Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Black Shadow, Piercing Light ❯ A Little Closer, A Little More ( Chapter 4 )

So, I'm happy the site is back up. I'm happy to finally have this chappie finished. Warning: This chapter is sappy and angsty. I'm not so happy with the first three chapters so I hope this one is better. I hope you agree.

Notes: Thanks for those who reviewed, I highly appreciate it, and don't forget to tell me what you think. A lot of this is establishment; soon we will get to the meat of the story. You know the juicy plot and villains and stuff. I just didn't want to rush his release, and it's important for me to establish the state of everyone's heart. I hope I have done that well enough in this chapter. Don't forget to let me know. Enjoy!

Chapter Four

A Little Closer, A Little More

Kaoru sighed as she sank lower into the tub. The hot steamy water felt good and it brought calm to the myriad feelings running through her heart. She was worried. For a change she was less worried about her new found friend Kenshin and more worried about herself. This afternoon he would be released and she would be taking him home with her. Kaoru clenched her eyes shut and bit her lips at the thought.

'I don't care what people say. I don't care what my head says. I'm doing this. My heart knows this is right.'

Kaoru sank lower into the tub. Despite her heart's call, she couldn't shake the warning bells going off in her head.

'My heart says this is right, but my head knows this is retarded.'

"But when have you ever listened to your head?" Kaoru said ruefully as she trailed the soapy sponge up one slender leg.

"Don't start now. Not when it's important."

Megumi hadn't been surprised when she'd told her. Kaoru wasn't sure what reaction to expect from the enigmatic graduate student. She'd halfway expected to be teased about having a crush or being called a stupid raccoon. But neither response came. Megumi had simply stated that she trusted Kenshin and that she believed in Kaoru. That had left Kaoru shocked to say the least. She'd always felt that Megumi considered her a dim-witted kid, but that statement proved that Megumi believed she was responsible enough to make her own decisions.

Tae and Dr. Genzai were an entirely different story. She hadn't told either of them yet. She knew that they would both disapprove. Severely. Dr. Genzai never pried too much into her life. He had been a good friend of her father's as the official doctor for all of the Kamiya dojo pupils. He made it a point to check up on her and help her out if she needed anything. In exchange she often happily watched over his two young daughters Ayame and Suzume. She had no express intentions of telling him, wishing to spare herself an embarrassing lesson on the ways of men.

She had kept her entire relationship with Kenshin secret from Tae. Even though their relationship had not existed more than two weeks, the two of them had grown fairly close. It was surprising, but in that short time, she felt drawn to him, everytime she though of him or spoke to the enigmatic prisoner, she felt as if something were tugging at her heart; beckoning her to him. Ever since that first meeting, when she'd told him she would come back she had gone to see him twice and talked to him on the phone. She would have gone everyday if it had not been for the rules of the prison that allowed him no more than two visits a week and two phone calls. In the limited time they had together she found herself sharing things with him, that she had not shared with anyone else. At first it was very difficult to break the ice, and Kenshin had kept himself shut away from her, refusing to talk about himself at all. At first his manners towards her were congenial, yet distinctfully distance. Kaoru easily discovered that this man had several well-placed shields up around himself, and he had no intention of letting them down. So Kaoru, determined to get through, had told him about herself, and the difficult time she'd had since her father's death.

She had not realized it, but she needed someone to talk to just as much as he did. Before her father died, Kaoru had been sociable and popular, although not really close to anyone. Captain of both the kendo team and the basketball team, she was well known at school. She was never exceptional concerning academics, but she got by. After the death of her father her average grades took a plunge for the worst. She'd dropped the basketball team entirely and stepped down as captain of the kendo team, only remaining to honor her father's memory. She had withdrawn from the hustle of high school life, finding no one among her peers who she could confide in, our whom she thought would remotely understand what she was going through. She had been depressed and terribly alone.

Kenshin could relate to that, she could tell by the softening expression that came over his eyes. It was as if he understood all to well what it felt like to be depressed. After that he began to open up, revealing a little of this or that, here and there. He was obviously holding back, and like Megumi said, he danced around the subject of his past and the reasons why he was in prison. Kaoru did not push it. She could sense a change in him every time they remotely approached the topic. He would become tense, and agitated to say the least. Worst of all he would force himself to smile and chat, for her sake. But Kaoru could easily tell he was hiding his real feelings by the way he avoided looking in her eyes. Despite this, she could tell he wanted to open up to her, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to utter whatever painful words that held the keys to his soul.

During their last meeting he had finally broken. The prison had gone back to regular visiting procedures, much to their relief. Neither knew what the other was thinking, but talking through five inches of glass was placing a strain on their mutual desires to grow closer. Luckily, Sano had insured that he would be the guard to escort Kenshin for their last meeting and gave them some time alone.

Kaoru blushed slightly as she remembered what went down between them. She had desperately wanted to get through to him. To encourage him somehow before he was released, but she had not expected things to move as fast as they did, for them to share as much as they had. Their mutual boldness was welcome, yet unexpected. Kaoru smiled slightly at the thought. It was all her fault of course, for taking that first step, as usual.

It wasn't really her fault, Kaoru just could not help that she was an impetuous and emotional girl. Sometimes her feelings were so strong she felt as if she would burst. More often than not, she channeled that energy through reaching out and touching someone, with her fists. Occasionally, more like rarely, she would channel things through a hug or a soft touch of the hand. For Kaoru, words were never enough; she required action to show her affections. Who knew Kenshin would be the same way? He kept himself clenched so tight most of the time she was with him. Although, she had seen his temper at work. Kaoru giggled as she was reminded of her own fiery attitude, and the unfortunate multitudes who had met the angry force of her bokken or fists. Tilting her head to the side she wondered at her knew strange friendship. 'Kenshin…'

Kenshin had been particularly tense and the strain of his acting was getting to be too much for Kaoru to take. She could not stand seeing him put up so many masks. For what? Because it was the only way he could feel normal? To keep her from shouldering his burden? Kaoru did not know enough to assume, so figuring it was better to dive right to the source than beat around the bush she had pushed forward.

"You're a pretty bad actor you know."

"Oro?"

Kaoru sighed. She'd had just about enough.

"Kenshin! Just give it up!"

"Huh? I don't know what you mean Kaoru-san."

Kaoru closed her eyes, and let out another sigh. After a few moments she swallowed hard, clenching her fists together.

"Um…Kaoru-san? Are you mad?"

"No Kenshin…I'm not mad. It's just…why are you doing this?"

Kenshin was about to give another stupid answer before he saw the hurt expression in her eyes. Cursing inwardly he wondered if he really was a horrible actor or if this girl was just amazingly skilled in reading his emotions. It was probably both. He was not used to faking happiness. In prison it was too easy just to be an angry bastard and let out his frustration on the iron bars of his cell or whatever fool tried to test him. But this girl, in this short time…she was able to move something on the inside of him, it was like she could easily see and maybe even understand his heart.

"Don't do this to me," Kaoru said, staring him squarely in the face. Her words were soft, but filled with a resolute emotion that he could not name. This time Kenshin was genuinely perplexed and uncomfortably…touched.

"What?" came his soft reply. He silently prayed that he hadn't unconsciously done something to hurt her. He never wanted to hurt her. This precious girl who had come into his life. When she came back to him, he could hardly believe her presence, let alone comprehend it. It made no sense for her to be there. She should not have cared. Besides Megumi, he never received pleasant visits, and she was indebted to him. Nearly all of the people he associated with before prison were either dead, crazy, incarcerated or on the run. Kaoru was a total stranger. He could not guess why a beautiful, sweet, upper-class girl like her would want anything to do with a soon to be washed up ex-con. Kenshin repeated his prayer, to whom he did not know, but if anyone was listening he hoped they would sooth her. His plan was to act as nice and normal as possible, in an effort not to scare her away. He would be as acceptable as possible, lest she discover how ugly he really was.

"You put on a show for me…pretending it doesn't hurt," she whispered.

Kaoru reached out and placed a gentle hand on top of his.

"I know your life is painful Kenshin. I know because mine is…was too. But…do you think so little of me?" Kaoru reached out and placed a shaking hand on his chest, right over his heart.

"Do you think that I'm so weak that I can't take this?" she squeezed gently.

Kenshin's breath caught in his throat as he looked down at her hand, clenching his chest. Lifting his own hand, to rest over hers, he slowly met her intense gaze. For a moment the two set in silence, trying to read the other's heart. Kaoru spoke first, noticing the uncertainty in his eyes.

"I won't leave you Kenshin. No matter what you have done." Those simple words sent Kenshin's heart and mind into a haze. He did not know what to believe or feel. Part of him wanted to accept her words as the truth. Her utterance was easily the most wonderful thing he had heard in over ten years. So wonderful, it was frightening in the intensity of emotions it brought. To Kenshin, it seemed everything he loved and cared for had slipped away from him, and it was all his fault. From his parents, to Hiko, his dreams and honor, his love…

Kaoru's words were so much like the precious words of another. The woman who had opened him up and let him be everything that he was, the good and the bad. 'Could she really mean what she said? No, she doesn't even know you or what you've done. If she did, she would certainly change her mind.' How he wanted her to mean those words, for the sincerity he saw in her eyes to be real! Kenshin leaned his head down to place a gentle kiss onto her finger.

"You see right through me…Kaoru-san." Kenshin was inwardly surprised at his sudden display of intimacy. Pulling back slightly, he stared at her hands, trying to grasp the meaning of his actions. He had been unprepared for her. It had been an inconceivable amount of time since he had been touched by something so real, so sweet.

"Kaoru…you see right through me." He repeated softly, almost inaudibly.

They were beginning to crack, the walls he had built around his heart. Despite his hesitation, when she spoke again, the sound of her voice so gentle and reassuring, he knew he could not keep her away. Perhaps he knew it all along, from the moment she promised to come to him again, it was useless.

"Kenshin…Tell me."

Taking a deep breath, he consented to her gentle demand. Perhaps he could trust her. Perhaps her sincerity was true. "I had a dream last night. It was a very real dream of the last time I spent with my…with my wife…before she died."

Kenshin paused and swallowed hard, looking down as Kaoru gasped softly at his admission. He didn't know what to expect from Kaoru or what she would say.

He felt her gently try to pull her small hand away. He clenched her tighter. After a moment he regretfully let go. Perhaps he had misjudged her. If she wanted to leave him now, he would make no motion to stop her. His unhappy musings were cut short as she slipped one slender hand up his chest to cup the back of his neck. She squeezed gently, leveling her eyes with his. In her eyes he saw genuine human love, the kind that longs to ease the sufferings of a fellow man. Yes, the battle was certainly lost. Kaoru was unaware, but Kenshin had been starved of such sweet emotions for so long, she was like a well of pure water, quenching his dying thirst for life. He was so accustomed to the grim, harsh realities and ugly faces of prison, she was unreal.

Half of him wanted to believe she was just some kid on a wild ride, just a girl caught up in his mix… but in his heart he knew… he knew that when he looked into her eyes she meant all that she said. His first observation of her was correct. She was a fierce angel, reckless and brash. Yet her intentions were pure, and he could not help but be reminded of the youth he had been. She possessed the same purity of heart that drove him to follow his passions despite the consequences. He wanted more. Yet the memories she asked for him to recall were still too tender, and unable to hold her gaze, he let his eyes fall back to the place were her hand had laid. Even though it was so long ago, he remembered every detail of that night as if it were yesterday.

"Kenshin…tell me." Her demand was meek, yet firm, and Kenshin knew she would not back down. Also aware that her request was more for his sake, born more out of her concern for his soul, than her own curiosity. He slowly consented to her request.

"It was one of those strange nights that usually left me feeling more abnormal than usual, and in a bad mood… But she changed all that, she changed the way that night felt to me."

"What did it feel like?

"It was cool, very humid, the kind that made the air thick and moist, as if it had just stopped raining, when in reality it hadn't rained yet…like just before a storm."

Kenshin was surprised at how freely the words fell from his mouth as he confessed to Kaoru feelings long cherished and buried.

"Go on."

He obeyed, his voice a deep whisper. "I could smell something sweet in the air, like the fragrance of flowers. I followed the smell. It lead me to the window sill and it was then that I had realized that she had placed some of her flowers in the window and the wind had spread their fragrance throughout the room. I stood there for a while and allowed the pleasant smell to fill me. I heard the door creak, and I knew she had just entered the room. It was then that I noticed the sky, it was a peculiar color. Although it was well past midnight it was unusually bright, because it was filled with clouds…Do you ever notice sometimes the night sky bears a touch of scarlet, just before it storms or rains?"

"Yes, I do notice." Kaoru watched him intently. The shock that he had been married had long sense worn off as she observed his pained expression. He looked as if he were straining, and Kaoru wondered if she had pushed him too far, too soon. Unsure of herself, Kaoru was about to withdraw, to hush him from his confession, when he pressed forward, a new determination in his voice.

Kenshin realized he needed this. To concede, to speak of those things buried in his heart. He silently thanked her for giving him the chance, no matter how difficult it might be.

"She came behind me and embraced me, her skin was moist from the shower she had just taken. Despite the humidity, there was a breeze. It blew through my hair, across my skin. I could feel her shiver just a little and she pulled herself closer to my body. I let out a deep breath and tried to relax. "You're tense," she'd said. I didn't respond, she knew why I was tense. Everything was getting to me. Everything was closing in, despite having her there, maybe because she was there. For a while, living with her I'd felt so fine… She had given me peace, a moment of calm in the midst of the hell I called my life. When I was in her arms, loving her…I felt safe… and human. She gave me everything…"

Kenshin paused and suddenly pulled away from her. His face began to contort with the strain, reflecting the turmoil inside. "I almost thought, we could get away and…But like the inhuman bastard I am…I destroyed her," his voice was a low growl, full of disgust.

"Kenshin…no." Kaoru didn't exactly know what he was talking about, but she hated to see him as he was, tentatively she raised her hands to his face, to his crossed scar, only to have him violently jerk away. Kaoru was not sure why she reached to touch him there, but suddenly she wished she hadn't. Pulling her hands back Kaoru was unsure of what to do next. She was surprised by this sudden transformation. The pain in his eyes, the hate in his voice was so profound she felt as if she herself would break. But if this is what it felt like to be inside him; if this is what he was trying to hide, she would bear it all. Kaoru closed her eyes and with a trembling voice spoke the words that were rising in her heart:

"But you are human Kenshin…you breath and you feel…you cry. You're real."

Kenshin's expression had not changed. He was blocking out her words, refusing to listen.

"Look at me." Kaoru resolutely demanded. "You are a man. If you're not human…Kenshin you have a heart, I know it. You think you're a monster, a demon. But demons do not feel regret. They do not feel pain." Kaoru breathed, surprised by the passion in her voice. Kenshin looked away, scowling, he seemed unsure how to react to her words. The clarity and truth of her words struck him deeper than was comfortable. He had not wanted to scare her away with his troubles; had not wanted to frighten her with his past. He was half afraid that she would come to her senses and realize what kind of man he was and leave him, even though he knew it would be better that way. He wanted to tell her of what bothered him. To unburden himself and give her what he knew she was asking for with her various visits and phone calls: a chance to help him…to get inside him and root out the pain…but he hesitated.

'How does she know how I feel? What does she know about me?' He had long since fixed his heart to believe that he had done the unforgivable and was unwilling to accept this tenderness, although with each of her sincere words it was getting harder. 'No matter what she knows, she doesn't need to know anymore.'

Kaoru sensed he was about to thrust the walls up between them again. She would not…could not, allow that to happen…not when she had gotten so close.

"Tell me what happened…if you can. Why did you feel tense? Why do those nights like that brother you?" Kaoru grabbed his hands, needing to ease him in some kind of way, surprisingly he did not refuse her. Slowly, patiently she stroked his hands, waiting for him. After long moments, Kenshin took a deep breath and continued.

"I had just killed." Kenshin paused waiting for the shocked reaction from her that never came. Unsure if he should be encouraged or confused, he continued. "And it was on a night like that…we met on a night just like that." He sighed, remembering. "On the night we met I could hear the wind in the trees, the leaves brushing together, it sounded like waves…like the ocean. And she was there, I had not sensed her presence. Nor heard her approach, but she was there, her voice was like a soft beautiful melody. A ghost, ethereal, some being from another world, that is how she seemed to me. I had seen her twice before, and smelled her in my dreams."

He began to struggle, forcing the words out as if it physically hurt to utter them.

"There she was…covered in the blood that I made fall. She said things to me, things I cannot bring myself to say, because they are her words, her first words to me, and I-" he stopped, choking on his words.

"It was then that she called me out for what I was…a killer. She told me plainly what I am. A killer so wild that I make it rain blood. It was what she forgot and refused to believe until I created another rain…another rain of her blood. Even then she forgave me…"

"It's okay, you don't have to say it. Don't say it." She reached her hands to his lips and stayed them from their trembling. Kaoru knew it was against the rules, that she could be banned from seeing him, but she could not resist…His heart was calling to her, without words, she knew what he needed, a soft touch, a woman's touch to reassure him of his humanity. He needed to feel again. To be touched by a caring hand. She embraced him. He melted into her embrace, burying his face in her neck. It'd been so long. His physical contact with other people, other men, while in prison had always been aggressive and violent. Kaoru held him until his breathing slowed. She started, rubbing his back and hair soothingly. He relaxed and allowed his face to press into her chest. Kaoru didn't feel the least bit ashamed. She only wanted to offer him all that he needed. Somehow, allowing him to rest in the warmth of her embrace fulfilled her. He was someone who needed what she had. She had not felt that way in a long time, only when she prayed had she felt so complete.

"She knew somehow and she allowed me to love her…I saw things differently with her there…Kaoru." His voice was unsteady and muffled in the soft fabric of her shirt.

"She loved me and I still can't see why. I had nothing to offer her but bloody hands and a twisted heart. I never knew I could feel that way…the way she touched me. That was our last time… before she died. Before I…Before I-"

"Shhh. Shhh. Don't speak."

He had begun to shake and Kaoru held him tighter. "Don't speak. You don't need to say anything else." Kaoru knew what he had to say was important, but she felt that this was neither the time nor the place. Knowing the violence and chaos he would have to face when he went back to that hellish prison, she wanted him to be as strong as possible. If he went back with painful memories fresh in his heart he might do something extreme. He might do something that would surely threaten his release that was scheduled for the next few days. The time would come for both of them to reveal their secrets, but for now she wanted him to be strong in mind and spirit.

"Kenshin." Kaoru looked down at him as he just buried his face deeper into her chest. His name on her lips…the softness of her breasts…the sweetness of her smell…it all had the combined effect of a calming drug. She was so true, so dear. He didn't want to let go. Willing himself to pull away completely, he could not force his body to obey the weak command.

"Kenshin." When he didn't answer, Kaoru called softly again after a few moments. She pulled him a little closer. He didn't resist.

"Kenshin, you'll be out of here in a few days." Her voice was light, attempting to brighten the mood.

"When you get out, where will you go?"

Kenshin remained silent, cherishing the gentle motions of her hand against his back. He did not want to talk about the outside. Hesitant to get his hopes up, when he felt it would be just another battle. He had been almost convinced getting out was useless. He would surely violate his probation and end up with another fifteen years to life. But somehow, the brightness of Kaoru's smile had sparked a ray of hope inside him. Maybe…just maybe…if there were people like her on the outside, perhaps it was worth a try. He smiled a little, surprising himself as he remembered his heartfelt promise to Tomoe, that he would use his strength to somehow help people. Perhaps now, finally, after all these years he would really have his chance.

Kaoru looked down at Kenshin, worried at his silence. 'You once told me everyone you cared about is dead. You don't have anywhere to go. You're alone. Just like I was.'

"Come home with me."

Kenshin blinked out of his deep thoughts at her sudden utterance. Reluctantly he pulled away from her embrace, searching her face to discover if she was serious.

Kaoru had not thought before she spoke, but she had put herself out there now and she certainly was not turning back.

Realizing she was serious Kenshin smiled ruefully. "Kaoru I couldn't possibly-"

Unwilling to face the pain of rejection, before he could finish Kaoru rambled of her list of reasons in a mad rush.

"I have a large house. I'm used to people living with me! Megumi's living with me right now. When daddy was alive he always let people who were down on their luck stay with us. We were never alone... Some of his students stayed with us too! We have the basement made up like a little separate apartment and everything!"

"Kaoru, um... Kaoru-san you would let a…" He could not say stranger. They had shared too much to be strangers, but she still didn't know that much about him.

"Kenshin you are not a stranger to me. So don't even say it. You need someplace to go!" Kaoru cried. " How can I turn you away?"

Kenshin reached forward to gently cup her face. "Kaoru-san listen. There are still a lot of things about me that you do not know… things that make me… a very dangerous person."

"I know who you are Kenshin."

Pausing she shook her head. "No, I know who you were."

Pulling back slightly, Kenshin let his hand drop from her face. His heart began to beat a little more rapidly. He had not been prepared for this. He should not have been surprised. Too many knew his identity as one of the most ruthless assassins alive. The killer for the people, of the Notorious Affliction. But that had been years ago, and the government had tried to keep the press exposure down, considering his involvement with them. Fearing they would be shamed and loose trust they tried to keep him a secret. Nevertheless some press had broken through, although never capturing his face, his description and job were made known, before the various reporters were …silenced. Still there were those who knew, who remembered, and the name of Battousai was becoming a modern legend in itself, whispered about, here and there. Both revered and hated.

What would she think? Would she fear him? No. If she feared him she would not be offering her home to him. Confused once again he decided to simply wait for her to explain.

"My father was the chief of police of Tokyo you know. He got the position, just five years ago, so he never had the chance to request your…services, but he knew of you, and there were others like you even when he was in power." Kaoru looked down at her hands and began twiddling her thumbs, suddenly nervous at her own confession. "I didn't realize at first…who you were, but I was thinking about my father and I remembered that Gohei called you Battousai." Kaoru paused, biting her lip, a little intimidated by his fierce expression. "The philosophy of Kamiya Kasshin Ryu was taught to me since I was a child: "The weapon that protects life" My father had begun to teach the style to all the police officers under his command, and as adjunct master, I was to assist him. That is why he explained to me his true reasons for creating our technique. His plan was to have every Tokyo street officer trained in our style, to prevent needless deaths. He wanted to combat the increased hostility our country was showing towards criminals in the form of special operation killers…like you were. He explained to me the crazy things that went down in Kyoto ten years ago because of one renegade unit, which got out of control, The Notorious Affliction. Even though the program had been expelled ten years ago…there were still those in the government and people under my father's jurisdiction who secretly employed their own hitokiri and it looked like the movement might grow again in Tokyo. My father launched a massive task force and investigation. The punishment was swift and severe for all who were caught. They didn't get everyone though. Those who were left conspired against him. When their repeated attempts to remove him failed, they killed him."

Kaoru took several deep breaths, and held her head high, refusing to let the tears fall. "So I know who you were Kenshin, but my father always believed that there was not one person who couldn't be saved. He said those who killed back then had pure intentions, but things can easily get out of control when you place the life of one human in the hands if another, no matter how bad that person may be."

"Your father was a very wise man, Kaoru." Kenshin felt his words were painfully inadequate but he did not know what else to say. Maybe he should not have said anything.

"Kaoru, I…since you know who I am, how can you trust Battousai to stay with you?"

A weak smile grew on Kaoru's face. "You may have been the strongest of The Affliction, and I guess that must mean you had the worst jobs." Her confidence regained, Kaoru wrapped her arms around him again. "But you were also the youngest, ne? And you must have been the most pure."

Kenshin smiled grimly. "I may have been young, but I was anything but pure."

"Then why are they releasing you? You only got ten years, when you should have gotten death or life."

Kenshin's brows creased as he recalled the unwanted knowledge that many of his comrades had been executed or were serving life terms. He had been given a life term. For the first time Kenshin began to wonder about his release, or why he had spent only four years in solitary confinement prison and not the whole term. Was it really due to good behavior as they told, to his youth at the time of arrest, perhaps connections from his past…or something else?

Kaoru felt Kenshin tense against her, sighing she began to stroke his hair. "Whatever it is you're brooding over, just let it lay, okay?" Kenshin nodded absently. For long moments, the two sat there, silently enjoying the feel of their intimate embrace, when the door burst open, to reveal a grinning Sano.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt nothin'." Sano said, a strange twinkle in his eye. The two instantly broke apart, Kaoru blushing madly. "If you didn't want to interrupt, you should have knocked. Baka." Kaoru stated indignantly. Kenshin sighed, almost out of relief. He was getting just a little bit too comfortable.

"Sorry little lady," Sano grinned. "But if you wanted a conjugal visit you should have said-"

His mouth was quickly shut as it made painful contact with Kaoru's fist. Kenshin was angry at Sano's remark too, but now saw he would not need to retaliate, as Sano's busted lip was already bleeding. Despite this the lanky guard was still sporting a grin.

"Why are you laughing?!?" Kaoru demanded, stomping her foot. "What are you? A masochist?"

"No, I'm a guard stupid!"

"Sano, she said masochist."

"What?" Sano looked completely stupefied.

Kaoru stifled a giggle and shook her head. "And I thought I was stupid. Anyway, that's what you get for being rude."

"Sano, it wasn't like that, and Kaoru is a lady. You should not say things like that to her." Kenshin said with a smile. Even though he was talking to Sano his eyes were on Kaoru the entire time, suddenly shy she averted her gaze.

"Well you're lucky I got my man Katsu watching this camera, you should be thanking me."

"You only got him to watch the camera to cover your own hide while you take a long lunch!" Kaoru screamed.

"Don't act like you didn't enjoy that time alone little miss. I know Kenshin did."

"Oro!"

Unable to think of a snappy retort, Kaoru decided to change the subject as she gathered her things. "Kenshin I'll pick you up on that day, and then we'll go home." Without giving him time to reply Kaoru made a break for the door, but he swiftly caught her arms and pulled her back. For a few seconds Kenshin piercingly stared at her, trying to decide if he could really do what he so desperately wanted, and take what she genuinely offered.

Kaoru squeezed her eyes shut, anticipating his refusal. Meanwhile, Sano cursed under his breath and shut the open door, lest some unwanted party see the three of them. With, Kaoru and Kenshin in an embrace quite against the rules, with him standing there letting it all happen.

"Kaoru, I'll come with you."

Kaoru opened her eyes up slowly. "Really?"

"Yes, but…" He tightened his hold on her arm.

"But?"

Noticing the slightly panicked expression on her face, he loosened his grip. "It cannot be permanent, and I do not know when I'll have to leave."

"I hadn't really expected you to stay forever. I mean it's not like I'm asking you to marry me!" Kaoru giggled nervously. 'How dare you say that! You are such a classless fool!'

Kenshin let go of her arm quickly. 'You jerk, she never asked you to stay permanently!'

Seeking to alleviate his embarrassment and escape Sano's knowing glances, Kenshin decided to make a joke.

"I'm not used to privacy, so I might accidentally walk in on you while you're in the bathroom or something." Kenshin's grin quickly disappeared as he noticed Kaoru's horrified expression.'Reminder to self: Don't ever try to be funny again!'

"That's okay," Kaoru's horror quickly faded into a mischievous grin as she cracked her knuckles. "I have ways of wrenching that hentai spirit out of you!"

"Oro!"

That was that. Today was the day. Kaoru climbed out of the tub and pulled a soft yellow towel around her body. Kaoru wondered if she was really as crazy as she thought for doing this, but she was convinced Kenshin would not hurt her. Still though, why had she so foolishly opened her home to him? That's what society would say. That's probably what Tae and Dr. Genzai would say. They would all think her stupid and immature. But somehow she needed this, wanted this. A chance to help someone else, and maybe even someone who could understand her. Had she found that in Kenshin?

Kaoru hadn't realized it but her young heart was crying out for something more. Ever since the day Kenshin had defended her, protected her from Gohei, she had been drawn to his strength, to his passion. Inside her was a wild fire, a ferocity of heart that she so desperately wanted to tame. She did not like being the loud girl who fought. The tomboy who always took on the bullies. The daydreaming student who always fell asleep in class. The unusually strong teenager that could best police officers in a spar. Part of her wanted to be like other girls her age, but she had long since given up, the way to normality eluding her. Underneath it all, past her smiling face and unruly temper, was a lonely girl looking for protection. She had lost her anchor, and unconsciously cried out for another.

Kaoru smiled to herself. She would do this without looking back. This would be the last time she second-guessed her heart. Kaoru finished dressing and grabbed her keys, heading for the door. She could not imagine what it would feel like to be in Kenshin's shoes, but everyone needed to know they were cared for. Kenshin had no family, and apparently only three friends, in that they were painfully alike. Any normal man would need a helping hand when alone, and Kenshin even more so. After so long, re-entering society would be difficult to put it mildly. With one final thought Kaoru stepped out the door. Her nervous heart fluttering.

'It could not have been a mistake that we met. This is the worst thing I have done. But I don't care. If you're really crazy and you kill me in my sleep so be it. But Himura Kenshin, I'm bringing you home.'

TBC…

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