Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Time Changes All ❯ Ippo Zutsu ( Chapter 22 )

Author's Notes: This is another short chapter and I apologize. I also apologize for the bad mood that I was in the other day. Some people seems to be wondering, what does my pen name mean? Well `hoshi ni onegai' means `wish upon a star' in Japanese. See I wish upon a star that my fics will not be hated. Well I hope you enjoy this chappie, although it does touch on some angsty topics. R&R!

Disclaimer: Kenshin belongs to the dude that invented him, in other words: NOT ME

". . ." dialogue

`. . .' thoughts

(. . .) author's useless commentary

Ippo Zutsu

By Hoshi-ni-Onegai

"What about this one Sou-chan?" Kaoru gestured towards the kimono she was holding in her arms.

After leaving McD's Kaoru, Soujiro, and Kenshin headed over to Soujiro's house to pick up Kaoru's homongi. Upon arriving there, they had to make a decision on which one she should wear that year. Kaoru's mother had left her some that she had used when she was alive, so Kaoru had variety.

"I think that one will suit you very nicely Kaoru." Kenshin voiced his opinion. The kimono Kaoru was holding was deep red with a simple but beautiful pattern of white plum blossoms on it.

Kaoru blushed at Kenshin's comment.

"I agree but I think this one will look better on you Kao-chan." Soujiro was gesturing towards a light green one with designs of black, red, and yellow folding fans embroidered upon it.

"I disagree, I think the red one would be better." Kenshin said.

"This one is more becoming for Kao-chan." Soujiro replied with his grin still on his face.

Kenshin gave an irritated plastered smile and, "The red goes with her very well."

"But this one is more her color." Soujiro replied, his usually eternal patience seemed to be slipping slightly as he spoke through his teeth.

"Who wears green on New Year's? Red is considered lucky in China." Kenshin gritted out.

"China. . . we're in Japan the last time I checked. Red is much to vibrant for winter, she needs a more tranquil green."

"Yeah, a puke green."

"And you desire a blood red."

That comment made Kenshin's own blood freeze. There were far too many memories in his head of bad events concerning blood. Kaoru who had been ignoring the argument had not caught what Soujiro said but came forth and spoke up. "How about this one?"

The Kimono she laid out was navy blue with white prints of cranes flying. The two males looked at the kimono speechless. That was until they both spoke, "It looks like a tomesode." (tomesode is a kimono worn by married women at celebratory evens such as weddings. Usually they are black with a family crest)

"Really?" Kaoru looked over the kimono again, "It's blue you know. . . but I guess you guys are right, it does look kind of like a tomesode. . . so which one should I take?"

"Anyone is better than that one." They both said in unison. They blinked and looked at each other and broke out laughing.

"And here we were arguing about that Kao-chan should choose when she has worst taste then us."

"I do not have bad taste!" Kaoru protested.

"I would much rather see her in that green one then the one she chose!" Kenshin was rolling on the ground laughing along with Soujiro.

"Kenshin!"

"AHAHAHAHA!" Tears were coming out of both their eyes now and Kaoru couldn't help but wonder if the situation was really all that funny.

"You guys are no help! I might as well asked Sano for advice about this." Kaoru threw her hands up in the air.

"Sorry Kao-chan." Soujiro was trying desperately to stop laughing, "Maybe you should ask my mother on which one to choose."

"Fine, I'll do that." Kaoru stood, picking up the green and the red kimono carefully in her arms. She went up to the fusuma and stood there not knowing how to open it with her hands full, "Uh. . . guys? A little help?" (fusuma is a sliding door that is made out of wood and paper)

Kenshin stood up and slid the fusuma open for her, "There you go."

"Thanks." Kaoru scurried out of the room and down the hall. Kenshin watched till her, until she turned the corner and went out of sight. He stood at the fusuma, after a pause, he slid it shut.

"She's brave you know." Soujiro suddenly said into the silence.

Kenshin turned around, "Who is?"

"Kao-chan."

"Why do you say that?"

Soujiro looked at the tomesode that Kaoru had left out and fingered the printed cranes. "Did you know this belonged to her mother? Kaoru only owns homongi and tomedode's because of that. For a girl as young as she is, she should be wearing furisode's. . . when we offered to buy one for her when she was little she said no, that she was happy with what she had." (Furisode is a formal kimono with long sleeves worn by unmarried young women on for example Coming-of-Age Day)

". . ." Kenshin didn't know how to respond. Was Soujiro telling him this as to not point that out to her when she returned or was there a deeper meaning?

"We asked her every year but she refused every year. She lived with us for eight years, but she always seemed a bit detached from the family. She never fully let herself be submerged within the Seta residence. She still calls my mother `Setsuko-san' and my father `Soushi-san.' She always wears a mask."

"A mask?" The red-haired teen asked curiously.

"Yes, a mask. As you have noticed Kao-chan acts a bit weird sometimes, as if she's on a sugar high, but that not the real her. . . To honestly say I don't think I have ever really met the real her. She acts happy and cheerful, as if the world is the most beautiful place for her. In reality, she is hurting so much inside." Soujiro shook his head and brought his right hand up to finger it through his hair, "She would never show you that though. Kao-chan can't let other people see her struggle, she doesn't want to burden everyone with her problems. So instead of facing her own inner demons she helps others tackle theirs. I guess it could be a defense mechanism to her past, I'm not sure."

A pregnant silence fell upon the two, neither of them making a move to say anything. The silence ended when the fusuma opened with a smiling Kaoru.

"Sorry, but could you guys wait a little while longer? Setsuko-san is helping me with tying the obi. . . Actually, Kenshin, you can go home if you like. There's nothing keeping you here. Sou-chan has to stay because he lives here, but I don't want to burden you by making it seem as though you have to stay." (obi is the belt/sash thing that goes around a person's waist when wearing a kimono, the ties for it are usually very intricate and difficult to tie)

When Kaoru used the word `burden' Soujiro gave Kenshin a knowing glance, with that look Kenshin had more questions that needed to be answered. "That's okay Kaoru, I'll stay. I don't want you walking alone."

"But. . ."

"Also, you're the reason for me to come here and so you will be the reason for me to stay." Kenshin smiled gently at her as she blushed.

She returned the smile, said her thanks, and left to go back down the hall. Once again Kenshin slid the fusuma shut and turned around to meet eyes with Soujiro. "Misao once told me that everyone has a story with Kaoru. Will you tell me yours?"

"Of course."

***************************** Flashback/Story Mode******************************

~Soujiro POV~

The first time I met Kao-chan was when I was eight years old at the orphanage. She had been in there for two weeks already, and from what I had been told, she had yet to speak. The death of her two parents came as large blow to her, as would any death to a small child. My mother went in to talk to her first, telling her that she was the legal guardian, as stated in the will of her parents. Being the ever curious eight year old, I went inside to see what was taking them. What I saw when I stepped through that door will forever be etched in my mind forever.

There sat at the edge of a metal-framed bed, a young girl with raven hair and azure eyes. Eyes, that should have been vibrant with happiness, but glazed over as if the body was an empty shell. They held so much sadness that a person her age shouldn't have known or experienced. I tentatively made my way towards her when my mother noticed me, "Soujiro. . . Kaoru-chan, I would like for you to meet my son, Soujiro. I'm sure you two will get along very well. . ."

Trying to soothe the young girl I calmingly answered, "Of course we will mother."

At first I didn't know what to do, so I decided to do what the foreigners did so often on TV, I extended out my hand. She didn't take it at first, maybe she doesn't watch that much TV? "Hello Kamiya-san, it is very nice to meet you. I'm sure we can be very good friends if not the best."

What surprised me was when her distant eyes now focused on me. My breath was taken away when the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen were looking at me, but what nagged me was that it still held so much pain. She started moving her mouth, but she didn't voice anything. I heard my mother gasp behind me, I smiled widely. Maybe I had gotten through to her when no one else could. "Kamiya-san, you're going to have to speak up for me to hear you." I urged her, just to give her confidence, but I didn't want to push.

When I heard her voice it was barely above a whisper, and much like her eyes they held much pain. "I already have a best friend."

Not exactly what I was expecting, but then again what was I expecting? I knew she wouldn't cry for joy with a heartfilled `woohoo.' Then I remembered what made myself to believe. The way I acted around others as not to worry them, as not to cause more pain. "Kamiya-san, there is no limit in how many best friends a person can have. If there was a limit, that shows a person with a small heart that is unable to take many people in. However, Kamiya-san, I can see it in your eyes that you have a very large heart. That is why you keep yourself from crying, so as not to show people that it hurts, so people don't worry about you and take pity on you. You remind me of some one I know, another person that refused to let other see them cry, another person that refused others to enjoy his pain."

"Who?"

"Me, Kamiya-san, me. Don't be afraid, a person needs to cry, to help ease the pain. A person needs someone that they can cry with. . . will you be that person for me Kamiya-san?" I had been alone all this time, crying in the corner of my room as I returned from another day at school. At that moment I decided that she was going to need me as much as I was going to need her.

I didn't exactly know what she would say, but I was hopeful. She just stared at me with those eyes more a long moment until tears started flowing from her eyes. They streamed down her cheek as they landed on her white shirt, living little wet spots where ever they hit. She didn't blink, but unlike before, she saw. She saw me there standing, arms outstretched, and waiting. Suddenly she lunged into my arms and began to cry. These were tears that she was hesitant and unwilling to share with anyone. The fact that she did with me made my heart swell. I had fallen for this sad little angel. I could here her song of sadness as it echoed down the hall of the orphanage, and I gripped my hug a little bit tighter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was sadly mistaken if I thought that she would be talking to me from that moment on. Even after a month of living with us, she was still very quiet; only talking when spoken to and always answering with a yes or a no.

"What is your favorite color Kamiya-san?" I asked her as we were folding origami in the living room.

She didn't say anything, but she did point to an origami sheet that was sky blue.

"Your favorite color is blue? It matches your eyes." She gave a slight smile at my comment, and I returned it with the widest smile that my face would permit. "Mine is green. . . What do you want to make with yours?"

Again she didn't say anything, but she started folding. After a few minutes of folding on her part and observing on mine, she showed me a pinwheel.

"That very nice Kamiya-san." I suddenly got an idea and left, when I returned I came back with a pencil that had an eraser on the end and a thumbtack. I gestured for her to give it to me, and when she did, I pinned the pinwheel onto the pencil. I blew into and it started to spin. That's when I heard it, a sound I had wanted to hear. She giggled. I passed it to her to blow into it and she took it hesitantly, but after awhile she began to blow. When it began spinning, she giggled repeatedly. While she was submerged in her temporary bubble of security, I just watched her. She looked like any other girl her age should look like: carefree and laughing. Not as if she had the weight of the world upon her shoulders.

After that afternoon in the living room she began to show her emotions even more. She smiled, laughed, got angry, pouted, and cried; however, she had yet to say anything since that one phrase at the orphanage.

Then came the first day of school. My family and I had moved to Tokyo from Kofu when we took Kaoru in. Since my father was a writer, he said that he could do that anywhere, my parents decided it would be easier for Kaoru if we moved to Tokyo.

Kaoru and I stepped through our second grade class room together. She was afraid, I was a afraid, we were afraid together. We leaned on each other. I was never one to immediately make friends, I usually shied away from people. Kaoru on the other hand was different. Even with her not talking, some kids took right to her, one of them being Sano. He liked her immediately, something about her short temper; they became fast friends. I felt like I was being left behind. Kaoru always ate lunch with me and played with me at recess, but I felt like I was losing her. Don't get me wrong, I was happy she was making friends, it just. . . I wish I could be there with her.

I'm not sure why but I was always picked on. The other boys in the class would mock me and call me names. While Kaoru's or Sano's back was turned they would push me down, then point and laugh that I had fallen. I never really understood why it was me that got picked on, but it was better me than Kaoru.

That all changed one day at recess. . .

The whole class was playing a game of tag and one of the boys that usually picked on me was `it.' Let's just say that he tagged a bit to hard for a nice friendly game. Naturally, I fell and scraped my knee, but I refused to cry. The boy just stood over me laughing and pointing. I just smiled, I noticed over the year that most people give up if you smile instead of cry.

"Look at the dumby! He fell down AGAIN! You're so stupid Sejiro! Ahahaha!" About five boys gathered around me and started to chant, "Stupid Sejiro! Stupid Sejiro!"

Who was come to my rescue but the sad little angel.

"His name is Soujiro! You're the one that's stupid if you mess up his name!" Kaoru stood in front of me, shielding me from the harsh words the boys were spitting at me.

The boy that had pushed me down laughed, "Now you're getting your girlfriend to defend you?! You're such a loser! Stupid SEJIRO!"

Kaoru lunged at the boy and punched him in the nose, "His name is Soujiro and he's MY brother!!!"

That day, the school called my parents to report the incident that occurred at recess, and that Kaoru had misbehaved. My parents didn't care what the school said, they were proud that she had defended me like a true sibling would and that she had finally talked.

After that day she began to talk on a relatively normal basis. She even started acting really cheerful. The three of us, being: Sano, Kaoru, and me, always hung out together. In the third grade Aoshi joined us and in chuugaku ichinen (7th grade) Misao came along. Through this time Kaoru always bubbling with joy and enthusiasm. She seemed hyper at the oddest time, but people just like her even more for that. But I knew that wasn't her. When she thought no one was looking I could see her put down that mask and the sadness in her eyes were evident, the same sadness that I saw at the orphanage. Even after so many years, the wound was still fresh. It wasn't even a scar to prove as a reminder, the wound just never started healing. To have come to think of it, Kaoru never really confronted her past. She just shoved it all in a little box and closed the lid tightly.

When she got into high school, she said she wanted to live on her own, that she was sorry to have burdened my family for so long. My mother didn't want her to move out, Kaoru was the daughter that she never had. My father loved spoiling her, and I. . . well, I guess I lost my sister. I was hesitant to let her leave, because I thought maybe when she was alone with a lot of time to think, her inner demons would finally catch up to her. The first months of high school I visited her constantly. Stopping by right after practice, or just swinging by on a Sunday. At one point she figured out what I was doing.

"Sou-chan, you don't have to check up on me all the time. I'll be fine." She smiled her practiced smile and said, "Kamiya Kaoru is not one to give up."

***************************** End Flashback/Story Mode******************************

"A year later you came along, and I think she is slowly facing her past." Soujiro let out a sigh, but not of sadness or exasperation. It was more of a sigh of relief. He looked up at Kenshin that was still standing in front of the fusuma. "Do you know who Sigmund Freud is?"

"The famous shrink?" (psychologist)

"Yeah. . . he said that a person's behaviors is greatly impacted by what memories they have in the first five to six years of their lives."

Kenshin looked at Soujiro defensively, "Are you trying to say that all the shit that is occurring to Kaoru is my fault? That all the pain that she goes through happened because I knew her? Know her?"

Soujiro shook his head and smiled sadly at the ground, "No, that's not it at all. I'm trying to say that since you were a large part of her childhood, that you could help her." He looked up at Kenshin and locked eyes, "Do what I couldn't do. Help Kaoru face her past. Don't push her, take her hand and guide her one step at a time."

Kenshin averted his gaze to the closed fusuma that Kaoru had left out of, "Ippo zutsu." (translation: a step at a time)

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A/N: Yup, Okita Soushi is Soujiro's father in this fic. I was going to make it Soujiro's lost twin, but then I thought that this fic already has way to much death.

CheesieCake: Thank you for reading my fanfic, and sacrificing your eyes to read all 21 chapters at once! I do that a lot, too! I'm happy to see that I'm not alone in that habit~!

Rkfanatic: uh. . . I don't have a website. . . I'm sorry. . . I plan to make one with all my sketches but that won't be on for LONG time. . .

~sTrAwBeRrY~: Hola chica! Cuando yo he visto que tu me han dejado un `review' me quede estático! Porque aprendí que tú eres Chilena y hablas el Español! No soy de Sur América, pero hablo el Español porque mi madre es Española. Yo nací en Japón, y mi padre es Japonés. Por culpa de eso mi Español, algunas veces salen un poco mal. Sin embargo, me encanta la lengua, porque de verdad también es mi lengua nativa. Espero verte en los siguientes capítulos! Hasta luego!

Azura Dea: I have no idea how much longer in chapter wise this will be but in my mind i think it is coming to an end. . . the thing is i think the the climax is going to take a coupld chapters. . .

Ruriko2: yup, my name did change, it was because after having it for 7 months i noticed i left out a H. . . yes, stupid me. . .

Someone: OCC means Off Original Character. Meaning that the characters don't act like they would in the anime, off character.

Update already: sorry about yelling at you the other day, I was in a bad mood b/c of all the homework. -_-;

Beriath: I hope this chapter answered Kaoru's unusual behavior.

Aryanne: I luved ur review! I laughed at your comment about the idea of a story on triplets, if you ever write it plz tell me!

Thank you to the following reviewers: Karen, Neptune21, Billabong Bob, Ame Kurayami, Hellfire, the Blood Red Rose, erica, sayiangohan16 (only male to be reading my fic, I luv ya!), Ariel, Leigh4, omochi, Punky1, pushpitake, LilInuyashaMunky, flyinangel777, CurlsofSerenity, SVZ, and Miss Battousai.

Eveyone: Thank you all for understand the pain in the ass AP classes can become. I appreciate everyone's patience! I'm not sure when the next chappie will come out but I also have another fic to write. . . well until next time!