Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ The Curse of the Moon in a Cold Dream ❯ One-Shot

The Curse ofthe Moon in a Cold Dream

 

 

The rain was pouring down in multitudes as people gathered around a bed of flowers; throwing their own into the mass pile. All their tears were covered by the down pour of the rain that only seemed to intense the mood of depression.

 

A hand above the water

 

Nothing could be heard but the sobs of the girl in the front.

 

She clung onto the two roses that she held in her hands. They seemed to be the only thing that kept her sanity in place at the moment and no one could blame her.

 

Yet no one seemed to be able to reach out too her and be able to soften the tears she had let go of. No one seemed to be able to dull her pain, let alone hers.

 

An angel reaching for the sky

 

“Poor girl,” a woman whispered from the other side of the bed of roses as she watched her collapse to the ground in tears.

 

The girl had no will power to the sadness she held as she threw the roses onto the grave of her beloved fiancée. She couldn't handle the pain she felt as she sobbed even harder; not able to let go of the precious moments they spent together. Nothing could stop those memories flooding into the girl as she whispered his name into the air, “Kenshin.”

 

Is it raining in Heaven?

Do you want us to cry?

 

The grave in front of her was covered by flowers of all kinds as many people came to pay their respects.

 

Everybody seemed to always glance at her once in guilt before continuing on their way through the rain. They felt her pain but knew they could never really understand what it felt like to lose the most important person in their life.

 

She sat their, though, her dress covered in mud as she cried in front of the grave. She knew it was her fault that he died. She knew that if he hadn't needed to protect her he would still be alive today.

 

“No!” she yelled, tears still running down her eyes. “Why am I so weak? Why did he have to die on my behalf, why?” she whispered as sobs continued to control her.

 

And everywhere the broken heart is

On every lonely avenue

 

She remembered his smile as his bloody kimono kept dripping. She remembered how he held her and kissed her for the last time. His lips were dry and his breathe was musky and short.

 

She could remember his last words and how they had scared her to no end when he said them. They rang out in her mind has she looked upon the grave. `If I die today …. Remember that I will always love you.'

 

She sobbed even harder as all this came to mind. She looked once more at the grave before covering her face with her muddy hands and rocked herself back and forth.

 

To anyone just passing by at this moment, they would have thought she was insane but that never crossed her mind. The only thing that seemed to cross her mind was that this was all a dream and that she could dig threw this grave and he would be there. Sitting up and thanking her for getting him out of there.

 

No one could reach them

No one but you

 

She could see his face looking up at hers with that goofy smile. She could see herself hitting him over the head and hear him say `Oro!' Those days though were over. She knew she was only kidding herself as she looked upon the grave.

 

She tried to get herself up. She knew she would have too at some point and right now she couldn't bring herself to look at the grave any longer. She wanted to stay in denial for a bit longer.

 

“Please Kenshin….” She whispered under her breath. “Let me dream for a little longer; I don't want to let go of you…… Not yet.”

 

She stood up shakily. Her legs seemed to not want to let her up as they shook underneath her.

 

She then started walking away from the nightmare she was living. Her legs didn't seem to care about her pain as they gave out only after two steps away from that nightmare. She swore silently under her breath looking once more at the grave.

 

One by one

Only the good die young

 

She couldn't take it anymore. She crawled over to the grave and carefully removed all the flowers. With her hands already muddy she didn't care anymore as she began to dig.

 

She couldn't just sit there and wonder if they had buried him alive. She had to take every precaution even though she knew that he was dead. She knew that there was nothing that could be done. Yet her imagination ran wild as she tried to claw her way through the mud.

 

She could feel her fingers tiring from the clawing but she just continued. She couldn't help it. She wanted all of this just to be some horrible nightmare and that in five minutes she would wake up. She would wake up, kiss Kenshin and then hold him to no tomorrow.

 

She knew though, as well as anyone, she would not wake up. That didn't stop her from wishing it as she yelled. “DAMNIT! PLEASE GOD! LET THIS ALL JUST BE A DREAM!”

 

Their only flying to close to the sun

And life goes on

Without you….

 

She could feel her insanity slipping away with ever piece of mud that went flying behind her. She could feel the grip that she had on her mind slipping away fast.

 

She was losing herself in the agony that she felt.

 

“Why…?” she whispered to herself.

 

“Kaoru?” a voice came from behind her as the man grabbed her wrists and brought her to face him. “Kenshin wouldn't want you like this.” The man whispered pulling her into a tight hug.

 

“Sanosuke?” Kaoru whispered as she clung to him like she was dying in his arms. She could feel the tears coming back as she clung to him, feeling the warmth that felt like Kenshin's.

 

“Yeah…” he whispered in her ear, hugging her a bit more too him as he dropped his forehead on her shoulders.

 

Another tricky situation

I get the drownin' in the blues

 

“Kenshin loves you, no matter where he is” Sanosuke whispered.

 

“Why can't he be here then?!” Kaoru raised her voice, pushing him away and looking at him angrily. She could now feel rage coming on and how much she seemed to hate him for leaving her behind.

 

When she started thinking about her feelings towards him; she couldn't seem to place what she was feeling at all. All she knew that it was hate, anger, love and depression all in one. She couldn't even seem to put it in words and tell Sanosuke what she was feeling.

 

All she knew was that he couldn't understand. He couldn't understand her pain. No could at all.

 

“Kaoru… You know he died to protect you.” Sanosuke whispered trying to bring her back too him to calm her down. “He died doing something he knew he would never regret. Don't throw everything away in hatred.” He said trying to be understanding.

 

He knew perfectly well this wasn't his way, or style, for handling things but the situation at hand called for it. There was no other way to handle it.

 

And I find myself thinking

Well…

What would you do?

 

Sanosuke watched as Kaoru got up. He had no idea what to do and he looked upon Kenshin's grave. He wished that Kenshin was still here. Not as much as Kaoru but he wished it for her sake.

 

She was emotional and this only broke her.

 

“Why did he die doing that though?” Kaoru said looking down at Sanosuke. “I would have rather died then him. I would have rather been sacrificed to keep him alive.”

 

“You know Kenshin would never have allowed that.”

 

Karou looked at him and said nothing as she walked away. She seemed to be shaky and not able to keep moving straight foreword. She seemed to sway side to side as she walked away from her fiancées grave.

 

Sanosuke watched and then looked at the grave and at the mud that was dug. He quietly took the flowers that had been placed to the side and put them back. He then got up and followed Kaoru. “Kenshin, why did you have to leave now of all times?”

 

Yes, it was such an operation

Forever paying every due

 

Kaoru kept walking, though, every step she took she seemed to weigh more and more upon her feet. It was like her body couldn't walk but she forced it too anyways.

 

Tears were still running down her cheeks. Her eyes left evidence of it as they were red and sunken into her face. Her nose was also red and her lips were open and heavily panting for breath as each sob came harder with every step foreword.

 

She looked up to the sky above her but she soon quickly looked down as rain drops kept entering her eyes and stung them.

 

She could hear Sanosuke following her but she didn't look back or seem to care. She knew she was being selfish but she didn't care about that either. It never really crossed her mind as a big thing.

 

All she knew was that this pain in her gut would never leave. All she knew was that she would forever be like this and she had to end it now. She just had too.

 

She knew Sanosuke wouldn't understand why she was going to do this. She didn't even think he had any idea of what she was about too do. All she thought was that she would have to get away from him in order for her to escape this pain.

 

It was the only way.

 

Hell, you made a sensation

You found a way through

 

Sanosuke watched her closely. He knew something was going through her mind but he had no idea what. He had no idea at this point what she would thinking and from her reactions and high emotions. He had to say this was worse then when she first learned that Kenshin was dead. He could remember the horrible memory.

 

He was running through the woods with her.

 

He had her wrist and she was screaming for him to turn around and go back.

 

His priority was to get her away from the battle.

 

He thought Kenshin would be able to take care of himself.

 

He remembered that he kept running no matter what and no matter how much kicking and screaming he got from Kaoru he was going to get her out of there. She didn't know it but Kenshin & Sanosuke did.

 

Kaoru was pregnant.

 

Kenshin didn't want to say anything because he wanted to find out from her. He wanted to know that she would tell him.

 

Then a yell was heard in the distance. A yell that sounded painful. A yell that told Sanosuke and Kaoru that something was wrong.

 

One by one

Only the good die young

 

Kaoru was walking slower and slower. Her house seemed farther then she had imagined. It seemed it was easier getting here then leaving. She couldn't place as too why though. It just seemed that way too her.

 

Her memories seemed to continual go through her mind. From the first time they met when she punched him into a stand and had made false accusations on him. Till the time when he had yelled that horrible scream that told her that something had gone awfully wrong.

 

She remembered how she had finally been able to kick away Sanosuke and run to Kenshin. She had remembered his last final words. She had remembered the kiss she gave him telling him to hold on just a bit longer.

 

She could remember his voice and the tears that welled in his eyes. She couldn't really tell if the tears were ones of pain because of the gaping hole in his chest or of a different kind of pain.

 

Though, she had almost forgotten about the words he had said to Sanosuke. At the time she thought that he meant the team when he had said, “Sanosuke, take care of my family would you?” He had done that innocent laugh that had side tracked Kaoru for mere seconds when at the same time he was coughing up the horrid red blood.

 

Their only flying too close to the sun

And we'll remember

Forever…

 

Sanosuke had taken Kenshin's words to heart. He wouldn't let anything happen to Kaoru. Not if he had anything to do about it. Which was why he was tagging a long behind her quietly.

 

He couldn't do anything else.

 

He remembered Kenshin's blood smearing all along Kaoru. He knew it was nothing but love Kenshin was feeling at the time.

 

He never thought that Kenshin would die like that.

 

No one did.

 

It was a shock to everybody.

 

Sanosuke had been the one to carry his body back, though it had been Kaoru who cleaned him up. She had been strong at the time about what was going on. She had to be for Yahiko. She seemed to have to be for everybody.

 

Now, as he watched her, she was a wreck. She couldn't walk properly. All the emotions had caught up with her.

 

She had lost herself in the emotion.

 

And now the crying must be over

I'll guess we'll never understand

The sense of your leaving

 

Kaoru continued to walk until someone from the village had come to offer her a ride back to her house. She kindly accepted. She knew this way that Sanosuke couldn't follow her. She knew that she could finally be alone to escape.

 

She got in and sat herself beside the man as he turned around the carriage and let the horse carry them back to the village.

 

“I'm sorry for your loss.” The man said to her.

 

She nodded her thanks but could say nothing. She didn't know if the man was expecting her to say anything but it didn't seem that way. He just continue to look straight ahead and never at her.

 

So she sat in silence.

 

Nothing was going to disturb her now, though, in the distance, she could hear Sanosuke swearing. She didn't know if he knew what she was planning but it didn't matter now. He couldn't catch up with her, even if he ran.

 

“Could you. . . Could we go faster? Please?” she asked looking at the man as he nodded and whipped the horse. The horse then went in a fast trot and she knew that he would never catch up now.

 

Nothing was going to stop her; no one was going to stop her now.

 

Was it the way it was planned?

And so we grace another table

 

Sanosuke swore under his breath as he saw her leave with some stranger in a carriage. He didn't know who this man was but it didn't matter at the moment. He needed to get her out of there.

 

He began to run.

 

Then he noticed the carriage go faster and he knew there was no chance in catching up.

 

He knew that he was either going to drop her home or something bad was going to happen. So he did his best in trying to at least keep up with it; with no success.

 

And we raise our glasses one more time

There's a face at the window

And I'm never, never saying good-bye

 

Kaoru returned home. To no surprise no one was there except her.

 

She immediately went through her kitchen draws pulling them out one by one, looking for a sharp kitchen knife that she could use to end it all.

 

She grabbed one that she thought would do the trick and ran up the stairs. She had no idea when Sanosuke was coming home but she needed this done before he got there. Before he tried to stop her.

 

She went into the room where she and Kenshin had once slept together. Many nights were spent here together. Together…

 

She shook her head.

 

“Those nights are over,” she whispered to herself. “If you ever want to see him again…” she looked down at the knife in her hand and gripped the blade tightly. She felt pain, but the pain felt good and the blood that dripped from her hand felt like she was finally releasing, escaping.

 

She made it towards the window and she climbed out cautiously and climbed onto the roof.

 

She knew that if the kitchen knife didn't work out well; the fall off the roof might do the trick.

 

She held the kitchen knife in her hand and looked around, making sure Sanosuke wasn't anywhere around her.

 

She then closed her eyes. She could see Kenshin welcoming her with open arms. She could see his pathetic smile and could hear his laugh that brought nothing but a smile to her face.

 

“KAORU!”

 

One by one

Only the good die young

Their only flying too close to the sun

 

Kaoru opened her eyes, the image of Kenshin faded from her imagination. Her hope was gone. S

 

She could see Sanosuke in the distance. She could hear how desperate he was and she looked at him.

 

“Don't stop me!” She yelled as tears began to spill from her eyes again.

 

“Kaoru don't do this!”

 

“Why not?! I have nothing to live for anymore. Nothing is going to make this pain go away NOTHING!”

 

“Time will. . . time will make the pain go away but you have to be patient.”

 

“I can't! It's too much Sanosuke…” she sobbed harder, “it's too much.”

 

“You can live through it! Kenshin wouldn't want you to die-“

 

“How do you know what Kenshin wants?! How do you know?! TELL ME!”

 

“He told me to keep you alive! No matter what the cost!”

 

“Who cares?!”

 

“I do and I thought you would too but I guess not!”

 

“You're right I don't!”

 

She took the Knife too her heart and stabbed herself in one fierce movement. She could feel the blood draining from herself and she could feel her life slip away. Her body became limp and she fell from the roof hitting the cold hard ground.

 

Crying for nothing

Crying for no one

No one

But you

 

Blood pooled over her and everything was over.

 

It was truly the curse of the moon in a cold dream.