Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ I Bid You Farewell ❯ I Bid You Farewell ( Chapter 1 )

I Bid You Farewell

 

By: RedHairRurouniFan

 

Author's Notes: This is a fic in Kenshin's POV. It is his thoughts as he bid farewell to Kaoru. I've always wanted to know how he felt when he said goodbye to Kaoru. His words, eyes, and motions portray no message. This fic was actually inspired by a poem I was writing at the time called “Kyoto Farewell.” I have read many fics talking about Kenshin and Kaoru's true thoughts as they met for the first time, when they first saw each other in Kyoto, etc. I've read none about this though. So, here's another thought fic, hope you like it!

 

I was sitting in the forest by my fire, and with nothing else to do, remembered my goodbye to Kaoru. I closed my eyes and began to reminisce.

 

 

Begin Flashback:

 

I carefully hid behind the wall as I listened to Kaoru bidding Sanosuke and Megumi-dono goodnight. I wanted to catch Kaoru alone. I could sense her distress. I knew it was because I wasn't back yet. I could fool the rest of my friends with my act of not leaving for Kyoto, but I couldn't fool Kaoru. A few seconds after they were out of earshot and seeing distance, I stepped out of the shadows. Past memories hit me like a punch in the gut. Memories of my hitokiri days flooded back. And not only because I was taking on another assassination, but because I had stepped out of the shadows. So many nights I'd stepped out from the shadows and casted tenchuu upon my unsuspecting victims. I never imagined I would ever have to do that ever again. Now my heart was heavy as I saw Kaoru. She turned calling out my name in a relieved voice. I could tell she was worried. When she saw my expression and sad smile, her face fell and her eyes filled with sadness. Before I gave her a chance to speak, I asked about Yahiko. She explained he was in bed. I stated matter of factly, that Lord Okubo was assassinated that morning. She responded that she had heard. I informed her that Shishio's men were the true killers. She tensed, as if knowing my response already. I did not wish to say it, but I spit it out anyway. I said that they couldn't be allowed to run loose, and that I was off to Kyoto. I hated myself more and more, with every word I spoke. What I really wanted was to stay in Tokyo with Kaoru. She fearfully asked if I would assassinate him. But, her fear was not of me and death, but for me. My life. I did not know, and I told her so. I also informed her that deep inside me, the hitokiri still lives. Her reaction was not as I anticipated. She did not shrink back in fear but instead, she grabbed my shoulders and said, I could turn back, no matter how close I got, I was still me. I explained to her sadly that when Battousai emerged to fight Jin-e, it was out of a desire to rescue her, but with Saitou, it was just to fight him. I realized that time has begun to flow once more, and that each incident would involve Kaoru and the others more and more. Standing still was no longer permitted. I repeated her words from when we first met, “I don't care about people's pasts.” It was an amazing thing, for someone to not care who I used to be, but I am only Hitokiri Battousai to everyone else. Not Himura Kenshin. I needed to show her how I felt. On impulse, I reached over and hugged her. She felt so good against me, she smelled so good. I told her, “Thank you for everything, and Sayonara. This one is rurouni. Once again, this one will drift.” Then I let her go, turned, and left. I heard her fall to her knees behind me and call out my name, in tears. But… I couldn't turn back. On that day, I left them all behind, and prayed they would forget me and move on with their lives. Without me. I felt as though a chunk of my heart had been cut out of my chest as I walked away, but… there was nothing I could do. Leaving was the right thing to do. I walked out of their lives and into the darkness to wander again, alone. I thought, “Kaoru, be happy and forget me. I love you. Please be happy.”

 

End Flashback

 

“Kaoru, please be happy.” Kenshin whispered to himself as he looked up at the stars.

 

The End