Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ The Evil TV Clicker Thing from the FUTURE! ❯ The Evils of the Script ( Chapter 5 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

The Evil TV Clicker Thing from the Future Part El-Fivo! (Will the madness ever cease?)

. . .

Yami: *gives Jericho a questioning look* "El-Fivo?"

Jericho: *shrugs* What? I thought it was quite ingenious!

Yami: *sweatdrop* Well...it certainly is creative...

Jericho: *sigh* Gimme a break! It's one in the morning and my brain is all blegh, kerplap!

Hiei: Hn. You're just making up words now.

Jericho: *hangs her head in shame* Yes, that's true.

Hiei: Let's just get on with this pathetic story.

Jericho: *mock salutes* Yessir!

. . .

No more script? What were they to do now? What was going to happen to them? Would Cam be able to truimph over this unexpected event? What was she supposed to say? What were Sanosuke and Kenshin supposed to say? Where were they supposed to go? Will the narrator ever stop asking questions?

Cam dug the toe of her sneaker into the ground, trying to think of something to say. Sanosuke beat her to it, however.

"Well, I guess we're just improvising from now on." He shrugged.

"Yeah!" Cam jumped up and down excitedly. "I love improvising, it's SO FUN! Dude, now we can do ANYTHING we want to, instead of following some dumb script that has no real plot line whatsoever." She sighed, a sigh of self-satisfaction. "I am SO smart! Bet you guys wish you thought of that!"

Kenshin and Sanosuke both gave her a weary look.

"Aw come on!" Cam thumped each of them on the back. "Don't tell me you thought I was THAT stupid! Until now I've been forced to follow that damn script...I'm really not as psychotic as I've been acting ever since I got here. I'm sorry I gave you guys that impression, but as you can plainly see, it wasn't exactly my fault."

Kenshin smiled. "Of course, Miss Camille. I understand, that I do. It's such a relief that you aren't as crazy as we thought you were."

Sanosuke grinned. "Yeah! You had us pretty worried there...for our own health as well."

Cam nodded. "Yep, I bet. Well, even though the we have no more script to speak of, there is still the matter of rescuing Yahiko from that Mr. Stranger fellow. We probably ought to get on that right away."

"Yes, I agree," Kenshin replied.

"And we're going AROUND the mountain, just so we're clear," Sano reminded them.

"For sure," Cam laughed. "I'm not really that scared of heights, but I'm certainly not mountain-climbing material."

"Shall we go then?" Kenshin asked.

"After you 'sir' Ken," Cam replied with a bow. Kenshin just shook his head good-naturedly and the three of them began their trek around the mountain.

They had been walking throught the forest that surrouned the mountain for about twenty minutes before they came to a clearing. There was a sort of bubbling noise up ahead that sounded a bit like water.

"What the he--" Cam stopped herself, clamping a hand over her mouth. "I mean heck. What the heck?"

"I don't know," Sanosuke replied. "I think it's some kinda village."

Cam moved the few tree branches that were blocking her view. "Who-hoa! Check it out!"

They leaned over beside her to see what she was looking at. "It appears to be a hot spring, Miss Camille," Kenshin said.

"Huh, I don't see the big deal about that," Sanosuke remarked.

"Hey, I've never been to one of these before!" Cam said in her defense.

"Really, you haven't?"

Cam shook her head. "Nope." She grinned. "But now's as good a time as any!" With that she started running and took a flying leap, splashing headfirst into the spring. She surfaced a few seconds later, completely soaked, and caught the confused--yet amused--expressions on the faces of her comrades. She cocked an eyebrow, standing in waist-deep water. "What?"

"That was spontaneous, that it was," Kenshin commented.

Sano shook his head. "That was just stupid. Are you sure you're not really psychotic, Missy?"

Cam waded over to the edge of the spring. "Dude, Sano, come over here for a sec!"

Sanosuke shrugged and walked over to see what she wanted. "Yeah?"

With an evil smile, Cam's arms shot up and she grabbed Sano by the shirt collar, pulling him into the water with her before he had time to react. When he poked his head out of the water, grumbling and sputtering, Cam was laughing her head off at him.

"I can't believe you FELL for that!" She stumbled backwards in the water, and just barely managed to catch her balance before going underwater.

Sano just stood where he was and gave her a strange look, and then he reached out and grabbed onto one of her wrists. "Fall for this," he said, pulling her towards him and pressing his lips against hers...

. . .

Jericho: Whoa whoa whoa, hold the phone! What's going on here?

Hiei & Yami: We were wondering that as well.

Jericho: *continues to narrate, ignoring the bishies* What exactly is happening? Is this just the author's idea of a sick joke, or is it for real? Is this going to be another lame self-insertion Mary-Sue type story? Am I really going to make the readers wait until the next chapter before they find out? Exactly how many questions am I going to ask you all?

Hiei: Well tell us, woman!

Yami: Are you going to continue to hold us in suspense?

Jericho: *thinks for a minute* ...Nah. I'll cut ya'll a break on this one. Back to the story!

. . .

Kenshin was watching the entire thing, awestruck. What on earth were they doing, and why?

Actually, Cam had been wondering the same thing. She pulled away from Sano's clutches. "What was that for?"

Sanosuke looked just as confused as Cam and Kenshin. "I really don't know!"

Kenshin had an idea, though... He reached into his pocket and pulled out the script once again. "A-ha! I thought so," he said as he confirmed his suspicions by turning a few blank pages.

"What?" Cam and Sanosuke looked to him for an explanation.

"The reason Cam jumped into the spring like that and why Sano kissed her is because this scene is actually in the script!"

"Huh-wha?" Cam climbed out of the water and went to read over Kenshin's shoulder. "But I thought we were out of script!"

"Yeah, what gives?" Sanosuke wondered.

"Well it would appear that there were a couple blank pages, and then after about three pages, there's a few more pages of script that we must have overlooked when we went through the book earlier."

Cam nodded. "That makes sense," she said, and then turned to Sanosuke. "That was a nice kiss...but let's not do that again. I like you and all, but not like THAT."

"Agreed," Sano nodded and jumped out of the water.

“So...” Cam wrung her shirt out. “What were we about to do again? I can’t really remember...short term memory, you know. Heh...I’m kinda like that fish on Finding Nemo, what was her name?”

“You mean Dory?” Sano supplied.

“Yeah! Her! How did you know?”

Sano looked at her and smirked. “The internet.”

Cam nodded. “Ooohhhhh, I se–” She stopped, realizing something important. “Wait a sec, you don’t have the internet! You don’t even know what that is, because it hasn’t been invented yet!”

Sano scratched his head, confused. “You’ve got a point there, Missy. Ah, it was probably in the script.”

@_@

They both looked over at Kenshin.

“Hey, what’s your problem?” Cam asked him. “You’re getting all ‘swirly-eyed’ again...”

“Oro?” Kenshin looked at them, and then he fell on the ground.

Cam shook her head. “This is getting stupid. What’s up with him, Sanosuke?”

“I don’t know,” Sano replied.

“He’s weird,” Cam remarked. She watched as Sano began to hop on one foot, and then the other. Then he continued to repeat those actions.

“What are you doing? Do you need to use the bathroom?” Cam wondered.

Sano shook his head. “Nope.”

“And I thought I was the crazy one!” Cam stared down at Kenshin, who was now spinning in circles on the ground, as if chasing an invisible tail. “What’s WRONG with you people?!”

“We don’t know,” they sang in reply.

Cam let herself fall to the ground as well. She gazed upwards, hands clutching her forehead, and screamed, “NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORE!”

Kenshin sat up as if nothing had happened. “It never made sense to begin with, Miss Camille.”

Cam nodded, realizing that he was certainly correct about that. “That’s true...and STOP CALLIN’ ME MISS CAMILLE! MY NAME IS CAM, OKAY? CAM CAM CAM CAM!”

O.O Kenshin was leaned back as far as he could, so far that he was lying on the ground again. “I...I apologize, that I do Miss–I mean Cam.” He laughed nervously.

Sanosuke, who was no longer hopping on one foot like an idiot, began to grow impatient. “Come on you two, exactly how far does this story need to travel from its original plot line?”

Suddenly a mystical voice from above boomed, “YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW.”

A blue portal opened from above, and suddenly a short young man dressed completely in black with spiky hair of the same color and wearing a white headband around his forehead came plummeting to the ground. Before he landed, however, he managed to right himself so that he landed on his feet and by some miracle didn’t die. Kenshin and Sanosuke were at a loss as to what they should think...however, Cam knew exactly who had fallen from the heavens...

. . .

Jericho: *rolls eyes* Gee, I wonder who THAT could be?

Yami: Hm, I really don’t know. Could this person be a certain fire demon, perchance?

Jericho: *dramatic gasp* My gosh Yami, how in the Makai did you ever guess?

Yami: Oh well it was certainly very tough.

Jericho: *smirks* Yeah, and you’re just that good, right? *waves to the readers* Hi out there, I see you! ...YES I DO! You at the computer, wearing that shirt with that hair...and my, those are ugly pants! I mean does your mother dress you or something?

Yami: She’s kidding, really.

Jericho: Okay, yes I am kidding. But...REVIEW! And I’ll be back soon with more of this very exciting and very nonsensical story!