Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ What You Don't Know ❯ Chapter 10 - Dawn ( Chapter 10 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin

 

 

 

Chapter 10 - Dawn

 

Kaoru jerked awake in the darkness, sweating and choked from her dreams. They were full of grasping hands, evil laughs, and cruel pain. The panic and fear that pervaded her dreams before were now magnified with the terror of her abuse. Shaking hands clutched at her chest as her heart pounded.

 

Kenshin. She needed Kenshin.

 

Kaoru stumbled to her feet, leaning heavily against the wall for support. She still felt weak, and hadn't had the desire to eat.

 

The sky was still black, with late stars dotting the view. It was quiet and still, soft sounds murmuring from the other bedrooms. Kaoru made her slow way down the engawa, Kenshin the only thing on her mind.

 

She covered her mouth to hold back a sob when she reached the open door of his room. It was empty, devoid of his presence. He still hadn't returned.

 

Still holding in her tears, Kaoru stumbled to the dojo, her refuge. Once inside, she collapsed in front of her father's memorial, shaking and crying. The images of the dream haunted her, and the memories of the reality made her feel worse. Over and over, she felt Kenshin's stiff hands push her into Sano's arms, his cold voice chilling and frightening.

 

What if he never came back? But he'd kissed her, and held her.

 

But that was before. . .

 

Kaoru looked up blearily, moonlight glinting off the wakizashi in front of her father's shrine.

 

Kenshin already had so many burdens. Why should she be one more?

 

Drawing her knees under her, she reached pale fingers towards the smooth weapon. The sheath dropped to the floor with a clatter, and she stared at the hypnotic play of light shining on the blade in front of her. She looked with fascination at the sharp edge.

 

Would it hurt? Did it matter?

 

Footsteps dimly reached her ears. Kaoru paused.

 

“Kaoru?”

 

Kenshin. Was she dreaming?

 

“Kaoru, what are you—” She heard a sharp intake of breath. “Kaoru. . .”

 

She couldn't look at him. She didn't want to see the look in his eyes.

 

“I'm sorry, Kenshin. I. . .” her voice broke, “understand if you want to leave.”

 

The air was still, broken only by the sounds of their breathing. Her statement hung heavy between them.

 

“What? Kaoru, I don't understand—”

 

“Those men, I-I'm not your pure Kaoru-dono anymore. I'm tainted.” She sobbed, wakizashi trembling in her hands, bringing it closer to her pale skin.

 

A slight burst of air ruffled the wisps of hair loose from her braid, and his scent surrounded her. Warm but firm hands took hers, and the blade dropped to the floor beside them. His arms enfolded her, soft red hair spilling down her front like a waterfall as he leaned over her shoulder. He held her tightly, a tremble running through his form. He rocked her silently for several long moments.

 

His voice murmured like a prayer into her ear.

 

“Kaoru, nothing that those men did could taint you. You are pure and good, and this one does not deserve you.”

 

Tears came anew, this time with relief. Kaoru dared to hope that he was going to stay.

 

“B-but you l-left me,” she intoned through shuddering breaths. “I n-needed you here.”

 

His arms tightened around her more, hands griping her yukata. A drop of moisture landed on her neck.

 

“You looked so fragile,” he whispered, “and this one was so angry. This one wanted to kill the men that did this to you. This one. . . I thought I would hurt you further by being exposed to my rage.”

 

Kaoru turned in his embrace, desperate to drink him in with her eyes. He picked her up and sat back, cradling her closely in his arms. She took in his anguished eyes and the dirt and scrapes on his face. He lifted a hand to cup her cheek gently, rough thumb wiping wetness from the bruised skin.

 

“Kaoru,” he said, voice laced with shame, “please forgive me for causing you to doubt me. I don't think I could survive if you were taken from me forever.”

 

Kaoru laced her arms around his neck and drew him closer. He was here, and was still hers. One hand held her to him gently, the other rubbing soothing patterns over her back. She inhaled deeply, taking in his scent. Mixed among the sweat and dirt was the comforting sandalwood and soap smell of him. This was what she needed to heal her heart.

 

Another scent drifting past caused her to pull away.

 

“Kenshin, are you hurt? I smell blood.”

 

Kenshin smiled ruefully.

 

“The blood is not mine.”

 

“Did you—”

 

“This one still does not kill, even though I was sorely tempted.”

 

Kaoru settled back into his embrace, relieved he wasn't hurt.

 

“What happened?”

 

“Saito narrowed the locations down very quickly based on your description. We caught up to the main caravan before they reached the strategic bridge. All but a few were taken into custody.”

 

Kaoru smiled a little, happy that she aided in their capture.

 

“I made sure the men from the river were among those taken. They will not harm you again.”

 

Kaoru nestled closer into him. The grim satisfaction in his voice spoke volumes to the price the men paid for angering him.

 

“And the European?”

 

“I do not know. Saito went ahead to capture the remaining wagon. He believed the foreigner was part of that group.” He looked down at her. “I wanted to get back to you, so once the main fighting was over, I left.” His arms embraced her again, feeling like he was trying to meld her body to his.

 

After a long while, Kaoru felt her eyes drooping. Kenshin's presence was a balm to her tattered soul, and the exhaustion of the last several days began to show itself.

 

Strong arms lifted her, carrying her smoothly down the hall and into her room. He set her down on the futon and carefully brought the covers over her. She grabbed his sleeve as he moved to pull away.

 

“Stay,” she said, “please.”

 

“Always,” he replied, placing a tender kiss on her forehead. He settled back against the wall next to her head, sakabato resting against his shoulder, hand in hers.

 

Kaoru fell asleep, untroubled by dreams.