Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Don't Let Me Remember ❯ Don't Let Me Remember ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

I've always loved the idea of Sere subconsciously- or consciously- remembering her past on the moon even before she officialy got her memories back. It's something I think would be hard to forget. So here's a short ficlet describing one such scene.

Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Mystery / Suspense / Angst | Type: Vignette | Uploaded On: 06.13.2006 | Pages: 4 | Words: 3.1K | Visits: 620 | Status: Completed

Don't Let Me Remember

"Luna, how likely do you think it is that I actually know the Moon

Princess in REAL life?"

"Hmm," the imperious black cat didn't even open her eyes from where she

snugly lay in a fold of Usagi's bed blankets as she answered the blonde's casual

question. "Well, knowing that she is definitely living in this area and how

long you've lived here, it is entirely likely you could know her. With the

obvious possibility of her being within your age range, you could even know her

personally at school or the arcade you love so much."

Usagi sat curled up in the window seat, chin to her knees, a thin, white

and pink flowered sheet draped her shoulders in a fine cloak, covering her body

in a vain attempt to keep the chill air gracing the windowpane away from her

skin. The green and white jelly bean ears of a stuffed Easter bunny caressed

her cheeks as they stuck out from her lap where she had it tightly cuddled. The

pair of bunnies had been quietly gazing out the window for over an hour now.

Outside a cold rain drizzled in glittering rivulets of chaotic, snakey

patterns, the flickering glow of lost flashes of light beyond the low, misty

clouds revealed the only colors of the night: black, and darker black. The

mumbles of distant angels bowling promised a great game with every strike

crashing across the sky.

"Does she know she's the princess? Shouldn't she be looking for us

too?" Luna lazily opened one eye, wondering at the sudden interest her charge

had in the Sailor Scouts' mission. Usagi usually only did as told, never trying

to get too involved- as if the actual thinking and planning would make this

'wacky dream' a reality. The girl's azure eyes were still focused on the

twinkling diamond drops falling within a half inch of the tip of her nose, her

marigold hair twisted in curls with little red and pink bows beside her face and

cloaking her petite body. The guardian cat felt another pang of regret.

Sitting there, so still and serene, Usagi was beautiful. Her profile

regal and balance graceful, she still held an inner light of innocence against

the blackness of the night, the same powerful glow that had caught Luna's

attention in the first place. This golden child would have had a normal,

carefree, blissful life if she hadn't chosen her then to become the moon's

champion. It was all Usagi wished and wanted ever since- not that she cursed

the day she met the black cat nor the friends she'd made of her fellow Scouts.

But this radiant girl could have remained as happy and oblivious to evil as she

was the day they'd met and she had the kindness to save a defenseless feline

from a bunch of punk kids.

Now, Luna felt, it seemed she had accepted the pressures of their world

for her fragile shoulders, the safety of the earth and her people were now lives

she must give everything to protect. She might have finally forsaken her hopes

for a sheltered, free existence for the life of eternal battle against evil.

'Poor child,' Luna thought sadly. She deeply regretted stealing the girl's

naiveté but tried to think of it in comparison to the lives they saved. Usagi

had never held back before when it came to Molly's life or any other's but she'd

just as surely never taken an active interest in Scout business.

Luna had to wonder at her sudden change of heart. Something must have

happened . . .

The black cat lifted her head and opened her eyes fully, properly

addressing Usagi in contrite hopes the girl was finally ready to address the

problem of the missing Millennium heir. Carefully, she paused, thinking before

answering too quickly and scaring off Usagi's inquiries. "It is possible.

She could know who she is and why she is here and still choose to remain

hidden due to all the Dark Kingdom activity. Or, just like the Scouts, she might

not have awakened yet which is more likely. I would like to believe I would

know when she awoke." Again the cat paused, hoping to catch the girl's eye.

"Why do you ask, Usagi?"

The scintillating sparkle of glistening raindrops drew Usagi's attention

away from the present and her guardian; her fascination with the gleam of the

tiny, watery crystals tickled her mind in a curious way. The same unnatural

tickle she received when she focused on her friends, particularly the three

Sailor Scouts, or her dreams and nightmares concerning them and that handsome

baka Mamoru. Or when she put her hair up in the same style she'd worn for

years, or fell a little too deeply into her daydreams, so real they were almost

memory . . .

"We don't even know what she looks like, it's practically hopeless, an

impossible mission . . ." She grumbled but her words fell to a soft murmur, as

if her automatic whining complaint had died in the middle of the sentence as her

mind was lost in thought. Usagi blinked slowly then spoke her next question a

little louder, as if trying to make a point to some invisible person. "So she

could be anyone and not even know she's the princess . . ?"

Again, the cat nodded, her ears perking forward with growing interest.

Had Usagi stumbled onto something? There must be a reason behind the

questions-

Usagi absently noticed Luna's increasing awareness and was quick to belay

her guardian's thoughts. "It's nothing, Luna. Just coincidences, only a hunch

really." She undermined her credibility concerning her thinking skills,

completely blowing off the ideas that exploded in her head the moment she had

begun to concentrate on the Sailor Scouts' mission to find the missing Moon

Princess. It was impossible, inconceivable- and yet, the deceitful idea

persisted in her mind as if the stupid concept belonged there, an undeniable

fact. And she wanted to deny that treacherous idea as hard and quickly as

possible. Well, not so much deny and disprove it as to forget the notion had

ever occurred to her. Her life was more than plenty a mess as it was. She

didn't need this too-

"Usagi, you know you cannot ignore your instincts. You are the leader of

the Scouts and seem to be awakening faster than the others. Your heart is your

special power. Don't ignore it." With that, Usagi's guardian seemed to give

up her interrogation and furled herself back up in the warm quilt. Even if

Usagi did find or think of something, she wouldn't tell Luna until she was ready

to accept the fact that she really was worthy of the leadership position she'd

been thrust into.

Softly, as if giving a dream voice, Usagi's thoughts were heard as she

absently spoke them to the invisible stars, not caring that Luna could hear if

she wanted to. She almost wanted her to know, to challenge her and force her

to give up her secrets- that would be doing SOMETHING, for good or ill, she

wouldn't have to hide it all inside, trying to forget before the others remembered or realized her thoughts. She couldn't stand sitting here thinking such horrible things

without anyone to deny it and tell her how vain and stupid she was for considering it.

If Luna would but challenge her, Usagi would tell her, tell her

everything- "We are missing another. The princess of Venus, Sailor Venus,

and she is Sailor V. So she should be leader, not me. If she awoke before

us, then so could- the moon princess . . ." Usagi sighed, mortally exhausted by

her internal battle. Unconsciously, her eyes focused on the exact spot the moon

would be seen were the clouds not so thick. "Venus was the leader, before me,

the leader of my Scouts . . ." 'My scouts. It's impossible, unthinkable! I

don't want to remember those things. Life changed and crashed. It was a

horrible time to live, especially to be me. But my dreams are as perfect as

memories. It's my face in the reflections, my voice, it's me who speaks in

such a commanding tone. The people I see and talk to, the wonderful and

tedious things I do- and I thought being Sailor Moon was difficult. Being sole

heir to a galaxy-spanning kingdom . . .' Usagi mentally shook her head.

'Impossible. I don't want any part of it, not now, and please, not ever again.'

Deliberately, Usagi apologized to whomever might be listening to her

thoughtless rambling, absently choosing her words that she whispered to the

moon's tears beyond the glass. She knew who cried for her. Her voice took on a

sorrowed, grateful whisper. "This life is so much easier, even if it is no

longer as normal as you hoped, Mother . . ." Usagi turned her eyes away from

the moon, letting her head fall to her knees, her tears cushioned by the blanket

as she thoughtlessly fell into another daydream of a silver-haired woman and a

midnight-haired prince with eyes as dark as the earth's blue oceans. Of

watching the earthset beside each other on a fountain of pure white marble, and

water that seemed to float rather than fall, her heart, surely as the stars,

flying away with it.

Unbelievable illusion as it may seem, the long lost princess of the moon,

last living heir to the dead kingdom of the white moon and Silver Millennium,

had indeed, all ready been found. In the heart of Usagi Serenity Tsukino.

Luna continued to stare in awe.