Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ [MSTing] The Adventures of Captain Yaten ❯ Chapter 2
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Megane67 
Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Drama / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 05.14.2010 | Pages: 24 | Words: 11.6K | Visits: 340 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Drama / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 05.14.2010 | Pages: 24 | Words: 11.6K | Visits: 340 | Status: Completed
*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS*
(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)
(The future isn't what it used to be...)
"MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON FIVE)
EPISODE 46: THE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN YATEN PT. 2
(A Sailor Moon MSTing)
MSTed From the Desks of Megane 6.7 and Zoogz
(megane67@rogers.com) (zoogz@yahoo.com)
This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should
be inferred.
Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc.
are the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just
covering our collective asses here folks...
"The Adventures of Captain Yaten" is the property of My Interests.
We attempted to contact her by e-mail but there was no reply and
we sincerely hope she does not take offense to this MSTing of
her work. It's all meant in good fun. ;p
Warning: This MSTing is rated PG-13 for violence, coarse language
and mature content.
* * *
(Door 6: It's a metal door with no knob. Before you can do
anything, it's yanked off its hinges from the other side by a tow
truck.)
(Door 5: It's an old fashioned elevator. Both sets of doors open
for you as you pass through.)
(Door 4: It's made of dominoes. You tip the lead one over and watch
as the pile slowly lowers until it's half its original size and you
step over it.)
(Door 3: It's filled with cute stuffed toys. You cuddle them for
awhile before proceeding.)
(Door 2. It's solid black marble. An Ankh floats from behind you and
touches the door. The door vanishes.)
(Door 1: It's a castle gate that rises into the ceiling, revealing a
drawbridge that slowly lowers to the ground. You cross it
cautiously, looking for moat monsters.)
(Door .7: It's a swirling blue vortex. Suddenly a large hand
reaches out of its center and pulls you inside.)
Joel emerged from the vortex into the theater with Tom in his
arms, Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind.
Stepping over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the
theater on his own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater
seats and sat next to him, Crow sitting on his right.
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Crow: <doctor> Now, let's just take a look at your MRI results
and... HOLY CRAP!
>Taiki and Ami rode on a horse going north. Ami smiled as she felt
>the air blow through her hair.
Joel: <author> *click* OK, one more... *click* Nice! I think I
have my book cover!
Tom: It just so happened that Taiki was the southbound end of a
northbound horse.
>"Look, there they are!" Taiki said.
>
>Ami looked over to see the pirate ship had docked on an island. "How
>can we ever get to it and save the others?"
Tom: I'd say it takes a miracle, but they're already on it.
>Taiki lowered Ami off of his horse. "That's none of my concern." He
>then rode off, leaving Ami behind.
Joel: [laughs]
Crow: We don't care too much either, Ami.
>Ami nodded. He had a different mission. She understood it well.
Crow: Convincing Tuxy to give this 'fic another go?
Joel: Starring in a crappy Final Fantasy spin-off?
>However, she could never ever fight all by herself. She was a
>doctor, not a hero.
Tom: She was a McCoy not a Hatfield!
Crow: <Ami> Take two pity trips and DON'T call me in the morning.
>She looked over at the ship. A white haired guy jumped off of the
>ship. She decided to sit on a rock and think out a plan.
Tom: I think that if she waits long enough, all the rest of the
sailors will throw themselves off too.
Joel: <Ami> Would you stop drowning so loud!? I'm
TRYING to think!
>She tapped her chin in thought. She could swim over to the ship;
>throw off the pirates… no no… that wouldn't work.
Crow: <Ami> Sorry, thought I was Kratos there for a second.
Tom: I have an extremely sinking feeling that Captain Ron will get
involved shortly.
Joel: <Ami> I'd use a rowboat as a submarine but Mythbusters
already busted it.
>She could go to a town that had even bigger ships and sail on the
>ship and blow up their pirate ship and save her friends...
Tom: ...charred bodies.
Joel: <Ami> That's it! I'll get the Goonies!
>She stood up and nodded. She will get help from a village nearby.
Crow: <Ami> Help me, Hefty Smurf! You're my only hope!
>She turned around and walked into a wet object.
Joel: <Ami> Oh wait, that's the ocean... glub glub...
>She looked up and saw the white haired pirate. He grinned down
>at her.
Tom: Wait, is this the captain or the guy with the beard or the
other guy with the hair? I'm lost.
Crow: <pirate> I'm canvassing for the Slightly Soggy Party, we
believe in subsidies for towels.
>"I think I remember you… I saw a friend of mine run off with you!"
>He grinned and grabbed the girl, tossing her on her shoulder.
>
>"IEEEE!!!!"
Joel: <Ami> ...you broke my collarbone, you IDIOT!
Tom: <pirate> Oh crap, Vince McMahon will surely be firing me
for this...
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Crow: <singing> Oh, sweet scene change of life, at last I've
found youuuuu...!
>Taiki heard her yell as he slowed down his horse. He looked back to
>see if he could see anything.
Joel: <Taiki> Geez, can't I leave you alone and defenseless for
one minute!?
>"Ami…" He turned his head and started to go the way he was going when
>he heard the captain's voice.
>
>"Taiki, I know you're near. Bring back our treasure map and nothing
>will happen to this blue haired girl…
Tom: Don't you know what blue hair means? She secretes a deadly
poison from her skin!
Joel: So how will we see all the weird anime hair colors if they're
hidden by pirate bandannas?
Crow: Don't worry, the amber and taupe eyes will still be visible.
>but, if you go… she will be fed to the sharks!"
Joel: <captain> We'll lock her in the Press Room and throw away
the key!
Tom: <Ami> NOOOOOOOOO!!!
>Taiki bit his lip. No, this is his problem. He got her involved.
Crow: <Taiki> I'm THIS close to retirement! But what about that
little girl!?
>"Damn map." He hated to see history getting messed up for vein
>reasons. He shook his head.
Tom: Heh, looks like history and Bela Lugosi have something in
common.
Joel: <Pirate> Aww, I cain't read one o' them mappy things! Got a
GPS loaded with the info?
>"Taiki! GO! HIDE! I don't care about myself! Save the map!"
>
>"SHUT UP!"
Crow: <Ami> Well, if you feel THAT way about it, give him the map
and go to hell.
Joel: Actually, that was the audience. They were getting restless.
>Taiki looked towards where her voice came from. She agreed with him?
>Taiki's heart started to beat faster.
Tom: Is this love at first sight or too much caffeine? Tune in
TOMORROW!
>A plan formed in Taiki's head as he ordered his horse to go back to
>Ami.
Crow: Finally, the REAL hero of the story is introduced!
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Joel: Damn these speedbumps, just when the story picks up any
momentum...
>Ami watched as Taiki rode in on his horse. "Taiki!"
Tom: Could be worse, at least it wasn't a Pinto.
>Yaten in return tossed Ami at Taiki.
Joel: <Taiki> I got her! I got her!! *thump* Uh... the sun was in
my eyes!
>"It's mine!" He picked up the map and opened it.
Crow: <Yaten> Let's see... "You are here, but the travelers
checks are..." YOU BASTARD!!
>He stared at it as Taki grabbed Ami and rode off. "TAIKI!!!!!! When
>I get you… I will shoot you myself!!!!"
Crow: I prefer to believe that's Ami talking.
Tom: Is it Taiki or Taki? Or Hawks?
Joel: We're expecting narrative integrity this far in?
>Yaten dropped the map and the map said; "Got you!"
Crow: <Yaten> Dammit. Next time, I'll demand the horse.
Joel: <Black Beauty> Damn right!
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Tom: Not from the scene change do I my judgment pluck; And yet
methinks I have comedy, But not to tell of good or evil fics, of
plagues, of dearths, or season two of 'The John Larroquette's Show''s
quality...
Joel: Thank you, Tommy Shakespeare.
>Hee hee.. Hope you all like the story thus far. Don't worry; it'll
>only get better.
Crow: It's like saying the only direction you can walk from the
South Pole is north.
Joel: <author> Wait till we get to the TRIVIA!!!
Tom: GAAH!?
>How is Ami going to save her friends?
Joel: <Ami> An internet petition! Those always work!
Crow: <Ami> Hmm... Save Our Sailors... that's catchy...
>Will Yaten loose his temper and make the two feisty girls walk the
>plank?
Tom: Is a bar of soap included with this dunking too?
>And Seiya, what is up his sleeves?
Joel: Hopefully, his arms.
>I thought that Rei would make a great pirate. Heehee.
Crow: So would James Buchanan, where's THAT fanfic?
Tom: Other awesome pirates: Sun Tsu, Stephen Harper, and Bozo
the Clown.
>Well, it's almost dinnertime… how will the crew deal with Usagi's
>cooking?
Joel: Frequent visits to the poop deck come to mind.
Crow: They'll poke the beaver once or twice, push it away, and break
out the Yogos.
>Find out… REVIEW!
Joel: Wow, this has all been one giant prologue for an episode of
Iron Chef?
>Chapter 3: Dinner
Crow: Chapter 4: Dessert.
Tom: Chapter 5: Urp.
Joel: Wait, we skipped breakfast? But that's the most important
chapter of the day!
>The night was setting and Makato called everyone in for dinner.
>Captain Yaten sat at the foot of the table, grumbling under his
>breath.
Joel: He was holding out for Chapter 6: Rum.
>All of the pirates avoided him like the pelage.
Tom: Ah yes, 'The Pelage'. The best-selling novel from Abbot
Hummus, author of other classics like 'The Ranger' and 'The Balls'.
Crow: Actually, Pelage was Usagi's latest attempt at a creamed
corn/riblet fusion.
>They all knew that when he grumbled like that, he wanted blood.
Joel: <Bela Lugosi> Preferably AB negative.
Crow: <Yaten> Blah, blah, blah...
>Minako and Usagi carried two big pots around the table as the pirates
>helped themselves to the stew.
Tom: It was about 75% blond hair.
Crow: <Usagi> We prefer "angel" hair.
>Makato leaned over Seiya and handed him a hamburger with everything
>on top. "I made this myself, while Usagi made everything else."
Tom: Thus leading to Seiya's foulest nightmare... one bishounen
and three girls sharing a pirate ship.
Joel: Arrg, come and knock on me door...
>Seiya smiled. "THANK YOU!"
Crow: <announcer> The part of Seiya will now be played by
Dr. Erhardt.
>He grabbed the burger and began eating it as if he had never had
>anything else to eat before.
Crow: Yes, because no meat is possibly fresher than that aboard
a pirate ship.
Tom: Are you nuts? This is steampunk, where refrigerators, Sailor
Scouts, horseback riding, reading by lanterns, and pirate ships all
coexist in harmony!
>Usagi stopped by Yaten. He looked up at her and glared at her.
>"Minako will bring me my stew."
Crow: <Yaten> You stick to your ale, wench!
Joel: Yaten was afraid his stew would come like his slippers,
half-nibbled.
>Usagi looked towards her cousin and walked away from Yaten. Minako
>walked up to him and he glared at her. "You shall serve me." Minako
>nodded and poured the stew into his bowl. He waved his hand and
>dismissed her. She walked over to Usagi.
Crow: <Minako> See? A quarter tip! He doesn't think I'm just some
two-bit floozy... err, waitaminute...
Joel: <Minako, whispering> I put the poison on the top AND the
bottom to be sure.
>Yaten took a bite of the stew. His eyes lit up and his face turned
>red. The other pirates looked at their food and dropped their spoons.
>Seiya licked his fingers and smiled.
Crow: Underneath, he seethed. Tabasco soup again! Those bitches
would pay.
>"WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS!" Yaten yelled as he spat fire everywhere.
>
>"Stew, with a twist!" Usagi said proudly.
Joel: Of pure naphtha.
>Yaten pulled out his gun and aimed it at her. "The "twist" is fire!
Tom: <Usagi> Yeah, I added this glowing orange flower, old recipe
given to me by a plumber.
>I should shoot you down right now!"
>
>Usagi didn't flinch. "Go ahead. It's not as if we're ever going to go
>home again."
Joel: I'm almost curious if Usagi will ask to see his conceal carry
permit.
Tom: <Usagi> Oooh, is that a Ruger?
Crow: <Yaten> Naaw, a H&K I picked up at the last port.
>Seiya quickly stood up. "I'll punish her, Captain. After all, she is
>my prisoner."
Tom: Forty lashes with his limp noodle, right?
Crow: <Seiya> In the name of the moon, I'll... punish...
Joel: <Usagi> *ahem*
>Yaten glared at him, but lowered his gun. "What do we eat now?"
>
>Minako sighed. Yaten glared at her. "What do you know how to cook?"
Crow: <Minako> Well, I have this goose... wait, forget I said that.
Joel: <Minako> I never knew, my sensei only spoke Swedish!
>Minako smiled. "Spicer stews."
>
>Yaten shook his head and sat down.
>
>More please!"
>
>Yaten raised an eyebrow as a pirate shoved his bowl towards Minako.
>She scooped out some of the stew and gave it to him.
Tom: Wait until they find out that Minako's been serving them their
dirty laundry for three days.
>"She is my servant; I do not want to ever hear you say please to her
>again." Yaten said as he got up.
Crow: <pirate> Here's some earplugs. MORE PLEASE!!!
>He glared at Makoto. "Make me a tuna platter. I will be in my
>quarters." Yaten then left the room.
Joel: But first he sat down, stood again, sat, glared, stood,
glared...
Crow: <Minako> What an eccentric performance.
>"Minako, will you stay here and serve the pirates while I make Yaten
>a Tuna plater?" Makato then left the room.
Tom: If she weaves the bones just right, she can make a plate and
a cup!
>Suddenly, none of the pirates were eating.
Joel: <Pirates> Tuna Plater was our best fisherman! Why'd you have
to cook him??
Tom: <Pirate> Now we'll have to go with Richard Hatch, and we hate
watching him fish. Yeech.
>A couple of them stared at her and narrowed their eyes.
Crow: Don't you mean, their *eye*?
Tom: I think that the only two pirates on the ship are John
Flansborough and John Linnell.
>Minako started to feel funny.
Crow: <Minako> What's the deal with airplane peanuts?
>MEN! BEHAVE!" Rei walked into the room and tossed her hat on the hat
>rack.
Joel: That's the worst Austin Powers impression I've ever heard.
Tom: Sadly, I'm half-expecting him to show up in about one more
chapter.
Crow: <Austin Powers> I'm on a *boat*, baby! Yeah!
>Her raven hair was loose and she wore a red shirt, and tight black
>pants.
Joel: She just came from the Aerosmith video where she was a body
double for Steven Tyler.
>She sat into her chair and held out a bowl to Minako. Minako quickly
>filled it.
Crow: ...with more bowls.
>Rei took a small sip of the stew and glared at Minako. She threw the
>bowl at Minako.
Tom: <Rei> HAVE some, it's TERRIFIC.
>"Did you make this?"
>
>"No ma'am. My cousin did." Minako said meekly.
>
>"I demand a different meal. NOW!"
Joel: <Rei> Something happy!
Crow: <Minako> It's a pirate ship, it's known for having the pantry
of a freaking Carnival Cruise.
>Minako quickly rushed out of the room.
>
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Tom: Next time on Hell's Galley...
Crow: <Chef Ramsay> How long?
Joel: <Minako> Two more minutes on the scene change, Chef!
Tom: Over on Set B, the Sailor Starlights were well in the middle
of the Trojan War....
>Seiya put his arms around Usagi. He put his head on top of her head.
Crow: Oh dear lord, it's Lego Porn!
>He didn't really want to punish Usagi.
Joel: <Seiya> Look, just... tell your mother I yelled at you and
don't do it again, okay? Now, go put on a sweater, honey.
>"If you are going to rape me, you better just get it done and over
>with as I have no chance."
Tom: <Usagi> Yep, just hold me down with your big muscular
arms, unbutton that sweaty white shirt that hides that ripped torso
underneath and DEFINITELY don't call me Bella while we're doing
it... I mean... while you're forcing yourself on me!
Joel: <Seiya> I'm on Team Yaten, sorry.
>Seiya twisted Usagi around to face him. The moonlight caught her
>hair and made his heart stop beating.
Crow: The lesson, never wear your hair loosely around dangerous
moonlight.
>"Odango, I would never do that to you."
>
>Usagi looked at him in awe.
Crow: <Usagi> Did... did you just tenderly refer to me as a
MEATBALL???
Tom: O solo mio!
>"Then why do you hold me so?"
Joel: <Seiya> Cause you're lovely to look at.
Crow: <Usagi> Consider me sold!
>Seiya regretfully let her go. He then walked to the other side of the
>room that he had taken her into. He grabbed a mop and a bucket.
Tom: <Usagi> Oh, I get it. You jackass... you want someone
THINNER. Than an 80-pound Japanese teenager. I see that she's blond
too, you two-timing son-of-a-bitch.
>"Here, scrub the deck." He had a reputation to keep
Crow: That's SWAB the deck, ya piss poor excuse for a pirate!
>and this was the only punishment that he could think of that would
>not hurt her so.
Tom: Two hours later, Usagi died of infection from a splinter.
Joel: Keeping your bed warm was hazardous duty, eh Seiya?
>Usagi took the mop from him and the bucket. She then grinned as she
>whacked him from behind his knees with the mops stick.
Joel: Works every time.
Crow: <Seiya> Thank GOD I didn't ask her to clean out the cannons.
>His knees buckled and she took the iron bucket and shoved it on his
>head.
Joel: And here's the part where Daffy... err, I mean Usagi, hits the
bucket with the mop handle and there's Seiya vibrating like he's
inside a bell! Whew, funny!
>She then started to run away when a pair of arms wrapped themselves
>around her waist.
Crow: <sighs> And so our scene begins again.
Tom: <Tor Johnson> Time for go to bed!
Joel: Reed Richards?? Who let YOU onto this crossover? And what
will Sue think?
>She let out a shriek as she fell backwards, onto the man who grabbed
>her. She looked up and saw Seiya, with the bucket still on top of his
>head smiling down at her.
Crow: Never before has a desperate escape attempt been so darn
playful.
Joel: I'm still trying to figure out where she'd escape *to*.
>The moonlight can play so many tricks as it made him glow like
>an angel.
Tom: No, that was the three layers of Vaseline.
>"Odango, you should not have done that!" Seiya then grabbed her legs
>and pulled her whole body closer to him. He stared down at her. His
>eyes twinkled with playfulness. For some odd reason, Usagi felt safe
>with him.
Crow: If the last two paragraphs didn't really happen, how come I'm
sadder on the inside?
>Suddenly, her stomach let out a loud rumble. Seiya looked at her
>surprised and burst out laughing.
Joel: <Seiya> I... I have NO idea what I'm supposed to be feeling
here! Not a clue! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Crow: <Usagi> I... I think we've cracked!
>"I haven't eaten in hours!" She hissed at him.
>
>"Well, you do need to loose some weight…" He teased.
Tom: You're on a pirate ship, that problem pretty much takes
care of itself!
>Usagi pushed herself away from him. She started to get up when she
>saw that Seiya wasn't paying any attention to her. Suddenly her hair
>was yanked.
Joel: <Usagi> Gee, you're only the 400th fanboy to do that to
me... today.
>"You're not getting away that easy!" He stood up and picked her
>up. He carried her out onto the deck and tossed her down.
Tom: Then he raced her down the ice towards the opposing
goal, fortunately for Usagi, his shot went wide and she flipped
over the glass to freedom!
>He then tossed her the mop and bucket again.
Joel: <Seiya> Now in this scene, you're the Star Wars kid. I need
some film styles from the audience now...
>"I will be watching you, Odango." He then turned his back to her and
>waved as he left her alone on the deck. "Ja!"
Tom: <hums the Battle Hymn of the Republic>
Joel: <Seiya> These decks are as dirty as hell, and you're not gonna
take it anymore!
Crow: <Usagi> YEAH! No, wait...
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
>
>Minako gave Rei a different meal. Rei wrinkled her nose in disgust.
>"What the hell is this?"
Joel: <Minako> Seagull braised in Aqua Velva. I don't have a whole
lot to work with...
>Minako studied the plate. "Um, potatoes, green smock and chopped
>fish of some sort."
>
>Rei raised an eyebrow. "Who made it?"
Tom: Clearly, someone who thought a smock was used for more than
finger-painting.
>"Um… it was something I scrounged up…" Minako said nervously.
Crow: There are food lockers, and foot lockers. One is more
appropriate for dinner than the other.
>Rei slammed her hands on the table. "Do you want me to give you to
>these men?"
>
>Minako looked around the room at the men who licked their lips.
>"Errr…. NO!"
>
>Rei grabbed the girl's collar.
Tom: Really throws herself into her role, doesn't she?
>"Then I suggest you get me something else!"
Joel: What more could you want, gravy?
>Makato walked into the room. "No fret, Rei. I have some fantastic
>chicken filet!"
>
>Rei let go of Minako and sat down. "Thank GOD! I thought we were to
>starve!"
Crow: <Makoto> Thankfully a large chicken shark passed by the
boat and hearing of our plight, flung itself onto the deck out of pure
selflessness.
Tom: I always wondered what happened to El Pollo Diablo.
>Minako let out a sigh and she backed out of the room. She walked up
>to the deck. She looked towards captain Yaten's quarters. She saw a
>glimpse of the white hair. "I hate him." She muttered.
Joel: <Minako> And his toupee.
>"You and me both."
>
>Minako jumped, startled. "Usagi! You're cleaning the deck?"
Crow: <Usagi> No, I'm slobbering like a waterfall cause I'm just
so hungry. Putz.
>Usagi tossed the mop down and stomped on it. "Yeah, that Seiya is a
>total jerk!"
>
>Minako laughed. "I think he is nicer then Yaten."
Tom: So we've gone from pirate adventure to harlequin novel to
junior high school drama.
Crow: I thought that this was the Pensacola, Florida "Hooters"
restaurant.
>Suddenly, Usagi's face went pale and something grabbed Minako. "I
>heard that. Thank you for agreeing with me that I am a mean pirate!
>I am the most handsome and meanest pirate around!"
Joel: <Seiya> Even my mom says so!
Crow: You can tell by the way he orders his crew.... well, these two
girls around.
>Minako looked up at the conceded Yaten. "Handsome? You are so vein!"
Joel: <Yaten> Yeah, well, you're just a dumb wrench!
Tom: <Minako> Oooh! You are such an alcohol!
Joel: <Yaten> Beach!
Tom: <Minako> Pluck!
Joel: <Yaten> Slush!
>Yaten glared at her. "I am not!"
>
>"Are too!"
>
> "NOT!"
>
>"TOO!!!!!!!!!"
>
>"NOT!!!"
Joel: This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I think
"swashbuckling".
Tom: Finally some authentic 18th century dialogue!
Crow: Next time on 'Ship of Tools'...
>Yaten yanked Minako over to the wheel where a pirate stirred the
>boat. "I think it's time to show you who is boss."
Tom: <Yaten> You have one hour to make a cake in the shape of my ass!
>He let go of Minako as he placed his hand on the wheel. He then
>glared at the pirate. "Leave."
>
>The pirate rushed off in fear. Yaten took over the wheel.
Crow: <Yaten> Tom Bodette told me he'd keep a light on.
Joel: <Yaten> Krusty Burger, here we come!
>"I hate stirring this ship." He looked at Minako. "Would you like to
>stir it?"
Tom: <Yaten> Arrg, it's giving me tennis elbow.
Crow: Anyone getting nasty flashbacks to "Captain Ron"?
>Minako shook her head. She wanted off the damn boat!
Crow: She and us both.
Joel: <Minako> As God as my witness... we will NOT being making
ANOTHER RUN!!!
>Yaten grabbed her and pulled her in front of him so that she faced
>the wheel. He grabbed her hands and placed them on the wheel. He
>then smiled.
Tom: <Yaten, seductive> You steer, I'll drive.
Joel: <Minako> Gee, that razor sharp CORAL looks inviting!
>"Good, now you can stir this ship."
Crow: All this scene needs now is Kenny Loggins.
>He then let go and his smile broadened as he heard Minako scream and
>fly about a foot away from the wheel.
Tom: <Yaten> Har har har! I love playin' that prank on me shipmates!
Don't worry, it's safe to touch now. *ZAPPP* Har har har!
>He turned around and grabbed the wheel. "Dumb wench! You could have
>made the ship crash!"
Crow: <Yaten> What idiot put you in charge of... uh... let's not
speak of this again.
Joel: Next, he's going to invite her to load a cannon.
>Minako stood up. She glared at the captain who glared back at her.
>"I HATE YOU!" She yelled and then rushed off of the deck.
Tom: She'll never let you sketch her naked now, chump.
Joel: <Rei> Hey Captain, how'd the wheel bit go over?
Crow: <Yaten> Oh, shut up.
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Joel: Have you ever just... gazed at the scene change in the
night sky?
Tom: Why no... I haven't.
Crow: Let's try it now.
[All stare at the scene change in abject wonder and peaceful
contemplation]
>Usagi felt the sun start to warm her skin.
Tom: <Usagi> In fact it's blistering up! Oh no! I used baby oil
by mistake!
>The sun was rising. She let out a sigh. She then heard waves crashing
>into the boat. She opened her eyes and gasped. It wasn't a dream...
Joel: <Gilligan> Skipper! SKIPPER! We've got another body on
the island!
Crow: <Skipper> Quick, shove a sail up her ass and let's get the fuck
out of here!
Joel: <shocked> Crow!
Crow: <shakes his head> Whoa... flashed back to 1998 for a moment
there.
>she was still on the pirate ship! She sat up and looked over at the
>pirate who smiled down at her.
Crow: Which was truly a lovely sight with no teeth.
Tom: <Pirate> Lost me pearlies in a fierce battle with a bottle
of grog. That cork showed me no mercy!
>"Oh? I thought I would have to use this." He said as he showed her
>the bucket that she had used to clean the deck with the night before.
Joel: <Usagi> OK! OK! I know what it means! You don't need to
beat me over the head with it!
>The pirate glanced in the bucket and shrugged his shoulders. "Oh
>well, why waste the water?" He then dumped the contents on Usagi who
>was wide-awake already. "SEIYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Joel: <Seiya> Come on, splashdance! You know, the... oh, forget it!
>Seiya laughed and dropped the bucket as he ran off. Usagi grabbed the
>mop and rushed off after him. She was furious! How dare he?
Crow: She's going to clean his clock! And swab a few decks
afterward...
Tom: Usagi Tsukino IS The Fast and the Furious!
>Suddenly, someone grabbed her from behind. She used the mop to whack
>the person.
Tom: <Usagi> I have another job for you, Mr. Libman. Make sure it
looks like an accident.
>"ARGH!!!!!! GIVE ME THAT!!!"
>
>Usagi recognized the voice instantly.
Crow: <Ralph Edwards> Usagi Tsukino, THIS IS YOUR LIFE!!!
>Captain Yaten.
Joel: Cool, a new character to... oh, right.
>He yanked the mop from her grasp and yanked her to the center of
>the deck.
Tom: <Yaten> YOU MISSED A SPOT!!!!!!!
Joel: <Yaten> Hands and knees, no cleaning with your feet!
>Seiya was already long gone.
Crow: <Seiya> Fear not brave senshi! For I shall... wait, do I have
the right script here?
>"I should just make you walk the plank. However, I have a punishment
>for you that is even better then that!" He pulled something out of
>his pocket and suddenly, her head felt lighter, a whole lot lighter.
Tom: <Yaten> You lightweight, you haven't even sniffed the cork yet!
>She glanced sideways and saw golden strings falling everywhere.
>Wait, it was not golden string... it was her hair! She gasped in
>horror as she felt the rest of the hair from the other bun gets
>sliced as well.
Crow: Which one, the rye or the kaiser?
Tom: I really hope she doesn't hold a "Grudge" or anything...
>Tears built up in her eyes, but she blinked them back. She would not
>gratify him with tears.
Joel: She would, as always, stiff him on the tip.
>Suddenly she was turned around to face Yaten.
>
>Yaten grinned. "Much better!"
Tom: <Usagi> Couldn't you have practiced on a Barbie doll or
something first?
>She glared at him.
>
>Yaten studied her face.
Joel: <Yaten> I can take care of that mustache too, if you want?
>She still glared at him...
>
>Yaten's eyes fell towards her chest.
>
>She still glared at him....
Crow: <Yaten> What? You stared me down! Where else am I
supposed to look?
>Yater put his knife in his mouth and carefully picked up the locket
>she wore. He flicked it open.
>
>"NO! Don't!" She yelled.
Tom: Usagi winced as a ear-splitting rendition of the 'U.S. Marine
Corp Hymn' blared from the locket.
>Too late. Yaten eyed the contents in her locket. He pulled out a
>piece of paper and shook it open. He studied it for a moment.
Joel: I owe you one plot, signed God.
Crow: Too late, God, only a miracle could save us.
>He then looked at her necklace. He fingered the locket and then
>yanked it off of her neck. He then grabbed the knife out of his
>mouth with the same hand that he had the locket in.
Crow: He then juggled the knife and the locket in one hand while
patting his head with the other.
Joel: <Usagi> *clap clap clap*
Tom: Ironically enough, both the pirates AND the tricks are stupid.
>"Well Well… I do believe I have found something of absolute value...
Tom: The geothermic nucleus?
Joel: The secret of the Caramilk bar?
Crow: I'm still holding out for a point to this plot.
>Usagi... or should I say, Lady Usagi?
Joel: We're headed towards that stupid "don't call me late for
dinner" punchline, aren't we?
Crow: Yes. Yes, we are.
>Heir to the fortune that was suppose to be mine... and to think, I was
>going to not take you..."
Tom: But he just couldn't pass up the chance to cash in all those
frequent flyer miles Usagi banked by flying from Japan to the West
Indies.
>Yaten grinned as he looked deeply into her eyes, as if he was
>searching her soul. "I bet you don't know anything of me... huh?"
>
>Usagi kicked him.
Crow: <Usagi> I know you're not wearing a codpiece.
>"Like why the hell would I know anything of a disgusting pirate
>like you?!"
>
>Yaten wiggled his nose. "You stink."
>
>Usagi rolled her eyes. "I wonder why?" She said sarcastically.
Joel: That's where I'd seen him before! Cousin Yaten on Bewitched.
>Yaten started to yank on her dress. He used his knife to slice at
>the dress.
>
>"HEY!" Usagi yelled.
Tom: <Yaten> We need more fan service, stat!
Crow: <Usagi, sobbing> I have no more boob to gi-i-ive!
>Yaten ignored her as he kept searching for something. "Strip!"
>
> Usagi gulked at him. "What?!"
>
>"You heard me! Strip damn it!"
Joel: <Yaten> This old paint ain't gonna peel itself off
the wall!
Crow: He just wants to wear the dress.
>Minako rushed over. "Usagi!" She was in shock at the sight. Usagi's
>hair was now shoulder length, but still in their buns.
Tom: They attached it to her chin, so that she could have a beard
to stroke.
Joel: Arr, Palebeard.
>Yaten had a knife and was slicing up Usagi's dress. He stopped and
>smiled at the other girl.
Joel: <Yaten> Your alterations will be ready Thursday.
Crow: <Usagi> Next time, try the zipper, asshole.
>"GET HER!" He barked, even though it was only the three of them on
>the deck.
Tom: Nonetheless, a confused Minako quickly put herself in a
headlock.
>Suddenly, a mob of hugh pirates ran over to Minako. She let out a
>scream and tried to run away.
Joel: They should really find the spot where all these pirates are
spawning from and kill it.
>Yaten gestured for the other pirates to pull her to him. He let go
>of Usagi and Usagi was instantly was grabbed by another pirate.
Crow: Was she now?
Joel: Puff, puff, pass.
>Yaten eyed the other girl. "Why did I not recognize you two? Why is
>it that I over looked the most valuable treasure?"
Tom: <Yaten> To think an old pirate like me overlooked your
booty.
>He moved his knife so that it caught the sunlight and shined in to
>Minako's face.
Crow: Lens flare doesn't translate well to fanfiction.
>He felt around the collar of her dress until his fingers grasped a
>chain. He yanked it out and Minako's eyes widened.
Tom: <Minako> MAMA... MAMA... Dammit! I hate it when people
do that to me!
>"That's mine!" She quickly kicked at Yaten. Yaten smiled triumphantly
>as he grasped the chain and yanked it from her neck.
Crow: And reversed time apparently.
>He put the two lockets together and studied them. "Now this is a
>prize!"
Joel: He's starting his own Mr. T collection.
Crow: He's got a LOOOOONG way to go then.
>Minako started to kick the other Pirates. "LET ME GO!"
Tom: <Minako> Karate KICK! Karate KICK! W-Why isn't this working!?
>Usagi bit one. "YUCK!"
Joel: Yeah, they're not even clean.
Crow: <Usagi> Needs more salt! *Gargg gargg gargg*...
>Yaten turned around and quickly sliced up Minako's dress.
Tom: This fanfic just HATES clothes, is the author a nudist or
something?
>She let out a scream of utter humiliation.
Tom: <Minako> UTTER HUMILIATION!!!
>"There it is, the mark of the blessed child!" Yaten's smile broadened
>even more as he tore Minako's dress away from a birthmark on her
>shoulder.
Crow: Oh, crap, she's a Stonemason.
Joel: Isn't this the basis of Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters from
Beverly Hills?
>It was in the shape of a star. He went over to Usagi and tore the
>shoulder of her dress off. A shape of a C was there… or a crescent
>moon.
Tom: Actually, the C means that she's a registered copyright. Got
it, pirate?
Joel: <Usagi> Shit, I don't even remember getting that... how
high was I?
>He narrowed his eyes. There, before him, were two ladies of an old
>bloodline… that were filthy rich
Joel: Daphne from "Scooby Doo" and Miss Haversham?
Tom: (laughing) Sure, why not?
>His eyes sparkled with joy. "Boys, we have a new quest!"
Crow: Stop the evil Sariens from stealing the Star Generator?
Tom: Arrest the Death Angel before he floods Lytton with drugs?
Joel: Save Speilburg from Baba Yaga and become a Hero?
Crow: Get laid in Lost Wages?
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
>
>Seiya watched as Makato made breakfast. "Could you give me a portion
>for the two girls?"
Joel: <Makoto> Is it STILL breakfast!? I feel like I've been in here
for the whole fanfic!
>Makato looked back at Seiya and smiled. "They have gone all day
>with out eating, haven't they?" She said referring to the day before.
Crow: They're less pirates and more REALLY dysfunctional family,
aren't they?
>"Hai. I feel bad for them." Seiya smiled at the girl. "Don't tell
>any one though, alright?"
>
>Makato winked at him and continued to cook.
Tom: Soon, crystal meth for all!
Joel: That makes the other two lunch ladies, and all the pirates are
little second graders on recess, right?
>Seiya let out a sigh and walked out to the dock. Golden feathers
>caught his eyes as they floated by him.
Crow: <Seiya> Man the cannons! We've been invaded by Banjo-Kazooie!
>He looked ahead to see piles of golden hair blowing away in the wind
>as Yaten glowed over some object. Seiya couldn't see anything more
>cause of all of the other pirates who were snickering.
Tom: <Yaten> I knew I shouldn't have drank that irradiated grog.
>Seiya walked up to them and then gasped. Odango's hair was sliced
>off! Plus her clothes we sliced into pieces.
Joel: <Seiya> It's okay, you're still more feminine than
Carrie-Ann Moss.
Crow: <Usagi> *sniff* Thanks.
>Along with her cousin who still had her hair. His heart stopped
>beating. Her long beautiful hair.
Joel: Sentence fragments. Just thoughts!
Crow: I regret she has one wig to give to her country.
>Seiya saw the look of hate on her face, and it was aimed at
>Yaten. Seiya saw that Yaten held a knife. Without thinking, Seiya
>yanked out his own knife.
Crow: Where's Paul Hogan when you need him?
Tom: Usagi countered with a spoon.
Joel: I hope they checked those into their luggage.
>SLICE!
>
>Silence.
Joel: Best. Pizza commercial. EVER.
>White feathery hair began to mingle with the blonde hair.
Tom: <white hair> Aren't all these follicles phonies?
>"...."
>
>Seiya looked in his hand, which now held Yaten's ponytail. He
>smiled at himself as he let it fall onto the ground.
>
>"...."
Crow: With Special Guest Star: Golgo 13!
Joel: And with that, he stole Yaten's Quickening.
Tom: Even the scene changes are phoning it in at this point.
>Minako looked at the two pirates. She was scared… Yaten's face was
>full of horror and shock.
Crow: And an oily T-zone too. Don't pirates ever scrub?
>Seiya put his knife back into his pocket and looked at the girls.
Joel: <Seiya> Don't give me your wallets! Wait, I messed up...
>He winked at them and then rushed away.
Crow: These are truly the pirates who don't do anything.
Tom: Rushed away WHERE? They're on a frigging SHIP!
>Yaten's face turned bright red suddenly.
>
>"MY HAIR!!!! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Suddenly Yaten erupted.
Tom: "Oh, hi drama!"
>He turned to where Seiya once stood. "I AM GOING TO KILL HIM!!!!"
>
>"What do you think I would have done to you for doing the same thing
>to me?!" Usagi screamed.
>
>Yaten didn't even hear her. His face was red and he withdrew his
>sword. "SEIYA!!!!!!"
Joel: I think he's made his exclamation point by now.
>Yaten then vanished as he rushed off after Seiya.
Tom: *splash*
Crow: <Yaten> I'M DOWN HERE, YOU FOOLS!!!
>The pirates looked at each other, baffled by Seiya's attack. They
>then looked at the two women who they held in their grasp. Hardly any
>clothes were left on the women.
Joel: <Pirate> Should we sing a song or something?
Tom: <Pirate> Yeah, a shanty! That's really fruity!
>"I wouldn't do anything if I were you…" came a cold female voice.
Crow: Yeah, why start now, huh?
>The pirates all looked up as Rei walked up to the girls. "Dresses
>never work on the ship any ways." She told the two.
Tom: Only the people INSIDE the dresses work on the ship.
So, start rowing.
>"CURSE YOU SEIYA! I HATE RUNNING!!!!"
>
>Rei shook her head. "My poor brother. He let his feelings get the
>better of him again."
Joel: <Rei> He'll never be a Jedi at this rate.
>Usagi crouched down and touched her hair. Yaten's own hair still
>mostly was in its tie, as Seiya cut it just an inch below his scalp.
Crow: BELOW his scalp!? Owie!
>Usagi looked up at Rei. "Why would he do something so crazy?"
>
>Sweat drop.
Joel: <Rei> That's nothing, you should see him sell furniture.
Tom: Everything else in here is pretty frigging random, why are we
asking *now*?
>"You do not know?" Rei said in disbelief.
>
>Usagi gathered her hair. "No…"
Joel: <Rei> He once clubbed a seal to make a better deal! No bull!
>Minako shook her head. "He did it for you, dummy!"
Crow: <Usagi> I would have rather he got some Scotch tape and helped
me put my hair back.
>Usagi didn't falter. She just stared at her hair that had been freed
>from her head. "Oh."
Tom: Her hair was still jumping up and down, yelping pitifully.
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
>
>A/N
>
>Woo Hoo! Things are getting exciting!
Crow: "Woo Hoo! No, they're not!"
>What was it that Yaten discovered? Will Seiya live after this day?
Joel: Will the author's notes make any sense?
Tom: Will the Sailor Senshi show up in their natural environment: the
Seven Seas?
>HEY! What's going on with Ami and Taiki?!? ^_^
Crow: <author> Aw, crap! I forgot all about them! Oh well, plenty
of other chapters to stick in there somewhere!
Tom: I thought we ignored all the B plots here.
>Don't forget to … REVIEW!!!!!!!!!
>
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Crow: LESS FAFFING ABOUT, MORE STABBY STABBY!!!!!
Tom: NEEDS MORE VOLUME!!!!!!
Joel: Oh goodness, don't ask for more volume. The author will assume
that means Pantene Pro-V.
>Prieview:
Joel: No riff necessary here, folks.
>Yaten glared at the pirates. He unfolded the two map pieces and
>placed them side-by-side. He studied them.
Tom: <Yaten> What's this squiggly line mean?
Joel: <Usagi> Water.
Tom: <Yaten> That's why there's so many of them!
>"Bring me the wenches!"
Crow: Based on this fic's previous knack for grammar, I'm guessing
he really needs to tighten his nuts.
>One pirate cleared his throat. "Um, Captain… Seiya took the girls…"
>
>"WHAT?!?!?!?!"
Tom: <Seiya> Don't worry, girls, I don't have to return you till
next Tuesday!
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
>
>Uh Oh, Seiya is being such a bad boy! ^_~
Crow: COPS is filmed on location with the man and women of Sailor
Moon. All pirates are suspect and proven fruity as far as we saw.
>Don't forget to check out my other stories!
Joel: They're serialized daily in about eighty Twitter posts.
Tom: I'm amazed none of the pirates sparkled in the daylight...
Crow: No, they're saving that for Chapter 7: Barf.
Joel: Sooo, any final thoughts, guys?
Tom: <Patrick Stewart> And Yaten piled on the former senshi's
hump... the sum of all the rage and hate... if his head had been a
cannon, he would have shot his hair upon her...
Crow: What he said.
Joel: <chuckling> Okay, let's get out of here before Tom loses
his mind completely...
Tom: Call me YATEN!
Crow: Too late.
(Joel picks up Tom and follows Crow out of the theater)
* * *
SATELLITE OF LOVE
As the trio emerged onto the bridge, Joel noticed a light flashing
on the counter. "Hey guys, we got a call on the Hexfield Viewscreen!"
he exclaimed.
"Great, we're overdue for some booty." Crow muttered as Joel
walked over to the counter and gave the button a tap.
The Hexfield slowly opened to reveal nothing but snow. A
distorted radio broadcast could barely be heard crackling in the
background.
"...is... *zzzt*... pinned down... *zzzt*... EVAC immed...
*zzzt*... out of time... *zzzt*..."
Joel fiddled with the controls. "Hello! This is the Satellite
of Love responding to unknown contact, can you hear me?" he
replied.
"YES!!! We... *zzzt*... stranded over... *zzzt*...forgotten...
*zzzt*..."
"Can you boost your gain? We need more signal!" Joel replied.
"Damn... *zzzt*... I can't... *zzzt*... BOY!... *zzzt*"
Joel looked at the bots and was about to throw up his hands when
the snow suddenly died down and a shaky image appeared on the screen.
"Hey, isn't that..." Crow began.
"*zzzt* ...got through! Um, mayday, mayday! This is Sail... this
is Ami Mizuno, an ordinary peasant girl... who happens to know
how to build a video communicator out of stone knifes and
bearskins... heh..." Ami cringed as she glanced around at the small
crowd of people surrounding her. "These people and I are trapped
in this fanfic and..."
"We're requesting immediate EVAC from the area! Repeat! We
need a rescue effort here, pronto!" a wild-eyed Mamoru rudely
interrupted.
"Arrh!" A huge and terrifying muscular man with a beard and one
eye missing raised his torch and nodded his agreement.
"I'm getting to that, guys, please calm down!" Ami pleaded with
them before speaking into her communicator again. "I'm not getting
any response from my... err... 'tech support', so I'm appealing to you
to please help us out of here."
"Wait, you were all characters in the first two chapters of the
fanfic, right? How does that make you stranded?" Tom asked.
"All I know is this fanfic hasn't been updated for years and
we have no idea how to get in touch with the author..."
"She is gone, never to be seen again." a guy suddenly
interrupted.
"Shut up, you're not helping! Who the hell are you anyway!?"
Mamoru snapped at the man who gave him an odd look before
walking away. Ami sighed before continuing.
"Look, I'll be happy to answer all your questions if you can get
us out of here. Our coordinates are..."
"Well wait, uh... we'd like to help you, really, but we're kinda
trapped in space ourselves..." Joel replied sheepishly.
There was a long pause as Ami stared blankly at the screen.
"What?" she finally uttered.
"Yeah, we're pretty much in the same boat as you. We don't
even have a communicator to call anyone else for help, we can only
talk to people that call us on the Hexfield or the mad scientists that
trapped us up here in the first place." Joel explained.
"Smooth exposition there, Joel." Crow nodded.
"Oh, that's great! That's just great! There's no hope now!
We're doomed, man! DOOMED!!!" Mamoru wailed.
"TUX-BOY!" Everyone else around him suddenly shouted. Mamoru
immediately fell silent and collapsed on his butt, looking dejected.
"Please forgive him, the author didn't give him much to do in
this fanfic and he's a little stir crazy." Ami helpfully explained.
"What about Taiki? Wasn't he helping you out before?" Crow
inquired.
Ami blew out some air. "Oh yeah, big load of help there..." she
muttered, the frustration in her voice evident now. "He and his
horse dumped me shortly after rescuing me, and told me I wasn't his
concern before riding off... same verse as the first."
"What a dickweed." Crow sympathized.
"Tell me about it... I was THIS close to marching back over to
Yaten and risking my life just to spite him but...meh." Ami shrugged.
"Man, that's rough... still, maybe you can contact someone else
who can help you. Your signal strength must be pretty powerful if it
can reach us all the way up here in orbit." Joel said.
"Yeah, maybe... in the meantime, I'll be thinking up a new plan
to save my friends held prisoner on the ship... I don't suppose you
know how they're doing?" Ami inquired.
"Uhh, well, Minako's alternating between hating and being
hopelessly in love with the ship's abusive captain..." Joel began.
"And Usagi's in love with his brother, who..." Crow continued.
"N-Never mind." Ami sighed. "It seems some things never
change. Maybe I'll just catch up on my reading for a while
instead..."
"Ooh, can I join you! I'm already naked!" Tom exclaimed.
"Huh?" Ami blinked as Joel yanked Tom away from the Hexfield.
"Don't mind him, he's just suffering from fanfic lag." Joel explained.
"Oh. Well, it was nice talking with you guys, but I'd better get
back to the village and tend to my patients..." Ami said.
"OK, sorry we couldn't be more help! Good luck to you!" Joel
apologized with a smile.
"Thanks, you too! Good luck to both of us!" Ami replied with a
smile of her own as the Hexfield viewscreen drew to a close.
"Wow, you know, suddenly I don't feel so alone in this vast
little universe of ours..." Tom said wistfully.
"Billions and billions of Senshi..." Crow added in his best Carl
Sagan.
"Makes you think, don't it?" Joel nodded.
The trio spent a long moment staring out the window of the
Satellite before Joel noticed the red light flashing on the counter.
and gave it a quick press.
"What do YOU think, sirs?"
* * *
MEANWHILE IN ANOTHER MSTING UNIVERSE JUST AROUND
THE CORNER...
* * *
---Deep Thirteen
"Oh, I think you and your little friends will be seeing dear Ami
again before you know it, Mike..." Dr. Forrester chuckled evily as
the camera panned down to a chess board with a lone white king on
one side; a black pawn and knight flanking a black king on the
other side.
He casually moved the white king forward one square. Then,
with a few quick flicks of his finger, he tipped over all three black
pieces, one by one, saving the king for last. As it rolled along the
board, Dr. F looked up at the camera with a smug grin on his face.
"Check and mate, Nelson. Frank, press the Ruy Lopez."
"Just a sec, Dr. F, I'm watching Stewart pitch it over to
Colbert. How do they expect to be believable when the Daily Show is
so blatantly left while Colbert is supposed to be righty?"
Dr. F snatched the remaining king from the board and beaned Frank
in the head with it. As Frank slowly slid to the floor, he showed his
dedication by hitting his button on the way down.
--POOF!--
"That's called a sacrifice, Frank."
..AND THE MSTINGS
CONTINUE...
We hope you enjoyed this and comments are very welcome.
(megane67@rogers.com) (zoogz@yahoo.com)
I've been MSTing for almost thirteen years now and I want to thank
each and every person who's send me words of support and encouragement
and who have helped me with my MSTs over the years. I treasure
every piece of fan mail I receive and I consider it a great honor that
some people have dedicated their MSTings to me and tell me that I
helped encourage them to start MSTing. To all of you, thank you from
the bottom of my heart and I hope I can continue to inspire and make
you laugh for a long time to come. :)
I'd like to give personal thanks to Zoogz, who's in-depth C&C and
riffs for this MSTing are always appriciated and for making the
MSTing process so much fun! :)
- Zoogz's 'Mystery Science Cinema' series can be found at
http://www.nabiki.com/mst/zoogz/mst/ including his latest MSTings:
'Finding Your Place' (Rurouni Kenshin)
And
'Eye of the Tiger' (Neon Genesis Evangelion / Xenogears)
Other recent MSTings we've done:
- 'Loki Unties The Wolf' (Utena)
- 'The Life I Left Behind' (Multi X-Over)
- 'Wild Senshi' Pt. 1-2 (Sailor Moon / Ranma 1/2 / Yu-Gi-Oh)
- 'My Kid's An Alien!' Pt. 1-3 (Urusei Yatsura)
- 'Friends, Family and San Francisco' Pt. 1-2 (Sailor Moon)
- 'Dragon of the Night' (Utena)
***All of Zoogz and my MSTings and the MSTings we've contributed
to can be found in the various categories at:***
'A MSTing for All Seasons'
http://www.nabiki.com/mst
'Everything What Is Crap!'
http://svamcentral.org/ewic/
>Ami looked over to see the pirate ship had docked on an island. "How
>can we ever get to it and save the others?"
>
>Taiki lowered Ami off of his horse. "That's none of my concern." He
>then rode off, leaving Ami behind.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations
are trademarks of and (c) 2010 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights
reserved.
Keep Circulating the Fanfics...
(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)
(The future isn't what it used to be...)
"MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON FIVE)
EPISODE 46: THE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN YATEN PT. 2
(A Sailor Moon MSTing)
MSTed From the Desks of Megane 6.7 and Zoogz
(megane67@rogers.com) (zoogz@yahoo.com)
This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should
be inferred.
Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc.
are the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just
covering our collective asses here folks...
"The Adventures of Captain Yaten" is the property of My Interests.
We attempted to contact her by e-mail but there was no reply and
we sincerely hope she does not take offense to this MSTing of
her work. It's all meant in good fun. ;p
Warning: This MSTing is rated PG-13 for violence, coarse language
and mature content.
* * *
(Door 6: It's a metal door with no knob. Before you can do
anything, it's yanked off its hinges from the other side by a tow
truck.)
(Door 5: It's an old fashioned elevator. Both sets of doors open
for you as you pass through.)
(Door 4: It's made of dominoes. You tip the lead one over and watch
as the pile slowly lowers until it's half its original size and you
step over it.)
(Door 3: It's filled with cute stuffed toys. You cuddle them for
awhile before proceeding.)
(Door 2. It's solid black marble. An Ankh floats from behind you and
touches the door. The door vanishes.)
(Door 1: It's a castle gate that rises into the ceiling, revealing a
drawbridge that slowly lowers to the ground. You cross it
cautiously, looking for moat monsters.)
(Door .7: It's a swirling blue vortex. Suddenly a large hand
reaches out of its center and pulls you inside.)
Joel emerged from the vortex into the theater with Tom in his
arms, Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind.
Stepping over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the
theater on his own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater
seats and sat next to him, Crow sitting on his right.
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Crow: <doctor> Now, let's just take a look at your MRI results
and... HOLY CRAP!
>Taiki and Ami rode on a horse going north. Ami smiled as she felt
>the air blow through her hair.
Joel: <author> *click* OK, one more... *click* Nice! I think I
have my book cover!
Tom: It just so happened that Taiki was the southbound end of a
northbound horse.
>"Look, there they are!" Taiki said.
>
>Ami looked over to see the pirate ship had docked on an island. "How
>can we ever get to it and save the others?"
Tom: I'd say it takes a miracle, but they're already on it.
>Taiki lowered Ami off of his horse. "That's none of my concern." He
>then rode off, leaving Ami behind.
Joel: [laughs]
Crow: We don't care too much either, Ami.
>Ami nodded. He had a different mission. She understood it well.
Crow: Convincing Tuxy to give this 'fic another go?
Joel: Starring in a crappy Final Fantasy spin-off?
>However, she could never ever fight all by herself. She was a
>doctor, not a hero.
Tom: She was a McCoy not a Hatfield!
Crow: <Ami> Take two pity trips and DON'T call me in the morning.
>She looked over at the ship. A white haired guy jumped off of the
>ship. She decided to sit on a rock and think out a plan.
Tom: I think that if she waits long enough, all the rest of the
sailors will throw themselves off too.
Joel: <Ami> Would you stop drowning so loud!? I'm
TRYING to think!
>She tapped her chin in thought. She could swim over to the ship;
>throw off the pirates… no no… that wouldn't work.
Crow: <Ami> Sorry, thought I was Kratos there for a second.
Tom: I have an extremely sinking feeling that Captain Ron will get
involved shortly.
Joel: <Ami> I'd use a rowboat as a submarine but Mythbusters
already busted it.
>She could go to a town that had even bigger ships and sail on the
>ship and blow up their pirate ship and save her friends...
Tom: ...charred bodies.
Joel: <Ami> That's it! I'll get the Goonies!
>She stood up and nodded. She will get help from a village nearby.
Crow: <Ami> Help me, Hefty Smurf! You're my only hope!
>She turned around and walked into a wet object.
Joel: <Ami> Oh wait, that's the ocean... glub glub...
>She looked up and saw the white haired pirate. He grinned down
>at her.
Tom: Wait, is this the captain or the guy with the beard or the
other guy with the hair? I'm lost.
Crow: <pirate> I'm canvassing for the Slightly Soggy Party, we
believe in subsidies for towels.
>"I think I remember you… I saw a friend of mine run off with you!"
>He grinned and grabbed the girl, tossing her on her shoulder.
>
>"IEEEE!!!!"
Joel: <Ami> ...you broke my collarbone, you IDIOT!
Tom: <pirate> Oh crap, Vince McMahon will surely be firing me
for this...
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Crow: <singing> Oh, sweet scene change of life, at last I've
found youuuuu...!
>Taiki heard her yell as he slowed down his horse. He looked back to
>see if he could see anything.
Joel: <Taiki> Geez, can't I leave you alone and defenseless for
one minute!?
>"Ami…" He turned his head and started to go the way he was going when
>he heard the captain's voice.
>
>"Taiki, I know you're near. Bring back our treasure map and nothing
>will happen to this blue haired girl…
Tom: Don't you know what blue hair means? She secretes a deadly
poison from her skin!
Joel: So how will we see all the weird anime hair colors if they're
hidden by pirate bandannas?
Crow: Don't worry, the amber and taupe eyes will still be visible.
>but, if you go… she will be fed to the sharks!"
Joel: <captain> We'll lock her in the Press Room and throw away
the key!
Tom: <Ami> NOOOOOOOOO!!!
>Taiki bit his lip. No, this is his problem. He got her involved.
Crow: <Taiki> I'm THIS close to retirement! But what about that
little girl!?
>"Damn map." He hated to see history getting messed up for vein
>reasons. He shook his head.
Tom: Heh, looks like history and Bela Lugosi have something in
common.
Joel: <Pirate> Aww, I cain't read one o' them mappy things! Got a
GPS loaded with the info?
>"Taiki! GO! HIDE! I don't care about myself! Save the map!"
>
>"SHUT UP!"
Crow: <Ami> Well, if you feel THAT way about it, give him the map
and go to hell.
Joel: Actually, that was the audience. They were getting restless.
>Taiki looked towards where her voice came from. She agreed with him?
>Taiki's heart started to beat faster.
Tom: Is this love at first sight or too much caffeine? Tune in
TOMORROW!
>A plan formed in Taiki's head as he ordered his horse to go back to
>Ami.
Crow: Finally, the REAL hero of the story is introduced!
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Joel: Damn these speedbumps, just when the story picks up any
momentum...
>Ami watched as Taiki rode in on his horse. "Taiki!"
Tom: Could be worse, at least it wasn't a Pinto.
>Yaten in return tossed Ami at Taiki.
Joel: <Taiki> I got her! I got her!! *thump* Uh... the sun was in
my eyes!
>"It's mine!" He picked up the map and opened it.
Crow: <Yaten> Let's see... "You are here, but the travelers
checks are..." YOU BASTARD!!
>He stared at it as Taki grabbed Ami and rode off. "TAIKI!!!!!! When
>I get you… I will shoot you myself!!!!"
Crow: I prefer to believe that's Ami talking.
Tom: Is it Taiki or Taki? Or Hawks?
Joel: We're expecting narrative integrity this far in?
>Yaten dropped the map and the map said; "Got you!"
Crow: <Yaten> Dammit. Next time, I'll demand the horse.
Joel: <Black Beauty> Damn right!
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Tom: Not from the scene change do I my judgment pluck; And yet
methinks I have comedy, But not to tell of good or evil fics, of
plagues, of dearths, or season two of 'The John Larroquette's Show''s
quality...
Joel: Thank you, Tommy Shakespeare.
>Hee hee.. Hope you all like the story thus far. Don't worry; it'll
>only get better.
Crow: It's like saying the only direction you can walk from the
South Pole is north.
Joel: <author> Wait till we get to the TRIVIA!!!
Tom: GAAH!?
>How is Ami going to save her friends?
Joel: <Ami> An internet petition! Those always work!
Crow: <Ami> Hmm... Save Our Sailors... that's catchy...
>Will Yaten loose his temper and make the two feisty girls walk the
>plank?
Tom: Is a bar of soap included with this dunking too?
>And Seiya, what is up his sleeves?
Joel: Hopefully, his arms.
>I thought that Rei would make a great pirate. Heehee.
Crow: So would James Buchanan, where's THAT fanfic?
Tom: Other awesome pirates: Sun Tsu, Stephen Harper, and Bozo
the Clown.
>Well, it's almost dinnertime… how will the crew deal with Usagi's
>cooking?
Joel: Frequent visits to the poop deck come to mind.
Crow: They'll poke the beaver once or twice, push it away, and break
out the Yogos.
>Find out… REVIEW!
Joel: Wow, this has all been one giant prologue for an episode of
Iron Chef?
>Chapter 3: Dinner
Crow: Chapter 4: Dessert.
Tom: Chapter 5: Urp.
Joel: Wait, we skipped breakfast? But that's the most important
chapter of the day!
>The night was setting and Makato called everyone in for dinner.
>Captain Yaten sat at the foot of the table, grumbling under his
>breath.
Joel: He was holding out for Chapter 6: Rum.
>All of the pirates avoided him like the pelage.
Tom: Ah yes, 'The Pelage'. The best-selling novel from Abbot
Hummus, author of other classics like 'The Ranger' and 'The Balls'.
Crow: Actually, Pelage was Usagi's latest attempt at a creamed
corn/riblet fusion.
>They all knew that when he grumbled like that, he wanted blood.
Joel: <Bela Lugosi> Preferably AB negative.
Crow: <Yaten> Blah, blah, blah...
>Minako and Usagi carried two big pots around the table as the pirates
>helped themselves to the stew.
Tom: It was about 75% blond hair.
Crow: <Usagi> We prefer "angel" hair.
>Makato leaned over Seiya and handed him a hamburger with everything
>on top. "I made this myself, while Usagi made everything else."
Tom: Thus leading to Seiya's foulest nightmare... one bishounen
and three girls sharing a pirate ship.
Joel: Arrg, come and knock on me door...
>Seiya smiled. "THANK YOU!"
Crow: <announcer> The part of Seiya will now be played by
Dr. Erhardt.
>He grabbed the burger and began eating it as if he had never had
>anything else to eat before.
Crow: Yes, because no meat is possibly fresher than that aboard
a pirate ship.
Tom: Are you nuts? This is steampunk, where refrigerators, Sailor
Scouts, horseback riding, reading by lanterns, and pirate ships all
coexist in harmony!
>Usagi stopped by Yaten. He looked up at her and glared at her.
>"Minako will bring me my stew."
Crow: <Yaten> You stick to your ale, wench!
Joel: Yaten was afraid his stew would come like his slippers,
half-nibbled.
>Usagi looked towards her cousin and walked away from Yaten. Minako
>walked up to him and he glared at her. "You shall serve me." Minako
>nodded and poured the stew into his bowl. He waved his hand and
>dismissed her. She walked over to Usagi.
Crow: <Minako> See? A quarter tip! He doesn't think I'm just some
two-bit floozy... err, waitaminute...
Joel: <Minako, whispering> I put the poison on the top AND the
bottom to be sure.
>Yaten took a bite of the stew. His eyes lit up and his face turned
>red. The other pirates looked at their food and dropped their spoons.
>Seiya licked his fingers and smiled.
Crow: Underneath, he seethed. Tabasco soup again! Those bitches
would pay.
>"WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS!" Yaten yelled as he spat fire everywhere.
>
>"Stew, with a twist!" Usagi said proudly.
Joel: Of pure naphtha.
>Yaten pulled out his gun and aimed it at her. "The "twist" is fire!
Tom: <Usagi> Yeah, I added this glowing orange flower, old recipe
given to me by a plumber.
>I should shoot you down right now!"
>
>Usagi didn't flinch. "Go ahead. It's not as if we're ever going to go
>home again."
Joel: I'm almost curious if Usagi will ask to see his conceal carry
permit.
Tom: <Usagi> Oooh, is that a Ruger?
Crow: <Yaten> Naaw, a H&K I picked up at the last port.
>Seiya quickly stood up. "I'll punish her, Captain. After all, she is
>my prisoner."
Tom: Forty lashes with his limp noodle, right?
Crow: <Seiya> In the name of the moon, I'll... punish...
Joel: <Usagi> *ahem*
>Yaten glared at him, but lowered his gun. "What do we eat now?"
>
>Minako sighed. Yaten glared at her. "What do you know how to cook?"
Crow: <Minako> Well, I have this goose... wait, forget I said that.
Joel: <Minako> I never knew, my sensei only spoke Swedish!
>Minako smiled. "Spicer stews."
>
>Yaten shook his head and sat down.
>
>More please!"
>
>Yaten raised an eyebrow as a pirate shoved his bowl towards Minako.
>She scooped out some of the stew and gave it to him.
Tom: Wait until they find out that Minako's been serving them their
dirty laundry for three days.
>"She is my servant; I do not want to ever hear you say please to her
>again." Yaten said as he got up.
Crow: <pirate> Here's some earplugs. MORE PLEASE!!!
>He glared at Makoto. "Make me a tuna platter. I will be in my
>quarters." Yaten then left the room.
Joel: But first he sat down, stood again, sat, glared, stood,
glared...
Crow: <Minako> What an eccentric performance.
>"Minako, will you stay here and serve the pirates while I make Yaten
>a Tuna plater?" Makato then left the room.
Tom: If she weaves the bones just right, she can make a plate and
a cup!
>Suddenly, none of the pirates were eating.
Joel: <Pirates> Tuna Plater was our best fisherman! Why'd you have
to cook him??
Tom: <Pirate> Now we'll have to go with Richard Hatch, and we hate
watching him fish. Yeech.
>A couple of them stared at her and narrowed their eyes.
Crow: Don't you mean, their *eye*?
Tom: I think that the only two pirates on the ship are John
Flansborough and John Linnell.
>Minako started to feel funny.
Crow: <Minako> What's the deal with airplane peanuts?
>MEN! BEHAVE!" Rei walked into the room and tossed her hat on the hat
>rack.
Joel: That's the worst Austin Powers impression I've ever heard.
Tom: Sadly, I'm half-expecting him to show up in about one more
chapter.
Crow: <Austin Powers> I'm on a *boat*, baby! Yeah!
>Her raven hair was loose and she wore a red shirt, and tight black
>pants.
Joel: She just came from the Aerosmith video where she was a body
double for Steven Tyler.
>She sat into her chair and held out a bowl to Minako. Minako quickly
>filled it.
Crow: ...with more bowls.
>Rei took a small sip of the stew and glared at Minako. She threw the
>bowl at Minako.
Tom: <Rei> HAVE some, it's TERRIFIC.
>"Did you make this?"
>
>"No ma'am. My cousin did." Minako said meekly.
>
>"I demand a different meal. NOW!"
Joel: <Rei> Something happy!
Crow: <Minako> It's a pirate ship, it's known for having the pantry
of a freaking Carnival Cruise.
>Minako quickly rushed out of the room.
>
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Tom: Next time on Hell's Galley...
Crow: <Chef Ramsay> How long?
Joel: <Minako> Two more minutes on the scene change, Chef!
Tom: Over on Set B, the Sailor Starlights were well in the middle
of the Trojan War....
>Seiya put his arms around Usagi. He put his head on top of her head.
Crow: Oh dear lord, it's Lego Porn!
>He didn't really want to punish Usagi.
Joel: <Seiya> Look, just... tell your mother I yelled at you and
don't do it again, okay? Now, go put on a sweater, honey.
>"If you are going to rape me, you better just get it done and over
>with as I have no chance."
Tom: <Usagi> Yep, just hold me down with your big muscular
arms, unbutton that sweaty white shirt that hides that ripped torso
underneath and DEFINITELY don't call me Bella while we're doing
it... I mean... while you're forcing yourself on me!
Joel: <Seiya> I'm on Team Yaten, sorry.
>Seiya twisted Usagi around to face him. The moonlight caught her
>hair and made his heart stop beating.
Crow: The lesson, never wear your hair loosely around dangerous
moonlight.
>"Odango, I would never do that to you."
>
>Usagi looked at him in awe.
Crow: <Usagi> Did... did you just tenderly refer to me as a
MEATBALL???
Tom: O solo mio!
>"Then why do you hold me so?"
Joel: <Seiya> Cause you're lovely to look at.
Crow: <Usagi> Consider me sold!
>Seiya regretfully let her go. He then walked to the other side of the
>room that he had taken her into. He grabbed a mop and a bucket.
Tom: <Usagi> Oh, I get it. You jackass... you want someone
THINNER. Than an 80-pound Japanese teenager. I see that she's blond
too, you two-timing son-of-a-bitch.
>"Here, scrub the deck." He had a reputation to keep
Crow: That's SWAB the deck, ya piss poor excuse for a pirate!
>and this was the only punishment that he could think of that would
>not hurt her so.
Tom: Two hours later, Usagi died of infection from a splinter.
Joel: Keeping your bed warm was hazardous duty, eh Seiya?
>Usagi took the mop from him and the bucket. She then grinned as she
>whacked him from behind his knees with the mops stick.
Joel: Works every time.
Crow: <Seiya> Thank GOD I didn't ask her to clean out the cannons.
>His knees buckled and she took the iron bucket and shoved it on his
>head.
Joel: And here's the part where Daffy... err, I mean Usagi, hits the
bucket with the mop handle and there's Seiya vibrating like he's
inside a bell! Whew, funny!
>She then started to run away when a pair of arms wrapped themselves
>around her waist.
Crow: <sighs> And so our scene begins again.
Tom: <Tor Johnson> Time for go to bed!
Joel: Reed Richards?? Who let YOU onto this crossover? And what
will Sue think?
>She let out a shriek as she fell backwards, onto the man who grabbed
>her. She looked up and saw Seiya, with the bucket still on top of his
>head smiling down at her.
Crow: Never before has a desperate escape attempt been so darn
playful.
Joel: I'm still trying to figure out where she'd escape *to*.
>The moonlight can play so many tricks as it made him glow like
>an angel.
Tom: No, that was the three layers of Vaseline.
>"Odango, you should not have done that!" Seiya then grabbed her legs
>and pulled her whole body closer to him. He stared down at her. His
>eyes twinkled with playfulness. For some odd reason, Usagi felt safe
>with him.
Crow: If the last two paragraphs didn't really happen, how come I'm
sadder on the inside?
>Suddenly, her stomach let out a loud rumble. Seiya looked at her
>surprised and burst out laughing.
Joel: <Seiya> I... I have NO idea what I'm supposed to be feeling
here! Not a clue! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Crow: <Usagi> I... I think we've cracked!
>"I haven't eaten in hours!" She hissed at him.
>
>"Well, you do need to loose some weight…" He teased.
Tom: You're on a pirate ship, that problem pretty much takes
care of itself!
>Usagi pushed herself away from him. She started to get up when she
>saw that Seiya wasn't paying any attention to her. Suddenly her hair
>was yanked.
Joel: <Usagi> Gee, you're only the 400th fanboy to do that to
me... today.
>"You're not getting away that easy!" He stood up and picked her
>up. He carried her out onto the deck and tossed her down.
Tom: Then he raced her down the ice towards the opposing
goal, fortunately for Usagi, his shot went wide and she flipped
over the glass to freedom!
>He then tossed her the mop and bucket again.
Joel: <Seiya> Now in this scene, you're the Star Wars kid. I need
some film styles from the audience now...
>"I will be watching you, Odango." He then turned his back to her and
>waved as he left her alone on the deck. "Ja!"
Tom: <hums the Battle Hymn of the Republic>
Joel: <Seiya> These decks are as dirty as hell, and you're not gonna
take it anymore!
Crow: <Usagi> YEAH! No, wait...
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
>
>Minako gave Rei a different meal. Rei wrinkled her nose in disgust.
>"What the hell is this?"
Joel: <Minako> Seagull braised in Aqua Velva. I don't have a whole
lot to work with...
>Minako studied the plate. "Um, potatoes, green smock and chopped
>fish of some sort."
>
>Rei raised an eyebrow. "Who made it?"
Tom: Clearly, someone who thought a smock was used for more than
finger-painting.
>"Um… it was something I scrounged up…" Minako said nervously.
Crow: There are food lockers, and foot lockers. One is more
appropriate for dinner than the other.
>Rei slammed her hands on the table. "Do you want me to give you to
>these men?"
>
>Minako looked around the room at the men who licked their lips.
>"Errr…. NO!"
>
>Rei grabbed the girl's collar.
Tom: Really throws herself into her role, doesn't she?
>"Then I suggest you get me something else!"
Joel: What more could you want, gravy?
>Makato walked into the room. "No fret, Rei. I have some fantastic
>chicken filet!"
>
>Rei let go of Minako and sat down. "Thank GOD! I thought we were to
>starve!"
Crow: <Makoto> Thankfully a large chicken shark passed by the
boat and hearing of our plight, flung itself onto the deck out of pure
selflessness.
Tom: I always wondered what happened to El Pollo Diablo.
>Minako let out a sigh and she backed out of the room. She walked up
>to the deck. She looked towards captain Yaten's quarters. She saw a
>glimpse of the white hair. "I hate him." She muttered.
Joel: <Minako> And his toupee.
>"You and me both."
>
>Minako jumped, startled. "Usagi! You're cleaning the deck?"
Crow: <Usagi> No, I'm slobbering like a waterfall cause I'm just
so hungry. Putz.
>Usagi tossed the mop down and stomped on it. "Yeah, that Seiya is a
>total jerk!"
>
>Minako laughed. "I think he is nicer then Yaten."
Tom: So we've gone from pirate adventure to harlequin novel to
junior high school drama.
Crow: I thought that this was the Pensacola, Florida "Hooters"
restaurant.
>Suddenly, Usagi's face went pale and something grabbed Minako. "I
>heard that. Thank you for agreeing with me that I am a mean pirate!
>I am the most handsome and meanest pirate around!"
Joel: <Seiya> Even my mom says so!
Crow: You can tell by the way he orders his crew.... well, these two
girls around.
>Minako looked up at the conceded Yaten. "Handsome? You are so vein!"
Joel: <Yaten> Yeah, well, you're just a dumb wrench!
Tom: <Minako> Oooh! You are such an alcohol!
Joel: <Yaten> Beach!
Tom: <Minako> Pluck!
Joel: <Yaten> Slush!
>Yaten glared at her. "I am not!"
>
>"Are too!"
>
> "NOT!"
>
>"TOO!!!!!!!!!"
>
>"NOT!!!"
Joel: This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I think
"swashbuckling".
Tom: Finally some authentic 18th century dialogue!
Crow: Next time on 'Ship of Tools'...
>Yaten yanked Minako over to the wheel where a pirate stirred the
>boat. "I think it's time to show you who is boss."
Tom: <Yaten> You have one hour to make a cake in the shape of my ass!
>He let go of Minako as he placed his hand on the wheel. He then
>glared at the pirate. "Leave."
>
>The pirate rushed off in fear. Yaten took over the wheel.
Crow: <Yaten> Tom Bodette told me he'd keep a light on.
Joel: <Yaten> Krusty Burger, here we come!
>"I hate stirring this ship." He looked at Minako. "Would you like to
>stir it?"
Tom: <Yaten> Arrg, it's giving me tennis elbow.
Crow: Anyone getting nasty flashbacks to "Captain Ron"?
>Minako shook her head. She wanted off the damn boat!
Crow: She and us both.
Joel: <Minako> As God as my witness... we will NOT being making
ANOTHER RUN!!!
>Yaten grabbed her and pulled her in front of him so that she faced
>the wheel. He grabbed her hands and placed them on the wheel. He
>then smiled.
Tom: <Yaten, seductive> You steer, I'll drive.
Joel: <Minako> Gee, that razor sharp CORAL looks inviting!
>"Good, now you can stir this ship."
Crow: All this scene needs now is Kenny Loggins.
>He then let go and his smile broadened as he heard Minako scream and
>fly about a foot away from the wheel.
Tom: <Yaten> Har har har! I love playin' that prank on me shipmates!
Don't worry, it's safe to touch now. *ZAPPP* Har har har!
>He turned around and grabbed the wheel. "Dumb wench! You could have
>made the ship crash!"
Crow: <Yaten> What idiot put you in charge of... uh... let's not
speak of this again.
Joel: Next, he's going to invite her to load a cannon.
>Minako stood up. She glared at the captain who glared back at her.
>"I HATE YOU!" She yelled and then rushed off of the deck.
Tom: She'll never let you sketch her naked now, chump.
Joel: <Rei> Hey Captain, how'd the wheel bit go over?
Crow: <Yaten> Oh, shut up.
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Joel: Have you ever just... gazed at the scene change in the
night sky?
Tom: Why no... I haven't.
Crow: Let's try it now.
[All stare at the scene change in abject wonder and peaceful
contemplation]
>Usagi felt the sun start to warm her skin.
Tom: <Usagi> In fact it's blistering up! Oh no! I used baby oil
by mistake!
>The sun was rising. She let out a sigh. She then heard waves crashing
>into the boat. She opened her eyes and gasped. It wasn't a dream...
Joel: <Gilligan> Skipper! SKIPPER! We've got another body on
the island!
Crow: <Skipper> Quick, shove a sail up her ass and let's get the fuck
out of here!
Joel: <shocked> Crow!
Crow: <shakes his head> Whoa... flashed back to 1998 for a moment
there.
>she was still on the pirate ship! She sat up and looked over at the
>pirate who smiled down at her.
Crow: Which was truly a lovely sight with no teeth.
Tom: <Pirate> Lost me pearlies in a fierce battle with a bottle
of grog. That cork showed me no mercy!
>"Oh? I thought I would have to use this." He said as he showed her
>the bucket that she had used to clean the deck with the night before.
Joel: <Usagi> OK! OK! I know what it means! You don't need to
beat me over the head with it!
>The pirate glanced in the bucket and shrugged his shoulders. "Oh
>well, why waste the water?" He then dumped the contents on Usagi who
>was wide-awake already. "SEIYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Joel: <Seiya> Come on, splashdance! You know, the... oh, forget it!
>Seiya laughed and dropped the bucket as he ran off. Usagi grabbed the
>mop and rushed off after him. She was furious! How dare he?
Crow: She's going to clean his clock! And swab a few decks
afterward...
Tom: Usagi Tsukino IS The Fast and the Furious!
>Suddenly, someone grabbed her from behind. She used the mop to whack
>the person.
Tom: <Usagi> I have another job for you, Mr. Libman. Make sure it
looks like an accident.
>"ARGH!!!!!! GIVE ME THAT!!!"
>
>Usagi recognized the voice instantly.
Crow: <Ralph Edwards> Usagi Tsukino, THIS IS YOUR LIFE!!!
>Captain Yaten.
Joel: Cool, a new character to... oh, right.
>He yanked the mop from her grasp and yanked her to the center of
>the deck.
Tom: <Yaten> YOU MISSED A SPOT!!!!!!!
Joel: <Yaten> Hands and knees, no cleaning with your feet!
>Seiya was already long gone.
Crow: <Seiya> Fear not brave senshi! For I shall... wait, do I have
the right script here?
>"I should just make you walk the plank. However, I have a punishment
>for you that is even better then that!" He pulled something out of
>his pocket and suddenly, her head felt lighter, a whole lot lighter.
Tom: <Yaten> You lightweight, you haven't even sniffed the cork yet!
>She glanced sideways and saw golden strings falling everywhere.
>Wait, it was not golden string... it was her hair! She gasped in
>horror as she felt the rest of the hair from the other bun gets
>sliced as well.
Crow: Which one, the rye or the kaiser?
Tom: I really hope she doesn't hold a "Grudge" or anything...
>Tears built up in her eyes, but she blinked them back. She would not
>gratify him with tears.
Joel: She would, as always, stiff him on the tip.
>Suddenly she was turned around to face Yaten.
>
>Yaten grinned. "Much better!"
Tom: <Usagi> Couldn't you have practiced on a Barbie doll or
something first?
>She glared at him.
>
>Yaten studied her face.
Joel: <Yaten> I can take care of that mustache too, if you want?
>She still glared at him...
>
>Yaten's eyes fell towards her chest.
>
>She still glared at him....
Crow: <Yaten> What? You stared me down! Where else am I
supposed to look?
>Yater put his knife in his mouth and carefully picked up the locket
>she wore. He flicked it open.
>
>"NO! Don't!" She yelled.
Tom: Usagi winced as a ear-splitting rendition of the 'U.S. Marine
Corp Hymn' blared from the locket.
>Too late. Yaten eyed the contents in her locket. He pulled out a
>piece of paper and shook it open. He studied it for a moment.
Joel: I owe you one plot, signed God.
Crow: Too late, God, only a miracle could save us.
>He then looked at her necklace. He fingered the locket and then
>yanked it off of her neck. He then grabbed the knife out of his
>mouth with the same hand that he had the locket in.
Crow: He then juggled the knife and the locket in one hand while
patting his head with the other.
Joel: <Usagi> *clap clap clap*
Tom: Ironically enough, both the pirates AND the tricks are stupid.
>"Well Well… I do believe I have found something of absolute value...
Tom: The geothermic nucleus?
Joel: The secret of the Caramilk bar?
Crow: I'm still holding out for a point to this plot.
>Usagi... or should I say, Lady Usagi?
Joel: We're headed towards that stupid "don't call me late for
dinner" punchline, aren't we?
Crow: Yes. Yes, we are.
>Heir to the fortune that was suppose to be mine... and to think, I was
>going to not take you..."
Tom: But he just couldn't pass up the chance to cash in all those
frequent flyer miles Usagi banked by flying from Japan to the West
Indies.
>Yaten grinned as he looked deeply into her eyes, as if he was
>searching her soul. "I bet you don't know anything of me... huh?"
>
>Usagi kicked him.
Crow: <Usagi> I know you're not wearing a codpiece.
>"Like why the hell would I know anything of a disgusting pirate
>like you?!"
>
>Yaten wiggled his nose. "You stink."
>
>Usagi rolled her eyes. "I wonder why?" She said sarcastically.
Joel: That's where I'd seen him before! Cousin Yaten on Bewitched.
>Yaten started to yank on her dress. He used his knife to slice at
>the dress.
>
>"HEY!" Usagi yelled.
Tom: <Yaten> We need more fan service, stat!
Crow: <Usagi, sobbing> I have no more boob to gi-i-ive!
>Yaten ignored her as he kept searching for something. "Strip!"
>
> Usagi gulked at him. "What?!"
>
>"You heard me! Strip damn it!"
Joel: <Yaten> This old paint ain't gonna peel itself off
the wall!
Crow: He just wants to wear the dress.
>Minako rushed over. "Usagi!" She was in shock at the sight. Usagi's
>hair was now shoulder length, but still in their buns.
Tom: They attached it to her chin, so that she could have a beard
to stroke.
Joel: Arr, Palebeard.
>Yaten had a knife and was slicing up Usagi's dress. He stopped and
>smiled at the other girl.
Joel: <Yaten> Your alterations will be ready Thursday.
Crow: <Usagi> Next time, try the zipper, asshole.
>"GET HER!" He barked, even though it was only the three of them on
>the deck.
Tom: Nonetheless, a confused Minako quickly put herself in a
headlock.
>Suddenly, a mob of hugh pirates ran over to Minako. She let out a
>scream and tried to run away.
Joel: They should really find the spot where all these pirates are
spawning from and kill it.
>Yaten gestured for the other pirates to pull her to him. He let go
>of Usagi and Usagi was instantly was grabbed by another pirate.
Crow: Was she now?
Joel: Puff, puff, pass.
>Yaten eyed the other girl. "Why did I not recognize you two? Why is
>it that I over looked the most valuable treasure?"
Tom: <Yaten> To think an old pirate like me overlooked your
booty.
>He moved his knife so that it caught the sunlight and shined in to
>Minako's face.
Crow: Lens flare doesn't translate well to fanfiction.
>He felt around the collar of her dress until his fingers grasped a
>chain. He yanked it out and Minako's eyes widened.
Tom: <Minako> MAMA... MAMA... Dammit! I hate it when people
do that to me!
>"That's mine!" She quickly kicked at Yaten. Yaten smiled triumphantly
>as he grasped the chain and yanked it from her neck.
Crow: And reversed time apparently.
>He put the two lockets together and studied them. "Now this is a
>prize!"
Joel: He's starting his own Mr. T collection.
Crow: He's got a LOOOOONG way to go then.
>Minako started to kick the other Pirates. "LET ME GO!"
Tom: <Minako> Karate KICK! Karate KICK! W-Why isn't this working!?
>Usagi bit one. "YUCK!"
Joel: Yeah, they're not even clean.
Crow: <Usagi> Needs more salt! *Gargg gargg gargg*...
>Yaten turned around and quickly sliced up Minako's dress.
Tom: This fanfic just HATES clothes, is the author a nudist or
something?
>She let out a scream of utter humiliation.
Tom: <Minako> UTTER HUMILIATION!!!
>"There it is, the mark of the blessed child!" Yaten's smile broadened
>even more as he tore Minako's dress away from a birthmark on her
>shoulder.
Crow: Oh, crap, she's a Stonemason.
Joel: Isn't this the basis of Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters from
Beverly Hills?
>It was in the shape of a star. He went over to Usagi and tore the
>shoulder of her dress off. A shape of a C was there… or a crescent
>moon.
Tom: Actually, the C means that she's a registered copyright. Got
it, pirate?
Joel: <Usagi> Shit, I don't even remember getting that... how
high was I?
>He narrowed his eyes. There, before him, were two ladies of an old
>bloodline… that were filthy rich
Joel: Daphne from "Scooby Doo" and Miss Haversham?
Tom: (laughing) Sure, why not?
>His eyes sparkled with joy. "Boys, we have a new quest!"
Crow: Stop the evil Sariens from stealing the Star Generator?
Tom: Arrest the Death Angel before he floods Lytton with drugs?
Joel: Save Speilburg from Baba Yaga and become a Hero?
Crow: Get laid in Lost Wages?
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
>
>Seiya watched as Makato made breakfast. "Could you give me a portion
>for the two girls?"
Joel: <Makoto> Is it STILL breakfast!? I feel like I've been in here
for the whole fanfic!
>Makato looked back at Seiya and smiled. "They have gone all day
>with out eating, haven't they?" She said referring to the day before.
Crow: They're less pirates and more REALLY dysfunctional family,
aren't they?
>"Hai. I feel bad for them." Seiya smiled at the girl. "Don't tell
>any one though, alright?"
>
>Makato winked at him and continued to cook.
Tom: Soon, crystal meth for all!
Joel: That makes the other two lunch ladies, and all the pirates are
little second graders on recess, right?
>Seiya let out a sigh and walked out to the dock. Golden feathers
>caught his eyes as they floated by him.
Crow: <Seiya> Man the cannons! We've been invaded by Banjo-Kazooie!
>He looked ahead to see piles of golden hair blowing away in the wind
>as Yaten glowed over some object. Seiya couldn't see anything more
>cause of all of the other pirates who were snickering.
Tom: <Yaten> I knew I shouldn't have drank that irradiated grog.
>Seiya walked up to them and then gasped. Odango's hair was sliced
>off! Plus her clothes we sliced into pieces.
Joel: <Seiya> It's okay, you're still more feminine than
Carrie-Ann Moss.
Crow: <Usagi> *sniff* Thanks.
>Along with her cousin who still had her hair. His heart stopped
>beating. Her long beautiful hair.
Joel: Sentence fragments. Just thoughts!
Crow: I regret she has one wig to give to her country.
>Seiya saw the look of hate on her face, and it was aimed at
>Yaten. Seiya saw that Yaten held a knife. Without thinking, Seiya
>yanked out his own knife.
Crow: Where's Paul Hogan when you need him?
Tom: Usagi countered with a spoon.
Joel: I hope they checked those into their luggage.
>SLICE!
>
>Silence.
Joel: Best. Pizza commercial. EVER.
>White feathery hair began to mingle with the blonde hair.
Tom: <white hair> Aren't all these follicles phonies?
>"...."
>
>Seiya looked in his hand, which now held Yaten's ponytail. He
>smiled at himself as he let it fall onto the ground.
>
>"...."
Crow: With Special Guest Star: Golgo 13!
Joel: And with that, he stole Yaten's Quickening.
Tom: Even the scene changes are phoning it in at this point.
>Minako looked at the two pirates. She was scared… Yaten's face was
>full of horror and shock.
Crow: And an oily T-zone too. Don't pirates ever scrub?
>Seiya put his knife back into his pocket and looked at the girls.
Joel: <Seiya> Don't give me your wallets! Wait, I messed up...
>He winked at them and then rushed away.
Crow: These are truly the pirates who don't do anything.
Tom: Rushed away WHERE? They're on a frigging SHIP!
>Yaten's face turned bright red suddenly.
>
>"MY HAIR!!!! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Suddenly Yaten erupted.
Tom: "Oh, hi drama!"
>He turned to where Seiya once stood. "I AM GOING TO KILL HIM!!!!"
>
>"What do you think I would have done to you for doing the same thing
>to me?!" Usagi screamed.
>
>Yaten didn't even hear her. His face was red and he withdrew his
>sword. "SEIYA!!!!!!"
Joel: I think he's made his exclamation point by now.
>Yaten then vanished as he rushed off after Seiya.
Tom: *splash*
Crow: <Yaten> I'M DOWN HERE, YOU FOOLS!!!
>The pirates looked at each other, baffled by Seiya's attack. They
>then looked at the two women who they held in their grasp. Hardly any
>clothes were left on the women.
Joel: <Pirate> Should we sing a song or something?
Tom: <Pirate> Yeah, a shanty! That's really fruity!
>"I wouldn't do anything if I were you…" came a cold female voice.
Crow: Yeah, why start now, huh?
>The pirates all looked up as Rei walked up to the girls. "Dresses
>never work on the ship any ways." She told the two.
Tom: Only the people INSIDE the dresses work on the ship.
So, start rowing.
>"CURSE YOU SEIYA! I HATE RUNNING!!!!"
>
>Rei shook her head. "My poor brother. He let his feelings get the
>better of him again."
Joel: <Rei> He'll never be a Jedi at this rate.
>Usagi crouched down and touched her hair. Yaten's own hair still
>mostly was in its tie, as Seiya cut it just an inch below his scalp.
Crow: BELOW his scalp!? Owie!
>Usagi looked up at Rei. "Why would he do something so crazy?"
>
>Sweat drop.
Joel: <Rei> That's nothing, you should see him sell furniture.
Tom: Everything else in here is pretty frigging random, why are we
asking *now*?
>"You do not know?" Rei said in disbelief.
>
>Usagi gathered her hair. "No…"
Joel: <Rei> He once clubbed a seal to make a better deal! No bull!
>Minako shook her head. "He did it for you, dummy!"
Crow: <Usagi> I would have rather he got some Scotch tape and helped
me put my hair back.
>Usagi didn't falter. She just stared at her hair that had been freed
>from her head. "Oh."
Tom: Her hair was still jumping up and down, yelping pitifully.
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
>
>A/N
>
>Woo Hoo! Things are getting exciting!
Crow: "Woo Hoo! No, they're not!"
>What was it that Yaten discovered? Will Seiya live after this day?
Joel: Will the author's notes make any sense?
Tom: Will the Sailor Senshi show up in their natural environment: the
Seven Seas?
>HEY! What's going on with Ami and Taiki?!? ^_^
Crow: <author> Aw, crap! I forgot all about them! Oh well, plenty
of other chapters to stick in there somewhere!
Tom: I thought we ignored all the B plots here.
>Don't forget to … REVIEW!!!!!!!!!
>
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Crow: LESS FAFFING ABOUT, MORE STABBY STABBY!!!!!
Tom: NEEDS MORE VOLUME!!!!!!
Joel: Oh goodness, don't ask for more volume. The author will assume
that means Pantene Pro-V.
>Prieview:
Joel: No riff necessary here, folks.
>Yaten glared at the pirates. He unfolded the two map pieces and
>placed them side-by-side. He studied them.
Tom: <Yaten> What's this squiggly line mean?
Joel: <Usagi> Water.
Tom: <Yaten> That's why there's so many of them!
>"Bring me the wenches!"
Crow: Based on this fic's previous knack for grammar, I'm guessing
he really needs to tighten his nuts.
>One pirate cleared his throat. "Um, Captain… Seiya took the girls…"
>
>"WHAT?!?!?!?!"
Tom: <Seiya> Don't worry, girls, I don't have to return you till
next Tuesday!
>~*~ ~*~ ~*~
>
>Uh Oh, Seiya is being such a bad boy! ^_~
Crow: COPS is filmed on location with the man and women of Sailor
Moon. All pirates are suspect and proven fruity as far as we saw.
>Don't forget to check out my other stories!
Joel: They're serialized daily in about eighty Twitter posts.
Tom: I'm amazed none of the pirates sparkled in the daylight...
Crow: No, they're saving that for Chapter 7: Barf.
Joel: Sooo, any final thoughts, guys?
Tom: <Patrick Stewart> And Yaten piled on the former senshi's
hump... the sum of all the rage and hate... if his head had been a
cannon, he would have shot his hair upon her...
Crow: What he said.
Joel: <chuckling> Okay, let's get out of here before Tom loses
his mind completely...
Tom: Call me YATEN!
Crow: Too late.
(Joel picks up Tom and follows Crow out of the theater)
* * *
SATELLITE OF LOVE
As the trio emerged onto the bridge, Joel noticed a light flashing
on the counter. "Hey guys, we got a call on the Hexfield Viewscreen!"
he exclaimed.
"Great, we're overdue for some booty." Crow muttered as Joel
walked over to the counter and gave the button a tap.
The Hexfield slowly opened to reveal nothing but snow. A
distorted radio broadcast could barely be heard crackling in the
background.
"...is... *zzzt*... pinned down... *zzzt*... EVAC immed...
*zzzt*... out of time... *zzzt*..."
Joel fiddled with the controls. "Hello! This is the Satellite
of Love responding to unknown contact, can you hear me?" he
replied.
"YES!!! We... *zzzt*... stranded over... *zzzt*...forgotten...
*zzzt*..."
"Can you boost your gain? We need more signal!" Joel replied.
"Damn... *zzzt*... I can't... *zzzt*... BOY!... *zzzt*"
Joel looked at the bots and was about to throw up his hands when
the snow suddenly died down and a shaky image appeared on the screen.
"Hey, isn't that..." Crow began.
"*zzzt* ...got through! Um, mayday, mayday! This is Sail... this
is Ami Mizuno, an ordinary peasant girl... who happens to know
how to build a video communicator out of stone knifes and
bearskins... heh..." Ami cringed as she glanced around at the small
crowd of people surrounding her. "These people and I are trapped
in this fanfic and..."
"We're requesting immediate EVAC from the area! Repeat! We
need a rescue effort here, pronto!" a wild-eyed Mamoru rudely
interrupted.
"Arrh!" A huge and terrifying muscular man with a beard and one
eye missing raised his torch and nodded his agreement.
"I'm getting to that, guys, please calm down!" Ami pleaded with
them before speaking into her communicator again. "I'm not getting
any response from my... err... 'tech support', so I'm appealing to you
to please help us out of here."
"Wait, you were all characters in the first two chapters of the
fanfic, right? How does that make you stranded?" Tom asked.
"All I know is this fanfic hasn't been updated for years and
we have no idea how to get in touch with the author..."
"She is gone, never to be seen again." a guy suddenly
interrupted.
"Shut up, you're not helping! Who the hell are you anyway!?"
Mamoru snapped at the man who gave him an odd look before
walking away. Ami sighed before continuing.
"Look, I'll be happy to answer all your questions if you can get
us out of here. Our coordinates are..."
"Well wait, uh... we'd like to help you, really, but we're kinda
trapped in space ourselves..." Joel replied sheepishly.
There was a long pause as Ami stared blankly at the screen.
"What?" she finally uttered.
"Yeah, we're pretty much in the same boat as you. We don't
even have a communicator to call anyone else for help, we can only
talk to people that call us on the Hexfield or the mad scientists that
trapped us up here in the first place." Joel explained.
"Smooth exposition there, Joel." Crow nodded.
"Oh, that's great! That's just great! There's no hope now!
We're doomed, man! DOOMED!!!" Mamoru wailed.
"TUX-BOY!" Everyone else around him suddenly shouted. Mamoru
immediately fell silent and collapsed on his butt, looking dejected.
"Please forgive him, the author didn't give him much to do in
this fanfic and he's a little stir crazy." Ami helpfully explained.
"What about Taiki? Wasn't he helping you out before?" Crow
inquired.
Ami blew out some air. "Oh yeah, big load of help there..." she
muttered, the frustration in her voice evident now. "He and his
horse dumped me shortly after rescuing me, and told me I wasn't his
concern before riding off... same verse as the first."
"What a dickweed." Crow sympathized.
"Tell me about it... I was THIS close to marching back over to
Yaten and risking my life just to spite him but...meh." Ami shrugged.
"Man, that's rough... still, maybe you can contact someone else
who can help you. Your signal strength must be pretty powerful if it
can reach us all the way up here in orbit." Joel said.
"Yeah, maybe... in the meantime, I'll be thinking up a new plan
to save my friends held prisoner on the ship... I don't suppose you
know how they're doing?" Ami inquired.
"Uhh, well, Minako's alternating between hating and being
hopelessly in love with the ship's abusive captain..." Joel began.
"And Usagi's in love with his brother, who..." Crow continued.
"N-Never mind." Ami sighed. "It seems some things never
change. Maybe I'll just catch up on my reading for a while
instead..."
"Ooh, can I join you! I'm already naked!" Tom exclaimed.
"Huh?" Ami blinked as Joel yanked Tom away from the Hexfield.
"Don't mind him, he's just suffering from fanfic lag." Joel explained.
"Oh. Well, it was nice talking with you guys, but I'd better get
back to the village and tend to my patients..." Ami said.
"OK, sorry we couldn't be more help! Good luck to you!" Joel
apologized with a smile.
"Thanks, you too! Good luck to both of us!" Ami replied with a
smile of her own as the Hexfield viewscreen drew to a close.
"Wow, you know, suddenly I don't feel so alone in this vast
little universe of ours..." Tom said wistfully.
"Billions and billions of Senshi..." Crow added in his best Carl
Sagan.
"Makes you think, don't it?" Joel nodded.
The trio spent a long moment staring out the window of the
Satellite before Joel noticed the red light flashing on the counter.
and gave it a quick press.
"What do YOU think, sirs?"
* * *
MEANWHILE IN ANOTHER MSTING UNIVERSE JUST AROUND
THE CORNER...
* * *
---Deep Thirteen
"Oh, I think you and your little friends will be seeing dear Ami
again before you know it, Mike..." Dr. Forrester chuckled evily as
the camera panned down to a chess board with a lone white king on
one side; a black pawn and knight flanking a black king on the
other side.
He casually moved the white king forward one square. Then,
with a few quick flicks of his finger, he tipped over all three black
pieces, one by one, saving the king for last. As it rolled along the
board, Dr. F looked up at the camera with a smug grin on his face.
"Check and mate, Nelson. Frank, press the Ruy Lopez."
"Just a sec, Dr. F, I'm watching Stewart pitch it over to
Colbert. How do they expect to be believable when the Daily Show is
so blatantly left while Colbert is supposed to be righty?"
Dr. F snatched the remaining king from the board and beaned Frank
in the head with it. As Frank slowly slid to the floor, he showed his
dedication by hitting his button on the way down.
--POOF!--
"That's called a sacrifice, Frank."
..AND THE MSTINGS
CONTINUE...
We hope you enjoyed this and comments are very welcome.
(megane67@rogers.com) (zoogz@yahoo.com)
I've been MSTing for almost thirteen years now and I want to thank
each and every person who's send me words of support and encouragement
and who have helped me with my MSTs over the years. I treasure
every piece of fan mail I receive and I consider it a great honor that
some people have dedicated their MSTings to me and tell me that I
helped encourage them to start MSTing. To all of you, thank you from
the bottom of my heart and I hope I can continue to inspire and make
you laugh for a long time to come. :)
I'd like to give personal thanks to Zoogz, who's in-depth C&C and
riffs for this MSTing are always appriciated and for making the
MSTing process so much fun! :)
- Zoogz's 'Mystery Science Cinema' series can be found at
http://www.nabiki.com/mst/zoogz/mst/ including his latest MSTings:
'Finding Your Place' (Rurouni Kenshin)
And
'Eye of the Tiger' (Neon Genesis Evangelion / Xenogears)
Other recent MSTings we've done:
- 'Loki Unties The Wolf' (Utena)
- 'The Life I Left Behind' (Multi X-Over)
- 'Wild Senshi' Pt. 1-2 (Sailor Moon / Ranma 1/2 / Yu-Gi-Oh)
- 'My Kid's An Alien!' Pt. 1-3 (Urusei Yatsura)
- 'Friends, Family and San Francisco' Pt. 1-2 (Sailor Moon)
- 'Dragon of the Night' (Utena)
***All of Zoogz and my MSTings and the MSTings we've contributed
to can be found in the various categories at:***
'A MSTing for All Seasons'
http://www.nabiki.com/mst
'Everything What Is Crap!'
http://svamcentral.org/ewic/
>Ami looked over to see the pirate ship had docked on an island. "How
>can we ever get to it and save the others?"
>
>Taiki lowered Ami off of his horse. "That's none of my concern." He
>then rode off, leaving Ami behind.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations
are trademarks of and (c) 2010 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights
reserved.
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