Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ To Love You Again ❯ Don't go ( Chapter 7 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Sorry for the delay. A lot of things happened in my life and I'm still getting used to everything. That's why I haven't written in so long. I hope you can forgive me.

This chapter is for Jo-chan.

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. In a perfect world, maybe I could own it. I know, the world isn't perfect.

To Love you Again

7. Don't go

'Dreams are always strange. They don't follow a logic... Well, at least they don't follow the same logic as when we are awake. Maybe what makes these dreams so strange is the fact that they have a logic...

' "I don't want Battousai to stay!! I want you, the rurouni, to stay..." Is this my voice? Echoing through my dreams... Begging him not to leave me alone again? I've been alone for so long. I don't want to be alone anymore. It's sad, but I don't want to tell him that. I don't want him to stay out of pity.

' "If you really want to go, leave... But at least tell me your name. Or you don't even want that?" I heard the door closing.

'I'm sad that he's leaving... Hurt, broken... I don't even know his name. Memories need names... Otherwise they become just dreams that we can't remember well.'

"Are you okay?"

Kaoru looked up, so their eyes would meet. He seemed worried about her. Always worried.

"I was just thinking about a dream." Kaoru smiled.

Kenshin smiled at her.

"Otou-san! Come on!" Yahiko called.

Kenshin sighed and moved forward. Kaoru followed him at a small distance. She was trying to remember the dream she had that night, but the memory always slipped away.

"Why does she have to come with us?" Yahiko asked, glaring back at the young woman who was following them from a short distance.

Kenshin glanced back to see if she had heard what Yahiko had said. Her eyes seemed lost and she had a concerned expression on her face. 'She didn't hear him, but something is bothering her.' Kenshin stopped and reached out a hand for her.

"Don't stay behind, Kaoru."

She smiled a little and walked closer to him, but didn't take his hand. 'It's impossible to know what she is thinking.' Kenshin thought, worried. 'Maybe she didn't want to come at all.'

"Don't you like amusement parks, Kaoru?" Kenshin asked.

Waking from her daydream, Kaoru's smile became broader.

"I used to like, when I was a little girl." She replied.

"Sorry for making you come." Kenshin said in a low voice. "I had promised Yahiko and I didn't want you to stay home by yourself."

"It's okay. I'm having a good time."

"It doesn't seem like it."

Kaoru didn't reply, she just smiled. 'I should at least pretend I'm having fun. But it's hard to, when you have to keep looking over your shoulder all the time to see if there isn't anybody after you. It seems that I'm hating crowds nowadays. It shouldn't be this way. It's harder to spot a person in a crowd than alone in a street.

'It's nice to watch all these families together. Parents buying balloons and cotton-candies. It reminds me of the time I really had a family. When I was a kid... But I'm not a kid any more. I can't expect things to go back the way they were. I have to face my problems. I shouldn't be thinking of how things should be, I must see them the way they are.'

Kenshin put a hand on Yahiko's shoulder. His other hand reached for her arm, but only manage to get a hold of her wrist. Kenshin thought that wasn't a good way to hold her to keep her close, and casually let his hand slide down and hold hers.

'This feels a bit like family...' Kaoru thought. 'Yahiko seems like a little brother and Kenshin...' She looked at him for a moment. 'I don't see him like a brother... And he is too young for me to look at him as a father. He is an attractive man, but I don't feel uncomfortable when I'm near him. I like the feeling of his hand in mine. It's like they belong together... Just like in my dreams'

"Where do you want to go next?" Kenshin asked Yahiko.

"The roller coaster."

Kaoru shuddered. "I'll wait for you down here."

Against his will, Kenshin let go of her hand.

"I will wait there, near the telephones." Kaoru pointed to the phones.

"But don't go anywhere." Kenshin told her. He was actually afraid of coming back and not finding her. It was always hard to find a lost person in a crowd.

"Yes, sir." Kaoru said, doing a salute. Kenshin couldn't help but laugh.

"We will come back soon." Kenshin said, allowing Yahiko to pull him towards the roller coaster.

Kaoru watched them disappear into the crowd. She knew that they would be away for a while. When she saw the phones, she had the idea of calling Misao. She was her best friend and Kaoru had forgotten to call her. Misao would be probably mad at her, for not telling her what was happening. Nevertheless...

Kaoru dialed the number and waited until a familiar voice answered.

"Misao-chan? " Kaoru asked.

"Kaoru-chan?! Where are you? Do you know how much you worried me?! "

"Gomen nasai." Kaoru murmured. "I didn't want to get you involved."

"What is going on? The rooster head didn't tell me anything!"

Kaoru's heart was pounding. 'Sanosuke...'

"Did you talk to him? " Kaoru's voice sounded worried.

"He is looking for you. He asked me to give you a phone number if I talked to you. Wait a second I'll get that for you."

Kaoru looked for something where she could write down the number, but there wasn't anything she could use. She would have to rely on her memory. Misao came back and gave her the number.

"Is everything okay with you, Kaoru-chan? " Misao asked.

"I'm okay." Kaoru answered.

"Where are you?"

"I'm staying at a friend's house... You don't know him."

"He is not some kind of pervert, is he? " Misao worried.

"No... " Kaoru turned red. What kind of question was that? Would it be inconceivable to think that a person could help other without having second intentions? "I need to go, Misao-chan. " "Kaoru-chan! Wait! What if I need to speak with you? "

"I will call. Please, don't try to find me. It's too dangerous. Talk to you later, Misao-chan. "

"Kaoru-chan! Please, don't forget to call! Oh! Happy birthday! I know that it is just in three days, but... I don't think I will get to speak with you until then."

"Thank you. Take care, Misao-chan. " Kaoru hang up and took a deep breath. 'Sanosuke is alive!' She hummed, while dialing the number Misao had given her. There was no answer. 'Where could he be? Is this the right number? At least I know he's alive.'

Kaoru tried again, but didn't get any answer and gave up. Finally, she went back to the place where she should be waiting for Kenshin and Yahiko. While approaching, she noticed that the two were already there. Kenshin looked around, with a concerned expression on his face.

"Kenshin!" She called, waving.

His face relaxed, when he heard her voice and saw her waving to him. 'Don't scare me like this, Kaoru...' He mentally begged and, unconsciously, he made the promise of never taking his eyes away from her.

"You weren't here." He said, lowering his head, so that his bangs hid his eyes.

"I had to..." Kaoru thought if she should lie or not. "I called a friend. Sorry for not being here."

Kenshin lifted his head to look her in the eyes. His eyes begged her to not do it again. Kaoru gave him a smile that meant: 'I'm not going anywhere without telling you first'.

"I'm hungry." Yahiko ruined the moment.

"Let's go." Kenshin said.

***

"What's wrong?" Kenshin asked, as they sat in the awaiting room of Megumi's clinic.

Kaoru seemed edgy and nervous... Perhaps a bit too nervous. There were parents with their kids in the room. Kaoru felt like an oversized child, afraid of needles. She sighed deeply.

"You don't like doctors, do you?" Kenshin asked.

"Oh, I like doctors. I just dislike this woman."

Kenshin smiled, trying his best to look goofy when he did it. He always pretended to be clueless to his son's pediatrician.

"Miss Kamiya? The doctor will see you now." The secretary called.

Kaoru got up.

"Aren't you going to come with me?" Kaoru asked, when Kenshin made no move to follow her. She gave her best puppy dog eyes, begging him to come with her. Kenshin had no choice but comply.

"Oh, Ken-san! How are you?" Megumi rushed to Kenshin, completely ignoring Kaoru.

"Fine, Megumi-san. I've brought Kaoru to remove her stitches."

"So, you are baby-sitting his tanuki girl..."

"Who are you calling tanuki??" Kenshin had to physically restrain Kaoru.

"Hohohohohoho! What a violent tomboy!"

"Maa maa..." Kenshin was trying to calm Kaoru down.

"So, Ken-san... When are we going to have that drink?"

"Oro..." Kenshin muttered. "I'll call you."

Megumi smiled brightly, as if she meant to say to Kaoru: 'see? I've won.'

Kaoru bit her lower lip in distress.

"So, let's take these stitches off fast. I don't have all day." Megumi said, beginning to work on Kaoru's arm.

"Itai! That hurts!" Kaoru yelled.

"Stop whining... You are such a baby!"

"I'm not!"

"Are too!"

"You are doing it on purpose!"

"Oro..."

'Shouting women are scary...' Kenshin thought, a huge sweat-drop forming itself on his head.

"Stop moving! You are making this harder!"

"How can I stop if you keep hurting me?!"

"There. It's done. See? It wasn't that bad!" Megumi said.

"That bad my ass! You almost ripped my arm off!"

"Maa maa... It's okay now Kaoru-dono. I'm sure Megumi-san didn't mean to hurt you." Kenshin said, placing a hand on Kaoru's shoulder. "Arigatou, Megumi-san."

"Thank you, Takani-sensei." Kaoru said, between her teeth.

"Don't forget to call..." Megumi said melodically, batting her eyelashes at Kenshin.

Kaoru pulled Kenshin by his sleeve, trying to get him as far from that woman as she could.

So... That was it. The stitches were taken off. The reason why Kenshin was insisting in keeping her at his home was gone.

"Would you like to eat something?" Kenshin asked, when they arrived at the parking lot.

"I'm not really hungry."

There was something wrong in her voice. She sounded somewhat sad. Kenshin thought it was best not to ask.

"Let's go home, then..." He said.

***

'Let's go home... Did he notice how cruel were those words? The time I spent here, with him... Pretending to be part of the family... Pretending this was my home. It's all over now. It's time to return to the real world... and be alone again?'

Kaoru sighed and sat on the sofa. Kenshin had noticed how quiet she was in the car. He also didn't feel like speaking. The thoughts that crowed his mind weren't very clear and he knew she was the reason why his thoughts were so confused.

"I'll go back to work tomorrow." Kaoru murmured. She didn't think he could hear her.

"Oyasumi, Kaoru." Kenshin said, going to his room. Suddenly, he wasn't hungry anymore. He just felt like being alone and thinking.

He had heard what Kaoru had said. Her words felt like cold water on his skin. Kenshin fell down on his bed, without caring to get undressed. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

'One of those dream again. I was in a dojo, the same girl as always was in front of me. For some reason, she reminded me Kaoru... I was turning to leave... My heart was tight in my chest, because I didn't want to leave and never see her again.

'It's so strange... I hardly knew her, but even so, every step I took was filled with pain. I walked slowly, trying to delay that moment for as long as I could. I knew that in the second I walked through that door, there was no turning back. I would be condemned to wander alone forever... Without ever really getting close to someone. I wished, with all my strength, that something stopped me.

' "Wait!" She yelled. My eyes were wide. Was it possible that she didn't want me to go? Her uncertain voice asked me to stay. My heart was happy, but even so I had to give her a chance to change her mind. I told her that it wouldn't be good for her if I stayed. Once more I wished. I wished she would insist for me to stay. She said she would like me to stay. Not Battousai, but the rurouni.

'She was shy... She only realized what she said after saying it and turned her back at me. I knew she would be blushing. She told me that if I would still go, she would like to know my name. I smiled to myself. My heart was joyful. Silently, I made the promise to protect her.

'I'll never forget the look on her face when she realized I wouldn't leave...'

'Someone once told me that dreams have meanings. I wonder what mine want to tell me. I got up. There was no way I could go back to sleep. My feet took me where I wanted to go, even though I didn't know I wanted to go there. I stopped in front of her door and pushed it open carefully.

'She was sighing and moving in her sleep. The other night I had watched her sleep and she seemed so calm and peaceful. Maybe this time she was having a nightmare. A strange thought came to my mind: could she be feeling the same way I did?

'My heart was tight... The thought that she would be away, too far for me to protect her, it was making me sick. A week... Just one week... What difference a week could make? All the difference in the world.

'She belongs here... She belongs where I can see her. Where I can protect her from anything and anybody, including myself. It's not attraction. It's deeper. It is as if my soul needed hers.

'If I let her go, I might never have her back. I can't afford to take this chance. I can't.'

"Kenshin?"

'Baka... She is awake. Now what?'

"Is something wrong?" 'She insisted, sitting on her bed. I came closer.'

"I couldn't sleep. Sorry for waking you up" 'I said, hoping that she wouldn't think that I had second intentions.'

"I couldn't sleep either."

'How can I tell her this?'

"Tomorrow you'll go back to work..." He said, as if it was actually a question.

"Hai. Don't worry. Tomorrow morning I'll take my things back to the Akabeko." Kaoru said in a low tone of voice.

"Maybe... You would like to stay..." Kenshin suggested, using the same tone as she.

"I couldn't... impose on you like this..."

"No. I would like you to stay. I think I got used to have someone here. It would be lonely if you went away."

"Honto ka?"

Kenshin nodded.

"I don't have how to repay you..." Kaoru said.

"You can help with the house chores." Kenshin suggested. "What do you say?" 'Please say yes... Stay.'

"For now... Until I find some place else to live. Some place I can afford."

"Arigatou" Kenshin said. "Oyasumi nasai, Kaoru."

Kaoru lied down. 'Why did he thank me? He is doing me a favor.' She closed her eyes. It felt calmer now. The thought of going back to the Akabeko was making her depressed. She fell asleep with a smile on her face.

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TBC
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Than ks Isabel and Kathie for making this readable... It was a bitch to translate this chapter (it's the last time I write the chapter in Portuguese first!). By the way! Before you start saying 'this is not what they said', please notice that I used the Brazilian version of the manga to write those dreams.

English is not my first language, so don't go so hard on me!