Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Golden Protection: The love of Battousai ❯ Fear and Exhaustion ( Chapter 2 )

A.N.: I want to thank those whose title suggestions I used and combined.

 

 

 

 

 

“She still avoiding you?” Sanosuke asked the red haired man as he moved to stand next to him.

 

“Hai,” Kenshin answered with a worried sigh as he continued to stare straight ahead.

 

Both men stood watching from a distance as the woman in question practiced alone in her dojo. Her movements were quick but sloppy and distracted giving away the tiredness she was trying to hide from the others. Had either of them been closer they would have seen the blankness of her eyes, the glassy blue orbs unable to maintain their focus.

 

“She's exhausted, that she is,” the rurouni said with a tired, resigned voice. “I wish she'd talk to me,” he confessed to his friend. “Tell me what was wrong, what happened.”

 

“Me too,” Sano said with a long, slow release of breath as he tried to expel the frustration he felt. “I saw her earlier this afternoon at the gate. I think she was intending to go shopping, she had a bucket for tofu with her.”

 

“Did she not leave?” Kenshin asked as he turned his violet eyes on the taller man. “There was no tofu.”

 

“She never left the gates, never even got them open,” Sano said without taking his eyes of Kaoru.

 

“What do you mean Sano?” Kenshin asked in worried surprise.

 

Finally taking his brown eyes off of the girl, he turned them on Kenshin, his expression serious and far beyond worried.

 

“I saw her try three different times to open the gate and step out. Each time she stopped, nearly in a panic. She looked terrified at the thought of leaving, especially on her own. It was weird though; I could hear her talking to herself, berating herself. She kept calling herself stupid and saying that nothing happened, that she shouldn't be afraid. With fear like that though,” his eyes turned back on the girl. “Something definitely did happen.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

It had been three days since she'd come home frightened. Three days that Kaoru had skillfully avoided talking to either Kenshin or Sano about what had happened that day. She had felt so stupid for her fear, but when time had passed and she had woken up, her fisted hand muffling her frightened screams. She hadn't been able to get back to sleep that night, her dreams haunted by what had happened and what her fearful imagination told her could have happened. She hadn't ever been touched in such a manner before and had only begun to think of Kenshin doing more than kissing her. But now she was afraid. So very afraid.

 

Kaoru stood in the dojo, the sky still dark; it was only an hour away from the morning twilight. She couldn't sleep, hadn't slept actually since that first night. She was beyond exhausted, but too frightened of what her dreams would hold to be able to sleep. It was stupid she knew it was stupid. Nothing had happened. How many times had she told herself that? She had no reason to be afraid; it was over and done with. Her mind just couldn't leave it be.

 

She shivered in the cold air; she'd felt nothing but the cold since her mad run home from the marketplace. She leaned her back against the wall of the dojo; her shoulder tucked against the corner and winced. She'd forgotten about those for a few moments. When she'd bathed the first time, the morning after her attack, she discovered that the man who had attacked her had left large nearly black bruises on her upper arms, the outlines of his fingers, thumbs and palm clearly visible. She couldn't stop her eyes from falling closed, or her descent into unconsciousness. Her knees buckled and she slipped down the wall, her knees drawn to her chest, her arms limp at her sides.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The morning was bright, the sun filling the cerulean sky with light. White clouds as full and fluffy as bits of freshly pulled cotton dotted the sky, covering and filtering the sun's bright light to a tolerable level. A soft splash of water could be heard among the chattering of squirrels as a red haired man stood in the open court yard of the Kamiya dojo. Rinsing the tan hakama belonging to Kaoru, Kenshin twisted the excess water out before hanging them up to dry.

 

“Hey where's Kaoru?” Yahiko asked as he saw Kenshin busily washing the laundry as he waited for the others to awaken.

 

“This one does not know, she must be in the dojo this morning. She was not in her room when I went to wake her, that she was not,” Kenshin said as he hung the clean clothes up to dry.

 

“Yeah right!” the kid boasted. “That lazy girl get up before us? Nuh-uh. I'll just go practice.”

 

Kenshin shook his head in amusement at the young boy as he turned his attention back to hanging the clothes and towels to dry. He knew that Kaoru had been avoiding him, but he also hoped that she would come to him when she was ready and so had not confronted her again about that day. The rurouni shook his head at himself.

 

Yahiko made his way into the dojo and turned swiftly when his ears caught the sound of soft, frightened whimpering. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head to see Kaoru huddled in the corner, her head bowed into her bent knees and her arms at her sides. It looked to the boy like she was shaking and shivering too. He made his way over to her cautiously. Was this some kind of weird test of hers?

 

He was on her again, attacking her again. This time though she wasn't held up against the side of one of the buildings. No this time she was thrown on the dirt road of the alley floor. He was on top of her, pinning her body down with his own. He held her legs open with one leg between them, his knee pressing tightly and intimately against her center. She screamed for help but no one came. She used her hands to push against his chest to throw him off, but it did nothing. He caught her hands easily, held her wrists together in one hand and pinned them to the ground above her head.

 

“Hey ugly,” he called to her as he neared her. If this was a test, he wasn't going to be taken by surprise. “Hey ugly, wake up,” he said, as he got closer.

 

The smell of alcohol on his breath repulsed her. The sound of his voice calling her loose and whorish shamed her. She could feel him tearing at her clothes again, his hands stronger than they had been before. She could feel and hear her clothes ripping, the air blowing across her skin cold and damning. She trembled beneath him like a frightened rabbit. Unable to do anything to stop him, she closed her eyes and cried silently. There was no one to help her, no one to save her.

 

She tried to block everything out, the sounds, the feelings. But just then, a voice called to her. It was a young voice, a male voice. She knew that voice. He was calling her name, telling her to wake up, that she needed to wake up.

 

“Kaoru?” he asked cautiously as he shook her shoulder.

 

Her response was immediate. Yahiko jumped back in surprise as Kaoru woke with a startled yelp and slammed herself back against the wall with an audible thump. Her eyes were wide and terrified; her breathing was ragged and mixed with whimpers.

 

“Kaoru?” he asked tentatively. What had just happened?

 

“Ya-Yahiko?” she asked and watched as the boy nodded slowly. Tears filled her eyes and she covered her face with her hands.

 

“What's wrong?” he asked her quietly as he stepped up to her again.

 

“N-Nothing, I'm fine,” she said her trembling voice muffled by her hands.

 

 

 

 

Kenshin frowned as his damp hands took up the woman's white gi. There were smudges of dirt on it that hadn't been there before. His nose wrinkled as the scent of alcohol touched his nose and he brought the cloth closer to his face.

 

“Better not let jou-chan catch you sniffin her clothes,” Sanosuke said as he stepped out of the main house and over to Kenshin.

 

The rurouni turned to his friend with a grateful smile. The man had been staying with them since the day Kaoru had come home so upset, and it was thanks to his influence and distractions that had kept Yahiko from tormenting Kaoru as much as he usually would. The curiously suspicious and worried look in his violet eyes drew the fighter closer.

 

“What is it?”

 

 

 

Kaoru sat stiffly in the far and shadowed corner of the dojo, her back straight against the wall. Her hands were pressed against her damp cheeks. Long somewhat calloused fingers covered her eyes as she tried desperately to restrain the silent though rapid tears she was shedding. Yahiko moved closer slowly and lent over her. At a loss for what else to do, he hesitantly wrapped his arms around her trembling shoulders and held her. The boy's attempt to comfort her only served to make her tears run faster, made her body shake and shiver more as her silent gasping breaths turned into broken, choked sobs.

 

Frightened by her reaction, Yahiko released her quickly as though she had burned him. Backing from her slowly, he watched as she curled in on herself. Her arms tucked tightly against her sides as she lowered her face, still covered by her hands, her forehead resting on her bent knees. Yahiko looked at her cautiously for another moment before running out of the dojo and heading straight for Kenshin, who at the moment was talking to Sano.

 

The fighter was holding Kaoru's gi in his hands, the same one that Kenshin had been holding moments before. His brow furrowed as he sniffed the cloth.

 

“Sake?” he asked Kenshin as he sniffed the cloth again. “It smells like…like a male scent,” he said as he fingered the smudges on the cloth. “What is this? It looks like dirt but it feels like oil or something.”

 

“Yahiko?” Kenshin asked as he saw the boy running toward him and Sano.

 

“What's wrong with Kaoru?” he asked without preamble.

 

“What do you mean?” the rurouni asked with a curious furrowing of his black brows.

 

“Well first Sano tells me not to bother her and now she's crying,” the boy said in frustration brought on by his confusion as to what all was going on.

 

“Where?” Kenshin demanded, his voice dropping an octave or two.

 

“The - dojo,” the boy said as he watched the rurouni stiffen and his eyes become hidden by his lengthy bangs.

 

 

 

Kenshin made his way into the dojo quietly. His eyes closed slowly when he saw the woman they all cared for sitting huddled in the dark corner as she cried. Gold speckled violet eyes opened and fell on Kaoru as he walked to her silently. Sitting down by her side, he wrapped his arms around her huddled form and lifted her to sit in his lap. Kissing her hair, he tucked her head into his left shoulder and rocked slowly as he whispered soft comforts to her.

 

 

 

Sano and Yahiko watched as Kenshin raced off to the location of the crying woman, his body taught as he moved like the battousai in battle. The red haired man was in a hurry and it irked the boy that both Kenshin and Sano seemed to know what was going on while he was still left in the dark. He wanted to know; didn't he have a right to know as a friend and student of the woman? Turning to Sano, his expression dark and demanding, Yahiko spoke.

 

“What's going on?”

 

Sano sighed, his eyes never leaving the now empty yard. “We don't know. Missy came home a few days ago scared spitless. She hasn't told either of us what happened and has pretty much avoided us since that day.”

 

“Did someone hurt her?” Yahiko asked worried.

 

Sano's eyes snapped to the boy. How had the boy thought of something so logical that both he and the rurouni had not? Sending Yahiko off to get Megumi and then telling him to stay at the Akkabeko and help Tae out until they joined him for dinner.

 

“I'm not a kid!” the boy shouted in anger.

 

“I know you're not Yahiko,” Sano placated him. “But I don't think she'd want you to find out what happened, at least not yet. So go ok, let us take care of her for right now.”

 

“You promise you'll take care of her?” Yahiko asked his eyes fierce and protective.

 

“Yeah kid, I promise,” Sano said with a seriousness not often heard from him. “Go get the fox.”

 

Though he was clearly not pleased, Yahiko did as asked and ran off to go send Megumi to the dojo. Once the boy was out of sight, Sano moved quickly to the dojo containing Kaoru and Kenshin. Walking in, he made certain to slip off his black slipper like shoes, his wrapped feet moving silently over the tatami covered floor.

 

Cinnamon brown eyes looked on in silence at the sight of Kaoru being cradled in Kenshin's lap as the red haired man held her and rocked her as she cried. The once deadly assassin was doing his best to comfort the trembling woman, but his efforts seemed in vain as her tears continued to fall. Sano couldn't help the growl that rumbled in his chest and escaped his throat, the sound both possessive and protective. This girl, no this woman, she was his family now and he be damned if he didn't protect her or wasn't there when she needed him.

 

Moving closer to the seated pair, he knelt on the floor. The raging emotions of anger and fierce protectiveness inside of him caught him off guard. The question he'd wanted to ask her calmly came out sounding like an angry accusation and he cursed himself seconds after it left his lips.

 

“Who Kaoru?” he nearly growled the question.

 

Deep violet eyes snapped up to his own deep chocolate, silently reprimanding him for the way he asked the question. Cursing softly at himself under his breath, Sano moved closer and sat down beside Kenshin, his hand going to Kaoru's hair that had been unbound by the rurouni. Petting the dark locks gently in long slow strokes, Sano waited to speak until the girl looked up at him.

 

“Sano?” Kaoru asked with a sniffle accompanied by an embarrassed blush at being found crying by not one, but both her male friends and her student.

 

“Yahiko asked me something jou-chan,” he said to her gently as he kept up his soothing petting of her hair. “What he said surprised me, because I hadn't even thought of it. But I'm going to ask you the same thing he asked me. Did someone hurt you?”

 

Kaoru's lips parted as she released a startled gasp, neither of them had asked her that. Kenshin's eyes turned to her quickly, gold flecks speckling the violet color and making it shimmer. The rurouni was mad that he hadn't thought of it either, and even more furious at the way the woman in his arms bowed and nodded her head slowly.

 

“It's stupid really,” she said her voice trembling. “I shouldn't be this upset, it wasn't like he actually did anything more than scare me but…” her voice trailed off as she shivered and felt her self wrapped tighter in Kenshin's arms.

 

“Who hurt you?”

 

Kenshin silently thanked Sano for taking over the questioning, he didn't trust himself not to growl the words.

 

“I don't know,” she said softly as she looked up at her spiky haired friend. “I've never seen him before. I don't even think he would've done anything had he not been so drunk.”

 

“It doesn't matter if he was drunk or not jou-chan,” the fighter said gently and leaned in to press a brotherly kiss to her forehead. “What did he do?”

 

Sano watched quietly as Kaoru's eyes became half lidded with her exhaustion. The fear and embarrassment the memory of that day brought up made her want to hide. Kaoru worried the flesh of her bottom lip between her teeth as she rested her cheek against Kenshin's shoulder. One small hand gripped his arm next to her chin, her need for reassurance of his presence nearly over whelming.

 

She could never remember having been so scared like this before. Normally when something frightened her, her temper would awaken and take over, her fear turning to fire. It was one of the reasons she was so grateful that she had such a volatile temper. Kaoru felt Kenshin's breath rustle against the hair on top of her head as he tightened his arms around her a bit. As the rurouni began stroking her hair once more, she looked up at Sano, their eyes meeting as she began to speak.

 

“I was at the market, getting food for us,” she began softly.

 

Her eyes squeezed closed as she lowered her face for a moment.

 

“This is so stupid, I shouldn't be this afraid.”

 

She felt Kenshin tuck her more securely into his arms and felt him rest his cheek against her hair, his breath rustling her bangs. Opening her eyes, she took a deep breath that failed to calm her and resumed her tale.

 

“It was so busy that day, more so than usual. I'd just come from teaching at the Hijimanji dojo…I was trying to avoid a large group of rowdy boys by slipping in between the buildings. There was a man…he grabbed me, caught me off guard. He pinned me up against the side of one of the buildings,” Kenshin's arms tightened around her more and she was thankful for it. “He…he was so strong, I tried to fight him off but I couldn't even make him budge.”

 

Sano lifted his hand to Kaoru's cheek, brushing away a few fallen tears. He let her small hand grasp his fingers and hold his hand against Kenshin's arm as she resumed her story.

 

“He pulled at my gi, said things,” she whispered shamed. She couldn't bring herself to repeat the man's words. “He touched me, with his hand, with his knee. He never went beneath my clothing,” she assured them and herself. “He passed out from the alcohol before anything could happen. He just scared me,” she said again as she tried to fight away the new wave of tears that wanted to fall. “That's all he did, he just scared me. I shouldn't be this afraid.”

 

Kenshin closed his now bright golden eyes. If he found that man, well may the Kami have mercy on his soul because the Hitokiri Battousai would not. He knew she was in his arms, he could feel the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, his hold so secure. But even still, he needed to know that she was there with him. Turning Kaoru gently, he leaned her back, tucked her in a cradling hold against his right shoulder, her legs draped over the left side of his lap.

 

Sano watched as Kenshin whispered to Kaoru. The rurouni spoke to her softly, whispered to her that she was safe. She shivered in his arms and cuddled closer as he assured her she was safe from any harm.

 

“I'm cold,” she said with a shivering breath.

 

“Cold?” he asked her as she curled closer to him, tucked herself against his chest.

 

It was a warm day, balmy almost for the fall. She shouldn't be cold. Kenshin wrapped her up tighter in his arms as she continued to shiver and tremble against him.

 

“Ever since that day,” she said with tired eyes. “I've been so cold. I can't get warm.”

 

“How long has it been since you've slept?” Sano asked her as he took off his gi and tucked it around her shoulders with Kenshin's help.

 

“Every time I close my eyes,” she said and hid her face in the magenta cloth covering the rurouni's upper body as she yawned. “I see his face. My mind plays tricks on me.”

 

“How long?” Kenshin asked as he cradled her body against his chest.

 

“Three days,” she said softly and bit her bottom lip between her teeth.

 

Her blue eyes were wide as she looked up at the red haired man. The normally jewel tone depths were muddied and dull with her exhaustion. Tucking the side of her face into his shoulder, Kenshin rocked her and whispered to her until her eyes fell closed and she slept. He knew her rest would not be peaceful or deep, but he hoped that whatever sleep she gained would do her some good. Bending his head, he touched his forehead to hers lightly and was not pleased with what he found.

 

“She has a fever,” he said softly. “Not much of one, but it's there.”

 

“Probably from her lack of sleep,” Sano said as he and Kenshin stood, Kaoru cradled in the rurouni's arms. “Take her to bed. I sent Yahiko to get Megumi she should be here soon. I'll wait for her.”

 

Kenshin nodded and carried the sleeping woman into the house and into his room. He was glad he hadn't folded up his bedding and futon this morning as he gently, carefully laid her down on the soft bedding. Covering her with his blankets, he sat down near her head and watched her as she slept, one hand entwined with hers.

 

 

 

 

“Hey fox,” Sano greeted his normally teasing and carefree tone flat and guarded.

 

“Yahiko said that something's wrong with Kaoru,” the woman doctor said, her face concerned. “He seemed upset.”

 

Sano nodded and stood up from his seat on the porch. Making certain she was following him; he turned and led her inside.

 

“Did something happen to her?” Megumi asked as she saw Sano bypass Kaoru's room completely and lead her down the hall to Kenshin's.

 

“What would make you ask that?” Sano asked tonelessly as he quietly knocked on the closed door.

 

“Yahiko said that he thought someone had hurt her,” she replied in concern.

 

“Has she slept any?” Sano asked Kenshin when the man opened the door.

 

“Not really,” he said with a sigh. “She's awake.”

 

Kenshin stepped aside and let the two people in as he made his way back to the woman sitting up in his futon. Megumi knelt at Kaoru's side, worried at the way the younger woman had the blankets wrapped around her body, nearly cocooning her slight form. The dark circles under her eyes a clear testament to her exhaustion. Sano dressed in his gi when Kaoru handed the white cloth back to him and he stroked her hair once before leaving the room with Kenshin to allow Megumi time alone to examine and talk with Kaoru.

 

 

 

 

“I want someone with her every time she goes into town,” Kenshin said as he sat on the porch next to Sano. “Even if it's just Ayame and Suzume.”

 

“I agree with you on that,” Sano said. “Why do you think it took her so long to tell us?” he asked with a worried frown.

 

“You heard her Sano,” Kenshin said his voice low. “How many times did she call herself `stupid' for her fear? There is also an element of shame involved. Someone touched her in such a way without her consent,” he growled the last bit.

 

“And in doing so awakened the battousai,” the fighter said wisely.

 

 

 

“Kenshin,” Megumi called as she stepped out of the house and onto the porch.

 

“Yes Miss Megumi,” the man asked as he stood and turned to face her.

 

“Could you heat the water for the bath? I'd like to see if that will help Kaoru warm up.”

 

Kenshin nodded and turned to walk away, stopping a moment later to look at the lady doctor. “Did she tell you?”

 

“Yes,” the woman nodded morosely. “Sano,” she turned her attention to the fighter. “Could you carry Kaoru to the bath, she's too tired to walk.”

 

“If she's that tired is it such a good idea to leave her alone in a bath?” he asked worried.

 

“I'll be there with her to make sure nothing bad happens. Right now, though I need to try and warm her some. Her face is fevered but her hands, chest and feet are positively frozen. Once I know she's ok on her own in the bath then I want to talk to you two about something, alright?”

 

Both men nodded before the golden eyed battousai moved off to start the bath fire. Sano turned and walked inside. Coming to Kenshin's room, he found the door slightly open, the girl inside shivering inside the warm blanket she was wrapped in. Opening the door further, he stepped inside and went to sit by her side.

 

“Hey jou-chan,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her, rubbing his hands up and down her arms to warm her.

 

“Hey Sano,” she said softly and leaned into his chest as he hugged her.

 

“The fox tells me you're tired and need a lift to the bath,” he said as he held her.

 

Kaoru nodded against his shoulder, burrowing into the warmth and safety his body and presence provided. The fighter held her tighter, moving her to sit in his lap as he waited for Kenshin to tell him that the water was warm enough for her. The girl shivered and burrowed deeper into his arms as he stroked her hair.

 

“Its ok jou-chan, Sano-niisan is here.” He kissed her hair and rocked her slightly as he held her. “You just close your eyes and get some sleep ok? I'll wake you for your bath.”

 

“Ok,” she agreed in a whisper as she tucked her face into his warm neck and let her eyes fall closed tiredly.

 

“Sano,” Kenshin entered his room nearly a quarter hour later. “The bath is ready for her,” his words fell slowly as he saw the girl they were all worried about sleeping in the fighter's arms. “How long has she been out?” he asked as he knelt in front of Sano.

 

“Not long.”

 

 

 

 

“You'll be alright?” Megumi asked the woman in the hot water.

 

“I'll be fine, thank you,” Kaoru assured her as she leaned back against the wall of the wooden tub.

 

“Ok, call for one of us when you're ready to get out.”

 

Kaoru nodded and closed her eyes as she tried to gain warmth from the heated water. She heard the soft shushing sound the shoji door made and the click as it closed. Megumi unwrapped her hair as she stepped out into the orange glow of the late day sun. She breathed out a sigh as she walked over to where the two men stood beneath a tree.

 

“How is she?” Kenshin asked as he saw the woman coming toward them.

 

“Better, but not well. She's so cold because she can't sleep and her body doesn't have enough energy to keep her warm. She can't sleep because she's afraid and doesn't feel safe. Normally I wouldn't recommend such a thing,” she said eyeing both men. “But until she's doing better, I want the two of you to sleep with her.”

 

“Sleep with her?” Sano asked with wide eyes.

 

“Not like that rooster head,” the woman said. “Sleep with her between you both at night. Your combined body heat will warm her, and your presence will comfort her. I've given her a tea to help her sleep, but I doubt it'll have any effect if she's too frightened of her dreams to sleep.”

 

A sleepy voice called from the bath house and Megumi turned to go to her when she was passed by Kenshin. She watched, her brown eyes wide as the red headed man went into the bath house without a word to any of them.

 

“The battousai's been awakened,” Sano explained to Megumi. “His eyes have been gold ever since Kaoru told us what happened.”

 

Megumi shook her head slightly as she watched Kenshin reappear moments later with Kaoru in his arms.

 

“She's the only one that could ever make him break his vow not to kill.”

 

 

 

 

Kenshin made dinner, spending the meal in his room with Kaoru as Sano and Megumi ate together at the table. Once she was done eating, Kenshin moved her to lie back on his futon and covered her with the blankets.

 

“She's ready to sleep,” he said softly as he carried the tray of empty dishes into the kitchen and out them in the basin to soak.

 

“I'll see you two tomorrow,” Megumi said after thanking Kenshin for the meal. “Yahiko will be staying with me tonight.”

 

Kenshin nodded and let Sano walk her to the gate and close and lock the doors for the night. When Sano returned to the house and after locking the doors returned to Kenshin's room, he found the red headed man already spooned behind Kaoru as the woman slept lightly. Smiling softly at the sight they made, Sano blew out the candle and slipped into the futon beside the sleeping woman.

 

“Does she know about this?” Sano asked as he pillowed Kaoru's head on his chest and wrapped an arm around her, the other pillowing his own head.

 

Kenshin nodded as he spooned himself closer to Kaoru and buried his face in her thick hair as he let himself fall asleep. Sano watched the two for a short time. The woman was a sister to him, but to Kenshin, well she was the battousai's woman, that much was clear. But he wondered how the rurouni felt about her. Had that part of Kenshin's personality let himself admit to needing her? Deciding to think about such things at another time, Sano closed his eyes and wrapped both his arms around Kaoru as he too fell asleep.