Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Dawning Emotions ❯ Want ( Chapter 6 )

Chapter Six

He could smell food. He just had to! Soujirou was acting quite irregular. It seemed that his lack of food had affected his thought pattern. If he could smell the food or the food wasn't there. He had to be crazy! There is no explanation! It would be very troublesome to enter the mind of Soujirou Seta.

He could hear footsteps now, he swore it! And they were coming closer. Would it be that strange doctor with his different and violent methods? Or someone else? Soujirou didn't really care as long as they brought food. Edible would be preferable but not necessary. Soujirou on missions had often had to eat food that was inferior and that the majority of people would find repulsive but then again here he was, alive and well. Nearly an adult now. And look at his height… or lack of it really. Soujirou felt that he was in need of a growth spurt and that he needed it.

Whether or not he was going to get it was questionable.

The footsteps stopped; there was an awkward moment, then a hurried quick knock. It was repeated once more. Soujirou tilted his head sideways and stared a smile coming across his face, his already calm faced cleared and when he opened his mouth to speak all of his feelings that had managed to escape for a moment disappeared, they retreated, "Yes?" the door opened a crack.

"Are you… fully dressed?" the voice was Chieko's. There was a nervous feeling around her. Tension was evident.

"Soon…" he hastily got dressed," Come in," Soujirou also had the covers right up to his chin. He was taking no chances.

The door slid open more then paused. She wasn't taking any more chances either. The door was eventually open enough to reveal the majority of Chieko. Her eyes struggling to keep their gaze upon him and Soujirou also decided that his hands were really quite interesting.

"I brought you some miso soup. Doctor Endo said you could eat solids now so I brought some rice balls too. Is that all right with you?" she rambled on.

"Yes. That would be fine," be polite! "Thank you," he bowed the best as he could.

"It is nothing," she stood up quickly and left. Her once again retreating footsteps skidding and sliding along the hallway.

Soujirou looked at the food. The food was great in a staring contest but could it stand up to Soujirou's stomach? Sadly no.

He should leave soon. He had already overstayed his welcome. Who knew what Doctor Endo might do? Soujirou wanted to be free not locked up in some prison. Standing up he planned his departure. He would leave now, before Chieko came back. It would be for the best if he never returned here.

Treading quietly to the door, he gently slid it open trying to be as silent as possible. If he left without anyone noticing him it would be less confusing for all. For Soujirou.

Sliding the shoji door, as quietly as before, shut. Soujirou crept by the hallways. Eyes open. Ears alert. Senses of all kinds on red alert.

The hallway was of polished wood and branched off in two directions. To Soujirou's right and to Soujirou's left. There was a door just a head. Everything was clean and had a well looked after appearance. Soujirou thought he could smell some type of fragrance. Which he couldn't identify.

He could hear noises in the distance. Activity was going on. If he could just concentrate for a moment maybe he could discern what was going on. Clinking and scraping. The faint sound of waters being poured into more water. They were washing, washing dishes most likely.

Soujirou walked forward. All of this was normal. These people had normal lives. Happy lives. They lived without fear. Soujirou kept on smiling. They didn't worry about killing. It wasn't part of their lives. This was all so very normal to them. They couldn't even think of what he had done. All the death… the sadness… he had caused. Sadness wasn't part of the life that they had. They were happy. And they were confusing.

How could they have this happiness when they weren't… they weren't… strong? But did being strong make people happy? Shishio was happy. He seemed to find happiness. Himura had found happiness and he wanted happiness for others too. Was happiness the answer to his problems? Did happiness mean having acceptance? What was he searching for?

Life. He wanted to live. To have a life. Smiling. A life for his own and his own purpose. His very own life and no one else's. How marvelous. He just had to find it. A life for his own. But where could he get life? He didn't think he could buy it. So where could he get it? Where was life of his own? Life had to be somewhere. He just had to find it.

But finding it would be difficult.

He reached the crossroads of the hallway. Which was to go? To the noisier, bustling part of the house? Or the quieter, silent part of the house? Left or right?

Avoid what you don't have and you won't feel envy. He picked the quieter route. But even as the sounds faded behind him, he still envied what he didn't have. The longing for the happiness of life that these people seemed to have. That was so elusive to him. Always out of reach, it danced onwards. Taunting him. Distant but still seen. Soujirou couldn't catch up to the happiness. It remained without him.

A door to the outside was near. He could hear the sounds of the outside and nature. Soujirou rushed forward. Smile brightening. The joyful escape from this house. This house that evoked his thoughts to be so reflective. This house that like Mister Himura made him think of his past. The house was very much like Mister Himura indeed. Perhaps the house was somehow related to Mister Himura? It seemed unlikely but anything and everything was possible.

He opened the door to the outside. A bright ray of sunlight blinded him for a moment. Another gentler yellow wave of sunshine beckoned him. The warmth of the sun brought feelings of contentment to Soujirou. A soft tinkling of water soothed his sense. A light breeze rustled his hair briefly. For that moment in time Soujirou closed his eyes and smiled. All was well and he could leave. He stepped forward.

"Where are you going?"

~

Disclaimer: You must be kidding? Me? But if you giving it to me, well… You're not? Oh sorry, then I don't own it. So no money either.

AN: Thank you to all the people who have reviewed. Please do so again!