Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ The Samurai Wives ❯ Birthing Scars ( Chapter 9 )

`I've got my hand in redemption's side, whose scars are bigger than these doubts of mine. I'll fit all of these monstrosities inside and I'll come alive.'

-Switchfoot `Redemption'

(((((((((())))))))))

Chapter Nine- Birthing Scars

The room was quiet. It wasn't silent, like so many other nights; but just quiet. The sounds of the crickets were minimal and soft, perfectly tuned in with the breeze blowing through the trees just outside. Kenshin took in a long breath of night air, his back pressed against the wall. He didn't plan on much sleep, but just enough, as always.

A soft break in the steady breathing just across the room caused him to look up warily, watching as Kaoru shifted in her sleep. Long before they had settled the dispute about sharing a room, so long as he remained true to his sleeping habits against the walls, wakizashi at close hand, and she took the futon on the opposite end of the room. He let out a small breath, unwilling to break the quiet symphony outside the house.

He felt as though it would be just another of many insomnia-ridden nights. Scoffing mentally, he picked up the short blade and slipped out, silent as a shadow. The night still pressed against him insistently, the winds taking care to play with his hair, lifting it up gently as he lowered himself to the ground, facing up into the clear, dark night sky. Reaching carefully into his gi, he pulled out the strip of silk that had floated on the winds to him months before. The silk had worn a bit, but had lost none of its original softness on his hardened hands. He turned it over in his hands, letting it flow around him, eyes sliding shut.

A soft hand touched his shoulder before he reacted by unsheathing his wakizashi and laying it on the girl's throat. A short gasp burned his throat as the blade clattered to the ground shamefully.

"K-Kaoru!"

She swallowed carefully, fingers absently touching the tiny nick on her neck where his sword had dug in. "I'm sorry! I didn't say anything... caught you off guard. I should have known better."

He seized her tiny wrist and pulled her to the ground, just as her hand seized her robe and held it firmly shut. His thumb brushed over the cut, her blood staining the toughened skin. She stared up at him with wide blue eyes, full of fear.

"Please don't look at me like that." He whispered. The moment was musical with the sounds of the earth, and it demanded that no interruption be made.

Swallowing the sudden thickness that made her tongue not want to move of her accord, Kaoru shivered. "Like what?" His voice, in moments like those, was urgent. It was as if he was not asking her because it was what he desired, but that it was what he needed.

"Like you're afraid I'm going to swallow you. Like... I'm a monster." He lowered his eyes to the ground and, as if possessed by the night itself, continued. "I'm... afraid... of it... I don't care what anyone else thinks... but, for a reason I can't figure out," He trailed off, swallowed, and found his voice again. "I don't want you to think of me like that."

There was something about him that was always crying out for her acceptance, and her forgiveness for his sins. Kaoru realized what the teenager was asking her for when he pleaded with her like he was. Pale hands, soft as the silk that lay forgotten on the ground, lay themselves on either side of his face.

"You're not a monster, Kenshin. You are a man." Her voice faltered for a moment, the full weight of what she was realizing crashing down on her. "The women I knew growing up were the samurai wives, and they told me that men were monsters... But when I finally met a man, he wasn't the monster I thought he would be. But he was haunted by monstrosities, and thought that it made him one..." She closed her eyes for a moment, and then stared deep into his. "Kenshin... You are no monster. You are a man."

Sometime when she was speaking, all the sounds in the symphony stopped, leaving them in absolute silence as he absorbed what she was saying. He swallowed, understanding how very tangled together the two of them were; both physically and in their destinies. The whole world was holding its breath, as if waiting for him to make a decision as to whether or not he would take the leap of faith that had been presented to him.

He opened his mouth to say something, but it was lost the moment he did so, and he shut it again. She pressed a soft finger to his lips.

"Don't say a word." The order was kind and understanding; giving him the time he needed.

"There's nothing left to say." He told her quietly, leaning forward to press his forehead to hers.

"I... know..." The sheer quiet of everything would have unnerved her, if only she heard it through the rush of sound in her ears and the deafening pounding of her heart. The breaths she took became more labored and shallow as he laid his mouth on her cut neck.

Her senses ignited, but all she could feel was numbness as the sounds of countless warnings from her past came rushing through her ears, completely unheeded.

But... he's not... a monster.

((()))

Kaoru stretched carefully, rubbing her eyes afterwards. Just as she finished stretching, her memory crashed in, and she stopped dead.

"Oh my..." She chewed on her lip fervently, crawling up off her futon.

A quick scan of the room told her that she was alone, and she buried her face back into the cushion of her bed.

"It was just a kiss... A little, tiny, meaningless..." She felt a sharp pain in her lip and the bitter, metallic taste of blood flooded into her mouth; a sharp slap to her face, dragging her out of the fantastical illusions she was weaving in her mind that there was no meaning in what had happened.

"Why couldn't I just... have stayed asleep...?" She whispered hoarsely into the cushion.

A quiet footfall outside the door announced Kenshin's presence before he opened the shoji.

"Are you awake yet?"

She hesitated, then, "Yes." The reply was muffled, and she wasn't certain he'd heard her. She lifted her head off of the futon and stared up at him half-intently- searching for any indication to his feelings, though she expected nothing from the cool assassin.

He shifted in a manner that could only be interpreted as awkwardly, and set a hand on the frame of the door. "I'd like it if you got dressed quickly. Iizuka's here."

All thoughts of the previous night, and the ensuing confusion, fled her mind. "What?", was all she managed to choke out before stumbling to her feet and reaching over for a kimono; completely disregarding the kind attitude the boy was giving her.

He shook his head. "Just get dressed, if you will." His eyes flicked away from her and the room for a brief second before settling back on her. "And hurry." He slid the shoji shut and she heard him pad down the hall softly.

The blood that had begun to coagulate on her lip was gone in a moment as she bit the lip hard. "Hai."

Moments later, Kaoru stepped into the kitchen, where Iizuka knelt at their table. A hot temper rose in her seeing this, but she suppressed it and knelt as far from him as possible.

"I say... you weren't lying! I thought that by now you would've-" Kaoru flushed, knowing precisely what the man had been thinking of saying before receiving a sharp look from Kenshin.

"I would watch myself, if I were you. Tell her why you're here." Kenshin's voice held none of the kindness she'd grown used to hearing from him, for her; nor the softness he had when she cracked further into his shell, and he into hers. Kaoru shivered in the realization that Kenshin had changed so radically without her realizing.

Iizuka leaned back slightly. "We thought Katsura-sama had bailed on us. Just up and left with that geisha... Turns out he was in hiding and didn't tell anyone where, so we could at least figure out how to regroup. He started showing up at other member's safe houses and telling them where and when to meet up about three weeks ago." He scoffed. "Took him until two days ago to get to me. I told him I'd come get you two and tell you where to meet us." He gave a feral grin to Kaoru. "Guess you're getting back to Kyoto, princess. It's a matter of days before you get to your family, once you're back." He turned to Kenshin. "Some hidden members have managed to get us a good footing back in the city, and that's why we've been able to come back."

Kaoru heard Kenshin murmur something under his breath, and nod curtly. "Fine. We'll pack up and be on our way within the next day. Tell Katsura that." He stood up, and Kaoru noticed that his katana was out of the chest he'd hidden it in and in his hand.

She stood up. "Go on now. If we're to get back soon, then you'd best go on so we can get things done." Her blunt tone startled him, but he stood and left with a quick nod to each of them.

The redheaded teen clenched his fists tightly and set his katana on the table irritably. "That dirty son-of-a..." He trailed off and glanced up at her quickly, raising his eyebrows in apology.

She knelt across from him. "It's a trap." She stared intently at him. "You know it is, don't you? He's the spy, and we didn't know until now. He's lying."

Rough hands fingered the hilt of the katana. "I think he's not lying about Katsura. I think that he's been in hiding, and he finally came out to regroup. I don't even think he's lying about the Oniwabanshu helping them get a good footing in the city... except that the Oniwabanshu isn't an Imperialistic group." He hissed, wrapping his fingers around the hilt, clenching it until his knuckles turned white. Cold fury was etched into every line on him, radiating out from him.

Kaoru set her hand on his. "Don't be like that. We know it's a trap, and we can avoid it because together we have the foresight to know that we've been betrayed."

A tranquilizing effect ran over him from her touch. The hot pain of the fury in his chest cooled, and he closed his own hand around hers. "You're right..." Inhaling slowly, the pressures of what await them on their return to Kyoto causing his head to pound, he stood up stiffly. "He knows we know. We have to get out of here."

"What makes you think-" She never finished for the loud bang of the door being knocked in.

Kenshin's instincts took over, reflexively seizing and unsheathing his sword, holding it before him. The long months of waiting hadn't had any effect on his skills, he could already tell. "Kaoru!" He shouted, yanking her by the wrist behind him.

She stared at the group of people crowding into their house. Her heart froze over at the sight of the torch in the hands of the one standing closest to them. The plume of smoke drifting up from the burning wood caught in her throat, and she coughed violently.

The ninja with the torch smiled at them horribly. "We've been sent to exterminate you."

Kenshin pushed Kaoru back roughly, either not noticing or caring that she crashed into the counter, and raised his sword. "Get out of my way."

"No." A laugh was the response given as well, one that was cut of quickly as Kenshin disappeared, and reappeared next to him, sword dripping with fresh blood from the deep slash in the man's neck.

"A shame." He hissed, flicking the blood off his sword with a quick swish.

Kaoru gave a strangled cry, half in horror of watching Kenshin commit what she had believed him incapable of, but more so of the horror of watching helplessly as the torch fell, the wooden floor bursting into flames.

Kenshin turned slowly, the flames growing faster than he had thought they could have, and cried out her name desperately. The darkness in his eyes faded back into horror-struck lavender. The remainder of the attackers fled without him noticing, standing just feet from the terrified girl with a barrier of flame between them.

The early morning peace was already shattered with the ugly smoke rising into the pale blue skies. The birds fled the trees in alarm and a loud twittering. Kaoru felt her strength leave her quickly as the smoke drifted lazily into her lungs, choking her.

Throwing all caution to the winds, Kenshin sheathed his katana and pushed into the flames, emerging on the other side to lift the girl effortlessly. Without a second thought, he broke through the shoji and retreated from the house. When they were a safe distance from the burning structure, he looked up and watched it burn, marring what had promised to be a beautiful day. Kaoru stirred and sat up slowly, then jerked toward the house.

"My mirror!" She cried, making to stand up and return to the house.

Kenshin pulled her back. "No! It's not that important!"

She fell to her knees and watched feebly. "I... It was important to me... because... I felt that... it was my link to you..." The tears slipping from her eyes left tracks in the soot on her face.

Feeling more powerless than she, Kenshin did all that his new emotions told him to do, and embraced the girl tightly. "No... It's not... We don't need a mirror to help us see one another anymore."

Finding no reply adequate, and he nothing more to say, the pair sat, bloodstained and covered in soot, on the grass on a peaceful day killed. Her sobs shook her body, but neither took their eyes from their blazing home, feeling the same pain together as their memories caught fire and burned.