Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Stars Fell On ❯ Chapter 1

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Untitled (Stars Fell On)

This story is going to be very weird, and may make no sense… Gomen nasai… Second person again… Whoo.

"Relax and modern life,

Takes the place of feeling bad

So you tried it...

Recalling memories,

Of a charm school pantomime turned so bad.

This feels like a real-life fantasy,

It feels like you...

This feels like a true phantasmacy,

Feels like you."

-Orgy

"And what you fear in the nighttime

In the morning comes..."

-Counting Crows

. . .

*I caught the sparkle from the runway

Such a fool for the Amazon*

You stare at the sky, feeling lost.

The sun is setting, distant on a horizon choked by trees.

You stink of blood.

Slowly, you raise one hand before your face.

Clean, pale skin.

You can feel his blood, slick and wet.

It consumes your skin like fire.

No!

You let your hand drop, numb with shock.

There is no blood.

No more blood!

There is no blood.

Your skin is pale and flawless.

There is no blood.

Your hands are clean.

There is no blood.

No fire.

No blood.

"Are you really going to stay here another night?" He asks you.

You jump.

He has not spoken in a long time.

You had almost forgotten that he was even there.

Almost.

Strong fingers graze your shoulders.

Almost...

"Go away." You demand, miserable.

"No blood because you washed it all away in the stream." He reminds.

*And nothing's wrong, but it's just not right

The three of us in the naked night*

You gasp, recalling the cold of the water. You remember the numbness that came from holding your hands under the water for such a long time.

It had burned.

"Why can't I remember?!" You cry.

He laughs. "You know. You just won't accept it."

"... It was... You!" You wail. "You did it!!"

"No, darling. It was all of you."

You glance behind you, at the horrible sight.

"You made another mess, sweetheart. Is it time to run again?"

"... I can't run..." You whisper, running your hands weakly through your bangs. "... I've built a life here... A--- I... I can't leave. I can't---"

"You've built a lie here." He says gently. "That wasn't you. It was never you. This is you. Here. Now."

"No!! ... ...It wasn't me... This is you. Always you. ...Every time I'm happy, you take my life away!"

"No, sweetheart. I give you life. You choose to destroy it."

You look back over your shoulder at him. "What happened last night?"

*No chance for psychotic solutions

Lost in this three way dimension*

"What do you remember?" He whispers, settling down on the bank. His strong arms pull you down, so that you are resting against him, back to chest.

He holds you.

"I..." Your voice falters.

The stars are coming out, as the last rays of fire bleed into the dust.

Blood...

His blood...

You own blood...

He says your name sharply.

Shocked, you snap out of your reverie.

"I remember... We were... here. Lost. He was lost. I... I found him. He was... Hiding. Waiting... Like he wasn't really lost. ...There was light, then. A fire... I liked the way he looked in the firelight. Strong. He almost seemed to... to shine. ...I didn't like the way that he was looking at me in the firelight..."

You feel tears in your eyes. "He was beautiful. ... He--- We..." Recognition dims the memory. "And you! You were there! It--- It was you! You did it! You---" Your voice trembles.

"You killed him!!"

*Imagine you as me and I'll tell you

Just what I'm thinking*

"You." He says quietly.

His breath stirs the thin hairs at the base of your throat.

You shiver involuntarily.

"You killed him, angel. His blood on your hands. Washed free in the stream. His eyes on you, and all his blood..."

He is pulling you backwards, and down, laying your head in his lap. Gently, he combs your loose hair with his thin, strong fingers.

"And what of you, darling? Where is your blood?"

Burying your face against his thigh, you let the tears come.

*That it feels like you

Feels like I, feels like we do

And it feels like

Feels like I, feels like we do*

You breathe the scent of him, hating him.

It reminds you too much that you do still love him.

He reeks of your own anger.

Your fear, and your despair.

He is the very archive of your failure.

"I hate you..." You sob desperately, feeling your anger flow out of you like so much salt, leaving only ache behind.

"I know, darling." He whispers, stroking your hair.

You are suddenly confused.

Why is he here?

Why risk everything he's finally won, in order to comfort you?

"You do love me..."

"Yes. Always."

"...What do I do now?"

*And everyone's daze is on

"Look what you've done!"

"You give yourself away for nothing!"

"Look what you've done!"*

"You can't go back to them. You know that."

"They'll hate me."

"Exactly. They'll kill you for what you've done."

"But it was you!" You cry, jerking upright. "You killed him! It was you!! I didn't... I'm... I'm..."

"Innocent? Don't be stupid, angel. They'll never believe you. You know it."

He smiles.

It is a smile to show teeth.

"You're mine, darling. Don't you remember?"

Remember... ... ...

Recollection breaks over you like a wave.

"... ... I... I remember..."

*The gifts of pleasure you received

Everything you wanted from me*

//His kiss is like honey.

Sweet, slow, and consuming...

You sigh, and shift in his arms, wondering why you had not considered this sooner...

You had always thought that the love you felt for him was unrequited.... A secret burden that you must keep locked within your heart...

...But tonight...

He has captured you with the three words you thought to never hear...

And now a fire consumes you both, in waves...

And suddenly, you realize his hands are roving, slipping beneath your clothes.

You try to pull away, but he forces you down, onto your back.

His hands are not gentle.

His kiss is no longer kind.//

*Chemical abduction restricted our vision

We were on autodrive*

//He is holding you now --- Holding you down, holding you still.

You are choking, you cannot breathe.

The air in your lungs seems dead, and empty.

You can feel his fingernails digging into your skin as you struggle in his grip.

The night around you seems so surreal...

Time has slowed, and everything moves as if it is fading... Your vision is fading.

And suddenly, there is pain.

The air in your lungs crescendos into a brutal scream, splitting the night as crudely as he does your body.

Your vision fades completely, and there is only him.

His breath on your throat, his hands on your wrists, and your face. His shoulders pinning your legs. His thighs, spreading you open, and his manhood, ripping you apart.

Soon, this too, fades.

And there is nothing.

Nothing but the pain.//

*Don't blame the platforms for your fall

We were chasing obsession*

"No." You whisper, as the memory fades.

"That can't be true. ... No... No... No, no, no..."

Shudders wrack your body as you curl into a fetal ball.

"Now you know why." He whispers.

He is pulling you to him again, and you struggle.

"No!! Leave me alone!!!"

"Quiet, darling. I won't hurt you if you don't make me. I would never use you and leave you like he did."

"He didn't leave me! You killed him!!"

"You killed him." He corrects.

*Imagine you as me and I'll tell you

Just what was on my mind that night*

"I couldn't bear to let him hurt you. I couldn't abide the pain you were allowing him to deal you. It was unthinkable. So I helped you break free. I gave you my strength, in order to save you."

You shake your head desperately, hoping he will stop this, and that he will let you go, and that he will lie to you...

But you know him.

And you know he never lies.

"Yet, it was you who dealt that blow. You spilt his blood as he had so cruelly spilt yours. And you were happy, love. ...Killing that bastard made you happy. It was beautiful. I was proud."

"... ... ... I killed him."

"Yes."

*That is feels like you

Feels like I, feels like we do

And it feels like

Feels like I, feels like we do*

"Come on, darling. Let's go.'

You nod, and numbly stumble to your feet.

Before you lies the body, blade still embedded in its throat.

You shudder.

Its eyes are on you as you move.

"...I loved him." You whisper.

"He hurt you."

You nod.

Your body aches all over, but you feel lighter.

Disconnected.

Empty.

"...broken..."

"Everything dies, and everyone breaks, angel. Let's go now, before they find us."

*And everyone's daze is on

"Look what you've done!"

"You gave yourself away for nothing!"

"When will you escape Dramatica?"*

"...When does it stop?" You whisper.

"Never, darling. Never, and... always. Never and Always...."

*When will you escape Dramatica?*

OWARI

finished 07/17/02 9:23 p.m.

final 09/25/02 6:10 p.m.

whew.

...That was... odd.

This story is based on a dream I had. …Yes, the scenario described within is that of a rape. The he is actually the split personality of the victim. I was attempting to express my own feelings on the subject of rape. They are very strong, as those who know me well are aware.

Kenshin is talking to Battousai after killing Sanosuke.

The song used is Orgy's "Dramatica", but it was actually Cold Chamber's "My Mercy" that I had stuck in my head while I was writing this. Maybe that can help to explain it.

...I should be locked up and kept away from pencils.

*sigh*

-Manda

Sanibel Island, Florida, 07/17/02, 9:30 p.m.

"...You killed him. I thought you liked him. He liked you."

"He didn't like me! He never liked me!!"

-Magenta, Riff-Raff, The Rocky Horror Picture Show