Rozen Maiden Fan Fiction ❯ Dream of Something Better ❯ My Dearest Conscience ( Chapter 15 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Disclaimer: I do not own Rozen Maiden. I do, however, own Rikou Daijima, Mirien Daijima, Anira Hanagami/ Rina A. Gamihana, Morielta, Scylla, Lyn, the `Master' and the personality of Joenna.

Chapter 15

Suigintou sat on top of a giant sky scraper in the middle of the city. She enjoyed the view from these tall skyscrapers, and this was the reason why she visited them often.

On this occasion, Suigintou had gone out because she had nothing better to do. Rikou and Mirien had gone to school, so there was nothing to do in their apartment other than watch television. But she found that boring and a waste of her time.

So, she sat on the edge of the skyscraper, swinging her legs. She let the wind play with her hair, and she could feel the feathers fall off her wings and scatter around her.

Once she decided she had had enough of the view from the sky scraper, she stood up and took flight.

`This city is so boring.' Suigintou thought to herself.

Then, as she was passing some alleyways, some loud voices caught her attention.

`You don't deserve to live, you were scrap in the first place!'

`Yeah, dude, like, she was totally useless.'

Suigintou found where the voices were coming from, and saw a small group of about six boys and girls bashing up a white-blonde haired, blue eyed living doll.

`So, like, should she beg for mercy, or what?'

`She wasn't useful anyway! She doesn't deserve anything!'

Suigintou watched as the ringleader, a teenaged boy, kicked her repeatedly in the stomach.

`If you wanna live, then beg for your life! Beg! Beg!...'

The rest of the group joined in, repeatedly chanting the word `Beg!' at the doll.

`S…So…' The doll sniffled, tears running down her cheeks. `Sor…r…Sor…'

`Talk louder, I can't hear ya!' The ringleader yelled, yet again kicking her in the stomach.

Suigintou froze. She didn't know what she should do. If she decided to help the doll, the doll might live, but she would also risk revealing her identity to the group of teenagers.

But that wasn't all that froze her. The doll was fairly beaten, naked, and too weak to defend herself. Seeing this reminded Suigintou of someone she used to know. Someone she used to be.

The pain of Suigintou's earliest memories, of being naked, alone and frightened had faded over time. But, even if the pain had faded, it was still there.

Suigintou covered her ears as the beaten doll's screams brought back horrible memories of her most painful screams. Suigintou wanted to move away from here, and force the memories of her early torture to the back of her mind. But she could not.

`She's nearly dead anyway. Let's go guys! We've got other things to do.'

When the ringleader said this, her thoughts snapped back to the scene unfolding before her.

`Hey, dude, like, aren't you gonna take your medium ring off?'

`Nah. If I take it off she'll just die. If I leave it on, she'll suffer more, and that's what she deserves.'

`What ever you say, dude.'

The group had too far away for Suigintou to hear the rest of the conversation.

She turned back to the doll who could barely keep her eyes open.

`A…An…g…el…' The doll croaked.

She reached forward, with her hand stretched towards Suigintou.

`Don't be stupid. I'm a living doll, just like you.' Suigintou replied.

The doll shook her head. `Li…v…living do…dolls don…don't fl…fl…y. Yo…You must be…a…an angel.'

Suigintou walked towards the doll, and stood in front of her. She then lifted up her sleeve, showing the ball joint in her wrist.

`See? I'm just like you.'

`An…g…gel…' the doll whispered.

`Fine, believe what you like.' Suigintou said with sigh.

Suigintou sat in front of this doll. This doll, right now, reminded Suigintou very much of herself, in her earliest days.

`Ang…el?' the doll said.

`What?'

`Before…Before I g…go, ca…n I please te…tell you my na…name?'

`Go ahead.' Suigintou replied.

`Yuki. I wa…was nam…named after my ma…masters dead s…sister.'

`You won't die unless he take his ring off.' Suigintou said.

`I thi…think I'll get pre…pretty clo…se.'

Yuki closed her eyes and smiled.

`I…was…n't w…orth mu…ch.'

`…Junk…'

Yuki shrugged. `I gu…guess s…so.'

Yuki then turned to Suigintou. `A…Angel?'

`What?'

`D…Do li…living dolls go t…to heaven?'

Suigintou did not want to answer, but she considering Yuki's circumstance, did so anyway.

`They might.'

`Hmmm…' Yuki closed her eyes.

Yuki did not speak for about a quarter of an hour, and when she didn't, it was Suigintou's que to leave.

She took flight again, thinking about what had happened. How many other dolls out there had been abandoned, like Yuki had? Did people consider them as beings with souls, or just inanimate objects that acted human?

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Lyn sat in front of the crimson-dressed doll, and took a few sips of the tea she was drinking. She spent a lot of time with the Rozen Maiden, although she couldn't respond when Lyn was talking to her.

Lyn put the cup down on the saucer that was on the ground. She realised that although the Rozen Maiden had been here for a quite a long time, she had no idea what her name was. Other than her two older sisters, and herself, she did not know the name of any of the living dolls scattered around the mansion.

Lyn knew that the nametags for the lifeless dolls were put underneath them, so there was no possible way that she could have seen them without touching the dolls, and that was something she was not allowed to do.

Morielta and Scylla were out again, and as her master only came out of his quarters on rare occasions, Lyn had nothing to do other than keep the Rozen Maiden company.

Lyn stared up at the roof.

`I must look quite silly, talking to something I know isn't going to respond.'

`What are you going to do then?'

`I don't really know…'

Lyn's focus shifted back to the Rozen Maiden and stared down at the device that kept her in a constant sleeping state.

Lyn knew how this device worked. After all, she had helped design it.

Lyn decided to do something she was forbidden to do. She reached out to the device and began to fiddle with the settings. Within a few seconds, Lyn had changed the sleeping poison activation setting to `Low'.

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Suigintou flew back to Rikou's apartment, and let herself in through the window. She was still thinking of the events that had happened that morning.

`Do living dolls really get abandoned that often?' Suigintou thought to herself.

Suddenly, a wave of pain shot through her, as her memories came flooding back to her. Images of her broken body lying upon the shelf, her Father smiling, always smiling but the smiles were never directed at her. His eyes taunting her, and almost challenging her, as she tried to reach out towards him.

Then, he left. And she fell. Her mind going blank, as her chin hit the floor.

Suigintou snapped back to reality. She was breathing heavily, and was still shaking.

`I need to distract myself.' She thought, as she turned on the TV and began to flick through the channels.

`who is still facing Abandonment issues...'

`tried to Mock me?'

`had been Tormented both …'

`takes your Junk away…'

Suigintou punched the TV, breaking the screen and causing the sound to become fuzzy. She then knocked it off the stand, causing it to smash into the floor, beyond all repair.

Suigintou felt something dark rise up from inside her. She turned around and smashed her wings into Rikou's desk, causing it to collapse and everything on top of it came crashing to the ground.

Suigintou turned to the wardrobe and opened it. `Stupid human.' She whispered.

She then slammed her wings into the side of it, and it fell, blocking the doorway. The top of the wardrobe hit the dresser, which fell over on its side and hit the bed, with such force, that it cracked on impact. Then, it split where the crack had been made.

She walked over to the coffee table and sat down at it. Suigintou had never been invited to sit at a table with anyone…until yesterday.

`Stupid.' She remarked at the meal she had shared with her medium and his sister.

Suigintou stared around the room she had just destroyed. She turned towards the coffee table.

`IT'S JUST BECAUSE HE'S SO STUPID.' She yelled. She grabbed the coffee table and flipped it over, causing anything on it to fall to crash to the floor. She summoned her sword and began to hack at the legs of the upside down coffee table.

`…That's right Suigintou. He's pretending to be naive because he doesn't want to face the truth.' A voice inside her head began to taunt her.

`NO! NO! LEAVE ME BE!' Suigintou screamed, as she finished off the coffee table.

`You're just worthless junk.'

`NO! I'm…I'm…' Suigintou whimpered.

`Nobody cares about you…Even your own father believes that you have no worth…junk.'

`NEVER!' Suigintou screamed.

`It's only the truth. You are a coward for not facing it.'

`SHUT UP!' Suigintou stood up and began thrashing around the room with her sword. `WHERE ARE YOU? I'LL KILL YOU!'

`You can hurt me, I live within you.'

`I don't believe you! SHOW YOURSELF!' Suigintou yelled.

Tears streamed down Suigintou's cheeks, as she began to destroy the everything in that room.

Suigintou gave up trying to seek out the voice, and finally collapsed, in a heap on the floor. She was still sobbing, her hands trying to wipe away tears.

When, she had calmed down, she sat back on her knees. Suigintou clutched her dress, and tried to stop herself from sobbing even further.

`…Junk…'

`LEAVE ME ALONE!' Suigintou yelled. Picking up her sword, and throwing it out the window.

The window smashed, and glass went everywhere.

Suigintou curled up in a ball, and began to cry.

`I do enjoy seeing you in discomfort…'

`SHUT UP AND GO AWAY!' Suigintou screamed.

`You are ruined Suigintou…'

`Get away…'Suigintou whimpered. `Leave me.'

`Suigintou, are you okay?'

Suigintou's head shot up, and looked around. That voice was different to the one she had heard before. This voice seemed oddly…familiar…Where had she heard it before?

The intense thudding in her head, from her headache, was causing her to loose her focus. She was beginning to feel extremely lightheaded.

Soon, everything began to spin…Suigintou felt herself fall backwards, and could do nothing to stop herself from hitting the floor. Suddenly everything went black.

If she had been awake, she would have felt an invisible hand touch her cheek.

`Suigintou…'

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Lyn had waited for about an hour, before she saw the first signs of life. The Rozen Maiden began to flinch, and was attempting to open her eyes.

Once the Rozen Maiden had managed to open her eyes, she found herself staring directly at Lyn. She began to gaze around the room, in order to take in her new surroundings.

Lyn could see that the Rozen Maiden was confused.

`Rozen Maiden, look at me.' Lyn said firmly, as the Rozen Maiden turned towards Lyn. `Firstly, if anyone else other than myself comes in this room, close your eyes and pretend that you're sleeping. Do not move, even a small movement will give yourself away. Do I make myself clear?'

The Rozen Maiden nodded weakly.

`So, Rozen Maiden, what is your name?'

`…I don't remember.' The Rozen Maiden replied hazily.

`The effect of the sleeping poison must not have fully worn off yet.' Lyn said with a sigh.

`What are…you?' The Rozen Maiden asked.

`I'm a living doll! Just like y…' Lyn re-thought the statement she was about to make. `A living doll, similar to you, but not the same.'

`There are more…living dolls than…before…'

Lyn had no idea what the Rozen Maiden was talking about. Before? Living dolls had always been around.

`The Rozen Maidens were probably made a long time ago.' Lyn thought to herself.

`So, do you remember who you are yet.'

The Rozen Maiden's expression told Lyn that she was straining herself to remember.

`Fifth.' The Rozen Maiden replied. `I was…fifth.'

`Fifth?' Lyn said to herself. `That doesn't help much…Unless that's what your name was. Is `fifth' your name?'

`Part…of it…I think…' The Rozen Maiden replied.

`Why don't you go back to sleep? You will probably need some natural sleep.' Lyn told her.

`Is there tea here?'

`Yeah, but I have to make it myself, if you don't mind that.' Lyn replied. `Do you like tea?'

The Rozen Maiden `fifth' was asleep.

Lyn sighed. She picked up the tray she had brought her tea in with, and walked out the room with it.

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Suigintou felt horrible. When she had recovered from her loss of consciousness, she realised that she had wasted a large amount of her power, and that cleaning up her medium's room would waste even more of her power. Still, she had decided to fix up her medium's room back to its original state.

After the room was fixed, Suigintou crawled onto the bed and lay down in order to rest, and regain her power. Soon afterwards, she had fallen to sleep.

About half an hour later, Rikou and Mirien came home from school. Rikou walked into his room, and dumped his bag near the door.

`Why is school always so tiring?' He asked himself, as he sat down on the desk chair.

Rikou looked around his room, and spotted Suigintou sleeping on his bed. He walked over to the bed and knelt beside it.

He reached out and touched her cheek.

`Wow, she's softer than she looks.' He thought.

Suigintou raised her hand while she was still sleeping, and attempted to swat his hand away from her face.

Rikou's smirked, because he found Suigintou's action quite cute. He instantly moved his hand away from her, went over to his desk and began doing his homework.

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Suigintou was having a peaceful dream. Her soul was transported to her dream world, where she rested in the church of her ghost town, with her head against the altar.

Suigintou stared up at the roof. Small sections of the roof were missing, allowing small fractions of dim light into the church. Of all the buildings in her ghost town, she found the church the most welcoming, although anyone else would have thought this was an overstatement.

She then heard footsteps coming from behind her, walking slowly towards her. Suigintou turned, and she saw a shadow emerge from one of the hallways at the end of the church. The figure was roughly the same size as she was.

She stood up and turned to face the figure.

`Who are you, and what are you doing in my dreamscape?'

There was no reply.

Suigintou summoned her sword. `Answer me!'

The figure kept walking towards her at the slow, but steady pace that it had been since Suigintou had first heard it.

Suddenly, the pace began to quicken. Suigintou held her sword in front of her.

`Who are you, and what do you want with me?'

The figure stepped through a patch of light that had come down from the roof. Suigintou gasped as she realised who it was that she was dealing with.

`W…W…' She was speechless against the figure that approached her.

Suigintou was somewhat scared of the figure that approached her. The figure seemed somewhat… different from when Suigintou had last seen her.

Soon, the figure had Suigintou backed up against the church wall. Suigintou tried to put her sword between the figure and herself, but the figure simply pushed it aside, and it fell to the floor.

Suigintou was frozen, and she did not know what she could do. She simply complied, as the figure embraced her. The figure was cold to touch, and Suigintou drew a quick breath as she wrapped her arms around Suigintou's shoulders.

And then, she was gone. Just as quickly as she had appeared, the figure had just…vanished. Suigintou was still shocked at what had just happened.

`…Shinku?'

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A/N

This chapter is shorter than some of the previous ones I have written, but see how much PLOT there is! No cameos from Sui and Sou's household, as this was a more serious chapter and was filled with PLOT.

Have any of you ever found that you get a period of mass workload, then a period of lack of work, then a period of mass workload etc? This is what I have found…