Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Flesh and Blood ❯ Flesh and Blood ( Chapter 1 )

[ A - All Readers ]

By: Krysia

Flesh and Blood

By Krysia

Setting: After Stars—Pre-Crystal Tokyo

Disclaimer: Borrowing Sailor Moon and the song, Flesh and Blood by Wilson Phillips.

Hino Rei paused from sweeping the sakura blossoms from the steps of the shrine. As she leaned forward slightly on her broom, a slight smile graced her lips.

Yesterday had been perfect. After all the hardships the senshi had endured, time had come to a full circle. Vows were exchanged, promises were made and all present witnessed the utter joy that filled Usagi and Mamoru. Usagi had matured and was showing herself to be the princess that she was. Mamoru, of course, was the truly devoted prince. All evening neither strayed too far from each other. They, of all people, knew the importance of loving fully and completely and showed each other at every opportunity, Rei thought with a pang. She shook herself from where her thoughts began to lead her and resumed to her task. Since her grandfather's passing, the burden of running the shrine fell upon her shoulders. She still had Yuuichiro to help, thank goodness.

Finishing her task, she pushed her raven locks away from her face and headed into the shrine. Rei passed by her bedroom and noticed that she had left the door ajar. Her dress from yesterday was hanging up—left out so she could still admire it. Entering the room, she walked over and fingered the soft fabric. Setsuna had done a wonderful job. Although the dresses were similar, each was altered slightly, complementing the personalities of each senshi. Rei let the dress slip from her fingers and watched as the fabric swished and swayed, coming to a rest in its former position.

~~~~~~~~

If you never plan to come out of your shell…

You're never gonna get well..

~~~~~~~~

On a side table, a small card caught her gaze. As she reached over to examine it, she recognized the white floral pattern. It was the RSVP card from Usagi's wedding invitations. She stared at the polite words penned on the card. “Please accept my regrets...” Violet eyes clouded slightly and a trembling hand replaced the card upon the table in its previous position.

Yuuichiro had encouraged her to invite her father. Weddings were a time for families. When she had confided to the girls that she was considering asking her father, Usagi had placed a comforting arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. She had told her to invite her father; that it was important to know that he had a daughter who loved him and that he needed to put the politics aside for one night. A self-depreciating smile had appeared as she shoved Usagi away, denying any feelings for THAT man. Rei's self-righteous attitude was eliminated with the commencement of a pillow fight instigated by Minako. Now was the time to be silly and young and not to rationalize the motives of a man driven by personal demons.

~~~~~~~~~

I understand your reasons not to…

~~~~~~~~~

Rei walked over to her desk and pulled out a faded picture. It was her mother and father on their wedding day. They were dressed in traditional Western wedding attire, very similar to what Usagi and Mamoru had worn the day before.

In the picture, the couple gazed at each other with expressions of love and devotion, not unlike Mamoru and Usagi. If it weren't for the physical resemblance to her father, she would have never believed that they were the same man. Rei knew that Hino Ryoji had loved his wife. Even after all these years, it must be difficult to see couples starting out on the same path he did, in love and full of hopes, plans and dreams for the future. How can one enjoy witnessing the promises of a beautiful future, when his own was shattered so tragically?

~~~~~~~~~

But you don't know is what you are afraid of

And I'm afraid of it too

But can I even talk to you again?

~~~~~~~~~

Rei gently traced the edge of the antique silver frame before returning it to her desk. The man in the picture was not the one that she knew. Her father was a political force to be reckoned with. He was a man of power and prestige. He was one that people looked to for direction in the ways that the government dictated their daily lives. Rei had heard the rumors, that Hino Ryoji loved his wife so fully and completely that politics were as close to a substitute that he could muster. Certainly Rei was unaware of any love interest her father may have had in the years following her mother's death. And a man as notable as her father, someone would surely have noticed and commented.

Rei was no stranger herself to keeping people at a distance. In fact, many people had thought she was odd and mysterious until she met Usagi. Her face softened slightly as she thought of her dear friend. Usagi had come into her life like a whirlwind, practically upsetting the harmony and balance that Rei thought she had in her life. Through Usagi, she had developed a relationship with the rest of the senshi before she had even realized it. After moving to the shrine with her grandfather, losing both her mother and father in the process, Rei had vowed to keep to herself as much as possible. Through her senshi responsibilities, Rei now understood that people's lives were irrevocably intertwined with one another. Though Usagi's shining example, she learned that love was the most powerful force bestowed upon individuals, and to deny love and expressions of love was the same as placing a candle on a hilltop on a windy day. The flame may shine briefly, but by being isolated, any benefits from the candle are quickly lost.

~~~~~~~~~

Oh part of me wants to call you up

And talk to you like a friend

~~~~~~~~~

Her phone receiver sat in its cradle. It silently mocked her from its position on her desk. Rei stretched her hand out and it hovered for a moment before drawing it away quickly. She pulled her desk chair out and slid gracefully into place. She placed her elbows on the desktop and placed her chin in her linked hands. Morosely she aimed her gaze at the phone. Why was it so hard to call? If he wanted to talk to her, he knew the number…or at least his secretary did. The phone line traveled in both directions; it shouldn't be up to her to make the effort.

The raven-haired girl sighed. None of the senshi had a set of parents like Usagi. Granted, the girl couldn't tell her parents about Sailor Moon, but at least she had parents who loved her and who she could share her everyday life with. She looked at the phone again. There was nothing stopping her from picking up the phone and calling him, just to talk.

~~~~~~~~~

And there's a part of me that wants to shut you out

And never see your face again

~~~~~~~~~

Furious with herself and him, she stood up quickly and slammed her chair into place. Damn him. Just thinking about him reminded her how she just wasn't good enough to be his daughter. Not good enough to try to spend time with. Instead, he shipped her off to a relative that he wasn't even on good terms. Fortunately, it worked out wonderfully for her. Her grandfather was an amazing man and she had learned so much from him. She was so grateful for the many years she spent with him at the shine, but still…

~~~~~~~~

How can we be like enemies when we're only flesh and blood?

~~~~~~~~

Why couldn't she and her father get along? As a child she was not the rambunctious type that you couldn't take out in public. Granted, she was still mischievous and curious, but certainly that was no reason to abandon your offspring. Was she so horrible when she was younger that her father couldn't stand being around her and ostracizing her mother in the process?

She knew it couldn't possibly be her temper. She felt her face get warm at the thought of how quickly she could be provoked. She had read one time how a violent temper could be a sign of repressed emotions or in some cases, fueled by a subconscious desire to push away those who have the ability to trigger those unwanted emotions, such as fear, sadness, vulnerability and love.

At the time, it had taken all her self-restraint not to throw that book into the sacred fire. As she calmed down, she realized that it hit a little too close to home. How many times did she lose her temper and fry a youma because her princess and dearest friend was in danger? She winced as she thought about the many times she berated her grandfather for his behavior due to her fear of losing him too or blown up at her friends for prying into her personal life as she tried closing off messy emotions that she'd rather not deal with.

Unfortunately her infamous temper reared its ugly head whenever she and her father met in the latter years. The few times that she did spend time with him; it usually resulted in her voicing her opinions in a belligerent manner, whereas he maintained an icy demeanor. She was fire and he was ice. There was no way they could be father and daughter. She was nothing like him, which is probably why they couldn't ever get along.

~~~~~~~

What does it take to make your heart bleed, daddy aren't we enough?

You can get through there's nothing stopping you from getting to us

~~~~~~~

Rei winced remembering the first time she faced her father in defiance. After dinner, one of the few times Hino Ryoji graced them with his presence, Rei pushed herself away from the table and approached her father. Her mother smiled in encouragement as the dark-haired child offered a paper with slightly crumpled edges. A gold foil star glittered in the dim light that was placed at the top.

“What's this?”

“It's my paper from school. I got all the answers right and I was the first one done too. Okuda-sensei said that I should be proud of my work.”

Hino Kioko met her husband's gaze. “I think this deserves a celebration. Rei-chan's first perfect paper.”

Hino Ryoji absently handed the paper back to his daughter without comment. A slight frown graced his features as he raised his wrist to glance at his watch. “I'm expecting an important phone call shortly. Besides, Rei-chan should learn to try hard because she wants good marks, not because of any rewards or bribes we might offer.”

Rei didn't quite understand the words her father uttered, but his meaning was clear. Angry tears welled in her eyes and she crumpled up the paper that just a moment ago was so important.

“I hate you otou-san. You don't ever want to do stuff with momma and me.” She flung the paper on the floor; turned and ran out of the room, wiping away the tears that were now streaming down her face.

~~~~~~~

No one can take away the fact that we're only…flesh and blood

~~~~~~~

Rei shook her hair from her face and continued to straighten up her room. The spartan design left little for her to do, but for some reason she was stuck in this melancholy mood and had no desire to face the public that would be visiting the shrine today. She realized with a pang that she was shirking her duties, but allowed herself some self-indulgence. It was not often that she put herself first, after all…if she only thought of work and her responsibilities that would mean she was no better than her father. And there was no way she resembled him in any shape or form.

~~~~~~~

For years I've been following your case,

It's the only time I see your face

And we've learned to live without you.

~~~~~~~

Five-year-old Rei hugged her mother, heedless of the wrinkles that she was probably creating. She felt her mother place her hand on her head and begin to stroke her hair. Tears brimmed in her eyes and she clutched the woman whose lap she was sitting on even tighter. She had been trying to console her mother and squash the overwhelming disappointment she felt. Her father had just called to say he would be working late in the office and unable to have their special evening together. It was not the first time the two Hino girls found themselves in this position.

The raven-haired girl heard her mother sigh. “Come Rei-chan. Let's get out of these clothes and put on something more comfortable. It's girl's night tonight.” Rei knew what that meant. Girl's night was where she and her mother ate dinner alone and played games, watched TV or read stories, then after she was tucked into bed, her mother would go to her own room and cry herself to sleep.

Rei knew her father had an important job. Her mother was always pointing him out on the TV during the news and sometimes clipping articles out of the newspaper to place in a scrapbook for her. There were pictures in her scrapbook too. She and her mom at the zoo, her first day of school and other milestones that were captured during Rei's early years.

The miko blinked and abruptly closed the scrapbook that she was holding, trying to shut away the memories and emotions of that little girl in the pictures. Her heart ached with longing for her mother. She could always pretend that her father wasn't in the photos because he was the one behind the camera, but that wasn't the truth. He wasn't in them because he devoted his time to his political career instead of his family. She ran her hand across the worn cover of the book. This was her reminder that she wasn't the only one who stood on the sidelines. Her mother had been there too, for a while at least. Now she stood on the sidelines alone and unsure of the man she was supposed to be rooting for.

Rei stood up and returned her scrapbook to the trunk on the far side of the room. Her father hadn't been a part of her life for a long time now; there was no reason to pine for affection and attention from him; Usagi and the rest of the senshi were her family now and that was enough, wasn't it?

~~~~~~~

Who you don't know who it is you're afraid of

And we're afraid of you too

But will we ever talk to you again?

~~~~~~~

Rei ran her hand along the closed lid of the trunk. The outside was worn and showing age. The exterior was faded and scarred by constant use. This had belonged to her mother and several other generations of women in her family. She stood and turned and sat on the trunk. The craftsmanship was of fine quality and Rei felt comforted sitting on the sturdy family heirloom. All that she had was from her mother's family. From her father she received his family name and a few expensive trinkets. It was almost as if her were afraid to give her something that was personal…a part of himself.

One of her birthdays she spent up in the mountains to train. This was during the time when they were battling the Deathbusters. It was easy to forget that day and relegating it as unimportant. It was better for her to focus on discovering the enemy, protecting her princess and the planet. If it also kept her away from her father and the opportunity of being hurt by him again, well…that was a bonus. The many times that she suffered in battle were nothing compared to the hurt that she felt every time she was sent a token card or gift. He couldn't even be bothered to take time to spend with her one day a year.

Rei went up into the mountains that day, alone. She hadn't told her friends her birthday, but somehow they knew. They followed her and spent the day with her. They showered her with gifts and attention. They would not let her shut them out. They were true friends and showed her the love that they had for her. Even though she ran from them, they reeled her in…making her face the reality of love and its importance. Surrounded by her princess and fellow senshi, she was able to put past hurts aside for the moment and appreciate who she was and that she was loved for that very reason.

~~~~~~~

I want to make you laugh

And I want a chance to know you better.

I want to hear you sing beside me now.

Like you used to…

~~~~~~~

The miko shook herself from her thoughts and exited the room. She stood at the entrance of the shrine and reveled in the peaceful atmosphere that abounded. The faint scent of sakura blossoms tickled her nose and she felt herself relax slightly. She watched from the distance as a family strolled across the grounds, young child sandwiched between her parents, walking hand in hand. The father leaned down to hear something the child was saying then stood tall and tossed his head back to let out a shout of laughter. Mother and daughter giggled along with him as they moved out of sight.

She looked in the direction they traveled wistfully. She wondered if she had some similar experiences with her own family that she just couldn't remember. She thought of the wedding picture that she had looked at earlier this morning. She wished that she could have known the man her mother fell in love with. The man smiling next to his bride. The man who was supposed to be her father.

~~~~~~~~

I'm a part of you, and I miss you.

A song for you, for only you.

~~~~~~~~~~

As she walked back into the shrine, she hummed softly to herself. The tune was reminiscent of her nightly bedtime ritual when she was a small child. She would sing this song with her mother as she was tucked in. As she sang a few words, a strong feeling of nostalgia washed over her. She felt as if she could hear her mother singing with her softly. She stopped as she crossed the threshold. A thought tickled in the back of her mind. She remembered hearing another voice blending in harmony with her mother's. She clenched her eyes tightly closed trying to hang on to the memory, but as quickly as it had come, it was gone. She shook her head slightly as she forced herself forward. She did not imagine that she remembered hearing her father singing to her too.

She took one last look over her shoulder, but her view of the outside was obscured. That family was long since gone, off doing whatever young families do together when they wish to spend time with one another. She sighed. Not today, but maybe another day she could work up the courage to call her father.

Author's notes: I was inspired to write this story while having the privilege of beta reading Spirit of Fire by Heavenly Pearl. This song by Wilson Phillips is a personal favorite of mine because of my own tumultuous relationship with my father. By listening to the words, I was able to see the similarities between Rei and myself. Now if I only looked that good in a fuku, the color red and could shoot fire from my fingertips…all would be golden!

Happy Birthday Yume-chan!!