Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Bishounen no Mori ❯ Another Bishounen Awakens! An Unusual Morning ( Chapter 2 )

Oh, so you came back for more, eh? Well, here comes episode 2 in your face!

(Insert long boring thingy saying I don't own the characters here).

Completed: 1/11/98 (Last revision: 2001.09.21)* * * * * * * * * *

Bishounen no Mori

Episode 2: Another Bishounen Awakens! An Unusual Morning.

(Still) Written by: Sailorspazz* * * * * * * * * *

Jadeite wakes up the next morning with a major headache. He sits up and looks around, wondering where he is and how the hell he got there. After noticing the bar stools and empty wine bottles, he comes to the conclusion that he is in a bar (Smart, Jeddy...*clap clap*). Even though he knows where he is (Sort of...) he still can't figure out how he got there. "I must have had too much to drink last night..." He notices he is sitting in a huge puddle of water and blushes. "Oh man, I really had too much to drink..." After sitting there for quite awhile, his memories start to come back a bit. "Let's see, I was fighting the Sailor Senshi, but I was defeated and went back to explain to Queen Beryl. She started yelling at me and...I can't remember what happened afer that!" Jadeite then assumes that he must have gotten depressed after Queen Beryl yelled at him, so he went out and got drunk. Jadeite's thoughts are cut off when someone walks into the kitchen...* * * * * * * * * *

Fish Eye wakes up the next morning feeling very satisfied from the previous night (The thought that it was with Mamoru is quite stomach churning...) He puts on a bathrobe and goes to the bar/kitchen area to get breakfast.

When Fish Eye walks in, he discovers that Jadeite is awake and looking around confused. 'Wow, he's much cuter now that he's outta that big ice cube thingy,' Fish Eye thinks. He decides to be the first person to greet Jadeite after his long sleep. He walks up to him and smiles. "Good morning, Jadeite."

Jadeite turns around...and gasps. He finds himself facing a beautiful young woman (*Snicker*) with long sky blue hair and sparkling ice blue eyes. He is completely stunned by her beauty. "G-Goo-Good morning, um, you," he stumbles, his voice cracking a bit. He slaps himself on the forehead. 'Smooth one, Jadeite,' his mind says (Or maybe it was just the little voices in his head o_O;;). Jadeite tells his mind to shut up and turns his attention back to the young lady. "So, ah, what's your name, beautiful?" he says with a charming smile, but since he's so nervous, the smile looks pretty creepy. Well, it's been awhile since his last date (Of course, it's been A LOT longer than Jadeite thinks ^_^).

"Fish Eye." He notices that Jadeite looks even cuter when he's nervous.

"Oh, ummm...could I ask you where I am?"

"You're in my house," Fish Eye says with a wide grin. He knows what Jadeite will conclude from that and decides to have a bit of fun leading him on. 'I won't even need to brainwash him,' he thinks happily.

Jadeite's eyes bug out. 'I spent the night at some girl's house and I don't even remember it?! I'm never drinking again!' he thinks angrily. Now he desperately wants to remember the night before. All he can say out loud is, "I...am?"

"Yes. And you were great last night..." He lets out a happy sigh and wraps his arms around Jadeite.

Jadeite now really hates himself for not remembering the night before, but he can think more on that later. Right now, he can let Fish Eye think he remembers. "You were great, too." He puts an arm around Fish Eye's shoulders and brings him closer.

"Oh, really?" Fish Eye is surprised that Jadeite not only believes his story, but is now pretending to remember things that never even happened! Well, he can have some fun with that..."You know, Jadeite. You said something last night that sounded like a good idea."

"I did? Erm..what did I say?"

"You said we should do it again in the morning." Fish Eye gives him a highly suggestive grin.

"Oh, well there's a good way to wake me up." Jadeite is also secretly hoping his memories from the night before will come back if they do it again. He picks up Fish Eye and starts to carry him away. Then he realizes something. "Umm, Fish Eye?"

"Yes?"

"Which way is it to your bedroom?"

"I'll tell you as we walk. Go straight (Well, actually, he's unknowingly doing the opposite ^_^;;)...now turn left...go up the stairs...go in the second door on the left." Fish Eye turns the knob for Jadeite and they walk in (Well, Jadeite walks in carrying Fish Eye, rather). Fish Eye comes to the realization that Mamoru is still in his bed. "Oh, shit!!!" He quickly does a little time-stopping spell on Jadeite. Fish eye starts shaking Mamoru. "Mamo-chan! Mamo-chan! WAKE UP!!" he screeches in Mamoru's ear. Mamoru rolls over and smiles at him.

"Good morning, Fish Eye, dear."

"Yeah yeah, good morning to you too...Listen! I need you to do something for me."

"Anything for you, my love."

"I need you to get out of here! I have some very important business to attend to."

"What? But, how do I live without you? (Author starts humming that song). You are what keeps me going. You are the only one I need! You..."

"Mamo-chan! I don't have time for this now! GET OUT!!"

Mamoru decides to obey and slips into his bathrobe. He walks out of the room, sits down in the hallway, and starts to cry.

Fish Eye jumps back into Jadeite's arms and ends the time-stopping spell. "Now, let's do a repeat of last night!"

Jadeite lies Fish Eye down on the bed...* * * * * * * * * *

Mamoru sits in the hall, crying. "Oh, Fish Eye, my love! Where did I go wrong?" he mumbles through his tears. "I did the best I could to do everything you said, so how could I fail you? Could it be the time I got that mustard on your dress? Or was it when I lost your favorite pair of earrings? Or..."

"Hey! Shut up out there!" Zoisite yells angrily from the guest bedroom across the hall. "Some people are trying to sleep!" Although Zoisite had meant well, his yelling had been much louder than Mamoru's crying and he ended up waking Tiger's Eye and Hawk's Eye. Kunzite tries to recover his hearing from Zoisite yelling so close to his head...Zoisite sighs. He knows he won't be able to fall back asleep now, so he decides to get up. "Come on, Kunzite-sama. Let's get breakfast."

"Uh, OK" He doesn't have his hearing completely back yet, but since Zoisite is pulling him out of bed and throwing his clothes at him, he assumes it means they are going to get up and leave the room (Wow, Kunzite's as observant as Jadeite...Speaking of Jadeite being observant...)

"AUGH!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?!" Jadeite quickly struggles to pull his pants back on and comes tearing out of Fish eye's bedroom, nearly crashing into Kunzite and Zoisite, who have just come out of their bedroom. Jadeite runs into the bathroom and locks the door.

"Well, if that's going to be your attitude, I don't want to sleep with you!!" Fish Eye yells from the bedroom. He wishes he had brainwashed Jadeite so he wouldn't care that he's a guy, like he had done with Mamoru.

"That's fine with me!!" Jadeite says as he turns on the shower.

After they rid themselves of their sweatdrops, Zoisite, Kunzite, Tiger's Eye and Hawk's Eye all head down to the bar/kitchen area to get breakfast. Zoisite goes straight to the food refrigerator (They have two refrigerators: One for food and one for booze) and starts digging through it. A couple minutes later, he emerges with a big pile of food. "Oh, does anyone else want something?" The others look in the refrigerator and discover there isn't much left.

"Aww, come on, Zoisite. Aren't you going to share? You took all the good stuff," Kunzite whines.

"No! I'm really hungry because I didn't get any dinner last night!"

"Well, none of us got dinner either," Tiger's Eye says, sulking.

"I got to the fridge first! It's ALL mine!!!" Zoisite yells, protectively pulling the food closer.

"You know, if you eat that much, you're going to get fat." Everyone turns around and sees Fish Eye walking into the room. He examines Zoisite's body for a second. "In fact, I can see that you're a little chubby already."

"WHAT?!?!" Zoisite snarls and drops all his food to the ground. Kunzite looks very scared, because he knows Zoisite would never drop food unless he was really angry. Zoisite notices how scared he looks and says in a calm voice, "Kunzite-sama, do you think I'm fat?"

Since Zoisite is talking in such a calm voice, Kunzite decides it will be all right to tease him a little. "Well, you do have these cute little love-handles," he says, pinching the sides of Zoisite's stomach.

"Stop that!!" he yells, elbowing Kunzite in the stomach. Obviously, he had underestimated Zoisite's anger and he decides to just curl up in a ball and lie on the floor a few minutes to regain his breath.

"See? Even he thinks you are. I think you should go on a diet."

Zoisite tries very hard and actually manages to supress his anger. "Fine, I will then," he says out loud. To himself, he thinks, 'I'll get stronger and then I can just kill them all...well, except Kunzite-sama.' He looks down and notices Kunzite still curled up on the floor, clutching his stomach. "Get up, Kunzite-sama. We need to get something to eat. We have a long day ahead of us..." Since he has finally regained his breath, he gets up.

Hawk's Eye starts gathering up the food that Zoisite dropped on the floor, trying to decide what to make. He discovers a box of Eggo waffles. "How many waffles does everyone want?"

"I'll have three!" Tiger's Eye says.

"I'll have two!" Fish Eye says.

"I'll have four!" Kunzite says (Ooh, a piggy-boy today, I see...sounds like me ^_^).

Zoisite sulks. He's going on a diet the day they're having waffles? Life is so unfair... "I'll have one..." he says with a huge pout.

"Where's Nephrite?" Hawk's Eye asks.

"Probably still asleep," Kunzite says.

"Well, I need to know how many waffles he wants."

"Oooh, I'll go wake him up!!!" Zoisite says happily (In a very evil way). He runs into the living room and sees Nephrite half on the couch, half on the floor.

"Oh, Naru..." he mumbles in his sleep.

Zoisite smiles and walks over to him. "Yo, Nephrite! Get your lazy ass in gear, it's time to get up!!" Zoisite watches in satisfaction as Nephrite falls all the way onto the floor and bumps his head.

"Augh! Geez, Zoisite, what do you want?!" he says, rubbing his head. (Erm...the one on his neck, ecchi!)

"It's time for breakfast, so come on!"

"Awww, just let me sleep a few more minutes." He rolls over on the ground and instantly begins to snore (Hmmm, sounds like trying to wake me up in the morning ^_^;;).

"Oh, man! Now what do I do?" Suddenly, he gets an idea and grins. He carefully reaches over and steals Nephrite's blanket. He is surprised to find that Nephrite is wearing nothing but boxers. He finds it even funnier that his boxers have little pictures of chocolate parfaits on them. He throws the blanket across the room and walks back into the bar.

"Where's Nephrite?" Tiger's Eye asks.

"Oh, he said he wanted Fish Eye to come wake him up with a kiss," Zoisite says with a grin. Kunzite immediately becomes suspicious of this...

"REALLY?!?!" Fish Eye squeals.

"Yeah. I guess he changed his mind about his preferences." Zoisite grins some more. Kunzite becomes even more suspicious when he notices that Zoisite is holding a camera behind his back...

"Yatta!!!" Fish Eye runs out of the bar and into the living room. He sees Nephrite lying on the floor, wearing nothing but chocolate parfait boxers. Fish Eye grins and dives on top of him. He plants a long, passionate kiss on Nephrite. Suddenly, he sees a flash out of the corner of his eye, but he decides to ignore it. He breaks the kiss with Nephrite and notices him smiling...

Nephrite wakes up and feels someone kissing him. 'It must be Naru...' he thinks happily. He opens his eyes and... "AUGH!! What are you doing to me?!?!" He knocks Fish Eye off of him.

"Zoisite said you wanted me to come wake you with a kiss."

"Zoisite?" He looks up and notices Zoisite, who has been standing in the doorway the whole time giggling as he watched the scene. He notices Zoisite's camera too, and realizes what happened. "Zoisite!! You give me that camera right now!!"

"No way! I have to go to Earth and show these pictures to your little girlfriend!"

"If you do that, I swear I will kill you!!" He knows Naru is an understanding girl, but he knows that even she wouldn't believe a word he said after seeing pictures of him nearly naked while making out with someone on the floor.

"OK, I won't then." Zoisite dissolves the camera. Well, actually, he just teleports it to a hiding spot, but he makes it look to Nephrite like it's completely gone. Nephrite immediately becomes suspicious. It had been WAY too easy to make Zoisite do what he said. He knows Zoisite must be up to something, but he can't figure out what...

All three of them go into the bar (Nephrite still in his underwear o_O;;) "There you are!" Hawk's Eye says, "Nephrite, how many waffles do you want?"

"Oh, I think three should be enough."

"All righty then." (Author giggles, imagining Hawk's Eye acting like Jim Carrey).

When they finally get their food, they all dig in. Zoisite finishes his waffle in two bites and then sits sulking. He is still starving, but he has to stick to his stupid diet to prove he actually has some willpower. He starts eyeing Kunzite's waffles, (Is it just my sick mind, or does something sound odd about that sentence?) hoping he won't be able to eat them all...but from the way Kunzite is eating, it doesn't look like he will get full anytime soon. Zoisite has to do something... "Kunzite-sama."

"Hmph?" Kunzite says, with syrup dripping down his chin (Aww, how CUTE!! *drool*).

"Uhhh..." Zoisite struggles to think of something, "There's a big knot in your hair!"

"Really? Oh no!" Kunzite quickly runs over to a mirror and pulls a brush out of his pocket (A brush in his pocket? Aye, that's gotta be painful sometimes ^_^;;).

Zoisite sees that everyone else is watching Kunzite brush his hair, so he quickly steals one of his waffles, which he finishes in two bites.

When Kunzite sits back down, Zoisite is relieved that he doesn't notice one of his waffles is missing. Even though Zoisite still doesn't feel full, he decides it will be enough to last him an hour or two...

Suddenly, Jadeite walks back in. He looks a little sickened when he sees Fish Eye. Fish eye just smiles at him. "Hello again, Jadeite."

"Don't you even talk to me!" He looks around and notices some familiar faces. "Nephrite? Zoisite? Kunzite? What are you guys doing here?"

"From what we can tell, we were sent here by some guy named Pegasus. He wanted to give former villains a second chance, or something," Kunzite explains.

"Oh," Jadeite says. Then he thinks for a minute. "Wait a second! Former villains? What happened to the Dark Kingdom?"

"Gone," Kunzite says.

"Don't you remember what happened to you?" Nephrite asks.

"I remember I was fighting those three bratty Sailor Senshi. Then I went back to Queen Beryl and she started yelling at me...but I can't remember what happened after that..."

"You were put in Eternal Sleep," Nephrite explains, "Then I took over for you."

"Then I killed Nephrite," Zoisite says, grinning evilly, "And I took over for him!"

"Then that bitch Queen Beryl killed Zoisite," Kunzite says with a snarl, "And I took over for him."

"Then that bitch Sailormoon killed Kunzite-sama!" Zoisite yells, looking very scary, "And no one took over for him, because how could they find anyone better than you?" Zoisite grins at Kunzite.

"OK, I get it now..." Jadeite says, glad that he understands (At least a little bit) what's been going on.

"Well, I'm going to take a shower now," Zoisite says. He looks at Kunzite. "Care to join me?"

"Well, I want to, but I'm not done eating yet..."

"Oh...OK." Zoisite sighs, but he'll manage. He walks up to the bathroom, all alone (Poor, poor Zoi-chan *sniff*). He takes off his clothes, (Ooh *snaps pictures*) turns on the shower, and gets in. Well, he can always shower with Kunzite later. His thoughts start to drift as the warm water relaxes him...

Back downstairs, everyone has finished eating. "Now Fish Eye, I think it's your turn to do the dishes," Hawk's Eye says.

"What? No way, it's your turn!"

"No, since I cooked it, one of you two has to clean it up!" Hawk's Eye yells, pointing at Fish Eye and Tiger's Eye.

"Cooked? All you did was put waffles in a toaster," Tiger's Eye points out.

"So? When we leave the cooking up to you, we usually get cereal!" Fish Eye says.

"Well, when you 'cook', we usually end up eating out!" Tiger's Eye shouts back.

Jadeite, Nephrite, and Kunzite are watching the scene looking like this: o_O;; *_*;; and -_-;; respectively. Kunzite gets thirsty and decides to look for something to drink. 'Isn't there anything besides booze?' he wonders as he looks through the refrigerator. He looks in a cupboard and finds a package of hot choclate mix (Author: Mmm, chocolate *droo~~ol* Zoisite: Mmm, Kunzite *droo~~ol* Author: Hey! These are my comments! Get out! *Zoisite leaves my comments...for now*).

After arguing a few minutes, the Eye's finally decide that Fish Eye will do the dishes. He sulks as he turns the water on...

Seconds later, yelling can be heard from upstairs. "Hey! Who's running water down there?! Stop it! Augh!! I'm being burned!! Turn it off!! TURN IT OFF!!!"

Fiah Eye reaches towards the faucet, but then stops. He's still a bit pissed from that earlier incident with Nephrite. How dare Zoisite set him up like that! He decides to ignore Zoisite's pained yells and continue doing dishes.

"Ummm, Fish Eye? I think you really should turn the water off...if you value your life, that is. Zoisite can and will kill you if you don't," Kunzite says, sipping his hot chocolate.

"I'm not afraid of him," Fish Eye says boldly.

Kunzite looks surprised. "You should be. He's quite powerful..." Suddenly, the water turns off upstairs. Then Zoisite can be heard stomping around. "Uh oh, you're in for it now!" Kunzite says. He decides it will be fun to stay and count how many pieces Fish Eye will be in when Zoisite gets through with him...

Zoisite is in the shower, still thinking about nothing in particular. As he shampoos his hair, he starts wondering how long they are planning on living with these circus freaks...Suddenly, he is snapped back into reality when the water becomes very hot. He figures someone must be running water. He yells for them to stop, but it keeps going. That really pisses him off. How dare someone disturb him during his shower! Somehow, he gets the feeling that Fish Eye is the one who's doing it. Well, he would give him a piece of his mind...He would also give him a left! Then a right! Then a kick in the stomach! He smiles imagining these things as he wraps a towel around his waste and stomps out of the bathroom. He "accidently" stomps on Mamoru's foot as he leaves, who is still sitting in the hall, mumbling and crying. Zoisite stomps into the bar and starts yelling, his eyes glowing red. "All right, which one of you smart ass punks was running water?!"

Everyone except Fish Eye goes super-deformed and cowers in a corner, holding each other (VERY cute ^_-). Fish Eye comes out from behind the bar. "I was," he says confidently.

"Oooh, That's a BIG mistake, Fishy," he says, cracking his knuckles. "Do you know how dead you are? I'm gonna throw you up in the air, and kill you five times before you hit the ground!! Then I'll take your head and mount it on my wall!! Then I'll throw rocks at your ugly face!! Then--" Zoisite stops and notices that everyone except Kunzite and Fish Eye are looking away from him disgusted. He looks down and realizes that his towel fell off. He screams, grabs his towel, and runs into the living room. He sits down on the couch and starts crying, feeling really embarrassed. How can he face them again? He feels someone sit down next to him and looks up. He sees Kunzite looking at him, concerned. He throws his arms around Kunzite and starts mumbling things into his chest. "Oh, Kunzite-sama, why are they all so mean to me?"

Since Zoisite is crying, it's hard for Kunzite to pick up on what he's saying. It sounded to him like Zoisite had said, "Why do they all sell beans to me?" He decides to just keep holding him and stroking his hair. When Zoisite's crying finally dies down, he says to him, "Now, why don't we go finish your shower? This time, I'll join you."

Zosite sniffles. "I'd like that." Kunzite picks him up and they head upstairs. Kunzite "accidently" steps on Mamoru's foot as they walk by...

Back downstairs, Fish Eye decides to start the dishes again, even though he knows Kunzite and Zoisite are in the shower.

Back upstairs again, Kunzite and Zoisite are enjoying their shower.

"That feels so good..." Zoisite mumbles as Kunzite rubs shampoo into his hair. Suddenly, the water gets hot again. "Augh!! I bet it's Fish Eye doing that again! That little bastard! I'll teach him to mess with me!!" Zoisite is about to stomp out of the shower again, but Kunzite stops him.

"I have a better idea of how to stop him besides running downstairs and just screaming at him." Kunzite concentrates and sends a little bolt of energy through the pipes into the kitchen sink. The bolt shocks Fish Eye until he turns the water off. "There, now wasn't that much easier and a lot less embarrassing?"

"I guess so. Now, get back to shampooing my hair."

"Yes, sir!" He gives Zoisite a salute, earning him a strange look...* * * * * * * * * *

Awhile later, Kunzite and Zoisite come back downstairs, fully refreshed.

"Ooh, now it's my turn for the shower!" Nephrite shouts and runs upstairs. He's getting tired of Fish Eye's constant flirting.

"May I join you?" Fish eye yells after him.

"NO!!" Nephrite yells back, turning on the water.

At this point, everyone is in the living room trying to figure out what to watch on TV. Currently, an exciting infomercial about vacuum cleaners is on. Jadeite and Tiger's Eye are fighting for the remote, Hawk's Eye is looking through a TV Guide, and Fish Eye is saying he'd rather play Nintendo and tries to challenge people. Zoisite goes over and joins the battle for the remote, saying he wants to watch the Anime Network (I don't think that's an actual station, but hey, this is a fan-fic!). Kunzite watches them all with a sweatdrop on his head. He starts acting like a teacher trying to get a class to be quiet. "Quiet down, please. Simmer, children, simmer! Focus focus focus!" He starts blinking the lights on and off, but the others continue to ignore him. Finally, he decides to just yell over them. "Shut up now, or I'll bloooooow your house in!"

"Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin," Zoisite says (Umm...that's somewhat hentai, if you know what "chinchin" means in Japanese ^_^;;).

"Speaking of that, I haven't shaved yet..." Hawk's Eye says, (Ummm....no comment ^_^;;) stroking his chin (His chin, not chinchin ^_^;;). "But I guess I'll have to wait until Nephrite gets out of the shower."

"What do you want, Kunzite?" Tiger's Eye asks. He must have been yelling for a reason.

"I think we should find something to do besides watch TV," he says, "But I'm not sure what..."

"I say we should go shopping!" Fish Eye yells excitedly. "I didn't get a chance to go yesterday because you guys showed up."

"Yeah, let's go shopping!" Zoisite yells. "After all, we need to find something to wear besides our uniforms all the time..." He stops and thinks. "But wait a second. I didn't see any malls here in the forest."

"We always go to Earth to shop. They have the best stores there!" Fish Eye explains.

"Alright! Let's go!" Zoisite yells. He and Fish Eye seem to have momentarily forgotten their rivalry (Moral of the day: Shopping brings people closer together ^_^).

"We have to wait for everyone to be ready, Zoisite," Kunzite reminds him.

"Oh, fine then..."

Awhile later, everyone is showered, dressed, and ready to go. Fish Eye has convinced Mamoru that he still loves him, so he comes along too (Yay :P). They all teleport to a dark alley in Tokyo so no one will see them arrive.

"Which way to the nearest mall?!" Zoisite asks. He is so excited, he starts jumping up and down.

"About a kilometer that way. Come on!" Fish Eye and Zoisite bounce along happily, while the others walk normally with sweatdrops on their heads...* * * * * * * * * *

Comments, questions, and macaroni and cheese go to sailorspazz@yahoo.com