Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Prisoner of War ❯ More Human ( Chapter 5 )

Sorry about how long it took to get this update up. I was really busy this week what with my birthday, my boyfriend's twenty-first birthday, Thanksgiving, and finals. The good news is that my internet is fixed so that I can update more often. YAY!!

Disclaimer: Not mine.

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Kenshin laid his head all the way to the left so he could watch her better. The steady meticulous movement of her needle through the pink cloth entranced him. Her voice floated through his head, making him feel light. She was talking about making rice balls, but that didn't matter. He just wanted to hear her. For the past week and a half that the small bed had been his home, he had spent most of his time watching and listening to Kaoru. She had spent every day by his side talking of trivial things and sewing the pink cloth. Kenshin had heard the other nurses complain when she was out with her husband. She had been paying too much attention to him and was neglecting her other duties. This fascinated Kenshin. He didn't understand why she spent so much time with him, but he was thankful for it. It made him feel good inside, like he had found something he didn't even know he was missing. She talked to him like he was a normal person, an equal. But that wasn't what made his spine tingle. No, it was the way she looked at him. She seemed to be admiring his scarred body, memorizing it to keep in her dreams. She tried not to let him see her do it, but he did. It made him feel less like a slave. Less like a possession to be ordered and commanded. Many women had stared at him in similar ways before. They would pay the captain of his squadron, and he would be forced to pleasure them. He was a plaything to them. A piece of meat. But the way Kaoru gazed at him was different. She never once tried to take advantage of him even though he was shackled. He knew that it wasn't because she was married. Many of the Kyoto women had been married too. Slaves didn't count to them. Adultery was between people not property. But she didn't see him as property. He was just a man to her. But there was something else in her eyes besides the small desire that twinkled there. It was something he couldn't place. Fear perhaps or pity. Whatever it was though, he liked it. It made him feel more alive, more worthy. It made him feel more human.

"Would you like me to bring you some of my rice balls sometime?"

"Yes, Miss Kaoru. That would be very nice." He smiled at her and, she sighed happily. She didn't know what it was about this man that made her body feel so full, like her heart was going to burst every time he smiled. Maybe it was the way the amber was fading from his eyes. Everyday they shined more and more vibrantly violet. The color reminded her of heather. It was soft and beautiful. Now the amber only remained in a small circle in the center. A reminder of how dangerous he really was. No matter how hard she tried to pretend it was different, he was not just some average patient in her small hospital. He was a prisoner of war. He was a soldier who killed more men than she had probably ever even seen. He didn't get the name Battousai the Manslayer because he was gentle on the battlefield. She couldn't imagine him killing though. He seemed too sweet for that.

"Kenshin, can I ask you a question?"

"Yes, Miss Kaoru."

"About your past?" Kenshin turned his head to the ceiling. He didn't want to discuss his life with her. He didn't want her to know the atrocities that he had committed. Ever since the night she washed the blood from his hair, they hadn't mentioned anything about his life. But she was the only one who treated him civilly, so she deserved to know whatever she wanted. He just feared she would stop looking at him in her special way if she knew.

"You can ask me anything, Miss Kaoru. I promise to answer truthfully. Please do not hate me for it though." The tender touch of her hand on his startled him. He turned to meet her gaze. It was rich with emotions he didn't understand and couldn't identify.

"Kenshin, I could never hate you. You don't have to answer if you don't want to." He felt as if a great weight had been lifted off of his chest. Why did her words make him feel that way? Why did he fear her scorn so much?

"Please ask me, Miss Kaoru."

"Kenshin, when you killed all those people, what did you think about?" His attention returned to the ceiling.

"I thought of my father, Miss Kaoru. He left a debt to my mother when he died. The government took everything from her, even her son. The last time I saw her, she was crying outside the place that used to be our home, begging the guards not to take me away. She knew the life that I would have to lead. When they cut this brand into my face, I think she screamed louder than I did. I hate my father for leaving her with nothing. For dying and leaving us alone. It's easy to kill when you're taking vengeance. Every life I took was either that of my father or the guard that scarred me. The guard that laughed at my mother as he dragged me away. He was the first man I killed. His was the first blood on my hands. I understand if you want to leave me now. I will not be offended." But her hand did not leave his. In fact, she gripped it tighter.

"Kenshin, I am so sorry. How awful. But, when you kill, do you ever think of all the wives you have widowed or the children you have orphaned? Aren't you doing the same thing to them as was done to your family? I don't think I could shake that thought from my mind if I was out there." Kenshin was quiet. His eyes stayed fixed on the ceiling. Kaoru was beginning to get worried when she noticed a small tear drip down his cheek. It fitted itself into the groove of his scar and rolled carelessly to the end to drip onto his red hair. He did not look at her.

"No. I haven't really thought of that until now, Miss Kaoru." The door on the far side of the room slid open and snatched the attention of both Kenshin and Kaoru. A tall woman in a purple jacket with a pink kimono underneath strode in. She had long black hair that hung loose and striking red lips. Kaoru hurried to her side and ushered her to Kenshin. He could hear Kaoru greet her as they strode closer to him.

"Thank goodness you're here, Doctor Megumi."

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A/N: Well, I liked this chapter. Keep an eye out for an Inuyasha fic that I am cooking up under the tentative title "Disillusionment." I got the idea for it while listening to the Pearl Jam song "Jeremy." That should give you an idea as to what it is about. Please review!