Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Snow ❯ Healing and Hurting ( Chapter 6 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Serenitychan13 
As Sanosuke's wounds are treated, some information comes into the light that nearly breaks Souzou's heart.
Anime/Manga: Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 05.20.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.5K | Visits: 299 | Status: Completed
As Sanosuke's wounds are treated, some information comes into the light that nearly breaks Souzou's heart.
Anime/Manga: Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 05.20.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.5K | Visits: 299 | Status: Completed
The next morning, Dr. Shimada was back once again at the front door that was becoming increasingly familiar to him. Midori had looked worried, but it seemed that she knew the boy's life was not in immediate danger. The doctor followed Midori down a different hall this time to a spare bedroom. When he saw the young boy inside, his old heart tightened painfully. The kid looked like he had been to Hell and back.
"He turned up last night," said Souzou quietly. "Wasn't inside for more than ten minutes before he fainted."
Dr. Shimada nodded and settled beside the boy's futon. Aside from being fairly pale and having a slightly rapid pulse, it looked like the boy had mostly surface scratches. There were a few wounds that needed stitches and a burn mark on his arm, but he was definitely going to live.
"Is he going to be alright?" asked Midori, almost afraid to hear the answer.
"He does need stitches in a few of the more serious cuts and there's a burn on his arm that worries me," said the doctor. "But he'll be fine once everything starts healing up."
Souzou visibly relaxed, a relieved smile coming over his face.
"Thank God," he said softly, running one hand through his hair. "I never would have stopped blaming myself if... if he didn't make it..."
Midori excused herself to find another towel and boil some water, greatly relieved that the boy was going to be alright. Within minutes, she was back with both in hand. Souzou sat beside Sanosuke's futon, going over some things in his head.
'Before he fainted, he said the Sekihoutai was gone,' he thought, not misunderstanding the meaning of the words, just wondering how long it would be until it affected his family. 'All that blood on his clothes... a lot of it isn't his, I don't think... That means...'
He swallowed hard, unable to finish the thought.
Sanosuke whimpered softly as Dr. Shimada began his work, first cleaning the wounds with alcohol. Souzou winced as well, remembering how badly that had hurt. A few times, when the poor boy actually cried out in pain and tried to move, he held him still. Midori saw the way her husband looked at the young boy, how gentle his actions were towards him.
'That's almost the same way he looks at Toshio,' she thought. 'The boy is part of the Sekihoutai, but the two of them seem to have some special bond... Almost like father and son, but not quite... It's like Souzou doesn't really know what to do.'
She joined her husband at Sanosuke's side, taking a smaller towel and wiping the dirt and dried blood from his thin face. He obviously had no family to return to, so he had come here. The look of sheer terror in his eyes before he fainted refused to leave her mind.
Souzou and Midori were both so deep in thought that they almost didn't hear Dr. Shimada saying "He'll need to stay in bed for a while. I'd say two days at most, just to give everything a chance to close up." The two of them looked greatly relieved, but Souzou had a different look in his eyes. Dr. Shimada didn't have to look twice to notice the fatherly love in his gaze and in his actions. He smiled to himself, knowing that the boy was in good hands.
"What about the burn?" asked Souzou, his voice low and quiet.
Dr. Shimada looked at the burn on the boy's arm with a critical eye. The skin wasn't blistered, just very smooth and discolored. It looked as if the boy had somehow recieved a bad puncture wound and tried to cauterize it himself. It was a serious burn and would probably leave a pretty noticeable scar, but it wouldn't cause any permanent harm. Anyway, this one looked like it was at least a week old. If anything was going to happen, it would have happened by now.
"It looks like an old wound," said the doctor quietly. "So there really isn't much I can do. I have to say, he'll probably have that scar for the rest of his life. It was definitely a puncture wound."
Souzou's face turned white as he realized why there was a burn mark if it had initially been a puncture. Tenderly, his fingertips barely touching the boy's skin, he traced the edges of the burn. He bit his lip and Midori could have sworn she saw tears in his eyes.
"It's my fault..." he whispered so softly he thought no one could hear him. "It's my fault. I should have been there..."
Midori was listening to the rest of the doctor's instructions as they headed for the front door. When she came back, her heart almost tore in two at the sight in front of her. Souzou had the boy cradled in his arms, his shoulders shaking. He was crying softly and whispering 'It's my fault' over and over, both sounds almost inaudible.
"How long have you known him?" she asked quietly as she settled beside her husband and put a hand on his shoulder.
"All his life..." replied Souzou, his voice shaking. "He was my best friend's son. His mother died having him and... and apparently Reichi was killed in the battle he was trying to tell me about... That has to be the reason he turned up here in the middle of the night looking like he'd been through some kind of war... He had been... Sanosuke would never have left his father as long as he was alive..."
"Oh, darling," she whispered, wrapping one arm around her husband's shoulders and stroking Sanosuke's hair with her other hand. "I know how close you and Reichi were..."
"I told you that when Sanosuke was born, his mother died," he said quietly. "Well a few years later there was a huge battle. As we were going in, Reichi asked me to take care of Sanosuke if anything happened to him... I gave him my word that day and I intend to keep it."
Midori smiled and kissed a tear away from Souzou's cheek.
"Of course," she said softly, resting her head on his shoulder. "I know you must keep your promise... He'll stay with us from now on."
Souzou looked at his wife with tears still in his eyes.
"Midori," he breathed. "Do you mean it?"
She didn't say anything, just lifted her head off his shoulder and kissed him gently.
"Never been more serious in my life," she said quietly. "I can tell how much he means to you."
Sanosuke whimpered softly and said "Dad?" softly as if he were still hoping his father would answer. Souzou and Midori looked down at him to see tears streaming out of his eyes.
"He must be dreaming about what happened to Reichi," Souzou whispered, his voice choking. "I just hope he didn't see it... But from the look of it, I think he did..."
When Midori touched Sanosuke's cheek, brushing his tears away, his eyes flew open and he tried to sit up. Souzou still held him down to make sure he didn't pull his stitches. He looked up at them, tears making his brown eyes seem almost black in the dim light.
"I miss my dad," he said, his voice bitter. "I just feel like I should have stopped it somehow... Can't help feeling like it's my fault."
Souzou swallowed hard and tentatively pulled the boy close to his chest, trying hard not to break down. Right now, Sanosuke needed him to stay strong. There was time to grieve for his friend later.
"Sanosuke, don't think that way," he whispered, rocking Sanosuke back and forth as if he were still a small child. "I'm the one who should feel guilty and believe me, I do. I should have been there..."
Sanosuke relaxed in Souzou's hold.
"And now the rest of the Sekihoutai is gone too," he said quietly, obviously trying not to burst into tears right then. "I think I'm the only one who made it... I can't believe I've lost everything... everybody... My dad and my best friend... I don't think Katsu got away..."
"You haven't lost everything," whispered the former captain of the Sekihoutai. "You still have me. I would be proud to have you as part of my family. You're staying with us, like your father wanted."
Those sad brown eyes looked up at him again.
"You... You mean it?" he asked, almost in disbelief.
Before Souzou could say anything, Midori answered.
"Absolutely," she said firmly.
Sanosuke didn't know what to say. He had lost one family and gained another all in one day, went through Hell and came back alive. He just sort of stared at her, his mouth open and his eyes wide. Midori leaned over and kissed his cheek.
"You're perfectly welcome here," she said softly. "And right now, you need to get some sleep. You need the rest more than you think."
Souzou laid Sanosuke back on his futon and pulled up the blanket for him. Smiling through his grief, he looked down at his best friend's son and ruffled his hair. Midori kissed his forehead lightly.
"Good night Sanosuke," she whispered, stroking his cheek gently.
"G-goodnight..." stuttered Sanosuke.
"'Night Sano," said Souzou quietly, ruffling his hair again.
"Good night Capt- I mean... ... Uh, what am I supposed to call you now?" he asked uncertainly.
Souzou's eyes widened and for a second he was speechless. A few attempts just came out as incoherent sputtering. When he was finally able to form intelligent speech, his face turned red.
"Well, I have no idea," he said nervously. "I mean... I'm not your captain anymore and... and I wasn't sure if you would be comfortable with something that would... remind you of what happened... I figured you would want to... forget."
"Actually I don't, sir" Sanosuke said softly. "I'm proud that Dad and I were part of the Sekihoutai. I never want to forget."
Souzou's face became grim. He didn't know exactly what happened, but it couldn't be good. He hoped Sanosuke had been wrong about there being no other survivors.
"Sanosuke, listen to me," he said firmly. "With what's coming, having been part of the Sekihoutai isn't going to be something you need to tell people."
Sanosuke looked up at him with questions in his eyes.
"But why---" he started off, but his former captain shook his head to cut him off.
"We can talk this whole thing out in the morning," he said tiredly. "But right now you need to sleep. Exhausting yourself isn't going to help anything."
Midori rolled her eyes and tugged on his bandanna.
"Take your own advice, would you?" she chided with gentle teasing obvious in her voice.
She kissed Sanosuke's cheek one more time then got up and headed for her bedroom.
"I should do what she says," said Souzou, sounding more tired than ever. "'Night Sano."
Souzou pushed himself to his feet and headed for the door.
"You know," said Sanosuke, his voice soft. "Even though the Sekihoutai is gone, you'll always be Captain Sagara to me."
Souzou froze, his heart tightening painfully. He turned and smiled at the young boy who thought he was a hero no matter what.
"Thank you, Sanosuke," he said softly. "That means a lot to me."
The pain disappeared from the boy's soft brown eyes for the first time since he had arrived and he smiled brightly. Souzou smiled back then turned and headed down the hall. His heart and mind were burning. As he slid the shoji aside, he saw Midori, seemingly sound asleep. All of a sudden he felt the pain of his friend's death ten times harder than what it had been.
He needed to let his grief out but couldn't. It felt like there was a cold lead weight in his heart. He was so lost in his pain that he didn't notice when Midori opened her eyes and got up. He actually gasped a little in surprise as she wrapped her arms around him. But he relaxed as she guided him to rest his head on her shoulder.
"It's alright to grieve, Souzou," she whispered, slipping his bandanna off and running her hands through his hair. "Reichi wouldn't want you to hurt yourself by not allowing yourself to express your grief."
Gently, Midori pulled back from her husband so that he would look her in the eyes. Dark brown eyes stared into deep violet still full of unshed tears. Souzou looked as if his heart were about to break. Midori realized that it was time for a little tough love.
"Don't you realize that it hurts me to watch you hurt yourself like this?" she asked, changing her tone to pleading. "You're breaking my heart, darling."
The pain in Souzou's expression really was ripping her heart to shreds. Slowly, she led her husband to their futon, helping him lie down, then slipped under the blankets beside him. No sooner had she settled by his side than he took her in his arms, pulled her in close and buried his face in her shoulder. She wrapped her arms tightly around him as she felt his body shudder and heard him whisper his best friend's name. He tightened his grip as well, now sobbing in earnest.
For the first time, Souzou Sagara cried himself to sleep in his wife's arms.
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"He turned up last night," said Souzou quietly. "Wasn't inside for more than ten minutes before he fainted."
Dr. Shimada nodded and settled beside the boy's futon. Aside from being fairly pale and having a slightly rapid pulse, it looked like the boy had mostly surface scratches. There were a few wounds that needed stitches and a burn mark on his arm, but he was definitely going to live.
"Is he going to be alright?" asked Midori, almost afraid to hear the answer.
"He does need stitches in a few of the more serious cuts and there's a burn on his arm that worries me," said the doctor. "But he'll be fine once everything starts healing up."
Souzou visibly relaxed, a relieved smile coming over his face.
"Thank God," he said softly, running one hand through his hair. "I never would have stopped blaming myself if... if he didn't make it..."
Midori excused herself to find another towel and boil some water, greatly relieved that the boy was going to be alright. Within minutes, she was back with both in hand. Souzou sat beside Sanosuke's futon, going over some things in his head.
'Before he fainted, he said the Sekihoutai was gone,' he thought, not misunderstanding the meaning of the words, just wondering how long it would be until it affected his family. 'All that blood on his clothes... a lot of it isn't his, I don't think... That means...'
He swallowed hard, unable to finish the thought.
Sanosuke whimpered softly as Dr. Shimada began his work, first cleaning the wounds with alcohol. Souzou winced as well, remembering how badly that had hurt. A few times, when the poor boy actually cried out in pain and tried to move, he held him still. Midori saw the way her husband looked at the young boy, how gentle his actions were towards him.
'That's almost the same way he looks at Toshio,' she thought. 'The boy is part of the Sekihoutai, but the two of them seem to have some special bond... Almost like father and son, but not quite... It's like Souzou doesn't really know what to do.'
She joined her husband at Sanosuke's side, taking a smaller towel and wiping the dirt and dried blood from his thin face. He obviously had no family to return to, so he had come here. The look of sheer terror in his eyes before he fainted refused to leave her mind.
Souzou and Midori were both so deep in thought that they almost didn't hear Dr. Shimada saying "He'll need to stay in bed for a while. I'd say two days at most, just to give everything a chance to close up." The two of them looked greatly relieved, but Souzou had a different look in his eyes. Dr. Shimada didn't have to look twice to notice the fatherly love in his gaze and in his actions. He smiled to himself, knowing that the boy was in good hands.
"What about the burn?" asked Souzou, his voice low and quiet.
Dr. Shimada looked at the burn on the boy's arm with a critical eye. The skin wasn't blistered, just very smooth and discolored. It looked as if the boy had somehow recieved a bad puncture wound and tried to cauterize it himself. It was a serious burn and would probably leave a pretty noticeable scar, but it wouldn't cause any permanent harm. Anyway, this one looked like it was at least a week old. If anything was going to happen, it would have happened by now.
"It looks like an old wound," said the doctor quietly. "So there really isn't much I can do. I have to say, he'll probably have that scar for the rest of his life. It was definitely a puncture wound."
Souzou's face turned white as he realized why there was a burn mark if it had initially been a puncture. Tenderly, his fingertips barely touching the boy's skin, he traced the edges of the burn. He bit his lip and Midori could have sworn she saw tears in his eyes.
"It's my fault..." he whispered so softly he thought no one could hear him. "It's my fault. I should have been there..."
Midori was listening to the rest of the doctor's instructions as they headed for the front door. When she came back, her heart almost tore in two at the sight in front of her. Souzou had the boy cradled in his arms, his shoulders shaking. He was crying softly and whispering 'It's my fault' over and over, both sounds almost inaudible.
"How long have you known him?" she asked quietly as she settled beside her husband and put a hand on his shoulder.
"All his life..." replied Souzou, his voice shaking. "He was my best friend's son. His mother died having him and... and apparently Reichi was killed in the battle he was trying to tell me about... That has to be the reason he turned up here in the middle of the night looking like he'd been through some kind of war... He had been... Sanosuke would never have left his father as long as he was alive..."
"Oh, darling," she whispered, wrapping one arm around her husband's shoulders and stroking Sanosuke's hair with her other hand. "I know how close you and Reichi were..."
"I told you that when Sanosuke was born, his mother died," he said quietly. "Well a few years later there was a huge battle. As we were going in, Reichi asked me to take care of Sanosuke if anything happened to him... I gave him my word that day and I intend to keep it."
Midori smiled and kissed a tear away from Souzou's cheek.
"Of course," she said softly, resting her head on his shoulder. "I know you must keep your promise... He'll stay with us from now on."
Souzou looked at his wife with tears still in his eyes.
"Midori," he breathed. "Do you mean it?"
She didn't say anything, just lifted her head off his shoulder and kissed him gently.
"Never been more serious in my life," she said quietly. "I can tell how much he means to you."
Sanosuke whimpered softly and said "Dad?" softly as if he were still hoping his father would answer. Souzou and Midori looked down at him to see tears streaming out of his eyes.
"He must be dreaming about what happened to Reichi," Souzou whispered, his voice choking. "I just hope he didn't see it... But from the look of it, I think he did..."
When Midori touched Sanosuke's cheek, brushing his tears away, his eyes flew open and he tried to sit up. Souzou still held him down to make sure he didn't pull his stitches. He looked up at them, tears making his brown eyes seem almost black in the dim light.
"I miss my dad," he said, his voice bitter. "I just feel like I should have stopped it somehow... Can't help feeling like it's my fault."
Souzou swallowed hard and tentatively pulled the boy close to his chest, trying hard not to break down. Right now, Sanosuke needed him to stay strong. There was time to grieve for his friend later.
"Sanosuke, don't think that way," he whispered, rocking Sanosuke back and forth as if he were still a small child. "I'm the one who should feel guilty and believe me, I do. I should have been there..."
Sanosuke relaxed in Souzou's hold.
"And now the rest of the Sekihoutai is gone too," he said quietly, obviously trying not to burst into tears right then. "I think I'm the only one who made it... I can't believe I've lost everything... everybody... My dad and my best friend... I don't think Katsu got away..."
"You haven't lost everything," whispered the former captain of the Sekihoutai. "You still have me. I would be proud to have you as part of my family. You're staying with us, like your father wanted."
Those sad brown eyes looked up at him again.
"You... You mean it?" he asked, almost in disbelief.
Before Souzou could say anything, Midori answered.
"Absolutely," she said firmly.
Sanosuke didn't know what to say. He had lost one family and gained another all in one day, went through Hell and came back alive. He just sort of stared at her, his mouth open and his eyes wide. Midori leaned over and kissed his cheek.
"You're perfectly welcome here," she said softly. "And right now, you need to get some sleep. You need the rest more than you think."
Souzou laid Sanosuke back on his futon and pulled up the blanket for him. Smiling through his grief, he looked down at his best friend's son and ruffled his hair. Midori kissed his forehead lightly.
"Good night Sanosuke," she whispered, stroking his cheek gently.
"G-goodnight..." stuttered Sanosuke.
"'Night Sano," said Souzou quietly, ruffling his hair again.
"Good night Capt- I mean... ... Uh, what am I supposed to call you now?" he asked uncertainly.
Souzou's eyes widened and for a second he was speechless. A few attempts just came out as incoherent sputtering. When he was finally able to form intelligent speech, his face turned red.
"Well, I have no idea," he said nervously. "I mean... I'm not your captain anymore and... and I wasn't sure if you would be comfortable with something that would... remind you of what happened... I figured you would want to... forget."
"Actually I don't, sir" Sanosuke said softly. "I'm proud that Dad and I were part of the Sekihoutai. I never want to forget."
Souzou's face became grim. He didn't know exactly what happened, but it couldn't be good. He hoped Sanosuke had been wrong about there being no other survivors.
"Sanosuke, listen to me," he said firmly. "With what's coming, having been part of the Sekihoutai isn't going to be something you need to tell people."
Sanosuke looked up at him with questions in his eyes.
"But why---" he started off, but his former captain shook his head to cut him off.
"We can talk this whole thing out in the morning," he said tiredly. "But right now you need to sleep. Exhausting yourself isn't going to help anything."
Midori rolled her eyes and tugged on his bandanna.
"Take your own advice, would you?" she chided with gentle teasing obvious in her voice.
She kissed Sanosuke's cheek one more time then got up and headed for her bedroom.
"I should do what she says," said Souzou, sounding more tired than ever. "'Night Sano."
Souzou pushed himself to his feet and headed for the door.
"You know," said Sanosuke, his voice soft. "Even though the Sekihoutai is gone, you'll always be Captain Sagara to me."
Souzou froze, his heart tightening painfully. He turned and smiled at the young boy who thought he was a hero no matter what.
"Thank you, Sanosuke," he said softly. "That means a lot to me."
The pain disappeared from the boy's soft brown eyes for the first time since he had arrived and he smiled brightly. Souzou smiled back then turned and headed down the hall. His heart and mind were burning. As he slid the shoji aside, he saw Midori, seemingly sound asleep. All of a sudden he felt the pain of his friend's death ten times harder than what it had been.
He needed to let his grief out but couldn't. It felt like there was a cold lead weight in his heart. He was so lost in his pain that he didn't notice when Midori opened her eyes and got up. He actually gasped a little in surprise as she wrapped her arms around him. But he relaxed as she guided him to rest his head on her shoulder.
"It's alright to grieve, Souzou," she whispered, slipping his bandanna off and running her hands through his hair. "Reichi wouldn't want you to hurt yourself by not allowing yourself to express your grief."
Gently, Midori pulled back from her husband so that he would look her in the eyes. Dark brown eyes stared into deep violet still full of unshed tears. Souzou looked as if his heart were about to break. Midori realized that it was time for a little tough love.
"Don't you realize that it hurts me to watch you hurt yourself like this?" she asked, changing her tone to pleading. "You're breaking my heart, darling."
The pain in Souzou's expression really was ripping her heart to shreds. Slowly, she led her husband to their futon, helping him lie down, then slipped under the blankets beside him. No sooner had she settled by his side than he took her in his arms, pulled her in close and buried his face in her shoulder. She wrapped her arms tightly around him as she felt his body shudder and heard him whisper his best friend's name. He tightened his grip as well, now sobbing in earnest.
For the first time, Souzou Sagara cried himself to sleep in his wife's arms.
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