Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ The Samurai Wives ❯ White ( Chapter 12 )

Chapter Twelve- White

Kaoru stared out to the sky, which had held a steady, gray color for several days. A sigh slid from her lips, before she closed her eyes in resignation before turning away and closed the shoji. There was no bold adventure awaiting her anytime in her foreseeable future, she had long before decided. There was nothing waiting for her anymore, and it both frustrated and saddened her. Was there no great challenge waiting in her future? Was there simply nothing left for her to do with her life, but learn entertaining tricks? A rude scoff was muffled into a soft grunt in her throat.

Chiyo turned around, surprised by the suppressed noise. "Kaoru-dono?" She murmured, shifting through the chest they had together found, filled to the top with the loveliest kimono. Kaoru had worn none of them, sticking to the intention that she deserved them no more than anyone else. Her mind was stuck to other things.

Kaoru made a whisper of an apology, looking down to the ground; her hair ornaments jangling cheerfully as she did not feel. "Chiyo-san?"

Chiyo looked up again. "Yes, Kaoru-dono?"

Kaoru sighed, but she was already resigned to everything else, and had no desire to continue fighting anything at all, let alone Chiyo and her choice in honorific. "Oh... I... wished to know if you had made a selection." She finished lamely.

Chiyo flicked her eyes away from Kaoru for a brief moment, and then slipped her keen hands into the folds of silk, slipping out a single kimono, on which Kaoru could see nothing but white.

Kaoru suppressed her own urge to recoil and keep away from the cold white. It reflected her frozen over heart, and she longed to keep her heartbreak and pain to herself. The white was that of death, and while Kaoru did not think herself a superstitious person, the total lack of anything on the silk unnerved her.

"This one." Chiyo announced finally, opening it up to show Kaoru a splash of brilliant color.

She relaxed slightly; enough to nod and pull open her yukata. Chiyo had come with her from the inn, at her own request, to help her in all the things that she would have had other helping her with. She allowed Chiyo to dress her, though she consistently kept slowing her down. "Not so fast, Chiyo. Please." She would murmur every few moments.

After repeating the single phrase several times, Chiyo dropped the obi she was tying and stared at Kaoru teasingly. "Were I to go any slower, Kaoru-dono, I believe that you would age many years before I was finished!"

Kaoru nodded, once again resigned. It seemed so simple, this life. Everything was easy, but she was already missing her country house, where she had lived before, growing her own crops, and living with... with...

Kenshin.

The name slid through her mind, even though she had tried to ignore it for as long as she could. The spring was gone, and the burning summer had fallen upon them all. Despite the heat, she was still dressing in the heavy robes that held more elegance than the less formal yukata she had taken to wearing. Her father, whom she still could hardly believe as her own, despite her obvious resemblance, had requested her to attend with him a meeting. This meeting was important to him, and she had done everything she could have to ensure her attendance. She wanted to make him proud, even though a sinking feeling inside her led her to believe that this supposed `meeting' was truly an arrangement for her own marriage.

Chiyo completed the complex knot on her obi, and patted her once on the back. "Ready, Kaoru-dono? I'll accompany you to the main chamber, if you like."

Kaoru nodded slowly. "Please, Chiyo-san. I would appreciate it so much..."

Chiyo escorted her to the room, knocking politely for her, before abandoning her at the door. Kaoru waited for the door to be opened, and stepped in stately. Her father watched her appraisingly, offering little more than a cool smile. He nodded to her, gesturing that she kneel beside him at the table.

"Our guests will soon be arriving." He stated unemotionally.

Kaoru said nothing, but stared down at the shock of white that was her kimono. It was a contrast to her skin, however pale it was. The larger margin of contrast, however, was between the long strands of dark hair that fell on the cold silk. The fascination she created with the purity of the white made her seem demure and a lovely woman.

She marveled at how like snow it was; how like the snow she was. Even while looking blank, her mind raced. It made her wonder if she was simply going to melt away in the summer heat. She had never, not once, in her life, imagined such a situation. And even if she had, she would have made herself tear at the constriction of her snow kimono, scream at the man she did not know, who called himself her father, and run far, far away.

Kaoru closed her eyes instead. The sound of a shoji opening let her know that the guests had arrived. She was still terrified of them, though none of her body language communicated this.

No one spoke, though she could hear one man sit down on his knees slowly. The second- for she was sure that there were two- was apparently standing.

The man sitting spoke. "Good to see you." His tone was conversational, directed at her father, and ever so familiar.

Kaoru's eyes snapped open, staring straight at the man who had sat down. Katsura sat calmly across from her, pouring himself a small cup of tea. She nodded silently, and with as little blatancy as possible. She did not allow her eyes to stray, but knew that her mind was already gone when she found herself focusing on the other man, whom she would not look at, for fear of being wrong.

She stayed silent for what stretched out into eternity. Her thoughts dwelled on snow and silence, and the fire that she could feel just beyond her reach; just too far away to truly warm her. The wooden floors were shiny and clean. They unnerved her, for she could find no spots on it. No humble marks that made the room seem less godly than her father wanted. The heat of the summer was burning through the shoji, but she could not feel it, longing to stretch herself toward the only other warmth she could feel in the room. She did not, however, want to be wrong.

She did not look up.

By the sudden change in the tones of the two men, the meeting was over between her father and Katsura. She looked up just as Katsura left the room, and his guard started to follow him. Her instincts betrayed her, and she looked up, eyes taking in the fire, which flared out toward her. Kaoru did not mind anymore; she felt as though she would not mind melting away anymore.

"K...Kenshin!" She cried, hardly aware of it.

He turned slowly, looking just over his shoulder, but stared deep in her. His eyes were as cold as when she had first met him, but held a far greater loneliness and pain than ever before. In his eyes, she could see his weaknesses, and he could see hers.

Kaoru held her breath, just as he opened his mouth to speak.