Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Broken Mirage ❯ am i not enough? ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

By: Leni_ba

DISCLAIMER: I'd like a wrapped Seiya. Bow not necessary.
WORDCOUNT: 1088
SUMMARY: This is my second favourite scene and I knew I wanted it since I read the lyrics. Okay, so I kinda cheated. But the Senshi is there! *points at Senshi* I'm a lucky girl. I wouldn't have remembered the girls were there if it weren't for the summary. *g*
FEEDBACK: Yay!
A.N.: Me loves episode guides

Written for the 'Your Hope' challenge at sm_monthly. Lyrics are here.

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BROKEN MIRAGE

by Leni

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Venus gasped as the rose hit Nyanko. Thank God, he was back, now Usa-chan would act normally again. Wait. Why weren't they kissing? Or running to each other? If it were her boyfriend arriving out of the blue, she'd be running to him already!

Mercury's eyes widened in hope. It'd been so long. Usagi had tried to hide her apprehension at Mamoru's extended silence, and they had been so useless to lift her spirits. But now he was back. Everything would be alright.

Jupiter mumbled a `Finally!'. Mamoru had taken his sweet time coming back, and she personally would bop him a good one if he didn't have a veeeeeeeeery good explanation for his behaviour towards Usa.

Mars narrowed her eyes. Something was wrong.

*

Mars was right.

*

Seiya watched in disbelief as the beautiful warrior slowly crumbled to her knees. Her wings disappeared in silver dust while the fuku gave way to conventional clothes. But there was nothing conventional about this girl, even when he hadn't discovered her true identity and her role in the Sailor Wars, he'd still known there was something about her. A brilliance, a warmth, a simple smile that managed the impossible and made him smile and joke around.

That sweet girl couldn't be the one he was seeing now. And yet it was.

Her blonde hair rushed forward to shadow her face, but even without a clear view Seiya knew that she was crying. It was obvious in the shake of her shoulders, her crisped fists against the ground. He'd seen her upset before; he'd managed to upset her several times in the last weeks. But there was something eerie about this scene. The roof was suddenly overwhelming with sorrow and helpless anger, a change so abrupt that it dizzied him for a second. When he came back to himself, Usagi was still on the ground. She was crying without a single sound, and that was enough to alert him that this was no usual situation.

He'd come to her help, and just in the nick of time, too. A rose had been all he'd had at time, and even though it wasn't the most effective projectile it'd done its job and driven Nyanko off Odango. He'd seen the blonde's face as she first looked for her savior, too, and been left breathless. The girl always looked good, a cute sort of good. But in that moment, she was beauty personified. Those blue eyes which shone with hope, her lips tremulous as though they couldn't decide whether to smile or scream a name. His name.

No, not his.

She hadn't been looking for him at all. Seiya knew it as her gaze settled on him and all hope fled away and dissolved into the rain. Then he was hit by a sadness so overwhelming that it hurt him. A princess' sadness, and this time she'd managed to make the whole city cry with her.

He knew of loss. He knew of heartbreak. He knew of falling to his knees and wailing at the skies for justice, for revenge, for everything to go back to the way it'd been. He'd lost his whole world and his princess. And yet his feelings seemed a spec in the universe when compared to his Odango's loss.

No, not his.

That was what it was about, wasn't it? That she'd never been his to begin with. That someone else had beaten him to her heart. Seiya looked up at the sky, letting the drops fall onto his face. He heard her every word. Her self-recriminating protests, the admission that she'd taken him for another. “I want to see Mamo-chan,” she finished, a broken murmur that was more a hopeless plead than a statement.

Mamo-chan. Mamoru Chiba. The bastard who'd flown away to God knows where and abandoned sweet Usagi like yesterday's news. And she was crying for him? And she was wishing that he'd come back? “Am I not enough?” Seiya bit out, helpless to stop himself. She didn't even seem to hear him, lost into her thoughts as her tears kept falling and mingling with the rain on the ground. “Am I not enough?” he repeated, hopelessly.

She finally looked up at him, but there was no answer. Only a drip-drip-drip of raindrops hitting the floor.

To Seiya, each sounded distinctly like a 'no-never-no.'

*

Venus bit her lip as she recognised the figure on the ceiling. No. No. No! It was supposed to get better, not worse. Her heart broke along with her princess' and she allowed herself to share in the pain. It wasn't enough to help Usa-chan. But it was the only thing a Senshi of Love could do. It wasn't fair!

Mercury exhaled slowly, grounding herself against the wave of sadness that radiated from the scene before them. She couldn't fully understand it, why Usagi would be so lost without Mamoru, but it had always been that way, and to have believed she had her boyfriend back just to realise it had been her imagination…. Poor Usagi. It just didn't seem fair. Then Mercury looked up and her visor allowed him a clear view of Seiya's features. Poor Seiya, too.

Jupiter let out a curse. Her hands fisted at her side and simultaneously, lighting struck within the rainclouds. It wasn't fair, damn it. She'd never thought to dislike Mamoru, much less hate him, but in that moment she did. She could feel the pain inside Usagi's heart; the tears that ran down her own cheeks felt more like her princess' than hers. To be helpless against heartbreak. To have all this power and be unable to make Usa smile. She hit her thigh savagely, and thunder resonated across all Tokyo.

Mars sighed; her own heart broke in two in Usagi's behalf. It was her fault. If she'd brought the girls back sooner, if they'd arrived just a second earlier, Seiya wouldn't have had to step in. He would have never had the awful idea of using a rose and even as Mars was glad that her princess had been saved, she scowled at the ill-advised choice of weapon. The damage was done, though, and Usagi was paying the consequences. It wasn't fair, but Mars knew that fairness rarely did an apparition in the real world. Usagi deserved the best, both of life and of her Senshi. Mars would make this better. She wouldn't rest until she saw Usagi smiling unreservedly once again. After tonight, things could only get better.

*

Mars was right.

But, for now, the rain kept falling.

The End
05/01/06