Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ The Sharpest Lives ❯ Chapter 8

The Sharpest Lives 8 / ??
Written by Jezz-Ra
Warnings - Not all warnings apply to all chapters. Yaoi, Lemon, Violence, Language, Angst
Disclaimer - I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, don't make money off it. Wish I did.

Archived at - anime.adultfanfiction.net, fanfiction.net, and mediaminer.org ::: Anywhere else, ask!
Questions or Comments? - Email me at megami_no_remon@hotmail.com

// blah // indicates thoughts.

A/N - I burned up all my creativity in author's notes in the other fic I'm writing, and that isn't sayin' much. Again, thanks to those few reviewers that I have...you make me feel appreciated. =D I'm sorry that I can't update this one every single day, but I'll still do my best.

On the up side...I have delicious buffalo sticks to munch on. Something about that amuses me horribly, and I know it shouldn't. Maybe I'm just tired.
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In light of his revelation, Sano quickly removed himself from Kenshin's reach. "Well, I think I'm going to go get some air and I'll let you rest, alright?"

Kenshin was a little surprised at how abruptly Sano leapt to his feet, but he didn't comment. "I shall try, at least. I do not feel particularly tired after my nap, however."

"Well, its good for you, so..yeah. I'll...I'll be back later." Sano practically bolted out the door, suddenly desperate to put some space between himself and the too-pretty samurai.

Once outside the door and down the hallway a bit, Sano sagged against the wall with a low groan. // This just isn't possible. I've never even considered considering another male as anything deeper than a friend. I don't swing that way. I'm not attracted to men. //

But if that were entirely true, what was the sudden, near painful sensation that had reared up in his gut? // Hah, maybe that's why I couldn't keep a woman for more than a few weeks! // Even as he thought that, however, Sanosuke knew it wasn't true. His interest in women was still as healthy as ever, and he didn't find the thought of men to be remotely as interesting or erotic.

And then... then there was Kenshin. Sano let out a long sigh. Kenshin was simply in a class all to himself.

Yes, he was male...but dear gods, he was beautiful...that lithe and graceful figure, pale skin, long and silky auburn tail swishing when he moved, those liquid amethyst eyes...

Sano bit his lip as he felt heat pooling in his groin. // Well...guess that settles it then. Kenshin turns me on. Great. //

With a bit of will, Sano squashed his budding desire. A grim chuckle escaped him. // Heh. I can just imagine the ass-beating I would get if I tried to put a move on Kenshin. I don't care how little he is...when he gets that LOOK, he's just fucking scary. //

The fighter squirmed uneasily as he tried to come to grips with his new insight. // Maybe I'm just... I don't know. I haven't had a woman in a long time and Kenshin's the nicest looking critter I've seen lately ...and it's just lust talking. //

No, that wasn't true, and Sano knew it even before he finished the thought. It was more than just simple physical attraction. Everything about Kenshin's personality and who he was struck all the right chords. He was an amazing fighter, honorable, intelligent, quick-witted, good-hearted, trustworthy...he had every redeeming quality imaginable. Sano appreciated Kenshin's quiet wisdom, the way he never tried to impress his beliefs on anyone else. The samurai always took everyone's concerns extremely seriously and would do anything he could even to help a stranger.

Kenshin was the type to give and give and give of himself until he had nothing left...and then somehow find a way to give a little more. He never asked or expected anything in return.

// Yeah...and despite being probably the kindest, most caring and giving person I know... he spends all of his days quietly hating himself. Its....it's maddening. It's a damn shame! It... // Sano stopped dead as a thought struck him. // It's part of the reason I left, isn't it?... I couldn't stand to watch him go about life at the dojo, wearing that adorable but entirely fake smile and pretending like life was happy and normal...when inside he was chewing himself up. There wasn't anything I could do to stop it...and I thought...well. Shit. I thought he and Kaoru had a thing going. It was supposed to be HER job to help crack him open and start healing him, not mine. //

Sano narrowed his eyes in determination. Well, he had been wrong about Kaoru being able to help fix Kenshin. He had left rather than...than what? Watch Kenshin suffer in silence? Or worse, watch Kaoru pretend that Kenshin was alright? It wasn't possible that she TRULY believed all his fake smiles, all the times he insisted he was perfectly fine and happy just so others wouldn't worry about him...was it? Surely she couldn't be that much in denial, that naive.

// Was I....jealous? Did I just not realize it yet? How long is it, exactly, that I've felt this way about my best friend...? //

Another insight slapped Sanosuke upside the head, and it made him swallow convulsively. // Shit. All this means... I'm not just... I don't just lust for him. Am I... am I in LOVE with him? Hah...well, I guess that explains it. I'm not interested in men, but he's simply such an amazing person I fell in love with him DESPITE him being...well. A him. //

Sano ran his fingers through his hair and heaved a ragged sigh as he headed up onto the deck to talk to some of the ship's crew. // What do I do now?... //

After talking to the crew for a while, Sano was able to largely put the problem out of his mind. He swept it under the proverbial mental rug and pretended like it wasn't an issue. Still, he was largely relieved to find that he didn't have even the slightest flicker of interest in any of the other men on the ship. Not all of them were bad looking, either. // So... I guess I'm not entirely crooked. I'm only interested in women and Kenshins. //

After a couple hours of helping out with some of the chores that needed to be done, lunch was announced. The crew happily filtered down to the ship's mess hall. Sano followed, although he declined a few offers of company and instead made a couple plates to go. He didn't suppose Kenshin would appreciate being thrust into a room full of unfamiliar people in his condition.

When he reached his cabin, he blinked at the sight of Kenshin ever-so-slowly making his way around the edges of the room, poking and prodding at random things with his sheathed sakabatou. "Ah...welcome back, Sano."

"I brought lunch. What...are you doing?"

"Familiarizing myself with the cabin. Provided you don't move things around on me, I should not have any trouble getting around from now on."

"Oh. That's good. Want to come eat?"

Kenshin made his way unerringly to the small table and sat down, only weaving a little bit. He was starting to get the hang of things, and it made him feel infinitely better.

Sano's wandering mind locked on Kenshin again, and soon the fighter was staring at the samurai intently as if he expected him to suddenly grow a second head or have an alien burst from his chest. He was guarded and wary, mentally convincing himself that this power Kenshin had over him couldn't possibly be natural.

Kenshin didn't mind enjoying a meal in silence, but he could feel Sano's eyes burning into him. "Sano? Is...something wrong?"

"Yes. And it is ENTIRELY your fault..." Sano finally muttered testily, taking a vindictive bite of his sandwich.

"Oro?..." Sano was not forthcoming with any more information, however. Kenshin hid his frown and nibbled on his food thoughtfully. // Sanosuke certainly is acting strangely of late. Something is bothering him and I can't imagine what it could be. What is he hiding from me....and why would he bother to hide it? Have I somehow angered him? Am I just not good at reading him anymore, with us being apart for so long? // "If...I have offended you in some way, I'm sorry."

Sano sighed. "Nah...forget about it, Kenshin. You didn't do anything."

"You did say it was my fault," the redhead pointed out.

"Trust me. You didn't do anything. I'm just being...stupid. Heh."

Kenshin paused for a moment, waiting to see if Sano was going to elaborate, but didn't push for details. If Sano wanted to talk about it, then he would. It wasn't his place to pry, after all.

After the meal, Kenshin took his medicine before laying back down to rest, and Sano went to go help out on deck.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The same general routine went on for most of the next two weeks. Sano was growing increasingly edgy, and it was starting to eat at even Kenshin's patience, although the stubborn fighter wasn't giving any clues as to what was on his mind.

Kenshin's hearing had begun to return in his damaged ear and seemed to improve every day. With the return of sound, his equilibrium was fully restored as well. His grace and fluidity returned with it, although he still carried the staff Sano had brought for him. While he was able to easily navigate the cabin and most of the ship by this point, he still needed the stick to alert him to any objects that might have been placed in his path that were not there previously.

That evening, Sano sat down to again help tend to his eyes. Kenshin blinked owlishly as the bandage was removed and the last of the herbal poultice was wiped away. He let out a startled little gasp that had Sano peering at him in alarm. "Sano!"

"What? What's wrong?!"

"I ... I can see!"

Sano blinked. "You can?"

"Oro...well. Everything was just...white. I can see...blurs, though. It's not just blank."

Sano grinned. "Well, that's a step in the right direction, for sure. Your eyes don't look all...bloodshot, either." // Still unfocused and vacant, but not...dead. It's a DEFINITE improvement. //

Kenshin smiled. "I was beginning to doubt that they would heal, that I was. I am...greatly relieved that some progress seems to be taking place."

"Well, I guess those herbs must have done some good. We're out of them, though. But I guess it doesn't much matter. They served their purpose. I guess the doctor said they were to help put moisture back into your eyes because it all got fried out in that flash."

"Yes. Although I have to say I'll probably keep them covered for a time. The light still hurts."

"It's only an oil lamp...heh. Sorry."

"I know. I can smell it." Kenshin smiled and took the cloth Sano offered him, wrapping the band around his head. It wasn't a bandage and was a good deal more comfortable, but served to keep the light out. "This is much better."

Sano agreed happily before something rose up inside him and whispered perverse things about a blindfolded Kenshin into his brain. The fighter swallowed convulsively and restrained the urge to slap himself. He must have made some sort of noise, because Kenshin turned towards him in concern.

"Are you alright, Sano?"

Sano sighed heavily. "No, I'm not. I haven't been in a while."

"I have noticed something has seemed a little...off. Do you wish to talk about it? You don't have to if you do not wish, but I am willing to help how I can if you do."

"I was thinking about...something you said. When you asked me if I found what it was I was looking for."

"Yes?"

"When I really thought about it... I did. I realized what it was. It had been there all along, I was just too stubborn to realize it...or too stupid. Or too...closed-minded. Or naive. Or something. I decided without really knowing why that it would be better to go and look for an alternative because what I was looking for was out of my reach. But there wasn't an alternative, and it took me all these years to realize it."

"It sounds like you've had something of an epiphany."

"Yeah, I have."

"Well, I am happy for you. What is it you will do now, Sano?" Kenshin's tone was quiet. He had no idea about what great revelation Sano might have had, but judging from the fighter's odd actions of late, Kenshin was a bit worried that his friend might be leaving him again. It was a sad thought, but if Sano needed to go to further his life and follow his dreams, who was he to stop him?

"I've thought about it a lot since we've been on this ship, actually. And I know what I'm going to do...although it might end with us parting ways and you may never forgive me. I might very well kill our friendship, but I'm not sure I can live with things the way they are now."

Kenshin looked a bit taken aback, although his heart sank. // So he IS planning on leaving. How distressing. I was growing used to his company again. // "I... Sano, it'd take something truly drastic for you to damage our friendship. What on earth are you thinking? You needn't do anything rash, and I'll help out with whatever it is that needs to be done."

// Oh, Kenshin, you can't understand. // Sano sighed heavily as he stared at the little redhead. // I've faced near certain death with less fear than I have at this moment.... // "Kenshin..."

"Yes, Sano?"

Sano shifted and squared his shoulders, gathering up his courage. // Well, there's nothing for it. I can't sit and drool over him forever without him figuring it out, especially since he'll be able to see me again soon if things keep up this way. Besides, I'm not sure I can be around him and...and live with feeling this way if I don't do something about it. Even if he rejects me, I can't just...I have to try. // Sano eyed Kenshin for a long moment before he made his move, lunging forward and hauling the unsuspecting redhead into an almost vicious kiss.