Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Don't Close Your Eyes ❯ Awakening ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: I want Sailor Moon but I can't have it.

Awakening
By Maetel
Rating PG
Email: deathssurrender@netscape.net

Awakening

March 23,

I can't believe she has been gone for a week. The hardest week of my life. Every night I have cried myself to sleep. I lost her because I stayed away. That fact makes me want to end it all. That is when I remember the senshi are going through the same thing. They lost not only their leader but their friend. I have not spoken to any of them since the day I lost her. I know they all hate me and blame me for Usako's death. I blame myself for the same reason. I miss her so much. Why? Why did I have to listen to that damn dream? How could I have been such a fool? Is there any way I can get her back? Maybe only in my dreams. Maybe I deserved this. For what happened when I was one of Beryl's minions. Maybe I am just cursed. Everyone who loves me is destined to die. First my parents then her. Everyone was better off when I was a loner.

Mamoru

March 24,

Today there was an attack. When the senshi arrived I was also just arriving to the scene. By the look of the youma it looked as though it had already fought and was nearly destroyed. The senshi finished it off easily but as I was leaving I could have sworn I saw her silhouette. I must be missing her more than I thought. I know it wasn't her because I blinked and then she was gone. I looked to the senshi to see if they had noticed anything but they were gone. Today just made me feel even more guilt. Maybe it was just fatigue mixing with wishes.

Mamoru

March 25,

It happened again. I went for a walk through Ichinohashi Park and for a moment I could have sworn I heard her crying. I looked around for the source of the crying but I saw noone. I swear I'm losing it. It has got to be the guilt. I feel awful about what happened. I feel even worse knowing that the last thing she ever heard me say was that I didn't love her anymore. How could I have been so stupid. Ara Kami-sama I miss her so much. I need her. I need my Usako. I can't go on without her.

Mamoru

March 25(Entry 2),

I must miss her more than I thought because I had the dream which foretold her death at our wedding and when I woke up I could have sworn she was watching over me. Her hair was down but she was still the same angel. But when I turned on the light the angel I love was gone. My guilt is getting to me more than I thought. Maybe I need to go for a walk and clear my head.

Mamoru

March 26,

Last night when I went for a walk and I ended up right in front of what used to be Usagi's home. When I got there I heard the sound of an attack coming from behind the house. I immediately transformed and jumped onto the roof. That is when I saw this amazing warrior whom looked exactly like Usako except her hair was silver like Usako's was during the Silver Millennium and it was in a long braid which went down to her knees. She fought with incredible speed and agility. I only saw her falter once and that was when she was struck in the exact place in which Usako was in her final battle. I saw intense pain in her eyes but only for a moment. When the pain in her eyes was gone she uttered the phrase, "Forgive me." She then sent a large blast of silver light at the creature which destroyed it immediately. She then looked up at me and gasped; I think it was the first time she noticed I was there. When I attempted to speak with her, the girl ran off. I wish I knew who she was and why she reminds me so much of Usako. All questions will be answered in time hopefully.

Mamoru

March 27,

I cannot stop thinking about that new warrior. Who is she? Where did she come from? Why can I not stop thinking about her? Why does she remind me so much of Usako. Her eyes and hair are different from the Usako's in this time. Maybe I am just hoping too much. Maybe I am wanting this new warrior to be Usako. Maybe I am finally losing it. That wouldn't surprise me.

I spoke with Rei-san for the first time in over a week. She knew of the battle last night. She asked me if I saw the warrior she saw in her vision. When I told her I did, she asked me if I felt some strange vibrations coming from her. I told her that I didn't. Before she hung up she told me one thing I didn't expect anyone to say. She said she didn't blame me for Usako's death. She said she blamed herself for not protecting her princess. Rei hung up when she started to sob. I am now starting to realize how much Usako meant to the senshi. I think about going to see them but right now the pain is still too much for me to bear. Maybe someday.

Mamoru

March 28,

It is her. The new female warrior is Usako. I found out after the latest battle to day against a youma. Let me start from the beginning. A youma attacked the business district of Tokyo. I arrived there first and tried to keep people from getting hurt. The warrior arrived out of nowhere and attacked the youma with a blast that sent it flying. The youma was stronger than most of the ones we had fought before which was obvious since the youma stood up and seemed unhurt. The creature then attacked the one whom attacked it last. It rammed the warrior into a wall. I heard her cry out in pain. The creature held her by the neck slowly choking the life out of her quickly weakening body. I threw a rose at the youma's hand. The rose hit and made the youma let her go. The warrior was on her knees holding her side her eyes clenched shut in pain. After a second she slowly stood and prepared her attack. This time she did not ask the youma to forgive her. She simply said, "Sayonara."

After she vaporized the youma the warrior fell to her knees once more clutching her side. This time I saw blood ooze out between her fingers. I ran to her quickly to see what was the matter. When I kneeled beside her she fell into my arms. I then carefully picked her up and carried her to my apartment which was not to far from the attacked area. I gently laid her on my couch and went to the bathroom to get a first aid kit. I ripped her outfit just above the area which was bleeding. The injury was deeper than I thought so I went and quickly got what I needed to stitch up her side. After cleaning the wounded area, I quickly sewed up the wound.

After about an hour she detransformed and that is when I found out. There she was with her usual blonde hair done up in the adorable odango fashion. I cannot explain the joy I felt when I saw her in front of me alive. I didn't care how it was possible I was just glad she had returned to me. Right now she is still unconscious on the couch. I have only left her once to get this journal to record this moment.

March 29,

I realize I ended up abruptly last time but I Usako had awoken. She was slightly disoriented but when she realized where she was she immediately stood up. She fell back quickly clutching her side. I was there and saw that none of the stitches had torn.

When I finally got her to lie down I asked her what had happened and how she was alive. She said she couldn't say much but that some allies from the future had stopped her from being embalmed and healed her. They then gave her a new transformation while one of them dealt with erasing everyone's memories of what had happened. She said that she had been staying with a race car driver named Tenou Haruka and a musician named Kaiou Michiru while everything was being taken care of.

After she had finished her account of everything that had gone on, I told her how much I loved her and of why I broke up with her. I told her about the dream of our wedding and of the ground breaking apart and of her dying. I told her how I only did it to protect her.

By the time I had finished the sun was rising we were both about to fall asleep. I gently picked her up and carried her to my bed. I laid her down and said I would take the couch. She asked me not to leave her and moved over so I could lie beside her. I only planned to stay there until she fell asleep but I ended up falling asleep myself. I then woke up with my Usako asleep in my arms with a small smile on her face. I guess I must have been smiling because when she woke up she said, "I finally get to wake up to the most beautiful site in the world."

After about three hours, I drove her home purposely taking the long route so our time together would be as long as possible. But, now, I realize that that time can never be long enough.

Mamoru

Le Fin

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What did you think? I hope you liked it. I had a slight case of writer's block when I write started this because I had no idea how to write it. I finally came up with the idea of journal entries after about five hours of deliberation. Please tell me what you think.

Ja ne,
Maetel

"The hardest thing in the world to do is live" -Buffy Summers from Buffy The Vampire Slayer episode 100 The Gift

"At the very end even if I turn out to be a monster please know that I never meant to betray you." Maetel from Galaxy Express 999