Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Daddy's Little Boy ❯ Dear Readers ( Chapter 13 )

Dear Readers

No, this is not an update. It is a note. Again. NO, my cat did not die. This is something completely different, so hear me out. I realize that most of you think that I am weak and should update my stories for real. But please try and understand the reason, which I will get to here in a second. I really, really hope no one will flame for this. This is the reason.

For a while now, a lot of things have happened. Like having some friends angry at me for no reason, the popular kids being mean, and stuff like that. Then, today on the bus ride home from school, I was talking to my friend, Adam (whom I have known since we were both, like, four and is popular by the way. He's still my friend though. I hope), when the other popular kids got on the bus and he moved back to sit and talk with them. All of the seats were of course then taken so I couldn't sit back with them. Like they w anted me to anyway. That's when I started thinking about something;

When I was about 4 or so, I fell off of a 10-15 foot slide from the very top and hit my head on the ground. I was uninjured (except for the very large bump on my head). The only thing that was injured, other than my head, was my memory. I lost it. Everything from when I was born 'til I was four. Everything. Gone. All I remembered was what my parents and family members told me, like where we used to live, what they're names were, stuff like that. They also told me, a little while after, that I used to be happy all the time and un-shy. But, now, I was shy and got sad a lot easier. So, I wonder, if I hadn't climbed that slide, would I have stayed the same? Or would I still have changed?

Then, something happened. I began to feel alone, like no one cares about me. I still feel like that right now as I write this and probably will for a while. I'm just tired of it all.

I'm tired of being shy. I'm tired of being hated by so many people at my school. I'm tired of my brother making fun of and talking about me with his friends behind my back. I'm tired of people ignoring me. I'm tired of felling like I'm invisible. I'm tired of not being able to tell my parents.

I hate it all! Everything!

I want to hurt myself, but don't know if I could stop if I did! I hate not being able to cry because my father would tell me to stop and will think that I'm a wimp! I hate feeling this way but I don't know how to stop! I hate how so many things are happening to me but can't get help because I'm too scared! I hate my life!

I have the feeling that this is what depression feels like. I guess... all together, you could say... I'm tire of living...

I will be taking a short break from writing. I will try to heal but can't promise how long it will be before I am. I am sorry for wasting you time with my pointless letter and completely understand if you want to flame me. I'm sorry for...