Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Closed Doors ❯ Chapter 4

Standard disclaimers apply.

"Closed Doors"

Chapter IV:

Kaoru decided to walk back inside the dojo. With a heavy heart, due to her encounter with Saitou Hajime, she thought of someone that she can turn to. And she immediately remembered Kenshin.

While walking from the outside towards his room, Kaoru felt the light drizzle on her shoulders. She put the broom beside a pail nearby. Rain suddenly began to fall.

Taking in a deep breath and before she changed her mind, Kaoru quickly knocked at Kenshin's door. A few seconds after, a very surprised Kenshin slid the shoji open.

"Konnichiwa!", she said trying on a smile. Her heart beat went fast.

"You need anything Kaoru-dono? I made breakfast a while ago…" said Kenshin defensively.

"Aren't you going to let me in first?" asked Kaoru. "I'm beginning to feel cold here, you know."

"Oro!", confusingly said Kenshin. "Hai. Come in Kaoru-dono…"

Kaoru observed inside the small but cozy room of Kenshin. She turned and looked directly at his confused eyes.

"Your room's nice, Kenshin", she said.

"I'm still not quite sure why you are here Kaoru-dono. Gomen nasai, but I think this is not a good idea… it's not nice for Yahiko or even Sano to see you in here…" Kenshin said while shaking his head.

Kaoru dropped her look on the floor. She felt stupid. What is she doing here anyway?

"Uhm… well, Officer Saitou came here a while ago," she started. She looked at the battousai. His brows were up, waiting for her next words. Kaoru sighed then licked her lips wet to try and speak again.

"H-he said that I'm dishonoring my family because of the loud noise that are coming from here at night… from us. And that he even dared he would close this dojo if this… I mean we, continue doing that. That's why I'm here right now."

"And why would he do something like that?" Kenshin said impatiently.

"I don't know. He even said not even you can stop him in doing so…"

"…and don't you know he also said that this was a place of harlots…"

"…and that my father would really be mad at me if ever he was still alive…"

Kenshin thought for a moment. "Hai. I see we have been too loud these past few nights. Don't worry Kaoru-dono, we would just have to follow his orders. And I'm pretty sure after that he wouldn't be coming back here again…" he said coolly.

Kaoru was surprised by his calmness despite the things she had told him. "Is THAT ALL you can say!?"

Kenshin almost jumped from the corner he was at. "Oro?!"

Kaoru's eyes blazed in anger. "Is THAT ALL you can say Kenshin!? Don't you know how humiliated I was? Don't you know how I hate myself right now with all of those things that wolf had told me?!!"

"Gomen nasai, Kaoru-dono… what I mean to say actually was that I…" he said coming closer to comfort her.

But before he could even touch her, Kaoru stood up fast, slid open the shoji and recklessly walked under the pouring rain back to her room across Kenshin's. She did not mind him trying to stop her.

After walking just a few steps away, Kaoru felt his tight grab at her shoulder. Rainwater was flowing through his face and his long red hair was dripping wet. He began to increase his voice against the strong wind blow and rain pour.

"Kaoru-dono, onegai! Come back inside!", Kenshin yelled at her.

"I will not!", she strongly said.

Kenshin tried to pull her back inside again but they were both slipping.

"Do you want to get sick Kaoru? What if anybody sees us here?", his patience is getting thinner.

"I said NO! I thought you'd understand me! I thought you're going after Saitou because he insulted me!", she returned his yell.

"You don't want, huh?" threatened Kenshin. Without further explanation, he quickly carried Kaoru with one swoop of his arms back inside his room while she tried to free herself from his tight hold.

Kenshin put down the frantic lady inside and closed the shoji. He brushed away the water in his face. Kaoru glaringly cursed him inside her mind.

"I honestly don't know what I ever did Kaoru-dono, for you to make me deserve this," he irritably whispered to himself. Afterwards he turned to her again.

"Good thing I just finished folding your clean clothes Kaoru." She was surprised the '-dono' was gone. "I'm going to wait outside while you change. When the rain stops I'll prepare your bath then you can rest in your room."

Before she could even say anything, Kenshin looked sternly at her. "No more arguments, Kaoru, please."

Kaoru silently obeyed all he had told her. A few moments later, she signaled Kenshin from the outside that she has dressed already , and he came in with a tray.

Shortly after, they were sipping hot tea, seating beside each other on his futon.

Kaoru was thinking of something to say to break the silence inside the room.

"Kenshin…" she began.

He lifted his brow as he looked at her. Not saying anything, he waited for the apology he knew he would surely hear from her.

"Gomen, neh?", she continued. "Its just nobody had ever told me things like Saitou did, and thinking from all the people here in Tokyo… why must it be him?"

"But it still doesn't explain why you have to act like that," explained Kenshin. "Kaoru, its natural for police officers-especially him-to say those things. And I probably bet he only said those things to give himself the pleasure of somehow distorting a beautiful face like yours, but I know he doesn't mean it."

"Do you mean that?" asked Kaoru.

"Hai. And its true that keisatsu officers need to sound somewhat offending sometimes to…"

"No, no. What I mean is, the part that you said that… I-I'm beautiful," she embarrassingly said. "Do you mean that?"

Kenshin stared at her, smiling. She is really beautiful for him. If it only weren't for our age difference, he said to himself. He scolded himself with the idea.

"Hai," he answered her question. "You are very pretty Kaoru-dono. And don't ever let other people tell you otherwise… even Saitou. That I would swear by my sakkabatou."

"A-arigatou," Kaoru blushingly smiled and chuckled lightly. She thought it was worth coming inside his room after all, just to hear him say that she was beautiful. And she felt somehow glad to finally hear the '-dono' back again.

Silence took over them again. Kaoru stood up and peered out between the shojis. "There, the rain has almost stopped," she said.

The cold wind suddenly breezed inside the room and Kaoru instantly felt the chill. She tightened the tie that bound her bathing robe and hugged herself. Kenshin saw everything.

"Are you feeling cold Kaoru-dono?" he asked.

Kaoru nodded. Kenshin stood up and was about to close the shoji again when she stopped him.

"Don't close it completely. It'll be hot if you do," she said.

Kenshin only shrugged his shoulders.

The sat back on his futon again and finished their tea. Kaoru would sometimes glance discreetly at her seatmate, until he accidentally met her stare.

Kaoru did not mean and her mind does not understand, that in that moment, her eyes were looking at him in whole-hearted ardor. There was a trace of indescribable thirst her lips offer. And the hands she put on his own has a sensuous effect. Meaningful were her stares.

Seducing. Intoxicating. Magnetizing.

There were no words between. As the rain began to fall once again, almost same as their reactions, the flow of passion swept them both off.

Outside, the rain that almost had stopped, slowly poured heavily. It did not stop from pouring on everything under its natural power that heeds no other law except its own.

Sparks of lightning that cut through the heavens wrecked the sky covered by dark clouds. Continuously. Repeatedly. Uninterruptedly.

In the middle of the heavy rain, a loud cry broke the stillness of the place. One door was opened, never to be closed again.

Together, as the sun slowly peeked from the clouds, the light of truth came on the mind of two souls that they indeed had become one…

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Kaoru silently listened for the first words that would come out of Kenshin's mouth. She tried to feel his probable reaction. In herself, she did not know quite well what to initially feel. Be scared? Be happy? Does she have to get mad?

Kenshin was sitting at the corner of his futon, thinking deeply and sighs almost every minute.

"Kaoru-dono, forgive me," he whispered softly. "I don't know what else to say. This shouldn't have happened. All the more I blame myself."

"Dame," said Kaoru. "I wanted it. I'm not even sorry for it."

Kenshin glared at her. He tried to hide the anger in his voice.

"But… you don't understand. You're still too young, Kaoru-dono."

"What do you mean?" There was fear in her voice.

The ex-hitokiri came close and held her hands. He looked at her intently without even batting an eye.

"You just have to put this behind you. I can't even marry you. Sessha will just ruin your life."

"You don't have to marry me right now… we could hide it from the others in the meantime. When I get a little older, we then could…"

"Kaoru… kaoru… onegai, listen to me," interrupted Kenshin. He looked at her directly again.

"It was a mistake, don't you know? Its wrong. What happened was wrong. It can't be corrected no matter what we say or do."

He stood up and walked across the room while Kaoru followed his movements with her eyes. He turned to her again.

"I-I can't stay here at the Dojo anymore, Kaoru-dono. After what Saitou had said, I think I have no right to live here longer. Because of me, your family honor has been risked. I may have to leave…"

She was not interested with what he was saying anymore. Kaoru got up and sped fast out of his room.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Tears were flowing down her eyes. She almost didn't believe what she had heard. He has had her and all… and now he has the guts to tell her that he was leaving? She remembered her good parents.

Her sobs went louder. Her chest and shoulders shook with her cries. Its like her tears were racing down her cheeks.

But she also quickly wiped it off. She breathed hard. Tried to clear her blurry mind.

She was already in her room when she heard Kenshin calling from outside her room.

"Kaoru-do-K-kaoru, onegai, let's talk about this," he pleaded.

"What else for? Nothing will change, neh?" Kaoru bitterly screamed back. "Don't worry Kenshin, I will not bother you anymore. No one will know. I will forget you soon."

She felt him standing still in front of the door. Then she heard his footsteps slowly walking away.

Kaoru never cried so hard all her life like that night.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

For many days Kaoru never left her room. It was easy for her to tell a tall-tale to Yahiko and Sano to explain her acts. She pretended to be sick and wanted to be alone frequently. The two just shrugged their shoulders and said nothing.

Kenshin tried many times to approach her but she did not want to talk. Megumi, who had insisted to look at Kaoru's condition, observed the awkwardness behavior of the two, and guessed right away that something wrong might have happened between them.

After spending another week in her room, Kaoru finally thought to herself that she really would have to talk with Kenshin now. Maybe they're just both confused at that time that's why their first talk did not came out fine.

She decided to go to his room. She was almost about to knock when she heard voices talking. She recognized Megumi's voice inside.

"Are you sure about this Ken-san?"

"H-hai, Megumi-dono... I know I should have told you this earlier but I was afraid you might just ignore the feelings of this unworthy one…"

"…aishiteru. Very much. And I have made up my mind now. Will you be my wife?"

"Oh Kenshin! You're so sweet…" Megumi answered.

Kaoru felt a lump in her chest. She could hardly breathe.

She stepped back quickly, not wanting to hear more of their treachery. That foxy bitch, I should've known… And you Kenshin? Finally found the girl 'your age', neh? Her feet took her back to her room.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Kaoru waited after Kenshin had gone to the market before she went out and talked to Sano and Yahiko.

"Sanosuke… Yahiko… I'm leaving for Kyoto tomorrow."

"Kyoto? Why so sudden busu?" Yahiko asked surprisingly. "First, you isolated yourself from everybody. Second, you've been acting so strange lately especially to the fox and even Kenshin. And now you're planning a surprise attack at the Aoiya?"

"I think the boy's right, Jou-chan. What's happening to you? Did you and Kenshin had some kind of a 'lover's quarrel'?" Sano grinned at her with mischief.

Kaoru's eyes narrowed in anger. "N-no. We did not fight. Its just that I've finally realized that he really was not worthy of me after all, and I don't want to do with anything that has him in it…" she paused. "But hey, could you do me a favor?"

The two were dumbfounded by her words. She sure was acting weird. "A-anything Jou-chan…"

"Don't EVER tell anyone where I'm going, okay? If anybody asks you tell them I just left and told you nothing… especially… HIM."

Though seemingly confused, Yahiko and Sanosuke only nodded. "Ryoukai!… anything you say…"

Kaoru managed to smile. "A-arigatou." She leaned over them both and hugged them tight. She did not trusted her voice to speak. The two were all the more surprised.

Before, she would not bother to thank them openly, but now, after everything she has been through, she felt ashamed in front of them.

If they only knew. If they only knew how I blew up their trust in me…She said to herself with a heavy heart.

~õ~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

When she arrived at the Aoiya that day, Okina, Misao and the other Oniwabanshuus happily welcomed her. When they asked about Kenshin, she fell silent. The two halfly understood that something must have happened and that they did not mentioned to Kaoru anymore.

A few days later, Kaoru received a letter from Sanosuke telling that Kenshin had suddenly left the dojo. He left a letter of heartfelt thanks and gratitude to all of them especially 'Kaoru-dono'.

So he finally left… good riddance!

She replied to Sano's letter and told him she would be home in a few more days. And that she told him and Yahiko not to bother to look out for Kenshin anymore because she told them, 'he's probably happy now with his life…'

Kaoru tried to be strong and decided to be firm with her decision to forget Kenshin totally. Every night before going to bed, there's one thing she would say to herself.

Everything's finished between the two of us. I will just forget about it. I will just forget about him. I'm going to begin my new life again, like the way I did even before he came. And I will never ever make the same mistake again. I'm still young, am I not? There's still a lot of time for me…

But after she had returned to Tokyo months later accompanied by Misao, while trying to fight for herself to begin and face a new life without Kenshin, Kaoru found out that her problems are not yet finished. Its not easy to get away from the ghosts of the past that came to haunt her…

~õ~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Kaoru was training with Yahiko that morning when she passed out in the middle of their sparring lesson. Sano was quick to call Megumi to look after Kaoru's condition. After several check-ups and examination, she called everyone in to have a talk before she would announce the result.

"How old are you again, Kaoru?"

"Seventeen." Kaoru coldly replied.

"Was it just today you felt dizzy like the way you did a while ago?"

"No. Actually it had occurred several times already."

"When did you start getting nauseated?"

"I think it started after my travel from Kyoto."

Kaoru looked at the blameful face of Misao at one corner.

"When was the last time you had your monthly period?"

Kaoru blushed at Megumi's straight-forwardness. "I don't know. I can't remember. I'm irregular, you know."

Megumi turned to face Yahiko, Sano and Misao.

"So, what's wrong with her, fox?"

The doctor insultingly looked at Sano, "Nothing's wrong with her, baka! She's not sick. She's two-months pregnant."

Megumi still talked about many things. She kept on asking how she had gotten pregnant. Misao's jaw dropped at the news. Sano and Yahiko looked at each other. They think they know the answer.

Kaoru did not dare look at them.

Nevertheless, Megumi instructed them how to take care of Kaoru. Of what she must avoid to do, and what she should eat. The baby's in poor condition that's why care is of utmost importance.

But its as if Kaoru heard nothing. She sees the opening and closing of Megumi's mouth but it seems her voice was so far. She can't see clearly the shocked expression on Misao's face. Kaoru tasted something salty on her lips. Its just then she found out that she was actually crying. And it was also just then that she felt Misao's tight grip on her hand.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I'm sure Kenshin acted really like a jerk but don't worry, it will all be worth it in the end. Please continue to review. Thank you for those who have been posting nice reviews, you're inspiring me so much! Ciao!

To be continued. Chapter V up next!