Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Kenshin Parody, Book 2 ❯ Chapter 14

The computer room's door opened and Saito stood before everyone, a wreck of man. His eyes were bloodshot, bangs every which way, and his clothes were rumpled. "That was the worst night ever...I didn't get any sleep."

Jenny scratched her head, "That's odd, I slept like a log."

"That's because you took all the blankets and didn't have to listen to yourself snore and moan in your sleep," he muttered, sitting down at the kitchen table, "What's to eat? I'm starving."

"Damn, me too mutha fucka! I'm hungry like a nigga!" Kelly opened a cupboard, "Um, lemme see, we got Lucky Charms, Trix, Cocoa Puffs, and Apple Jacks."

"Do dodo do do!" cried Jenny, snatching the Lucky Charms. She poured Saito and Aoshi a bowl of the delicious sugary sweet yumminess, "Here guys, dig in."

"What is this?" Aoshi picked up a spoonful, eyeing it like it was some sort of Kanryu, "Beshimi... Grrrr..."

Saito didn't know what the girls were trying to feed him. Sure weren't home cookin'.

"Uh, what is this?" he asked, letting a spoonful fall into his bowl with a plop.

"That's Lucky Charms. Go on and eat one. The marshmallows are really good," Jenny explained.

"Marsh...mallows?"

"Think fluffy sugar," Kelly said, while forcing a spoonful into Aoshi's mouth.

Aoshi's eyes got real big and he clamped a hand on his mouth. "Ah, my teeth! What's in that stuff?"

"Sugar. Sugar. Red number 2. Sugar. I think that about covers it," Kelly said, giving him another spoonful. Aoshi swallowed, then took the spoon from Kelly and went to town on that shieet.

Saito looked at Aoshi with a look that said "this nigga crazy."

Jenny forced a spoonful into Saito's mouth. He slapped the shit outta her. "Excuse me? I think I can feed myself," he said, fumbling around with the foreign spoon. He dropped it into his bowl and splashed himself.

"Right," Jenny said, totally ignoring the burning handprint on her face. She popped the spoon into Saito's mouth. He chewed thoughtfully.

"Hhmmmm...You're a talented cook, Jenny."

Jenny blushed. "Ok..."

Saito continued to eat on his own.

Meanwhile, Aoshi had taken off his coat and was running around like a damn wallaby on crack.

"Wooooo!!" he shouted, swinging his coat around like a cowboy. He started doing backflips and jumping off the couch and just all around making a complete fool of himself. "Sugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugar... BESHIMIHYOTTOKOSHIKIJOHANNYA!" he yelled, doing a handstand. "Agh, I'm hot!" he said, ripping off his shirt and throwing it across the room like a spoiled child.

"Damn," Kelly said, watching the show.

As Saito finished his bowl, a strange feeling came over him. "Shinomori is right. It IS kind of hot in here," he said, taking off his shirt while Jenny drooled.

"OH YEAH!!" Aoshi was shouting! Shouting, can you believe it?

The three of them looked at him. "Holy shit," was the common thought.

Saito stood up and grabbed Jenny's arm. He swung her around.

"Saito, what the hell...?"

Before she finished, Saito threw her into the air, caught her, and then proceeded to cut himself a slice of rug.

"OH HELL YEAH!! WOOOHOOO!! YEAH BABY!!!" Aoshi shouted again, doing some one armed pushups.

Suddenly, the phone rang and since Kelly was the only one sober or free enough to answer it, she did.

"Kelly's house of screaming half naked men, how can I be of service?"

"Umm, this is your neighbor, and, um, well, what's going on over there?"

"Nothing," Kelly said, trying to push Aoshi away, who was crawling around and pulling on her leg.

"What?"

"NOTHING!" she yelled, swatting at Saito, who was trying to dance with her. Jenny lay sprawled in a heap on the couch, spent. Kelly hung up.

"Jenny, you lazy bastard, get up and help me get these two knuckleheads under control!"

"Uhhnnn, we mamba-ed, salsa-ed, waltzed, square danced, jived, hip hopped, be bopped. Man, you do that shit."

"Well, I'm about to, if you don't help me!"

So the two went about the painful task of desugarizing the two men.