Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Compliance ❯ Separation ( Chapter 6 )

Rurouni Kenshin Fanfic

Rurouni Kenshin & Samurai X Original Japanese Version (c) N.Watsuki/Shueisha * Fuji-TV * SME Visual Works Inc. * Sony Pictures Entertainment

All Fanfics created by Chiruken (me) were written for the sole purpose of shared entertainment and not intended for publication or sale.


Compliance
by: Chiruken
Separation

Steps unsteady, he made his way towards the Ishinshishi headquarters, part of his consciousness alert for danger, the rest filled with self-loathing. He'd finally reached the lowest of the low. He still was in a state of shock over the earlier events with Saito. He couldn't believe he'd actually asked the other man to abuse him. It was wrong. It was deviant. It was…unbelievably pleasurable. And he hated himself for his weakness.

Pausing at the gate to the inn he looked around the shadowed yard before stepping inside, sensing the presence of his comrades inside as well as the guards walking the perimeter. Swiftly making his way to the bathhouse he had one thought on his mind and one thought only…to cleanse his body of the shame his earlier actions had caused and hopefully bring peace to his already troubled heart. Glancing quickly to the side he saw the fire already lit and breathed a soft sigh of relief. He didn't think his abused body could withstand the rigors of readying the fire, no matter how small it was. He ached in ways he hadn't believed possible and wished fervently that he'd never thought of willingly subjecting himself to Saito's punishment. It was, he decided, one of the stupidest things he'd done in a long while.

He was already stripping himself of his clothing as he stepped through the door, stomach churning with the combination of his inner turmoil and the scent of the other man still clinging to his abused body. He felt a mixture of relief that he'd finally called an end to the nightly meetings with the Shinsengumi captain and regret that he'd done so. His vow to forget the whole affair had been empty. He knew he'd never forget. He couldn't. He knew he'd be haunted for the rest of his life by the knowledge that he craved the other man's touch…the abuse.

Shaking his head hard to clear the thoughts from his mind he set his daisho against the wall and finished removing his clothes, standing naked and shivering in the sudden chill. Reaching for the towels he stepped forward, into the steamy bath, drawing in a deep breath as he slowly knelt, dipping a cloth into a full bucket to gently run it over the cuts and bruises marking his body.

“Kenshin…” He jumped, eyes wide with the shock of discovering that he wasn't alone in the bathhouse. “What have you done to yourself?” He met the concerned gaze of Kogoro reluctantly as the other man stepped out of the furo to approach him, dark eyes moving over him restlessly, pausing to narrow on the bruises.

“Sir…” He murmured, wishing for something to cover himself with, to hide his shame.

Kogoro stared in horror at the evidence of abuse marring the younger man's body, lingering on the cuts marking his wrists and the dark bruises forming over his back. “Kami-sama…” He breathed softly, slowly lowering himself to the floor beside the other man. Taking the cloth from his unresisting hand he began to gently cleanse the obviously recent wounds, drawing in a sharp hiss of anger when the smaller man tensed in pain. “Who did this?”

“I-it was…intentional, sir.” He closed his eyes, waiting for the condemnation to come, the words of revulsion he knew he deserved.

“You allowed this?” He couldn't quite believe it was possible, yet by the way the young hitokiri was behaving he knew it to be true. Despite the horror threatening to engulf him, he felt a stirring of desire for the young man, wanting, yet again, to taste of him and enjoy his young body to the fullest. He was appalled at his own lack of discretion. It was obvious the smaller man was in pain, yet he was powerless to stop his hands from moving in slow caresses over his arms and chest, pausing on his thighs before moving up again.

“Yes.” He watched the other man carefully, seeing the need flaring to life. If Kogoro insisted, he knew he couldn't refuse, yet his body definitely didn't feel capable of withstanding more abuse. He sighed inwardly. Despite the way his body ached from the inside out he silently acknowledged that he was in need of the older man's comfort, his tenderness…something he would never experience with Saito Hajime.

He couldn't quite hide his surprise when the smaller man slowly, hesitantly, returned his caresses. “Are you certain, Kenshin?” He murmured it softly even as he discarded the cloth and slowly moved his hands over the other man's body, reveling in the feel of soft skin and hardened muscle beneath his palms. He'd never thought he'd get another chance to touch him like this and he intended to enjoy every moment offered to him.

Rather than replying, he leaned forward, into Kogoro's touch, and pressed his lips to his shoulder, encouraging him silently. Closing his eyes, he reached down and grasped the other man's arousal, slowly moving his hand over the rapidly hardening flesh in insistent strokes. He didn't object when he was urged to lay back. He shifted, releasing his throbbing member, wincing slightly at the contact of the hard floor against his bruised back and held his arms out to the older man in silent invitation. Words were no longer needed between them. They both knew what the other needed.

Leaning forward, he pressed his lips against a bruise forming on the smaller man's hip, cursing the man who'd hurt his beautiful young lover so ruthlessly. Briefly he wondered if the hitokiri had just returned from his abusive lover. For a moment he hesitated, sickened at the thought of following after another man, before he shrugged. He'd known the smaller man had another lover, that he wasn't the first and not likely to be the last. He may not like the idea, but he wouldn't object either. Lowering his head, he touched his lips to the other man's member, smiling at his instant reaction, a low, needy moan.

His hands closed into fists at his sides as he stared up at the ceiling through the steam. He felt strangely detached from the situation. He thought for a moment to stop Kogoro, to insist that he clean himself of Saito's scent, but discarded it immediately. The other man must know what had transpired earlier that night and if he chose to ignore it, then he would as well. He couldn't help comparing the differences between Saito's touch and Kogoro's. Though the Shinsengumi captain was rough, his touch brought instant lust in its wake. Kogoro's was more gentle, coaxing rather than demanding. He sighed softly, slowly relaxing under the tender caresses, enjoying the moment of closeness more than he'd thought possible.

Slowly drawing the smaller man's throbbing member into his mouth, he bobbed his head rhythmically, drawing another soft moan of pleasure from deep within his chest. He smiled, enjoying bringing pleasure to his younger lover. Gently sucking, he moved his hands in slow circles over his hips, urging him to rise up into his mouth. When the hitokiri's breathing became irregular, his engorged flesh throbbing insistently against his lips, he slowly pulled back, releasing him with a final flick of his tongue, tasting his excitement on his tongue. Sitting back he regarded his flushed features and parted lips before leaning forward to kiss him deeply, thrusting his tongue into his mouth to taste him thoroughly.

He could taste himself on the other man's tongue and for a moment he was revolted. He felt…wrong. Yet he couldn't deny that he was enjoying the older man's attention. He returned the kiss, his arms moving to hold him closer, moving beneath him restlessly. He groaned when his hardened flesh rubbed against the other man's flat stomach, feeling his need increasing with each restless movement. He forgot about control, relishing the moment instead. If he finished now, so be it. He was certain it wouldn't dissuade the other man at this point.

Pulling away, breathing hard, Kogoro smiled. “Easy, Kenshin…easy.” He gently urged the smaller man to still his movements, not wishing their time together to end so soon. Reaching to the side, he grasped a cloth and moved it closer before he reached down and began caressing the smaller man's throbbing arousal with sure even strokes. He was too close to the edge to not see to his needs first. Urging his legs apart, he shifted to his knees, pressing his own engorged flesh against the smaller man, hips moving in a slow, even rhythm. Reaching down, he grasped himself and rubbed his length against the smaller man's cock, enjoying the sensations their erections generated as they moved together.

Shifting until his knees were bent, feet flat against the floor, he moved against the other man desperately, knowing his orgasm was near. Reaching to the side, his fingers closed over the cloth and he lifted it in readiness, his breath emerging in short, excited pants. He wondered if the older man intended to finish as well. The next instant all coherent thought vanished from his mind as the pleasure became too much to bear. His back arched, a soft cry emerging from his throat as he pressed the cloth against his pulsing member, catching his orgasm before it spilled over his stomach and Kogoro's thighs.

Smiling, he pulled away and stood slowly, looking down at his younger lover tenderly before he stepped away. Reaching for a small jar he removed the lid and poured a generous amount of oil into his hand before setting the jar on the shelf again. Grasping his hardened flesh, he rubbed the oil onto himself thoroughly before returning to the young hitokiri. Plucking the cloth from his hand, he urged him to his knees, kneeling behind him and gently caressing his firm buttocks, scowling at the bruises forming. Moving his hands over them, he shook his head slowly, seeing that the bruises formed into perfect handprints. It angered him that someone would deliberately hurt his younger lover. And saddened him that the hitokiri seemed to welcome the pain.

He glanced uncertainly over his shoulder when Kogoro paused, gently caressing his chilled flesh. He swallowed with some difficulty when he saw the anger reflected in his expression. Despite the negative emotions swirling in his dark eyes, his touch remained gentle. He lowered his head to his forearms, waiting for the other man to continue. His muscles clenched in anticipation as the older man pressed his throbbing member against him. The next instant he moaned softly, feeling his stiff body protesting being stretched and filled again so soon after Saito's rough handling.

Kogoro paused, staring down at the bruised back of the hitokiri and held himself still, waiting for the smaller man to protest. He knew it must have hurt him, the sound hadn't been one of pleasure. Yet no other sound came forth and he shrugged, slowly moving into a steady rhythm, his hips thrusting with sure, deep strokes. He closed his eyes, enjoying the tightness of the younger man's body gripping him. He didn't think he'd ever tire of the sensation. Reaching around, he grasped the other man's unexcited member and slowly stroked him, matching the caresses to the movement of his hips. He smiled, feeling the flesh begin to harden almost at once. He loved the absolute responsiveness of his young lover. It amazed him how quickly he could recover. He assumed it was because of his youth.

He closed his eyes, relishing the combined sensations of pleasure and pain. Kogoro would never know that he was inadvertently falling into the role of lover and tormentor. Kenshin had no intention of ever telling him, knowing instinctively that it would disgust the older man. His body was reawakening, craving another rush over the edge into the oblivion of release and he cherished the feeling even as his bit his lips to keep from crying out at the pain the other man's cock was bringing him as it moved deep within his body.

Suddenly Kogoro pulled back, slipping out of the smaller man's body. He wished to try something else, something he'd only just thought of. Grasping his shoulder, he urged him to his feet. “The furo…” He rasped, waving towards the steaming water. Stepping inside quickly, he lowered himself into the hot water with a sigh. “Come, sit.” He motioned towards his lap.

Tilting his head to the side curiously, he hurried to obey. He wondered at the older man's sudden change, but didn't give voice to his thoughts. Slowly lowering himself into the water, he closed his eyes, clenching his jaw at the way his aching body stung with the heat. Kami…this hurts… He thought in surprise. He allowed the other man to position him, gasping when he felt his cock slip into him again. He clutched at the larger man's shoulders, feeling the natural buoyancy of the water aiding him in maintaining his position. Soon the water began to slosh over the edges of the furo with their increasingly frantic movements, the sounds of their pleasure increasing in volume as the sensations became nearly unbearable.

Wrapping his arms around the smaller man, he pulled him closer, his hips rising to meet the downward motion of his lover. He could feel his erection moving against his stomach, the water adding its own lubrication, making their skin slide together exquisitely. It was heaven, he decided, his mouth moving over the hitokiri's shoulder and chest, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses against the moist flesh. The sounds emerging from his younger lover's throat were driving him ever closer to the edge of his control and he was glad that he'd thought of using the furo for their joining. Grunting with effort, he ignored the splashing of the water as he pumped up into the smaller man's receiving body desperately, listening to his loud cries of pleasure. Vaguely, he wondered what the sentries posted around the perimeter of the inn would think of the sounds emerging from the bathhouse before discarding it as unimportant. If they wished to talk, let them. He didn't care if they knew he and the hitokiri they were so afraid of were lovers.

Reaching between them, he grasped his straining member and stroked himself roughly, needing the added friction of his sword-callused hand moving over his flesh to add to the mind numbing pleasure coursing throughout his body. Gone was the discomfort of earlier, replaced instead by the burning lust being generated between them. Groaning loudly, he threw his head back, increasing his downward movement, impaling himself forcefully on the older man's hard length, feeling it brushing against the one spot deep within him that sent waves of intense sensation throughout his body, threatening to close off every other sense he possessed.

Thrusting one last time, he groaned loudly, his body jerking as he spilled his orgasm into the smaller man, his cock twitching with the force of his release. Panting hard, he lowered his gaze to the other man's erection, seeing his hand moving desperately over his hardened length. The next instant he went rigid, a hoarse scream torn from his throat as he jerked, his seed splashing over his hand against Kogoro's chest and stomach as his cock pulsed in orgasm. Grabbing the back of his head, he pulled him close and claimed his lips in a fierce, possessive kiss. He wanted the younger man for himself, never to share his passionate nature with anyone else. He knew the thought was futile. He could never give him the pain he seemed to need, but it couldn't stop him from wanting to keep him near.

Slumping forward against the older man, he closed his eyes and concentrated only on the pleasurable after shocks of his explosive release. His chest burned with the need for air and he ruefully admitted that he had to learn to remember to breathe when he reached his climax. Of course, he doubted he'd ever feel such an intense orgasm ever again. It had been pure, mind-numbing pleasure and he regretted that it was over so soon. Vaguely he wondered if there was any way to prolong the sensation of orgasm without losing the hardness of his member. He decided that he'd give it more thought in the future, when he wasn't feeling quite so lethargic.

Kogoro quietly held the smaller man against his chest, listening to his uneven breathing, enjoying the feel of his smaller, compact frame in his arms. He closed his eyes and savored the intensely tender feeling the young hitokiri instilled deep within his heart. He knew that he was feeling was as close to love as he'd ever get. He felt tenderness for his female lovers, but never anything this consuming. It pained him greatly to know that his tender affections would never be returned by his younger lover. He wasn't even certain if the young man was capable of feeling love, not after all that he'd been forced to endure, alone, isolated, and all because of him. He would never erase the guilt that he'd destroyed Himura Kenshin's life, crushed his spirit, buried his soul deep within darkness. He'd created the cold killer known as Hitokiri Battousai and he'd never forgive himself for it. He'd made Kenshin into his soldier of chaos, and cast him into his own personal hell. He could never restore the gentleness to the younger man's eyes, or heal his shattered heart. He took full responsibility for the way Kenshin seemed to hunger after pain being inflicted on his small body. He wondered how many more humilities the young hitokiri would force upon himself before his self-destructive desires were finally satiated.

He felt the older man's arms tighten around him, heard the steady beating of his heart beneath his ear, and for the first time in too long felt contentment. Kogoro's touch brought him a measure of peace in his otherwise violent life. He regretted that they could never fully establish a relationship. It wasn't possible and he knew it. He wondered if the other man was aware of the futility of the situation. A man such as he, powerful, one of the great leaders of the restoration movement, could not afford to place his affections anywhere but into the cause. He was under no illusions. He knew that even if they were free of the revolution and the violence of the times, Kogoro Katsura could never choose him for anything beyond a fleeting moment of shared pleasure, not that he wished for something more permanent. He didn't wish to tie himself to a male lover. He wanted, someday, if he could ever rid himself of the blood staining his hands, a woman to share his life with…to bear his children for the coming generations. He yearned for it with every fiber of his being, the chance to love and be loved in return…to feel the tender emotions one could only share with a very special woman. He thought immediately of the silently suffering woman who was, at that moment, probably working in the kitchen of the inn, serving the other members of the Ishinshishi. Tomoe… He sighed softly. He could never allow her to know of his deeply hidden longings. It was wrong. She should never be touched by the ugliness in his life.

Kogoro looked down at the red hair splayed across his chest, hearing the younger man's soft, nearly inaudible sigh. “What is it, Kenshin?” He whispered softly, gently running his hands through the smaller man's long hair, wishing that he'd thought to remove the tie holding it back into the high ponytail atop his head. He loved his younger lover's hair. It fascinated him. The texture, the color, the softness. Everything. He especially loved the way it caressed his chest when he moved.

“I was thinking that this can't continue.” He murmured softly, regretfully. He didn't wish for the closeness to end, but he knew it must. It was hopeless to cling to something that could never be.

“Why not?” He asked, feeling the stirrings of anger within his heart. He knew the younger man was correct, yet he didn't want to acknowledge it…not yet.

Pulling back, he looked into the other man's eyes and shook his head slowly. “We don't have the right to indulge in the luxury of this, Kogoro-san. We must be vigilant, focused. The ideals of the Ishinshishi should always come first, before personal feelings. It is how I live, how I survive. I can be nothing more than your hitokiri, your shadow killer. Anything more is…” He paused, searching for the right words to convey the depth of his feelings. “It's wrong.” He finally finished, unable to properly vocalize the churning emotions rolling around through his troubled mind.

“Wrong.” He repeated flatly. “You are more than just my hitokiri, Kenshin. Surely even you must know this.” He didn't like the way the smaller man seemed to be distancing himself. It angered him and saddened him all at once.

Kenshin's eyes narrowed. Was the older man being purposely obtuse? Slowly, carefully, he pulled away and stepped out of the overflowing furo, nearly slipping in the spilled water covering the cold boards of the floor. He would have to clean up the mess before anyone else entered the bathhouse, hide their actions from all prying eyes. He could never allow his relationship with his leader, no matter how brief, to become common knowledge. It would destroy all that Kogoro had worked so hard for. “This was a mistake, sir. I can't allow myself to become distracted from my purpose. I told you before that I am your assassin, nothing more. I will continue to carry out my duties to you and the cause, but anything more isn't possible. You should forget about me…about this.” He waved his hand expansively. “It was a mistake and should never have happened.”

Eyes narrowing, he stepped out of the furo and reached for his yukata, pulling it on with sharp angry movements. “How dare you?” He glared furiously at the smaller man, hating the way his cold mask had slipped into place so easily. “Do not presume to know my mind and heart, Kenshin.” He took a slow, purposeful step towards the younger man watching his expression intently. “Do not question my resolve, in this or anything else. I mean to have you, as my lover, and I will do all that I can to coax you to my way of thinking.”

“It is useless. I won't. I can't. It should never have happened and I regret that it did. Nothing good could ever come of us continuing on this path.” He hated the words, despised that he was being forced, yet again, to instigate what was going to prove to be another painful parting of ways. “I am your hitokiri. Nothing more. This…” He waved his hand again. “Was a diversion, nothing more. We are different, in more ways than the obvious. I am the instrument of your plan to destroy the Bakufu. I cannot be anything more.” He turned away and grabbed a yukata from the shelf, pulling it on quickly, suddenly uncomfortable in the other man's presence. He strode across the floor, pausing only to retrieve his daisho. He would leave the clean up to someone else. He needed to be away from the older man's overwhelming personality. “Find someone else to play with. I'm not interested anymore.” He opened the door and stepped out into the dark and cold night, hating the way his heart constricted at the way he was alienating one of the only people to have shown him kindness since he'd left his shishou's mountain and abandoned his training for his foolish ideals.