Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ My Soldier ❯ My Soldier ( One-Shot )

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"Soon, my love. I'll be home soon."

That was two months ago and I haven't seen him since. I miss him so much it hurts. It feels like there's a lead weight where my heart used to be. Laughter and tears have both become rare occurances, replaced by a feeling of constant burning pain.

'Wherever you are, I hope you're safe..."

Night is torture. I've sat awake for so many nights, hoping, worrying and waiting. When I actually manage to get to bed, I'm still miserable. Falling asleep takes so long without him beside me. Every night is cold and lonely without his surrounding strength and soothing warmth. I miss the feeling of his arms holding me close. I love listening to his steadily beating heart as I snuggle up against his warm body. It's the sweetest feeling in the world... Will I ever feel that way again?

I wonder where he is right now... Is he safe, wherever he is? Is he warm? Is he as lonely as I am? Could it be that he--- NO! I won't let myself say it, write it, even think it. He IS alive and he WILL come back to me... I've got to keep believing that. I have to be strong. He promised that he was coming home and he's always true to his word.

But in the darkest part of me, I just can't help thinking... What if the worst should happen? I wouldn't even be able to say goodbye... And what about Toshio...? How could I tell her that she would never see her father again? It would break her heart and mine too...

I have to keep believing in him. No matter what, I have to trust that he'll find his way back to me. I always knew he would have to leave again and so did he. He agreed to lead the Sekihoutai and I knew he would never go back on his word. But still, I'm being pierced by the cold, sharp blade of reality.

There is a very real chance that each day he is away could be his last. I can't stand to think of him dying in agony on some blood-soaked battlefield far away from here. I would at least want to be there to hold him, to comfort him, to kiss him goodbye.

'Don't think like that! He's fine, wherever he is...'

We both knew he would have to leave. The fighting was already starting. He told me not to worry about him, to be concerned about Toshio and myself. "I'll be helping to form a better future for all of us. So whenever you feel alone, remember that I'm fighting for you," he had told me. That doesn't stop me from feeling alone. But I must do what I can.

I'll keep waiting for Souzou. He's my soldier...