Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ the hardest thing ❯ the hardest thing ( Chapter 1 )

The Hardest Thing

By Elspeth

The raven-haired girl sat on the cushion on the far side of the small room, staring blankly at the mirror in front of her. So deep in thought, that the opening and closing of the shoji door went unnoticed, so did the older black-haired woman who began to run gentle fingers through her hair.

Dark chocolate brown eyes twinkling mischievously down at her…..

"Stop it!" she whispered harshly to herself. "Baka!"

"Nani, Misao-chan?" Okon asked, looking down at her curiously.

"N...nothing, Okon" Misao said jerking guiltily from her musing. "I was just arguing with myself." She smiled weakly at the older woman's reflection in the mirror.

Okon chuckled softly, as she pulled part of Misao's hair in loose coil securing it with a pin. "Nervous?"

"H…hai."

"That's normal." Okon commented, as her slender hands worked expertly through her hair. "This is after all a big step in any girl's life, but you will be fine. I'm so happy for you, Misao. You've loved for so long. You are exactly what he needs to bring him back to himself, to heal him. You will make him happy, Misao-chan!"

"I…I will." Misao said faintly, small slender hands clutching at the soft fabric of her kimono.

"THERE! All done!" Okon proclaimed, as she placed the last pin on her hair. "What do you think?" She asked proudly inspecting her work.

Misao stared at her reflection unseeingly. "It's beautiful. Arigato, Okon-kun."

"You are beautiful." Okon said, smiling fondly at the younger girl. "Well I'd better go down and help Omasu with the food. You'd think she was the one getting married, she's more nervous that you are!" She laughed as she strode towards the door.

Misao smiled slightly in Okon's direction as she stepped out of the room.

"Stupid girl! You idiot!" She berated herself softly, looking down at her hands. "She's right, this is what you want, isn't it? A chance to exorcise his demons, to heal him, to put a smile on his face. YOU LOVE HIM."

She defiantly grabbed the blue butterfly comb on top of the chest and secured it on her hair. She looked at her reflection critically. The girl… no, the woman who stared back at her was someone she did not recognize. From the freshly powdered face, slightly pink cheeks and full red lips to the elaborately styled hair. Part of it expertly coiled, twisted and curled with a thin blue ribbon weaving its way through it and part falling gracefully down her back. The formal white silk kimono she wore with its delicate butterfly embroidery and dark blue obi fit her slender form perfectly.

She looked as she should.

A bride.

The only thing different were the eyes.

The blue eyes that stared back at her looked as confused as she felt.

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Misao buried her face in her hands; silent sobs racked her slender frame. "Kuso!" She cursed rubbing at her cheeks with her fists.

"Stop it, Misao-baka! I can't understand why you're so bothered by this!! What's wrong with you? " She berated herself.

::Why couldn't he see? BAKA! What's wrong with me? Why can't he see that I'm not the little girl he knew anymore? There must be something I did wrong! Damn it!::

"Oi! Weasel girl Daijoubu?" A deep male voice asked behind her.

Misao jerked back in surprise, she hastily wipe away her tear stained cheeks and twisted in her seat to see the tall lanky form of Sanosuke Sagara standing in the middle of the courtyard looking at her concerned. "Sano?!! What are you doing here?" She asked, surprised.

Sano shrugged. "An old friend of mine asked for a favor and it brought me to Kyoto. I thought I'd drop by before I head back home. Well, actually Jouchan made me promise to visit and see if you're doing alright." He explained as he walked closer to the bench she was sitting on. "So, busu weasel girl, the question is ARE you alright?"

Normally Misao would be thrashing Sano around for the insult but right now she just didn't have to the energy to berate him for it. She sighed tiredly. "I'm fine, Sano. Genki-genki."

Sano's eyes widened in surprise, ::she must really by depressed if she won't even insult me back.:: Then his gaze softened when the obvious cause of her melancholy state occurred to him. "Aoshi?" He asked as he sat down beside her.

To Misao's horror and disgust fresh tears clouded her eyes and threatened to spill down her cheeks. "Gomen ne" She said quietly, frantically wiping her tears with the sleeves of her kimono.

Sanosuke frowned. He was at loss, not entirely sure how to handle the situation. Then a huge grin graced his handsome face when the obvious answer occurred to him. "Come on!" He said urgently. He grabbed one of her hands and proceeded to drag her towards the gate.

"Nani?!" She exclaimed startled, tugging on his tight hold on her wrist. "Matte! Where are we going?!"

Sano stopped and looked back at her. "Shopping." He said, solemnly.

Misao blinked. "Shopping? What for?"

Sano's expression turned confused. "Isn't that what women do when they're upset?" was his nonchalant answer before continuing to drag her out of Aoiya.

And she laughed.

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THWAP!

"Itai!" Sano yelled, clutching at his side where Misao punched him only moments before. "Misao that hurt!!!" He grouched.

"We're sparring, BAKA! It's supposed to hurt!" Misao laughed, from her perch on of the trees surrounding the yard. Without warning she jumped down and landed a well-aimed kick to his leg sending him to the ground in an ungraceful heap. She proceeded to tumble out of reach, twisting in the air to land on the other side of the yard. "You're too slow Tori-atama!!"

"Slow. Ha! I'll show you slow weasel girl." He grumbled, pushing himself to his feet. Then he moved, far too quickly than Misao had ever seen him move before, out of her line of sight.

"Kuso!" She exclaimed, looking around wildly for him.

"Aaaackk!" She cried out, when she was suddenly tackled from the side sending her crashing to the ground on her behind.

"So? Who's slow now? Huh?" Sano asked arrogantly from his place above her, his hands on either side of her head taking most of his weight off of her. His laughing brown eyes twinkling mischievously down at her.

"HMPH!" was her only comment before digging her slender fingers on his sides wriggling them slightly.

His loud inhibited laughter echoed throughout the Aoiya.

Omasu chuckled slightly over their antics from where she sat on the wooden porch. "They're getting along well, ne?" was her comment to Okon who sat beside her quietly sipping tea.

"Aa." Okon agreed, setting down the cup beside her. "Misao-chan HAS been a bit down lately. He's good for her."

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Misao sat on the roof of the Aoiya puzzling over Aoshi's strange behavior the entire day. ::It almost seems like there's something he wants to tell me but we keep getting interrupted. And from the ALMOST nervous expression on his face it's got to be something big.:: "I better talk to him about it later, it might be something important." She muttered to herself. ::Feh! It's got to be something important. Only something big would get him acting weird and he's been acting weird all day. Hell! He's been acting strange all week. He's paid more attention to me this week than the entire time he's been here since Shishio's death.:: "Mou!" She complained. "I'll never understand how his mind works."

"Oi! Talking to yourself now?!" Sano asked, popping from the edge of the roof nearest to her.

"AIYAAAHHHH!" Misao cried out in frightened surprise, fist flailing to ward off her would be "attacker"

"Itai!" Sano cried, rubbing his poor abused head. "Careful weasel girl! You almost sent me falling down!" He said as he climbed on the roof beside her.

"Baka! Then don't scare me like that!" Misao retorted. "What are you doing here anyway?!"

"I was looking for you of course! " Sano answered, giving her a look that clearly said `Isn't that obvious, ahou?!'

"Well? What for?" She asked crossly, a bit miffed at being insulted albeit silently.

"Guess what?!" He asked eagerly, a huge grin spreading on his face. "Well?" He leaned back on his elbows.

Misao rolled her eyes, pretending exasperation. "Why don't you just tell me?!" She said, interest peaked nonetheless for she rarely saw this side of Sanosuke, in fact now that she thought about it, she has NEVER seen this side of Sano before. He was like an excited child during the festival.

"I GOT A JOB!" He crowed proudly, turning to grin hugely at her.

"Eh?" was her intelligent comment, jaw dropping in shock.

"I. GOT. A. JOB." He said, emphasizing each word. He reached out with his finger to tip her chin from its precarious perch to its original position.

"A job?" She repeated, unable to process what he'd just said. ::Sanosuke with a job?! It boggles the mind.::

"Yup!" He replied. "I mean, I've already been here for more than a month. Almost two months in fact. Since it looks like I'm gonna be here for sometime yet I figured I might as well get a job. Need the money ya know? It's on the docks. Helping with the cargo and stuff. Hard work, but it pays fair."

"Aba…gah…wah?!" She squawked.

He laughed out loud; clearly pleased with the reaction he got out of her. "Now, go get ready! I wanna be at the theater early to get good seats."

Misao snapped out of her shock. "Eh? What for?" She was saying that a lot nowadays.

Sano gave her that `Are you an ahou?' look once again. "I got my first pay for this morning, everybody knows you gotta spend your first pay on a night out with your girl."

"But I'm NOT your girl!" Misao protested, blushing slightly. For a moment she could have sworn that Sano looked hurt and disappointed but it was gone to quickly for her to be sure.

"Feh! Do I have to explain everything here?! I haven't got a girl in Kyoto! You're going to have to do!" He said an arrogant smirk.

"HMPH!" She retorted haughtily, smacking him slightly on the head. "Fine! Just give me a moment to get ready."

She carefully climbed down from the roof, all thoughts of Aoshi's strange behavior gone from her mind.

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They walked home from the theater in companiable silence, each immersed in their own thoughts. They made a handsome couple drawing envious and appreciative glances from the passersby.

Misao couldn't believe how much fun she'd had tonight. Dinner was delicious; they decided to be on the safe side and ate at Shirobeko. The play was a romantic tragedy that had her sniffling at the end. Sano kept falling asleep, scaring the women beside them with his loud snores. And when Sano WASN'T sleeping he was surprisingly good company making her laugh by mimicking the actors.

Even now as they were walking home there was peaceful silence, one where you don't feel like you had to say something. She sighed; content to walk beside Sano enjoying the beautiful night.

Then, so softly that she could have imagined it, she heard Sano's deep voice. "I think I love you, Itachi-chan."

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Misao sat across Aoshi on the wooden floor of the temple porch preparing the tea for their morning ritual. She poured the tea on the cups distractedly, thinking about Sano. It has been a week since Sano's unexpected confession and she was still confused. Not sure what to think or how to react. She doesn't even know how she felt. Sano hasn't brought it up either; the few times that they were together seemingly content to pretend that it had never happened. More than once she wondered if she imagined it.

"Misao." Aoshi said, startling her from her reverie.

"H..hai, Aoshi-sama?" She asked, handing him his cup of tea.

"Misao, there is something that needs to be said…" Aoshi began, pausing to sip his tea slowly.

"Yes?" Misao prodded when he placed his cup down.

"I should…" He stopped, brow furrowing, looking unsure of how to go about expressing his thoughts.

Misao's eyes widened, never before seeing Aoshi this unsure.

Then he nodded, as if deciding something. "Misao, People speak well of one's mind but rarely of one's heart for the heart of man is more difficult to understand than heaven itself. But I have realized that the enlightenment of one's heart IS one's heaven."

"Aoshi-sama? Nani?" She asked puzzled, not entirely sure what it meant ::Huh? Heart? Enlightenment?:: "I'm not sure what you mean."

He sighed. "Misao…" He started, meeting her questioning gaze. "Will you be my wife?"

Misao dropped the cup she was holding, the fragile porcelain breaking into a million tiny pieces.

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After searching for several hours, Misao finally found Sano sitting on the roof staring at the stars. She climbed on quietly, sitting down beside him. "Sano?" She said, when he didn't immediately acknowledge her presence. She was a bit unnerved by Sanosuke's uncharacteristic silence.

"Misao, what are you doing up here?" He asked, without looking at her.

Misao winced slightly. "I was looking for you." She replied, quietly.

He didn't answer. They sat there for a long while, staring up at the stars, neither one wanting to be the one to bring it up.

"So I heard you're getting hitched." Sano, finally said, after the silence got to be too much.

"Yes." She answered after a brief pause. "I guess they told you already, huh?"

"Yeah, when I got home from the docks."

"Ah…" was her quiet reply.

"Are you happy?!" He asked, finally turning to look at her.

Misao, met his gaze, uncertainly. "Y…yes."

Sano held her gaze for a moment before nodding. "Then I'm happy. For you."

"Arigato."

Sano just nodded. "We'd better go inside. It's getting late."

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