Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ The Dead Never Stay Dead ❯ Coping with the loss ( Chapter 7 )

Part Six- Coping With the loss

Disclaimer: I don't feel like posting one today. Just look at my previous ones or better yet look at all the other stories that are associated with RK. I bet they have disclaimers too unless they enjoy getting sued.

A/N

Me again, well who do expect? After all I am the one who is writing this story. Did anyone check out the link from my previous chapter, www.mostannoyingwebsite.com ? I just got so sad from that story I had to cheer myself up and my faithful readers. I don't know if it cheered you up or simply annoyed you. I was feeling the latter, hence the website's name. I bet I sounded like some cheesy advertiser, huh? I'm running low on my creativity and I really need that to come up with my chapters and my poems. Does anyone happen to know where I can refuel? Oh question, do you guys like my poems and should I drop it because it's starting to become a struggle to think of them from the top of my head? You know what, forget about that question. I just have this tendency to be very vain and have this need to hear unneeded flattery. But that doesn't mean that you guys have to stop giving me unending words of encouragement and praise. So do go on with the reviews and I really mean it; do go on and on and on and on… Now that I'm done blabbing or typing my head off whichever; I really don't know, on with the story. I just want to thank everyone for humoring me. Oh and I also really want to thank Hecate for being my first ever Beta Reader. How I got this far without your superior knowledge I really don't know. :D

"_" dialogue

'_' thoughts

~*~ scene/ pov changes/end of chap.

If I can survive through another day

Everything will be okay

The sun with turn out brighter

My smiles will come out wider

I will learn how to cope with my loss and with the pain

Because by grieving over it what do I have to gain

I know this ache I feel will never go away

But maybe just maybe it will fade a little day by day

I wonder where you are; do you ever think of me

I wonder where you are; do you ever look down to see me

I'm trying to cope without you by my side

But some days feel like I won't be able to get by

Life without you is just pure hell

And I regret that I wasn't able to tell…

To tell you how much I love you

That much is true

To say how much you mean to me

And that you filled my heart with such glee

But you'll never know

How much you set my soul aglow

You'll never realize

How much I miss your violet eyes

I miss your auburn hair

That I loved without a care

I miss your pleasant smile

That seems to stretch on for miles

But here's something new

Something we both unconsciously knew

That I would really, truly, deeply miss you

"It's fifteen yen for that ribbon, Miss." A polite salesman informed her.

Kaoru looked up from that said ribbon she was fondly fingering. "It's worth every cent." She said warmly as she handed over the correct amount of money. She looked down at the ribbon she just purchased. Nestled among the tissues that accompanied it; it gleamed silkily in the box it was lain in. It really was a pretty ribbon made of pure silk too; none of that cheap imitation material that she sometimes saw. It caught her eye right away. The color was a real oddity though; a deep crimson color interwoven with shimmering amber threads. Her throat constricted when she first saw it, but she just had to have it. She covered the box hiding the appealing ribbon from view and stashed it among all her other purchases before heading on her way.

This morning she had decided to indulge herself and relax. She didn't have to teach Yahiko today because Tsubame asked if he could help her out at the Akabeko since some of the workers were unable to come in. She let him go because after all the hell she put him through yesterday, it was the least she could do. She was just so grateful to him she decided to pay him back in full for all the pleasant things he had said and done to her since she met him. The fact that this was also her way of getting revenge the night he brought Tsubsame over didn't even cross her mind. It surprised her that he was able to get up at all today. But hey, what should she expect, Yahiko was known for being stubborn (among many other things).

Today was officially Kaoru Day. 'And I definitely deserve it after all the stuff I have to live with, as well as putting up with my new surrogate family. Who would have thought that I would be friends with a retired pickpocket, an ex-opium-making doctor, and a gambling freeloader who use to be known as Zanza, fighter for hire? But I wouldn't trade them in for the world and stranger things are known to happen.'

Struggling along with her purchases, she regretted not asking Sano or Megumi to come along to help carry her things. This last week dojos all over the district had been asking her assistance to teach their students some of her fighting techniques. 'They probably couldn't resist my womanly charms,' Kaoru thought vainly. 'I really am too gorgeous for my own good.' After getting paid from all her hard, honest work; she had decided to splurge. She bought two new kimonos with all the required accessories, a box of ribbons, a new set of bokkens and shinais, and a new hakama and gi. She also bought a comb for Yahiko because his hair was starting to resemble Sano's. If people saw them together they might assume they were brothers and knowing them that would be like an insult and would probably result in immediate bloodshed.

Kaoru really didn't feel like going home just yet. Nobody was there and she didn't feel up to cooking. 'Maybe I should take some lessons from Tae-san. Learning some of her cooking techniques could bring out my true potential. That'll show them how much of a skilled cook I really am. It's not like I really need it of course but there's always room for improvement.'

Kaoru sighed knowing it was useless trying to fool herself. Years ago when she was younger, her mother tried to teach her how to cook so that hopefully one day the men in town might want her for a wife irregardless of the fact that she was known for being somewhat of a tomboy. After accidentally setting the kitchen on fire and burning some of their best pots and pans, her mother soon gave up on her. If you looked closely in the kitchen, you can notice that some of the flame marks are still there. Kaoru smiled to herself remembering that incident and now considering it a warm and humorous memory. After realizing her failures in the kitchen, she earnestly worked at her strengths rather then her weaknesses. Unfortunately her only known strength was her fighting skills, which dismayed her mother who thought that unbecoming of a young lady. Her father was delighted, though, because he could finally pass down his legacy of fighting to a younger generation. It was her eagerness for learning his fighting skills that made him build a dojo and become a martial arts teacher.

She was their only child. Her father wanted a child to teach the fighting style of the Kamiya Kashin Ryu to, while her mother wanted a girl. In the end, they both got their wish: a girl who was raised on the teachings of the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu and who soon became the assistant master of the fighting technique that her father had created years ago.

Kaoru forced herself out of her memories finally realizing that she left the hustle and bustle of the town behind her. Glancing at her surroundings Kaoru tried to see if anything looked familiar to her. 'This part of the town must have been closed off for some reason because the only difference from this and the rest of the town is that there are no people.' Despite the fact that this place looked like it has been untouched for years, she couldn't help but feel that she had been here before. After some mindless wandering, Kaoru strode down yet another nameless road. Recognition of this street registered in her mind immediately.

Kaoru let her baggage fall noisily to the dirty ground. Bending down she dazedly pried a strip of cloth that was nestled among the debris of a nearby shattered vendor stall. "It was in this exact place that we first met." She spoke aloud. "Do you remember, Kenshin?" She questioned to the air around her still looking at the cloth in her hand in wonder. She looked up at the sky as if expecting to see his face among the clouds. "I know you can't really hear me but I just want to pretend for awhile. I haven't talked to anyone about this yet and I know that's unhealthy. So if you really are listening, humor me and lend an ear. I've been thinking of you quite a lot lately. I visit the places we use to go. I relive the memories we both shared. But it's not the same; it's not the same without you. But I'm trying, I really am. I didn't want to accept it at first; I couldn't admit to myself that you were truly gone. Because if I did then that would be it, and that this won't be some horrid dream that I would wake up from. So I denied everything. I denied that I missed you, I denied that I didn't feel okay, in fact I denied that I ever knew you." Kaoru paused struggling to not give into her newly found grief. "Sano, that tori-atama we all so dearly love, he helped me accept the truth however bluntly he worded it, he helped me nonetheless. When I came back home that night, I gathered up the courage and went into your room. I saw a picture of all of us posing in front of a camera. Do you remember it? That was when we all took the train for the first time. Sano was so scared. I had to bodily threaten him to take the picture with us because he was worried that it might steal his soul. But after seeing that picture, after seeing your face, I cried. I just broke down and cried. It came straight from my heart, my soul. I poured out all that I had been holding in. All my sorrow, anger, pain, regret, and loneliness were in it; everything. I fell asleep in your bed that night. It was the first night of sleep I had that wasn't plagued by your death." Kaoru smiled glad to have it all out. Glad to have the weight lifted from her. "I guess I just want to thank you. To thank you for being in my life no matter how short it was. I just want you to know that I'll be treasuring every moment we spent together and that I'll be waiting until we meet again so I can add to that collection. I want you to know that I love you and that I will always love you."

Kaoru cleaned up her face with the sleeve of her spring kimono. It was glistening with unbidden tears that had fallen without her knowledge. Fixing herself up a bit by redoing her hair ribbon and adjusting her kimono and obi, she went on her way with her arms once again laden down with her packages. Against the last bright red rays of the setting sun that rivaled Kenshin's crimson hair, the strands of her own hair were caressed by the evening breeze. The only thing out of place was an odd looking makeshift ribbon. It was a strip of worn cloth, which looked as if it was raggedly ripped from an old gi. Imagine seeing a faded magenta color against the silky raven black of a young woman's tresses. It may have looked odd to other people but to Kaoru it just reminded her of fond memories and of adventures long gone.

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A/N

Well it's a little short but I was trying to get this out to you before I start my classes again. It's not my best work but it'll have to do. Canada was great except for the part that I had to sit in a cramped up car for nine to eleven hours. I realized that the modern day torture chambers are family road trips. But I went to Niagara Falls and learned some French (I'm not allowed to say them due to censorship). But we go there once a year since we found out that our long-lost relatives live there and up there I feel sooo rich! Foreign currency is my friend :D! So review if you want. I really don't care (you know that I was kidding, right? I'm such an awful liar.) I was really thrilled to come back and find eight reviews waiting for me including a couple personal reviews from Hecate! I am soo loved. Keep up with the reviews and I might make my next chapter super duper long, you can find themat my story on Fanfiction.net.