Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Don't take me home ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Serenitas 
Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 09.15.2002 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.6K | Visits: 1.1K | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 09.15.2002 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.6K | Visits: 1.1K | Status: Completed
Hello hello people! Thank you for all the amazing reviews! You like me, you really like me. Well as for my poll, the majority of people want Haruka to beat the crap out of Mamoru, which I will happily deliver, for it fits into my plotline perfectly. Also, there is a slight majority for having Usagi and Mamoru get back together after he grovels and begs a little. Well I won't have them get back together permanently, but there will be a brief interlude between them in this chapter. I hope you all enjoy! I am still trying to figure out how Usagi is "sex-mad." Her people have turned love and seduction into an art, she is a Lunarian and has been taught love and seduction from the cradle so to speak. Love is not an game to her, it is life to her. I am not getting rid of the purity of Usagi, but I am making her stronger. If anyone disagrees, let me know and I'll change this chapter, but this chapter is crucial for the development of Usagi.
Usagi sat in a meditative state, trying to separate herself from her body. She had slowed her breathing and reached inside herself, visualizing the link between her and Mamoru. Shining reddish-gold, she found it, so close to her heart, a part of herself she had taken for granted. The cord was strong and thick, stretching from her into infinity, stretching to the one she couldn't allow herself to love anymore. 'He put a knife through my dreams, through my heart, and I'm back where I started again.' She thought to herself. 'Never thought it would end.' She reached for the link and grasped it firmly in her hands, prepared to break it.
"I have finally found you," an angry voice said behind her. "Now Usagi you are goddamn well going to listen to me."
Usagi cracked her eyes, sighing at the lost moment and the loss of silence. A bird let out a squawk and took wing, flying rapidly away. A small tear in her eye, she watched it leave. 'One day I'll fly away, leave all this to yesterday. Why live life from dream to dream?' she thought before turning to Mamoru. "What the hell do you want?" she snapped, picturing Rei on top of him, and turning her head in disgust.
Mamoru knelt beside her on the grassy hill. "Usako please listen to me. I'm sorry. Rei cast a lust charm on me to make me desire her." He began.
Usagi shook her head. "It doesn't matter Mamoru. I know of her lust charms, and they have to have feelings on both sides for it to work. She may have cast the lust charm on you, but if the feelings weren't there in you on some level, then it would never have worked."
"That may be true Usako, but you have to believe me, I never wanted to hurt you." Mamoru explained. "That's why I never once took her to my bed."
"No you took her outside where all an-sundry could see you." Usagi replied acidly. "You made fun of me, you mocked me, and you told her I wouldn't give you an adult relationship that you needed. You never once asked me Mamoru, hell you never even brought up the subject!" she spat. "I never took mind reading 101!"
"You could have used the link." Mamoru said softly. "I depend on that link Usako. That link is my lifeline because in the past, and the future, and now, it leads me to you. You are my salvation. So I had a little interlude with Rei. It meant nothing."
"I don't use the link like you do Mamoru." Usagi said angrily. "I don't depend on it to tell me what my boyfriend is thinking and feeling. I do it the old fashioned way, with love and caring, and reading body language."
"You know I'm not good with things like this Usako. Until you I felt little to nothing. Women were just an outlet like any other." Mamoru shrugged. "I'm a man, so I'm excused."
Usagi stood. "Being a man doesn't mean you can't try to understand. When I wanted to find you, I went out and looked, I never even thought of this damn link! I never once tried to read your mind with it, except when you evil. The only time I tried to use the link to find you, Galaxia had killed you and I was empty inside. There was so much hurt in me, and all I could think was what you had told me before you left. You said, and I quote: "I'll be gone for a year or more. Is that ok?" You never gave me a chance to say yes or no, you had already decided. You told me: "I'll be too busy to write or call you." I told you fine, I'd write you and wait for you and keep loving you. You gave me a ring, and then said: "I have to leave." You never said anything else. Yes, you finally, FINALLY told me you loved me, but you didn't ask me to wait for you. I don't think you truly cared if I had or not."
Mamoru also stood. "Of course I cared Usako! You are my life!"
"I am not." Usagi snarled. "If I was, maybe you would have cared. Maybe you wouldn't have dreamt of Setsuna, screwed Rei and taken the side of Chibi Usa over mine. You couldn't even answer who you loved more Mamoru!"
"How can a man choose between his daughter and his love?" Mamoru protested.
"A daughter that doesn't exist Mamoru!" Usagi exploded. "She's not even born yet! And there is nothing, NOTHING you can do to convince me that if we got back together, you wouldn't be doing it to assure the birth of Chibi Usa. Without trust there can be no love, and I can't trust you."
Mamoru's eyes had darkened to a stormy dark blue. "Can you ignore all we had?"
Usagi let out a short, pain filled laugh. "In the end Mamoru, we had nothing. We had dates that took place in the park, and were always interrupted either by youma or Chibi Usa. Some dates. Yes, we had that brief interlude in your apartment before Chibi Usa and I switched bodies, but that's it. We have done nothing, and we have nothing. I once had a rock star Mamoru, Seiya, the one who's name you've forbidden me to mention. He told me he loved me. He begged to know why he wasn't good enough. He told me it was ok he was in a one sided love, because he loved me anyway and not to worry about it. He took me on the best date of my life, he held me when I cried, he protected me when I was home alone. His first thought was always of me, and while I was afraid of it, I was flattered by it. You never treated me so gently, so caringly. He let me open up to him in a way no one ever has before, with the exception of Haruka."
"You throw your dalliance with Seiya in my face?" Mamoru roared. "What about what you did with Motoki?"
Usagi shook her head. "Baka! Motoki looks at me as a younger sister, like Unazuki. I look at him as an older brother. He tutored me, he helped me. He was so excited for me. We did nothing. Oh wait!" Usagi said, snapping her fingers. "He hugged me and kissed me on the cheek! My god! I'm a fallen woman!" Usagi turned her head from Mamoru. "I let another man hug me!" she turned back to Mamoru, her eyes hard. "You *ucked another woman." She snapped.
Mamoru ran his hands through my hair. "I'm screwing this up." He muttered.
"What are you trying to do?" Usagi asked, pain in her voice. "Hurt me more?"
Mamoru shook his head. "I thought it was over Usako, I thought I could move on. I woke up last night calling your name, and feeling the blame. Thought I could quit you but, I still miss your love, what was I thinking? Thinking I could still walk down the street, without you by my side, or make it through one night, alone? I lied. I said a lot of things, I didn't really mean, how can I make you see what matters most to me? Usako I should've known it, I couldn't last a moment without you."
"The words come too late." Usagi whispered, hardening her heart. "And actions speak louder than words. Your actions are the opposite of everything you've just said."
"You've got every right to turn and walk away. I can't make you stay." Mamoru said, trying reverse psychology. "I broke your heart, that's the bottom line, I wasted so much precious time. I see you with the Outers, wearing a smile again, what was I thinking?"
"Yes I do have the right to leave. And I am." Usagi whirled and began to descend the small hill.
Mamoru, unable…unwilling? To let her go, reached out and caught her arm. Without a word her drew her to him and lowered his lips to her mouth, groaning as he tasted her sweet lips. He drank in her taste as a dying man in the desert, and tightened his grip on her, aware that she was no longer struggling against his grip. Through the link he felt her desire for him, and he used it to the fullest. Gently lowering her to the ground, never breaking the kiss, his tongue nudged her lips apart and he invaded her mouth. She tasted so sweet, and her smell invaded his nostrils. Her lingering scent of perfume that permeated his apartment and haunted his memory. Chibi Usa might amuse him, but Usagi aroused him. Rei might give in to him, but had she ever made him feel happy and angry and confused and sad all at once? Rei agreed blindly with him, Usagi challenged him. She was not the little girl she had been. He felt her begin to respond to his kiss as all rational thought went out the window, and all his control began to vanish. He slowly kneaded one of her perfect breasts, running his hand under her shirt and listening to her cry of startlement as he touched her in a way he never had before. Tearing himself away from her lips, he gently kissed her neck before lowering his lips to one of her bra-encased breasts.
Usagi closed her eyes as the world fell away at alarming speed. She had heard, but had never known feelings like this were possible. She had never known it was possible to ache and need. She had never known of the fire inside. She felt his hands glide up her thighs, coming to her secret place, a place that up until now was only for her. His hands unfastened her shorts and slid inside and she let out another guttural cry. She couldn't speak, and found words would have only ruined the moment. When one finger probed her entrance, she thought she would die for pleasure of it.
Usagi was prepared to throw her promises out the window, her vow to never take him back, her hurt at his betrayal. Betrayal. That word made her freeze, her blood running cold. She looked down at Mamoru, feasting on her breasts, pleasuring her body, and saw him doing it to Rei. Oh he was a clever one! Using things he had never done to her to make her listen to him. She once again saw Rei straddled on his lap, heard his pleasured moans and Rei moved on top of him. "Stop." She said in a small voice, then louder. "No! Stop!" she shoved him away, and rapidly pulled down her shirt and redid her shorts.
Mamoru looked up at her, her words penetrating the passion induced fog. "Usako, you can't tell me you weren't enjoying that. Your moans spoke volumes."
Usagi stood, wrapping her arms around herself to stop her trembling. "I knew you had other women Mamoru. I could have overlooked them by the refusal to be jealous of a memory. But I SAW you and Rei together and I can't get that image out of my head. I can't have you touch me!" she cried out. "Don't come near me again Mamoru! This betrayal of a sacred trust cannot be forgiven!"
Mamoru grabbed her wrist. "Tell me how to make this up to you." He demanded. "Selenity…"
Usagi gasped, her fact turning white. "I am NOT Selenity. I am not your lover from the past, nor your wife from the future! I am Tsukino Usagi! I am me! I love you for who you are, but you just proved you love me only for who I was and who I will be! You MIGHT have been able to earn my forgiveness for what you had done, and I was on the verge of doing so, but to call me Selenity…" she trailed off, hurt coursing through the link and driving him back a step.
"Usako…I do love you, and I love you as Selenity." He tried to explain.
"You're just like all the others!" Usagi screamed suddenly. "You don't know me or want to know me. You claim to love me, but how can you when you don't know who I am?" wrenching her wrist free, she ran down the hill and out of sight, leaving Mamoru to stare after her, dumbstruck.
Mamoru walked towards his apartment, determination rising again. "Every time I try to make up to her, I end up sticking my foot in it." He said aloud.
"Pity for you." A cold and angry voice said in his ear. "I warned you Chiba. I warned you about staying away from her. Now, you have hurt her worse. She came to Michiru, crying as though her soul was being torn out. I don't know how, since you ripped it out a few days ago."
Mamoru turned to see the icy blue eyes of Haruka, who was seething with rage, surrounded by the glow of her aura of Uranus. "Haruka, it's not what you think." He began.
"Trying to make love to a pure innocent on a hilltop?" Haruka could barely form words, she was so livid. "That's something you do with a tramp like Rei, not a princess like Usagi."
Mamoru winced. "She told you?" he asked in a quiet voice. "Dammit."
Haruka nodded. "She told us everything." She said in a lethal voice. "I've warned you several times Chiba. Now the warnings are done. You have hurt her again. You've hurt her enough." Without another word, Haruka used the heel of her palm to strike Mamoru's nose. His eyes watered and he bent over, giving Haruka the opening she had been waiting for. She brought her knee up to his midsection, grabbing the scruff of his neck and tossing him on the ground, in a parody of what Usagi had done to Rei the other day. "The Princess gave me good fighting tips." She smiled.
"Haruka, try to listen to reason…" Mamoru ground out, getting up, blood coursing from his nose.
"I will listen to nothing when it comes to my Princess. I like her and love her not for who she was or will be, but for who she is…Usagi, a girl who cannot be on time to save her life, a girl who cannot cook. A girl who would and has willingly given up her life for others, even those she doesn't know, not out of duty or a sense of who she was, but because that's who she is. Can you say as much?" Haruka sneered.
Mamoru raised his head and Haruka punched him quickly in the eye. Spinning, she kicked him in the midsection, and then again in the groin. With Mamoru in a small ball on the ground, she punched his floating rib, smiling when she heard it break. Hauling him to his feet, she brought his head to hers and smashed her forehead against his head. She slapped him across the face, convinced she had loosened some of his teeth. Mamoru tried to get up, to fight back, but Haruka was driven by a rage she hadn't felt in years. She swept his legs out from underneath him and grabbed one of his wrists, twisting it in an unnatural position. "So the great Tuxedo Kamen can't even fight back?" she snarled as she heard him yell out in pain. Wrapping her hands around his throat, she slowly began to strangle him, fully intent on ending his life.
"Haruka stop it right now!"
Haruka instantly froze and stood, turning to face Usagi who stood with a note clutched in her hand. "Usagi."
Usagi glanced down at Mamoru, tears staining her face. "You couldn't even deny her accusations could you Mamoru?" she asked softly. She wrapped her arms around him and looked at Haruka. "Help me get him to his apartment. It's the least we can do."
Haruka grunted acknowledgement. "We could just leave him here…?"
"I will not leave anyone lying in the street! Not even him." Usagi explained. "Not even Rei."
"You are too nice." Haruka said, frowning. "Did you get your passport done?"
Usagi shook her head. "The paperwork is being processed, but nothing can be done today. I sent an email to the school asking them to move the departure date up. I hope they answer tomorrow. I want to get out of here, and away from him."
Haruka pushed the elevator button. "I agree. I think this is the best thing for you."
Usagi nodded. She didn't say anything until they arrived at his door. She pulled out her key and smiled at Haruka. "I'll be right back 'Ruka. Please wait here."
"Of course." Haruka nodded. "Don't be too long."
Usagi drug Mamoru to his couch and lay him on it as best she could. Seeing he was unconscious, she lay a small kiss on his cheek and lips. "Thank you Mamoru for letting me feel loved once in your life. No matter where I go or what I do Mamoru, you will always be part of me and I will always love you." She laid her note on his chest and ran out one last time, laying her key on his table by the door. Haruka glanced up, concerned. "Come on Haruka. We have a new life to plan."
Mamoru awoke in a haze of pain. He glanced around, seeing him on his couch in his apartment. The scent of Usagi's perfume was still fresh in the air. He transformed into Tuxedo Kamen and then back to Mamoru, thanking the Goddess for those mysterious healing powers. He saw a note on his chest, written in Usagi's small hand and he opened it, his heart soaring until he read the words, and his heart sank.
**I am writing this to tell you, we can never meet again. Simple really, isn't it? A world or two and then, a lifetime of not knowing, where or how or why or when. You think of me or speak of me and wonder what befell someone you once loved, so long ago, so well. Never wondered what I feel as living shuffles by. You don't have to ask me, and I need not reply. Every moment of my life, from now until I die, I will think or dream of you and fail to understand how a perfect love can be confined and out of hand. Is it written in the stars? Are we paying for some crime? Is that all that we are good for? Just a stretch of model time? Is this goddess's experiment in which we have no say?
Nothing can be altered and there is nothing to decide. No escape or change of heart or anyplace to hide. You are all I'll ever want and this I can't deny, sometimes in my darkest nights I'll wish I never learned what it is to be in love and have that love returned. Good as I was to you, is this the thanks I get? Are all the years we shared so easy to forget? Is she your dream come true? Did you think it through? She sure looks good but she won't ever be good as I was to you.
Goodbye Mamoru. Do not follow me or try to contact me. Today was a mistake, but a memory I will cherish. I've moved on with my life and I suggest you do the same. I am going to find out who Tsukino Usagi is, and if it means a life without you then so be it, but in truth, even when you were in my life, you weren't fully there.
Know that for this moment, I love you, though I may never speak those words again.
Usagi (or Usako to you, but only for this last time).
Tears coursed down his face as he came to the end of the letter. He felt a wrenching in his chest and had a glimpse of something reddish-gold seeping out of him. Through the link he reached for Usagi and encountered a void. A blankness he had never felt before and cold ran through his body. She had broken the link. He could not feel her, sense her. He could not find her. His wail was that of a man who had had his soul torn out. In a rapid decision he grabbed a pen and paper and began making a list. He would follow her to Canada. He would learn what she wanted him to. He realized in that one moment of cold shock that it wasn't Selenity or Neo-Queen Selenity that had made him feel fulfilled and loved. It was Usagi. It was the purity and love of Usagi and her innate goodness, and he, blind fool that he was never realized it, and now it was gone. He thought of all she had ever told and in a moment of clarity, he knew what Haruka knew, saw what she saw. "I have to get her back." He vowed.
"Good luck." A regal voice said.
He looked up, scrubbing tears away, and saw Queen Serenity. "Your Majesty."
"You moron." The gentle Queen Serenity snapped. "You deserve everything she's doing to you."
"I love her Serenity. Usagi. Not just Selenity." He explained. "Until this moment I never realized it." He sighed. "And I will never get her back."
Queen Serenity regarded him coldly. "I have come to point something out to you Endymion, and listen well for I do not like doing this to the man who has hurt her so badly. She has said from the beginning you "may never" make this up to her, and that it'll be "almost impossible" to get her back."
"Then there is a chance!" his face lit up.
"Be warned Endymion that my patience is at an end with you. I told her how to break your link. I encouraged it. She is not a toy to be used, and you have infuriated me beyond all reason. If I hadn't witnessed just now how much you do love her, I would not be here, and you would be missing vital male organs. I am most displeased you tried to make love to my daughter on a hilltop!" Queen Serenity held up a hand. "She will make you grovel and weep for her. She wants you to suffer and hurt just as much as she has, and I agree with her, as do her remaining senshi. I am sickened and disgusted by you for falling for a charm of Rei's. She was correct earlier, when she said that there had to be feeling on your end for the charm to work." Queen Serenity shook her head. "Do not follow her Endymion. Set her free. She is at a difficult time, nearing her seventeenth birthday. She is afraid and needs time, not be Sailor Moon, Selenity or your girlfriend. If you follow her, it will be the worst thing you can do."
"I appreciate your candour your Majesty," Endymion began. "But I will follow her to the ends of the earth to get her to listen to me."
Queen Serenity let out an exasperated sigh. "I cannot tell you what to do Endymion, but listen well. I am shocked and appalled at how you treat her. You sided with a daughter you may never have over her. I don't need to tell you that you are a fool, many people take care of that for me. But perhaps you want to check on Chibi Usa right now. Since Usagi has no intention of coming back to you, she's vanishing for periods at a time. Usagi is changing the timeline, and right now the future has no Chibi Usa in it. I am not upset by the loss of a granddaughter, as I never liked that child to begin with."
"I don't care about Chibi Usa anymore." Endymion lied.
"Don't lie to me Endymion." Serenity's eyes went ice cold. "Or I will blast you from here to hell." She warned. "Uranus did a good job of beating you, and I wish I were alive enough to add a few blows myself."
"Why are you here?" he snarled.
"Rei and Makoto are planning on killing Usagi. You must stop them. If you love my daughter, then keep her alive. Haruka will just kill them outright, as will Usagi, though it will break her dear heart. Try to talk sense into them Endymion." Serenity advised.
"I will your Majesty." Endymion bowed. "Thank you."
"Think of this as your only chance Endymion." Serenity snapped. "And leave my daughter alone. You've hurt her enough. What is there in her heart but pain from you?"
Rei's eyes narrowed as she saw Usagi pause outside a window and smile at the inside. "I'm coming for you Usagi." She breathed, as her hands wrung together, visualizing her throat. "You will pay princess, and you will not escape. The Senshi can't help you now. This is personal."
She drew back into the shadows as Usagi passed near, the urge to reach out and be done with it great. With self control, she made herself calm. "Patience, like a worm burrowing through wood." She consoled herself. "Soon, revenge will be mine."
This chapter was written for all those who think Usagi and Mamoru should end up together, and that Haruka should have beaten up Mamoru, and it ties quite nicely in with my storyline. They are not together, but he finally go the chance to talk to her. Well that's it for this chapter! What do you think? Should I continue? Please read and review and let me know what you think! Lyrics from Colin Raye's "Couldn't last a moment" and Elton John's "Written in the Stars" are used here. Should Ami desert Rei and go to Usagi and beg forgiveness? Should Seiya suddenly appear in Canada? Should Mamoru follow Usagi? Please let me know what you think!!!
Mata ne!
Usagi sat in a meditative state, trying to separate herself from her body. She had slowed her breathing and reached inside herself, visualizing the link between her and Mamoru. Shining reddish-gold, she found it, so close to her heart, a part of herself she had taken for granted. The cord was strong and thick, stretching from her into infinity, stretching to the one she couldn't allow herself to love anymore. 'He put a knife through my dreams, through my heart, and I'm back where I started again.' She thought to herself. 'Never thought it would end.' She reached for the link and grasped it firmly in her hands, prepared to break it.
"I have finally found you," an angry voice said behind her. "Now Usagi you are goddamn well going to listen to me."
Usagi cracked her eyes, sighing at the lost moment and the loss of silence. A bird let out a squawk and took wing, flying rapidly away. A small tear in her eye, she watched it leave. 'One day I'll fly away, leave all this to yesterday. Why live life from dream to dream?' she thought before turning to Mamoru. "What the hell do you want?" she snapped, picturing Rei on top of him, and turning her head in disgust.
Mamoru knelt beside her on the grassy hill. "Usako please listen to me. I'm sorry. Rei cast a lust charm on me to make me desire her." He began.
Usagi shook her head. "It doesn't matter Mamoru. I know of her lust charms, and they have to have feelings on both sides for it to work. She may have cast the lust charm on you, but if the feelings weren't there in you on some level, then it would never have worked."
"That may be true Usako, but you have to believe me, I never wanted to hurt you." Mamoru explained. "That's why I never once took her to my bed."
"No you took her outside where all an-sundry could see you." Usagi replied acidly. "You made fun of me, you mocked me, and you told her I wouldn't give you an adult relationship that you needed. You never once asked me Mamoru, hell you never even brought up the subject!" she spat. "I never took mind reading 101!"
"You could have used the link." Mamoru said softly. "I depend on that link Usako. That link is my lifeline because in the past, and the future, and now, it leads me to you. You are my salvation. So I had a little interlude with Rei. It meant nothing."
"I don't use the link like you do Mamoru." Usagi said angrily. "I don't depend on it to tell me what my boyfriend is thinking and feeling. I do it the old fashioned way, with love and caring, and reading body language."
"You know I'm not good with things like this Usako. Until you I felt little to nothing. Women were just an outlet like any other." Mamoru shrugged. "I'm a man, so I'm excused."
Usagi stood. "Being a man doesn't mean you can't try to understand. When I wanted to find you, I went out and looked, I never even thought of this damn link! I never once tried to read your mind with it, except when you evil. The only time I tried to use the link to find you, Galaxia had killed you and I was empty inside. There was so much hurt in me, and all I could think was what you had told me before you left. You said, and I quote: "I'll be gone for a year or more. Is that ok?" You never gave me a chance to say yes or no, you had already decided. You told me: "I'll be too busy to write or call you." I told you fine, I'd write you and wait for you and keep loving you. You gave me a ring, and then said: "I have to leave." You never said anything else. Yes, you finally, FINALLY told me you loved me, but you didn't ask me to wait for you. I don't think you truly cared if I had or not."
Mamoru also stood. "Of course I cared Usako! You are my life!"
"I am not." Usagi snarled. "If I was, maybe you would have cared. Maybe you wouldn't have dreamt of Setsuna, screwed Rei and taken the side of Chibi Usa over mine. You couldn't even answer who you loved more Mamoru!"
"How can a man choose between his daughter and his love?" Mamoru protested.
"A daughter that doesn't exist Mamoru!" Usagi exploded. "She's not even born yet! And there is nothing, NOTHING you can do to convince me that if we got back together, you wouldn't be doing it to assure the birth of Chibi Usa. Without trust there can be no love, and I can't trust you."
Mamoru's eyes had darkened to a stormy dark blue. "Can you ignore all we had?"
Usagi let out a short, pain filled laugh. "In the end Mamoru, we had nothing. We had dates that took place in the park, and were always interrupted either by youma or Chibi Usa. Some dates. Yes, we had that brief interlude in your apartment before Chibi Usa and I switched bodies, but that's it. We have done nothing, and we have nothing. I once had a rock star Mamoru, Seiya, the one who's name you've forbidden me to mention. He told me he loved me. He begged to know why he wasn't good enough. He told me it was ok he was in a one sided love, because he loved me anyway and not to worry about it. He took me on the best date of my life, he held me when I cried, he protected me when I was home alone. His first thought was always of me, and while I was afraid of it, I was flattered by it. You never treated me so gently, so caringly. He let me open up to him in a way no one ever has before, with the exception of Haruka."
"You throw your dalliance with Seiya in my face?" Mamoru roared. "What about what you did with Motoki?"
Usagi shook her head. "Baka! Motoki looks at me as a younger sister, like Unazuki. I look at him as an older brother. He tutored me, he helped me. He was so excited for me. We did nothing. Oh wait!" Usagi said, snapping her fingers. "He hugged me and kissed me on the cheek! My god! I'm a fallen woman!" Usagi turned her head from Mamoru. "I let another man hug me!" she turned back to Mamoru, her eyes hard. "You *ucked another woman." She snapped.
Mamoru ran his hands through my hair. "I'm screwing this up." He muttered.
"What are you trying to do?" Usagi asked, pain in her voice. "Hurt me more?"
Mamoru shook his head. "I thought it was over Usako, I thought I could move on. I woke up last night calling your name, and feeling the blame. Thought I could quit you but, I still miss your love, what was I thinking? Thinking I could still walk down the street, without you by my side, or make it through one night, alone? I lied. I said a lot of things, I didn't really mean, how can I make you see what matters most to me? Usako I should've known it, I couldn't last a moment without you."
"The words come too late." Usagi whispered, hardening her heart. "And actions speak louder than words. Your actions are the opposite of everything you've just said."
"You've got every right to turn and walk away. I can't make you stay." Mamoru said, trying reverse psychology. "I broke your heart, that's the bottom line, I wasted so much precious time. I see you with the Outers, wearing a smile again, what was I thinking?"
"Yes I do have the right to leave. And I am." Usagi whirled and began to descend the small hill.
Mamoru, unable…unwilling? To let her go, reached out and caught her arm. Without a word her drew her to him and lowered his lips to her mouth, groaning as he tasted her sweet lips. He drank in her taste as a dying man in the desert, and tightened his grip on her, aware that she was no longer struggling against his grip. Through the link he felt her desire for him, and he used it to the fullest. Gently lowering her to the ground, never breaking the kiss, his tongue nudged her lips apart and he invaded her mouth. She tasted so sweet, and her smell invaded his nostrils. Her lingering scent of perfume that permeated his apartment and haunted his memory. Chibi Usa might amuse him, but Usagi aroused him. Rei might give in to him, but had she ever made him feel happy and angry and confused and sad all at once? Rei agreed blindly with him, Usagi challenged him. She was not the little girl she had been. He felt her begin to respond to his kiss as all rational thought went out the window, and all his control began to vanish. He slowly kneaded one of her perfect breasts, running his hand under her shirt and listening to her cry of startlement as he touched her in a way he never had before. Tearing himself away from her lips, he gently kissed her neck before lowering his lips to one of her bra-encased breasts.
Usagi closed her eyes as the world fell away at alarming speed. She had heard, but had never known feelings like this were possible. She had never known it was possible to ache and need. She had never known of the fire inside. She felt his hands glide up her thighs, coming to her secret place, a place that up until now was only for her. His hands unfastened her shorts and slid inside and she let out another guttural cry. She couldn't speak, and found words would have only ruined the moment. When one finger probed her entrance, she thought she would die for pleasure of it.
Usagi was prepared to throw her promises out the window, her vow to never take him back, her hurt at his betrayal. Betrayal. That word made her freeze, her blood running cold. She looked down at Mamoru, feasting on her breasts, pleasuring her body, and saw him doing it to Rei. Oh he was a clever one! Using things he had never done to her to make her listen to him. She once again saw Rei straddled on his lap, heard his pleasured moans and Rei moved on top of him. "Stop." She said in a small voice, then louder. "No! Stop!" she shoved him away, and rapidly pulled down her shirt and redid her shorts.
Mamoru looked up at her, her words penetrating the passion induced fog. "Usako, you can't tell me you weren't enjoying that. Your moans spoke volumes."
Usagi stood, wrapping her arms around herself to stop her trembling. "I knew you had other women Mamoru. I could have overlooked them by the refusal to be jealous of a memory. But I SAW you and Rei together and I can't get that image out of my head. I can't have you touch me!" she cried out. "Don't come near me again Mamoru! This betrayal of a sacred trust cannot be forgiven!"
Mamoru grabbed her wrist. "Tell me how to make this up to you." He demanded. "Selenity…"
Usagi gasped, her fact turning white. "I am NOT Selenity. I am not your lover from the past, nor your wife from the future! I am Tsukino Usagi! I am me! I love you for who you are, but you just proved you love me only for who I was and who I will be! You MIGHT have been able to earn my forgiveness for what you had done, and I was on the verge of doing so, but to call me Selenity…" she trailed off, hurt coursing through the link and driving him back a step.
"Usako…I do love you, and I love you as Selenity." He tried to explain.
"You're just like all the others!" Usagi screamed suddenly. "You don't know me or want to know me. You claim to love me, but how can you when you don't know who I am?" wrenching her wrist free, she ran down the hill and out of sight, leaving Mamoru to stare after her, dumbstruck.
Mamoru walked towards his apartment, determination rising again. "Every time I try to make up to her, I end up sticking my foot in it." He said aloud.
"Pity for you." A cold and angry voice said in his ear. "I warned you Chiba. I warned you about staying away from her. Now, you have hurt her worse. She came to Michiru, crying as though her soul was being torn out. I don't know how, since you ripped it out a few days ago."
Mamoru turned to see the icy blue eyes of Haruka, who was seething with rage, surrounded by the glow of her aura of Uranus. "Haruka, it's not what you think." He began.
"Trying to make love to a pure innocent on a hilltop?" Haruka could barely form words, she was so livid. "That's something you do with a tramp like Rei, not a princess like Usagi."
Mamoru winced. "She told you?" he asked in a quiet voice. "Dammit."
Haruka nodded. "She told us everything." She said in a lethal voice. "I've warned you several times Chiba. Now the warnings are done. You have hurt her again. You've hurt her enough." Without another word, Haruka used the heel of her palm to strike Mamoru's nose. His eyes watered and he bent over, giving Haruka the opening she had been waiting for. She brought her knee up to his midsection, grabbing the scruff of his neck and tossing him on the ground, in a parody of what Usagi had done to Rei the other day. "The Princess gave me good fighting tips." She smiled.
"Haruka, try to listen to reason…" Mamoru ground out, getting up, blood coursing from his nose.
"I will listen to nothing when it comes to my Princess. I like her and love her not for who she was or will be, but for who she is…Usagi, a girl who cannot be on time to save her life, a girl who cannot cook. A girl who would and has willingly given up her life for others, even those she doesn't know, not out of duty or a sense of who she was, but because that's who she is. Can you say as much?" Haruka sneered.
Mamoru raised his head and Haruka punched him quickly in the eye. Spinning, she kicked him in the midsection, and then again in the groin. With Mamoru in a small ball on the ground, she punched his floating rib, smiling when she heard it break. Hauling him to his feet, she brought his head to hers and smashed her forehead against his head. She slapped him across the face, convinced she had loosened some of his teeth. Mamoru tried to get up, to fight back, but Haruka was driven by a rage she hadn't felt in years. She swept his legs out from underneath him and grabbed one of his wrists, twisting it in an unnatural position. "So the great Tuxedo Kamen can't even fight back?" she snarled as she heard him yell out in pain. Wrapping her hands around his throat, she slowly began to strangle him, fully intent on ending his life.
"Haruka stop it right now!"
Haruka instantly froze and stood, turning to face Usagi who stood with a note clutched in her hand. "Usagi."
Usagi glanced down at Mamoru, tears staining her face. "You couldn't even deny her accusations could you Mamoru?" she asked softly. She wrapped her arms around him and looked at Haruka. "Help me get him to his apartment. It's the least we can do."
Haruka grunted acknowledgement. "We could just leave him here…?"
"I will not leave anyone lying in the street! Not even him." Usagi explained. "Not even Rei."
"You are too nice." Haruka said, frowning. "Did you get your passport done?"
Usagi shook her head. "The paperwork is being processed, but nothing can be done today. I sent an email to the school asking them to move the departure date up. I hope they answer tomorrow. I want to get out of here, and away from him."
Haruka pushed the elevator button. "I agree. I think this is the best thing for you."
Usagi nodded. She didn't say anything until they arrived at his door. She pulled out her key and smiled at Haruka. "I'll be right back 'Ruka. Please wait here."
"Of course." Haruka nodded. "Don't be too long."
Usagi drug Mamoru to his couch and lay him on it as best she could. Seeing he was unconscious, she lay a small kiss on his cheek and lips. "Thank you Mamoru for letting me feel loved once in your life. No matter where I go or what I do Mamoru, you will always be part of me and I will always love you." She laid her note on his chest and ran out one last time, laying her key on his table by the door. Haruka glanced up, concerned. "Come on Haruka. We have a new life to plan."
Mamoru awoke in a haze of pain. He glanced around, seeing him on his couch in his apartment. The scent of Usagi's perfume was still fresh in the air. He transformed into Tuxedo Kamen and then back to Mamoru, thanking the Goddess for those mysterious healing powers. He saw a note on his chest, written in Usagi's small hand and he opened it, his heart soaring until he read the words, and his heart sank.
**I am writing this to tell you, we can never meet again. Simple really, isn't it? A world or two and then, a lifetime of not knowing, where or how or why or when. You think of me or speak of me and wonder what befell someone you once loved, so long ago, so well. Never wondered what I feel as living shuffles by. You don't have to ask me, and I need not reply. Every moment of my life, from now until I die, I will think or dream of you and fail to understand how a perfect love can be confined and out of hand. Is it written in the stars? Are we paying for some crime? Is that all that we are good for? Just a stretch of model time? Is this goddess's experiment in which we have no say?
Nothing can be altered and there is nothing to decide. No escape or change of heart or anyplace to hide. You are all I'll ever want and this I can't deny, sometimes in my darkest nights I'll wish I never learned what it is to be in love and have that love returned. Good as I was to you, is this the thanks I get? Are all the years we shared so easy to forget? Is she your dream come true? Did you think it through? She sure looks good but she won't ever be good as I was to you.
Goodbye Mamoru. Do not follow me or try to contact me. Today was a mistake, but a memory I will cherish. I've moved on with my life and I suggest you do the same. I am going to find out who Tsukino Usagi is, and if it means a life without you then so be it, but in truth, even when you were in my life, you weren't fully there.
Know that for this moment, I love you, though I may never speak those words again.
Usagi (or Usako to you, but only for this last time).
Tears coursed down his face as he came to the end of the letter. He felt a wrenching in his chest and had a glimpse of something reddish-gold seeping out of him. Through the link he reached for Usagi and encountered a void. A blankness he had never felt before and cold ran through his body. She had broken the link. He could not feel her, sense her. He could not find her. His wail was that of a man who had had his soul torn out. In a rapid decision he grabbed a pen and paper and began making a list. He would follow her to Canada. He would learn what she wanted him to. He realized in that one moment of cold shock that it wasn't Selenity or Neo-Queen Selenity that had made him feel fulfilled and loved. It was Usagi. It was the purity and love of Usagi and her innate goodness, and he, blind fool that he was never realized it, and now it was gone. He thought of all she had ever told and in a moment of clarity, he knew what Haruka knew, saw what she saw. "I have to get her back." He vowed.
"Good luck." A regal voice said.
He looked up, scrubbing tears away, and saw Queen Serenity. "Your Majesty."
"You moron." The gentle Queen Serenity snapped. "You deserve everything she's doing to you."
"I love her Serenity. Usagi. Not just Selenity." He explained. "Until this moment I never realized it." He sighed. "And I will never get her back."
Queen Serenity regarded him coldly. "I have come to point something out to you Endymion, and listen well for I do not like doing this to the man who has hurt her so badly. She has said from the beginning you "may never" make this up to her, and that it'll be "almost impossible" to get her back."
"Then there is a chance!" his face lit up.
"Be warned Endymion that my patience is at an end with you. I told her how to break your link. I encouraged it. She is not a toy to be used, and you have infuriated me beyond all reason. If I hadn't witnessed just now how much you do love her, I would not be here, and you would be missing vital male organs. I am most displeased you tried to make love to my daughter on a hilltop!" Queen Serenity held up a hand. "She will make you grovel and weep for her. She wants you to suffer and hurt just as much as she has, and I agree with her, as do her remaining senshi. I am sickened and disgusted by you for falling for a charm of Rei's. She was correct earlier, when she said that there had to be feeling on your end for the charm to work." Queen Serenity shook her head. "Do not follow her Endymion. Set her free. She is at a difficult time, nearing her seventeenth birthday. She is afraid and needs time, not be Sailor Moon, Selenity or your girlfriend. If you follow her, it will be the worst thing you can do."
"I appreciate your candour your Majesty," Endymion began. "But I will follow her to the ends of the earth to get her to listen to me."
Queen Serenity let out an exasperated sigh. "I cannot tell you what to do Endymion, but listen well. I am shocked and appalled at how you treat her. You sided with a daughter you may never have over her. I don't need to tell you that you are a fool, many people take care of that for me. But perhaps you want to check on Chibi Usa right now. Since Usagi has no intention of coming back to you, she's vanishing for periods at a time. Usagi is changing the timeline, and right now the future has no Chibi Usa in it. I am not upset by the loss of a granddaughter, as I never liked that child to begin with."
"I don't care about Chibi Usa anymore." Endymion lied.
"Don't lie to me Endymion." Serenity's eyes went ice cold. "Or I will blast you from here to hell." She warned. "Uranus did a good job of beating you, and I wish I were alive enough to add a few blows myself."
"Why are you here?" he snarled.
"Rei and Makoto are planning on killing Usagi. You must stop them. If you love my daughter, then keep her alive. Haruka will just kill them outright, as will Usagi, though it will break her dear heart. Try to talk sense into them Endymion." Serenity advised.
"I will your Majesty." Endymion bowed. "Thank you."
"Think of this as your only chance Endymion." Serenity snapped. "And leave my daughter alone. You've hurt her enough. What is there in her heart but pain from you?"
Rei's eyes narrowed as she saw Usagi pause outside a window and smile at the inside. "I'm coming for you Usagi." She breathed, as her hands wrung together, visualizing her throat. "You will pay princess, and you will not escape. The Senshi can't help you now. This is personal."
She drew back into the shadows as Usagi passed near, the urge to reach out and be done with it great. With self control, she made herself calm. "Patience, like a worm burrowing through wood." She consoled herself. "Soon, revenge will be mine."
This chapter was written for all those who think Usagi and Mamoru should end up together, and that Haruka should have beaten up Mamoru, and it ties quite nicely in with my storyline. They are not together, but he finally go the chance to talk to her. Well that's it for this chapter! What do you think? Should I continue? Please read and review and let me know what you think! Lyrics from Colin Raye's "Couldn't last a moment" and Elton John's "Written in the Stars" are used here. Should Ami desert Rei and go to Usagi and beg forgiveness? Should Seiya suddenly appear in Canada? Should Mamoru follow Usagi? Please let me know what you think!!!
Mata ne!