Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ As Time Goes By ❯ The Ties That Bind (Part 2 of 3) ( Chapter 8 )

Sorry for the delay in posting...I'm trying to get over a nasty flare up of Carpal Tunnel and am down to pecking with my left hand. On a happier note, this story was nominated and won an award for "Best Adventure Story" on Nikki's website. I would like to thank all of you who took the time to vote and for the wonderful support you have shown me. I hope that you all know that your reviews, comments and questions are deeply appreciated. So, here is chapter eight. I completely revised it due to some thoughtful comments by two of my best readers. (Thanks again!)

AS TIME GOES BY

Chapter Eight

The Ties That Bind (Part Two of Three)

It began with a single snowflake....One tiny, insubstantial granule of air spun ice. It fell mindlessly from the sky, twisting and dancing down towards the earth with graceless ease. Other snowflakes began to follow suit, each one a miniature work of art. They too made their descent...some landing on rooftops...others finding rest in on withered maple leaves. Some met their demise amidst the tangle of skirts and coats, others fell victim to the icy puddles that littered the busy walkways of downtown Tokyo.

Despite the losses, the snow still fell from the sky. Crystal by crystal, ice mote by ice mote, the teeming city was slowly transformed into a pristine dream scape filled with chiseled snow drifts and ice covered meditation pools. In the space of a night, the soot filled city was reborn into a gleaming white metropolis of icicles and freshly driven snow. Those who dared brave the bitter temperatures would recall that the city had never seemed so fair..so utterly unspoiled by the ravages of an ill timed industrial revolution. It was a wonderland of purity, a glowing white winter dream that dazzled the eye and left the heart and mind at peace......

That is as long as you didn't stray into the nightmare that had once been a busy train terminal.

Here, the snow was no longer white...but stained with smoldering chunks of half burned coal, oil drops and hastily discarded luggage. There were other stains...menacing crimson stains that bled out in a million different directions, dyeing the virginal snow with the color of human misery. These stains bespoke suffering, pain and fear and if one was observant enough, whispered the fate of the person from whence the blood spatters and pools originated. Footsteps appeared...frantically spaced, and erratic as though the people making them had been running. Eventually, the footsteps all led to one place...a run down excuse for shipping warehouse. It had poorly fashioned wooden plank walls and a leaking tin roof that had turned a sickly shade of green from years of neglect and oxidation. At one time, the building had reeked of discarded cargo and years of accumulated rat feces....now the tang of antiseptic and the sweet smell of soap could be detected emanating from the thin, water warped walls. It was to this wreck of a building that all the footsteps and bloodstains led, a pathetic ending place for so many lives and dreams.

The stains stopped at the foot of the stairs, then suddenly diverged....some leading to one room that was littered with the blanketed remains of those who had been killed by the initial impact or who had died from a combination of blood loss, shock and hypothermia. This makeshift morgue was terribly quiet, the only sound being the occasion sounds of suppressed weeping from grieving family looking for a familiar face and finding it among the dead.

The other trail led to a brightly lit room where the smell of blood and tears warred with carbolic acid and laundered bandages. This room was noisy and chaotic, a whirlwind of action. Voices competed for attention...some were groans, some angry demands for assistance, others were simply pain filled screams.

And yet again, if one took the time to listen...several voices stood apart from the moans and whimpers. One belonged to a young man....it was shaky and thin from grief and horror, but still managed somehow to contain great amounts of kindness. One voice was deep and gruff, the verbal embodiment of anger that anyone should suffer in such a manner. The third voice was no more than a whisper on the wind, a quiet soothing tenor that radiated a surreal calmness and left those it touched at ease and willing to endure what they must. Finally amidst the chaos, the fourth voice could be heard. It was reason personified, clipped and precise. Unlike the others, these tones could only belong to a woman...one whose mind and body had been pushed to the limits of her endurance over and over again and now...at the end of this trial was nearly undone.

(I can't keep doing this...) Mara pressed her forehead against the wall and tried to force her shaking hands into stillness. (I'm too tired to think properly and am going to make a mistake...) It had been nearly eighteen hours since she'd begun to operate..an eternity of screams and pain and blood. (Gods...the blood....) Tired grey eyes stared listlessly at her woolen skirt. It was saturated with gore...no longer charcoal in color, but a deep shade of vermillion. (I'll never be rid of it....) A barely suppressed sob began to worm its way up her sore throat. (Never....)

"Here." Sano's deep voice caused her to startle. "I..um...thought you might like something to warm you up." He held out a steaming cup of fragrant green tea.

"Thank you." Mara tried to smile as she reached out for the blessedly warm beverage.

"Don't mention it." Sanosuke nodded slightly, never taking his eyes of the woman's trembling limbs. (Gods, Sweetheart...you can't even hold a damn cup of tea !....) His eyes narrowed angrily when Mara's unsteady hold caused the hot tea to slosh over the rim of the teacup and onto her cracked, overworked hands. "Dammit Mara! You're gonna burn yourself!" Sano reached over and snatched the porcelain cup before anymore of its contents spilled.

"I'm...sorry." Mara whispered raggedly.

(Way to go Sagara....why don't you kick her while you're at it?) Sano inwardly cursed, realizing that once again is concern for the slender doctor had been misinterpreted as anger. "C'mon babe...I didn't mean to snap at ya." He thought for a moment, then grinned...pleased at the solution he'd come up with. "Here." Holding out the teacup towards her, Sanosuke deliberately made his voice as soft as he could manage. "Lemme help you." His eyes softened when the exhausted woman nodded slightly, and allowed him to help steady the teacup while she drank from it. "Does that make you feel a bit better?"

"Yes." Mara nodded, unsure which sensation was more enjoyable...the warmth of the tea

in her empty stomach, or the rough texture of Sanosuke's hands against her own.

"Good." He lifted the cup back up towards her pale mouth. "Now, have some more."

Mara tried not to blush...and failed miserably. (Good grief...I really do need to get some sleep !...) She glanced up at Sano's face and barely repressed the urge to run her fingertips over the coarse stubble on his chin and cheeks. (The man is just trying to be nice...and here I am acting like a twitter pated ninny...)

(I love it when she does that...) Sanosuke thought as Mara's face turned a delightful shade of red. He inwardly shook his head, and tried to focus on the task at hand...namely keeping the woman awake until the search parties reported that there we no more survivors to be found. "Um...I'm sure that Yahiko and the others will be back any minute. I'd be really surprised if they find anyone else."

Mara's face fell at the thought. "You're probably right. With night falling, the temperature is going to plummet." She glanced over at the ragged row of futons she'd managed to commander and sighed. "I'm going to have a hard enough time keeping my patients from going hypothermic as is." Groaning at the thought of staying up another twelve hours, Mara covered her face with her hands.

"Mara...you've got to get some sleep." Sano set the tea cup down and wondered if he'd get in too much trouble if he simply picked the slender woman up, flung her over his shoulder and marched her right back to her bedroom at the dojo. "If you keep pushing yourself like this..." He sighed and turned away, knowing that the last thing the sleep deprived physician needed was another lecture. (You're gonna get sick....) A cool hand caught him by his arm, stilling him instantly.

"Sanosuke....I want you to know..." Mara gnawed her bottom lip for a second. "...How thankful I am that you came with me..." She hesitantly slid her hand down....over the terrible scars that marred Sano's wrist...until her thin fingers laced between his, an action that caused her breath to catch in the back of her throat. "You've made this bearable." She tightened her grip, hoping her friend would understand the sentiment of her heart. "Thank you....for everything."

"Don't worry about it." Sanosuke closed his eyes and savored the smoothness of Mara's palm pressed against his own...the tender almost hesitant way her fingers lingered against the twisted scar tissue in a sweet protective gesture. (In all my life...I've never had a woman touch me like this...) He took a deep breath, trying to ignore the sudden blush that crept across his cheekbones when she protested softly and tightened her grip, amazed that such a gentle caress could unleash such powerful feelings within him. "I'd do anything to help you." He turned towards her. "I hope you know that."

A strange...almost electric sensation danced through Mara's stomach. "I do." She took an unsteady step towards him, then paused....suddenly aware that something was threatening to shift between them. "You're such a good, kind man."

Her throaty whisper nearly undid him. (I wish I was...) Sano brought his free hand up and brushed back a rebellious lock of her ebony hair, allowing his fingers to trace a path along Mara's jawbone...finding that her skin was slightly cool...and incredibly soft. (But I'm not...) Good men never struggled with the desire to touch and taste a woman still in mourning...Kind men never woke from sleep aching and erect...their bodies and minds begging for release from a woman they weren't worthy to walk beside. (....And never will be...) His eyes darkened hungrily when Mara shyly embraced him, the curves and swells of her body painfully apparent. (I want to take this woman to my bed and lose myself inside her...) He swallowed tightly against the lump in this throat. (...She treats me like a gentleman...and allows me to be her friend...)

"I...I've got stuff to take care of." He croaked, horrified at his lack of control. (Gods...Here I am standing in the middle of a damn hospital thinking about...about...) His hands clenched. (....about things that can never be...) Sano looked into Mara's beautiful, grey eyes...seeing himself reflected back from their stormy depths. (She deserves so much better....) He glanced down at her hand wrapped tightly over his own, the gold wedding band glinting dully in the subdued lantern light. (She's had so much better...) Sanosuke thought of her late husband, a man who by all accounts was everything that he wasn't....educated, wealthy, a gentleman with family, connections, his honor and reputation in tact, the type of man that Mara deserved.

"Sano?" Mara pulled away, her eyes questioning. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah. Fine" Rubbing the back of her head, Sano quickly stepped away from her. "Couldn't be better." He tried to shrug nonchalantly. "I....I'd better go check...on..." He looked around praying for a way out of his own stupidity. "...those...um...medical supplies." He spun on his heel, and nearly crashed into a slender figure carrying a mountain of freshly laundered linen.

"Dammit Kenshin, you really need to watch where you're going." Sano muttered as he strode past the smaller man.

(Look who's talking...) Kenshin thought as he tried to readjust the collapsing tower of perfectly folded bandages. His face was somber as he felt the residual traces of his departing friend's chi....realizing with a start that the ex fighter was about as emotionally stable as a sumo wrestler on thin ice. (He's not the only one whose having a difficult time this evening...) He smiled when Mara walked over and took half of the bandages from him, apologizing in her weary voice for the upset. Like Sano, the woman was a churning mixture of fatigue and confusion, desire and guilt, pent up frustration and half a dozen different emotions he didn't even want to hazard a guess at. (But unlike him...she is far more adept at controlling the outward manifestations of those feelings...)

"I hope these will last us the rest of the evening." Kenshin said blandly.

"I hope so." Mara tried not to yawn. "I guess it depends on whether or not they find anyone else in the wreckage." She turned to the shorter man and smiled. "Thank you for taking the time to wash these so carefully." Her hands ran over the expertly bleached linen. "For once, I won't dread binding an open wound with these damn fabric bandages." Mara set the bandages down on the table and carefully regarded the spry man. "You just increased the survival rate of my patients by a good twenty or thirty percent. I hope you remember that the next time Yahiko teases you about being such a laundry freak."

"I'll try to." Kenshin smiled and nodded. (It's a rare thing to run into a person who can really understand the joys and intricacies of a well washed load of laundry.) "I'm glad that I could be of assistance."

"Dr. Mogensen!" A frantic shout cut through the air. "Himura!" A young woman ran into the room, breathing raggedly. "They...they found someone...a....boy...and his mother." She bent over and tried to catch her breath. "Please...they are in....terrible pain...the boy's legs....are pinned under some wreckage..."

Mara grabbed a handful of bandages. "Make sure they don't try and move him until I get there!"

"They already have." Kenshin's sensitive ears picked up the thin wail of a child. "I'll try and control the bleeding while you prepare for surgery." He took the pile of bandages from the white faced woman and quickly sprinted towards the door. "Sano, I'm going to need your help!"

"Keep your gi on, I'm right behind you." Sanosuke grabbed a couple of blankets and followed his friend out the door.

Mara wrapped the shivering girl in a blanket, then hurried over to a bloody wash basin that serves as a prepping area. She peered down into the murky lukewarm water, her lips curling with disgust. (Dammit...they didn't replace the water !....)

"You!" Mara whirled around and pointed at a thin balding man who was picking his teeth with a dirty fingernail. "I want to you to take this outside, dump it out and get me some clean water!" She snapped. "Move it!" (How utterly typical....) Mara's eyes narrowed into angry slits as the man complained and dawdled.

Cursing a blue streak, she reached into a cannister containing the caustic mixture of lye and carbolic acid and began to ferociously scrub her raw, chapped hands. Hissing with pain as the chemicals ate at her already damaged skin, Mara continued to disinfect everything she could get her stinging hands on before Kenshin and Sanosuke returned with the boy and his mother. (They've got to hurry....We're almost to the twenty four hour mark....) It was an unspoken understanding among 19th century doctors that after that tiny window of time had passed, the mortality rates from an amputation would skyrocket...assuring the patient a slow, painful death from systemic poisoning. (I'll be damned if I let that happen...)

"Mara!" Sanosuke's urgent call brought her out of her reverie in an instant. "I need your help!" The man kicked open the door and carried in a white faced woman covered in blood. "She's not breathing!" He gently set the tiny woman on the floor, wincing as he looked down at the fixed, dull green eyes. (Dammit...I didn't make it in time...)

"Here, let me see what I can do." Mara knelt beside the still figure, checking for a pulse. "She's in full cardiac arrest. I'm going to start C.P.R." She looked up at Sano. "Watch how I do it...I'm not sure how long my arms can hold out."

"Okay." Sanosuke watched as the Mara adjusted the dying woman's head, then covered her mouth and exhaled deeply, causing the battered woman's chest to expand. (What in the name of the Gods are you doing?) His confusion grew as Mara repeated the gesture, then laced her fingers, locked her thin arms and pressed down hard between the woman's breasts. (Ah...I see...) Sano shook his head in amazement as comprehension sunk in. (She's breathing for the poor lady...and trying to get the heart pumping again....)

Mara closed her eyes and continued the compressions, desperately trying to ignore that burning sensation in her arms and back. "Come on dammit....Breathe!"Gritting her teeth she continued to try and force the woman's unresponsive body away from the abyss. "Breathe damn you...Breathe!"

"Dr. Mogensen!" Kenshin shouted as he stumbled into the room with a tiny nightmare in his arms. "I need your assistance!" He ran over to the make shift operating table and tried to find something to secure the trembling boy with. "One of his legs has been badly crushed and he's lost a dangerous amount of blood." He closed his eyes for a moment, finding that his battle hardened heart had become terribly tender since becoming a father. (The child could be Kenji's younger brother....) Kenshin took a deep breath and opened his eyes, determined to do everything in his power to ease the boy's pain.

"I told them not to move him!" Yahiko stumbled to Kenshin's side, his dark eyes wild

with grief and fury. "But they didn't listen to me....they told me to get outta the way." He bent down and tried to comfort the screaming child. "C'mon now...try and hold still." Yahiko grabbed the boy's flailing arms while Kenshin tried to clean the terrible wounds that marred the tiny, white legs. "We're trying to help you pal...just try and hold still..please!" The boy screamed shrilly when Kenshin began trying a makeshift tourniquet, then began to shake uncontrollably.

"Dammit Mara hurry!" Yahiko shouted, nearly at his wits end. "We're losing him!" His weary eyes welled up with tears when the boy screamed out again, begging for the pain to stop and his mother to come and save him. (She's not going to be able to do that...not ever again....) He had been the one to find the child in a twisted rail car. At the last possible second, the boy's mother had wrapped herself around her son, allowing her body to take the full brunt of the impact. (Even so...she still managed to hold onto you until we arrived....) Yahiko looked over at the mangled body of the boy's mother, then blinked furiously as the tears threatened to spill down his blood spattered cheeks.

"Here, let Sanosuke and me take care of this." Kenshin said softly. He reached over and patted Yahiko on the back. "Why don't you see if Dr. Mogensen needs help disinfecting the instruments." His violet eyes were tender as he watched the young man nod and quickly turn away. (Mara was right....this is too much for him to handle...) He sighed and turned his attention back to the shaking form on the table. "It's all right. " Kenshin smiled and smoothed back the boy's sweat soaked hair. "We're going to make you feel better." His hands lingered in the dark brown locks. "You're doing such a good job of being brave."

"Yeah." Yahiko's voice was gruff as staggered away from the table. "You're doing great kid." (A hell of a lot better than me...) "Mara....Kenshin needs your help!"

"Dammit, I'm kind of busy right now!" Mara panted. "Why don't you do me a favor and find me some ether and make sure the saws are clean!" She groaned and tried to finish up the latest round of chest compressions. "Sano...I can't...go much longer...." Beads of sweat poured off her face...landing on the dead woman's upturned cheeks.

"You don't need to anymore." Sanosuke said quietly as he bent over and closed the woman's unseeing eyes. "She's gone."

"No!" Mara snarled, unwilling to admit what she knew to be true. "I'm not going to lose this one...not now ..." Her breath came out in ragged gasps. "She needs to make it for her boy !"

"Mara." Sanosuke caught reached over the woman's body and grasped the doctor's shaking arms."If you don't go help Kenshin...the kid won't make it either." He pulled the trembling doctor to her feet and half dragged her away from the dead body.

"We've got a problem!" Yahiko ran up to Mara with a horrified expression.

"What sort of problem?" Sano growled.

"This." Yahiko held up an empty bottle of ether. "We're out of anesthesia."

"We can't be!" Mara croaked, her eyes going wide. "There has to be a spare bottle somewhere!" She stumbled over to the supply table and desperately looked around for anything to dull the boy's pain. "Yahiko! Run back to the clinic and see what you can find! She fumbled around for her keys. "I know that Dr. Genzai has some sake hidden under the bedpans."

"We don't have time." Kenshin said firmly. "By the time Yahiko returns the boy will be dead."

"You can't expect me to operate on a child without any anesthesia!" Mara begged. "My God! He's just a baby...I can't subject him to such pain..."

"You can, and you must." Kenshin murmured quietly. "The boy will die if you don't take the leg." He glanced down at the physician's trembling hands and sighed. (She is utterly exhausted...) "If you want...I can assist you." He took the woman's hands in his own and willed them to be still. "Unfortunately, I have experience in such matters."

Mara gasped and tried to shake her head. "I couldn't ask you to do such a thing!" She peered down at Kenshin's calm face and tried to explain. "It would cause you more pain...."Her red rimmed eyes shimmered with unshed tears. "You have been through so much...I don't want to make things worse..." (Your sanity has been such a hard won thing...Kaoru would kill me if I jeopardized your mind any more than I already have....)

"I'll be fine." Kenshin managed, deeply touched that the stern woman was so concerned about his well being. "This is different." (Instead of causing the pain..I am trying to ease it.) "Let me help you...as you have helped me." A rare, real smile tugged at the corner of mouth. "Together, we will manage to get through this."

Mara could only nod her thanks. She followed the red haired man back to the table, steeling herself for what was about to happen. (He's right...I have to do this...) A single tear escaped the bounds of her black lashes and fell gracelessly against her white cheek. (Oh no....he looks like Kenji !....) She groaned and bent down beside the hysterical child, whispering soft words of reassurance and kissing the boy on his clammy forehead.

"Please try and understand." Mara said sadly as she picked up a sharp curved knife. "We have to do this to make you feel better." Her hands shook slightly as she placed the cutting instrument a couple of inches above the sobbing child's knee.

(Sorry Kid....) Sano tightened his grip on the boy's shuddering torso, then slammed his eyes shut as the curved blade bit into skin and the room erupted into anguished screams.

When night finally came, it settled on the weather beaten warehouse like a midnight

shroud...covering the ice patches and snow drifts with an eerie stillness that was somehow more disconcerting that the howling wind and pain soaked whimpers that filtered up into the winter tainted sky. This darkness was pitiless and cold, an icy void that denied the faintest hint of softness and whispered of plummeting temperatures and frost bite.

Still, there were some that braved the cold and gloom, finding that the bone chilling wind and abandoned streets were far preferable to the garish lamplight of the hospital ward...and mercifully quieter. One man....a tall rangy shape amid the twisting shadows, ignored the winter storm all together, focusing instead on the sound of his fists biting into tree bark and the crisp scent of clotting blood and frozen tree sap intermingling.

"Dammit! " Sano snarled as he slumped down against the battered maple tree, too exhausted to throw another punch...too upset to go back inside and face the unnatural sight of a legless child. "What a fucked up mess!" He shook his head angrily, trying to forget the sound of the boy's heart rending screams. (How can they stand it?) He angrily kicked at a frozen patch of dirty snow, focusing on the pain in his hand instead of the grief and anger in his heart and mind. (No wonder so many doctors are heavy drinkers....) Sano swore again, almost wishing for the oblivion of a sake induced stupor. (They do it to keep from going insane...) A sudden sound brought him out of his reverie, reminding him sharply that there was another man struggling with what had just happened.

"Hey!" Sano stood and walked over to where Yahiko was sitting hunched over on the stairs. "You gonna be okay?" He knelt beside the younger man and tried to think of some wise or comforting words to help ease the teenager's embarrassment. "Don't worry about the whole puking bit. From what Mara told me...it happens all the time."

Yahiko covered his face with his hands and groaned. "You guys didn't." He swallowed hard against the bile in his throat and tried not to start bawling. "Gods...Mara was right about me. I shouldn't have come." Something that sounded suspiciously like a sob drifted between his tightly clenched fingers. "I couldn't help it...seeing that poor kid screaming...and the blood and..."

"You did just fine." Sanosuke sat down beside the unusually pale teenager. "I nearly lost my dinner a couple of times myself." He tousled Yahiko's hair. "We all had a hard time in there. Mara and Kenshin are just really good at hiding it." His face grew somber as he recalled the steely look in Mara's eyes as she cut into the boy's trembling skin and the terrible gentleness in Kenshin's thin hands as he effortlessly sawed through bone. (They didn't even blink...) "You have to remember that both of them are trained to handle shit like that." He rubbed the back of his head and sighed, amazed that two of the gentlest people that he knew were made of such stern stuff. "You did your best...that's all that matters." Sano nudged Yahiko in the ribs. "So buck up! We still have work to do." Cursing as his tired legs protested the change in position, Sanosuke started back inside the warehouse, then paused when he realized that Yahiko was actually trying to smile for the first time that evening. (I wonder what brought that on ?)

"So, are you gonna tell me what's so damn funny?"

Yahiko winced as he tried to stand up. "You are." He ignored the pain in his aching feet and walked over to the taller man, thankful for a chance to think about something other than the little boy he'd found. "If I didn't know better, I'd say that a certain someone has been rubbing off on you."

"Huh?" Sano's eyes widened.

"Moron." Yahiko shook his head and almost chuckled. "I'm talking about Mara. She's good for you." He glanced over at the tall man, then rubbed his blood spattered hands together in an attempt to stay warm. "Who knows, if you keep hanging around her, you might just end up a respectable member of society after all."

Sanosuke snorted. "Don't hold your breath." A spattering of airborne snow swirled around the two sleep deprived men, coating their hair and lashes with a whisper of white. "I've never wanted to fit in that way....it would be too damn boring." He took a deep breath, letting the frigid air fill his lungs and invigorate his sleepy mind. "Besides, Mara doesn't care...so why should I bother?"

"Because other people do." Yahiko said quietly.

"What in the hell is that supposed to mean?" Sanosuke's eyes narrowed.

"It means that people have begun to notice that the two of you are...well...close." Yahiko tried to flick of a patch of clotted blood off his gi, then gave up and turned towards his friend. "People are talking...and you wouldn't like what they have to say."

"And what exactly are people saying ?" Sano's voice was dangerously soft.

"Um...well...you know." Yahiko shrugged and tried to think a way out of the hole he'd dug for himself. (Tsubame was right....I should have kept my dumb mouth shut about this....) He risked a quick peek up at the ex-fighter and repressed the urge to high tail it back into the relative safety of the hospital. "That...you and she...are..."

"Lovers?"

Yahiko blushed. "Yeah, something like that."

"They're wrong." Sano said tightly, trying to keep his temper in check. "She is my friend...nothing more....nothing less." (And I intend to keep it that way...even if it kills me...) He clenched his aching hand and sighed. "I know that I have a really shitty reputation....and to be honest with ya, I deserve it. The Gods know that I've make enough stupid mistakes to last a thousand lifetimes." (You don't grow up on the streets and walk away smelling like jasmine blossoms..) "But I swear on all I hold dear...on Captain Sagara's memory...that I've never treated Mara with anything but the utmost respect." Sanosuke shivered as the wind began to moan through the barren tree branches. "She deserves no less."

"You love her." Yahiko said quietly, his dark eyes boring into the older man with sudden understanding.

For a heartbeat, Sanosuke's wind chilled features betrayed him, allowing a split second glimpse into his troubled mind and heart. Then, just as quickly, his face settled into a hard mask, replacing his naked vulnerability with a calloused facade of disinterest. Sano then turned and walked towards the hospital door, allowing the swirling eddies of snow and ice to envelop him in an icy embrace. "Look pal, if you want to freeze your ass off out here, be my guest. I'm gonna go and check on that kid." He roughly pulled the door open, not sparing a glance back at his friend.

(That's what I thought...) Yahiko sighed as he followed the man inside. For several minutes, neither man spoke, each intent of sorting out their respective emotions internally. Yahiko watched as Sano helped prob up an enfeebled old woman and gently covered her with an extra blanket, then carefully smoothed back the snarled white locks that fell in disarray around her bruised little face. Sanosuke listened as the teenager tried to comfort a grieving father, amazed at wisdom and compassion he heard in the boy's unsteady voice. (No...not a boy...) His mouth twisted up into a proud smile when Yahiko gave up speaking and simply held the weeping figure. (He's a man now...and a damn good one...)

Eventually, the two men found themselves in a dark corner of the hospital, each gazing down at the pale, stillness of a motherless boy...and the tired, somber pair that attended him.

"How's the little guy doing?" Sanosuke whispered, praying that his deep voice wouldn't wake the child from his shock induced sleep. His face fell when Mara refused to answer...seeing in her sorrowful demeanor the unspoken answer to his query.

"For the moment, he's resting peacefully." Kenshin winced as he stood, his aching knees throbbing from the cold. " Dr. Mogensen assures me that he is in a very deep form of sleep and is unaware of his surrounding and blessedly free from pain." He carefully watched Yahiko's reaction to the news, hoping that his words brought a token of comfort to the younger man. "He's going to die...isn't he?" Yahiko's tone was bitter.

"I'm a afraid that's a distinct possibility." Mara walked over and put her hand on his shoulder. "But now instead of being alone, cold and in pain...he's warm and safe."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Mara sighed and shook her head. "Yahiko, there isn't anything else I can do for the boy. If it wasn't for Kenshin's quick thinking, he'd already be dead." She turned towards the red headed man and regarded him carefully. "Have you ever considered becoming a doctor?"

"What?" Kenshin gaped and awkwardly plucked at a loose thread on his gi. "Honestly, Dr. Mogensen...quit being ridiculous, of course I haven't." He glanced over at weary woman and shrugged, uncomfortable with the sudden attention.

"That's a damn shame." Mara said quietly. "Because in all my life I have never seen a man who was more suited to the task than you are." She stood there for a moment, then put her trembling hands to her side and bowed deeply. "Thank you for helping me. I am deeply in your debt."

Kenshin just stood there, too shocked to return the gesture. In the year that he had known Mara, he had only seen her bow a couple of times...and then with extreme reluctance. He watched Sano's mouth drop open in amazement when the black haired woman repeated the ritual, thanking each of them in turn, her husky voice whispering out the formal statement of extreme gratitude.

"You..you don't need to do that!" Yahiko sputtered. "I didn't do anything." His dark eyes widened with amazement when Mara reached out and cupped his chin. "Besides..I...well...you know...." He dropped his eyes, still ashamed that he'd vomited when the boy's amputated leg had fallen to the floor..

"I underestimated you when I called you a child.." She said softly. "You are one of the strongest, best men that I have ever had the honor to work with. I hope that in the future, you would be willing to assist me if the need arises." Mara's expression was tender as she regarded the pale eighteen year old. "You know, the first time I assisted in an operation, I passed right out on the floor. It took two nurses twenty minutes to revive me."

"Really?" Yahiko wondered.

"Really." Mara tweaked the boy's nose. "So quit acting like a twit."

"See?" Sano smirked. "I told you it was no big deal."

"You should really listen to what Sanosuke has to say." Mara winked at the ex-gangster. "He really is a wise man."

"Yeah, mabey about some things." Yahiko conceded. He looked up at the tall doctor with her pretty black hair and wise grey eyes...then over at Sanosuke. "But when it comes to what really matters...he's still an idiot."

"Hey!" Sano growled. "Quit calling me that!"

"Then quit acting like one." Yahiko snipped.

"Would you two please shut the hell up?" Mara hissed in exasperation.

"Now..now.." Kenshin tried to soothe things down. "Why don't you two go home and get some sleep. Dr. Mogensen and I will be back..."

"Oh, no you don't." Mara shook her head emphatically. "You're going with them. Kaoru and Kenji will be worried sick if you don't make it home in time for dinner."

"Who's gonna stay and take care of you then?" Yahiko asked in between yawns.

"I can take care of myself." Mara muttered as she prodded the three reluctant men towards the entrance. (I've been doing it for a very long time...) "Now, if I catch any of you within twenty feet of this hospital, there will be hell to pay. Do I make myself clear?" She was about to bid them goodbye, when her sharp eyes caught sight of Sano's bleeding knuckles.

"What on Earth happened to your hand?" Mara gasped. "Please don't tell me you got in a fight."

Sano tried to shrug nonchalantly. "It's no big deal." He inwardly winced when her steel tinted eyes darkened with what he assumed was anger. (Hell, who am I kidding....she has every right to be pissed...)

"It is to me." Mara whispered wearily. "Come here. Let me get it wrapped up before you walk home." She stumbled over to the supply table and selected a thing length of linen and a near empty bottle of iodine. "You've been exposed to who knows what in this miserable excuse for a hospital and I don't want infection setting in."

Sanosuke hesitated for a second, then sighed and walked over to where Mara was standing. "Look babe, you don't need to take care of this." He held perfectly still as Mara began to examine his bruised knuckles, half expecting a sharp rebuke from the woman when he flinched as her finger ran over his broken skin. "I'm sorry..." The apology died on his lips when he realized that instead of pulling away, she had simply reversed positions and was carefully touching his scarred hand, her mouth paling as she ran her finger over his split knuckle, lingering over the greenish, black bruise that was blossoming on the copper colored skin around his thumb.

"What happened?" Mara whispered half to herself as she took in the full extent of damage to the man's bone and muscle structure. (It's a miracle that he can even move it...let alone hold anything...)

"I just had a run in with a tree." Sano muttered self- consciously.

"No, that's not what I'm talking about." Mara shook her head slightly, and ran her finger over a thick keltoid scar that twisted and snaked across the man's hand. "Yahiko told me that you and Kenshin had a fight with some loon that wore a bunch of bandages." She frowned as her finger's detected several badly fused break lines in his wrist bones and wondered why no one had taken the time to properly set them. "Is he the one..." Mara looked up hesitantly and gnawed her bottom lip, wondering whether or not she should continue. "...the one that did this to you?"

Sanosuke nodded, then looked away for a second, remembering the sickening sensation of bones breaking and ligaments tearing. His hand clenched tightly....painfully, the old wounds having never properly healed, leaving it scarred, partially paralyzed. He glanced down, frowning at the dull ache that radiated from his wrist, the bands of pale scar tissue that contrasted sharply with his tanned skin, the unnatural angle of his second and third fingers.

"Yup, this is my own personal souvenir from Shishio Makato." He smirked at the almost angry expression that settled on the young doctor's face. "The bastard did a real number on it didn't he?" Sano chuckled, resorting to his usual sarcasm to hide his lingering embarrassment over his disfigured hand.

"Yes he did." Mara acknowledged quietly, painfully aware that her scrutiny was making Sanosuke uncomfortable. "But if I remember the story right, you still managed to carry Kenshin out of that nightmarish place, despite your injuries." She looked over Sano and smiled slightly at the rosy blush creeping up the man's cheeks. "What you did was admirable...and very brave. He's lucky to have you for a friend."

"It's really no big deal." Sano gruffly replied, thankful that his voice sounded steady.

"Yes it is." Mara protested slightly, still upset that anyone could be malicious enough to intentionally inflict such damage on another human being. She held up Sanosuke's hand and pointed to the split middle knuckle. "The next time you're upset...come talk to me instead of beating the hell out of some poor maple tree. Okay?"

"Aren't you going to chew me out?" Sano asked quietly, still waiting for the inevitable lecture he assumed was coming. It had been several seconds and not so much as "What were you thinking?" had escaped her lips. (Megumi would have read me the riot act for being so careless !)

"No. Why would I do a stupid thing like that?" Mara frowned, obviously annoyed that he had even asked the question. She ignored the surprised look on his face and turned her attention back to his hand.

In moments, the offending cut was cleaned, disinfected and bandaged, despite Sano's continued protests that he was fine. He glanced over at Kenshin and Yahiko, hoping that they weren't weren't staring as she worked on his hand, massaging the stiff muscles, then sighed and closed his eyes when she threaded her fingers through his own and pulled gently, allowing atrophied tendons to relax fractionally, giving him a measure of peace, a short respite from the near constant pain that he had lived with for years. (Oh who cares....let em watch....)

"I thought she wanted us to get out of here." Yahiko whispered.

"Hush." Kenshin chided. "This is more important." He pushed the younger man towards the door. (For once...let the man have the dignity he deserves...)

(I don't understand...) The thought drifted across Sano's mind as Mara massaged his wrist bones, the ever present ache slowly dissolving under the tiny, repetitive circles. (She's half dead with exhaustion...and still insists on taking the time to fix me up....) Groaning softly as she increased the pressure, Sanosuke leaned back and opened his eyelids slightly, his lashes allowing him to watch her without it seeming too obvious. (Her hands...are so beautiful....) It was the only word that adequately described the alabaster hued skin and the long tapered fingers ending in softly shaped nails framed by perfect little half moons. Even cracked and sore from a mixture of overwork and the caustic chemical used for disinfection, these were the hands of a lady....soft, refined, delicate.....(So utterly unlike mine...)

"There...that should take care of you for a while." Mara yawned.

"Thanks." Sano gingerly rubbed his bandaged hand, amazed at how much better it felt. "I owe you one Doc."

"No problem...that's what I'm here for." Another yawn nearly dislocated her jaw. "Though I'd appreciate it if you'd keep an eye on those two when you get back to the dojo." Mara peeked over Sano's shoulder at Kenshin and Yahiko. "I'm worried that they're going to have a rough time."

"Sure thing." (They're not the only ones who will have trouble sleeping tonight....) Sano thought darkly. He regarded the pale woman before him, and again fought the urge to drag her home with them. (She'd kick my ass if I tried...) "Don't stay too long. Okay?"

"I'll be home as soon as I can. Now, get out of here. I have work to do." Mara said half seriously.

"Heartless woman." Sano grinned as he walked away.

"Damn straight." Mara waved as the three men departed, then turned and walked unsteadily back towards the darkened corner of the hospital where the tiny boy was sleeping, steeling herself for one final battle she knew she couldn't hope to win.

"Dr. Mogensen." A thin police officer stepped purposefully in her path, holding out a pile of paperwork. "I've been instructed to assist you in filling out these mortality reports. If you will be so kind as to dictate the pertinent information to me...."

"I can fill out the damn paperwork myself." Mara snapped as she snatched the offending documents. She glared down angrily at the mountain of morbid facts and figures and fought the urge to cram the papers down the officer's tight little throat.

"How interesting. I had no idea you were so accomplished." The officer said dryly. "Most foreigners are illiterate....to say nothing of being able to write." He bent leaned over and watched the woman form the intricate kanji with the ease of a native writer.

"You're easily impressed." Mara said flatly as she jotted the time of each fatality. (Foreigner my ass....I was born on the Marine base in Okinawa and lived here till I was fifteen...) Her tired face softened for a second as she thought of those happy times with her stern drill sergeant of a father and the Japanese housekeeper who had lovingly taught a gangly girl to speak and read the Japanese language. (Who thought I would have ever used such beautiful characters to depict such an ugly accident?...) "Now...please excuse me...I have patients to attend to."

Resisting the urge to flip the man off, Mara stomped past the open mouthed officer and over to where the struggling boy lay sleeping fitfully. (I've got to stay awake.....got to keep and eye....on....him....) Fighting against a wave of fatigue, Mara took a deep breath...and tried to focus on filling out the pile of paperwork that the police had been clamoring for. (Shit....I've always hated messing with legalities...). Her mouth tightened into a painful grimace as she ran her finger along the pale blue binding, trying not to think about how blue covered papers invariably brought sorrow....(Stop!) Shaking her head sharply in an effort to stop that particular train of thought, she grabbed her heavy lacquered pen and began to scribble furiously. (I can't....fall....asleep...not now....)

A tremor ran through her mind as she attempted to keep both the horrors of her surroundings at bay as well as suppress the clamoring memories that were threatening to overthrow her tenuous hold on her sanity and sent her falling helplessly into a nightmare of her own making. (I....can't....) Grey hued eyes fluttered shut, allowing a weary mind to paint a new mental picture...one that wouldn't exist for over a century...one that she could never forget.

New York City 2003

"Okay....who ordered the double Philly with extra cheese and peppers?" Mara held up a large greasy bag.

"Yo!" Mario Gondoza called, his thin face lighting up with hunger. "Toss it here babe!"

"It's not fair!" Lashondra Williams protested sourly. "You weigh what....120?"

"128 !" The small man patted his washboard stomach proudly. "I another gained four pounds over the holidays!" He caught the heavy sandwich and sniffed deeply. "Ahhh!"

"Like I said" Lashondra sighed she settled down to munch on a "veggie delight" minus the mayo and cheese. "It's just not fair!"

Mara grinned at the usual banter and fished out her own chicken salad sandwich. She pulled back the wrapper and started devouring the greasy concoction with gusto. (I've not had a bite to eat since breakfast...) If there was one thing that Mara Mogensen-Reynolds loved it was a snarfing a cholesterol ridden concoction with her best friends on a Saturday night. (I don't know what I'd do without these guys....especially since....) She pursed her lips, determined not to think about her husband.

"So....how are the morbidity tables looking for this quarter?"

Gondoza took an enormous bite and shook his head. "Up fifteen perfect." He picked a burnt pepper out of his teeth and grimaced. "Those administrative assholes over at County General put a TB case in with our HIV population again."

"Bastards just won't listen." Lashondra viciously stabbed a stripped straw into her diet Coke. "We tell em that those poor souls can't fight off cold....let alone a mutated strain of TB that's resistant to most of our antibiotics!"

"They knew exactly what would happen and you know it." Okita Yukishiro murmured. He pointed to his black T shirt that had the caption "TRUST NO-ONE!" emblazoned across it. "This is just the beginning....wait and see." His eyes glowered menacingly behind his brightly dyed hair. "Soon they'll be coming for us....we know too much."

Mara snorted and took a swig of her Dr. Pepper. "Right. The next thing you'll be telling us is that there's some underground cult that's using the microwave oven over at the 7-11 to try and control the weather." She put her drink down and grinned when the young phlebotomist nodded mysteriously . "I liked your sponge migration theory....whatever happened to them?"

"They're still migrating." Yukishiro huffed as he carefully checked his food for any signs of tampering. "Wait and see...." It was his favorite one liner.

"Peter, Paul and Mary!" Lashondra nudged him with her much larger fist. "You are one paranoid little bugger!" She guffawed as her "nudge" sent the diminutive man flying off his chair. "All right baby....I'm waiting!"

Gondoza cackled at the interplay....then scrammed the rest of his sandwich into his mouth. "You two....just give it up and go get a room!" He barely dodged an massive right hook (courtesy of Lashondra), then yelped as his bag of cheesy puffs were stolen (courtesy of Yukishiro) . In seconds, Gondoza and Yukishiro were chasing each other up and down the doctor's lounge, filling the air with explenitives in English, Japanese and Italian as they bounded over the tables and chairs, each intent on humiliating the other.

"All right Honey....spill it." Lashondra leaned back in her chair and regarded her pale friend with the trained eye of a clinical psychologist. She could read Mara like a map and knew that the tall woman was seriously upset about something. (10 bucks it's about her asshole of a husband....)

"It's Erik." Mara picked at a hangnail, then sighed and tightly folded her arms across her chest. "You were right...." She dropped her head, unable to continue.

Lashondra's face darkened with anger. (So you finally found out that he's been fooling around...sorry babe, I saw that one coming a mile away....) Her dark brown eyes were sad as she regarded her silent friend, knowing that unlike most women, Mara would squarely place the blame for her husband's adultery on herself. "So what are you going to do about it?"

Mara looked up and shrugged. "I don't know." She took another sip of her drink, then gave up. "It's not like I've been exactly the best wife in the world..."

"Bullshit!" Lashondra softly thundered. "You keep talking like that girlfriend, and I'm liable to go postal on you!" She slammed her fist into the table and shook her head. "I know you're not perfect...and that you put in way too many hours here with us. But that doesn't excuse the shitty way he treats you...and it certainly doesn't justify his screwing another woman behind your back."

Mara winced. (Thank you for reminding me....) She wearily rubbed her eyes and looked up at the ceiling...hoping that she could keep her threatening tears at bay. "He told me that he wasn't happy....that I couldn't satisfy him the way he needed." Her voice cracked. "He told me that he doesn't want me anymore."

"Oh Baby, I'm sorry..." Lashondra wrapped her thick arms around her thin friend and gave the quietly sobbing woman a big (albeit very gentle) hug. She sighed and looked around the small cramped room that served as a makeshift cafeteria and sleeping lounge for the chronically understaffed hospital personnel. "Is that why you've been spending the night here for the past two weeks?"

Mara nodded. "I can't....sleep in our bed...." She smiled wanly at her colleague. "That's where I found Erik and Cami..."

"Cami?"

"His paralegal." Mara smirked. "Just turned 19 last month. Would you believe I took her to lunch for her birthday?"

"Too bad the little bitch didn't choke!" Lashondra hissed.

"Too bad you didn't." Both women looked up in disbelief.

"Erik?" Mara whispered, her eyes wide. "What...what are you doing here?" She shakily stood and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Looking for you." Erik snapped as he put his briefcase down on the table. "I don't know why I bothered buying you a cell phone...you never answer the damn thing!"

"That's because your wife works in a hospital!" Gondoza growled as he sauntered over towards Mara. "They have an electromagnetic field that can disrupt lifesaving equipment." He popped a hard won cheesy puff in his mouth and glared at the taller man. "Not that you remotely care..."

(You're right...I don't!)Erik snorted and pulled out a beige folder. "Well dear, here you go." He handed it to Mara. "You'll find that the provisions I've extended are very reasonable considering the shit I've had to put up with from you."

"Provisions?" Mara's hands shook as she opened the folder and gazed down at a blue bound set of legal length papers. (Oh God....please don't let it be.....) She lifted the blank page and peered down at the formal petition for divorce. "Erik, I don't understand...why are you doing this?" Mara motioned to the half filled lounge. "You could have at least had the decency to give this to me in the privacy of my office!"

"You could have had the decency to keep your ugly mouth shut regarding our private affairs!" Erik spat, his face reddening with anger. "Don't tell me that you and that fat bitch were talking about one of your patients."

"Watch your mouth boy, or this "fat bitch" will drop kick your piddly little white butt across the room." Lashondra grinned like a madwoman and flexed one rather impressive bicep. "Believe me asshole, nothing would make me happier!"

"And nothing would make me happier that to slap this shitty little excuse for a hospital with a class action suit." Erik snipped as he fished out a pen and handed it to his wife. "Just sign the damn thing."

"No!" Yukishiro snatched the pen away from Mara. "That just what he wants you to do." He warily eyed the enraged attorney. "Trust me Doc, you want someone else to look it over just in case he's trying to screw you. I've read all about the legal loopholes that can ruin a person's life." His mouth twisted into an ironic smile. "That's how the government keeps cattle mutilations and UFO sightings repressed."

"I don't believe this!" Erik roared. "These are the people you chose over me! You'd rather spend your time with this bunch of idiots than be with your own husband!" He found another pen and chucked it at her. "Now sign the damn papers and let me get the hell out of here!"

Mara numbly stared at the lacquered pen, unaware that Gondoza had joined the fray, adding injury to insult by spraying a fine mist of half chewed cheesy puffs over her husband's expensive suit. (He's right....I did choose them over him....) She chocked back a sob and tried to read the small legal print, finding to her horror that Erik had not gone with the standard "irreconcilable differences" as the reason for requesting the divorce.

"Erik...this isn't fair!"

"What? Don't tell me you're upset about the "Emotional Cruelty" clause?" Erik looked down at his wife's tear stained face and shrugged his shoulder's. "What else would you call it Mara? I never see you, you won't return my calls..." He brushed his lapel and glared over at Gondoza. " Dammit, how long has it been since we even tried to talk....since we even shared the same bed?" His face distorted with fury when Lashondra loudly reminded just why his wife was reluctant to sleep with him. "You even have the gall to gossip about me behind my back!" He hatefully glared at rag tag group, knowing that they'd somehow managed to brainwash Mara into not being the woman he wanted her to be. (She'd rather be with a stupid Japanese punk, a fat, bossy black woman and a shrimpy, little Italian bastard that's going to get one hell of a dry cleaning bill.....Fine! I've already found someone better....)

"I'm sorry!" Mara whispered in a half dead voice. "I just needed someone to talk to." She looked up at her husband and gnawed at her bottom lip, trying not to start crying. "You're right...I have been really busy. But you've got to understand...we've had some serious problems here...all of our AIDS patients were exposed to a nasty strain of TB." Her eyes filled with tears. "They're all dying...we had to try something to try and save them...." (I needed to do at least one thing right....)

"You should have spent time trying to save your marriage!" There was no pity in his voice, only resigned hurt and anger. "Mara, you're too wrapped up in your career to give a shit about your me...or the life we could have had together." He smiled thinly and took of his wedding ring and put it into his pocket. "Luckily for me I finally found a woman that really appreciates all that I'm willing to do for her. A woman that actually deserves me."

"Honey?" All eyes turned as a blond woman poked her perfectly made up face into the lounge. Her delicate features screwed up with distaste as she took in the heavily stained Formica counter tops and the CDC posters that graphically depicted a host of rather nasty diseases. (Eww....it smells funny in here!) She sniffed and grimaced. (Cheesy puffs.....ugh...) Cami's blue eyes lit up when she saw the current object of her affection. "Erik....what's taking so long?" She twisted the hem of her blouse and demurely smiled. "I was getting worried about you."

Lashondra went ballistic. "You actually had the balls to bring that skank in with you?" She stood up and put her hands on her ample hips. "Boy, you just royally screwed yourself in the ass! Mara can countersue you on grounds of adultery....by the time she's done you'll be living in a cardboard box!"

"I thought I told you to stay in the car!" Erik hissed.

"Oh, Baby...." Cami's pert little mouth trembled. "Don't be mad at me....I just wanted to make sure you were okay." She shyly nestled up against her lover and sniffled. "Don't be grumpy. I promise I'll make it up to you...."

"BEEP!" "BEEP!" "BEEP!" The lounge suddenly went mad with as everyone's pagers began wildly chirping. Mara glanced at hers and jumped up.

"SECURITY TO FLOOR THREE.....ALL SECURITY PERSONNEL PLEASE REPORT TO FLOOR THREE....WE HAVE A CODE 72 IN PROGRESS....REPEAT WE HAVE A CODE 72 IN PROGRESS..." Lashondra blanched and started tearing towards the door, closely followed by Yukishiro and Gondoza.

"What's going on?" Cami asked as she covered her ears. "What's a code 72?"

"It means you two need to stay right where you are!" Mara snapped as she ran out the door.

"Mara wait!" Erik yelled and angrily picked up the paperwork. "I need you to sign these!"

Lincoln Memorial Hospital Floor Three

It was quiet....way too quiet. (Hell, half of the patient's in here are chronic TB cases....) Mara crouched down as the elevator opened and carefully listened to the muted sounds that drifted down the deserted hospital corridors.

"Lashondra?" She whispered as softly as she was able, hoping like hell it wouldn't startle the armed patient. One of the hazards of being a TB specialist was the patients she worked with. Tuberculosis was a disease that delighted in poverty and neglect, cropping up among the poorest denizens of New York's slums. The majority of her patients were homeless men, three quarters of whom were also mentally ill, unable to exist in a single reality for more than a few heartbreaking moments. It made treatment of the bacteria nearly impossible until the disease had become very advanced, robbing the men of their vitality , turning strong bodies into emaciated skeletons that coughed up ruby red blood with every pain filled breath.

"Right over here babe." Mara relaxed slightly when she heard her friend's husky Bronx accent. She crept in the direction of the woman's voice, then started when she saw who the armed man was. (Oh, Terrence....) He was in his mid-fifties, over six feet tall and weighing less than 140 pounds. His naturally sharp mind had been destroyed by years of rampant drug abuse, causing him to always refer to himself in the third person, the condition aggravating his severe schizophrenia. (He could do anything....) She quickly looked around the empty halls (Where in the hell is security?)

"Terrence, do you remember who I am?" Mara smiled when he nodded and took a small step forward. "That's good." She took another step forward and smiled gently. "I know you're having a rough time....let's talk about it and see what we can do to make you feel better."

"Terrence is hearing them again!" The thin man shrieked, his bloodshot eyes roving over the nearly deserted hallway. "They came back! They're hunting Terrence!" He jerked his head towards the nearby psychologist and raised the 9mm handgun until it was level with her chest. "You said they would go away!"

"Did you take your meds like I told you to?" Lashondra quietly asked. (Shit...he's having visual and auditory hallucinations....) Her well trained eyes ran over the emaciated man's body, finally resting on the fresh track marks that ran up the entire length of both arms. "Or did you sell them for drug money?"

"Terrence sold them." The man frowned like a little child, his expression heartbroken and sad. "Terrence needed it...." He started shaking again and closed his eyes. "They were hurting Terrence...always hurting Terrence...."

"I know baby." Lashondra sighed. "Why don't we get you on some nice Methadone. That'll take care of your withdrawal symptoms. Then as soon as you're feeling a little better we'll get you back on your anti-psychotic medication for the schizophrenia" She took a hesitant step forward and nodded her head slightly. "I want to help you Terrence, but you have to put that gun down."

"No!" The gangly man screamed and wildly pointed his weapon at a terrified secretary. "Get it now!" He shuddered uncontrollably, then covered his head and screamed again, as the unseen things that had plagued him since childhood attacked.

"Terrence!" Mara called out, deliberately lowering her voice until it was no more than a low, sweet croon. "We're going to order you some Methadone. It should be here in a few minutes." She looked at Lashondra and nodded slightly. "Dr. Williams and I are here to help you. "

"You're the TB doc..." Terrence squinted his eyes and took a hesitant step towards the tall woman. "You and Terrence are friends?"

"That's right." Mara smiled. "We're friends..." She held out her hands in an attempt to ease the shaking man's fears. "Remember when you came to my office and had some tea?"

"Stuff tasted like shit..." The man's scarred face crinkled up with distaste.

"Yes, I suppose it did." Mara conceded. "But the cookies weren't too bad were they?"

"Terrence liked them." He smiled a little and took another step towards her. "Can we have some more?" That had been such a nice day for him, sitting in a warm office with the pretty doctor...eating cookie after cookie. (She likes Terrence....she trusts Terrence....)

Mara turned to the teary faced secretary that her patient had been menacing. "Would you please run to my office and grab a bag of Keebler fudge stripes?" She winked at Terrence. "Those are your favorites...right?"

"Terrence likes those a lot." He shyly smiled at the woman, the sweetness of his expression at terrible odds with the loaded weapon in his shaking hands. "Terrence likes you a lot too."

Mara's smile widened. "I like you too Terrence." She slowly walked towards the taller man. "That's why I want to help you." Her hands moved in an encompassing gesture. "We all want yo make you feel better."

The sick man rocked back and forth, his large dark hands twisting the soiled fabric of his street clothes. "Terrence fucked up Doc." He held out his arms and started sobbing. "Terrence tried to stay clean...honest to John." His body twitched violently as the excruciating withdrawal tremors continued to rip through his weak frame. "But they came back....!" Terrence looked wildly around the room, his bleary eyes radiating white hot insanity as he fired towards a flickering flourescent light. "Terrence won't let them!" He twirled around and aimed the weapon right back at Lashondra. "She said they's go away! She lied to Terrence!"

"No..." Mara whispered sadly. "Dr Williams did her best to keep them away from you." She took another step forward, then froze as he pressed the gun barrel against her throat. "We all are trying to help you Terrence. You are important to us....we won't give up on you." Her throat tightened as she watched the trigger finger twitch erratically. "I won't give up on you."

"You won't let them hurt Terrence?" The man's voice was laced with such hope...such fear. "They're hungry...that they are." He trembled violently as he craned his head up at the ceiling, whimpering softly as the imagined mind wraiths twirled above him, whispering all sorts of silent agonies. It had been like this since he'd been thirteen...a world that constantly melted into a nightmare of sight and sound, leaving him desolate in his madness, unable to cope with the day to day stimuli that his mother and sister took for granted. "They're always hungry..."

Mara shuddered as her patient slowly removed the gun from her throat. "We won't let them hurt you this time. Will we Dr. Williams?"

"Hell no!" Lashondra shook her head and made a fist. "I'll knock out anybody that tries to mess with my man." She carefully walked towards Terrence. "How does that sound?"

"It sounds....good." He smiled for the second time and slowly lowered his weapon onto the counter.

"Speaking of good things..." Mara looked towards the elevator and smiled. (Either security is here or my fudge striped cookies have arrived....) She glanced over at the now slightly relaxed man and sighed with relief (...at least this is finally under control....)

The elevator opened. Mara groaned and shut her eyes. (Oh, Shit. )

"I was talking to you dammit!" Erik yelled as he stormed out of the elevator, Cami Henderson and her coordinating hand bag in tow. "Now quit being stubborn and sign the damn papers so we can leave this godforsaken hospital!"

"Erik!" Mara frantically shook her head and motioned that he stay back. "This is not a good time to talk." She slightly tilted her head towards Terrence. "I'm having an important discussion with my friend."

"Her friend is very sick." Lashondra said softly. "You need to turn around right now." (Dammit man....twitch the wrong way and you and your eye candy are gonna be smeared across the back wall...)

"Doc?" Terrence nervously ran his hands through his matted hair. "Talk to me Doc, who's this guy?" He bared his yellowing teeth and slightly crouched down, feeding off of the blond man's negative emotion like it was a living thing. "If he's a cop, I'm gonna bust his sorry ass!"

"He's not a police officer." Mara murmured soothingly. "This man is my husband, Terrence." She smiled and pointed to her irrate spouse. "His name is Erik. He's a very nice person."

"What in the hell are you blathering about?" Erik snarled as he advanced on the couple. "Dammit Mara, quit fooling around with that ...."

"BANG!"

Erik staggered as something slammed into his stomach and out his back. (What the hell?)

He looked down, unable to comprehend why his legs had suddenly become rubbery and weak, his eyes becoming round with horror as he watched a flower shaped bloodstain blossom right in the middle of his brand new Arrow shirt. (I've...been....shot....!....) The thought was somehow infuriating, an act that caused his volcanic temper to ignite.

"You stupid son of a ....."

"BANG!"

This time he fell...hard against the unforgiving tile floor. (He....shot....me....again....!....) Erik tried to stand back up....then collapsed against the cool green tile. Things were starting to become blurry...the edges around solid objects becoming soft, the high pitched screams coming from his all around him dwindling to a faint buzzing sound in the back of his mind. He swallowed reflexively as hot, bitter liquid bubbled up in his throat...then sighed and simply let the crimson gore run out of his mouth (Why the hell not....my shirt's already in pretty bad shape....) Erik tried to take a deep breath as the sounds of screaming intensified....then sighed again when he found that breathing took too much work. (Aw, screw it....) His blue eyes glinted with resignation as he watched the wild haired man aim the gun at him again, then slowly closed in preparation, barely registering the feeling of another person throwing her body atop his.

"BANG!"

It was different this time....the jolt not quite as powerful. (Perhaps he missed?) Erik forced his heavy eyelids to open again. (Mara?) She was lying on top of him, her strong arms cradling his head against her chest. He sighed then, remembering a different time.....(She used to so hold me like this.....)....a time when he knew that his wife loved him....and that he loved her, despite her flaws and shortcoming....(It could have been so wonderful.....so perfect......) His face slipped into a silly half smile when he realized that his stoic wife was sobbing against his warm, wet chest, her low voice ragged with tears. (She should have been like this earlier....) He tried to run his finger's through her short curly hair, then frowned when he realized that he couldn't move his hands.

"BANG!"

This time he barely felt the bullet ripping through his wife's body. Erik smiled again as Mara tightened her arms around him, thankful that she'd finally come to her senses, that she was putting him first for a change. (Perhaps I was overhasty....) He shuddered softly in the embrace, his mind struggling to understand where the strangled screams were coming from and why Mara was suddenly so still...her soft breath coming out in ragged little gasps against his throat. (She's probably still crying....do doubt because she feels guilty for treating me so badly....) The thought brought him great comfort. His darkening eyes opened for the last time as he felt her touching his face....finding to his surprise that he could taste the sweet saltiness of her tears on his tongue, a sensation that was somehow at once both arousing and irritating....(Just like her....) She was so stubborn....so bright.....so utterly unwilling to do things his way....

"You're such a stubborn bitch...." He smiled and tried to shake his head. (But somehow....even now....I can't help but love you.....just a little.....)

"I'm sorry."

It was all she could manage after the second shot. Mara clumsily ran her fingers over her husband's blood spattered mouth, trying to keep his airway clear, knowing in her hardest of hearts that it was far too late. (I failed you....) Her teary gaze wandered over the devastated landscape of Erik's face....memorizing ever y possible detail.... the tiny blood and tissue fragments that lingered on his blond lashes, the sound of his blood soaked breathing, the half angry, half sad look in his beautiful blue eyes. She turned her head and coughed out the stringy ropes of blood that tore out from her shattered chest, knowing that even in this state, he would be upset if she bled on him.

(I love you....) Mara mouthed the words over and over again, hoping that he'd understand that even now....even after everything that had happened....she still loved him with all her heart. (I love you....) She swallowed back the rising tide of blood in the back of her throat and smiled at her husband, praying that now...at the end of things....he'd find it in his heart to forgive her for letting him down, for not being the woman that he needed her to be. Her expression changed from one of pain to one of deep sadness as she watched his breathing become more shallow, the tiny change in his pupils that indicated Death was fast approaching. ( I love you...) She rested her head against his neck and patiently waited....uninterested in the frantic fight for control of the handgun, the fact that Lashondra was lying dead only a few feet away, the back of her head a mangled mess of bone, blood and brain tissue, the enraged screams of Yukishiro and Gondoza as they threw themselves on the much taller man....

Erik shuddered violently then, his strong body fighting the inevitable outcome. Mara forced her heavy head up and watched in mute horror as a mass of blood welled up out of his mouth....then flowed down the side....pooling silently in ever widening red pools. (I'm so sorry....) She whispered again, hoping that he heard her.....knowing that he probably didn't care....Her hands tightened into fists as the brilliant blue eyes slowly glazed over and a last shuddering breath escaped. (So terribly sorry....) Mara's eyes slammed shut, unwilling to endure another second of sight.

Suddenly a strange sound began to intrude upon her grief..it was erratic and weak...a whisper soft sigh that offset her ragged weeping. (This can't be happening....) Mara gasped and pressed her ear against what remained of her husband's still chest. (But it is !) The sound grew frighteningly familiar, each failing heartbeat driving a spike of guilt into her heart and mind, emphasizing the horror of seeing Erik's murder and her guilt at having caused it. Suddenly...the sound faltered...then stopped altogether, prompting a wave of sorrow that nearly overwhelmed her.

(I've lost another one...) Mara opened her eyes....and groaned as the world around her began to twist and warp. In seconds, the green tiled floor was a mere memory....as were the cooling puddles of blood and bone splinters. She watched as Yukishiro and Gondoza evaporated into shadow....their tear stained faces becoming rough hewn walls....the sounds of their screams transforming into the mindless keening of the bitter winter wind as it slammed into an ancient tin roof.

Mara choked back a sob as the final aspect of her nightmare began to shift back into the battered little form of her youngest patient. Tan, blood spattered skin took on an almost translucent, pale hue...Honey blond hair darkened into a dull shade of mahogany....Gone was the angry, pain filled grimace, replaced instead with a tiny blue tinted mouth that even in death held the hint of a gentle smile. (He died in his sleep....) Mara instinctively reached out and picked up the lifeless body, cradling the boy's head gently against her bosom. (...thank God...) Whispering the timeless endearments that her father had comforted her with, she held the nameless child, too tired to carry the corpse to the make shift morgue...too bereft to put the boy back down on the blood soaked futon and cover his face with a blanket.

Outside....the winter storm raged on, mindlessly covering up the remains of the train wreck...and muffling the sounds of a tired woman weeping.

_______________________________________________________________ _______________Coming up in the next chapter....

Well, to be perfectly honest with you...it hasn't been written yet. *Blushes* Leave me some ideas in your reviews and I'll see what I can do !

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Thanks to all those that reviewed this chapter...

Firuze, Vesca, Imbrium, Hana Himura, Conspirator, Carter, Ice Angel, Wavewalker, Mad Melma, Kyrannos, Nemo, Supernaturallove, Marstanuki, Midori, Eillwony, Nightrain, and Fujifunmum.

A VERY SPECIAL NOTE OF THANKS GOES OUT TO THE FOLLOWING THREE PEOPLE:

Imbrium - Who suggested that there needed to be some male bonding (I hope you like what I did) and drew the most BEAUTIFUL PICTURE OF MARA. (Thank you so much!!!!)

Firuze - Who took the time to help me overcome another nasty round of writer's block and made me realize that YES, the political discussions must take place and I need to push myself as a writer. If you haven't taken the time to read her story, Moonlight Shining Over Snowfields, I suggest that you do so.. It is an excellent, well researched and addictive literary delight.

DARK AGENT (AKA my wonderful husband) - Who came up with an ingenious solution and enabled me to post this much sooner.

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Author's notes and rants....

1.) Mortality figures for amputations in the 19th century were remarkably high considering the utter lack of modern sanitation and antibiotics. In most cases, it hovered around 20% up until the second day from the time the injury occurred. After that time, the fatality rates skyrocketed to 50% and by the 48 hour mark, death due to systemic infection was almost a certainty.

2.) The ballpoint pen was first patented in 1831.

3.) In 1872 , the Meiji government abolishes the Kingdom of the Ryukyus and establishes the Ryukyu Han (feudal clan). In 1879, Japan invaded Okinawa and sent troops to occupy the Shuri castle this period began the the forced Japanization of Okinawa. The last King of the Ryukyu's, Tai Sho was exiled to Tokyo and a Japanese appointed governor was put in his place as head of the reformed Okinawa. In order to make the Ryukyus an integral part of Japan, although opposed by the hereditary lords of the Ryukyus, Meiji abolishes the Ryukyu Han and sets up Okinawa Prefecture. (A big thanks to Firuze for helping me with these details....)

4.) Okita Yukishiro is none other than Enishi's great grandson. In subsequent chapters, you will see that this man played an integral role in sparing Mara's life and helping her get back to Japan.