Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Four Seasons ❯ Chapter 1
[ A - All Readers ]
By: Minako-chan 
365 days, a year, four seasons...whichever way you put it, Usagi has been drifting around lifelessly while Mamoru is doing very much the same thing. What is keeping our favorite couple apart?
Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 09.23.2001 | Pages: 9 | Words: 5.1K | Visits: 570 | Status: Completed
365 days, a year, four seasons...whichever way you put it, Usagi has been drifting around lifelessly while Mamoru is doing very much the same thing. What is keeping our favorite couple apart?
Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 09.23.2001 | Pages: 9 | Words: 5.1K | Visits: 570 | Status: Completed
Four Seasons
By Minako-chan
cupid_teacup@hotmail.com
------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------
Author's Notes: Hello everyone! I know I haven't been writing much,
heck, I haven't written AT ALL, but here's a little something something
that was inspired by a song called "You'll Always Come To Mind" from
the soundtrack of a Japanese drama called "Hitotsu No Shita" (Under
the Same Roof). The complete lyrics is at the bottom of the story.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I in no way own Sailor Moon (I do, however, own Mamo-chan,
but that's arguable to many) nor the songs "You'll Always Come To Mind",
sung by Rosa Puss(the Japanese version of the song is sung by the group
Le Couple) and "Where We Belong" sung by Wayne Hernandez. Music by
Toshifumi Hinata.
---------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------
"It has been a year," Motoki chattered away a short while after he
took a seat across from his best friend, the dark and handsome Chiba
Mamoru - the perfect embodiment of sophistication and mysteriousness.
Mamoru ran a hand through his ebony hair, and watched passersby on
the other side of the window, never once paying heed to what the blonde
sitting across from him was saying.
"One year..." The thought rang through his mind, like a bell continuing
to echo inside his head. One year today, he thought.
Mamoru set his coffee mug down firmly and clasped his long fingers around
it. He exhaled softly and looked up at the ceiling. His normally handsome
features were contorted, and anyone, whether they knew Mamoru or not, could
tell by a short glance that he was living in misery. He closed his eyes
and exhaled again, then opened them to focus on Motoki.
"...why did you?"
Mamoru caught only the last of what Motoki was saying. He blinked twice
and licked his chapped lips, his expression blank.
Motoki shook his head and sighed softly, but not out of frustration. He
reached out and his hands tore Mamoru's away from the coffee mug. That
was when Mamoru realized how much his own hands were trembling, and how
cold they were, compared to Motoki's.
"I asked - why did you break up with Usagi? I know I've asked you many
times before, but you never gave me an answer. What went wrong?"
*I found this letter today, it was signed "I love you"
Brought me to a time, when your love was mine
Seems we just couldn't get enough
It was good the whole year through
Spring, Summer, Winter, and Fall
Mamoru averted his eyes from Motoki's and focused on a waiter who was
laughing with a customer.
"Mamoru - one year. One year of misery. For what reason? Is it
worth so much pain?"
*Remembering the time, when our worlds were one
The time, when we had so much fun
Mamoru turned his head back to stare out the window. He could see her
face among the crowds. He could see his beloved Odango running down
the streets at high speeds, with her cute uniform lifting enough to show
her creamy skin on her stomach, her short skirt flapping against her long
legs, her school bag swinging high. She would stumble when she reached
the corner, and she would bow to whomever she happened to bump into.
But even though he could see her face, she wasn't there anymore. She had
moved a year ago to attend a different school. Her parents thought it
best for her to take initiative and were proud she wanted a change and
be away from distractions so she could focus on her studies. Little did
they know that she just wanted a change. A change where Mamoru would
never be a part of her life again. He knew because that was what she told
him when she phoned him the night she left at the airport. By the time he
reached the terminal, there was no one around. Her friends refused to speak
to him, and it had been a year since the four girls even looked in his
direction.
"Look at you, Mamoru-kun. Sure, you're well dressed. You're wearing
tailored suits, your hair is always perfect, you go to a school that no
normal people could possibily enter...you always appear composed.
Is that how you feel inside?"
*You'll always have a place in my heart
Always be endings and beginnings
I never knew such a feeling could exist
Won't you come back and let me feel life again?
The automatic doors beside their booth opened and highheeled footsteps
slowed as they reached them.
"'Toki-chan, are you ready?" A feminine voice spoke. The two men looked
up to see Reika, Motoki's fiancee. She looked at Mamoru and nodded,
smiling briefly to be polite.
"Ohayo." Mamoru said, watching as Reika reached out a hand which Motoki
instinctively held and stood up.
"Think about what I said, Mamoru, and give me a definite answer. You will
have to give an answer sooner or later. And I'd rather hear it sooner,
because..." Motoki leaned in closer, but Reika elbowed him in the stomach
before he could continue.
"Because...?" Mamoru uttered.
"Come on, 'Toki-chan. We're late." Reika pulled Motoki up to stand and
dragged him out of the cafe as if she was an impatient child not wanting
to miss an exciting trip.
Mamoru watched as the couple headed outside, pausing briefly in front of
the entrance for a kiss as a greeting. Mamoru knew it was a ritual the
two shared; he also knew that was what he enjoyed, too, with his Usako.
His eyes watered at the thought. She had not left him enough time to explain,
that he did all that - the breakup - for her safety. He left her because
he loved her too, too much. He loved her too much to have to bear with the
thought that she would come to harm if he stayed with her. So, obeying
the phantom in his dreams, he chose to leave. And for a whole year, his
sleep was dreamless, but restless. He walked around for 365 days, looking
very much like everyone else, but his soul had drifted away somewhere. He
knew that when Usagi left on the plane, she had taken his heart with her.
*And whenever I see trees shedding their leaves in the fall
You'll always come to my mind
And whenever I see children making angels in snow
You'll always come to my mind
His attention went back to the couple standing outside. As they walked
pass the window where Mamoru sat, Motoki looked back at him and mouthed
the rest of the speech he was not quite able to finish.
"Because," Motoki mouthed, "Usagi-chan is back." Mamoru's eyes widened
as he registered the newfound information. The last he saw before he
decided to dash out of the cafe was Motoki's smiling face.
Usagi is back, Mamoru thought excitedly.
No, -Usako- is back.
------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------------
He ran through the streets with the wind blowing in his back. He smiled,
thinking that somehow, even the winds were encouraging him. Without
even thinking, he knew where his legs were carrying him.
When he reached the destination, he leaned forward and panted, trying
to recompose himself, to catch his breath at least.
He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and lifted a white knuckle to
the door which was painted light pink, his Usako's favorite color.
*I miss you more than words can say, where did we go wrong?
Give me a second chance, to hold you in my arms again
I'll love you better this time, and I'll never let you go
Spring, Summer, Winter, and Fall
Laughter roared on the other side of the door, and tears streamed down
his cheeks before he knew it. A year of misery fell in droplets down his
chiseled face. He leaned his forehead on the door and let his fist
uncurl, his palm sliding down the door along with the rest of his body.
He didn't know how long he sat in front of Usagi's house, listening to
silence, then laughter, then silence again, and occasionally, joyous
crying, at what he assumed, for Usagi's return.
His heart screamed for him to knock on the door, so he could once again
see the face he loved ever so much, but the other side of his heart
told him, warned him, not to. He realized how selfish he was to think
he could knock on the door, see her face, and satisfy himself while
bringing back so much pain and horrible memories to his beloved. How
unfair was he to expect her to come into his open arms willingly after
a year apart? The thought of bringing more tears to her lively ocean
blue eyes caused him to shudder. The realization of what a selfish,
heartless man he was brought him to his feet. He glanced at the window
of her room, seeing it slightly open, and her light blue bunny curtains
flapping when the cool breeze blew. He could see her silouette moving
about; when he saw it approach the window, he walked away down the
darkened streets, illuminated dimly by the yellow streetlights, his
head down, and his hands stuffed in his pockets.
*Remembering the time, when you needed me
The time, I loved you endlessly
Usagi leaned out to close the window when the night air became too chilly
for her. She was pulling the curtains together when she saw a figure
strolling away from her direction. Rubbing her eyes, she thought it
was only her imagination that Mamoru would be coming to see her. Why
would he after he stated so clearly a year ago that he didn't love her
anymore? Her eyes welled up with tears and she sat by the window,
watching the figure, whoever it was, walk away from her, like a year
ago when she watched her Mamo-chan do the very same thing. It seemed
she had been chasing and chasing, only to see his back turned to her,
walking out of her life.
She walked to her night table and opened the drawer, pulling out an
envelope with an American stamp. She had written him a long letter
during her stay at her new school, but she never had the courage to
send it. She left no return address, though she doubted he would
actually go to America to find her. She'd rather keep it as a memory
of her love for the dear man who used to love her the way she loved
him. The way she still loved him.
She opened up the letter to the last page. In shaky calligraphy, her
emotions at the time of writing it were evident - the pen dug into the
page, making dents on the back of the page. The ink ran from her tears
on the last sentences before she signed her name:
"Aishiteru, Mamo-chan. I don't know what went wrong, but whatever it
is, know in your heart that wherever you may be, whenever you feel
alone, one person in this world loves you unconditionally, even though
you may not return her love. That person is me. If by chance you change
your mind, come back to me. Aishiteru, Mamo-chan. Always and forever."
"One year today..." She whispered, staring at the letter in awe of her
own powerful words of love. "I wonder what you're doing now, Mamo-chan...
are you thinking of me?"
When she returned to Tokyo, she seemed like a new person. She appeared
so much happier, but she could never fool her friends. Her four senshi
friends - Rei, Makoto, Ami, and Minako - had tried to cheer her up in
numerous ways. Usagi smiled fondly at the thought of her best friends.
Nobody but the four of them knew that during the one year she was away,
nothing had changed. Everything everywhere reminded her of Mamo-chan.
Buildings screamed his name, and everyone she met reminded her of him.
**earlier that day**
"Come on, cheer up, Usagi-chan!" The voice of Rei chirped inside her
head. "You'll look back and laugh. You'll tell your children and your
grandchildren what a jerk your first boyfriend was!"
"That's right, Usagi-chan. Who needs guys anyway?" This coming from
the boy-crazy Makoto, who happened to be eyeing a new waiter the moment
she spoke those words.
"I'll never have children." Usagi whispered, not meaning for it to come
out loud for the girls to hear.
"Nani?" They exclaimed in unison.
"If they can't be Mamo-chan's...I'll never marry. I'll never be with
another man." The determination shone in Usagi's eyes. Her voice had
dropped and it trembled like her body. It was certainly heartwrenching.
Usagi smiled sadly. She must have looked pathetic enough, because Minako,
the Goddess of Love, broke out in tears and ran into the bathroom. At
the same time, the sky seemed to feel Usagi's pain and wept.
*end flashback*
Usagi carefully folded up the letter and placed it back into its envelope.
"Usagi-chan! Let's go out for dinner!" Her father's voice called from
the floor below, and frantically, Usagi wiped her wet cheeks with the
back of her hand, and stuck the letter into the pocket of her shirt.
----------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------
Ironically, the restaurant the Tsukino family went to was the restaurant
Mamoru often brought Usagi to for their dates. Usagi took a deep breath,
knowing that she would have to try her hardest not to let her emotions
surface, and took a seat beside her mother.
She gasped when she took a look at the place. Nothing seemed to have
changed in the year she had been gone. She glanced at the table by the
window where she knew she could see the ocean. For a brief moment,
she saw Mamo-chan holding a champagne glass in his hand, raising it to
his lips, his eyes never leaving her face.
*And whenever I see rainbows forming after the storm
You'll always come to my mind
And whenever I hear children singing their favorite songs
You'll always come to my mind
"Hellooooo, earth to Usagi!" Shingo, her little brother, waved his
hand in front of her face while holding a dish out to her, offering to
place some food onto her plate for her. This brought her out of her
trance. Usagi blinked and in one swift moment, her hands flew up in
surprise and knocked the plate down, its contents spilling over her
new outfit.
She stood up abruptly, and looked down at herself in disgust. Her
eyes once again welled up, and she took in sharp breaths. Many
people were staring at her now, some in disapproval as the restaurant
was one of high class. She looked at many faces that were watching
her, and all of them resembled her Mamo-chan's.
"USAGI!" Her mother cried out when Usagi, without a word, grabbed her
jacket and purse and ran out of the restaurant.
Her parents exchanged worried glances, and Shingo stared at his own
plate, feeling guilty. The rest of the meal, they ate in silence.
They knew when their daughter and sister needed to be alone, and at
that instant, without a doubt, this family member needed time to
heal by herself, from whatever it was that got her so choked up.
When it was time to leave, Kenji, the father of the Tsukinos, wrapped
a protective arm around his wife, who furrowed her brows and bent down
to pick up an envelope that lay on the floor beside Usagi's seat.
"What is it, honey?" Kenji asked as he put on her coat for her.
The loving mother's eyes widened when she saw who the letter was
addressed to, in her baby girl's writing; she also noticed the American
stamp. With a knowing look on her face, she wiped some sauce off the
envelope and tucked the letter into her own pocket.
"It's nothing dear. It's nothing." She replied. Shingo trudged behind
his parents, deep in thought, trying to figure out a way to cheer up
his sister, even though he did not know the cause. Surely, spilling
food in a public place was not the cause of such commotion, Shingo
smiled to himself, he was quite certain Usagi was used to doing that
in public.
---------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------
The bell above the arcade entrance doors jingled and immediately, the
noise drowned out all composed thoughts the woman had in her head.
"No wonder Usagi-chan loves this place!" She smiled as she watched
children and teenagers played video games, ate ice cream, and chatted
happily with one another.
Motoki paused and the towel in his hand dropped onto the counter. His
lips parted, and he tilted his head and peered at the familiar face
that was looking straight in his direction. The woman straightened her
coat and walked slowly to the counter and seated herself on a stool
in front of Motoki.
"How are you, ma'am?" Motoki asked politely while picking up his towel
again to wipe the counter.
"My, my. You don't recognize me, Motoki? It's only been a year or so
since you showed up at my house for a party." Mrs. Tsukino winked
at the young man.
Motoki tilted his head again and could see the same mischievous glint
in the woman's eyes as Usagi's. He grinned and rubbed the back of
his neck sheepishly.
"Sorry, Mrs. Tsukino. It's been a while, I guess." He smiled. In a nearby
booth, a young man with black hair looked up at the woman seated in front
of his best friend. "How about a chocolate fudge sundae on the house? That
is, -if- your taste in food is the same as your daughter's."
"That's alright, Motoki." Mrs. Tsukino stopped Motoki with her hand when
he was about to go to one of the machines to make her treat. "I'm here
for a reason."
Motoki looked around and glanced at Mamoru, who was watching him with
interest.
"Anything, Mrs. Tsukino." Motoki became serious and he pulled up his own
stool and sat in front of her.
Mamoru watched as the woman pulled an envelope from her purse and showed it
to Motoki.
"Would you happen to know this name, Motoki?" She handed the envelope to
the startled blonde.
"Mamoru-kun..." Motoki's voice trembled. "This...this is Usagi's writing."
Mrs. Tsukino nodded. "Hai, it is my baby girl's. As you can see, she wrote
this letter while she was still in America. Why she didn't send it, I
wouldn't know. But I have a feeling it's important that the supposed
recipient gets it." Her voice lowered and she swallowed a lump in her throat.
Tears formed in the corners of her eyes.
"What's the matter, Mrs. Tsukino? Did something happen to Usagi-chan?"
Immediately, concern was written on Motoki's features.
The woman wiped a tear that escaped from her eyes. "Hai. She's lucky to
have friends like you and the girls...When she came back to Tokyo yesterday,
I was so sure she is happy again. When she left for America, she was
devastated. I never questioned her why, I was just sad that she felt that
she couldn't come to me. But when she came back yesterday...I thought...I
thought all that has changed. I thought she's my happy little girl again.
But last night when we went to the restaurant to celebrate her homecoming,
she...she was so choked up...she ran out of the restaurant."
Motoki handed her a napkin to dry her tears as she continued.
"When we left the restaurant afterwards, I found this letter on the floor.
It must have fallen out of her pocket. I didn't dare to read it, but I was
hoping this person...Chiba Mamoru...could tell me what happened to my
baby."
A long shadow cast over Mrs. Tsukino, and she wiped her eyes and looked up
to see a handsome young man standing next to her.
"Mrs. Tsukino, meet Chiba Mamoru. Mamoru, this is Usagi's mother." Motoki
introduced the two, and walked away, leaving them to sort things out for
someone that all three of them loved dearly, though Mamoru failed to ever
admit it.
"You are Chiba Mamoru?" Mrs. Tsukino tried to stop her chin from quivering,
but another sob escaped her throat.
"Hai." Mamoru sat on the stool next to her.
"This," she looked down at the envelope on the counter, "is for you."
Mamoru reached out, his heart aching when he saw the familiar writing and
bunny figures on the stationary. He looked from the envelope to the woman,
who looked at him with hopeful eyes, and looked back at the envelope.
"Please, read it...maybe you can tell me what's happening in my daughter's
life. She's right here but she seems so far away now. I am her mother and
it just breaks my heart."
The phantom of his dreams called out to him to turn away - to give back
the unopened letter and hand it back politely to the woman. If he opened
it, there was no turning back. Usako would come to harm.
It was a mistake to look into the older woman's eyes. They were exactly
like Usako's, except they had a bit of wiseness and knowingness that came
with life's experiences. Mamoru swallowed and opened the envelope. The
woman waited patiently while trying to calm herself, dabbing her eyes and
cheeks with the napkins that Motoki offered her. She watched the young
man carefully, and her own heart ached as she saw how hard he was trying
to suppress his emotions, very much the way her own daughter did the night
she left for America a year ago.
*Winter or Spring, Summer or Fall
You'll always come to my mind
After what seemed like hours, Mamoru folded up the letter again, and placed
a shaking hand over his heart, and clutched at his shirt tightly, his fist
tightening, whitening his knuckle. His breath was short, and he once again
looked at the older woman before him. The two remained speechless.
Mamoru watched her, an older version of his Usako. He couldn't help but
tremble when the woman reached out and touched his arm in a motherly
manner. He knew where Usako's loving character came from. How many lives
had the mother and daughter touched unknowingly?
"You love her." Mrs. Tsukino whispered. Mamoru closed his eyes, letting
a few tears escape, as he nodded slowly and almost painfully as he ignored
the cries of the phantom of his dreams.
She placed the envelope in his hands and closed his fingers over it. "How
much longer can you two live like this? It's been four seasons far too long."
Mamoru looked at her once more and this time, he saw his Usako's pleading
eyes willing him to return.
" 'If by chance you change your mind, come back to me. Aishiteru, Mamo-chan.
Always and forever.' " Her voice called out to him in his heart.
"Return to her, Mamoru." Mrs. Tsukino spoke after watching him in silence
for prolonged minutes. "She's by the lake."
Nodding, Mamoru did not bother to dry his tears before he bent down and
kissed her cheek, and ran out of the arcade with the letter in his hand.
Motoki stepped out from the other side of the counter and handed her his
promised sundae.
"Thought this might cheer you up." He winked when Mrs. Tsukino smiled
gently, "It always works with Usagi-chan."
----------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------
"Come back to me..." Usagi called out to him as Mamoru ran through the
streets as quickly as he could so he could close the distance between
them once more.
Mamoru reached the lake shortly after and looked around frantically for
a blonde angel. He gasped when he saw a figure far, far away from him,
standing on the dock, twirling by herself, streams of golden hair flying
around her, encircling her in an enchanting manner. He watched as she
danced by herself, but he knew she was pretending there was someone there,
because she held her arms out as if wrapping them around someone's shoulders.
He walked slowly toward her, his eyes never leaving her form, his tears
falling silently.
Usagi spun until she became dizzy. Her eyes opened and she saw the world
spin around her. The sky was blue and so was the ocean. It was almost
difficult to tell which was which, and she was glad the dock was reminding
her she was still on her feet. Her barefeet carried her to the edge, and
she took a deep breath and tried to steady herself so she could go back
home to her family. They had been so worried about her the night before,
and she had selfishly refused to give any explanations.
Dancing had become a part of her now. She remembered dancing with Mamoru
at the restaurant she was at the previous night, and she had taken a
liking to waltz. If she could say so herself, she thought she had gotten
very good at it, thanks to the courses she took in America in her spare
time. However, no matter how many dancing partners she had switched,
there was no one who was as perfect as her Mamo-chan...how she fit
perfectly in his arms when he decided to hold her close, and no one could
match her footsteps instinctively. With him, it was like floating in the
water. It was natural.
Her tears caused ripples in the water, and she backed away from the edge
of the dock. She knew that if her thoughts carried her further, the
lake would welcome her. Usagi knew how precious life was, after saving
so many on her nightly battles. How ironic would it be if the other
senshi found out that the champion of love and justice, the savior of
Tokyo, decided to take her own life away after repeatedly making speeches
about how important it was to take life seriously?
But how long would this pain stay with her? Would the aching be there
forever? Would she ever be happy again?
She continued to step away until she was sure she would not throw herself
into the water even though the exhausted side of her wished for some
peace. She covered her face with her hands, and wiped away the stray tears
that had once again fallen down her already tear-stained cheeks. That was
when she felt something.
She felt him.
Usagi turned slowly around and tucked a few loose strands of hair behind
her ear. The movement alone sucked Mamoru's breath away, as he watched
her from where he stood, a good twenty feet away from her. He froze in
his tracks and continued to stare.
She studied his face, and her heart pounded with hope. His hair flew
around his beautiful face, and she could see his tears glimmering from
the sunlight.
Mamoru held the letter up. From far away, Usagi could tell what it was.
Her eyes grew wide from recognition and she inhaled sharply. How did he
possibily get the letter that was never sent?
They stood apart for what seemed like an eternity. Neither moved nor spoke.
Finally, Mamoru could take the silence no longer.
"Aishiteru, Usako." He called out, and let the breeze carry his confession
to her. " 'It's been four seasons far too long.' "
Usagi stared at her beloved and her expression was one of surprise and joy.
She dared not pinch herself, in case it was just a dream she was having,
and a beautiful dream it was, at that.
"Come back to me, Usako...come back to me."
Hesitantly, she smiled at him. And he smiled back.
*Summer has past, and Winter's gone too
The good times and bad, we made it through
Alone without hope, we carried on
With love taking us, where we belong
------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------
~Fin~
------ --------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------
"You'll Always Come To My Mind"
Lyrics by Rosa Puss; Music by Toshifumi Hinata
I found this letter today, it was signed "I love you"
Brought me to a time, when your love was mine
Seems we just couldn't get enough
It was good the whole year through
Spring, Summer, Winter and Fall
Remembering the time, when our worlds were one
The time, when we had so much fun
You'll always have a place in my heart
Always be endings and beginnings
I never knew such a feeling could exist
Won't you come back and let me feel life again
And whenever I see trees shedding their leaves in the fall
You'll always come to my mind
And whenever I see children making angels in snow
You'll always come to my mind
I miss you more than words can say, where did we go wrong?
Give me a second chance, to hold you in my arms again
I'll love you better this time, and I'll never let you go
Spring, Summer, Winter and Fall
Remembering the time, when you needed me
The time I loved you endlessly
You'll always have a place in my heart
Always be endings and beginnings
I never knew such a feeling could exist
Won't you come back and let me feel life again
And wnever I see rainbows forming after the storm
You'll always come to my mind
And whenever I hear children singing their favorite songs
You'll always come to my mind
Winter or Spring, Summer or Fall
You'll always come to my mind
And whenever I see rainbows forming after the storm
You'll always come to my mind
Winter or Spring, SUmmer or Fall
You'll always come to my mind
------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
"Where We Belong"
Lyrics by Wayne Hernandez; Music by Toshifumi Hinata
Summer has past, and Winter's gone too
The good times and bad, we made it through
Alone without hope, we carried on
With love taking us, where we belong
There were times, I didn't think we'd last
But in my mind, to live was all I ask
Summer has past, and Winter's gone too
The good times and bad, we made it through
Alone without hope, we carried on
With love taking us, where we belong
I could not imagine, living without the pain
But like the changing seasons
It had to go away
And now we shine as the sun
Summer has past, and Winter's gone too
The good times and bad, we made it through
Alone without hope, we carried on
With love taking us, where we belong
When the day's cold and lonely, and nights are so long
We'll be where we belong
----------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------
< br>
By Minako-chan
cupid_teacup@hotmail.com
------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------
Author's Notes: Hello everyone! I know I haven't been writing much,
heck, I haven't written AT ALL, but here's a little something something
that was inspired by a song called "You'll Always Come To Mind" from
the soundtrack of a Japanese drama called "Hitotsu No Shita" (Under
the Same Roof). The complete lyrics is at the bottom of the story.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I in no way own Sailor Moon (I do, however, own Mamo-chan,
but that's arguable to many) nor the songs "You'll Always Come To Mind",
sung by Rosa Puss(the Japanese version of the song is sung by the group
Le Couple) and "Where We Belong" sung by Wayne Hernandez. Music by
Toshifumi Hinata.
---------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------
"It has been a year," Motoki chattered away a short while after he
took a seat across from his best friend, the dark and handsome Chiba
Mamoru - the perfect embodiment of sophistication and mysteriousness.
Mamoru ran a hand through his ebony hair, and watched passersby on
the other side of the window, never once paying heed to what the blonde
sitting across from him was saying.
"One year..." The thought rang through his mind, like a bell continuing
to echo inside his head. One year today, he thought.
Mamoru set his coffee mug down firmly and clasped his long fingers around
it. He exhaled softly and looked up at the ceiling. His normally handsome
features were contorted, and anyone, whether they knew Mamoru or not, could
tell by a short glance that he was living in misery. He closed his eyes
and exhaled again, then opened them to focus on Motoki.
"...why did you?"
Mamoru caught only the last of what Motoki was saying. He blinked twice
and licked his chapped lips, his expression blank.
Motoki shook his head and sighed softly, but not out of frustration. He
reached out and his hands tore Mamoru's away from the coffee mug. That
was when Mamoru realized how much his own hands were trembling, and how
cold they were, compared to Motoki's.
"I asked - why did you break up with Usagi? I know I've asked you many
times before, but you never gave me an answer. What went wrong?"
*I found this letter today, it was signed "I love you"
Brought me to a time, when your love was mine
Seems we just couldn't get enough
It was good the whole year through
Spring, Summer, Winter, and Fall
Mamoru averted his eyes from Motoki's and focused on a waiter who was
laughing with a customer.
"Mamoru - one year. One year of misery. For what reason? Is it
worth so much pain?"
*Remembering the time, when our worlds were one
The time, when we had so much fun
Mamoru turned his head back to stare out the window. He could see her
face among the crowds. He could see his beloved Odango running down
the streets at high speeds, with her cute uniform lifting enough to show
her creamy skin on her stomach, her short skirt flapping against her long
legs, her school bag swinging high. She would stumble when she reached
the corner, and she would bow to whomever she happened to bump into.
But even though he could see her face, she wasn't there anymore. She had
moved a year ago to attend a different school. Her parents thought it
best for her to take initiative and were proud she wanted a change and
be away from distractions so she could focus on her studies. Little did
they know that she just wanted a change. A change where Mamoru would
never be a part of her life again. He knew because that was what she told
him when she phoned him the night she left at the airport. By the time he
reached the terminal, there was no one around. Her friends refused to speak
to him, and it had been a year since the four girls even looked in his
direction.
"Look at you, Mamoru-kun. Sure, you're well dressed. You're wearing
tailored suits, your hair is always perfect, you go to a school that no
normal people could possibily enter...you always appear composed.
Is that how you feel inside?"
*You'll always have a place in my heart
Always be endings and beginnings
I never knew such a feeling could exist
Won't you come back and let me feel life again?
The automatic doors beside their booth opened and highheeled footsteps
slowed as they reached them.
"'Toki-chan, are you ready?" A feminine voice spoke. The two men looked
up to see Reika, Motoki's fiancee. She looked at Mamoru and nodded,
smiling briefly to be polite.
"Ohayo." Mamoru said, watching as Reika reached out a hand which Motoki
instinctively held and stood up.
"Think about what I said, Mamoru, and give me a definite answer. You will
have to give an answer sooner or later. And I'd rather hear it sooner,
because..." Motoki leaned in closer, but Reika elbowed him in the stomach
before he could continue.
"Because...?" Mamoru uttered.
"Come on, 'Toki-chan. We're late." Reika pulled Motoki up to stand and
dragged him out of the cafe as if she was an impatient child not wanting
to miss an exciting trip.
Mamoru watched as the couple headed outside, pausing briefly in front of
the entrance for a kiss as a greeting. Mamoru knew it was a ritual the
two shared; he also knew that was what he enjoyed, too, with his Usako.
His eyes watered at the thought. She had not left him enough time to explain,
that he did all that - the breakup - for her safety. He left her because
he loved her too, too much. He loved her too much to have to bear with the
thought that she would come to harm if he stayed with her. So, obeying
the phantom in his dreams, he chose to leave. And for a whole year, his
sleep was dreamless, but restless. He walked around for 365 days, looking
very much like everyone else, but his soul had drifted away somewhere. He
knew that when Usagi left on the plane, she had taken his heart with her.
*And whenever I see trees shedding their leaves in the fall
You'll always come to my mind
And whenever I see children making angels in snow
You'll always come to my mind
His attention went back to the couple standing outside. As they walked
pass the window where Mamoru sat, Motoki looked back at him and mouthed
the rest of the speech he was not quite able to finish.
"Because," Motoki mouthed, "Usagi-chan is back." Mamoru's eyes widened
as he registered the newfound information. The last he saw before he
decided to dash out of the cafe was Motoki's smiling face.
Usagi is back, Mamoru thought excitedly.
No, -Usako- is back.
------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------------
He ran through the streets with the wind blowing in his back. He smiled,
thinking that somehow, even the winds were encouraging him. Without
even thinking, he knew where his legs were carrying him.
When he reached the destination, he leaned forward and panted, trying
to recompose himself, to catch his breath at least.
He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and lifted a white knuckle to
the door which was painted light pink, his Usako's favorite color.
*I miss you more than words can say, where did we go wrong?
Give me a second chance, to hold you in my arms again
I'll love you better this time, and I'll never let you go
Spring, Summer, Winter, and Fall
Laughter roared on the other side of the door, and tears streamed down
his cheeks before he knew it. A year of misery fell in droplets down his
chiseled face. He leaned his forehead on the door and let his fist
uncurl, his palm sliding down the door along with the rest of his body.
He didn't know how long he sat in front of Usagi's house, listening to
silence, then laughter, then silence again, and occasionally, joyous
crying, at what he assumed, for Usagi's return.
His heart screamed for him to knock on the door, so he could once again
see the face he loved ever so much, but the other side of his heart
told him, warned him, not to. He realized how selfish he was to think
he could knock on the door, see her face, and satisfy himself while
bringing back so much pain and horrible memories to his beloved. How
unfair was he to expect her to come into his open arms willingly after
a year apart? The thought of bringing more tears to her lively ocean
blue eyes caused him to shudder. The realization of what a selfish,
heartless man he was brought him to his feet. He glanced at the window
of her room, seeing it slightly open, and her light blue bunny curtains
flapping when the cool breeze blew. He could see her silouette moving
about; when he saw it approach the window, he walked away down the
darkened streets, illuminated dimly by the yellow streetlights, his
head down, and his hands stuffed in his pockets.
*Remembering the time, when you needed me
The time, I loved you endlessly
Usagi leaned out to close the window when the night air became too chilly
for her. She was pulling the curtains together when she saw a figure
strolling away from her direction. Rubbing her eyes, she thought it
was only her imagination that Mamoru would be coming to see her. Why
would he after he stated so clearly a year ago that he didn't love her
anymore? Her eyes welled up with tears and she sat by the window,
watching the figure, whoever it was, walk away from her, like a year
ago when she watched her Mamo-chan do the very same thing. It seemed
she had been chasing and chasing, only to see his back turned to her,
walking out of her life.
She walked to her night table and opened the drawer, pulling out an
envelope with an American stamp. She had written him a long letter
during her stay at her new school, but she never had the courage to
send it. She left no return address, though she doubted he would
actually go to America to find her. She'd rather keep it as a memory
of her love for the dear man who used to love her the way she loved
him. The way she still loved him.
She opened up the letter to the last page. In shaky calligraphy, her
emotions at the time of writing it were evident - the pen dug into the
page, making dents on the back of the page. The ink ran from her tears
on the last sentences before she signed her name:
"Aishiteru, Mamo-chan. I don't know what went wrong, but whatever it
is, know in your heart that wherever you may be, whenever you feel
alone, one person in this world loves you unconditionally, even though
you may not return her love. That person is me. If by chance you change
your mind, come back to me. Aishiteru, Mamo-chan. Always and forever."
"One year today..." She whispered, staring at the letter in awe of her
own powerful words of love. "I wonder what you're doing now, Mamo-chan...
are you thinking of me?"
When she returned to Tokyo, she seemed like a new person. She appeared
so much happier, but she could never fool her friends. Her four senshi
friends - Rei, Makoto, Ami, and Minako - had tried to cheer her up in
numerous ways. Usagi smiled fondly at the thought of her best friends.
Nobody but the four of them knew that during the one year she was away,
nothing had changed. Everything everywhere reminded her of Mamo-chan.
Buildings screamed his name, and everyone she met reminded her of him.
**earlier that day**
"Come on, cheer up, Usagi-chan!" The voice of Rei chirped inside her
head. "You'll look back and laugh. You'll tell your children and your
grandchildren what a jerk your first boyfriend was!"
"That's right, Usagi-chan. Who needs guys anyway?" This coming from
the boy-crazy Makoto, who happened to be eyeing a new waiter the moment
she spoke those words.
"I'll never have children." Usagi whispered, not meaning for it to come
out loud for the girls to hear.
"Nani?" They exclaimed in unison.
"If they can't be Mamo-chan's...I'll never marry. I'll never be with
another man." The determination shone in Usagi's eyes. Her voice had
dropped and it trembled like her body. It was certainly heartwrenching.
Usagi smiled sadly. She must have looked pathetic enough, because Minako,
the Goddess of Love, broke out in tears and ran into the bathroom. At
the same time, the sky seemed to feel Usagi's pain and wept.
*end flashback*
Usagi carefully folded up the letter and placed it back into its envelope.
"Usagi-chan! Let's go out for dinner!" Her father's voice called from
the floor below, and frantically, Usagi wiped her wet cheeks with the
back of her hand, and stuck the letter into the pocket of her shirt.
----------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------
Ironically, the restaurant the Tsukino family went to was the restaurant
Mamoru often brought Usagi to for their dates. Usagi took a deep breath,
knowing that she would have to try her hardest not to let her emotions
surface, and took a seat beside her mother.
She gasped when she took a look at the place. Nothing seemed to have
changed in the year she had been gone. She glanced at the table by the
window where she knew she could see the ocean. For a brief moment,
she saw Mamo-chan holding a champagne glass in his hand, raising it to
his lips, his eyes never leaving her face.
*And whenever I see rainbows forming after the storm
You'll always come to my mind
And whenever I hear children singing their favorite songs
You'll always come to my mind
"Hellooooo, earth to Usagi!" Shingo, her little brother, waved his
hand in front of her face while holding a dish out to her, offering to
place some food onto her plate for her. This brought her out of her
trance. Usagi blinked and in one swift moment, her hands flew up in
surprise and knocked the plate down, its contents spilling over her
new outfit.
She stood up abruptly, and looked down at herself in disgust. Her
eyes once again welled up, and she took in sharp breaths. Many
people were staring at her now, some in disapproval as the restaurant
was one of high class. She looked at many faces that were watching
her, and all of them resembled her Mamo-chan's.
"USAGI!" Her mother cried out when Usagi, without a word, grabbed her
jacket and purse and ran out of the restaurant.
Her parents exchanged worried glances, and Shingo stared at his own
plate, feeling guilty. The rest of the meal, they ate in silence.
They knew when their daughter and sister needed to be alone, and at
that instant, without a doubt, this family member needed time to
heal by herself, from whatever it was that got her so choked up.
When it was time to leave, Kenji, the father of the Tsukinos, wrapped
a protective arm around his wife, who furrowed her brows and bent down
to pick up an envelope that lay on the floor beside Usagi's seat.
"What is it, honey?" Kenji asked as he put on her coat for her.
The loving mother's eyes widened when she saw who the letter was
addressed to, in her baby girl's writing; she also noticed the American
stamp. With a knowing look on her face, she wiped some sauce off the
envelope and tucked the letter into her own pocket.
"It's nothing dear. It's nothing." She replied. Shingo trudged behind
his parents, deep in thought, trying to figure out a way to cheer up
his sister, even though he did not know the cause. Surely, spilling
food in a public place was not the cause of such commotion, Shingo
smiled to himself, he was quite certain Usagi was used to doing that
in public.
---------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------
The bell above the arcade entrance doors jingled and immediately, the
noise drowned out all composed thoughts the woman had in her head.
"No wonder Usagi-chan loves this place!" She smiled as she watched
children and teenagers played video games, ate ice cream, and chatted
happily with one another.
Motoki paused and the towel in his hand dropped onto the counter. His
lips parted, and he tilted his head and peered at the familiar face
that was looking straight in his direction. The woman straightened her
coat and walked slowly to the counter and seated herself on a stool
in front of Motoki.
"How are you, ma'am?" Motoki asked politely while picking up his towel
again to wipe the counter.
"My, my. You don't recognize me, Motoki? It's only been a year or so
since you showed up at my house for a party." Mrs. Tsukino winked
at the young man.
Motoki tilted his head again and could see the same mischievous glint
in the woman's eyes as Usagi's. He grinned and rubbed the back of
his neck sheepishly.
"Sorry, Mrs. Tsukino. It's been a while, I guess." He smiled. In a nearby
booth, a young man with black hair looked up at the woman seated in front
of his best friend. "How about a chocolate fudge sundae on the house? That
is, -if- your taste in food is the same as your daughter's."
"That's alright, Motoki." Mrs. Tsukino stopped Motoki with her hand when
he was about to go to one of the machines to make her treat. "I'm here
for a reason."
Motoki looked around and glanced at Mamoru, who was watching him with
interest.
"Anything, Mrs. Tsukino." Motoki became serious and he pulled up his own
stool and sat in front of her.
Mamoru watched as the woman pulled an envelope from her purse and showed it
to Motoki.
"Would you happen to know this name, Motoki?" She handed the envelope to
the startled blonde.
"Mamoru-kun..." Motoki's voice trembled. "This...this is Usagi's writing."
Mrs. Tsukino nodded. "Hai, it is my baby girl's. As you can see, she wrote
this letter while she was still in America. Why she didn't send it, I
wouldn't know. But I have a feeling it's important that the supposed
recipient gets it." Her voice lowered and she swallowed a lump in her throat.
Tears formed in the corners of her eyes.
"What's the matter, Mrs. Tsukino? Did something happen to Usagi-chan?"
Immediately, concern was written on Motoki's features.
The woman wiped a tear that escaped from her eyes. "Hai. She's lucky to
have friends like you and the girls...When she came back to Tokyo yesterday,
I was so sure she is happy again. When she left for America, she was
devastated. I never questioned her why, I was just sad that she felt that
she couldn't come to me. But when she came back yesterday...I thought...I
thought all that has changed. I thought she's my happy little girl again.
But last night when we went to the restaurant to celebrate her homecoming,
she...she was so choked up...she ran out of the restaurant."
Motoki handed her a napkin to dry her tears as she continued.
"When we left the restaurant afterwards, I found this letter on the floor.
It must have fallen out of her pocket. I didn't dare to read it, but I was
hoping this person...Chiba Mamoru...could tell me what happened to my
baby."
A long shadow cast over Mrs. Tsukino, and she wiped her eyes and looked up
to see a handsome young man standing next to her.
"Mrs. Tsukino, meet Chiba Mamoru. Mamoru, this is Usagi's mother." Motoki
introduced the two, and walked away, leaving them to sort things out for
someone that all three of them loved dearly, though Mamoru failed to ever
admit it.
"You are Chiba Mamoru?" Mrs. Tsukino tried to stop her chin from quivering,
but another sob escaped her throat.
"Hai." Mamoru sat on the stool next to her.
"This," she looked down at the envelope on the counter, "is for you."
Mamoru reached out, his heart aching when he saw the familiar writing and
bunny figures on the stationary. He looked from the envelope to the woman,
who looked at him with hopeful eyes, and looked back at the envelope.
"Please, read it...maybe you can tell me what's happening in my daughter's
life. She's right here but she seems so far away now. I am her mother and
it just breaks my heart."
The phantom of his dreams called out to him to turn away - to give back
the unopened letter and hand it back politely to the woman. If he opened
it, there was no turning back. Usako would come to harm.
It was a mistake to look into the older woman's eyes. They were exactly
like Usako's, except they had a bit of wiseness and knowingness that came
with life's experiences. Mamoru swallowed and opened the envelope. The
woman waited patiently while trying to calm herself, dabbing her eyes and
cheeks with the napkins that Motoki offered her. She watched the young
man carefully, and her own heart ached as she saw how hard he was trying
to suppress his emotions, very much the way her own daughter did the night
she left for America a year ago.
*Winter or Spring, Summer or Fall
You'll always come to my mind
After what seemed like hours, Mamoru folded up the letter again, and placed
a shaking hand over his heart, and clutched at his shirt tightly, his fist
tightening, whitening his knuckle. His breath was short, and he once again
looked at the older woman before him. The two remained speechless.
Mamoru watched her, an older version of his Usako. He couldn't help but
tremble when the woman reached out and touched his arm in a motherly
manner. He knew where Usako's loving character came from. How many lives
had the mother and daughter touched unknowingly?
"You love her." Mrs. Tsukino whispered. Mamoru closed his eyes, letting
a few tears escape, as he nodded slowly and almost painfully as he ignored
the cries of the phantom of his dreams.
She placed the envelope in his hands and closed his fingers over it. "How
much longer can you two live like this? It's been four seasons far too long."
Mamoru looked at her once more and this time, he saw his Usako's pleading
eyes willing him to return.
" 'If by chance you change your mind, come back to me. Aishiteru, Mamo-chan.
Always and forever.' " Her voice called out to him in his heart.
"Return to her, Mamoru." Mrs. Tsukino spoke after watching him in silence
for prolonged minutes. "She's by the lake."
Nodding, Mamoru did not bother to dry his tears before he bent down and
kissed her cheek, and ran out of the arcade with the letter in his hand.
Motoki stepped out from the other side of the counter and handed her his
promised sundae.
"Thought this might cheer you up." He winked when Mrs. Tsukino smiled
gently, "It always works with Usagi-chan."
----------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------
"Come back to me..." Usagi called out to him as Mamoru ran through the
streets as quickly as he could so he could close the distance between
them once more.
Mamoru reached the lake shortly after and looked around frantically for
a blonde angel. He gasped when he saw a figure far, far away from him,
standing on the dock, twirling by herself, streams of golden hair flying
around her, encircling her in an enchanting manner. He watched as she
danced by herself, but he knew she was pretending there was someone there,
because she held her arms out as if wrapping them around someone's shoulders.
He walked slowly toward her, his eyes never leaving her form, his tears
falling silently.
Usagi spun until she became dizzy. Her eyes opened and she saw the world
spin around her. The sky was blue and so was the ocean. It was almost
difficult to tell which was which, and she was glad the dock was reminding
her she was still on her feet. Her barefeet carried her to the edge, and
she took a deep breath and tried to steady herself so she could go back
home to her family. They had been so worried about her the night before,
and she had selfishly refused to give any explanations.
Dancing had become a part of her now. She remembered dancing with Mamoru
at the restaurant she was at the previous night, and she had taken a
liking to waltz. If she could say so herself, she thought she had gotten
very good at it, thanks to the courses she took in America in her spare
time. However, no matter how many dancing partners she had switched,
there was no one who was as perfect as her Mamo-chan...how she fit
perfectly in his arms when he decided to hold her close, and no one could
match her footsteps instinctively. With him, it was like floating in the
water. It was natural.
Her tears caused ripples in the water, and she backed away from the edge
of the dock. She knew that if her thoughts carried her further, the
lake would welcome her. Usagi knew how precious life was, after saving
so many on her nightly battles. How ironic would it be if the other
senshi found out that the champion of love and justice, the savior of
Tokyo, decided to take her own life away after repeatedly making speeches
about how important it was to take life seriously?
But how long would this pain stay with her? Would the aching be there
forever? Would she ever be happy again?
She continued to step away until she was sure she would not throw herself
into the water even though the exhausted side of her wished for some
peace. She covered her face with her hands, and wiped away the stray tears
that had once again fallen down her already tear-stained cheeks. That was
when she felt something.
She felt him.
Usagi turned slowly around and tucked a few loose strands of hair behind
her ear. The movement alone sucked Mamoru's breath away, as he watched
her from where he stood, a good twenty feet away from her. He froze in
his tracks and continued to stare.
She studied his face, and her heart pounded with hope. His hair flew
around his beautiful face, and she could see his tears glimmering from
the sunlight.
Mamoru held the letter up. From far away, Usagi could tell what it was.
Her eyes grew wide from recognition and she inhaled sharply. How did he
possibily get the letter that was never sent?
They stood apart for what seemed like an eternity. Neither moved nor spoke.
Finally, Mamoru could take the silence no longer.
"Aishiteru, Usako." He called out, and let the breeze carry his confession
to her. " 'It's been four seasons far too long.' "
Usagi stared at her beloved and her expression was one of surprise and joy.
She dared not pinch herself, in case it was just a dream she was having,
and a beautiful dream it was, at that.
"Come back to me, Usako...come back to me."
Hesitantly, she smiled at him. And he smiled back.
*Summer has past, and Winter's gone too
The good times and bad, we made it through
Alone without hope, we carried on
With love taking us, where we belong
------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------
~Fin~
------ --------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------
"You'll Always Come To My Mind"
Lyrics by Rosa Puss; Music by Toshifumi Hinata
I found this letter today, it was signed "I love you"
Brought me to a time, when your love was mine
Seems we just couldn't get enough
It was good the whole year through
Spring, Summer, Winter and Fall
Remembering the time, when our worlds were one
The time, when we had so much fun
You'll always have a place in my heart
Always be endings and beginnings
I never knew such a feeling could exist
Won't you come back and let me feel life again
And whenever I see trees shedding their leaves in the fall
You'll always come to my mind
And whenever I see children making angels in snow
You'll always come to my mind
I miss you more than words can say, where did we go wrong?
Give me a second chance, to hold you in my arms again
I'll love you better this time, and I'll never let you go
Spring, Summer, Winter and Fall
Remembering the time, when you needed me
The time I loved you endlessly
You'll always have a place in my heart
Always be endings and beginnings
I never knew such a feeling could exist
Won't you come back and let me feel life again
And wnever I see rainbows forming after the storm
You'll always come to my mind
And whenever I hear children singing their favorite songs
You'll always come to my mind
Winter or Spring, Summer or Fall
You'll always come to my mind
And whenever I see rainbows forming after the storm
You'll always come to my mind
Winter or Spring, SUmmer or Fall
You'll always come to my mind
------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
"Where We Belong"
Lyrics by Wayne Hernandez; Music by Toshifumi Hinata
Summer has past, and Winter's gone too
The good times and bad, we made it through
Alone without hope, we carried on
With love taking us, where we belong
There were times, I didn't think we'd last
But in my mind, to live was all I ask
Summer has past, and Winter's gone too
The good times and bad, we made it through
Alone without hope, we carried on
With love taking us, where we belong
I could not imagine, living without the pain
But like the changing seasons
It had to go away
And now we shine as the sun
Summer has past, and Winter's gone too
The good times and bad, we made it through
Alone without hope, we carried on
With love taking us, where we belong
When the day's cold and lonely, and nights are so long
We'll be where we belong
----------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------
< br>