Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Battôsai's Sheath ❯ Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Rurôni Kenshin is property of Nobuhiro Watsuki.

 

Battôsai's Sheath

By Snowy

 

[xxx]

 

"Will you, Tomoe, become a sheath? The sheath to hold the blade Himura." -Katsura Kogorô, 'Rurôni Kenshin: Trust and Betrayal'

 

[xxx]

 

There are so many things, Battôsai that you still need to learn of this world: not the world of killing, but the world of compassion and loving…

 

I want to be your sheath, Battôsai, not because of Katsura-san's orders, but because I want to be the one that tames you, that binds you, that frees you, so that I may teach you of these things. I want to be the one that teaches you of compassion and love through my own compassion and love. I want to be that sole person, and I want it to be nobody else. Will you accept me, Battôsai? Will you accept me … Kenshin?

 

The Ishin Shishi have already given you whatever they can, but they haven't given you a proper home, a proper place to live! They, as well, haven't given you one element that might as well change the life of this madness you know as 'Hitokiri Battôsai'—none of them have taught you to love! I want to be your sheath, Kenshin; I want to be the one that houses you, that protects you, that keeps you. Not in any possessive manner, of course; but still … a pulling force drives me towards you, and I must have you, Battôsai. I must. I must be able to tame that demon within you that takes possession every time you possess a lethal weapon, your deadly sword. I must be able to tame that fierce, driving wind that possesses that demon, and I must take control. You're losing control, Battôsai; can't you feel it? Don't you feel it? Won't you feel?

 

You're losing control, Battôsai, but you're too involved in your killing spree to notice. I want to be your sheath, the one that tells you things, the one that caresses you whenever you're your tamed self, the one that holds you tightly, unwilling to let go, the one that prevents you from collapsing further into your already-growing madness. I want to be the only one that can whisper your restrains, the only one who can caress you into prevention of this condition that deteriorates you from the inside. May I be your sheath, Battôsai?

 

I want to tell you, warn you, whenever you're about to snap, whenever your control slips; it's not easy for the others to tell you, because they're afraid you'll harm them, Kenshin. But I'm not afraid; I know you won't hurt me. You said so yourself, even, that if I held a sword in my hand that you would not kill me. Well, I don't technically know it, for you might've already forgotten, but I can feel it. I can feel it. It's a deep emotion writhing within you—writhing within Hitokiri Battôsai, and within Himura Kenshin. It's not really hard to tell the difference between you two, you know that? All in all, whatever others may think, you're still the same person through and through, no matter what you do. Hitokiri wa hitokiri itsumademo; Kenshin wa Kenshin itsumademo.

 

I still remember the first time I spoke to you, and my words were clearly, "You really are the one who makes it rain blood…"

 

And you still do, Himura. No matter where you go, the scent of blood will still follow you. But it won't be the only scent following you; I shall be with you, in spirit, and within the faint scent of hakubaikô, Battôsai—or, perhaps, shall I call you Kenshin as I take it upon myself to watch over you?

 

You're confused. You've always been, no matter where you go. I was, too, at first. It was your childish appearance that almost fooled me, that indefinitely baffled me into thinking that you, surely, weren't Hitokiri Battôsai, the Legendary Manslayer of the Chôshû Ishin Shishi. I almost didn't believe it, willed myself to not believe, but when I saw you killing that night when blood rained on Kyoto's streets, I believed. But confusion lingers, doesn't it? Battôsai, I want to be your sheath; I want to be the one that protects your mind from this hazy confusion, the one that can finally lead you to a way of escaping this utter confusion you seem to be lost in. You are my sword, I am your sheath. Is that not a wonderful analogy?

 

"Kimi wo, shiawase wa, ore wa mamoru."

 

I loved those tender words you spoke to me, and I treasure them—and I will treasure them, no matter what. If you will have it that way, you protecting my happiness, then I will have it my way, so that I am protecting your sanity. I believe that's a deal within itself already, and so it is closed.

 

However, you know what? You're unwilling, and I can feel it. You're unwilling to let go of your dreadful, dreadful past, and yet, as well, you're unwilling to accept the present. You won't accept the fact that Katsura-san has already decided for us to be husband and wife, for you to become a pseudo-apothecary. You're unwilling to accept that, and though you make it seem like you have, I know you haven't. That dreadful past you don't want to let go of…there is only one remedy, anata. Let go; it's over. Let. Go. It won't do you any good to dwell on it.

 

I want to be your sheath, Hitokiri Battôsai. I want to douse that flame of hatred, tame that wind of destruction, and raise in their place a flame of love, a wind of peace; I want to be your sheath, so that I can do all of these, so that I can fulfill my promise. I mightn't have voiced it out to you yet fully, but I've already made this promise; a promise to love you, to care for you, to be there fore you; and I highly doubt that any other woman in this era would be willing to succumb to the mighty strength of Battôsai. But…do you see me, Battôsai? I've already succumbed to you, to your amazing strength; however little by little, I'm succumbing further and further into your control, and I want to succumb even further. I want to know the real you, Kenshin, the real you; not the pseudo-Battôsai mask you put on to everyone who meets you.

 

But succumbing doesn't always mean letting go of your control, Kenshin. It might mean letting go of control for a certain amount of time, but it doesn't mean you're letting go forever; it'll never mean that with me, Kenshin. You can be the dominance to my submissiveness, I won't protest to that. After all, you're used to being the dominant one, aren't you, being the Manslayer that you are?

 

"Hiten Mitsurugi-Ryû…!"

 

Your attacks would always fascinate me, encage me in a state of awe, of admiration, but then, whenever I see them kill, I would cringe, and then succumb to my fear. If we were in reverse roles, I was the sword and you were my sheath, I would run to you immediately, run to my sheath, my 'cage of protection'; I would even go that far to call me your cage if I had to keep you like that. I would, Kenshin. Don't you believe me? I certainly hope you do.

 

Hakubaikô, the alluring fragrance of white plums; the scent itself recognized for the lovely, elegant young women who use them. I can't quite daresay that I am 'lovely,' 'elegant,' or at all 'young'—since, after all, eighteen is already considered an old age to get married—but that is my scent, and that is who I am.

 

And you? Well, you are the scent of blood, the merciless killer whom everyone thought can't love. But it isn't your fault that you became this, and I'm not blaming Katsura-san either. The one I really blame is Iizuka-san, for doing this to you. But I can't speak of the terrible truths you'll unfold once I've done my duty; I truly wish that we can stay here in Otsu for the rest of our lives, but …

 

They think that you cannot love; they all think you are merciless. They think that you cannot feel that you cannot feel a happiness burning within you.

 

But I can make you love! I can prove to them that you are just as merciful! I can prove to them that you, indeed, can feel; that you can feel any emotion raging within you, besides the terrifying anger of 'Hitokiri Battôsai'!

 

… I swear to you, Kenshin; I'll make you accept me. I'll make you love me. I'll be your sheath, no matter what happens … I'll show you. I'll prove to you that I really care. I'll prove it to you, Kenshin, just you wait.

 

Just you wait … Kenshin …

 

Hitokiri Battôsai … Himura Kenshin … Aishiteru … Hontô ni aishiteru …

 

… I love you … I really love you …

 

[xxx]

 

-End-

 

A/N: Well, that's that. I might plan for a sequel to this—perhaps Hakubaikô no Tou, which is basically The Sword of the White Plums; a fitting title, don't you think? I might get around to that sometime from now, but as of now, I'll be on a momentary hiatus; don't worry, I won't be long!

 

Japanese Glossary:

It seems I used quite a few Japanese terms in this installment. Here's a small translation glossary, added here, so that you don't have to look through your Rurôni Kenshin manga to find what it means.

 

Bakumatsu - The final, chaotic days of the Tokugawa regime.

Hiten Mitsurugi-Ryû - Kenshin's sword technique, taught to him by Hiko Seijirô XII, and used more for defense than offense. An 'ancient style that pits one against enemy,' it requires exceptional speed and agility to master.

Hitokiri Battôsai - An assassin; famous swordsmen of the period were known to adopt more 'professional.' names. Battôsai would most likely be derived from 'Batto-jutsu.'

Hakubaikô - The fragrance of white plums; the scent Yukishiro Tomoe is most known for.

Ishin Shishi - Loyalists, or pro-Imperialist patriots, who fought to restore the Emperor to his ancient seat of power.

Anata - (My) beloved; (My) darling.

"Kimi wo, shiawase wa, ore wa mamoru." - "I will protect your happiness."

"Hitokiri wa hitokiri itsumademo; Kenshin wa Kenshin itsumademo." - "An assassin is an assassin forever; Kenshin is Kenshin forever." (Itsumademo can translate to either 'forever,' 'for good,' or 'eternally.')

"Aishiteru … Hontô ni aishiteru …" - "I love you … I really love you …"