Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Alone ❯ Chapter Three: Another One Taken ( Chapter 3 )

Alone
Chapter Three: Another One Taken

By Selenity Jade
Rated: PG13

 

Disclaimer: Don't own SM or said characters. Suing me will get you nowhere. I promise.

 

Beta: Lynz - Thank You!

 

Pairing: Mamoru/Usagi

 

AN: 03/05/08 - Updated. For the record, all Japanese is translated at the bottom. I don't use much (because frankly, I find it a little silly to use Japanese in an English fanfiction when the English word works just fine), but I do use Japanese for words that aren't translated easily into English (like youkai, hanyou, -chan, -sama) and when the characters use that specific word a lot as part of their personalities or name calling (Odango Atama, anyone?).

 

xxx

 

"Mama!" a frightened Chibi-Usa cried out as she ran outside.

 

Usagi turned towards the worried little girl, frowning. "What is it?"

 

"The communicator went off! Youma at Rei's school!"

 

Usagi nodded slowly and stood up. "Go inside, sweetie," she told the child as she ran into the house. She dashed up the stairs and into her bedroom, snatching up her communicator immediately, and told the Senshi she was on her way. The blonde was out of the house within moments. She transformed on her way to Rei's school and arrived in short order.

 

She took a moment to absorb the situation and quickly jumped in, sending her tiara into the side of the ugly youma's side as it prepared to launch an attack at her friend. Mars snorted as she was saved by her sometimes-rival, sometimes-best friend.

 

"About time," the cross Senshi said irritably, but Sailor Moon could detect the hint of gratitude in her voice. It had been that way as long as she could remember. Rei couldn't seem to express how much she cared for her leader and princess. It was in subtle actions and tone of voice that they gave one another that relayed just how much they cared for each other.

 

"Bite me," Sailor Moon retorted happily. "Ready?"

 

The Senshi nodded wearily and Sailor Moon absently gave her tradition speech, forgetting immediately what she had preached about. She dusted the monster shortly after that and was preparing to jump off the stone wall, when a familiar dark voice filled the silent battlefield. "Wonderful work, Senshi," the voice drawled out. "I expected no less from you, Sailor Moon."

 

Sailor Moon snapped her head around to face the skeleton and glared angrily at the creature who had taken their friend two days before. "Give Mercury back," she ordered.

 

The cloaked figure shook his head and chuckled. "I'm sorry, Senshi of the Moon, but I cannot comply with your wishes this time. You see, Mercury is being put to good use and it would be a shame to stop it now. Perhaps later she will be returned. Of course, she will never be as she once was. Now, I apologize, young Senshi, but it is time for another of your comrades to join us. Mars, if you would..."

 

Sailor Moon blinked in complete shock at the audacity of this villain. As if Rei would just walk up...

 

"Mars!" she screamed and rushed forward to intercept her friend who was indeed moving sedately towards the cloaked man. "Mars!"

 

Sailor Mars absently backhanded Sailor Moon away from her and continued to walk towards the skeletal man, ignoring her stricken comrade who crumpled on the hard cement.

 

"Yes, Sailor Mars, come to me," the evil being murmured softly, sending chills down Sailor Moon's spine.

 

"Mars!" she screamed again in anguish. She rose and ran towards her friend again, only to collide with Tuxedo Kamen's back. Sailor Moon cried out and started to move around her ex-boyfriend, only to find herself restrained in his arms after two steps. "Let me go!" she yelled desperately.

 

"Sailor Moon, stop it!" he snapped, scooping her up into his arms.

 

"Damn it, please let me go!" she demanded and kicked out. She connected with his stomach and he grunted, loosening his hold on her. She wrestled herself away from him and ran towards the skeletal being and Mars, who had just reached out to him. "Mars!" she screamed as they both disappeared.

 

"Mars!" She crumpled to the cement, devastated.

 

She felt herself being lifted by strong arms, knowing immediately that her former boyfriend had picked her up. She groaned. "Put. Me. Down. Now!" she hissed angrily. "Traitor! How could you? How could you let her be taken like that! I know you hate me, Mamoru, but to let Mars suffer because of me!"

 

He flinched. "Usako, stop. I don't hate you and you know it. My first duty is to protect you and Mars wouldn't have wanted you taken as well. I did it to protect you, Usako."

 

"Bullshit! I've had enough of your lies, Mamoru. Let me go!" she yelled, and flung herself out of his arms. "I hate you! Just leave me alone! Isn't it enough that you broke my heart? Do you want my friends taken away too? Why did you stop me? I could have saved her!" she cried, tears coursing down her cheeks. She turned and ran away from those midnight blue eyes and two Senshi who had just arrived to hear her anguished accusations.

 

She found herself quickly caught by Tuxedo Kamen. He picked her up and jumped out of the school yard and across the rooftops. She gave a wordless cry, struggling against his embrace, but quickly stopped once he nearly missed a balcony.

 

She sighed and sulked until he stopped a few minutes later. She noticed that he had taken them outside the city.

 

"Usako," his soft voice murmured and he tightened his arms around her. "Damn it, Usako. Please, listen to me."

 

"Why?" she asked coldly. "You let her be taken! You let her! I could have done something! I would have rather been taken than her! It's me he wants, not them! Why didn't you just let me go?"

 

To her surprise, he suddenly sat on the ground and clutched her to his chest. He held her in his lap and buried his face in her neck. A soft sob escaped him. "I couldn't, Usako. You would have been captured and I couldn't stand to see that happen. I would rather they were all taken, every last one of them, than to see you in their hands. I couldn't let you do it."

 

She pulled away from him angrily. "I would rather have it be me! I love them! I'm nothing without them. They are my family, my friends, and all I have!"

 

"No! You have me, Usako," he snapped, shaking her shoulders slightly before he clutched her to his chest again. "You have me. We can come up with a plan, Usako. Mars would rather I saved you than her and you know it. They would all want you safe. You are everything to all of us. You are everything to me. We can still save them, but if you were captured, it would have been hopeless. You can hate me, you have reason enough, but I will protect you. No matter the circumstances, no matter if you scream at me or curse me. I can handle your hatred, even though it hurts, but I am not strong enough to handle your capture or your death. I will protect you, hatred or no."

 

She pulled away from him and quickly transformed back into her jeans and skimpy t-shirt she had been wearing to clean up the yard. She turned away from him and walked back towards Tokyo. "Leave me alone, Mamoru. If You're strong enough to break my heart with your betrayal, you're strong enough to handle my death, disappearance, whatever. Just leave me alone."

 

Suddenly, he was behind her, wrapping his arms around her. He rested his chin on the top of her head. She could feel a fine trembling coming from the strong arms that held her. "No, Usako. My little one, I love you," he whispered hoarsely.

 

"No, you don't. If you loved me, truly loved me, you would have saved her. Or let me save her. If you truly loved me, your dreams wouldn't have mattered. Or you would have told me about them. You cannot love me."

 

"Damn it! I know I've hurt you, Usako, but I do love you. Despite what I've said or done, that has never changed. I've never known love before you, I will never know it again, and you know it. I love you, I love everything about you, and yes, I trust you. I trust you and believe in you, but sometimes, when you're in danger, I'm irrational. I would rather die a million times over than have you captured by that man. I'd gladly sacrifice this world than let them have you." His arms tightened more with each declaration.

 

"It may be stupid, but I love you so much, nothing else matters to me. I want to save the world, yes. But without you, I'd rather it was destroyed. What use is this world to me or anyone without you in it? Please, Usako. I love you. I've never stopped. You make me so irrational sometimes and when I feel that you're in danger, I don't think. I just do what comes to mind. I'm sorry, Usako, for everything I've said or done. I'm sorry for all the pain I have brought you. I'm sorry I couldn't let you sacrifice yourself. I'm sorry, my love. I'm sorry for everything but loving you. I'll never be sorry for loving you."

 

She turned around to stare at him silently throughout his long speech, shocked. She had to admit it did make some sense. When the people she loved were in danger, she didn't think. She acted. Sometimes irrationally. And if he did love her, and she knew he did despite what little doubts floated around her mind, danger to her would have made him do exactly that. She was just so tired of her fellow Senshi and her boyfriend protecting her so fiercely they didn't tell her anything.

 

He abruptly sat on the grass, his shoulders slumping in defeat. She knelt in front of him, lifting his bowed head to look at her. His dark blue eyes were nearly black with emotion: pain, anguish, self-hatred, and guilt.

 

"I understand, Mamoru," she whispered.

 

He winced and turned away from her. "No, I don't think you do, Usako. I may be Tuxedo Kamen, a superhero, but that isn't really what I am. I'm dark. You're light and pure. An angel. Your heart is so big and you love everyone and everything. I don't love everything, Usako. It is you I love. I care for this world because you love it so much. This world has brought me nothing but pain and suffering until I met you. The only light in my soul is because of you. I fight evil for you, not for the reason you do. To protect everyone. I fight to protect you. Danger to you rends my soul in two, Usako. You deserve a man who is perfect. One who is as pure as you are. You deserve far better than I, but even that doesn't stop me from loving you. I could never let you go, never let you go to another man. It's selfish, perhaps, but even when I know I don't deserve you, I can't let you go. I love you so much and in so many different ways that even I don't understand."

 

He ran his fingers through his ebony hair in frustration. "Every time I'm around you, nothing else matters. The world, my problems, everything disappears while you are with me. Usako, I dream about you, every night. I think of you every moment. I go mad with longing every time we're apart."

 

"But-"

 

He smiled humorlessly. "But I never show it? I never show how much I want to touch you, kiss you, and more. I'm not good at showing how I feel. Some of it may be that I love you too much, I'm afraid that you'll run away from what I feel. It's so strong, Usako. I'm afraid of it sometimes. I can feel you all the time. I can feel your happiness and sorrows, every moment, inside my heart. I can sometimes hear what you're thinking about and it shames me. You're pure and innocent. I'm not. I'm older than you and I feel so horrible for the things I think sometimes, but I'm not as innocent of things as you. And I promised myself I'd never let you see them. I'd keep you as innocent as I could for as long as I could."

 

She sighed. "You don't need to do that. I'm not exactly innocent, but I don't let the horrors I've experienced darken my heart. I know what you think as well, you know," she added, looking into his eyes. "I'm not that naive. I love you and I know you're older. A big whopping three years. I know what you think of. I know your dreams. I know what you feel. I had hoped you would heal without pushing you too much." She paused and looked at him. "I know what you want and what you dream of."

 

He turned away from her. "No, Usako. You're too young," he began.

 

She snorted. "I've lived two lifetimes, I know about these things just like any other teenager does, but there is also another reason I know about them. I remember being Serenity; I remember making love to Endymion. I remember it all."

 

He turned and stared at her. "Usako..."

 

"What? Surprised I would remember it? Don't you think I feel the same as you? I remember being one with you and now have to go on in this lifetime without that. I remember the complete bliss we achieved that night before the attack. I remember everything. You are Endymion as well as Chiba Mamoru, and you long for it also. Remember that I see your dreams. Is it not confusing sometimes to be two people?"

 

He nodded. "I didn't think you remembered, Usako," he murmured turning away from her.

 

She smiled. "Of course I do. It is one of the first memories I had remembered when they started coming back to me. I know it is hard, Mamoru. I know it is hard remembering that and being who we are here."

 

"It's just that then you were older. Now, you're so young and it isn't the right time. Back then we both knew it was the right moment and we did it for love and because one or both of us might not have made it during Beryl's attack."

 

"I know. Endymion was the same way, you know. Before that night, you was always trying to keep your honor and my virtue intact. I know you, better than you may believe. I know how much you love me and to what depths." She sighed, turning her face from him. "I don't know how much you remember exactly, Mamoru, but I remember it all, I think. I remember what it felt like to die by my hand and your sword. I remember dying by your side to follow you."

 

"Usako," he murmured, reaching out to touch her face, but hesitated.

 

"You should have let me save Mars," she whispered.

 

He winced. "No. We can always get her back. Without you, we'd have lost hope. I know I did the right thing, selfish as it may be. The others would agree with me. They love you, too."

 

She sighed. "I don't want any of them to suffer when I can stop it. You must understand."

 

"I understand, Usako. I've always understood how you feel about that. But that's why it is our duty to protect you from that."

 

"I don't want it to be your duty!"

 

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Usako. It is our duty. A sense of duty so deeply ingrained into our souls we could no more stop protecting you than we could stop breathing or eating. It is what we do. Because we love you."

 

"Mamoru-"

 

"Not Mamoru," he insisted, cupping her face to make her look at him. "Please."

 

"Until I know what is going to happen between us now, that is how it's going to stay. I'm sorry, but I just can't right now. You hurt me too much."

 

He flinched.

 

"Just let me go home now, I'm going to be late."

 

xxx

 

Usagi sighed. "I'm sorry, Mom," she whispered.

 

"Sorry isn't going to cut it, Usagi," the older woman snapped. "You were four hours late, Usagi! Your father and I were afraid something terrible had happened. Where were you?"

 

Usagi looked away. "I was at Rei-chan's," she whispered, lying easily, as she had been doing to her beloved parents since she became Sailor Moon.

 

"You're lying," her mother stated. "I called there looking for you; her grandfather was worried sick about Rei also! I've had it, Usagi. I've had it with all the mystery, lying, late nights, the bruises I see all the time, everything! Are you in trouble? On drugs? What is going on with you? Is that Mamoru boy hurting you? Are you having sex?"

 

"Mother!" Usagi exclaimed. "Mamoru would never hurt me like that." She glanced out the large window. "And no, we aren't having sex... We aren't even together anymore."

 

"Tell me, please, Usagi, what is going on? I'm worried about you!"

 

"Mom-"

 

"Don't Usagi. No more lies."

 

Usagi hung her head. In all honesty, she hated hiding things from her mother. She hated the lying and sneaking around. Her mortal mother and her were always very close, sharing confidences all the time. Until she became a Sailor Senshi. "I'm sorry, Mama," she whispered sadly. "I cannot tell you."

 

"Usagi, if you need help-"

 

"No. It's nothing like that. I'm not in any trouble, nothing like that. I just... can't tell you."

 

Her mother sighed. "Fine," she stated tiredly and turned to leave her daughter's room. She paused before she opened the door and looked back at Usagi. "You're grounded for two weeks, Usagi. No allowance and you aren't allowed to leave the house except to go to school. It will be doubled every time you lie, sneak out, or return home late." With that, she left her daughter alone.

 

Usage winced as the door shut. There had been tears in her mother's eyes.

 

xxx

 

AN: Just…to stop a question I know I'll get again… No, Mamoru and Usagi won't be getting together quite yet. It'll still be awhile until they're…'complete' again.

 

Japanese:

- Youma: Japanese for monster, often used in many different episode-driven anime to refer to the 'monster-of-the-week'

- Senshi: Soldier, literally. (I said warrior earlier, which is the same thing, sort of, but I had to brush up on my Japanese editing this monster)

 

Lovies!