Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Everything You Want -Book One- Everything You Want ❯ Didn't We Almost Have It All (2025) ( Chapter 19 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

*Remember when we held on in the rain
*The night we almost lost it
*Once again we can take the night into tomorrow
*Living on feelings
*Touching you I feel it all again

Haruka entered the palace, the eerily quiet halls ringing with the
sound of her footfalls. Outside the rain fell softly, the bleak skies
reflecting the emotions of all those within these walls. Haruka made
her way to the royal quarters, her heart pounding with the
anticipation of seeing the Queen. They had not spoken in the months
since Michiru left.

She stood before the large doors, her hand poised to knock. What would
Usagi have to say to her? What would she say to Usagi? Where was the
King and what would he think if he saw Haruka leaving the Queen's
quarters? Haruka did not want to make the situation between the
monarchs any worse. Still, her hand fell in three firm raps on the
door.

Moments passed, Haruka shifted from one foot to the other. Faintly she
heard steps in the suite, soft and muted by the thick carpet within.
Slowly the door opened, revealing a very pale and thinning Usagi. Her
blue eyes were huge and dark, with bags hanging low below her eyes.
Haruka had been told by Naru, Usagi's personal maidservant, that the
Queen rarely ate and slept only a few fitful hours a day. So much pain
from their love...

"Usagi."

The door opened further and Usagi motioned for Haruka to enter. Inside
the room was like ice, chilled and white, with Usagi wearing only her
night slip. Haruka cleared her throat as she sat on one of the many
chairs in the room.

"Koneko, you worry all those within the palace. You do not eat, you
rarely sleep, and you will not speak to anyone. You need to come out
of this... this... place you have retreated to. There is a world, a
universe, that needs its Queen."

Usagi blinked once, slowly. It was as if she was in a daze. She took a
deep breath and looked at her hands. "I just don't seem to have the
energy to get out of bed. Haruka-san, I feel as if it just is not
worth it anymore. I spent the past two decades being a Queen, a mother
and a wife. Now... I am a grandmother, a betrayer and yet, still, a
Queen." She looked up at Haruka with fierceness in her eyes. "I feel
tainted, unworthy now. I betrayed my husband, my destiny!" Tears fell
heavy down her cheeks.

Haruka looked away toward the large balcony overlooking the city, the
tears shining in her eyes. This woman, one of only two women she had
ever loved, hurt so, and hurt because of her. Not to mention Michiru,
wherever she had run to. She had loved them both and now had lost them
both, as well as ruined their lives in the process. Haruka looked back
to the sobbing woman and reached out her hand to touch Usagi's cheek.

"Usagi, there is no other woman in this universe more worthy, more
capable of being the Queen. Please, do not pine away. Endymion and you
will work through this, your love is eternal."

Usagi's head snapped up. "Eternal?! If it had been eternal I would not
have slept with you... twice! Haruka..." Usagi just shook her head and
stood up, turning her back to the green-eyed Senshi. "Do not touch me.
No matter what I want to tell myself, I want you as much as I did when
I was young." A deep sigh fell from her lips. "I do not know what it
means except for pain and suffering. I love you, and I love you enough
to tell you to leave and not see me like this again. Somehow I must
salvage my marriage. I love Endymion and our children so much... I
must, and will, find a way." She turned to Haruka. "And you should do
the same. Michiru and you have a fine daughter, you also now have
granddaughters." Usagi then smiled. "Twins seem to run in the family."

Haruka stood up and approached Usagi, smiling softly. "Yes. Children,
grandchildren, love and life. We share so much, Usagi. Please, do not
hate me."

Usagi giggled, almost herself again. "Hate you? Haruka, I could no
more hate you than hate the sun. You both shine so bright and give me
such warmth."

In the dim light of the afternoon the two women stood, smiling, a
weight lifted from their chests. So many years of hiding their sins,
and now they were free from them. They just needed to repair the
damage those sins caused.

*The way you used to touch me felt so fine
*We kept our hearts together down the line
*A moment in the soul can lastforever
*Comfort and keep us
*Help me bring the feeling back again

Haruka closed the door to Usagi's chambers and just let her headrest
against the cool wood. She turned to leave the hall and came face to
face with Endymion. His eyes were so dark, anger clouding them. He
stood against the opposite wall with his arms crossed. He looked like
hell. Haruka clenched her fists and took a breath.

"Your Majesty."

He just sneered at her. "What? You couldn't keep your hands off her? I
had wondered how long you two would wait before you started your
affair back up. Rather quick though, wasn't it?" He pushed off from
the wall and approached the Wind Senshi.

"Endymion-sama, you have no idea what you are talking about. I came
here to look in on Usagi and ask her if she was eating and sleeping. I
found she was not and sought to aid her how I could. I did not have
any 'affair' with her on this -- or any other -- day. She needed a
friend, and since her best friend moved out of their rooms, I offered
my ear."

"I bet. Haruka-san, why not just be honest with me? Have you not done
enough lying? There is no point in trying to hide the trail anymore.
You took my wife, stole my son, and destroyed my life."

Haruka blinked. "Your wife is sitting in her rooms pining away for
you, wanting you to return to her side. I most certainly did not take
her away from you. Your son was, and ever is, your son. He knows you;
he is named for you. I was not consulted in his life; I was never
asked if I wanted this or that for him. You were. You are his father.
As for your life, you have destroyed that well enough on your own. You
abandoned your wife, cut off your son, and locked yourself away."

Endymion suddenly pulled back and struck at Haruka, anger masking his
face. Haruka easily dodged the blow. Fury erupted in her as much as it
had in the King and she hit back, Endymion sidestepping the punch as
easily as Haruka had. They traded punches for several minutes, neither
connecting, both dodging expertly. The years they had spent sparring
with each other, of being training companions, prevented them from
hitting one another.

Frustration ate at them both, causing Endymion to yell out and run
toward Haruka. Haruka was able to spin out and bring her elbow
smashing down on his spine as he ran passed. He cried out and fell to
the floor. Both of them were breathing hard, the months of self-hate
culminating. Endymion stood again and glared at the blonde and struck
out again. Haruka backed up, ducking the punch, only to be surprised
by his other hand striking her across the face. The force of the blow
sent her sprawling to the floor. Lying on her side, propped up on her
hands, Haruka saw blood drip from her now split lip and land on the
hem of a white dress. The blood spread sickly red, staining the
hemline.

Haruka looked up to see Usagi standing there, staring down at the
fallen soldier. Her shimmering eyes looked up at her husband. "What...
is going... on?" she whispered, the horror in her eyes causing
Endymion to cast his eyes down. "Why are you two doing this to me?!"
she cried out. She pivoted on her heel and ran back into her haven and
slammed the door, locking both loves of her life out.

Haruka pulled herself to her feet, swiping at her mouth. Swallowing
the bitter taste of blood, Haruka brought her eyes level to the
King's. "I loved her, Endymion. More than you can ever know. I would
never want her to hurt as she hurts now. But, everything that has
happened, all that has occurred... it was worth it, it was all worth
the fall." Endymion was not sure if Haruka was speaking about Usagi or
about Michiru. He supposed it was a mixture of both women.

"Now... I am going to go get my wife back. I am going to convince her
that I love her more than life itself, whatever life I have without
her. I suggest you do the same."

Haruka combed her hair back with her hand, took a breath and
straightened her clothes. She walked past the King, her head held
high. She would find her love; she would make it all work. Was it all
worth it? Was two nights with Usagi worth losing her dignity? Was a
son worth the loss of her only true love?

Hell, yeah.

*Didn't we have the best of times
*When love was young and new?
*Couldn't we reach inside and find
*The world of me and you?
*We'll never lose it again
*Cause once you know what love is
*You never let it end

He stood in the aftermath of the fight, silence closing in on him. He
was a broken man. His jaw smarted where Haruka had landed her blow.
How had things come to this? How had his world been turned upside
down? He sighed and looked at the solid white doors that separated him
from his wife. He had missed her. So much. He had realized that he was
just trying to punish Usa for his own infractions. He realized that he
had to have withheld something from her for Usa to turn to Haruka.
He also knew that he and Michiru had to have given them some kind of
fear of them. If the two of them had felt safe with their loves, if
they had trusted them to love them no matter what, they would have
come to them and told them the truth. But something had been missing.
Endymion had to admit that he had not been the most devoted or caring
husband. He had tried to be, but even ChibiUsa's conception had been
tainted by his selfishness.

He had treated her ill as a teenager, worse as her husband, and then
ignored her once she had given birth. He shook his head. No wonder she
had turned to someone else, someone who had probably made her feel
needed and wanted. He knew Haruka to be a passionate woman, someone
who felt so much. Of course Usagi would be drawn to that, a moth to a
flame. After all, when your spouse is too busy playing King, a wedding
band is just a ring on your finger, nothing more.

He needed to make it up to her as much as she needed to make it up to
him. In the thirty odd years they had known each other, Endymion
realized he knew very little of his wife. He knew her general likes
and dislikes, but he did not know her. This woman...

Endymion slowly walked up to the door, the door he had never knocked
on before. Such liberties he had taken. He was nervous. What if it was
all too late? Was there a chance? Their love was supposed to be
eternal. It had survived so much, could it survive this? He had to
try. His hand moved up, fist clenched, and rapped on the door. Almost
immediately the door opened, revealing huge blue eyes and tear stained
cheeks.

His eyes met hers.

She opened the door and let him in.

*Didn't we almost have it all
*When love was all we had worth giving?
*The ride with you was worth the fall my friend
*Loving you makes life worth living
*Didn't we almost have it all
*The nights we held on till the morning
*You know you'll never love that way again
*Didn't we almost have it all

They spoke for hours in hushed voices. Soft afternoon warmth gave way
to cool twilight. Hurts had begun to heal; words and tears had been
shared. Endymion had not realized how wonderful it felt to just be
held in her arms as he wept, trying to show and tell her how much he
loved her, how he needed her.

She wiped his tears. Kissed his lips. Led him to their bed.

And in the soft light of night, she found her love, found her
completeness in her husband. He found his reason for living, and they
connected in a way that brought them to the edge of insanity over and
over. Naked lovers in the moonlight, holding tight to each other until
morning broke.

Finally, they had it all.