Saber Marionette Fan Fiction ❯ Love Thy Neighbor ❯ Love Thy Neighbor ( One-Shot )

Love Thy NeighborLove Thy Neighbor
A Saber Marionette J Fan Fiction
by
Lady Aoi


Summary: Otaru decides to lend Hanagata a helping hand.
Rating: PG-13 for mild shonen-ai, a little violence, and Hanagata's singing
Spoilers: None (for once -_-;)
Disclaimer: The idea that I own these characters is like the idea that I own Mars.
Lady Aoi's Notes: I know this is cliched. Just read it, laugh/cringe, and move on, ne? Also, "Yoshi"
means happy, and Hanagata's song of the same name is modeled (loosely) after a translation my friend
did of one of his real image songs, "Iyokan".

~*~*~*~*~

"Do I hear 1,010? 1,010 for this lovely specimen? Going once... going twice... Aaaaand....!
Sold! To the gentleman in the green shirt for 1,000 mon! Thank you, sir, for your kind donation!"

The audience applauded politely and murmured enviously as said-beaming gentleman lead an
equally beaming (and not to mention incredibly attractive) gentleman off the stage of the Second Annual
Buy a Bishonen for an Evening Auction for Charity.


"This sucks," Bloodberry said, yawning loudly enough to get a few nasty looks. "Why are we at
this thing again, Otaru?"

"'Cause oni-sama's auctioning himself for a really good cause!" Yumeji replied as earnestly as
he'd done the previous ten times.

"You mean demeaning himself," Otaru murmured, rolling his eyes at the hoards of lonely and
rather unattractive men in the audience. "God, can't you people go get lives?"

"But it's for a realllly good cause!" Yumeji exclaimed, his wide blue eyes widening even more.

"You keep saying that, Yumeji. But exactly what is this good cause?" Cherry asked.

"To help buy food for starving Gartlant children! Isn't that a good cause, Otaru-san?"

Grudgingly, everyone had to admit it was a good cause.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnd, next on our list of lovely bishonen is lot number 23!" the
auctioneer cried as he read from a piece of paper. "Lot 23, could you step out here, please?"

"It's him! It's oni-sama!" Yumeji cried, grabbing Lime's shoulder. "Lime!! Clap with me when
Oni-sama comes out, okay?"

"Lot 23?"

"Demo... I don't see Hannie, Yume-chan."

"Lot 23?"

"Che, what a load of crap," Bloodberry muttered, crossing her arms indignantly over her ample
chest. "A whole afternoon wasted when we could have been cooking and cleaning. Sorry, Otaru, but
I'm gonna go see if they're selling some sake anywhere nearby."

"Uh... Lot....23?"

"Not to mention getting the muck out of the gutters," Cherry added angrily. Then, "Ehhh,
Bloodberry wait for me! You can't go off looking for sake alone! You'll get drunk again."

"Piss off, Cherry."

".... Lot....23....?"

Otaru sighed. "Did your brother wimp out or something?" he asked the younger Hanagata
sibling.

"No, there he is! Look!"

And sure enough, just as the auctioneer was preparing to turn the page to announce the
availability of Lot 24, Hanagata Mitsurugi entered from stage left, grinning broadly and carrying a guitar
over his left shoulder.

"Look, there he is!" Yumeji cried. "YAYYY!!! ONI-SAMA!!!!

Hanagata looked out into the otherwise silent audience and acknowledged his little brother with
a wave.

"He saw me!! Hi Oni-sama!! Good luck in getting money for the children!!" Yumeji cried.
"C'mon Lime! Clap for oni-sama!"

But Lime simply blinked in confusion. "Ano... why's Hannie-chan wearing that funny thing
around his waist?"

"What funny thing?" Otaru asked, looking up from the book he had brought along to keep
himself entertained. "Isn't he wearing what he usually --"

Upon seeing his next door neighbor, however, Otaru turned bright red and then several
interesting shades of blue.

Hanagata stood proudly on stage wearing nothing but his signature lavender bow-tie and a
bright pink loin cloth. And currently he was leaning against his guitar as if it were a cane and smiling
confidently at the spectators with his eyes closed.

"...... uh...." the announcer gulped loudly. "Lot...23, everyone; Hanagata Mitsurugi, aka the
Joshyua Giggolo."

"Ha cha-cha-chaaa!" Hanagata interjected, licking his finger and slapping it against his scantily-
clad rear-end. "Hsssssssss."

The men in the audience merely stared back with various looks of consternation, puzzlement
and bald-faced disgust as Yumeji alone continued to clap and cheer.

"Dear God, please tell me it's just another nightmare," Otaru murmured as he buried his head in
his hands.

"Uh... well, M--mitsurugi," the hapless auctioneer said while mopping the sweat from his
forehead with a long sleeve. "Tell us a little about yours--"

"Thank you," and the microphone squealed in protest as Hanagata wrenched it from the
auctioneer's hands. "Well, I'm a handsome and oh-so manly type of guy who likes long romantic walks
on the beach, French cuisine and those sweet moments of bliss stolen from the lips of my one and only
Otaru-kun."

Otaru turned fifteen shades of red as every eye in the auction hall turned immediately towards
him.

"It's not true!" he cried, waving his arms wildly before him, as if to ward off Hanagata's words.
"I -- I've never kissed him in my life! The only people I've ever kissed are -- are Lime, Cherry and
Bloodberry!!"

"I don't know which is worse, the fact he's doing the Joshyua boy or the fact he's a marionette-
lover."

"Hentai."

"You know, there are groups that can help you overcome your ah... preferences for
Marionettes, Mamiya-kun."

"Ne, Otaru? What's preferences?" Lime asked, merrily oblivious to the full weight of
Hanagata's words.

"Lime, now isn't the time!"

Meanwhile, on stage, Hanagata tapped his foot impatiently as the crowd continued to murmur.
"Ahem! AHEM! AHEM!!!"

"Ano... getting back to the auction!" the auctioneer yelled over the microphone's interference as
he pulled the contraption back to his own lips. "Tell us some more about yourself, Mitsurugi. What sort
of things do you like to d--"

"Well," Hanagata said, wrenching the microphone back towards his own mouth. "I can um...
cook shirataki, drive and best of all --" grinning he grabbed his guitar and strummed a few dissonant
cords. "I can sing!"

"And it looks like you're going to sing us a little something today, right?!" the auctioneer
shouted, pulling the microphone towards himself again.

"That's right!" Hanagata bellowed over the interference as he struggled for control of the
equipment. "This is -- a little song called -- Uhh!! -- called "Yoshi!" that I wrote for --my --
OW!leggoyouoverfedcurr!-- best friend and soulmate, Otaru-kuun!!"

"ONI-SAMA!!!"
"Nani?" Hanagata spun around with enough force to fling the auctioneer back into the podium.
"Oh, Yumeji!!"

"Oni-sama!! Look who I brought!"
"Nuu, I only see one marionette and -- and --" slowly, Hanagata's eyes widened and began to
sparkle in delight as he noticed the figure attempting to sneak quickly away from Yumeji.

"OTARU-KUN!! DON'T GO!! I'm about to perform a ballad about my immortal love for
you!"

"That's exactly why I'm trying to get away," Otaru mumbled, attempting to push past the wall of
men in front of him. "'Scuse me, coming through!"

"Oh no ya don't!"

"But --" Otaru whimpered slightly as two of Hanagata's burly cronies clapped their hands on his
shoulders and turned him around. "Hey!"

"If we have to suffer through this, then so do you, pretty boy!"

"But -- this -- this isn't fair! LIME!"

But the marionette, bored by Hanagata's antics, was on her way out the door after a man
carrying a parrot in a bird cage.

"Pretty, pretty, pretty birrrrrdy!" she sang as the doors closed behind her.

"Lime!!"

"Oh, Otaru-kun... you decided to stay!" Hanagata gushed from on stage.

"Oh like I had a hell of a choice!" Otaru yelled over the suggestive 'oooooohs' and 'aaahs' this
comment brought from the crowd. "Shut up!"

With a wave of Hanagata's hand, however, one of the cronies clapped a huge hand over
Otaru's mouth, hearby muffling the shrieks of protest (mixed with curse words) from the young man."

"Mitsurugi, are you ready to demonstrate your... to perform?" the auctioneer asked, looking
almost ready to collapse from the stress.

"Ready as I'll ever be, chum!" Hanagata exclaimed, pulling his guitar into position and
strumming a few slightly dissonant chords as the hapless auctioneer placed the microphone back into
it's stand."

"This morning, I had a vision," Hanagata murmured as he adjusted the microphone. "A lily
blooming in the field opened it's sun-drenched petals to a blue and whining sky. I fell short of breath.
Thus, this is the only truth; Yoshi."

And as Otaru continued to fight his captors, Hanagata struck up a lively folk melody and began
to sing;

"Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi
He's my maaan.
Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi
As yummy as a Peterburg Haaaaam.
Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi
What is love?
Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi
It's a doooooove!!"

Somewhere out in the stupefied audience, Yumeji began an attempt to clap along to the rhythm.
Within moments, the attempt proved very unsuccessful.

Meanwhile Hanagata continued his song.

"Yoshiii Ohhhh YOOOOOOOSHIIIII
I love some-bu-uh-uhh-dyyyyyyy!!!
Yoooooshiiii YOOOOOOOSHIIIIII!!!"
A window near the back of the auction hall shattered.

"I LU-UH-UH-UHHHHHVE
My little lamb chop!!!"

"LAMB CHOP?!?" Otaru cried. However, due to the hand clamped over his mouth it came
out more as "MMMMPHB CHMMMUFFPB?!?

"AW YEAH!!" Hanagata cried, throwing his head back.

"Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi
I got some body
Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi
Who's as cute as a bu-un-ny!
Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi
Sushi these days is cheep.
Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi
You sew what you rea-ea-eeap!!"

The auctioneer simply stared on, with the same incredulity as the rest of the audience as
Hanagata bounced around the stage repeating the chorus at full volume.

"Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi" Hanagata whispered conspiratorially into the microphone.

"I love somebo-odyy
Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi
He's my little ducky!!
Yoshi yoshi Yoshi Yoshi
I'll tell you soon.
Yoshi Yoshi
My lover-boy's OTARU-KUUUUUUUUN!!!
YEAH!!!"

And with this cry, Hanagata proceeded to jump around the stage bellowing ""Yoshi" at the top
of his lungs as he smashed the scenery with his guitar. The auctioneer (now looking just as shell shocked
as the audience) stared on in disbelief as a few small fires began on stage.

At last, Hanagata leaped into the air screaming "JAPONESU REBORRUTION!!" and
smashed what remained of his guitar against the stage. As every amplifier in the auction hall screeched
with the interference, Hanagata slid across the stage on his knees, both hands held up in victory signs.

"I'M HARDCORE!!!" he bellowed. "AW YEAH!!"

Dead silence met him.

"YAY!!! ONI-SAMA!!!" Yumeji cheered, but now even his clapping seemed to be somewhat
uncertain and rather stunned.

Hanagata remained on his knees, breathing heavily for a few more seconds before he slowly
and calmly climbed back to his feet and bowed respectfully to his audience.

"Ah... WELL now," the auctioneer said, reaching out slowly to take the microphone back. "T--
thank you, Mitsurugi... that was a very.... a VERY -- a very performance. Yes. Ah.... bidding for this....
fine.... specimen... will begin at five mon. Do I hear five?"

The audience remained silent.

"Five mon?"

Yumeji ceased his clapping and looked around nervously.

"Five? Anyone?"

At last, a young man near the back of the hall seemed to find his voice.

"BOO!!" he yelled, jabbing his finger at Hanagata. "Get some REAL men out here!"

His words seemed to awaken the rest of the audience. Within moments, cries of "You suck!",
"Idiot!" and "He broke my glasses!!" echoed through the hall.

"Now gentlemen! Gentlemen!! Don't get upset!" the auctioneer cried. "If someone just bids five
mon we can get him off the stage! For the love of God, don't you want to end this nightmare?!"

"SHUDDUP!" And the auctioneer's eyes crossed painfully as a large shoe sailed from the
audience and smacked him in the middle of the forehead. Taking this one projectile as a sign to rally, the
rest of the audience followed suit, and soon bottles, cans, , and even bits half-eaten food were sent
flying toward the bewildered young man on stage.

"Idiot kid!"

"Go home!"

"Give 'im the hook!"

"Worthless piece of garbage!"

Gasping, Hanagata backed up slightly, shielding his face from flying insults and refuse alike.

"Gentlemen, please! He cried. There's no need for hostility!"

"Oh you want hostility?!" a large and very irritated (and also very drunk) man in the front row
cried, hoisting himself on stage.

"A--ano..." Hanagata whimpered, backing up even more. "D--do you want to bid sir?"

"Shut up!" the man cried, punching the young man. "Just shut up!"

This action seemed to spur other men on and soon the drunk was joined by three other equally
intoxicated men, all of whom seemed to enjoy hitting Hanagata more than the previous man.

"Oni-sama!" Yumeji cried, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Yu--meji!! AHH!!" Hanagata wailed as a fist connected with his stomach. "They're -- get Ot-
-get Otar--ahh!!"

Yumeji didn't wait for his brother to finish the thought. Taking a deep breath the plunged into
the cheering crowd in search of one man.

"Otaru-san!! Otaru-san!!"

Seconds later, the little boy found his quarry (now struggling fiercely against Hanagata's goons).

"Lemme go, you bozos!"

"Oh no ya don't! Your staying right here until you make a bid on Hanagata-sama!"

"Otaru-san!!!"

"Oh yeah!" Otaru yelled, entirely oblivious to the riot going on around him as he screamed at the
two men. "I'll place a bid on him when Hell freezes over!"

"Otaru-san!!"

"You impertinent little --"

"Otaru-san!!" Yumeji shouted, pulling insistently on Otaru's shirt. "You haveta bid on Oni-
sama! They're gonna kill him!"

"Yume-chan, I'm kinda busy with your brother's stupid thugs right now."

"But, Otaru-san! They're killing Oni-sama!"

"Yume-chan, I'm -- huh?" Otaru and the cronies all blinked and turned their attention to the
stage where one of the men was now twirling Hanagata over his head as if the smaller man were a large
baton.

"AHHH!!! OTARU-KUUUUN!! SAVE ME!!!"

"Master Hanagata!" one of the men cried.

"Ahh, forget it," the other said, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. "No sense getting beaten
up for something he'll only yell at us for later."

"You've got a point there," the first man said after a moment, turning around to sneak out with
his friend.

"ET TU PINSKE?!" Hanagata shrieked after them. Both men pretended to ignore him as they
exited the auction hall.

"Heh," Otaru shoved his hands in his pockets and looked away. "It's his own damn fault for
entering this stupid thing, Yumeji!"

"But-- but Otaru-san! He only did it 'cause he wanted to impress you!"

"And as usual, he failed miserably. C'mon, Yume-chan, let's go. He's not gonna die or
anything."

"But -- but --" Yumeji whimpered, looking anxiously back at the stage.

"He'll be fine. Let's go."

"No!" Yumeji cried, yanking on Otaru's shirt. "No way! Unh-unh!"

"Leggo, Yumeji."

"No way!! Oni-sama stayed up all night to get that song perfect for you, Otaru-san!! And he
sang it over and over and over and -- and I had to listen to it!!" Yumeji's face clouded with the memory
for a moment before he sighed. "Can't you just bid on him? Please?"

"Yumeji --"

"Please?" Yumeji whimpered, looking up at him with large, trembling blue eyes.

"No. NO NO NO NO NO!!" Otaru cried, jabbing a finger at Yumeji. "No, you will not guilt
me with those eyes!"

If anything, Yumeji's eyes got even bigger.

"I -- he got himself into this mess! It's not my business!"

Yumeji began to cry. Loudly.

"I-- Yumeji --"

"But-- but what about the hungry Gartlant kids?! You gonna just let them starve cause it's not
your business?!"

Otaru sighed and shoved his hands back into his pockets as he glared out at the crowd. Finally
his eyes turned toward the stage where Hanagata was now being punched repeatedly in the stomach as
two men held him up by each arm.

".... it's for a good cause, right?:

Yumeji's face brightened slightly.

"If it's for a good cause, then I guess I should, huh? No don't answer--" he interrupted as
Yumeji opened his mouth to agree. "I don't want to change my mind later."

Then slowly, grudgingly, he raised his hand.

"Five mon," he said.

The riot continued around him.

"Five mon. Five Mo-ooon! I SAID FIVE MON!!!"

Instantly, the hall became as silent as death.

From the stage, the men stopped their pummeling to stare back out into the audience. "O--ota--
ru--k--un..." Hanagata whimpered, his eyes shining with tears.

"D..did I just hear.. please GOD, did I just hear five mon?" the auctioneer asked, peeking
timidly from around his (now upturned) podium.

"That's right," Otaru said, sighing. "Five mon."

"Uh... do I hear -- dare I say it? Ten mon?"

"Don't push your luck."

"Then sold!" the auctioneer cried, banging his gavel against the podium's side. "To the hero of
Japoness for five mon. Thank you sir. Pay at the desk outside!"

And instantly he collapsed back onto the floor.

"I will never forgive you for this, Yumeji," Otaru muttered darkly as the pair made their way
through the shocked crowd toward the stage.

"I know, but at least we raised money for the kids!"

"Yeah, whatever. Oi, Hanagata! Now's not the time to be lying on the ground! Get up!"

"Nhhhh...."

"Uh, Otaru-san!" one of the drunks said, bowing to the young man as he leaped onto the stage.
"Just...ah... so you know... we didn't really mean to hurt your... uh.... we were just having --"

"Yeah yeah. First of all he isn't my "uh..." and secondly I --"

"You what, Otaru-kun?" Hanagata asked, looking up at his neighbor as the tears spilled down
his bruised and cut face.

"I..." Otaru sighed. "Look, nothing, Hanagata. Let's just go home, ok?" When Hanagata made
no move to comply, Otaru sighed and knelt beside him. "Can you stand?"

"Can't you carry me out?"

"Oh for --" Otaru rolled his eyes. "Fine. Whatever. Just... let's go home, ok?"

Slowly, and with surprising gentleness, Otaru scooped the slight young man into his arms and
stood.

"Awwww," someone in the crowd murmured, as the pair passed on their way to the door.

"Told you he was doin' the Joshyua kid."

"Yeah, yeah, fine. here's your money."

"He really needs to get some help."

"Hentai."

"What is this world coming to?"

~*~*~*~*~

"Mhh... Otaru-kuuuun...." Hanagata murmured as the car sped down the street.

Sighing, Otaru leaned down to shift gears, pushing Hanagata's hand off his thigh for what
seemed like the fifteenth time on their way home . "Hanagata, try that again and so help me, I'm taking
you back to let the crowd finish you off!"

"Shh! Not so loud! You'll wake Yumeji up!" And to annoyance the hand simply returned. "I
owe you my life, you know..."

"And if you don't take your hand away, I'm going to collect on it."

"You're such a tease!" Hanagata said. But he released Otaru's leg, anyway.

"Really, how do you manage to get into so much trouble?"

"I only did it to show you how much I care..."

"By getting on stage wearing next to nothing and singing some god-awful song?" Otaru shouted.

"SHH!! YUMEJI'S SLEEPING!!!"

Otaru sighed, defeated. "Couldn't you have at least gotten dressed again before we left?"

"Technically, yes, but isn't it more... stimulating this way?"

"What the hell do you mean stimulating?!?"

"Otaru-kun," Hanagata murmured, leaning over and turning the ignition off.

"Hanagata?!"

"According to the terms of our contract, you purchased me for a night..." Hanagata purred,
turning slowly around to face Otaru.

"Uh.... so?"

"So, you can do anything you like with me until dawn," Hanagata replied. "Dinner, dancing...
anything. I can't complain or refuse. No. No matter what you want to do."

"And you think I'd want to do what ....?"

"I'm not suggesting anything, of course." Hanagata said, unfastening his seat belt and leaning
slowly forward. "But... under the terms of the contract I'm yours for the night."

"Yeah, you've made that really clear, Hanagata."

"Indeed. Soooo, that means no matter what fantasies you have I have to fulfill them.... if, for
example, you want to...." Hanagata grinned wolfishly. "...to chain me to the wall and ravish me all night,
I have no recourse but to say. 'YES, Otaru-kun!! Oh yes! Yes! More! More! More! MORE YOU
ANIMAL YOU!!!!!!"

"I'm all done now, thank you," Yumeji murmured from the back seat, clapping his hands
together in his sleep.

It took several minutes for Otaru to find his voice. "A--actually, Hanagata," he said, leaning
forward.

"Yes, ..... Otaru-sama....?"

"There is this one fantasy I've been having lately," Hanagata gasped as Otaru's fingers coiled
seductively around his shoulder.

"Y--yes?"

"It involves you getting very down and dirty.... and wearing something short and frilly."

Hanagata practically drooled."I'm listening, Otaru-kuuuuun..."

"And," Hanagata whimpered slightly as Otaru slid his fingers up his neck. "And soapy water, a
sponge, and lots of whipped cream...."

"Mhhhhhhh...."

"But we haveta wait until we get home, ok?"

"H--hai!" Quickly, Hanagata buckled his seat belt and turned the ignition back on. "Can you
wait until then?"

"Otaru-sama," Hanagata cried. "It is not my place to want right now! For tonight, tonight
Otaru-kun, is all about your wants and desires!"

"Oh I'm glad to hear that," Otaru said as they drove off down the street.

~*~*~*~

"WAII!! YUMMY!!" Lime cried, rubbing her stomach. "Gimme some more pie, Hannie-chan!"

Hanagata's right eye began to twitch as he glared back at the marionette. "No! You've had six
helpings of it already!"

"But it tastes so goooooood!!"

"Humph!" Cherry cried, folding her arms and sticking her nose in the air. "It's not nearly as
good as MY apple pie, by any means!"

"OH YEAH?!" Hanagata bellowed, jabbing a finger in the marionette's face.

"Yeah!" she agreed, jabbing one right back. "The crust is all lumpy."

"Lumpy! Lumpy! Lumpy!" Lime sang, giggling at the new word.

"WELL, JUST YOU TRY COOKING A FIVE COURSE DINNER AND THEN WE'LL
SEE HOW YOUR PIE TURNS OUT!!"

"Actually it turns out really good," Otaru said, pushing his plate away. "A lot better than your
pie, in fact."

"Otaru-kun!!" Hanagata cried, dropping to his knees to take the young man by the shoulder.
"No more of this, please!! I beg you!"

"I thought it wasn't your place to complain about whatever I asked you to do tonight,
Hanagata."

"B--b--b--b--but, Otaru-kun!! That was --"

"Before you knew what I was gonna ask?"

"I'm all done, thank you!" Yumeji said. "And yeah, Cherry's pie is way better!"

"That's it!" Hanagata bellowed, ripping off the apron. "I'm going home! What a waste of an
evening!"

"Uh-uh-uh!!" Otaru said, waggling a finger at him. "You still have all those dishes to do,
remember?"

"OTARU-KUUUUUN!!"

"The soap and sponge are in the cabinet to the far right," Bloodberry said. "And yes, Cherry's
pie is better!"

"OTARU-KUN!! ARE YOU GONNA LET YOUR MARIONETTES SASS ME LIKE
THIS ALL NIGHT?"



"You heard her, the stuff's in the kitchen!"

"But Otaru-kuuuuuun!!!"

"HANAGATA PUT THE APRON BACK ON AND GO DO THE DISHES!!"

"Why does this always happen to me?!?"

~ Owari