Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Keeping Balance ❯ Too funny ( Chapter 7 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: kitsune07200 
Much humor.
Anime/Manga: Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Supernatural / Romance / Hentai / Adventure / Action | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 01.02.2008 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.5K | Visits: 415 | Status: Work In Progress
Much humor.
Anime/Manga: Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Supernatural / Romance / Hentai / Adventure / Action | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 01.02.2008 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.5K | Visits: 415 | Status: Work In Progress
A/N: Hello! I am an all time SaitouxKenshin fan and I rarely see any fics with these two together...so BEHOLD! Please review and let me know what you think! ^_^
******************************************************************* *******************
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Rurouni Kenshin! I only wish I did.
Warning: SaitouxKenshin, violence, torture, attempted rape, yaoi= MANSEX, and fowl language when my characters get pissed.
Summary: Kenshin Himura is an upstanding detective and single father. Everything seems to be going wonderfully until certain circumstances force him and his family to flee to New York where he is partnered with the mysterious Hajime Saitou. After that things take a turn for the bizarre, leaving our poor rurouni thinking he’s on a one way trip to the loony bin. Can Kenshin discover what’s going on before he goes into mental collapse?
AU
******************************************** ******************************************
“So why did you decide to lie to your new boss?” Sanosuke asked with a glare.
“I did not lie. Enishi was pissed off when I arrested Tomoe, and that was probably what set him off. I didn’t think every bit of information concerning my attack was that important,” Kenshin stated.
“The man tried to rape and kill you kenshin,” Sanosuke stated.
“Look Sagara, it’s already hard enough to establish respect among the ranks do to my age. It would only be that much harder if I came in the weepy victim. Do me a favor and don’t say anything,” Kenshin said glancing at his friend in warning.
“Alright, but if the information is needed at a certain time don’t expect me to lie about it,” Sanosuke stated.
“Fine,” Kenshin said pulling into the parking place in front of the apartment complex.
--
“Are you alright Misao?” Aoshi asked stepping into his mates office.
She wiped away the tears that had fallen and smiled.
“Fine, it was just a bit overwhelming,” Misao sniffled.
“I know Koishi. You must never mention his past life to him. This Himura is not the same we remember,” Aoshi said walking over and pulling Misao against him.
“I know,” Misao said leaning up and kissing her mate passionately.
“This reminds me...weren’t we doing something before we were interrupted?” Aoshi said kicking the door closed and quickly locking it.
“Yes...yes we were,” Misao stated with a sly smile.
--
“Alright lets unpack all this stuff so we can go get something to eat,” Kenshin said cutting through the tape keeping the box closed.
“This is gonna take forever!” Kenji whined.
“Not if you help me,” Kenshin stated.
“But I wanna go see the Statue Of Liberty! Or the Empire State Building! Or explore that huge park!” Kenji whined louder.
“Not until we get all this stuff put away and organized,” Kenshin said firmly opening another box.
“Your mean!” Kenji yelled stamping a foot.
“Kenji Himura stop throwing a tantrum and go put your stuff where it belongs,” Kenshin said in a hard tone.
“Fine! But I’m not talking to you anymore!” Kenji cried running to his room and slamming the door.
Kenshin sighed and started putting away the pots and pans in the kitchen cabinets. An hour and half went by and almost everything was put away. Kenji hadn’t come out of his room or made a sound during this time. Kenshin glanced at his son’s door worriedly. He walked over and gave the door a soft knock. When he received no answer he opened the door and looked in. Not a single box had been unpacked and Kenji was out cold on his bed. Kenshin shook his head and gave a soft chuckle at his son’s defiance. He quietly opened the boxes and put the stuff away. He felt a little guilty about uprooting his son and moving him to such a busy and loud place. He finished putting everything in Kenji’s room away, and then finished putting away the few things left in the living room. Kenshin flopped down on the couch and closed his eyes. He opened his eyes when he heard tiny steps approaching him finding a solemn Kenji.
“Sorry daddy,” Kenji said quietly.
“It’s my fault. You didn’t get your nap today, and you get grumpy when you don’t so don’t worry about it,” Kenshin said sitting up and giving his son a hug.
“Can we go to the park now?” Kenji asked.
“Yes we can, get your coat,” Kenshin said smiling when his son shot off like a bullet.
--
“I’m telling you Fox! That bastard is up to something!” Sanosuke ranted for the hundredth time.
“Sano it will be fine. Kenshin is a big boy he can handle himself,” Megumi stated with amusement.
“Against a human yes Kenshin would have no problem, but against a wolf I doubt it,” Sanosuke stated.
“Now Sanosuke, I know Saitou is not the nicest person, but he is an honorable man and wouldn’t abuse his power in such a way,” Megumi chastised.
“HONORABLE MAN! HONORABLE! THAT SACK OF SHIT IS ANYTHING BUT HONORABLE!” Sanosuke shouted.
“Sanosuke Sagara just because you don’t like the man doesn’t give you the right spit on his good name,” Megumi growled.
“Your right Megumi...I should just spit on him not his name,” Sanosuke said with a smile just thinking about it.
“You are hopeless,” Megumi stated picking up a book to read.
“Horny too,” Sanosuke said heatedly in her ear causing her to jump.
“Too bad,. I don’t sleep with three year olds,” Megumi stated going back to her book.
Sanosuke grinned wickedly before tossing the book away from his mate and pouncing on her.
“SANOSUKE YOU HOUND!” Megumi laughed.
--
“I like it here. The hospital was nice,” Shinta stated putting away a few books.
“It’s so crowded here though,” Kaoru said putting away the dishes.
“You’ll get used to it, at least for a while,” Shinta said with a smile opening another box.
“But the people here are so loud and obnoxious!” Kaoru whined.
“You should fit right in,” Shinta mumbled.
Shinta suddenly found him self on the floor after a pan crashed into the back of his head.
“I HEARD THAT!” Kaoru shouted.
“Sorry my love,” Shinta said meekly.
“DAMN RIGHT YOU ARE!” Kaoru growled slamming things around in the kitchen.
Shinta chuckled quietly and continued to empty boxes
--
Sanosuke groaned when he heard someone pounding on his door. He rolled over in the bed and felt around for his wife. He opened his eyes discovering she was gone. He growled in annoyance as he jerked on some pants before answering the door.
“Morning sunshine,” Kenshin said handing Sanosuke some coffee.
Kenshin was attired in a plain white-t-shirt and blue jeans, with a blue jean jacket.
“What time is it?” Sanosuke asked taking a drink of the coffee and immediately fanning his tongue after swallowing the scalding liquid.
“It’s eleven thirty, and careful that’s hot,” Kenshin said amused.
“Hehe funny,” Sanosuke said with narrowed eyes.
“I thought we should go to the station now considering the traffic we will undoubtably encounter,” Kenshin said taking a drink of his own coffee.
“Good idea...where’s Kenji?” Sanosuke asked noticing the boy was not with him.
“At school. I checked it out yesterday and it seems safe enough,” Kenshin said.
“That’s good. Let me get dressed and we can go,” Sanosuke said heading back to his room.
Sanosuke came out dressed in a black t-shirt and blue jeans, grabbing his white windbreaker before following Kenshin out. As was to be expected they encountered traffic...a lot of traffic.
--
“There late,” Aoshi said icily glaring at the clock.
“Did you really expect Sagara to be on time?” Saitou said with a blank stare.
“No...but it’s still irritating,” Aoshi sighed leaning back in his chair.
“Did you consider my proposal?” Saitou asked lighting a cigarette.
“I’m sorry to break your heart like this....but I’m married,” Aoshi stated in exaggerated sad tone.
Saitou quirked a brow at the mans strange behavior.
“I’m sorry sleep deprivation makes me weird,” Aoshi grumbled and then stared at his desk tilting his head as if he found it fascinating.
“Weasel you need to get your mate some coffee,” Saitou stated as Misao came bounding into the room with a big smile.
“Why?” she asked looking over at Aoshi who was transfixed by his desk.
“Oh,” she stated leaving the room.
Saitou walked up next to Aoshi and waved his hand in front of the mans face getting no reaction.
“Shinomori?” he questioned.
Again he received no reaction. Saitou looked around the room to see if anyone was watching, before he took his lighter out of his pocked and slowly moved it only centimeters from Aoshi’s face. He looked around once more before smirking evilly and striking the lighter. The reaction was immediate and damn funny. Aoshi let out a surprised scream before jerking back and flailing his arms as if they were on fire. This of course caused his chair to tilt back before starting its decent to the floor. Saitou looked on in fascination as Aoshi appeared to be trying to swim his chair back to a standing position. This of course failed and he and his chair hit the floor rather hard with a loud crash. Saitou casually started to leave the scene when he heard a furious growl. He looked over his shoulder to see Aoshi peering over the top of his desk with the fires of hell in his eyes. Saitou had about three seconds to turn and brace himself before Aoshi leapt over the desk and tackled him.
“I WILL EAT YOUR FACE YOU SADISTIC BASTARD!!!” Aoshi shouted seeming to froth at the mouth.
Saitou stared up at him with apparent amusement.
“This a bad time?” Sanosuke asked with a tremor in his voice.
Aoshi and Saitou snapped there gazes to the side spotting Sanosuke and Kenshin in the door way. There bodies seemed to tremble slightly and Kenshin grabbed Sanosuke’s arm.
“Excuse us for a moment,” Kenshin stated with a slight tremor in his voice as well.
Saitou and Aoshi watched as the two men went out into the hall and Aoshi groaned as he heard them erupt into a fit of laughter.
“Awake now Shinomori?” Saitou asked with a smirk.
Aoshi glared down at Saitou darkly before standing and ‘accidently’ kicking Saitou in the side. Saitou chuckled and got off the floor just as Kenshin and Sanosuke came back in the room, both still snickering slightly.
“Are you quite finished!” Aoshi growled.
“Um...yes sir,” Kenshin said both men sobering up and giving Aoshi their attention.
“After careful consideration I have assigned Sagara to be partnered with Misao, and Himura you will be assigned to Hajime,” Aoshi stated and mentally prepared for the oncoming atomic explosion.
“SHINOMORI YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!” Sanosuke shouted angrily.
“No I assure you this is a serious decision that will not be changed,” Aoshi stated calmly.
“LOOK YOU CAN’T TRUST MY BUDDY TO THAT ASSHOLE!” Sanosuke bellowed.
“I believe I just did,” Aoshi said simply.
“THIS WILL NEVER WORK! WHY CAN’T KENSHIN GET PARTNERED WITH MISAO! AND JUST PARTNER ME WITH SOME RANDOM OTHER!” Sanosuke exclaimed loudly.
“Because Saitou is in need of a partner, and so is my wife,” Aoshi said slightly irritated.
“BUT WHY THAT ASSHOLE AOSHI! WHY!” Sanosuke shouted.
“BECAUSE I FUCKING SAID SO! AND WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND YOUR FIXATION ON SAITOU’S ASSHOLE?” Aoshi shouted back.
Sanosuke stared at the man as if he’d grown a second head.
“WHAT?” he shouted in disbelief.
--
Saitou tunned them out and turned his attention to Kenshin who was just standing there a little tensely with a displeased look on his face at Sanosuke’s behavior.
“As amusing as this is, I am in need of some coffee. Would you like to join me?” he asked turning to Kenshin.
“Coffee sounds good,” Kenshin stated walking out the door with Saitou leaving the other two men to argue to their hearts content.
He felt Saitou grab his arm as he walked towards the lobby, and looked back over his shoulder in inquiry.
“You don’t want the coffee here I assure you. There is an excellent Café a few blocks from here,” Saitou stated at the questioning look.
“Ok...lets take my car and you navigate. I need to learn my way around,” Kenshin stated walking out the front doors and towards his Mustang.
“Fine by me,” Saitou stated following and sliding smoothly into the passengers seat.
************************************************************ **************************
A/N: BEHOLD ANOTHER UPDATE FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT!! Sorry for the hold up, but work is getting hectic along with trying to get my GED. Things kinda pilled up on me but I’m starting to clear them off! So please forgive me if it takes a little longer before I update. I PROMISE I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU HANGIN FOR TOO LONG!
To Ali-chan et Vani-chan: hehe Saitou’s a naughty boy! I’m glad you enjoyed it! The next chapter will have a lot more Saitou and Kenshin interaction. But be patient for it may be a week or so before I’ll be able to update again. BUT I SHALL TRY FOR SOONER! Thank you for reviewing! ^_^
************************************************************** ************************
******************************************************************* *******************
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Rurouni Kenshin! I only wish I did.
Warning: SaitouxKenshin, violence, torture, attempted rape, yaoi= MANSEX, and fowl language when my characters get pissed.
Summary: Kenshin Himura is an upstanding detective and single father. Everything seems to be going wonderfully until certain circumstances force him and his family to flee to New York where he is partnered with the mysterious Hajime Saitou. After that things take a turn for the bizarre, leaving our poor rurouni thinking he’s on a one way trip to the loony bin. Can Kenshin discover what’s going on before he goes into mental collapse?
AU
******************************************** ******************************************
“So why did you decide to lie to your new boss?” Sanosuke asked with a glare.
“I did not lie. Enishi was pissed off when I arrested Tomoe, and that was probably what set him off. I didn’t think every bit of information concerning my attack was that important,” Kenshin stated.
“The man tried to rape and kill you kenshin,” Sanosuke stated.
“Look Sagara, it’s already hard enough to establish respect among the ranks do to my age. It would only be that much harder if I came in the weepy victim. Do me a favor and don’t say anything,” Kenshin said glancing at his friend in warning.
“Alright, but if the information is needed at a certain time don’t expect me to lie about it,” Sanosuke stated.
“Fine,” Kenshin said pulling into the parking place in front of the apartment complex.
--
“Are you alright Misao?” Aoshi asked stepping into his mates office.
She wiped away the tears that had fallen and smiled.
“Fine, it was just a bit overwhelming,” Misao sniffled.
“I know Koishi. You must never mention his past life to him. This Himura is not the same we remember,” Aoshi said walking over and pulling Misao against him.
“I know,” Misao said leaning up and kissing her mate passionately.
“This reminds me...weren’t we doing something before we were interrupted?” Aoshi said kicking the door closed and quickly locking it.
“Yes...yes we were,” Misao stated with a sly smile.
--
“Alright lets unpack all this stuff so we can go get something to eat,” Kenshin said cutting through the tape keeping the box closed.
“This is gonna take forever!” Kenji whined.
“Not if you help me,” Kenshin stated.
“But I wanna go see the Statue Of Liberty! Or the Empire State Building! Or explore that huge park!” Kenji whined louder.
“Not until we get all this stuff put away and organized,” Kenshin said firmly opening another box.
“Your mean!” Kenji yelled stamping a foot.
“Kenji Himura stop throwing a tantrum and go put your stuff where it belongs,” Kenshin said in a hard tone.
“Fine! But I’m not talking to you anymore!” Kenji cried running to his room and slamming the door.
Kenshin sighed and started putting away the pots and pans in the kitchen cabinets. An hour and half went by and almost everything was put away. Kenji hadn’t come out of his room or made a sound during this time. Kenshin glanced at his son’s door worriedly. He walked over and gave the door a soft knock. When he received no answer he opened the door and looked in. Not a single box had been unpacked and Kenji was out cold on his bed. Kenshin shook his head and gave a soft chuckle at his son’s defiance. He quietly opened the boxes and put the stuff away. He felt a little guilty about uprooting his son and moving him to such a busy and loud place. He finished putting everything in Kenji’s room away, and then finished putting away the few things left in the living room. Kenshin flopped down on the couch and closed his eyes. He opened his eyes when he heard tiny steps approaching him finding a solemn Kenji.
“Sorry daddy,” Kenji said quietly.
“It’s my fault. You didn’t get your nap today, and you get grumpy when you don’t so don’t worry about it,” Kenshin said sitting up and giving his son a hug.
“Can we go to the park now?” Kenji asked.
“Yes we can, get your coat,” Kenshin said smiling when his son shot off like a bullet.
--
“I’m telling you Fox! That bastard is up to something!” Sanosuke ranted for the hundredth time.
“Sano it will be fine. Kenshin is a big boy he can handle himself,” Megumi stated with amusement.
“Against a human yes Kenshin would have no problem, but against a wolf I doubt it,” Sanosuke stated.
“Now Sanosuke, I know Saitou is not the nicest person, but he is an honorable man and wouldn’t abuse his power in such a way,” Megumi chastised.
“HONORABLE MAN! HONORABLE! THAT SACK OF SHIT IS ANYTHING BUT HONORABLE!” Sanosuke shouted.
“Sanosuke Sagara just because you don’t like the man doesn’t give you the right spit on his good name,” Megumi growled.
“Your right Megumi...I should just spit on him not his name,” Sanosuke said with a smile just thinking about it.
“You are hopeless,” Megumi stated picking up a book to read.
“Horny too,” Sanosuke said heatedly in her ear causing her to jump.
“Too bad,. I don’t sleep with three year olds,” Megumi stated going back to her book.
Sanosuke grinned wickedly before tossing the book away from his mate and pouncing on her.
“SANOSUKE YOU HOUND!” Megumi laughed.
--
“I like it here. The hospital was nice,” Shinta stated putting away a few books.
“It’s so crowded here though,” Kaoru said putting away the dishes.
“You’ll get used to it, at least for a while,” Shinta said with a smile opening another box.
“But the people here are so loud and obnoxious!” Kaoru whined.
“You should fit right in,” Shinta mumbled.
Shinta suddenly found him self on the floor after a pan crashed into the back of his head.
“I HEARD THAT!” Kaoru shouted.
“Sorry my love,” Shinta said meekly.
“DAMN RIGHT YOU ARE!” Kaoru growled slamming things around in the kitchen.
Shinta chuckled quietly and continued to empty boxes
--
Sanosuke groaned when he heard someone pounding on his door. He rolled over in the bed and felt around for his wife. He opened his eyes discovering she was gone. He growled in annoyance as he jerked on some pants before answering the door.
“Morning sunshine,” Kenshin said handing Sanosuke some coffee.
Kenshin was attired in a plain white-t-shirt and blue jeans, with a blue jean jacket.
“What time is it?” Sanosuke asked taking a drink of the coffee and immediately fanning his tongue after swallowing the scalding liquid.
“It’s eleven thirty, and careful that’s hot,” Kenshin said amused.
“Hehe funny,” Sanosuke said with narrowed eyes.
“I thought we should go to the station now considering the traffic we will undoubtably encounter,” Kenshin said taking a drink of his own coffee.
“Good idea...where’s Kenji?” Sanosuke asked noticing the boy was not with him.
“At school. I checked it out yesterday and it seems safe enough,” Kenshin said.
“That’s good. Let me get dressed and we can go,” Sanosuke said heading back to his room.
Sanosuke came out dressed in a black t-shirt and blue jeans, grabbing his white windbreaker before following Kenshin out. As was to be expected they encountered traffic...a lot of traffic.
--
“There late,” Aoshi said icily glaring at the clock.
“Did you really expect Sagara to be on time?” Saitou said with a blank stare.
“No...but it’s still irritating,” Aoshi sighed leaning back in his chair.
“Did you consider my proposal?” Saitou asked lighting a cigarette.
“I’m sorry to break your heart like this....but I’m married,” Aoshi stated in exaggerated sad tone.
Saitou quirked a brow at the mans strange behavior.
“I’m sorry sleep deprivation makes me weird,” Aoshi grumbled and then stared at his desk tilting his head as if he found it fascinating.
“Weasel you need to get your mate some coffee,” Saitou stated as Misao came bounding into the room with a big smile.
“Why?” she asked looking over at Aoshi who was transfixed by his desk.
“Oh,” she stated leaving the room.
Saitou walked up next to Aoshi and waved his hand in front of the mans face getting no reaction.
“Shinomori?” he questioned.
Again he received no reaction. Saitou looked around the room to see if anyone was watching, before he took his lighter out of his pocked and slowly moved it only centimeters from Aoshi’s face. He looked around once more before smirking evilly and striking the lighter. The reaction was immediate and damn funny. Aoshi let out a surprised scream before jerking back and flailing his arms as if they were on fire. This of course caused his chair to tilt back before starting its decent to the floor. Saitou looked on in fascination as Aoshi appeared to be trying to swim his chair back to a standing position. This of course failed and he and his chair hit the floor rather hard with a loud crash. Saitou casually started to leave the scene when he heard a furious growl. He looked over his shoulder to see Aoshi peering over the top of his desk with the fires of hell in his eyes. Saitou had about three seconds to turn and brace himself before Aoshi leapt over the desk and tackled him.
“I WILL EAT YOUR FACE YOU SADISTIC BASTARD!!!” Aoshi shouted seeming to froth at the mouth.
Saitou stared up at him with apparent amusement.
“This a bad time?” Sanosuke asked with a tremor in his voice.
Aoshi and Saitou snapped there gazes to the side spotting Sanosuke and Kenshin in the door way. There bodies seemed to tremble slightly and Kenshin grabbed Sanosuke’s arm.
“Excuse us for a moment,” Kenshin stated with a slight tremor in his voice as well.
Saitou and Aoshi watched as the two men went out into the hall and Aoshi groaned as he heard them erupt into a fit of laughter.
“Awake now Shinomori?” Saitou asked with a smirk.
Aoshi glared down at Saitou darkly before standing and ‘accidently’ kicking Saitou in the side. Saitou chuckled and got off the floor just as Kenshin and Sanosuke came back in the room, both still snickering slightly.
“Are you quite finished!” Aoshi growled.
“Um...yes sir,” Kenshin said both men sobering up and giving Aoshi their attention.
“After careful consideration I have assigned Sagara to be partnered with Misao, and Himura you will be assigned to Hajime,” Aoshi stated and mentally prepared for the oncoming atomic explosion.
“SHINOMORI YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!” Sanosuke shouted angrily.
“No I assure you this is a serious decision that will not be changed,” Aoshi stated calmly.
“LOOK YOU CAN’T TRUST MY BUDDY TO THAT ASSHOLE!” Sanosuke bellowed.
“I believe I just did,” Aoshi said simply.
“THIS WILL NEVER WORK! WHY CAN’T KENSHIN GET PARTNERED WITH MISAO! AND JUST PARTNER ME WITH SOME RANDOM OTHER!” Sanosuke exclaimed loudly.
“Because Saitou is in need of a partner, and so is my wife,” Aoshi said slightly irritated.
“BUT WHY THAT ASSHOLE AOSHI! WHY!” Sanosuke shouted.
“BECAUSE I FUCKING SAID SO! AND WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND YOUR FIXATION ON SAITOU’S ASSHOLE?” Aoshi shouted back.
Sanosuke stared at the man as if he’d grown a second head.
“WHAT?” he shouted in disbelief.
--
Saitou tunned them out and turned his attention to Kenshin who was just standing there a little tensely with a displeased look on his face at Sanosuke’s behavior.
“As amusing as this is, I am in need of some coffee. Would you like to join me?” he asked turning to Kenshin.
“Coffee sounds good,” Kenshin stated walking out the door with Saitou leaving the other two men to argue to their hearts content.
He felt Saitou grab his arm as he walked towards the lobby, and looked back over his shoulder in inquiry.
“You don’t want the coffee here I assure you. There is an excellent Café a few blocks from here,” Saitou stated at the questioning look.
“Ok...lets take my car and you navigate. I need to learn my way around,” Kenshin stated walking out the front doors and towards his Mustang.
“Fine by me,” Saitou stated following and sliding smoothly into the passengers seat.
************************************************************ **************************
A/N: BEHOLD ANOTHER UPDATE FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT!! Sorry for the hold up, but work is getting hectic along with trying to get my GED. Things kinda pilled up on me but I’m starting to clear them off! So please forgive me if it takes a little longer before I update. I PROMISE I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU HANGIN FOR TOO LONG!
To Ali-chan et Vani-chan: hehe Saitou’s a naughty boy! I’m glad you enjoyed it! The next chapter will have a lot more Saitou and Kenshin interaction. But be patient for it may be a week or so before I’ll be able to update again. BUT I SHALL TRY FOR SOONER! Thank you for reviewing! ^_^
************************************************************** ************************