard. You're not ready to crawl into a cold bed where there's no one there. To even pretend to love you.

Strait out I asked you. Do you want me to tell you how I really feel and see what I see? Or do you want me to go along with goes along and just be there for you? You looked at me and swallowed. You said to me seriously. Just tell me and be there for me. So, I have been and it's killing me!

Ryo let his headache take him into the darkness of his dreams. It was the sunshine that woke him up from the floor. On his way downstairs: he stopped at Shin's room. Where the door was open and room empty.

I never thought you'd let it get this far boy

His heart sank as he looked at the made bed by the window. He didn't have to ask where he was.

I never thought
I never thought you'd let it get this far boy oh no

All over again. He felt the anger and pain flood through his body.

So, he went back already. You didn't even say good-bye to me. Although, I know in a few days you will call me. Needing a friend and tears in your voice.

Patient… I have to be patient to get to the end of this. Even though it's so damn hard seeing you like this.

I never thought
I never thought you'd let it get this far boy no…

You will come around sooner or later. I just can't stand to see you suffer. I love you so much! You only let me get so close before you push away. You lock me out from the window and all I can do is… watch. Watch what's going on and let you do as you do.

I'll be here for you.
Because, I'm your friend…
Because… I love you…

I never thought you'd let it get this far boy