Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Judge Megumi ❯ The Verdict ( Chapter 4 )

Judge Megumi

Megumi looked around the courtroom, her eyes lingering appreciatively on a tall man in sunglasses and a large red hat. She cleared her throat. “Ladies and gentlemen of the audience...” She again eyed the man in the red hat... “emphasis on the gentlemen of the audience...” Fox ears momentarily popped out of her head and she giggled. “Anyway, seeing as how my patient died during the commercial break, there s no longer any reason to rush this trial. However, since I'm bored, we're going to anyway. So, using the most advanced scientific method and fair reasoning, I will determine who the winner of this case is.” She pulled out a large coin.

Before she could flip the coin, a voice out of nowhere announced, “Smile! You're on Gundam Camera!”

Everyone looked around, startled at the voice from nowhere.

Soujiro shrugged and smiled. “Wasn't me this time!”

The man in the red hat looked back and noticed a screen in the back of the room. He turned into a large hellhound and ran over, pulling the screen away and exposing Gundam pilot, Duo Maxwell.

Duo looked at the dog and screamed. “Hey! You're not Toto! Heero! There's a scary dog with lots of eyes staring at me!”

Heero Yuy stood up in the audience as Duo ran toward the bench.

The dog turned back into the nosferatu, Alucard.

Heero smirked at the vampire. “Don't worry. My gun's bigger than his gun.”

Duo, now over the shock, smiled and commented, “So anyway, back to Gundam Camera... See, guys, I told you the surveillance equipment could be used for more interesting things than tracking Oz.”

Quatra and Trowa, also in the audience, exchanged embarrassed looks as they each remembered exactly what else Duo had recorded with that equipment.

Duo grinned. “Yeah, so this has all just been a hoax! You're on TV!”

Several people just looked around in confusion, wondering what a TV was. Several others grabbed reverse blade ginshu knives (which had come free with their purchase of a Bow Flex) and proceeded to chase Duo around the courtroom.

Hiko took a big swig of sake and kicked back, commenting, “So, does this mean I'm acquitted?”

Misao ran up to Aoshi, exclaiming, “Isn't it great, Aoshi-sama? We weren't against each other after all!”

Aoshi looked helplessly around, wondering if he could convince the mob to stab him with a knife.

Megumi sighed. “Does this mean my patient didn't really die?”

“Nope,” Soujiro said brightly. “He's dead.”

Kenshin hid under the table, stating, “Violence will not solve anything, that it will not!”

Everyone ignored him.

Soujiro cut in as announcer once again. “Next time on Judge Megumi: The Meiji Government versus Gundam Theater's: Gundam Camera. Amusing hoax or violent bloodbath? You be the judge! At eleven.”

Soujiro smiled as the screen went to credits.

 

THE END (we think)

 

Multiple Choice Disclaimer: (Please pick one)

We do not own:

a) chickens

b) Kentucky blue grass

c) ginsu knives, Gundam Wing, Rurouni Kenshin, Judge Judy, Hellsing, The Wizard of Oz, Victoria Secrets, Mr. Clean, Bo-Flex

d) any of the above

 

Author's note 1: We do not have anything against lawyers, homosexuality, or cross-dressing. We do not condone: the use of large mallets or any other kitchen equipment in order to beat and/or bludgeon other people, regardless of how stupid they are. We also do not condone drug pushing, drug use, alcoholism, abuse of any kind or pyronecrobeasteophileism.

 

Disclaimer 2: We claim no rights to the term pyronecrobeasteophileism (which our friend invented) and we don't want any rights to it, thank you very much.

 

Author's note 2: Stay tuned for further episodes (maybe) such as Shishio versus the damned Imperialist Meiji government writers.

 

Author's note 3: To understand random references used in this fic (not that it's necessary), please read our other fictions: “The Rurouni Kenshin Infomercial” and “Gundam Theater Presents: Hamlet” as well as SiriusFan13's fiction, “My Gun is Bigger than Your Gun.”

 

Author's note 4: Eat your vegetables, so you can grow up big and strong and not demented like us.

Hiko cuts in, commented, “Better yet, drink your sake and you'll be big and strong and adored by women like I am.”

DumbledoresDelight: Hiko... We're not supposed to promote alcoholism. See author's note 1. (hits Hiko on head with mallet borrowed from Tira Misu) Wait! Crap! That was also part of author's note 1! No mallets! Scratch that!

 

Disclaimer 3: By the way, We don't own Sorcerer Hunters either.

 

Hiko lies on ground, swirly-eyed while Kamatari tries to revive him, saying “Quick! I'll do CPR!”

Hiko springs up, miraculously recovered.

 

Author's note 5: Please feel free to tell us what you think the verdict should have been!

 

Chibi Kenshin appears.

Kenshin Says:

Please review!

Shishio Says:

Or else... (evil Shishio laugh)

 

THE END (for real... we think...)