Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Blood and Amber ❯ Touch ( Chapter 7 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Whew! 4 reviews! Thanks guys..... Keep up teh reviewing and I'll keep up the writing! Sorry for it being so bloody WolfGirl, but you're right, I did warn you!
It may be a bit before I can get the next one up- someone deleted it the first time I wrote it, and when I rewrote it, it looked funny. I have an idea of how to fix it, but a plot twist will be brought up in the next chappie!

Kenshin sat up, sweating. He had- once again- dreamt of killing that man. he looked at his hands, half-expecting them to be covered in blood.
He didn't go to the market much anymore, nor even to the Akebeko most of the time. Now, everyone except those that stayed in the dojo or Megumi backed away from him, even though he smiled the same rurouni smile, bought the same foods with the same money, said the same words, and walked back the same way.
At the dojo, he had been using 'I', 'me', 'mine', and had been calling Kaoru-dono by just her name since that night, but no one commented on it- much.(No one even really noticed that his sakabato was gone.) Kaoru occasionally asked him why he used 'I', 'me', and 'mine' now, but he never told anyone, and her efforts to get him to tell her had dwindeled over the weeks. Only he knew the reason, and only he would ever know the reason.
'I killed that man, breaking my vow as a rurouni. I turned back into the hitokiri. Everytime I speak, I remind myself that it was my fault, and no one else's. Going back to 'this one', even if it was 'this unworthy one' would be just like fortgetting that man's death and moving on.' Kenshin lay back down, thinking of the second half of his dream.
Oh, how he hated that half.
Even though it had started with that man, he'd dream that the scene had shifted, and he was murdering Yahiko, Sano, Megumi, and Kaoru. It was the last that horrified him the most. Kenshin closed his eyes, begging the nightmares to leave him alone.

Kaoru smiled. She and Kenshin were kissing.... the feeling was so sweet.
"I love you Kenshin." she mumbled, hugging him tightly. He put his arms around her and kissed her back.
"I love you, Kaoru." There had never been any doubt that he had loved her. It had been like this since forever...

Kaoru woke up, hand to her lips. She sat up, finger lightly tracing them.
"Oh....." she sighed, sad that it had just been a dream. 'But then again, he really did kiss me, if only just that once......' Kaoru thought, but then her contented smiled turned sad and angry.
'But, since then, he's acting like it never happened! Well, maybe it didn't, and I'm just imagining things..... I had just had my finger nearly cut off and had a sword wound in my back, it's perfectly possible that I was hallucinating.......' She looked at the wounded finger, flexing it. It seemed to be healing fine. She sighed. Megumi still had to look at her finger and her back, weeks after the incident.
'Everyone still wonders what happened.' Kaoru thought. Megumi always inquired about it, but she hadn't told anyone yet. Yahiko was blunt with his questions, but neither she nor Kenshin had answered. Sano- subtle as he might be with his inquiries- also pestered them about it.
They still didn't know that Kenshin had killed someone.
All they knew was that Kenshin wasn't his same old self anymore- he was much quieter. Even she wondered about what he was thinking sometimes.
She groaned in frustration. This was getting her nowhere. She'd have to ask Kenshin outright what was bothering him, and hope he'd answer. She tried to get back to sleep, and she hoped she'd be able to.

The next day went much the same as the day before that, and the day before that. Since the Incident- as it was coming to be known around the dojo- their days had fallen into a pattern.
For Kenshin, he always awoke before the others, made their breakfeast with what the others had gotten the day before or they had in stock, eat a little while trying to make it look like he had eaten more, do the dishes, do the laundry, make lunch, eat, do the dishes, watch Kaoru and Yahiko practice, make dinner, eat, do the dishes, pretend to sleep. It was boring because it was just a repetition, but it served Kenshin well. After doing this for as long as he had, it was second nature to him, and he could put his body on a sort of autopilot while he thought, trying to come to terms with the death of that one man. The only thing irregular about his schedule was the questions he was asked, what times they were asked at. The most popular time for grilling Kaoru and him seemed to be mealtimes.
Kaoru's schedule varied a little from his, for she awoke before the others as well. The things he did that she didn't do were cook (for which everyone was thankful) and clean. Sano grilled them both when he showed up at mealtimes, but otherwise he followed his same old schedule. He practiced by himself, or gambled, or drank, whichever he felt like doing. Yahiko followed Sano's schedule, except that he didn't drink or gamble. Megumi asked the about the Incident whenever she was over.
It was pathetic. They could live the same day over and over, without knowing any difference.
Today, however, Kaoru vowed to change the schedule. They got past lunch without any changes, but she sent Yahiko off to town to get some vegetables that she had, *ahem*, 'forgot'. Yahiko grumbled, but the complaining stopped when she asked him if he'd rather clean up the entire dojo. He left.
Kaoru took a drink of water from the well, then went off to find Kenshin. It didn't take long.
He was sitting in front of the dojo, on the steps. Ordinarily, he would have had his sakabato with him, but it was still at the fort in the woods. She sat down beside him. He didn't react. He must have known that she was there.
"Hi Kenshin." she said softly, not whispering, but talking in a slightly quieter tone.
"Hello Kaoru." he replied, equally soft, if not softer. "What do you want with me?" Deciding not to beat around the bush, she came right out with it.
"What do you think about?" She had startled him. He could sense it when a person came, but he couldn't sense questions.
"What do you mean?" he asked. He looked right at her then, for just a minute or two.
"You're always so quiet. You don't use 'this one' anymore. I just wanted to know why." He stiffened. Sensing that this was an obviously sore subject for him, she stood quickly and blushed, feeling a little embarrassed about prying into his affairs.
"G-Gomen. It's not my business, it's just that I was wondering......" She got ready to leave, turning around, but then a hand grabbed her arm.
"Please, stay. Your prescence is..... " Kenshin seemed lost for words, but then he released her arm. "Nevermind. You have things to do as a dojo master. Don't let me keep you."
'I shouldn't be comforted by her being near me. I broke a ten year vow, I deserve this guilt.' To his surprise, Kaoru sat back down.
"Yahiko's gone, for a few minutes at least. I can stay here. It's okay." He glanced into her eyes, seeing an emotion there- if not love, then at least acceptance- and so let her stay.
'How can she still accept me? After what I did, even though she knows what I did.....' They never noticed as their hands- their bodies seeming to have a will of their own- inched closer. They never even said anything, not wanting to bring the other's attention to their interlocked hands. Kaoru had a faint blush, but didn't move.
They stayed like that until Yahiko came back, demanding that Kaoru teach him a new move for the time he had wasted. With Yahiko's arrival, they practically jumped apart.

Kenshin was making dinner, quietly as usual. He chopped the vegetables, boiled the water, mixed the stew, all the while reflecting on this afternoon.
'Kaoru and I held hands. Did she even notice? Does it mean anything beyond friendship?' Unconsciously, he put a hand to his lips. Even though Kaoru probably thought that he had forgotten it, their first kiss was clear in his mind, as was that oen conversation that they had had..... For a moment, he allowed his attention to wander, ignoring the stew. It could take care of itself for a minute. He remembered the kiss, his caress on her cheek, how smooth it had felt, how it had left a small line of drying blood. He stared at the had that had touched her.
'Everywhere I go, everything I touch, it always ends up bloody. Even Kaoru, though she's too innocent and forgiving to ever have to so much as see blood, let alone as much as I showed her that night.' Kenshin turned his attention back to the stew. He would think more about this later. However, her words rang in his mind, the words that she had spoken soon before they had left.
'"It's also your fault, then, that I met the man I love the most....."' Kenshin remembered. 'Did she mean me?' (A/N - Remember, she could mean Sano! No, she doesn't, but he doesn't know that!)
'A question for another time.'

Kaoru was in her room, hugging a pillow and smiling a small smile. She had worked up the courage to actually hold his hand! It didn't matter if he had realized that she had or not, but -in her mind- the relationship had stepped up the pace slightly, from friend to just beyond that, one step closer to him being her boyfriend.
'If only he'd actually realize how I feel for him....' She traced her lips again, unable and unwilling to let their kiss slip her mind. Even if it had been the imaginings of a fevered brain, she never wanted to forget.
Ever.
To her, it didn't matter if he was covered in blood or completely clean. He had spent years atoning- he should be happy.
'I want him to be happy......'
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