Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ AD Presents...A Kingdom Hearts Parody ❯ ACK! An Annoying Prologue! ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Starcatcher: Hey everyone. Here is another fic featuring the people from DBZ and SM, as well as anyone else I can manage to bring in.

Videl: (Looks around nervously, expecting something bad to happen to her at any moment)

Starcatcher: Fear not, Videl. For once, I am actually NOT going to bash you.

Videl: (Blink, blink) You're not?

Everyone Else: She's not!?!

Starcatcher: No, I'm not. I won't be bashing anyone.

Videl: All right!

Starcatcher: Now it's time to reveal the main victim of my new basher fic.

Videl: Wait a minute! You just said you wouldn't bash anyone.

Starcatcher: And I'm not...it's more of a "thing", really. This fic is about the one and only...Mary Sue!

Everyone: WHAT!?!

Vulpes: AAAAAAH!!! STARCATCHER WROTE A MARY SUE!!!

Kat: IT'S A SIGN OF THE APOCOLYPSE!!!

Blade: Be serious.

Kat: I am! Look! (Pulls out "Big Book of Omens and Things to Come" and flips through pages) It says so right here! When Starcatcher writes a Mary Sue, it means the world's gonna end!

Vulpes: What do you know...it does say that.

Blade: Well this blows...I always thought I would be the one to destroy the world...

Starcatcher: Whatever. Lets just start this already.

********************

(It was another perfect day. The sun was perfectly shining. The birds were perfectly singing. And Mary Sue was gliding down the street in all her perfect glory as all the passerbys stared at her, instantly smitten with her beauty and perfectness, assuming that'e even a word.)

Passerby: (Bowing) We are not worthy!

(Mary Sue was, of course, perfect in every single way. As it turns out, she also happened to be Sailor Earth, the princess of an entire universe that technically shouldn't even exist, part Saiya-jin, half demon, a spirit detective, the owner of her very own Millennium item which is more powerful than all the other Millennium items put together, the Legendary Pokemon Master with Legendary Pokemon that no one is reasonably supposed to have, the Queen of Games with all three Egyptian God Cards, a Digidestined with her own perfect Digimon that's more powerful than Omnimon and Imperialdramon-Fighter mode combined, part witch, part angel, the pilot of Zoid Eve, is a Zoidian with her own organoid, the owner of an ultimate X and super powerful fuzor zoids, an android, a Summoner, an Esper, a Mako Infused child of Jenova, an Ancient, a Sorceress, a Genome, a Terran, a Fayth, a Sphere Hunter, a bounty hunter who always gets her man and never gets hurt no matter how many times she's shot, the Super Ultra Omega Dragoon, the best and most powerful of the Oracles even if she can't control Time or the Seasons, the mistress of the superpowerfulevenbetterthantheclowcards "Input Name Here" Cards, has her own minicon, is also another survivor of Voldemort, can use the ring of power without being corrupted, is the daughter of every single main bad guy from every single anime/game as well as Voldemort from Harry Potter and Sauron from Lord of the Rings, and is, of course, more important and powerful than all the main characers combined and has a tragic past to boot. Whew, that's a mouthfull. Did I forget anything?)

Mary Sue: You also forgot to mention that I'm much more beautiful than any of the other female characters and how all the cute guys are madly in love with me.

All: Riiight...

(Just then, Mary Sue's head pops off.)

All: (Stares)

Director: CUT! Someone bring in the "Auto Mary Sue Maker".

Disclaimer Guy: Please note that we do not own the idea of Auto Mary Sue Maker as it was invented by someone much more intelligent, creative, and insane than we are. (Is crushed by an anvil that mysteriously appeared out of nowhere)

(Special Effects Guy arrives with the Auto Mary Sue Maker, which is referred to as the AMSM for short. With a "poof", another Mary Sue is standing right where the first one was. With that done, Special Effects Guy then wheels the AMSM away.)

Director: Okay, now lets try this again. (Claps hands and disappears)

Mary Sue: (Looking up at the sky) I've been having these wierd thoughts lately.

(Dramatic pause.)

Mary Sue: Like...is any of this real...or not?

Random Mary Sue Hater: Unfortunately for us, it's real all right.

Random Smart-Ass: Actually, it's not. This is all just a work of fiction that came from the mind of an evil author.

Director: (Appears out of nowhere and grabs the two) Just shut up and lets get this over with! (Drags the two away)

Mary Sue: Uh...okay...

(Music starts. It's the short version of Simple and Clean played at the very beginning of Kingdom Hearts, only the lyrics are...different.)

Oh...

(Flash of light. Mary Sue finds herself leaning over her desk and realizes she had been sleeping.)

Ooooh...

(She immediately sits up straight and looks up to see the teacher give her back her test, which made the highest grade in the class, of course.)

You're bugging me much too often lately

(She smiles and looks around the classroom at her friends...all of which are currently glaring at her and plotting evil things to do to her. She doesn't realize this though, and keeps smiling.)

You're what I don't need
You smiled at me and screeched,

(That's when she notices one group not glaring at her or plotting evil things, one member in particular...Gohan. Oh boy...poor Gohan.)

Don't you realize you love me
So does that mean I get to kill off your girlfriend?

(She squeals and launches herself at him, glomping his arm and cutting off the circulation.)

When we are older you'll probably still not understand
What I meant when I said "No,
Fuck off bitch, it won't be that simple!”

(Gohan is surprised, then annoyed. He tries to pry her off his arm, but to no avail. She doesn't even notice. Several of the students try pulling her off. Doesn't work, so they use a crowbar. Then they try using a jackhammer, but that doesn't work either.)

When you come my way

(Suddenly, the lights go out and gasping is heard from the students near the windows. The students and teacher all head over to the open windows to see what's going on.)

You don't hear me say please
Oh Mary, drop dead

(Mary Sue moves with Gohan and lets go of his arm in shock when she sees what's outside. The sky is dark and falling stars are seen.)

Murdering you is what you're making me want to do tonight
It's hard to make you go

(Mary Sue gasps when she realizes that one of the falling stars looks just like her!)

Kill me now
Whatever lies beyond this morning
Can't be much worse than this

(She leans out to get a better look while one of the more evil students--*cough*Videl*cough*--grins maliciously and pushes her, causing her to fall, head first, out the 6-story window.)

Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all
Not as much as you do

(Looking down...er...up at the students, she sees most of them grinning and patting Videl on the back, who is cuddling with Gohan, who, along with everyone else, doesn't seem to care that Mary Sue fell.)

Kill me now
Whatever lies beyond this morning
Can't be much worse than this

(She looks back up...er...down to the ground, she finds that she's now where she saw herself from before fall. Mary Sue hits the lake she just happened to be over and continues to descend.)

Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all
Not as much as you do

(The song ends as Mary Sue lands, face first, on the darkened floor. She stands looks around in confusion. Then a mysterious voice speaks to her.)

Voice: WAAAAAZZZZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!?!

Mary Sue: (Scared) Who...who are you?

Voice: We are the Knights that say "Ni"!

Mary Sue: Huh?

Voice: Oops! Wrong story. (Clears throat) Ah yes, here we go. Apparently, I'm the one who's gonna be preparing you for your journey. Any questions?

Mary Sue: Well...whoareyouwheredoyoucomefromhowdidyougetherewhatisyourfavoritecolordo youwishtobemyfriend?

Voice: Uh...Disembodied Voice. Author's evil demented mind. Typed in. Blue. And no.

Mary Sue: (Pouts) Why noooooot?

Voice: Cuz I don't like you. Now shut up.

Mary Sue: (T_T)

(Mary Sue finds herself on a platform featuring a stained-glass picture of a young girl with red hair, surrounded by flames, as well as several smaller pictures of several other people including a girl with long blue hair and another with short blond hair and glasses. She looks around, confused.)

Voice: Alright, lets get started already. Man, so much to do, so little time...come now, don't be afraid and step forward.

(Pause...)

Voice: STEP FORWARD!

Mary Sue: I DON'T WANNA!

Voice: Don't make me hit you with a random prop! I can do that ya know!

Mary Sue: EEP! (Steps forward into the light, scared)

Voice: Ewww...on second thought, step back!

Mary Sue: HEY! I'm a Mary Sue! You have to be nice to me!

Voice: Not according to the script I don't!

(Random prop falls out of nowhere and hits Mary Sue.)

Mary Sue: Ow! (Rubs head, pouting) That HURT!

Voice: Get over it! Now it's time to start your journey.

Mary Sue: Journey?

Voice: Yeah. Apparently, you're gonna go on some stupid little journey to other worlds and meet people who will plot against you and bad guys who will beat you up for no good reason while we all watch and laugh and make bets on how long you'll last. Then, if you somehow manage to survive, you'll be the one to open the door.

Mary Sue: What door?

Voice: Enough with the questions. Right now, you have to choose your path.

(Three pedestals appear. One has a sword, one has a shield, and one has a stick.)

Voice: (Mysteriously) Power sleeps within you...(Yawns)...yadda yadda yadda...give it form...blah blah strength something blah. (Sharply) So don't just stand there drooling! Pick one!

(Emerald appears out of nowhere for commentary.)

Emerald: Hey...how does a shield count as a weapon?

Voice: How should I know? I'm not the one who made the weapons.

Emerald: But a shield isn't a weapon!

Voice: Just go away!

Emerald: NEVER! NOW I WILL TAKE OVER THE STORY! (Laughs evilly in that annoying way of hers)

Voice: That's it! You are SO gonna get it!

Emerald: (Sneers) What are ya gonna do? "Nag" me to death?

Voice: Well...sure.

Emerald: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I'll be good! I'll be good!

Voice: Uh...I wasn't serious ya know...

Emerald: (Curls into a little ball and begins rocking back and forth)

Voice: Riiight...can we get the nice guys from the "Happy Place" in here?

(The two guys in white coats come and drag Emerald off.)

Voice: Now, where were we?

Mary Sue: Um...you were about to let me go? And not kill me?

Voice: Oh yeah! Now I remember! Plotting your doom, right?

Mary Sue: No!

Voice: Now hurry up and pick your weapon.

Mary Sue: Do I have to?

Voice: Not unless you don't want the story to continue.

Mary Sue: Fine with me. (Random prop falls on her head) OW! Okay! Okay! (Walks over to the stick, but can't reach it)

Voice: JUMP YOU IDIOT!

(Mary Sue jumps onto the pedestal and grabs the stick. And no, this is not a wand...it's a twig, just like any that could be found outside under a tree.)

Voice: The power of the "retard"-calling nimrod. Unbelievable annoyingness. A stick to poke your enemies with...not that it'll do much good. Seriously, this is a stupid weapon. Is this the power you seek?

Mary Sue: Sure!

Voice: O...kay...your path is set. Now what will you give up in exchange?

Mary Sue: Why do I have to give up something?

Voice: Cuz.

Mary Sue: Cuz why?

Voice: Cuz I'll drop another random prop on your head if you don't!

Mary Sue: Okay! Okay! Just don't hurt me! (Walks over to the sword and jumps up to grab it)

Voice: The power of the goddess. Immortality and super ultra unbeatable power. A beautiful and strong sword powerful enough to finish off the big bad evil in one blow. The best possible weapon you would have to be dumber than Andy to get rid of. Will you give up this power?

Mary Sue: Okie Dokie.

(The pedestals disappear and Mary Sue falls on her butt.)

Mary Sue: (Cries shrilly)

Voice: Stop! Stop crying or you'll cause the floor to--

(The floor shatters, causing Mary Sue to fall.)

Voice: Break... (Sighs)

(Mary Sue falls, landing on a new platform. This one shows a girl with blue eyes wearing a red bow in her blond hair. She is dressed in a yellow and orange sailor fuku and is surrounded by a chain of hearts.)

Voice: (Sarcastically) You have gained the power to fight. Woopadeefreakindoo.

Mary Sue: YAY!

Voice: And you can save the world and stuff...maybe...

Mary Sue: YAY!

Voice: And now I'm gonna send a bunch of creatures to kill you.

Mary Sue: YA--(Pauses and blinks twice in confusion as she registers what was just said)--huh?

(Several heartless appear. Mary Sue destroys one and all the others disappear.)

Mary Sue: YEAH! Who rules? Who rules?

Voice: Oh enough with the gloating. That's Leena's department!

(Cut to episode of Zoids where Leena attacked all the fighters, including her own teammates.)

Leena: YEAAAAAAAAAH!!! I BEAT ALL OF THEM! (Dances around) Go Leena! Go Leena! Go-go-go Leena!

Bit: YOU LITTLE BITCH! (Strangles Leena)

Brad: Now, Bit. Violence never solves anything.

(Pause...)

Brad: It sure makes us feel better though. (Kicks Leena)

(Hercule pops in out of nowhere.)

Hercule: Hey, I thought Starcatcher said she wasn't gonna bash anyone?

Blade: She isn't. I AM! (Blasts Hercule and laughs)

(Back in the weird mysterious place...)

Mary Sue: (Sniff, sniff) You're mean!

Voice: And you're a wuss! Now for the black vortex thingie of doom.

(A back vortex sucks in Mary Sue, depositing her on another stained glass floor, this one in the shape of a heart with some other cool designs.)

Mary Sue: Oooo...the colors...

Voice: This is the next part.

Mary Sue: (Cowers in fear)

Voice: Now you see that door? Go examine it.

Mary Sue: (Examines the door for several hours) Duuuuuuuuuuh...

Voice: Er...that's enough.

(A treasure chest appears.)

Mary Sue: Oooo...pretty box...AND IT'S ALL MINE!!!

Voice: Open the box.

Mary Sue: NO! MY BOX!

Voice: Open it! I COMMAND YOU!!!

Mary Sue: Fine...

(Mary Sue opens it, and it disappears.)

Mary Sue: NOOOO! COME BACK BOXY!!!

Voice: Check out the door.

(The border around the door becomes solid. Now a crate appears.)

Voice: Do you see that crate? I want you to whack it! WHACK IT I SAY!!!

Mary Sue: (Lightly taps the crate, which then blows up)

(A barrel appears.)

Voice: Now for the barrel. Pick it up and throw it over the side of the platform!

Mary Sue: (Shrugs)

(So Mary Sue picks up and throws the barrel over the side. A few seconds after doing so, there's a THUMP, and a loud cry of pain is heard, followed by cursing.)

Voice: MWEHEHEHEHEHEHEH!!! Ooh! Look at the door!

(The door is now solid.)

Mary Sue: Can I go now?

Voice: Oh sure...go ahead.

(So he opens the door and a bright light emits from it.)

Mary Sue: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! MY EYES!!! (Quickly goes through the door to find herself back on the island) Yay! No more evil voice thingy!

Voice: Howdy.

Mary Sue: AH! You're still here?

Voice: Oh look. Here's another random prop just waiting to land on your fat head.

Mary Sue: Sorry! Sorry! (Pauses for a moment) HEY! MY HEAD'S NOT FAT!

Voice: Just keep telling yourself that...anyway, the door's not gonna open yet!

Mary Sue: WHY NOOOOOOOOOOT!?!

Voice: Because this wouldn't be much of a parody if it did, now would it?

Mary Sue: A what now?

Voice: (Sighs) Nevermind...just go talk to your stupid little friends.

Mary Sue: Yay! I have friends!

Voice: Hey, I DID say they were stupid!

Mary Sue: You're mean!

Voice: Don't blame me. I was created that way.

Mary Sue: But I was created to be so sweet and perfect, yet everyone's picking on me!

Voice: Yeah, but there's a difference here.

Mary Sue: Which would be?

Voice: You're a Mary Sue. I'm just the disembodied voice. No one can hurt me even if they tried. I AM INVINCIBLE!!!MWAHAHAHAAA!!!

Mary Sue: But that's not fair!

Voice: Hey, you got to star in all those stupid little stories with the absurd ending that puts you with a cute anime guy, while this is the first and possibly only time I'll ever be mentioned, so you have nothing to complain about!

Mary Sue: But I keep getting hurt in this!

Voice: Hey, life's a bitch. Whaddaya gonna do?

Mary Sue: I'LL SUE!!!

Voice: Then I'll counter-sue! And I'll win too because I am perfect.

Mary Sue: No, I'm perfect! I'm a Mary Sue after all!

Voice: Actually, you're perfect to the point of annoyance. I'm just perfect in that I'm never wrong. Nah-nah-nah-nah-NAH!

(Fuming, Mary Sue goes to talk to her "friends", starting with Lucy Lu.)

Lucy Lu: Hello, oh great and wonderful Mary Sue who is more beautiful and powerful and all around more perfect than me and who I idolize and wish I was just like because you are so wonderful and kind and generous and smart and beautiful--

Voice: Hey, just wondering, but does the phrase "get a life" mean anything to you?

Lucy Lu: A what now?

(Pause...)

Voice: (Sigh) Alas ladies and gentlemen...yet another poor soul corrupted by the evil power of Mary Sue.

Mary Sue: HEY!

Lucy Lu: Don't be mean to the all-mighty Mary Sue! It's not her fault you aren't half as wonderful and perfect and lovable as she is!

Voice: And now, we must say goodbye to poor Lucy Lu, who is not as perfect as Mary Sue, but is still annoying as hell.

Lucy Lu: Am I going on a trip?

Voice: Yes, Lucy Lu...a very long trip.

Lucy Lu: (Like a little girl) YAY!

(Doesn't notice the two men in white coats coming up behind her until they trap her in a large net.)

Lucy Lu: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! (Is carried off to the loony bin in the distance)

Voice: It's always so sad to see one so young end up there...oh well. Moving on.

Mary Sue: (Shrugs and goes over to Marty Stu, a weird young Elvis look-alike) Hello Marty Stu. I'm the wonderful, important, all-powerful, beautiful, perfect Mary Sue!

Marty Stu: (Sounds like Elvis) Well hello there lil beaudacious mama. Auh-auh-auh.

(Just then, Raye and Lita walk by and see Marty Stu.)

Lita: Hey look! It's Elvis back from the dead! What do we do?

Raye: If he's back from the dead, that makes him a zombie. We have no choice but to kill him, tear him limb from limb, and auction pieces of his body off the internet!

Lita: Sweet!

(With that, the two pull out flame throwers and blast Marty Stu.)

Marty Stu: Elvis has left the building. Auh-auh-auh. (Falls over, burnt to a crisp as Raye and Lita drag him off)

Mary Sue: Aww...(Goes over to the last guy, a rather dorky-looking kid with glasses) Uh...who are you?

Dorky-looking Guy: I'm Larry Moo.

Mary Sue: Funny, I've never heard of you before.

Larry Moo: That's because no one's ever made a fic including me. This is the first time.

Mary Sue: I see...

Larry Moo: ...

Mary Sue: ...

Larry Moo: ...

Mary Sue: ...So...aren't you going to idolize me and tell me how honored you are to even be gazing upon me?

Larry Moo: Nope. Unlike you and those little clones of yours, I was created with a brain.

Mary Sue: HMPH!!!

Larry Moo: Speaking of which...(To Voice)...why the hell did I end up here anyways?

Voice: Actually, I have no clue.

Larry Moo: O...kay...do I have to be tortured?

Voice: Well...it doesn't look like we have any reason to do anything to you, so you're free to go.

Larry Moo: Cool. (Sticks out tounge at Mary Sue and disappears with a flash)

Voice: Wow. Sonic boom. Not bad.

Mary Sue: (Whining) Heeeey! What about meeeeh?

Voice: What about you? Go talk to your stupid friends or something.

Mary Sue: I can't! Lucy Lu got taken to the nut house, Marty Stu is dead, and Larry Moo left me, so I'm alone! (Crying) WHY AM I ALONE!?!

Voice: Well, there is the matter of you being a psychotic bitch bent on world domination and expects to be treated like a goddess for no good reason other than that you're you as though that actually means something, even though it doesn't mean anything to anybody and only serves to piss them off and make them hate you and your perfectness all the more, even if that's not a word.

(Pause. Mary Sue blinks. Another pause.)

Voice: You're also a bit of a grouch.

Mary Sue: AM NOT!!!

(And so, Mary Sue starts to rant on why she's so perfect and how everyone should be nice to her and bow to her every whim when a random prop drops onto her head, effectively shutting her up.)

Voice: Can I continue?

Mary Sue: (Sulking) Fine.

Voice: Now lets see...Lucy Lu was taken away, Marty Stu was killed, and Larry Moo left you to wallow in self-pity.

Mary Sue: Where does that lead to?

Voice: Lets see...your journey will begin at...um...what time is it now?

Mary Sue: Noon.

Voice: Okay then. Your journey will begin at three in the morning.

Mary Sue: WHAT!?! But I'm usually asleep at that time. I need my beauty sleep!

Voice: Tough. (Pause) Hey...if you need your beauty sleep, wouldn't that indicate that you're not as perfectly beautiful and you keep claiming to be?

Mary Sue: But I...uh...er...you said...gah...erk! (Head blows up and body slumps over)

Voice: Hey, if I knew it was that easy, I would have done that earlier.

Director: CUT! Bring in the Auto Mary Sue Maker!

(Special Effects Guy arrives with the AMSM. With a "poof", another Mary Sue is created.)

Director: Okay, now lets try this AGAIN. (Walks off, followed by Special Effects Guy who is pushing the AMSM along)

Mary Sue: (Looks around in confusion and notices the body of the previous Mary Sue on the ground) WAAAH! THAT DEAD BODY IS DRESSED JUST LIKE MEEEEEEEH!

Voice: Deal with it. As I was saying, your journey will begin at three in the morning, you'll do stuff, annoy people, and get beat up by some evil dude.

Mary Sue: That doesn't sound like fun.

Voice: Oh, but it is...(I swear, you could almost SEE the grin)

(There is a bright flash of light that is supposed to take them back to the void of endless black space, but is cut off because Mary Sue begins screaming.)

Mary Sue: AAAAAH!!! MY EYES! MY PERFECT EYES!!! THE LIGHT BLINDS ME SO!

Voice: Man you're annoying...but wait a minute. If your eyes are hurting so badly because of a flash of light, wouldn't that mean that they're not perfect which would mean that you're not as perfect as you--

Mary Sue: (Blows up)

Voice: (Cracks up) AHAHAHAHAHAA!

Director: CUT! Voice, cut it out!

Voice: (Still laughing, but starts to calm down) Sorry, sorry...couldn't resist.

Director: Ugh...bring out the Auto Mary Sue Maker.

Special Effects Guy: (Brings out the AMSM, glaring angrily at the area the voice comes from and mutters darkly about having to drag this stupid machine everywhere)

(There's a "poof", another Mary Sue is created. Special Effects Guy leaves, pushing the AMSM.)

Director: (Sending a dark look up at the orgin of the Voice) And seriously...no more using logical paradoxes to kill off Mary Sue! (Leaves)

Voice: Darn...

(And so, there's another flash of light and Mary Sue finds herself back at the endless void of darkness, only standing on a platform. This platform features a younger girl wearing a strange outfit and holding a pink wand. There's also what looks like a stuffed animal to one side of her, and an angel on the other. A bunch of heartless appear and attack.)

Mary Sue: Er...back...evil...dark...thingies!!! (Pokes at a heartless in the eye with the stick)

Heartless: (Gets annoyed and mauls Mary Sue)

Mary Sue: (Scream) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

(And so, Mary Sue runs around the platform, screaming her head off--not literally this time--and waving her arms, dropping the stick in her hurry to get away. A heartless trips over the stick and falls onto another heartless, causing that one to fall and creating a domino effect that causes all the heartless to turn into whisps and disappear, leaving glowing pink hearts behind until those also disappear.)

Voice: Wha...oh come on! That was lame!

Mary Sue: (Stops screaming and looks around, realizing the heartless are gone) Yay! I beat them!

Voice: Actually, it was the stick. You just sort of ran around screaming and flapping your arms like a chicken. I thought you were supposed to be perfect!

Mary Sue: I am!

Voice: Then wouldn't you actually be able to FIGHT!?!

Mary Sue: I...uh...(Body blows up and only her head remains, which drops to the ground and rolls off over the edge)

Director: CUT! Voice, for the last time, DON'T DO THAT!

Voice: Okay, okay! Geez, take away my fun why don't you?

Director: (Growls) Bring out the Auto Mary Sue Maker!

(Once again, the Special Effects Guy comes in, pushing the AMSM and glaring angrily at everyone. With another "poof", there is another Mary Sue.)

Special Effects Guy: (Muttering to self) What was I thinking when I took this job? (Grabs hold of the AMSM and begins to push it away)

Director: (To Special Effects Guy) Oh, don't bother, it's just gonna happen again anyway. Leave it off to the side so it's out of the way.

(With that done, Special Effects Guy quietly thanks whatever otherworldly entity decided to show mercy on him and leaves.)

Director: All right then. Voice, just say your lines and get this over with! You can't keep blowing up the Mary Sues! We've got that thing on loan and an Auto Mary Sue Maker isn't cheap ya know! (Leaves)

Mary Sue: Do what now?

Voice: Just forget it. Now, look there.

(Mary Sue looks up to see a glowing green circle on the ground.)

Mary Sue: (Mesmerized) OoOoOooo...glowing green circle on the ground...

Voice: That's a save spot. It's a place you can go to restore your HP and MP, and it's where you'll end up once you're KO-ed.

Mary Sue: Huh? What's all that about?

Voice: Something about being inside of a PlayStation2.

(Mary Sue shrugs and steps inside the save spot.)

Director: Great, now we don't have to use the Auto Mary Sue Maker anymore! (Pushes it over the edge of the platform)

Special Effects Guy: WHAT!?! You mean after making me carry that thing around everywhere for most of this, you're just trashing it!?!

Director: Well...yeah.

Special Effects Guy: AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!! (Leaps off over the edge)

Director: What a weird kid.

Voice: Hey, I thought you said you got that thing on loan?

Director: (Gasp!) That's right! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (Jumps over the edge after the AMSM)

Voice: (Sort of Bender-like) Eeheeheeheehee.

(Now several miniature rainbow-glass platforms appear, leading up to a taller platform.)

Voice: Go on up.

Mary Sue: Are you sure there won't be some big scary monster up there?

Voice: Uh...yeah...

Mary Sue: Okay then. (Climbs up the stairway and reaches the next platform)

(The new platform shows a young girl black haired girl wearing a school uniform. She looks off to the side as her bow and arrow are lowered towards the ground. A pink jewel hangs on a chain around her neck. A young boy is watching her from behind, but the strange thing is, he has dog ears!)

Voice: The closer you get to the light, the greater your shadow becomes.

(Darkside appears.)

Mary Sue: (To Voice) Hey! You said there wasn't gonna be some big scary monster up here!

Voice: I lied.

Darkside: (Growls)

Mary Sue: What do I dooooooo!?!

Voice: You have two choices. You can either fight...

Mary Sue: I don't want to fight! What's the other choice?

Voice: Or you can die.

(Pause. Mary Sue blinks twice.)

Mary Sue: Fighting him sounds good.

(Darkside begins to attack.)

Mary Sue: (Charges at Darkside, stick in hand, ready to poke at him) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

(However, once Mary Sue pokes Darkside in the leg with the stick, it snaps in two and disappears, leaving her defenseless against him. A circle of darkness appears around Mary Sue.)

Mary Sue: EEEEK! (Tries to get out, but it pulls her in and she continues screaming)

Voice: (Monotone, as if reading this off a script) But do not be afraid...within you lies the greatest power of all.

Mary Sue: (Stops screaming and looks up, excited) Really?

Voice: No, we're gonna give it to someone who isn't as horribly cliched as you are.

Mary Sue: Awwww...(Goes back to trying to fight the darkness)

Voice: And don't forget...

(Mary Sue is taken by the darkness and disappears, causing the screen to go white.)

Voice: You are the one who will open the door...

(The white fades, revealing the exact area they were at before, only Mary Sue is gone. Darkside is still there though. But with a "poof", Darkside had been replaced by...Oolong?)

Oolong: Man, that didn't last long at all.

Voice: Didn't expect it to. (Mutters darkly under breath) Knew I should have taken off another minute.

Oolong: What was that?

Voice: Nothing. Now didn't I tell you the five minute time limit would be nothing to worry about?

Oolong: I guess so. That was...rather easy.

Voice: Pathetic, actually. I mean, if she couldn't even beat you, how can she expect to last against the other evil guys, all of them being much more powerful than you?

Oolong: HEY! I don't have to stand for this! (Storms off)

(With that, Oolong is gone. A few minutes later, several shadowy figures appear.)

Voice: (Sigh) Okay...who said the fight would be over in 3 minutes?

Shadowy Figure That Is Slightly Shorter Than The Other Shadowy Figures: (Steps into the light, revealing it's Hotaru) I did.

Voice: Then you won the bet.

Other Shadowy Figures: (Grumble and hand over cash to Hotaru)

Hotaru: (Grins and takes the money while the others glare at her) Hah hah!

Voice: Next time folks, Mary Sue wakes up and is bashed some more. Videl plots stuff while Gohan has no clue what's going on or why they're suddenly on an island in the middle of nowhere. Meanwhile, weird things are happening in other places. Mina's been kidnapped, Setsuna'a acting weird, and with Serena gone on some mission, Rini takes off to find the one who weilds the keyblade, but she won't be alone. And more random stuff happens. So review please!

Mary Sue's Head: Flame please!

Voice: And don't forget...

Shadowy Figures: DEATH TO MARY SUE!