Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Shards of Me ❯ A Glimmer of Distant Stars ( Chapter 13 )

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the property of Nobuhiro Watsuki. The main plotline of this story is completely fictional. Situations should in no way be considered truthful or based on real events. Political opinions expressed in the story are mine. If you do not agree with said opinions, do not flame me for them. Do not stoop so low as to berate me for what I hold to be truthful. Some smaller side stories may be based on factual events. I will alert you if they are.

 

Warnings: Language

 

Shards of Me

 

Chapter VIII: A Glimmer of Distant Stars

 

Kaoru sat off to one side of the dance floor, trying desperately to politely listen to the conversation, even though she could barely focus on anything anymore. Megumi had introduced her to a man shortly before Christmas and he'd been showing up at gatherings with her and her friends ever since. His name was Akitoki and he was a sweet young man, but incredibly dull and slightly more forward than she would have preferred. His tendency to put an arm around her or give her pecks on the cheek was disconcerting and, she didn't like the attention, but wasn't sure how to politely tell him to go away.

 

Currently, he was talking her ear off about some new breakthrough in the medical field and the implications it had for constipation sufferers everywhere. Her mind could not have been further from his voice. Her thoughts shifted erratically between their usual fixation on a redheaded man with shadowed eyes and also on the ultimatum her landlord had given her that day. Three days to pay the rent or her furniture would be collected for the amount owed and the rest of her belongings would be shoved out on the street.

 

“Hey guys,” Sano burst over, breaking her train of thought.

 

“Hi, Sano,” Kaoru said wearily, wondering whether to be irritated with his cheerful mood or grateful for the distraction.

 

“Kaoru, care for a dance for old time's sake?”

 

“Sano, I don't…”

 

“I believe Kaoru is fine just sitting here,” Akitoki jumped in, his eyes challenging. That was another thing about the boy. He was annoyingly possessive. Just to spite him, Kaoru stood.

 

“Actually, I'd love to, Sano.”

 

Sano grinned and bowed while offering her a hand. She smiled at his joking manner, suddenly glad to be getting away from the table. She glanced over her shoulder as Sano led her away and couldn't help but smile a bit at the put-out look on Akitoki's face.

 

“Figured I'd rescue you before you got so bored you melted into the chair,” Sano murmured under his breath as he put his arms around her waist, lifting her enough that she could look him in the eye.

 

“Thanks, Sano. I do appreciate it. However, just because you're tall doesn't mean you have to rub it in. Put me down.”

 

He grinned sheepishly as he loosened his grip a bit and allowed her to go back to her feet. Her hands settled on his shoulders as they began swaying slightly to the slow beat of the music.

 

“Hey uh…Jou-chan…you'd talk to me if you needed help right?”

 

Kaoru stiffened in his arms as his question hit a little too close to home. “Of course, Sano. That's what I keep you around for.” Sano's eyebrows rose at her slightly strained smile and falsely bright tone.

 

He moved to open his mouth when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He knew precisely who stood behind him and took a deep breath before releasing Kaoru with one hand so he could turn to look at the man behind him. “May I cut in?”

 

Sano felt Kaoru stiffen in the shelter of his other arm as she took in the other man standing quietly on the dance floor. “Sure,” Sano said, his voice both warning and encouragement. His eyes spoke loud and clear. This is your last chance. If you screw this up, we won't let you near her again.

 

Kenshin nodded his understanding as Sano stepped away from Kaoru and moved off the dance floor. He watched her for a moment as she shrank into herself, her eyes on the floor and her arms wrapped around her body. She looked suddenly so small, so injured.

 

Oh so gently, he took each of her hands in his own and placed them on his shoulders before putting his hands on her waist. Slowly he drew her into the circle of his arms, bringing her closer and closer until he'd pulled her into a hug. “I'm so sorry,” he whispered in her hair. “I'm so sorry for everything. I can't imagine how, but if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I plan to make it up to you. I'm so sorry.”

 

Kaoru felt the tears gathering in her eyes and turned her head into his shoulder to hide her face. “For how long?” she whispered, leaving the rest of the question unspoken. How long will you torture me this time before leaving again?

 

“As long as you'll allow me,” he answered, tightening his arms slightly.

 

“There's so much more to say…” she whispered, her voice defeated; she already knew that she would forgive him for everything. How could she not after everything she'd been through to get this far…everything he'd been through.

 

“It will be said…in time…”

 

oOoOoOoOo

 

Kenshin held Kaoru to him for the next three songs before he felt a rather rude tap on his shoulder. He held still for a moment before slowly backing away from her and turning to face the person who'd intruded on their silent reconciliation.

 

“I think you've kept her to yourself for long enough,” stated a young man with naïve eyes and neatly cut brown hair. “Maybe you should give her some room to breathe.”

 

“Akitoki, I'm fine,” Kaoru interjected, her voice rough. “Kenshin's a…a friend of mine who I haven't seen for a while.”

 

The brown-haired main, Akitoki, humphed loudly and studied Kenshin. “Well, maybe you two can reacquaint some other time. I think everyone's leaving.”

 

Kaoru glanced around at her friends. Aoshi and Misao were currently very wrapped up in each other and seemed to have no intention of changing that in the near future. Sano and Megumi were sitting off to the side sharing drinks. She moved to reply to Akitoki and Kenshin beat her to it.

 

“Kaoru, are you sure you're feeling alright, because I can drive you home if you'd like. The others appear otherwise occupied, and I wouldn't want to interrupt them.”

 

Her eyes darted between Kenshin and Akitoki, who seemed to be unable to find something to say in the face of Kenshin's rather intimidating tone. Part of her desperately wanted to be alone with Kenshin to talk to him. She'd missed him so badly that at this point she'd take any sort of contact. On the other hand, she didn't want to make their friendship too easy yet. Part of her was still terrified that he would be off and away again in an instant with little or no warning and she would be alone again. Just as Akitoki opened his mouth to reply, she made her decision.

 

“That would be great, Kenshin. Sorry, Akitoki, but I really do want to do some catching up.” Among other things.

 

The brown-haired man nodded slowly, his eyes caught somewhere between hurt and jealousy. “I'll see you later then, Kaoru. Bye.”

 

“Bye, Akitoki.” She watched him make his way back to the booth as Kenshin slowly began leading her through the crowd. She felt the others' eyes on her back as they walked out and vaguely wondered how much of a hand they'd had in making sure she wound up with Kenshin. A smile slowly curled her lips as they walked out into the chill winter air. It was nice to feel cared for again.

 

oOoOoOoOo

 

The drive to Kaoru's apartment was quiet, but the quiet was comfortable…comforting even. Kenshin concentrated mostly on the road, but he didn't seem tense or nervous, an aura of calm he created allowed Kaoru to relax as well. She glanced at him on occasion and couldn't help feeling joy alongside the usual stab of betrayal. He still had a great deal to account for, but for some reason, his coming back this time seemed different. He seemed prepared to take on whatever she could throw at him and willing to accept that which he'd previously pushed away. Or maybe she was reading too much into things. It was just so hard to know what he was thinking or planning.

 

They arrived at her building and Kenshin led her to the door. She looped her hand through his and didn't even ask if he wanted to come up for tea. Rather, she simply pulled him up the stairs, and he complied willingly.

 

“What would you like to drink?” she asked him as she hung up her coat and set her shoes aside.

 

“Green tea is fine.”

 

She made the tea as Kenshin settled himself and took into account the differences in her apartment. One of her living room chairs had gone missing and the art pieces she'd had hanging on the wall were also gone. Knickknacks from her shelves had mysteriously disappeared and the entire space seemed painfully plain and bare without them. He was glad to see she'd kept her father's sword if nothing else.

 

She set a steaming cup of tea in front of him and settled at the table, looking peaceful but wary. She kept glancing at him from under her bangs, as though afraid he'd disappear if she looked away for too long. Part of him grudgingly admitted that the fear was real.

 

There was still a very big part of him convinced that he was making a mistake by doing this, but it was overpowered by his less sensible more passionate feelings where she was concerned. It was also silenced by the things all of his friends had shared with him. If Kaoru was in trouble and he could help her, absolutely nothing, not even his own misgivings, was going to stop him.

 

“How…how have you been?” he asked her after a moment, hating how impersonal the question seemed.

 

“I'm…the kids are taking a toll on me. They're all starting to get stir crazy with being locked up for winter and it's showing in the classrooms. It's just been…very stressful.”

 

“What about outside of work?”

 

She glanced up at him sharply, wondering exactly how much he knew about her situation.

 

“It's been…alright. I mean, I've been a little lonely because Megumi and Sano have each been very busy and Aoshi and Misao were away on business for a while.”

 

Kenshin lapsed into silence as Kaoru's lips sealed tightly, frown lines forming around her eyes and on her forehead. The lines around her face made her seem ten years older. She suddenly seemed to match him perfectly: too much seen in too little time, too many worries piled on such young shoulders.

 

“Kaoru, Sano told me.”

 

She looked up at him sharply. “Told you what?” she asked, her voice high and soft.

 

“About your monetary troubles.”

 

Her eyes widened before her face became stony.

 

“Well, it wasn't his place. He probably exaggerated. I'll be fine.”

 

“Why are your mother's China plates gone?”

 

She blanched before turning her head to the side. “I…I thought it was time to let go.” Her voice was unconvincing.

 

“What about that Van Gogh print that you saved for two months to afford?”

 

“Damn it, Kenshin! I'm fine! I can handle this!”

 

“Kaoru, no one wants to see you kicked out on the streets. Everyone is worried about you. We want to help you if you'll let us.”

 

“Is that what this is about? Is that the only reason you came back? Because everyone else is too afraid to just confront me about my money? They had to bribe you into coming back just about this? Well if that's the case than get the hell out right now!” She stood, her face flaming with anger and shame as she pointed at the door.

 

Kenshin stood just as quickly, his eyes narrowing and taking on a steely glint. “Do not make everyone else look like the villain here. We're all worried about you and we want you to know that. Don't make that sound like something cowardly. We want to help you.”

 

“By doing what, Kenshin? I don't need Sano and Aoshi and Megumi and Misao paying my bills just because they have the spare money. I can do this on my own and I will.”

 

“But what happens if you can't?”

 

The soft question broke her argument cleanly in two. She looked at him with angry eyes before turning her head to the side and laughing bitterly. “God,” she muttered, “five minutes alone with you in a room and I'm already ripping your head off again.”

 

“I don't mind,” he said with a slight smirk. “You were the only one besides Hiko who would ever say what was on your mind to me, no matter how painfully truthful it might be.”

 

She glanced at him and gave him a wry smile, which fell away again almost immediately. “Until you came back.”

 

That silenced him for a moment and studied her profile. “I did the same to you.”

 

“Yes, but…” she choked on the words and turned to put the teacups in the sink. Kenshin stole both cups from her hands with ease and beat her to the task, turning to intercept her.

 

“But what?” he asked, his voice deep and suspicious.

 

“Well…you've always…I mean…” She took a deep breath and began again.

 

“You've always been a guarded individual, Kenshin. Even after we'd been friends for years, there were still times when you'd shut everyone out and even I had no idea what you were thinking. You were usually open with me, but there were still times when I couldn't be sure how much of the truth you were bending. I didn't mind when we were younger because I didn't feel like I was entitled to your thoughts. It just bothered me when you came back because…”

 

She trailed off as though suddenly unsure.

 

“Because?” he prodded, taking a step closer.

 

She glanced up at him and sighed. “Because…I don't honestly know. It just…hurt…”

 

Kenshin's eyes narrowed further. He had a hunch that there was more to what she was saying, but wasn't sure how to go about getting her to talk about it. They stood facing each other for quite some time before Kaoru let out another sigh and turned back to the table, reaching for her briefcase to put it in its place in her living room.

 

The movement broke the tension between them and Kenshin visibly relaxed himself.

 

“Kenshin, I'm touched by everyone's concern for me. I am. I just…I'm a fully-grown woman. Is it so wrong to want to be able to take care of myself for a change?”

 

“There's nothing wrong with that, Kaoru. Just don't let your pride burn you.”

 

She looked at him over her shoulder, her eyes guarded but questioning.

 

He glanced at the clock and realized it was later than he'd expected. “I should be going,” he said softly, moving to her and gently wrapping her in a hug to let her know he hadn't taken offense to what had passed between them earlier.

 

“See you later,” she said as he pulled away. He heard the question in her voice, even if she hadn't meant it to be there.

 

“Anytime you'd like,” he told her truthfully and retreated to the door. “Goodnight.”

 

“Night, Kenshin.”

 

She turned to go to bed, but stopped when he spoke again.

 

“Kaoru…if you can't…I mean…”

 

He glanced back at her before turning to leave.

 

“My door will always be open to you.” And then he was gone and Kaoru was left in her dark apartment feeling like she'd just lost something.

 

oOoOoOoOo

 

Three days later, Kenshin was up late. Sano had called and said he'd seen Kaoru packing up her car as she vacated her apartment. Whether or not she would come to him, he wasn't sure, but he just wanted to be ready. He was nearly asleep on the couch when a knock sounded on his door. However, when he checked the peephole, Kaoru was not the person waiting for him on the other side of the door. Quickly he undid the locks and opened it.

 

Sano waited on the other side, his cheeks flushed with cold and his dark eyes worried. “Has Kaoru stopped by?”

 

“No. What's happened?”

 

“No one's quite sure where she's gone but she's for sure not in her apartment. We don't know if she'd have enough money on her to go anywhere right now. Aoshi's combing our usual haunts looking for her.”

 

“Has anyone checked with Hiko?”

 

“No. We thought we should leave that to you.”

 

“Let me get my coat.”

 

oOoOoOoOo

 

The closer they got to Hiko's, the more he felt they were headed to the right place. When Kaoru had been troubled other times in her life, she often escaped to his old home. Hiko always took her in, even after Kenshin had moved out. Sano pulled to a screeching halt outside the old dojo. “If she's here, you want me to wait for you guys?”

 

“No. If she's here, we'll just stay here. If she's not, I want to see what Hiko knows.”

 

“Alright. Call me either way.”

 

“Thanks, Sano.”

 

“As always, don't screw anything up.”

 

Kenshin gave a wry grin as he stepped out of the car. “Gee, you're welcome, Kenshin. It was my pleasure,” the redhead said in a mocking voice. Sano grinned but didn't respond to Kenshin's teasing.

 

Kenshin made his way up the icy sidewalk, watching his breath move in frozen clouds as he tried to decide on a course of action. If she was at Hiko's, what was he going to do? She'd probably be pissed off enough that he'd found her to refuse to talk to him for the rest of the night. Maybe he should just let her stew. But if she wasn't here…

 

Maybe Hiko would have a good general idea of where she would go.

 

Hiko opened the door before Kenshin even knocked.

 

“About time you got here,” he growled, stepping aside to let the smaller man in. “She's asleep in your old room.”

 

Kenshin removed his coat and scarf as he looked back at Hiko, expecting more information.

 

“She got here and she was already in tears, so I did the fatherly thing and gave her hug and a big jug of sake.”

 

Kenshin snorted at Hiko's ideas on fatherly affection, but decided perhaps it was best that he had time to consider what to say to her.

 

“What do you intend to do, now that you're here?”

 

“I'd…I thought I'd…” Kenshin drifted off, not sure exactly how to tell Hiko he'd been planning on asking Kaoru to move in with him.

 

“That's what I thought. She's welcome to stay here, but I know she'll think I'm acting out of pity. Heaven forbid anyone ever do anything for that girl because he or she loves her. However, I'm willing to hogtie her to send her off with you, provided you're not planning on doing anything stupid…again.”

 

Kenshin snorted in indignation, even though he knew such worries were probably well placed. “I'm not planning on going anywhere this time. She needs me, so I'll be here.”

 

“Good. Sake?”

 

“No, thanks. I think I'm just going to go sleep and think.”

 

“The bed in the guest room doesn't have any linens right now.” There was no possible way for Kenshin to mistake the command hidden beneath the offhand comment.

 

“And you're sure she won't wake up and start trying to tear my hair out?”

 

“I can assure you if Kaoru sees you, her initial impulse will be to slap you and then throw herself into your arms and start crying.”

 

“Glad you're so enthusiastic about all this, Hiko.”

 

“Get in there.”

 

Kenshin sighed and braced himself, hoping Kaoru really was asleep. “Yessir.” With uncannily quiet movement, Kenshin slipped into his old room and prepared himself.

 

 

 

oOoOoOoOo

 

Hiko was at least right about one right thing. Kaoru was out like a light. As he entered the room, he could see her curled onto a tight ball on his bed, not even covered with a blanket. Her body was utterly still and he knew without doubt that she would not wake for anything short of an earthquake. He slid his door shut, gave himself a moment to adjust to the darkness, and then flitted around his room, readying himself for bed.

 

When he was clothed in an old set of pajamas and his hair flowed loose around his shoulders, he faced his most pressing dilemma. Sleep next to her? Sleep on the floor? Screw the linens and sleep in the guest bed? He threw that idea out almost immediately. Hiko would catch him and turn him right back around. Though this situation wasn't his fault, all of his friends were expecting him to amend Kaoru's housing crisis in order to make up for the other things he'd done wrong for the last five years or so.

 

Well, first things first, he thought to himself. Digging into his closet he found a large, if musty, down comforter to throw over Kaoru's sleeping form. She seemed to relax as the warmth settled around her. Looking back into the closet, Kenshin discovered a microfleece throw he felt would be sufficient for his needs. Settling against the wall, he stared at Kaoru's still form.

 

Though he couldn't see her face, he could only imagine too well the streaks and red puffiness clouding her face from long crying. If there was one thing she despised above all else, it was the loss of her independence. He imagined this experience was probably the worst one in her life since her father's passing. Or perhaps he was wrong. After all, she wasn't catatonic as she'd apparently been after his leaving.

 

Contemplating the woman draped across his old bed, Kenshin drifted off into fitful sleep.

 

It seemed only moments later that his eyes were fluttering open again, a response to the muffled gasp he heard from the bed. Kaoru was awake, sitting up. Her eyes were wide as she took in his vigilant post, but almost immediately she bolted off the bed. Kenshin feared that he'd startled her and she was running. Immediately he rose and followed after her with all of his nearly unnatural speed, but came up short when he realized she'd actually been heading for the bathroom. He winced at the sound of her retching, but entered to pull her ponytail away from the mess.

 

“Damn alcohol,” he heard her mutter when she'd finished with her first bout. “Damn Hiko. Shouldn't have come to see the damn drunk.”

 

Kenshin waited a moment to see if she would have a recurrence of her illness before moving to the cupboard to get ibuprofen.

 

“Too loud,” she groaned as he opened the squeaky door.

 

“I'm sorry, Kaoru. I'll put some WD-40 on it tomorrow.”

 

She was silent as he retrieved four pills from the bottle, offering them to her with the glass always kept on the sink countertop. She took them from his hands wearily and quickly downed both.

 

“Ugh…now I remember why I don't get drunk.”

 

“Because you can't hold your liquor to save your life?” he prodded, his voice gently teasing but still concerned.

 

“Because one of you inevitably ends up seeing me like this, and that's something I'd prefer to avoid. Will you help me back to the bed?”

 

“Of course.” He crouched next to her and slung her arm around his shoulders, deciding that he valued his clothes enough not to risk another bout of illness while carrying her. Rising very slowly, he guided her back to his room.

 

“Shouldn't you take me to the guest room?”

 

“No linens.”

 

“I thought I saw blankets in there when I passed by.”

 

Kenshin gritted his teeth at Hiko's blatant lie. Not much he could do about it now.

 

“You must have imagined it.”

 

She was silent as they covered the remainder of the hallway. Just as he prepared to deposit her on the bed, she hiccupped, bringing attention to the silent tears now on her face. Shame, he supposed, rather than actual sadness.

 

“They called you and told you didn't they?”

 

“Kaoru, they were worried. What did you expect? That they'd just leave you alone when you had nowhere to stay. Hell, everyone's offered you their houses.”

 

“But I don't want it! No one will charge me rent. They're all too damn nice to do that.”

 

He was silent. What good would lying do?

 

“Goddamn it.”

 

She sagged onto the bed, clutching her head in response to her stress.

 

“I'm going to get you another glass of water,” he told her, his voice unsure.

 

She waited in silence. What do people do when they have no home? she wondered. What do they do when they have a job and still can't afford a decent place? I suppose I could move into Kenshin's apartment complex. That place will definitely be cheap enough and I'll be closer…or would that be more painful? To be so near him. I don't even know any more. It seems like I've been feeling this pain for so long. What's a little more to add on top of it?

 

Kenshin returned with a full glass of cool-but-not-cold water and handed it to her, making sure that she drank it all. When she finished he took the glass and exited again, returning just a moment later with even more water.

 

“Great,” she grumbled. “Now I'm gonna have to pee.”

 

“You would have had to anyway,” he told her knowingly.

 

“Shut up.”

 

He said nothing more.

 

She finished off the next glass and rose, more steady on her feet now. Shoving the glass back at his chest, she stalked off to the bathroom. “She always was pissy hungover,” he muttered as he took the glass back to the kitchen.

 

He returned to the room before she did and dithered at the door, unsure what to do with himself. Kaoru stumbled back after a few minutes. She looked a bit better, like she might have splashed her face with water or brushed her teeth. Something to make her feel more human.

 

She stopped in the doorway and stared at him, standing awkwardly halfway between her and the bed.

 

“I feel like shit and you're in mother-hen mode,” she growled at him. “We'll talk in the morning when we're both more sane.”

 

Kenshin nodded after a moment. Perhaps it would be best if they refrained from talking until she was less like an angry cat and he was feeling less like a blue-footed booby.

 

oOoOoOoOo

 

When Kenshin woke in the morning, the bed was already made, and Kaoru was nowhere in sight. Rising, he folded his blanket and laid it on the foot of the bed before wandering to the kitchen. Sure enough, Hiko was there with her, frying eggs. A stack of pancakes was already laid out. Kaoru was poking meekly at a lone pancake on her plate.

 

“Come on, Kaoru,” Kenshin heard Hiko say as he entered. “Best way to start feeling better is to get some food in your stomach.”

 

“Not if I barf it back up again,” she growled, but so softly Kenshin wasn't sure if Hiko would have heard.

 

Settling across from her at the island, he quietly started forking pancakes onto his plate. Without turning, Hiko said, “I hope you have a plan in mind.”

 

Kenshin gritted his teeth, but decided to just go along with his master's demands. “Kaoru…”

 

“I don't want to hear it,” she cut him off sharply. “I can't possibly imagine any plan that you would come up that I could ever find acceptable. No matter what, I'm somebody's charity case, right?”

 

“Kaoru, I had actually…”

 

“Just shut up, Kenshin. The both of you actually. I appreciate everything you've both ever done for me, especially when my father… However, I'm a grown woman now and I should be able to take care of myself. Wouldn't you agree?”

 

“Sometimes everybody needs help, Kaoru,” Kenshin murmured, thinking of his own personal difficulties, the nightmares that still plagued him, that bottle of Jack that too often found its way down his throat.

 

Kaoru opened her mouth like she was going to argue with him, but stopped short, huffing angrily before raising her fork to begin dissecting her pancake.

 

Hiko brought the fried eggs over in the interim of harsh silence, forking some onto all of their plates before settling his massive self onto the barstool at the end of the island. Kenshin raised his brow skeptically, wondering if the poor, rickety stool would give out under the enormity of its burden.

 

Hiko and Kenshin both ate their breakfasts while Kaoru continued to do rather unspeakable things to her pancake. Finally, Hiko put his fork down with rather more force than necessary.

 

“Kaoru, because your father is not here to knock some sense into you, it seems that joyous job falls to me.

 

“Everybody has rough times in life, Kaoru. Once my landlord booted me out for putting a hole through the wall. Now admittedly this might have been the tenth or eleventh time, but still. No deposit return, no chance to collect my furniture, he just booted me out with only a duffle bag full of clothes and my last twenty dollars. I may not ask for help often, Kaoru, but I knew that this was one of those times where I was gonna have to swallow my pride. So swallow your Goddamned pride already, girl. There are people who want to help you and you're just giving them the cold shoulder because you think they pity you. You are more wrong than you can imagine. Megumi, Sano, Aoshi, Misao, Kenshin and I…we all love you, girl, and it hurts us to watch you go through this.

 

“Now, eat your poor pancake already. It's suffered enough. I'm going grocery shopping. I'll see you both in a bit.”

 

As Hiko rose, he gave Kenshin a piercing look, eyebrow raised in pointed commentary. The redhead nodded in consent, understanding that it was his turn.

 

He waited for the door to slam and the car to leave before collecting plates and depositing them in the dishwasher. Kaoru had finally started eating, her movements sluggish.

 

“Did you already take another dose of ibuprofen?”

 

“With the headache I woke up with? Of course.”

 

He nodded and disappeared to his room, finding a pair of ancient hole-riddled jeans and a cotton shirt with dissolving stitches to wear for the day. They were from about eighth grade, but the stupid things still fit him so he still wore them, in spite of their near-dishrag appearance.

 

Emerging, he found that Kaoru had abandoned her pancake. Did she leave again? he wondered. God, I hope Hiko took her car. That would stop her.

 

As if in answer, he heard the shower scream to life with piping hot water. He winced at the high-pitched whine, waiting for the temperatures to equalize and dampen the noise. I need to fix that somehow, he noted to himself as he migrated to the living room, flipping on the TV and finding the most mindless thing he could imagine.

 

As he vaguely listened to Anthony Bourdain complain about the thin atmosphere in the heart of the Himalayas, he let his thoughts wander. They moved lazily, as though they were fighting through a current of molasses.

 

What day is it anyway? Do I have to work? I think it's Friday. Wait, doesn't that mean Kaoru has to work? Shit. What time is it anyway? Do I have time to insist she move into my new apartment with me? Would she believe me? I really can't afford that place's rent and I was banking on having her helping out. What if she says no? What's she going to do then? What am I gonna do then? Oh fuck.

 

Each thought bubbled to the forefront in slow motion, giving Kenshin entirely too much time to react. On the upside, he felt incapable of panicking. Panic wouldn't do anyone any good anymore. Forcibly, he blanked his mind and focused on the television.

 

Ten minutes later the shower sputtered to a halt and he heard Kaoru and she bumbled her way through the bathing goods. He kept his eyes trained on the television as he heard her pad down the hallway, but was nearly compelled to turn when she moved back past the living room and straight towards the garage entrance. Moments later, a lightly hissed “Fuck” reached his ears. She raised her voice a bit and said, “Kenshin, can I borrow some clothes. Hiko took my car and my suitcase is in there.”

 

“Uh, yeah,” he called back, silently thanking Hiko ten times over. His master had made this infinitely easier. She was mumbling as she passed back, something along the lines of “he's way too big for it.”

 

The sound of her rummaging through his drawers alerted him that he needed to be prepared. He needed to have his arguments arranged and thought out, show her that moving in with him was clearly her only choice if she didn't want to take the others' “pity.” This was just like presenting a verbal argument in college. Lay out the facts and give little room for argument. He needed to…to…to really not think about how good she looked in one of his ancient button-ups and a pair of athletic shorts.

 

…Really, really not think about it.

 

She settled next to him on the sofa, turning her eyes towards the TV. “So what's on?”

 

He couldn't tell if she was trying to lighten the mood or just avoid the subject.

 

“Um…have you ever seen No Reservations?”

 

“Hmm…don't think so.”

 

“Imagine Dr. Cox except as a travel show host.”

 

“Oh, I bet I'll like it.”

 

They both focused on the television, although if Kaoru had asked him a question about something on it, he wouldn't have been able to answer for the life of him. After about fifteen minutes of planning and of not thinking about Kaoru's wardrobe choice, Kenshin gathered his strength and began.

 

“Kaoru, I…”

 

“Kenshin. Stuff it. If I don't agree to someone's plan, I'm well aware that I will be hogtied until I `come to my senses.' So just tell me what everyone's agreed on.”

 

“Well…uh…”

 

Kenshin was caught off guard. He'd been expecting such a big long argument.

 

She turned to glance at him. “Kenshin, if there's one thing I've been taught in the last few months, it's that I should get everything out in the open instead of just bottling it up. You people think I need help. Fine. I don't, but I'm clearly overruled. You can't tell me that you all didn't create some sort of insane plan. I'm sure Sano and Aoshi have known about this for weeks now.”

 

“Well, they actually left the plan up to me.”

 

Kaoru raised a brow. Kenshin was not exactly on Aoshi's top-ten-people-to-rely-on list at the moment. Sano would just as soon punch the redhead's lights out as look at him. As far as she knew, the girls held similar opinions.

 

“See, I just moved into a better apartment. There was a murder near that old one and…well, you know. Didn't seem like the most wholesome neighborhood. Thing is, with real estate being what it is right now, it's hard for me to pay rent without a roommate. So I had thought…”

 

Kaoru stared at him, her eyes growing wider with each passing word. “Room…mate?” she squeaked.

 

“Well…yeah,” he mumbled, his face flaming.

 

“Kenshin, surely you remember how well that worked the last time…”

 

He bit his lip hard, tasting copper in his mouth as a dry patch cracked and bled. “I…I remember very well.”

 

“And what makes you think this is goi…”

 

“Because I will be better. I'm…getting better. I started going to a therapist that Saitoh recommended and I don't plan on being so…the way I was. This time we won't be strangers living under the same roof. We'll be…friends.”

 

He paused, his voice rough with the emotion their prior experiences had left in him. He would not be such an idiot this time. He would not lose her to his own cowardice.

 

“That is,” he added softly, “if you'd still like to be friends.”

 

The last thing he expected was for her to throw the pillow at him. She picked up one of the black poufs on the end of the couch and hurled it right at his humiliated face.

 

“K…Kaoru?” he chirped as another pillow sailed at him.

 

“You really are an idiot,” she growled. The last thing she threw at him was herself. With definitive action, she wrapped her arms around him and planted her face in his shoulder. Enough crying, she told herself, biting her lips to hold back the stinging tears. I've cried too much.

 

“Of course I want to be your friend. I miss you and care for you too much not to want that.”

 

Tentatively, he hugged her back. “Does…that mean you'll move in?”

 

“Well, where else am I gonna go?” she mumbled. “But, does it have to be today. I was kind of hoping to spend the weekend with Hiko.”

 

“We can stay the weekend. I'm fine with that.”

 

“And then I'll come…well, it'll be home soon enough, I suppose.”

 

A/N: Remember how I said there was going to be another interlude? I lied. It didn't really fit in the writing style of this story, so I posted it as a separate one-shot. It's up and ready for reading and you can get to it from my author's page. So this will be the last chapter for quite a while. I'm doing an intensive language school that requires its participants to speak, read, and write only the languages they're studying. Nine weeks of absolutely no English besides the occasional call to my folks. But a really long chapter right? See? Things are on the mend. Kenshin can't be an idiot forever, and he is only human. Eventually, personal desires will overrule whatever stupid moral compass he's got himself on. Also, I wrote this long before the economy fell apart. So again, I apologize if this is too close to home. My father's joined the ranks of the unemployed and I'm frankly very grateful that I've got a job.

 

“Hate War, Love the…Warrior.” -Lt. Gen. Harold Moore