Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Forgive Me ❯ To Forgive, but never forget� ( Chapter 3 )

[ A - All Readers ]

By: are_en

Author: areen1 Forgive Me

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They all had been taken from Roruni Kenshin story. So DON'T SUE me !

A/N: Finally. As promise the last chapter. I am crying coz this is the last story Huah….. But, it's been fun writing this fic. I want to thanks and give a big hug specially to Shojin-dono on helping me on this hopeless fic. Believe me, if not because of him I will not made it till the end. And of course a lot of hugged and kisses to all your reviewers. You made me happy. So, ok, I'm stop now. N-joy the story ne?

P/s: No digital cookie because no one answer it! What? It was fun to test who will answer it correctly. Sigh, oh well, more cookie for me than Grin

Chapter 3: To Forgive, but never forget…

¬¬¬¬FoRgIve Me FoRgIve MeFoRgIve Me FoRgIve Me¬¬¬¬

It already passes 8.30 p.m. and she can see why there were not many people still hanging around in the park. The park looks almost empty, soulless. But some part of her was glad to be given this solitude, but at some part, never has she feels so lonely in her entire life.

Looking at the skies above, the moon already rises from its horizon. Like a soft white bulb light adoring the midnight skies and accompany by the starts that look like a firefly been glue so far in the skies. What she would give to have this moment froze forever. Never have to look back to reality anymore.

Stalling slowly along the park, she hopes that she can lessen this heartache.

She did not know why she comes here out of all places. After all this years she purposely avoid this place but now she come here at last. Her feet stop at particular spot. Looking closely, she can see that this place hadn't changes much. In fact, the Sakura trees that embedded both of her and Kenshin names were still here. Closing the distance between the Sakura trees, she place a hand on one of the tree trunk, her sorrowful eyes bored the tree that held so much memory.

Brings back the painful memory that unwanted.

This is the place where she first met Kenshin. But this is also the same place where she had met him, years longer than Kenshin…. Battosai.

This is also the place where she learn latter that she has been betrayed, Kenshin have chosen others and her world broke into peaces that day. But this also at the same place where she asked Battosai to leave her. In return, broken his world into peaces.

Ironically, both Kenshin and him never really say good bye to her.

Here, she feels like time has stood still. It was like yesterday all of this happened. This place reminds her of her happiness yet so does the pain.

The ground is covered with Sakura flower, dying red leaf and small brown branch. The petals and leaf were falling slowly to the earth and winds blew gently around her. Is like raining Sakura. And in this time, at this moment, she can feel like nothing has changed since the last day she was here. But when she looks closely, she can see that the tree has grown higher and the trunk has grown thicker. It was the fact that time does fly.

Time did not wait, for anyone.

And she is no exception to the law of nature.

This is where it was once started.

And she supposes this is where it should end.

Maybe because of that, maybe deep deep inside her realize that this is the end and she really wanted, really needed for the last time to truly say good bye. So she came here; her subconscious had leaded her here. To end all her misery.

Tear weld up at the corner of her eyes, yet this time she refuses to cry. “Is over”. Is all over and is all her fault. How could she let it all happened? How could she let it blown away? If only she could reverse back time…

“But that would never be.” She whispers the words against the wind. Her happiness had end today. The truths were there in front of her eyes. Yet why it seems too hard to except it? Too hard to denied it?

`Maybe because you wanted it to be you that beside him' Her inner voice whisper.

How ironic, and it all have to happen on her glory day nerveless. The day she was supposes to feel joy after all years of hard work and share it with her friends and family tonight. Why she had to met him just to loss him again? Why?

“There you are. I thought that you be here”

Her heart stops and its pray, `If this a dream. Please let me awake. I am not prepare for another heartbreak'

“Wha-What do you want Himura-SAN?”

But her prayers were left unanswered. Because no matter how hard she try to denied. The truth is and forever will be that she has already lost. She was late. And that he was already gone. She thought she feel a warm drop of tears escape from her lids. So she wipes the unseen tears. She would not appear weak. Not in front of him at less.

He flinches at the formality. That was not how he wish for the conversation to begin with, “Kaoru, it not what it seems. She is not what you think she is”

She laughs the bittersweet laugh before she turns and faces him whit voice that colder than ice, “Oh, and why should I believe you? God's, you are so pathetic. Isn't there any reasons that not start with `is not what it look like. You misunderstand' Puh-lease” she wiggles her finger, brushing him off while empathizing those words.

But inside her inner voice is screaming with agony,`Why, why did you come back? So you can see my miserable life? So you can laugh at my face?'

Yet the words did not escape from her lips so no one can hear it. “Leave me alone Himura. Just leave me alone. All men are the same” She was thinking to leave this place. Maybe, just maybe she can start all over again and leave this pain and memory behind.

`Just go. Go away. I can't stand the truth that you are happy without me. That I have to loss you… again'

“Kaoru, is really not what you think. You have misunderstand me! Let me explain” He shouts. A little desperate ending the statement, and it shown in his voice.

She turns to him, looking at him with her blue sapphire eyes that show her hatred, disbelieve and a little bit hope in it. She did not need him to tell her more lies just to comfort her. What she saw is the truth. She feels anger build within her. Did he think she was a fool? “Why? Because from what I see she could have been given births oh say in 8 month or so?”

“What are you talking about?” He looked thoughtful for a while before her accusing register in his brain, “Did you think me and that woman?” He point to himself and the air and couldn't help but to hold his laughter. “Kaoru, you aren't jealous because of her would you?”

`HELL YA' but her mouth yelled, “HELL NO. What would I be jealous of some women that would be big as a cow and could give birth any months from now?” she states it with a hint of anger and annoyance. She did not dare to look straight into his eyes. Instate, she look to her left. Leaning hotly against the tree trunk.

“Kaoru, she is a guy”

“Huh?” Ok, so that got her attention. She turns and saw Battosai was grinning his sexy grin. Dam him, how he knows she miss that grin of him? Her eyes narrow as one though across her, “Yeah right. And next thing you say that he like wearing cross dress and that's why she wear women pregnant dress today”

“Well, he is!” Battosai say almost shout defending himself. Sigh, women. Always jump to conclusion. Ah, but that was one of her attitude that he loved.

OoooooooooOoooooooooOOOOOooooooooOOooooooooooooooooo

FLASHBACK

“What are you doing here Kamtari?” He said icily

Ignoring the tone Kamatari answer with hurt mock voice, “Hey, didn't I tell you I was worry and search for you everywhere?” Kamatarai frown seeing no reaction from Battosai. An evil grin form at the corner of his mouth, “So… I WAS interrupting something wasn't I? Uh… tell me I didn't miss the romantic part” Kamatari hopping like a kid being given a candy

Battosai narrow his eyes at him, “Don't be ridicules. Nothing happened”

“I was not. I was being optimist to this situation”

Battosai rises an eyebrow now fully look at his appearance at the first time that evening, “What the hack are you wearing? You were not wearing a pregnant dress when we came. When do you change?”

Kamatari dust her dress proudly, “Don't you like my new outfit?”

“……”

Kamatari pout, “Fine, I just change after few minutes ago after we part. I want to know what the feelings that women have when they wore this pregnant dress. Beside, my new design theme is about pregnant dress. I want to experience the feeling of being pregnant, even though I can't. And I find it very comforting. Even they will look like a cow when pregnant but they don't have to fear, whit my new design they will look stunning. My dress will make them feels the `feeling' got that? the `feeling'? and I-” Kamatari stops his babbling when he saw Battosai not pay close attention to a single the words he said.

Instate he keep staring to the empty space where the blue porch was there a while ago. His lips in thin line and he have this faraway look written all over him.

“Hey, aren't you going after her?”

The voices drag his attention back to the current situation. He glances from the Kamatari to the now empty parking space. Something was eating his stomach leaving him with this empty feeling inside. He looks at the Kamatari again said in low hopeless tone, “Is none of your business. Beside, she can be anywhere by now”

Kamatari look at him with thoughtful expression, “Is she someone really special to you?”

Without answering he turns from him and walk away….

SMACK

To be smack with something with something heavy…

“Ouch, what ever that for Kamatari?” He shout, surprise. Rubbing the back of his head from the place Kamatari just smack him with his trusty heavy violate purse. Why does a purse have to be so hard? What he carries in that? Rock?

Instate Kamatari just wave off his whining, “To get some sense back into that thick skull of yours. Now I know why Hiko-sama always calls you his Baka deshi, because you are a baka! Look at you, how could you let her walk away without explain and let her get the wrong impression about us! You should after her if you care about her”

He look at Kamatri before heavily utter the next word, “Is not that I don't care about her. I do and that's why I did not chase her. I know she need time and space. Beside, we are only just and old equate and she probably hated me now.” He slide off his slave higher and glance at the new brand Rolex watch, “Saojiro and I are going to meet Mr. Yamada at 9.00 p.m. I batter called Saojiro. You know how armatures are and the deal is very important to the company- ”

WHAMP

“Ouch, now what's that for?” He rub the same place Kamatari hit him. How does he do that? Caught him off guard? Not once but twice?

“That, for being a big headed BAKA! How could you think of some stupid deal business and let that girl walked away from you?”

“That deal business is anything but stupid. It will determined my ability, my hard work-”

“Your hard work my ass” Kamatari curse, placing a hand on his hip. Staring at the men in front of him as he shifts in his spot, “Or are you just making an excuse because you were afraid of her? Afraid of her rejection?”

Battosai narrow his golden eyes, “I am not afraid of any sort of rejection” But even after he utters those words he found that he still did not move from that place. Like his feet been glue to the spot.

“Then why did you did not move yet? Prove to me that you are not afraid. Prove to me that she is important to you!”

Did he? Did he think that she is important than this business deal that will determine his future. Is either he chooses between his carrier and losses the girl of his dream forever…

Or run after the girl that which probably turn him down at the end and that means loss both the girl he loved all this years and his carrier at once.

But she did seem sincere when she wanted all to begin anew.

What would he do? Which he should choose? Both have its own risk. Did he dare to take the risk?

Shaking his head he dismisses the consequences. Of course he dares to take the risk, even if the percentage is 0.001 that she will be his. Is not the risk of failure that he was afraid off. Rather the fact that he must face the situation with Kaoru latter ALONE and explain the entire story to her that bothers him.

No that was not entirely true.

Explain is one thing, convinced her that this is all was not as it seems are another thing. He knew how stubborn that girl can be when she believes what in front of her eyes rather than trust her heart. Can he change her mind? Did he have the power to make her see and understand what really happened?

He doesn't know… His heart in doubt and lack of confidence to turn the table around.

In hesitance he changes the topic, “How about Saojiro?”

Kamatari look at him like he has been asking a ridiculous question in the world, which not far from truth. But seeing the restless way Battosai shifting in his spot, he needed no other question to know what is playing in his mind. “Tsk Tsk Tsk, Battosai, you know that Saojiro have more than one way to win that business deal. Beside, this is the kid chance to prove what he made off. If you worry THAT much, I think I can call someone that can be his `supervisor' just for tonight” He wink and pull a small blue Nokia handphone from his trusty purse. Dialing the familiar number.

He glances at him unsurely. Heart still debated whether he should go or not.

Kamatari frowns seeing him still standing there, unsure. He tap his sandal impatiently, catching his attention, “You know… if that the same women that you have been pin from five years ago, which from the way I see you act around her I think she is, you will loss her again if you did not do something. Don't let five years of regrets get wasted. You rather regrets forever than taking a chance of happiness?”

Battosai look at Kamatari though he did not show it, he wonder how he knew, “How do you know it was the same girl?” He asked curious.

Kamatari just smirk and wink playfully, “Is call an instinct. Beside, I never see you flush so much around any other women plus remember the day when you been describing about her? You know that night when you force us out and listen to your soap opera story-” At this he earn a death glare from Battosai but he just smirking at the threatening, “entire night while you let yourself drunk? Now how could I easily forget about that? Ah, good old days”

Battosai huff hotly before he let a small smiles escape his lips and shaking his head. Whatever should he do without his friends? He turns his heel and run to his car, “Thanks Kamatari. I own you one men”

Kamatari smiles while waiting for the tone to connect, then as the words register in him he angrily shouts back, “Don't call me MEN! Men's are Baka” He slaps his mouth. A stupid grin escape him when he totally forget that he IS a men himself.

“Hello?” A grumpy voices great him.

He smirks, “Hon, Is me Kama. I need a favor-”

END FLASHBACK

OOOooooooooooooOOOOOoooooooooOOOoooooooooooooOOOO

That was not what the answer she was waiting for. Searching his face, she read his amber eyes to trace the fact if he was lying to her and found none. Hope fills her heart and she almost smiles when again; before something crosses her minds that make her frown.

Battosai shift under her gaze. Something about her seems thoughtful… spell doubt and that always equal to trouble. He knew he must convince her somehow before she gets any more ideas.

She want to ask the question to him but afraid that she offend him somehow. She need be sure so that she can banish the jealous demon inside her, its now or never. Most importantly, she need to know if she still have a chance with him, for them, “…..are you telling me that you are a gay?” There, she finally says it. The question that nagging her heart so long since he admits the gander of his `friend'. Well not that too long because he JUST correct his friend gander. Er… but lets skip that though. Right now she got important matter on hands. She shifts when she saw his amber eyes widen before he explodes,

“WHAT? HELL NO! What makes you give that idea?” His face burn with a nice shade of red.

Ok, that was a relief. She did not realize that she was holding her breath this entire time. She raises one of her eyebrow when Battosai give that annoyance face like `You-didn't-just-think-what-I-think-what-you-think-of-what-I-am,-do you?' look. She can feel her face burn under his stare and knew that she was blushing, Gee, how was she supposed to know? With that caring slash friendly act back there, anyone would think like she think. Well, she didn't exactly SEE he was caring. But a glimps of his action back there that was more than enough to get that assumption, which she did not see much. Instate she held to her ground and question him, “Then why you look so-so close to him anyway?”

He actually looks flush for umph time that day and says quickly in one breath, “ilosspokerandisortapromisetobringhimtoyourshow”

“Huh? Pardon?” Ok, was it she or was it he had used the alien language again? Because she swore that she did not understand a word he said.

He gives her his annoying look again but then just sighs in defeated. He really didn't want her to know, “I loss in poker and I sorta promise to bring him to your show. After all, he was one of your fans and I can't say no since they made me sign an agreement to go to the show”

She looked disbelieve for a while. Battosai loss in poker? Now that something new. He hardly a loser or anything. In fact he is a winner type. He always wins with games. THAT she remember clearly. “You” She point to him and raise one eyebrow in disbelieve, “loss poker? Now that something new. Are you sure you the Himura Battosai that I knew?”

He look insult, “I was distract OK?” and whisper under his breath, “Be glad it was not a strip poker”

She however heard it and that makes her flush even more, an impure though of Battosai and ONLY with underwear flash in her mind that leaving her gaping, “Eh?”

“Never mind.” He sigh than continue totally clueless to her flushing face, “Like I say, he drag me to the show. He and I are only friends back in old day. Beside, I have a business to do that near the show place with a one of my office mate. We are meting a client after that. So I ascot him” Battosai leave the important part about the meeting will effect her future if he loss the client. But she didn't have to know that, he doesn't want her to blame herself incase anything happened. Let him be responsible for his action. But for now, being here with her was more than enough,

“Oh.” She was a little disappointment hearing his statement. “Don't you have to meet the client with him? We could meet again someday if you want. I write my number so you could phone me. You got pen and paper?” She hopes that her excuses to get rid of him was not that too noticeable. She need a time alone now, after all… his explanation explain everything. His was there just to accompany a friend and not because he is interested in her life or something. But she can't help but wonder, does this mean he is still mad at her and never wanted to do anything with her at all? And if not because his friend drag her he did not want too see her again? Didn't he miss her like she misses him all this years?

Wow… back up. Miss him? She stole a glance at him, `Ok, just a little. But he did not feel the same though' At this her shoulder slump tiredly.

Meanwhile he was eyeing the emotion across her face, from disappointment to embarrassment to hope and then to sadness and he wonder what trigger her to show her emotion strongly. And did she realize that she had showed it openly? But her offer did leave him disappoint a little, did he say something wrong that she want to be left alone? Or was it that she hated his appearance? After all, he the one that hurt her all this years. “You don't have to worry, Saojiro already take care of that. I have more important things do”

Her face look disappointed but still she smiles sadly, “Oh, I hope I was not in the way. You can leave if you want to. I will be leaving shortly anyway”

Shaking his head he sighs, “But my important business is here. My business is concern about… you “

“Eh?” Kaoru look at him surprise, “Me?”

Battosai smiles, “Kaoru, I… really miss you all this years”

Her eyes widen, could it be? “Does this mean we can start all over again?”

“………” Instate of answering he let his mind wonder. Turning around from her. This part really remind him the last day he with her, the part he walk away. He shakes his head at that thought. That was the past and this-this is the future.

Her face feels seeing him withdrawn from her, “Battosai? Are you not going to start all over again?” Her hope shattered, Does this mean he-

Turning back to her suddenly he flash those satisfactions grin of him, “Gomen Kaoru. But you should have looked at your face”

Ok, now she can feel a tantrum was about to come. “Baka!” She hit his chest with all her might, “That was SO NOT funny” A tears forming at the corner of her eyes. A happy relief tears.

He laughs, actually laugh after all this years before he grasp her wrist that was hitting him and earn a surprise gaps from her. Whit one hand still holding her wrist, his other hand move to her lower back, bringing her close to him. He bends down and kiss her soft lips.

Her tantrums die as soon as their lips met. She closes her eyes and surrender to the kiss. Both of her hand rest on top of his chest. How she miss him all this time.

He broke the kiss slowly, and stares at her sapphire eyes. His free hand caresses her creamy face slowly, “I love you” He whisper. His heart was pondering widely. He knows how she feels for him but she wants some assurance, afraid that she changes her mind. Even though action spoken louder than words. But sometimes words spoke louder than action. He needed this to work out, to hear that she love him too. He can't stand another day without her anymore. He is willing to gamble his life for the upcoming happiness that just a step away.

Her heart flips up and she can feel the warmness separate in her chest to every artery in her body and her soul hearing his statement. This is what she want, what she always dream off. “I love you too” She wanted to confess her feeling now because she doesn't want to loss him. Not again, not ever. She can feel he breath easily after her confession and know that it was all worthy, the pain and logging in all this years. She sighs and rests her face at the cork of his neck, inhaling his manly sense. Sand wood and a little hint of mint in it, she can feel his pondering heart where her hand rested. On top of his chest, beating loudly for her, for their reunion love. As fast as her, “Promises me that you never leave me.” She whispers against his neck.

He sighs on top of her head. His check rest against her skull. He hold her closer, how he longing to do that? Five years. Five long years, “I promises. As long as you want me. I always be yours”

“Then, I am keeping you forever”

He smirks at her confession. He was so relief. Relief that she had except him. That they can finally be together. Something cross his thought that make him frowns, “Does this mean you forgive me already right?”

She actually smiles at that. She almost forgot. She giggles and mutters a words “Baka” before snuggling closer in his embrace and let out a light she chuckles, “I have forgiven you. Long ago. The day when you say you love me”

“A….” He smiles, a true genuine smiles, “Arigato” He really mean it.

Kaoru was happier that they are together now. She wants nothing more but to be with him forever. She will treasure this love and never forget what had happened between them. She will give him and her the chance. They deserve it. She will remember the pain of longing of waiting and the happiness to be love, “Let's go home”

She will learn to forgive….

But never to forget….

-Owari-

A/N: Ok, is finally finish. Muahahahha, so you like the ending? (Because is the end so I will not make any review. Gominasai) Of course at the beginning I was thinking to be cruel and separate them but than I remember that there will be a fan of angry mop going to chase me and kill me later. So I guess this will do. Oh, one more important things since that I post this late, I post up two… TWO new story (It suppose to be 1-shot) as an apologies of my lazy habit. Oh well, got to go now and hope you enjoy the last chapter.

As always R&R and NO FLAMES!

Last post on: 29 July 2005