Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Second Impressions ❯ First Date With A Homicidal Maniac ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: i-luv-the-cat-sohma52
Your first date often decides the future of the relationship. If it's very bad, nothing comes of it; if it's very good, the couple may decide to continue dating. But what do you do when the first date is neither good or bad, but weird?

Anime/Manga: Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 11.20.2007 | Pages: 4 | Words: 5.6K | Visits: 760 | Status: Work In Progress

Second Impressions
Part I
The Online Journal of Kaoru Kamiya
May 31st, 2007
First Date with a Homicidal Maniac
Well, folks, today was the big day. That's right. Kenshin and I met up for dinner. It was just a date, nothing special. Moving on to more important things...
Ha! Who am I kidding? Kenshin is possibly one of the strangest men I've ever met, but he sure knows how to take a girl out.
I'll start from the beginning, just in case any of you are like the Weasel-girl and demand every last detail.
He picked me up from my house. I'm not sure how he figured out where my house is. For that matter, I don't know how he got my house number. Or my cell phone number. Or my work number. I don't recall giving him any of that information. Great. Now he's not just a homicidal maniac, he's a creepy stalker homicidal maniac.
Anyway, as I was saying before I went off on a tangent, he picked me up. This sounds like the beginning of the date, but actually, Misao and Megumi had invaded my house two hours beforehand to use me as their Barbie doll. After they forced me into a blue dress and some extremely tasteful makeup, and I narrowly avoided having weird things done to my fingernails by Weasel-girl, I strapped on a pair of strappy blue heels that I was bound to trip over, and I left. With every intention of waiting for the cab I had called earlier.
Okay, so I did hope that he'd come and get me, since I don't like taxis. But I didn't ask him to, or even subtly hint that I wanted him to. Well, maybe a little bit. But none of this is the point.
The point is that Kenshin called the taxi people, cancelled the taxi, paid the penalty fee, and was waiting outside for me. I suspect that Megumi and Misao set the whole thing up.
He drives a nice car. I know nothing about cars, but even I could tell it was shiny and expensive. And it was really comfy. And it doesn't make weird noises like mine. But I digress.
We drove to a nice restaurant, not so extravagant that I felt uncomfortable (much, but it was more trying not to look dumb), but classy enough that I felt important. It was a seafood restaurant, and they had excellent food.
Plus Kenshin had reserved one of those private rooms and preordered a six course meal. As you may have noticed, he seems to be one of those people who plans everything down to the teeny-weeny details. He's nitpicky, I bet.
Hopefully he won't have any problems with my less than organized lifestyle. As long as I can find things, it's okay. No matter what Megumi may say about stupid things like hygiene or whatever.
Anyways...getting back to dinner. We did a lot of talking. Normally first dates are a little bit awkward, but not this one. I felt very comfortable in his presence. Considering the way we met, I suppose it couldn't have been more awkward. At least there was no spontaneous kissing involved.
Afterwards, he dropped me off at my house and walked me to the door.
Oh, and he gave me flowers. They were really nice flowers too. White carnations and pink birds-of-paradise. I put them in a vase when I got home. Speaking of which, Misao and Megumi were hiding in my closet when I got here. They scared the life out of me.
Sorry, guys, but I have a thousand or so frames to go through and pick from to present to my clients tomorrow. All the snarky agents are coming to this meeting, so I have to be on the ball. I'll talk more tomorrow about the homicidal maniac who is Kenshin. Bye!
Kaoru Kamiya
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - -- - - - - - -
The sound of the ringing phone echoed throughout the apartment.
Kenshin put down the mop he was carrying and grabbed the phone off of the sofa. It was his personal cell phone, and caller ID told him it was Sano. He could guess what he wanted to talk about.
“Hi, Kenshin. How was your date?”
“It was fine, I didn't kill anyone, I didn't impugn on Kaoru's virtue or whatever it is you warned me not to do. Happy?”
Sano sighed. “Did she have a good time?”
“Call her and ask her, Sano. I think she did, but she's probably a good liar.”
“If she had a lousy time-“
“I'll have to leave the country and go to Bolivia and become a monk. Yes, I know. Misao told me. Repeatedly. I have food in the oven, Sano, so if you're done with the interrogation-“
“Hey! I'm just looking out for my friends!”
“Need I remind you that you were the one who set us up in the first place?” Kenshin asked, resigned. “The cookies will be ruined, Sano. I'm leaving now. If you have further questions, I don't care. Call Kaoru.”
He hung up, laughing to himself. Sano's overprotective behavior didn't bother him. In fact, it made things interesting. The date had gone well, or so he felt. She had laughed and smiled the whole time with complete sincerity, and there hadn't been any major disasters. No one had tried to assassinate him at any point, and no one had called him just to irritate him. Threatening to spike his Shishou's sake with LSD again had probably contributed to that.
By his standards, things had been perfect. He was glad he'd stolen Sano's cell phone long enough to get Kaoru's contact information two days ago at lunch. It might have been better manners to ask, but he didn't think she would give it to him.
She hadn't asked how he had gotten the numbers yet, but she had definitely wanted to. There had been definite hints that she thought something was up.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Ocean Delight was one of the finest seafood restaurants in Onyx. It had won numerous awards, rave reviews, and a wonderful reputation. As such, it had hired the premiere interior designer and architect in the area to design the building in question. The results were spectacular.
The carpet was a lush peach, and the furniture was dark ebony. The walls were washed a matching peach tone, and the upholstery was bland purple. There were crystal chandeliers and expensive china, finely dressed waiters and waitresses that earned hundred dollar tips. There was even a doorman/woman to take people's coats.
But in their back room, reserved under the name of Himura, Kenshin and Kaoru weren't looking at any of it. On Kenshin's part, it was expected; he had been here many times for both business and pleasure. That he would much rather admire Kaoru then stare at the color coordinated surroundings had nothing to do with it. Yeah, right.
Kaoru's reasons for ignoring the restaurant were more complicated. It had been relatively easy for her to figure out that Kenshin was fairly rich. Even if he hadn't told her he worked as a consultant for rich men, she would have guessed it from the looks of his clothes and car and his familiarity with the restaurant. And Kaoru wasn't rich. She wasn't poor, but her job paid much less than expected do to her boss, Roma. Roma's fickle nature tended to cause purges of employees. As a result, the higher ups had simply lowered all the salaries in that department and put the excess cash toward hiring new employees. It was enough to make Kaoru seriously consider going to work for Kamatari. Her effeminate friend had offered her a job with him more than once, saying he'd pay her more than she was making, plus bonuses. He had gone so far as to offer her the position of partner: he designed, she found models and took pictures, and they both ran shows and everything else. If Kaoru hadn't been determined to work her way up without any help from her friends, she would have been gone in a heartbeat.
Which meant Kaoru wasn't all that comfortable at an expensive restaurant. She knew it wasn't the most expensive restaurant out there, and it could have easily been worse, but she still didn't want to appear an uncultured peasant on her date. Thus, she pretended to be unimpressed with his choice of restaurant and kept her mind on the conversation.
It wasn't all that hard. Kenshin had interesting things to say.
“I see you've taken the liberty of ordering for us both.” She observed. “Did it occur to you I might want to order my own food?”
“Are you very offended, or only a little offended?” He asked her.
“Sexism is very offensive for a woman who's spent her life defying all the rules.” Kaoru told him.
“Then I'm sorry, but I did order a six course meal. There's bound to be something you like.”
“What if there isn't, hm?”
“You can call for a menu and order whatever you like. I'm footing the bill after all.”
“What makes you think I'm going to let you pay for everything?”
“It wouldn't polite to let you pay, since I invited you.”
“We'll split it. I refuse to let you pay.”
“Too bad. I paid in advance, just to prevent this argument.”
“...now I'm really offended.”
`The food will cheer you up. It's excellent seafood. Do you like crab?”
“...maybe. You'll have to wait and see.”
“Is this punishment for paying behind your back?”
“No, I prefer to let my actions do the talking. Just telling you is too easy.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The conversation hadn't really become revealing until later, he remembered. When they had gotten the swordfish, Kaoru had made a comment about how this was symbolic since she practiced kendo. This had piqued his interest, he had noticed her calluses- and they had gone into a swords discussion, which had led to all sorts of things...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“'Swords that give life'? Interesting. Where did your father come up with that?”
“I don't know.” Kaoru lied. She wasn't wiling to divulge her life story to him. Not yet. “But it's been an inspiration to me since I was a little girl. Ever since my mother died.”
“I'm sorry. I know how you feel. I don't really remember my mother or father. I was very young when I lost them.” Kenshin thought of Shishou with a wince. Some `parent' he was.
“Were you in foster care?” Kaoru asked, and then apologized at the look on his face. “Did I offend you?”
“Would it really bother you if I did? It would be just retribution, since I've offended you so much already.”
“Yes, it would. I have good manners.”
Kenshin laughed. “Right. In a manner of speaking, I was...adopted. My parents were farmers in Japan.”
“Wait, you're Japanese too? With your coloring? I thought you were either Irish or crazy.”
“No, I'm Japanese through and through. Both my parents had black hair and brown eyes, so I don't know what happened to me. But after they died, I was found by a man named Seijuro Hiko. He lives on a mountain in the middle of nowhere by himself, not far from here. He was on a trip when he found me. He was looking for an apprentice, and certain deeds of mine made him decide I'd make a good one. Unfortunately.”
“Why is it unfortunate?”
“Because he was sadistic and subsisted off sake and I wish I'd gotten him arrested for child abuse. But he was an excellent swordsman, and he taught me everything he knew.”
“You hate him?”
“No...I don't hate him. I suppose he's the closest thing I have to a family. But he really is irritating.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
She hadn't asked if his hair and eyes were natural, and for that he was grateful. It posed interesting questions, as well. Did she know what he was? Or did she know other nonhumans who had unusual features? Or was she one herself? It was likely that the last two options were true, since most of her friends that he knew of were nonhumans. And her ki wasn't human ki. He wasn't sure what it was, though.
Her perspective on her job was interesting. Despite its relative normality compared to his, she made it sound as weird as his was, although with considerable fewer perks. At least he was his own boss.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“What do you do for a living again? Sano said you were a consultant, but he says that about everyone who comes to his office who isn't supposed to be there.”
“I do free-lance consultant work.”
“And that means...?”
“I charge rich people absurd amounts of money so I can follow them around and make sarcastic remarks. Then I give them a report that makes no sense, give them an explanation which makes no sense, collect my money and leave.”
“So you're a legal thief.”
“You could say that. And you're a photographer.”
“Kind of. Officially that's what I do. But I'm really in charge of keeping everything together while my boss has hissy fits and hysterical breakdowns.”
“Your boss sounds difficult.”
“You have no idea.” Kaoru sighed. “She's the most incompetent person you can imagine. I don't know how she got hired for her job. And she's fickle. She fires someone almost every other day. I've got the record for lasting a whole six months.”
“Maybe someone will fire her. Hasn't her boss noticed the problem?”
“She's married to him. He's too afraid of her to do anything.”
“Doesn't that go against company policy?”
“Yes, but when she heard about it, Roma started crying so much that everyone's turned a blind eye to it.”
“This is why I work for myself. When you're in charge, situations like this do not happen.”
“You said you were free-lance. So you don't have coworkers, just competition.”
“Sort of. Sometimes we recommend each other to particularly stupid clients to squeeze some extra money out of them.”
“Do they all die of arsenic poisoning once they've paid you, or do you vary the method of killing?”
“What makes you think I had anything to do with Descart's death?”
“Why should I think otherwise? It is suspicious.”
“Innocent until proven guilty, Kaoru.”
“In your case, I feel inclined to believe it's the other way around.”
“Do you believe in justice?”
“If there was justice in the world, my job would be much easier and I'd only work with Class Three models.”
“You have a classification system? Based on what?”
“The way they treat the photographer and reps. Class One models are like Shaista. Except they're less delusional. They generally have the most awful agents. Easy to deal with if you can get them to shut up their agents. Class Two models are evil. They hate everyone who doesn't obey their every command. They don't have agents, and if they do the agents are terrified of them. Class Three models are the nice ones, the ones that act like real people. Usually they're new models and are all awed and grateful. They have nice agents.”
“What class of models is most abundant?”
“Class Ones. Stereotypical, I know, but it's true. They're always asking me questions like, `Is Joseph Stalin dead?'”
“Vapid and historically ignorant. There are worse things to be.”
“True enough. They can be creepy stalker homicidal maniacs.”
“Are you implying something?”
“Not at all. I'm making an accusation. I don't date creepy stalker homicidal maniacs.”
“If I see any, I'll let them know.”
- - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - -
The Online Journal of Kaoru Kamiya
June 1st, 2007
Further Analysis Of Said Homicidal Maniac
Last time, folks, we were discussing Kenshin. Well, I'm going to babble about him some more, not because I'm attracted to him as certain people have insinuated, but because he may be a homicidal maniac type person with whom I do not wish to associate.
Yeah, so on our date I not-so-subtly implied he was a homicidal maniac and he sort of admitted it by not outright denying it. Instead we verbally sparred around the question and then he distracted me by changing the subject. He did that a lot on our date, actually.
He avoids talking about himself, and when he does, I feel like I'm getting the facts but not the details. He does kenjutsu, he was raised by a swordsman, and he has calluses on his hands. So I can assume he practices often. It would be interesting to spar with him...although he uses an actual steel sword. Doesn't mean I'd lose, there are techniques for using wood against steel, but it would complicate things a little more than I'd care for.
Free-lance consultant work? Ha! Maybe that's what he does as a cover, but I don't believe that's actually what he does. He avoids discussing his job too much for that to be true. Maybe he kills people. That would fit in with the whole arsenic poisoning thing.
And he's sexist! He paid for everything! He ordered for me! He was evilly polite and nice, and this is clearly a sign that there is something wrong with him. Or maybe I'm just used to being set up with Misao's friends and haven't had enough experience with normal people, or at least chivalrous people.
Oh, no. Misao is ringing my doorbell. No doubt she wants to hear the details of my date. I avoided her with work last time, but in my zest to escape her I finished everything early.
Bye! If I survive, I'll discuss Kenshin's stalker-like qualities later.
Kaoru Kamiya