Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Oiran no Gaijin - "The Foreign Courtesan" ❯ Tears of Rage ( Chapter 3 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Miku felt like he could die right then. He was crying his heart out into his mother's shoulder and in broad daylight too - at least it was because he actually had something important ot cry about. Harsh, wracking sobs shook his whole body as he clung to his mother, just like he had done as a child. If his father were alive, none of this would be happening - his father had been staunchly for the Revolution. The concept of master and slave was an abomination to him and it was a value that he taught to his children - even Okon and Omasu. Miku swallowed hard, lifted his head from his mother's shoulder, and wiped his eyes on the back of his hand, partially ashamed of himself for getting so emotional, partially wanting to cry again.

"I hate that old man..." he gritted out through clenched teeth.

"Dame. You mustn't say things like that," his mother admonished him "You can disagree with his opinions and his actions, but he is still your elder and you must respect him."

"Okaa-san, TELL me you're not saying what I think you're saying!" pleaded Miku, gripping his mother's hand.

She bit her lip and couldn't meet his eyes, those topaz eyes that mirrored his late father's.

"Okaa-san, you can't be serious!" Miku yelled, red in the face as tears of rage and passion slid down his cheeks.

Chizuko found that she could no longer look at her son, so she turned her head away - if she saw the pain she knew he would have etched in his expression, she knew she would crack. Miku's voice softened and he pulled on his mother's hand, trying to get her to look at him. He understood what was happening, but that didn't mean he had to agree with it. Why wasn't his mother trying to do something!? Oh, that's right, he thought sourly. She can't do anything. Still, it enraged him that she wasn't even making an attempt, that she was complying without a fuss. If there was ever a time when a great big noisy fuss was needed, sure as hell it was now. Miku's expression hardened and he snatched his hands away from his mother's as if he were dropping a poisonous spider.

"So that's how it is, okaa-san..." he said harshly, standing up and turning away.

"Mii-chan, onegai---" begged Chizuko, trying to push back the lump in her throat.

"Only my mother can call me that," spat Miku. "If this is how it's going to be, then I'm no son of yours."

"Miku! Iya! Onegai, Miku! Yamate!" his mother implored him, falling on her knees and reaching out to him. "You're breaking my heart! I don't agree with what the old man does or says, but there is nothing I can do! Onegai Miku, don't leave your family alone! Ojii-san is too old to provide for us and I simply can't make enough doing laundry! I don't know what we would do without you!"

"Is that all I am to you? A provider?" Miku asked in a drifting voice.

"Iya! Of course not! You're my youngest son and I love you! With your brothers gone and your father gone, you're all I have left!" cried Chizuko. "If you still wish to leave me, think of your sisters! They love you! You mean the world to them!"

"But think of your mother first," came an oily, rasping voice from behind them. "If you leave, all she has left to make money off of is herself... Do you really want to degrade your mother like that? Think about it. The last thing we need is one more useless mouth to feed. Take the gaijin girl and get a good price for her. It's her or your family. Think hard about where your loyalties lie..."

Miku opened his mouth to argue, but no sound came out. He gave his mother one last pleading look - there were tears in her eyes, but she held them back. Her heart wished she could tell him that she hated the old man too, that she wanted the girl to be free, maybe to become his wife. But society told her to listen to and obey her elders, especially her husband's father now that her husband and mother-in-law were both deceased. For the sake of her family, she just had to harden her heart and get done what needed to be done. Still she was ready to cry - she was in a no-win situation. Miku's own lip trembled, but he bit down on it roughly, drawing blood.

It's hopeless, he thought finally, still tense and partially ready to fight.

"Given it some thought?" asked the grandfather, his voice condescending.

Two last tears slipped out as Miku let out a deep breath and his shoulders fell in defeat. The battle between two halves of his heart was over and his family had won. He swallowed hard and walked away from his mother, past his grandfather without a word or so much as a backwards glance. Overwhelmed, he sat down on his front step and put his face in his hands, not crying, for he had no more tears, but thinking. Maybe there was another way to get the money... No, then he would still have to bring Nicole home with him. He didn't know of anyplace else where she could stay. He took in another deep breath and let it out shakily.

There was no alternative. But he couldn't tell Nicole what was going on - he didn't want to see the look on her face when her onii-chan... He couldn't even make his brain form the words. Sighing again, he stood up, brushed his hakama off, and turned to open the front shoji. His hand fumbled for a moment, then slid it open automatically - it felt like he had a large gap between his brain and his spinal cord, just so hard to do the simplest things. He stepped into the entryway to kick off his sandals but looked down and remembered that he had run outside barefoot.

I can at least let her sleep for a little while longer... he thought sadly, stepping into the main room where she still slept, curled up on his futon with her glasses beside her pillow.

A sad smile curved his lips as he looked her over - she was just so small and innocent and she looked so peaceful sleeping in the sun like that. He padded over to the futon and knelt beside it. The sunlight danced across her face and made her hair look like it was fiery red - it matched her spirit. Nicole shifted a little in her sleep and her hand came out from under the blanket, almost hitting her glasses. Gently, carefully, Miku took her hand - her left - in his own left hand and twined their fingers together again, just as they had been sleeping. Before he could stop himself, he reached out to touch her cheek with his other hand - her skin was soft...

Then he shook his head. He should wake her up, because they had a lot of walking to do to get to the main road of Edo, then to the assigned district. Still... He wanted to touch that hair one more time before she woke up. He trailed his fingers along her cheek once more and let them thread into her hair, feeling the soft strands against his callused hand. He flinched visibly when reality hit him square in the chest and practicality was thrust at him by his mind. It just wasn't good to get so attached to her, not when he was about to... He still couldn't think it - but all the same, best to wake her now.

"Nikooru-chan," he whispered, running his hand through her hair one last time and then placing it gently on her left shoulder. "Nikooru-chan... It's time to get up... Come on... Mezamenasai..."

Nicole made a sleepy noise and turned over, pulling the blanket over her head. Shaking his head sadly, Miku took hold of her right shoulder and pulled her down so that she was laying on her back, still curled up. Her body uncurled automatically, then curled right back up again - it was cold and the blanket was warm. Miku shook his head again and carefully slid his left arm under Nicole's shoulders, helping her sit up. Her head drooped forward onto her chest for a moment, but then she jerked it up, let it droop once more, and settled for halfway looking up. Miku watched as her hazel eyes fluttered open, then screwed themselves closed again - it was too bright!

"Nikooru-chan!" he hissed, shifting her a little bit. "Come ON! Mezamenasai!"

Finally, Nicole opened her eyes and glared sleepily at him.

"Whaddya want?" she mumbled, rubbing at her eyes with one hand - they were still puffy and red.

She yawned widely, cracked her neck, and twisted around to pop her back - Miku winced at the sound.

"Nikooru-chan, you need to get up," he said softly, holding her hand and still supporting her. "We've... uh... got things to do today..."

"Like what?" demanded Nicole, trying to stifle another yawn as she reached for her glasses.

"Erm... Shopping?" Miku offered weakly.

"Just tell me when!" chirped Nicole, suddenly bright and cheerful.

Miku slapped a hand to his forehead and rolled his eyes.

"We should leave right about now," he told her.

"But I need a bath and how am I supposed to go out in public looking like this!?" countered Nicole, throwing the blanket aside to point at the mud still clinging to her pants and socks.

"Daijoubu, don't worry. People go out in worse," he told her dismissively.

Nicole growled and grumbled under her breath, then swung her legs off the futon and made to stand up.


The campus was still dripping, as were most of the students. An odd crowd was forming a little bit apart from all the classes in fire-drill formation. The Japanese Culture club people were bunched in around the group and an African-American girl and a boy with curly brown hair were standing to the right of the group. Keith and his friend Patrick were talking quietly to each other beside the Japanese Culture club's remnants. Ashley and Kirsten were standing in the middle of the odd crowd, looking around at everything. Kirsten was trying to talk to Ashley, but couldn't get her to speak. No one wanted to say "It's okay" to her, because they all knew it wasn't. Nicole was her best friend and everybody at that school knew it. The two of them had been together and inseparable since preschool - Nicole made a point of telling everyone she ever met that.

Some of the teachers were trying to settle the students down, some by coaxing, some by shouting, some giving up and doing nothing at all. The guidance counselor, the one who always seemed to be in control - he had even kept his cool on 9/11, for God's sake - seemed acutely distressed. To keep himself busy, he kept checking and re-checking the teachers' roll books, as if making sure that no one else had been claimed by the explosion of water. The dean of students was talking to the president of the school and the high school principal, all of them in hushed voices. Some people were arguing over whether or not to call Nicole's parents.

"They have to know! Now!" said the vice president of the Japanese Culture club firmly.

"I say we let the school handle it," Keith's friend Patrick said matter-of-factly.

"Who says they're going to believe us even if we did call them?" asked Ellen, from the Japanese Culture club. "What happened... back there... was pretty unbelievable if you ask me."

Another group of students, the immature nitwits who threw food and bottle tops at people during lunch, was congregating to discuss the situation also - in loud, obnoxious voices.

"That couldn't possibly have been real," said a scrawny, squirrely-looking blonde-haired boy with large front teeth. "That was just Nicole going all-out with a senior prank!"

"Well then where is she now?" demanded his cohort, a tallish dark-haired boy who also had large front teeth, paired with ears that stuck out like jug handles.

"Probably hiding," said a very tall boy with blondish-brown hair and freckles. "I mean, if I had just nearly blown up the school, I'd be hiding too."

"She's not smart enough to hide!" yelled an African-American boy who was particularly obnoxious. "Remember that day she walked on the rails? She just stood there and waited to get caught! She just does it for attention."

"If she wants attention, then where is she?" broke in Kelly, the girl who was the varsity football team manager. "If she was just doing that for attention, she would want to be here to watch the chaos!"

"Maybe she's dead," snickered an Asian boy from the basketball team.

Ashley snapped. She stalked over to the obnoxious group with a look in her eye that was so deadly, not even Nicole had ever seen it before. The idiots didn't even notice her until she pushed the two boys with the large front teeth aside, shoving her way into the small crowd. The tears that were in her eyes were gone now - now her black-brown orbs flashed with an anger that ran deeper than anything they could fathom.

"What did you say?" she asked in a dangerously quiet voice, her tone shaking with suppressed rage.

"I said I think she's dead," said the Asian boy, finding Ashley's rage very amusing.

He never even saw the blow that broke his nose coming.

"Don't you DARE say that!" roared Ashley, her face turning red as she stood over the boy, who clutched his bleeding nose.

"Oh shit..." the scrawny blonde boy said quietly.

"She is NOT dead!" Ashley continued. "She's NOT!"

And she withdrew back into her shell-shocked state, refusing to speak to anyone. However, the dean of students had seen the whole thing. He walked over and saw that the Asian boy's nose was broken. Had Ashley just belted him a good one, he would have just let it go. That comment would have provoked anyone. But seeing how she had done him real physical damage, he couldn't overlook it. Then he saw the look on Ashley's face. She was staring into space, no longer aware of her surroundings and with no memory of what she had just done.

"Ashley Bloom, you come here this instant," barked the dean of students.

Ashley didn't move - she never even shifted her gaze.

"Ashley!" the dean repeated.

Again, she didn't move.

The crowd had grown tired of watching Ashley, so they went back to their discussions. Some were swearing they had seen Nicole be blown away by the water. Others said she disappeared when she touched the bubble. Most, though they dared not say it out loud, were pretty sure that, whatever the case was as to the explosion, she was dead. How could she possibly have survived that!? They all knew Nicole was ridiculously lucky when it came to doing dangerous things - walking the rails, climbing trees, climbing the bleachers when they were folded up... But even Nicole couldn't possibly have gotten away scot-free from an explosion at closer than a gun's point-blank range!

"Ashley, I know this is hard for you," said Mrs. Kirkpatrick in a patient voice. "But that does not excuse you from the consequences of physically harming another student. Ashley? Ashley!?"

Ashley had turned away and was talking to Kirsten in a hushed voice and no one but Kirsten could make out what she was saying. Her other friend Natalia was standing there as well, her arm around Ashley's shoulders. Natalia's boyfriend, Daniel, stood by her side, not really knowing what to do or say. To him, Nicole had mostly been something of a nuisance. But that didn't mean he wanted her dead or anything! Natalia was frowning, still unsure of what to do for her friend. Ashley was whispering to her and Kirsten in a hollow voice.

"They're all saying she's dead..." she rasped out. "It's not true... It's not real... She's still alive... Any minute now, she's going to come bouncing out of nowhere laughing because we're all wet... You all know Nicole, right!?"

She looked at her two friends, at Daniel, at the Japanese Culture club, and at Keith and Patrick, practically in hysterics.

"You all know Nicole! She's okay! I know she is!" she yelled, not caring who heard her now. "I could feel it if she were gone, I know I could!"

"Ashley," Kirsten said quietly. "If she hasn't come out by now... I mean, it's been, like, two hours... Even she wouldn't stay hidden this long..."

"No!" cried Ashley, her knees shaking, though she wouldn't let herself give out yet. "Nicole's alive! She's okay! Oh what am I saying? She's gone!"

With that, she lost it, crying into Kirsten's shoulder while Natalia rubbed her back.


"Miku-'niichan!" chirped Nicole, jogging to keep up with his long strides.

"Hai?" Miku responded wearily.

"Look over there!" cried Nicole, pointing at something that was behind a rather large man's shoulder.

"What is it?" groused Miku, being jostled by the crowd as he stopped to wait for Nicole.

Nicole grabbed his hand and started elbowing her way through the crowd. Miku let himself be dragged along, still cursing violently in his mind. What on earth was Nicole going to show him this time? They had already been to a weapons stall, where Miku had to drag her away from the tanto display. Then they had wound up at a meat stand, where Nicole set all the chickens free and Miku had to dodge a thrown butcher knife. The chickens all got away. Nicole had also pulled him over to a flower stand, where an elderly man gave her a lily just for being pretty. Miku fumed with jealousy as Nicole stuck the lily in her ponytail, berating himself in his mind for letting her do all this. Well... It was rather like giving a prisoner anything they wanted for their last meal, he supposed.

"Hora!" whispered Nicole, pulling Miku away from the crowd and over to a lone sakura tree.

"What about it? It's a sakura---" Miku cut his sentence off.

It was the biggest sakura tree he had ever seen, and the only one he could see that was in full blossom. Still, he saw that same tree every year. But seeing it with Nicole, hearing the childlike awe in her voice as she gazed up at the pink, blossom-covered branches, made it somewhat special. The wind picked up and a single blossom blew off the tree, floating down to Nicole, who caught it in her cupped hands. Miku smiled genuinely for the first time that day - it was like the tree was giving her a gift, he thought.

"Hanakazari no kimi he!" she said cheerfully, holding the blossom out to him. "For you in full blossom!"

Miku sighed and took the blossom. Seconds later, the wind blew it out of his hand and together they watched it fly away until they couldn't see it anymore. Nicole smiled and tilted her head as if to say "Oh well!" as she began to pull Miku through the crowd again. The next thing they came upon was a booth selling... What were those things? Nicole scampered up to the display and found herself looking at some of the most beautiful things she had ever seen. They were like crystals, but they seemed softer somehow. She pointed at them and asked Miku what in the world they could be.

"They're candies, made out of a special kind of sugar," he explained.

How he wished he had the money to buy her a box of them!

"Oh, they're so expensive..." said Nicole, crestfallen.

They turned away and it was now Miku's turn to steer. He kept a hold on Nicole's cape, using it rather like one of those child leashes to guide her through the crowd. His heart was getting heavier and heavier with each step they took - he hated that old man, wanted to leave him behind. But he couldn't without also abandoning the ones he loved. He couldn't say if he loved Nicole - he just felt obligated to protect her, to keep her safe. Of course he cared about her... But that would have to stop soon.

"Turn this way, Nikooru-chan," he told her, pulling her to the right.

"Where are we going, Miku-oniichan?" Nicole asked innocently.

Miku stiffened. He just didn't have the heart to tell her.

"To find you a place to stay," he said, his voice almost wavering. "My ojii-san, I am sorry to say, does not want a gaijin under his roof. Forgive me."

"I understand!" chirped Nicole. "I'll just stay in Tokyo--- er... Edo!"

Miku swallowed hard and mumbled a noncommittal response.

"Hai," he said quietly, his voice not much more than a rough breath.

He turned to the right again and started to hear the sound of small drums. Yes, there were women of the street plying their trades. He and Nicole were approaching the red-light district. Nicole looked around at everything, confused. Why was Miku bringing her to a place like this? Wherever they were going had to be on the other side of the red-light district. Yeah, that was it, she decided. Still, he could have chosen a better route, she thought. Miku was trying to find a place that looked reasonably clean and had relatively few customers. If he was going to do this horrible thing, he could at least try to find a place that would treat her like a human. Plus, a morbidly pragmatic part of his mind said, a high-class place would most likely pay him more.

Miku dropped Nicole's cape, took her hand, squeezed it, and stopped right where he was. It was the middle of the day, so there weren't as many people swarming around the street in this part of town as there normally would be. That was how his grandfather had wanted it - he couldn't have his grandson seen in the red-light district. To him, Miku's purpose was to marry a girl from a wealthier family than their own. He could care less what the boy did with her, so long as she worked hard and her parents gave a large dowry. Swallowing hard, Miku pulled Nicole close to him and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him. Considering their surroundings, no one would look twice at their display of affection.

"Sumanu, Nikooru-chan," he whispered, hoping to God she couldn't hear him. "Sumanu..."

Nicole looked up at the young man she had, over the course of a little more than a day or two, come to see as a brother-figure and protector, her face innocently confused. Miku swallowed hard and pulled himself away from Nicole a little more roughly than he meant to. A frown curved Nicole's lips and furrowed her brow - what was going on? Why weren't they going where they needed to go? She opened her mouth to ask, but closed it again as Miku took her hand and continued leading her down the street. Her face turned from concerned to half-panicked as he made a beeline for a nearby establishment - she couldn't read the name on the sign, but she had a good idea of what the place was and she didn't like it.

"This looks like a good place," Miku lied through his teeth, trying hard not to let his voice shake.

It was true - the place looked simplistic and elegant, not at all like a bawdy-house. A group of pretty young women, their ages undiscernible, was sitting at a beautifully carved table, talking quietly and enjoying tea. Miku swallowed hard - they looked like they were treated decently. Their clothes were highly suggestive but nonetheless very beautiful. He was just noticing a girl who looked to be about the same age as Nicole - and he thought Nicole was maybe sixteen - when the madam of the place swept into view.

"Irrashaimase, my fine gentleman. Watashi wa Himejima Kiyoko" she said in a musical voice. "What brings you here today?"

As if she wouldn't know what I'm here for, Miku thought irritably. The men who come in here are either buying or selling.

Embarrassed by the crude thoughts, he fumbled for words for a moment. Nicole was growing antsy and was fighting the unspeakable urge to run. She knew that sometimes high-class places would take in women who had no place to go on a charity basis, but they required payment if the girl was not going to make herself useful. And Nicole didn't have any money - she had left her purse on a bench in the breezeway between two school buildings. It wasn't like these people would take American paper money anyway. She swallowed hard, looking plaintively at Miku, who turned away from her.

"Nikooru-chan, why don't you go talk to those girls over there?" he offered lamely, before turning to the elegantly-dressed madam. "I'm not going to mince words. How much for the gaijin girl?"

His voice came out harsh and cold, not at all like his own voice. He watched Nicole sidle up to the girls and stand beside the table until one of them gestured for her to sit down. The auburn-haired girl looked quite uncomfortable. Miku swallowed hard once again and cleared his throat. He opened his mouth to address the madam again, but no words would come out - his throat was just stuck. The madam regarded him with a concerned expression. Obviously this young man had never been to the red-light district before. And she had seen the way he had looked at the gaijin girl...

"I realize it is not my place to ask questions of a customer, but may I inquire---" she paused, coughing delicately. "--- What is making you do this?"

"I'd rather not talk about it," Miku said sharply, his words curt and his voice cold. "Just tell me how much."

Kiyoko Himejima's brow furrowed - she didn't like where this was going, but business was business.

"She is so dirty, though," she mused out loud, turning to Miku after watching Nicole for a moment. "I suppose we could freshen her up and make her look presentable."

"Just pay me," snapped Miku - he couldn't care less if he was being rude. Then his manner changed - the cold front he had put on dropped away and for a moment, he was just miserable. "Demo, onegai, promise me you'll treat her well..."

Himejima-sama bowed her head.

"We will take care of her here," she said quietly. "She will work, but she will be taken care of. I can give you five hundred yen for her."

"May I at least say good-bye?" Miku asked sadly, looking longingly over at Nicole, who looked nervous as the four young women played with her hair and examined her cape.

"Of course," replied Himejima-sama. "Would you like me to pay you now?"

"Hai," Miku responded in a thick, choked voice. "I don't want... I don't want her to see it..."

"Ah, then come into the back with me," said Himejima-san, bowing as she gestured to a noren curtain that covered the doorway to the back of the establishment.

Nicole couldn't believe what was happening - then again, she wasn't entirely sure of what was happening. She gestured at the curtain, trying to communicate with the girls. She knew she could probably speak to them and have them understand, just like with Miku, but words escaped her at the moment. The girls just giggled and continued playing with her hair - they knew that when a man went back there, it was strictly for business. Miku, for his part, was keeping himself remarkably calm, though inside, he was screaming. Himejima-sama extracted a small bag from the long sleeve of her elegant kimono and opened it quickly. She looked in it and rolled her eyes.

"Matte kudasai," she said softly. "I shall be back momentarily."

The elegant madam padded down the hall, took a left, and entered her personal chambers. She quickly pulled the correct drawer open and eyeballed the collected money. Gauging the small stacks, she scooped up five hundred yen with deft fingers and deposited it in the small money bag from her sleeve. She slid the drawer closed again and hastened from her chambers. Something in the back of her mind told her that what she was doing was wrong, but she pushed it away - women in business had no place for a conscience. Still her heart twinged a bit for the young man.

I wish I had had someone who cared about me so much, she thought sadly. It would have saved me a lot of trouble.

Miku was standing in the hallway, now visibly shaking. He swallowed hard as Himejima-sama stepped back into view and produced a now-full linen bag. She assured him that there was indeed five hundred yen in the bag and bowed as she placed it in the hand he stretched out automatically. Touching his shoulder for less than a second, she ushered him back to the front of her establishment. Miku shook his head, just to clear it, and stepped back into the warm sunlight let in by the paper in the shoji panels. He cleared his throat and approached Nicole, stopping a few feet from the table. The girls in kimono scurried away, giggling.

"Come here, Nikooru-chan," Miku whispered hoarsely, holding his hand out to her.

Nicole pushed herself unsteadily to her feet and managed to walk over to him in a rather wobbly fashion. He caught her as her twisted knee gave out again, catching her before she hit the floor. Carefully, he let her stand on her own, keeping one strong hand on her shoulder. Blinking back tears, he stroked her cheek, then ran his fingers into her hair again. She looked down, trying to hide her own tears, but he tilted her face up to his. Himejima-sama politely looked the other way, feeling like an intruder on their private moment.

"Nikooru... I'm sorry... I'm so very sorry..." Miku said softly.

Nicole's eyes widened at the use of her name on such a familiar level.

"Miku... Doushite?" she asked, her voice wavering. "What's going on!?"

Part of her knew what was happening - part of her didn't want to know.

Miku couldn't say a word to her. He just stroked her under her chin and tilted her face up to his again. Carefully, tenderly, he brought his lips down on hers, silencing her questions. Nicole's eyes filled with tears as she accepted his kiss, slowly wrapping her arms around him. A tear escaped his own eye as he closed them and that single clear drop left a wet trail on his face as he pressed Nicole closer to him. Nicole was the first to part her lips - it was a reflex she could no longer deny - and Miku did so as well, gently sliding his tongue into her mouth. He could taste her tears. A mix of emotions grabbed hold of him and he took in a sharp breath, pulling back from Nicole abruptly.

"There's a lot of things I shouldn't have done," he said to her, his voice shaking as he steadied himself by touching her face. "But remember, I did ask you to forgive me..."

He embraced her one last time, hugging her fiercely to him, holding her so tight that neither of them could breathe.

"Forgive me..." he said again, kissing her lips gently as he set her down again.

His hand lingered on her cheek for another second, then he turned away and left without a word - good-bye would have made it too real.