Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ The Kenshin Parody, Book 1 ❯ Chapter 1

Kelly and Jenny, from such stories as "The X-men the Movie Parody" and "Yo Mama Can Kiss Ass" were cold chillin' in Kelly's basement. Jenny clicked on the tape that was in the VCR.

"Oooohhh...Rurouni Kenshin goodness." drooled Jenny as the images of Kenshin as the Battousai flickered across the screen.

"Oh hell naw," said Kelly, "Didja see how Kenshin just flicked Saito's swordhalf away from his hand like it was a toothpick?"

Suddenly a bright flash filled the room blinding the two 19 year old girls. When the light faded away and they could see again, they found that they weren't in good ole ghetto Milwaukee no mo'.

"TV?" whimpered Jenny, "TV?! Where is the TV!!!"

Kelly looked around in awe, "Wow! I never knew that Afghanistan looked like this! Wait a minute, this ain't no Afghanistan! Where the fuck fwickity fuck fuck are we?"

Jenny was busy looking for the missing television, not even noticing the scenery change. "Kelly? Where's the magic Kenshin box?"

"I dunno. But we need to find a way outta here. We could get eaten by cannibals or…giant yaks!" said Kelly.

"Grrrrrr. Yaks, those bastards," said Jenny, shaking her fist at nothing.

"Jenny, just calm down, don't get your panties in a twist," said Kelly, trying to soothe her angered buddy.

"But where the hell is the damn TV?" yelled Jenny at the top of her lungs.

"Did you even hear anything that I said before?" said Kelly, "We might die or be eaten by YAKS if we don't find a way home right now!"

"I heard 'yaks'," replied Jenny who was in the process of looking for the TV under a rock.

"You won't find the goddamn TV under that freakin' rock!" yelled Kelly.

"Hey no need to yell, hooker!"

"That's it bitch!" screeched Kelly, jumping at Jenny.

That started a brawl to end all brawls.

The two rolled around, smacking and hitting each other with anything at hand. They rolled into a nearby fruit stand, crushing the fruit in the process.

Meanwhile, a crowd of villagers were crowding around the scene making

girls, watching them make complete asses outta themselves.

"Beeeeyatch, get your foot out of my face!"

"Babow nigga!"

"Eat Afghanistani gravel!"

"Talkin' shit cantaloupe?" yelled Jenny to a random musk melon that she had stepped upon. It was stuck on her foot. She kicked it off and it flew straight for Kelly's fo' head.

"Aww, I see how it is now. You know I hate fruit!" yelled Kelly, who picked

up an onion and chucked it at Jenny's head.

The merchants were starting to yell things at the girls, who were ruining their supplies and merchandise.

"Hey they're ruining my rice paddies!"

"Get out of my fruit stand!"

"Someone stop them! Police! Police!"

"Make them stop fighting for the love of the gods!"

A guy appeared and grabbed Jenny's arm. Jenny dropped the watermelon that she was about to hurl at Kelly and looked up in shock.

"Hey whats the big idea! Leggo!" yelled Jenny, trying to get away from the man's vice-like grip.

"I hope you plan on compensating these people for the fruit that you've ruined." said the man in a deep voice.

Kelly stood of to the side, a smile on her face. "Busted," she mouthed, crossing her arms over her chest, "I ain't bailing yo ass outta this one."

Jenny looked up at the man sheepishly, "Not really. We don't have any money." She grinned, hoping the man would have a sense of humor. Her grin faded when she saw his stern expression.

"We?"

"Yeah. Her," Jenny replied, pointing to Kelly's retreating speck on the horizon. "Uhh...Kelly? Kelly!!"

The man dropped Jenny off at the jail before she could blink an eye. He then decided to go looking for her accomplice.

Jenny sat on the cold floor, sulking and singing the Blue's.

"Da dada da da....Got caught bustin' some fruit."

"Go-o-o-damn."

"Cantaloupe talkin' shit."

"And now I'm in the can."