Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ The Tao Of Aoshi ❯ Chapter 1

I was cleaning out my school stuff today when I found this. I don't even remember writing it, but it's in my handwriting so it must be mine. Just a little short written after reading Stephen Mitchell's translation of the Tao Te Ching. I see Aoshi as a Taoist thinker. Much of what he says comes straight from the book. Enjoy!

Spoiler: Allusions to the Jinchu arc.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kenshin or the Taoist philosophy, although I really love them both.

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Aoshi looked over the rim of his cup at the red headed samurai in front of him. He was fidgeting nervously and hadn't really even touched his tea. Aoshi sighed, and the steam of his drink blew forward. Kenshin took another small sip from his cup before placing it down. It clinked on the table, shattering the silence Aoshi had been enjoying. He watched as Kenshin's eyes darted from the cup to the wall, to the futon in the corner, back to the cup. His hands crossed each other, uncrossed, crossed. Aoshi almost smiled at the older swordsman's blatant display of nervousness. He gently placed his cup down. Kenshin turned quickly at the small, soft sound. His foot grazed the table. Both cups shook. Kenshin clambered to save his, and in the process, knocked it over. Tea sloshed across the table and dripped to the floor. Kenshin tried to mop it up with the sleeve of his gi. Aoshi's cup wobbled lightly back into place. It did not spill a single drop. Aoshi watched Kenshin's pink gi sop up the warm liquid from the fallen cup.

"You wish to speak with me about something, Battousai." It was not a question but a statement of fact. Kenshin looked up, his arm still on the table. Aoshi reached over and righted his cup. Kenshin sat on his heels.

"What makes you think that, Aoshi?" Aoshi raised an eyebrow at him. Kenshin's hands returned to his lap, crossing, uncrossing, crossing, much faster than before. In an instant, Aoshi's hand was gripping the front of his pink gi. His other hand rested softly at the pulse point of his neck. Kenshin's red hair brushed his knuckles. Aoshi released him and sat back down. The cups on the table wobbled to a stop. Aoshi picked his up and sipped the tea. Kenshin's hand fluttered to his neck.

"If I were an enemy, you would be dead. You are distracted. You came to me with a question on your mind, but you won't let it past your lips." Kenshin gaped at the younger man who sat before him in a white yukata with his legs crossed, cup to his lips, his eyes closed like some contented Buddha. To Kenshin, Aoshi looked like an infinitely wise man. All traces of the man he battled with in the Kanryu mansion and in Shishio's lair were gone. He was a man who had focused all his being on one thing, wanted, strived for only one thing, then let it go. Aoshi opened his eyes. He was a man free from desire. The icy exterior Kenshin had known was still there, though it was no longer quite so cold. It wasn't fiery like Sanosuke's either. It was calm, serene, and tranquil. Like a still pond, Aoshi was at peace. Kenshin found himself wishing for that state of being.

"Aoshi, have you ever loved anyone?"

"I love no one, therefore I can love everyone." Kenshin sighed. Getting advice was going to be harder than he thought. Aoshi though was the only person he could ask. Sanosuke would have no clue, and he would be too busy trying to get Megumi's hands off of him to ask her anything.

"What about Misao?" Aoshi did not hesitate.

"I love no one, therefore I can love everyone."

"But doesn't she love you?" Aoshi placed his cup down. There was no agitation in his voice.

"You are not here to discuss my feelings for Misao or her feelings for me. You are here to discuss the Kamiya girl. Your question isn't have I ever loved someone, but have you. You don't want to know if I love Misao, but if you love the Kamiya girl and if she loves you. I think you already know the answer to the first two, Battousai. It is the last that troubles you. Otherwise, why would you be here crossing and uncrossing your hands like that?" Kenshin's hands stilled.

"I am thinking of asking her to marry me." Aoshi was silent. He reached for his cup. The steam wafted from it as he brought it to his face.

"Stop thinking and end your problems."

"I am afraid she'll say no."

"What difference between yes and no?" Kenshin was at a loss for words for a moment. His mouth opened, closed. Hands crossed, uncrossed, crossed, uncrossed, stilled.

"If I fail…"

"What difference between success and failure?"

"Aoshi! I love Kaoru-dono. If she were to say no, I don't know what I'd do!" His hands flew to his mouth; his eyes turned downward.

"Why do you cover your mouth?"

"I don't want you to think less of this unworthy one for blurting that out."

"Why would you think I would?"

"All men get nervous about this, but that is no reason to embarrass myself."

"Why must you value what others value? Avoid what others avoid? How ridiculous." Kenshin looked up at him. Aoshi hadn't moved. He still sat cross-legged, holding his tea.

"What do you think she will say?"

"Does it matter what I think?" Kenshin brushed away the red bangs that fell into his face.

"I guess not. I guess I'm just so scared. I know what I expect she'll say." Aoshi placed his cup down.

"Battousai, if you don't expect, you can't be disappointed. I know a woman who has leaned not to expect and that is the only way she can be at peace."

"It is?"

"She has lived with a man for over a yea. This man saves her from the devils of his past. She watches him with love in her eyes. She was captured. She waited for him. She was taken home after being after weeks of being under a different man's control. Even after the raw emotion she saw in his eyes when he found her, he still keeps himself reserved from her. And she isn't disappointed because she doesn't expect him to do anything more than what he has already done." Aoshi ignored the way Kenshin wiped his eyes and cheeks.

"I feel bad for her."

"You shouldn't. She is content. Should he ask her hand, she would be surprised, not unhappy, just surprised." Kenshin stood up suddenly.

"Thank you for the tea, Aoshi."

"You are welcome." Kenshin began to walk out the door.

"Battousai."

"Yes?"

"About Misao, she has focused all of her desire into having me. I am all she wants, all she thinks about. When she releases that, when she is at peace, I will be hers for the taking. The Kamiya girl has let go of that desire. All she really wants is what she has."

"We should have tea again sometime."

"I agree." Aoshi walked to the door and watched him move down the hall and around the corner. He heard someone skipping up behind him. He knew without looking that her long black hair was swaying in a braid. Her thin, strong legs moved quickly, bounding her toward him.

"Hello, Misao."

"I packed everything like you said, Aoshi-sama."

"Did you?"

"Uh-huh. All ready to go back to Kyoto. How was your tea with Himura?"

"It was fine. You might want to unpack. I think we will be staying in Tokyo a bit longer."

"Why?"

"Battousai and the Kamiya girl are getting married." The wind chime tinkled softly in the breeze, and the young girl smiled.

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A/N: Everyone who can should read Stephen Mitchell's translation. It changed my whole life. Please review!