Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Life the Saitoh Fujita Way ❯ He is Preparing to Leave; I Can See the Signs ( Chapter 32 )

30 Romances Themes: Stay - Bury

 

The wolf's wife can tell that he is getting ready to leave on another mission.

 

"I know that you will be leaving soon."

 

 

He is Preparing to Leave; I Can See the Signs

I see that you are getting ready for another assignment. You do not have to tell me because I know the signs. You lay everything out yourself, the extra shirts and pants, and of course, another pair of your white gloves.

 

You will only take one jacket and hat, leaving the only extra you have of each at home. I wonder if you want me to bury you in them, if only your body returns to me. I push that thought out of my mind as quickly as it enters. This is not the time to be thinking things like that. There is never a time to think such thoughts; I will not allow it.

 

Somehow preparing what you need without my help, reminds you of your Shinsengumi days and gets you into the right mind set for the fight that is surely to come. I am certain that is what it must be. After years of living with you that is my only conclusion.

 

I will not ask you to stay, although I sometimes have to bite my lip to keep the word from slipping out of my mouth. I know it is shameful of me to even think about making that request of you.

 

Sighing, I know that I must remain silent about this. As your wife, I have no choice, and I know better than to try to sway you with either my words, or my touch. It would do no good in the end, and only build a silent wall between us. A wall separating us is not what I want.

 

We both know that your duty to Japan comes before the two of us. As you walk down the front hallway to leave the house, you will quietly slide open the shoji to the boy's room for one last look, as you always do. You probably know that I watch you, but I never say a word.

 

Padding into the kitchen, I think about what to send with you. You barely take the time to eat, when you are gone. Yes, I notice that, because I can feel the thinness of your body when you come home. What I wrap for you to take today will not last you long, but it gives me a sense of doing something, anything, to help you with your mission. It is only a foolish notion from a woman who is always left behind.

 

Your work is a part of your life that I cannot really share, and I knew that before I married you. Just as long as you come home, I can bear it. If I told you that, it would only earn me one of your smirks, telling me how I worry without cause, because you always come home. Yes, you have always come home. That is the truth that I hold to my heart.