Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Joy and Pain ❯ Joy and Pain ( One-Shot )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

JOY AND PAIN
A Rurouni Kenshin Challenge ficlet

Written by Miyu, Vampire Princess


CHALLENGE: week 30 character challenge - write a story on the thoughts and feelings for a loved one from the character's point of view...or something like that.

AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Told from Kenshin's point of view. Bits of lime, but no lemon. I tried, really I did! Damn Kenshin for being a good little samurai!

DISCLAIMER:
I do not own Kenshin or another character mentioned in this story. The characters and likenesses belong to one Nobuhiro Watsuki. I'm simply borrowing them for my own amusement.




It's times like this where my joy is accompanied by a heartache that will not go away. When the past comes back to haunt me, and I cannot fight the rush of emotion each memory brings.

There was a time when I felt at home. Was comfortable living with another. I was young, head-strong. I believed that I was making my own future. In certain ways, I was. Carving ideals through a sword blade. My immaturity led me down a rough path. A rocky road of killing and bloodshed.

A path only smoothed over by the presence of another. By her calm demeanor. By her hard work and dedication.

By her love.

Love. The word seems foreign, describing a number of emotions rather than just one. As a teenager I knew nothing of the subject. Certainly the facts were there. How could they not given the company of men I was forced to keep?

But while the movements were familiar, the emotion was not. There was much confusion at the beginning. I had no idea what to say, or how to go about anything. So I stuck with what I knew. How to live. How to survive.

A woman such as she should never have been thrown into my lifestyle. Educated and intelligent, she was surely destined for a better life. I took away that life. Even still, she deserved better than me. Better than I could offer.

I was touched when she told me she loved me. Aroused and excited as she put the emotion and the movements together. My brain did not comprehend right away that I, too, was in love.

But I did love her. Even as she died by my very hand.

It was so obvious. The pain from her loss hurt so badly. Physical pain that would have incapacitated me if I let it. There was much struggling, but I vowed to move on. To kill no more. To prove that her love, her life, did not disappear in vain.

I became a rurouni.

To this day I carry with me all that she taught me. I have even learned how to better put the emotion and movements together. I thought I had learned everything there was to know about love.

I was wrong.

"Kenshin, are you ready?"

"Hai, I just need a second."

I did not expect to feel love after Tomoe. I did not want the pain, the aching heart that I knew would surely follow. I did not want to bring anyone else the same feeling of hurt that I had experienced.

"Hurry it up! People are waiting."

"I will be only a moment."

My eyes were reopened by the heart of another. A woman with strong convictions, and an open heart. So full of caring and compassion, and an ability to find forgiveness in herself. It had been too long since this one had seen those abilities in another human being. How could I, when I could not even find them within myself?

It took me a long time to realize the familiar emotions. And when I did, I held back. For her sake as well as my own. Even when her emotions came on so strong, I hid from her how I truly felt. Hid from the devil still locked inside of me.

"Kenshin, they're ready to start."

The day she unlocked the devil, proving her devotion to us both, that was the day my heart opened. The emotions poured forward, and they have not stopped since.

"I am finished. Let's not keep our guests waiting."

"Right."

To my surprise, the emotion was the same, but the movements were slightly different. The tables had been turned as the former student became the teacher. I wonder if my inexperienced touch caused a rush of joy through my previous partners blood. Curious if my uncertain caresses caused her to utter my name in her head, over and over again.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Never more certain about anything in my life, Sano."

I knew from experience how fragile a thing we had. There were times when fear almost got the better of me. Challenges have been many and our enemies are too many to count. Yet through it all she has stood by me. Determined not to let me escape, even when it may have been easiest for both of our hearts.

"Everything's ready! Good luck, Kenshin."

"Arigato, Yahiko."

Her love, her devotion. I am far from deserving. But she has stood by me. The least I can do is return the favor. I do not think this one could live without her. I cannot imagine, cannot fathom what the future would be like.

The pain would be great.

No. It would be greater than before.

"Let's get you hitched!"

Kamiya Kaoru, I love you.

Forgive me, Tomoe. Smile upon us on our wedding day. Bless us with good weather and wish us happiness.

Perhaps someday I will be able to properly thank you for taking such good care of a young man's pain, bringing him so much joy.

I only hope I can do the same for her.

~FIN~